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| | Tisha-1's profile:I'm no expert on human behavior or relationships but I think I have a lot of common sense. I live in the Mid-Atlantic states with my husband, who is my best friend. He is wise, patient, and wonderful and I try to live up to his expectations as he tries to live up to mine. I know I don't always succeed in this, and vice versa, but our mutual sense of humor is the best way of dealing with life!
We have no children; I volunteer and keep the household in somewhat decent order. I was a rep for medical/tech firms which involved quite a bit of travel in the US and Canada. I've lived in a bunch of countries while growing up so I've got some perspective on long distance relationships and hopefully some understanding of other cultures. |
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| Latest articles: Advice to young men about young women
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I want to give my wife a good reason to shave her pubic hair
Q. Hi Readers I have always wanted my wife to shave her pussy, she agrees whilst we are having sex but never gets round to doing it. so i can give her a good reason to do it, 'is there any good reasons or if anyone as any ideas...
A. 15 May 2008: You might try giving her a spa gift certificate for a Brazilian wax.
Though be prepared for some very tender, red skin, and possibly some parts where the top layer of skin has come off. And the red bumps that follow when the hair starts to grow ... (read in full...)
I have a very very diverse complex mix, and I need a POLITE or even cheeky-tongue-in-cheek-non-offensive-funny answer to give to intrusive strangers!
Q. I have a very very diverse complex mix, because of this it makes me stand out as I look extremely different from most people. My race is completely unspecific or impossible to guess. So every single time I leave my house I always have people ...
A. 15 May 2008: For complete strangers: "I'm so glad you asked, you see, I'm a representative for this charity that needs so much help, and I know you won't mind if I spend a few minutes with you talking about the need for donations to help save the _______. This ... (read in full...)
Bad pain, due to PID or pregnancy?
Q. i need help i have or had PID pevlic inflamotary dease i dont know if im spelling it right but well i think im pregnant now im having bad bad pain i didnt wait 3 weeks to have sex i did it the next day and i think also i might have it again an...
A. 15 May 2008: Please see your doctor! You can buy a home pregnancy test to see if you are pregnant, but with your medical history, don't you think it would be a good idea to have it checked out by a medical professional?
Take care of this soon, please take car... (read in full...)
Is this a good plan for losing fear of speaking to girls?
Q. I'm 16 and I have never had a girlfriend, kissed or even held hands. I’m overweight (visibly) and generally painfully shy. I’ve just started considering a plan that can get my shyness to girls to disappear always have trouble talking to them or ...
A. 15 May 2008: I rather like this plan, but I'm afraid that by girl 10 or 15 you'll be asked to leave by the security guards!
You sound like you have a good sense of humor and some good ideas on how to deal with rejection.
How about just treating some gi... (read in full...)
Sex with a fat person, should I give it a try?
Q. This guy asked me to have sex with him. I like him and was thinking about saying yes. I like him alot and he is very nice-looking and has a great personality but is well-built. Would it be awkward having sex with him because he is fat?...
A. 15 May 2008: Um, have you two even been out on a date yet? I'm just asking because I think it's normally a good idea to have some kind of understanding of what the relationship is going to be.
Are you okay if he talks about this at school and tells people y... (read in full...)
He's asked me to have sex with him and I don't know what to say!
Q. I recently just turned 16 and I really like this boy in my year. He is not the nicest looking but he is very nice to me and always complimenting me. I have liked him for a while and now he has asked me to have sex with him. I don't know what to say ...
A. 15 May 2008: Honestly, I would wait until I was in a really committed relationship with a guy who loved me and respected me and wanted only the best for me.
Compliments are easy to give.
Disappointments will be many in a lifetime, and maybe it's time he had... (read in full...)
I'm feeling ignored and unpopular at school, and my parents don't believe me when I say I'm unhappy.
Q. Hi, I no I write to you a lot about this kind of thing. You have given me great advice in the past so I hope you can do so again. I'm getting really down. At school, No-one wants to work with me on group work. I never get in a group with anyone I...
