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| | k_c100's profile:About me.....
I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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How often per week should a couple have sex?
Q. Ok since this has been a reoccuring theme on this site of late, I would like to settle once and for all, how often per week should a couple have sex. My theory is: 3 times combined with 3 times asking how her day was and back/foot rub. And one day...
A. 23 November 2009: This is a pointless question - because the answer is it varies for everyone! Some couples are very sexual and have sex every day of the week, but then again some couples dont have a particularly high sex drive and are happy with having sex a couple ... (read in full...)
Not attracted to obese boyfriend.
Q. I have been with the same guy for three years, we are both in our 40s. When I met him he had just lost 140 lbs through diet and exercise and was running marathons. A big part of my attraction to him was admiration for having lost all that weight and ...
A. 23 November 2009: If you have tried to encourage him to lose weight with no such luck then I think you need to lay it down on the line with him - you have to make him realise how serious this situation is!
It sounds like he has a food addiction and he will need hel... (read in full...)
I can't have sex because condoms turn me off!
Q. I Can't Have Sex Because Condoms Immediately Turn Me Off. What Do I Do? Cuz The Girl I Really Like Won't Go On The Pill. I've Tried To Have Sex But I Can't Because Of The Condom Issue So I'm A Virgin And I Just Want To Get It Over With. What Do I ...
A. 22 November 2009: If you dont want to use a condom and she wont go on the pill then you are both too immature and too irresponsible to have sex. End of story!
If you were mature enough and thought about this properly you would know that you need to use condoms ... (read in full...)
Do you think he got me a ring for Christmas?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 3 years mow. Things have been beyond wonderful lately, we're both going to school, and working towards our future. He also mentions kids and marriage in a few years, but doesn't like long engagements. ...
A. 20 November 2009: Sorry to say this but it could be one of a hundred different things! And with your boyfriend mentioning marriage in a few years and he doesnt like long engagements - that suggests to me that a ring is the last thing he will buy you for Christmas!
... (read in full...)
Has anyone lost weight while pregnant?
Q. hiya well im 19 weeks pregnant with my first baby and am really confused. im getting a nice round bump but other than that have lost nearly 2 stone since i became pregnant and am worried that it could hurt my baby if i carry on losing weight ...
A. 20 November 2009: Well regardless of whether you are pregnant or not, losing 2 stone at any time is not good unless you are seriously overweight! You need to go to your doctor ASAP and get yourself checked out!
How far along in your pregnancy are you? And have you... (read in full...)
Fifteen and I want a baby now! Mature advice needed.
Q. Please help. I'm quite mature, and I have support from my family and friends. I've always wanted a baby, since I have hit puberty, I think of what it would be like, and how hard it'd be but at the same time how wonderful it'd be. I know it costs a ...
A. 20 November 2009: This question is asked a lot on this site, by many girls aged between 13 and 18. And if you notice one thing they all say, it is this "I am really mature for my age" or "I am a mature 13/14/15 year old". Any teenager who will put that into their ... (read in full...)
We've always had a thing for each other but sex didnt quite go to plan, any ideas why?
Q. This is a long question. Please read and help me the best you can Im 16 years old and for a year and a half now Ive been in love with someone. We spoke about being together, but he'd often say he liked other people and mess me around. He said ...
A. 19 November 2009: Ok first of all getting the morning after pill "soon" wont cut it - the morning after pill is only effective within 72 hours of having unprotected sex and even then, the effectiveness of the pill decreases every hour you leave it. Within 24 hours of ... (read in full...)
I know nothing about dating! Has anyone got any advice?
Q. I am a 20 year old male who has never had a date because I've always been to shy to ask anyone. I am, now, perfectly confident in myself and can talk to girls much more easily. The problem is I don't really know absolutely anything about dating and ...
A. 18 November 2009: In answer to your first question, there are loads of places to go on a date, go wherever you like! But as a rule first dates should be somewhere where you can talk properly without having to shout over loud music, or being stuck inside a cinema ... (read in full...)
I have a few guy-related questions - who knew being single could be so complicated?
Q. I have a few guy-related problems just now - who knew being single could be so complicated! Firstly, I've been hearing a lot lately, through the grapevine, that a guy who works in my building likes me. He and I have barely said 2 words to each ...
A. 18 November 2009: Ok so in regards to the guy in your building - firstly, are you attracted to him and would you like to go on a date with him? That is the most important thing - if you dont fancy him and have no real desire to get to know him better then there is no ... (read in full...)
Any good tips for online dating?
Q. I turned 22 a couple of weeks ago. I've decided to try this online dating malarkey now. basically, how do i present myself in the best possible yet most honest light, and have a chance of finding someone? i always used to associate online ...
A. 18 November 2009: Well as much as I dont like admitting this too much, I met my boyfriend through an online dating site (match.com to be precise!). I was on it for 2 months before I met my current boyfriend and went on some dates with some right old idiots before I ... (read in full...)
How can I gently break the news to my mother-in-law that I am pregnant?
Q. Ok then. This is the first time i've used this site, so be nice! (And excuse the punctuation, my CTRL button is tempermental today) So I was wondering how to break the news that im pregnant to my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful woman, and has a...
A. 17 November 2009: I think you might be worrying a little too much here! Yes while she might think you should have waited - that is her opinion at the end of the day and she will know that. You are already pregnant - no matter what she thinks nothing is going to ... (read in full...)