A. 14 May 2008: Hi, I'm waaaayyy older than you but I remember some of the feelings of feeling excluded in school. One so-called friend even started a 'hate club' against me, it was very upsetting at the time, but now I can't remember her name. She wasn't very ... (read in full...)
Any help from girls! Help, is this a period?
Q. hey hey, I started bleeding today from my vagina and methinks it may be periods but i thought id get your opinion.. my blood varys in colour from brownish to bright red is this right?? and i seem to have a continuous flow of blood.. is this normal ...
A. 14 May 2008: Welcome to womanhood! You've got your first period, I'm pretty sure. The colors you described are all quite normal, you typically go from a brighter red to a darker brownish color as a few days pass.
At your age, you can expect that the periods ... (read in full...)
Hurt, confused and broken....help.
Q. i got married last year. me and my husband had a fairytale relationship before we got married. now we have spells of really highs or really lows. I got raped at fifteen, and his beginning to bring it up alot recently. we go through periods where we ...
A. 14 May 2008: He is not fighting fair, if he escalates it into that ultimatum, and if he brings up your being raped. He does that because he's trying to win at any cost, at any cost to you. This is not a good sign, he lacks empathy and coping skills.
I complete... (read in full...)
All I want to know is if YOU would want to be with someone like this?
Q. Ok, I am going to summarize everything and all I want to know is if YOU would want to be with someone like this. My GF before she met me: Slept with 18 people, involved in group sex, cheated, had an abortion, stripped for coke, lots of one nigh...
A. 14 May 2008: You may indeed be the best person she's ever been involved with, from the report you gave of her. But that doesn't mean you need to stay with her. I think you're right to be questioning the longterm viability of this relationship, because if she is ... (read in full...)
I'd like to go on a date with her, but I think I might have been too keen. Have I made a mess of it all?
Q. I gt talking to a girl a couple of weeks ago from a dating site (plentyoffish.com). She said she was just looking for dating, nothing else. We messaged and texted for a couple days until I mentioned 'girlfriend' in a message. (I'd like to date ...
A. 14 May 2008: I think you're going to have to accept that she's not interested in going on a date with you, if she hasn't responded to your texts and voicemails. It could be that you did a little too much texting and trying to contact her, and that put her off, ... (read in full...)
Why isn't she getting pregnant? We keep trying...
Q. me and my partner have been having unprotected sex for 18months now! she is 19 and im 22.it may seem young but we are financially stable and want a baby! but she dont seem to get pregnant! is there a problem with either of us?...
A. 14 May 2008: Laura is correct, you need to be seen by your doctors to find the answer to your question.
Here's a website for some research help:
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/default.htm
Wishing you good luck in conceiving!... (read in full...)
I'm taking care of everyone and no one is taking care of me
Q. This is kind of hard to explain so I'll just start at the beginning. My friend is seven months pregnant and throughout her pregnancy I have been taking care of her. I walk her to class, carry her books, talk to her when she feels down, tell her that ...
A. 14 May 2008: You sound like a very caring and sweet person to be taking care of everyone else; it's very selfless of you. And you have lots of worries on your plate, I know. I think you need to let your girlfriends know about how you're feeling, so that you can ... (read in full...)
What does love mean to you?
Q. This has more than likely been asked many times before but I don't feel like going through thousands of questions. Anyway I wanted to know what each of you thought love means to you....
A. 13 May 2008: I don't think that there is any better answer to this question than the one q1605 gave. That is love.... (read in full...)
I think my friends have spread rumours about me...should I forgive or plot to get even?
Q. Today at school my friend really hurt me. Her and this boy went and told everyone that i am not a virgin. It's really affecting me becasue people are calling me slag and becasue i am normaly quiet and keep out the way people are saying "its always ...
A. 13 May 2008: Honey, don't take this treatment from bullies, and that is what they are, bullies, because they are trying to hurt you in a very awful way. Please tell your parents or a teacher right away; they can help you deal with this better than you trying to ... (read in full...)
Why do I always put down my husband?
Q. I love my husband. Why do I always seem to put him down? I think that he is the most generous smart lovable good person that I've ever met. He is very shy, not real forthcoming with his feelings or affection for that matter. Doesn't like bei...
A. 13 May 2008: Sorry, anonymous male, I wasn't referring to you at all. I was trying to answer a fellow female who's been married for 15 years. If he can't come out of his shell in a 15 year marriage, then there are more serious problems than just posted here. I ... (read in full...)
Why do I always put down my husband?
Q. I love my husband. Why do I always seem to put him down? I think that he is the most generous smart lovable good person that I've ever met. He is very shy, not real forthcoming with his feelings or affection for that matter. Doesn't like bei...
A. 13 May 2008: Are you putting him down in front of other people or just in private?
I know some marriages where one spouse or both seem to be denigrating each other in public; I seriously worry about the long term survivability of those marriages, as it shows... (read in full...)
I need gift ideas for my boyfriend who is starting a new job!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of months now. He has just got a wonderful new job that he will be starting in 2 weeks time. He will get a company car, will have to wear a suit + tie, be clean shaven etc which is a change for him b...
A. 13 May 2008: A really good pen (find out if he likes the ball-point or fountain tips), a nice attache case or briefcase, a great shaving kit, a no-iron shirt with a matching tie, a leather folio that holds a note pad, a good watch, there are some ideas. The best ... (read in full...)
I don't think she fancies me, how do I stop liking her?
Q. I like my friend. We are close. We talk a bit, but I don't know if she likes me. She sends me pics of hear wearing new outfits and asks my opinion. She was tellin me bout this guy who liked her, and she turned him down. So she feels free talk to me ...
A. 13 May 2008: What standard? So they're older or better looking than you seem to think you are? That does not make them of a higher standard. I think really good relationships start by being friends first, and you're already there.
Why not ask her out for dinn... (read in full...)
Is masturbation murder?
Q. well as u all know ''sperm'' is pretty mutch something alive ,i mean it turns into a human if u have sexual intercourse with a woman ,well if people masturbate is it a sin ,as my freind said it ''mastubation is murder'' then he followed on ...
A. 13 May 2008: To add to oldfool's train of thought, by the time a female reaches puberty, she has about 300,000 ova, and a male produces something like 12 trillion spermatozoa in his lifetime. Do the math, I can't! And technically, ova and spermatozoa are cells, ... (read in full...)
I am 16 and I am scared of having sex!
Q. the big question: sex? why am i scared to have sex?! i am 16 and i am scared of having sex, because i hear that it hurts the first time espeacially, and from what i see from movies, i know this will sound funny, bu when i watch movies where it happe...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi, I think that there's nothing wrong with you. You're still young and have lots of time to grow up and learn more about life and the 'adult' things that everyone faces as they get older.
I wouldn't spend much time worrying about it at this poi... (read in full...)
My fingers are deformed and I'm scared it's putting the girls off me
Q. Hey, well Im 18 years old and as of yet had not had a girlfriend. I was born with a birth defect to my hands in which my fingers are deformed.The only relationship i've had has been an online one and she knew about my situation. I'm not anti-social. ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi, saw your post and it reminded me of a well known broadcast and actress here in the US, Bree Walker. She's been married 3 times and has 2 children, so there's definitely hope for you! Though I rather hope you don't have to divorce as many times ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend bleeds everytime we have sex, is it unusual?
Q. Most girls I've had sex with haven't bled during/afterwords, unless they were virgin's or hadn't had sex in quite a while, but my girlfriend at the moment, she bleeds EVERY TIME we have sex? is this unusual?...
A. 12 May 2008: Hi, the best thing for her to do is see the gynecologist; she should be checked out as bleeding every time is not normal. It's so considerate of you to be concerned about this, by the way. Take care, and make sure she sees her doctor!... (read in full...)
I really just want to let myself go with him tomorrow night, but what can I do to stop the nerves?
Q. Bit of a strange question. Recently, my best friend, who is a guy admitted he was in love with me. We have always had an amazingly intimate and close friendship and I think deep down I have always been in love with him too. He left me a letter...
A. 10 May 2008: Hi, what a lovely story! I've got good news and bad news for you. Bear with me, while I spell it out here.
The bad news is, you're not going to be able to stop your nerves. You will be feeling fluttery and worried and scared and happy and excited ... (read in full...)
Should I believe him after he broke the promise the first time, about visiting lap dancing bars?
Q. Hi, My fiance is going out tommorow night to liverpool with a load of guys who want to go to a lap dancing bar, when I first got with my fiance I explained that I do not like these kind of things and he said he didnt like them either and promised...
A. 9 May 2008: Your guy sounds like he cares about you and your feelings, very good start. I think that Birdy and Lonelytwo gave some very good advice, which is to just trust him to do the right thing. It's difficult to do, I know, but if you two have a good ... (read in full...)
Why don't I have an orgasm when I have sex with my partner?
Q. hi, i just want to ask why i did'nt feel orgasm every time i had sex with my partner? my partner is good in sex i know it. he always ask me if im finished i said not yet,if i feel that he can no longer to wait for my orgasm, im just pretending and ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, you're normal, you're in the 70% group that hlskitten described. You shouldn't have to pretend, I'm sure that he would rather you be happy and satisfied than you being worried and faking it.
If he's as considerate as he sounds, then he'll wa... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 9 May 2008: BigSis, you learn AAALLLL kinds of things here on DC! Quite an ejimication... Sorry, Unky Phil, for the *gasp* factor!
And I've got some great new jokes from this thread, ta for that!... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 9 May 2008: Ooh, is that a possible treatment option for frenulum breve?... (read in full...)
Come on aunts and uncles stop dodging your resposibilities....
Q. I often hear the phrase 'it's not for me to judge'. If no one offers a judgement then how is right and wrong determined in society? Someone batters an old woman, 'it's not for me to judge'....Someone molests a child, 'it's not for me to judge'. Isn...
A. 9 May 2008: Interesting question. What are the responsibilities of volunteer agony aunts and uncles? And what does the word 'judge' mean?
These are from dictionary.com:
"to pass legal judgment on; pass sentence on (a person)
"to hear evidence or legal a... (read in full...)
Unusual sperm fetish? I even swallow sperm from used condoms..
Q. Hi, I have an unusual fetish. My thing is that I really enjoy having a guy ejaculate in my mouth. My friends think I am mad but I love the taste of sperm and have always allowed a partner to do this for me. I have not had a boyfriend for ...
A. 9 May 2008: Lisa, I can't help you with controlling the kink, but I need to point out there are infections that can be spread via semen. Hepatitis B is one of them, so if you wish to continue in this practice, I would strongly suggest you get yourself ... (read in full...)
My husband offered me to his friend. Does he just want an open relationship?
Q. House party out of control. I am rather confused and upset. I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for 3 with two young children. We used to have house parties all the time and my hubby would either not drink or drink very little, he was a...
A. 9 May 2008: I read your post with horror, what an awful experience you went through. I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now.
First off, he goes straight to be assessed for alcoholism and any other possible diseases or conditions by the doctor. ... (read in full...)
My neighbor is allowed to kill my dog because my dog "murdered"? What the hell?
Q. hi everyone im gettin really agravated with my neighbor he lives 2 houses down from me and my dog lucy is a lab and a retriever mix n is 12 years old and is still very playfull but now shes to be confined in2 the house because of my dumb ass ...
A. 9 May 2008: From the American Kennel Club website:
Be a Canine Ambassador
Set a Good Example
As a dog owner, you are responsible not only for your own dog's well being, but for the status of dogs everywhere. One irresponsible dog owner in town can ma... (read in full...)
My neighbor is allowed to kill my dog because my dog "murdered"? What the hell?
Q. hi everyone im gettin really agravated with my neighbor he lives 2 houses down from me and my dog lucy is a lab and a retriever mix n is 12 years old and is still very playfull but now shes to be confined in2 the house because of my dumb ass ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, I have a dog too, and I have an 'invisible fence' which keeps him inside our yard. I love my dog too, and I don't want him to be out there wandering around the neighborhood, possibly terrorizing other dogs or cats and other pets, or worry about ... (read in full...)
How to make him interested in me again?
Q. how can i get him back? After being attracted to each other we passed the contact details, then we met once for dinner, he show his real interest by openning up...i was sure he liked me...we had no physical contacts at all, then i told him about my...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, I think he clearly doesnt want to pursue a relationship with you, sorry about that. If he's asked you to delete his contact information, that is as clear a "not interested" sign as there could be. If I were in your shoes, I would do as he ... (read in full...)
I have EXTREMELY bad PMS symptoms, what can I do to reduce their effect before they sabotage my relationship and my own personal well being??
Q. Okay so I have EXTREMELY bad PMS symptoms. I get just about everything known to womankind of this nature. Two weeks before I start my period, my skin breaks out terribly, my stomach cramps, my back aches, I get fatigued, crave junk really ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm not a medical expert, and I think it would be irresponsible to give you advice on the conditions you're describing, other than to offer up some links (see below) and some thoughts here.
I read abo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts...would you say I was over-reacting?
Q. Please help! I don't trust my own judgment because I have anxiety/depression and take meds. I have a b/f who I have been seeing for about three yrs - All my friends say he is using me - I have decorated and remodelled his house, landscaped...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, Chippy, may I ask why you're afraid to end this relationship? Does the getting 'pissy' comment mean you're afraid he's going to be violent?
I'm concerned about this.... (read in full...)
He got caught masturbating in a shopping centre!!
Q. My b/f often masturbates to porn, i'm o.k with this and sometimes we watch it together. Anyhow last week he got caught masterbating in a shopping centre, now i think maybe i shouldn't have encouraged him. What do you think?...
A. 9 May 2008: His behavior in public is not of your making; he chose to do this seriously stupid thing on his own. You do not bear the responsibility for this. What happens inside the privacy of your own house is one thing, what you do in public that could harm ... (read in full...)
Invited to the reception but not the wedding. How rude.
Q. I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding reception, but not her to actual wedding. She didn't go to my wedding or reception last August. I don't want to go to her reception, she's a spoiled little snob, and she treats ppl. like crap. My mom got a ...
A. 8 May 2008: "Dear Cousin X,
"Thank you so much for your your kind invitation to the reception following your wedding. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend. I do wish you all the best on your wedding and future together!"
"Sincerely,
... (read in full...)
Question for the BOYS and MEN on this site about strip clubs!
Q. Hey Question for the BOYS and MEN on this site... ladies are welcome to write their comments as well.... After a boys night out in a Strip club .. coming home to your wife,fiance or girlfriend ... wanting to have sex with her at that moment...
A. 8 May 2008: Hi Therese, you're very welcome. I know this is a touchy area for lots of women and I'm not trying to diminish anyone's feelings on this. It's just that the magnifying lens of worry can make this into a bigger issue than it really is in most ... (read in full...)
I'm being stalked by a telemarketer?
Q. This is bizarre and the whole thing makes me feel like a nutter. Everyone knows telemarketers can be annoying and I've never had much patience with it, I usually hang up as soon as I realize where its going or ask to be removed from the list. ...
A. 8 May 2008: Time to get caller ID, at least for the time being. Get call block too just to be on the safe side.
The next time it happens, try Wizard of Waz's idea! I like that one. My other idea is to say 'just hold on a moment' put the phone down, stand cl... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 8 May 2008: Mandy, those are priceless! I am HOWLING, hope none of the neighbors call the men with the padded vans and those little jackets with the extra long arms...
And Birdy, BigSis and the rest of you lot, I have had to run to the loo, my darlings... (read in full...)
Question for the BOYS and MEN on this site about strip clubs!
Q. Hey Question for the BOYS and MEN on this site... ladies are welcome to write their comments as well.... After a boys night out in a Strip club .. coming home to your wife,fiance or girlfriend ... wanting to have sex with her at that moment...
A. 8 May 2008: I'm going to put in my 2 cents worth on this one. My husband very, very occasionally will be invited to a strip club, normally for a bachelor party. I have to admit, it makes me very uncomfortable, and I have made it very clear to him that he can ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 28 March 2008: Oh, BigSis, you know how to brighten up the day!!! Those council letters are priceless!!! Thank you for the belly laughs.... (read in full...)
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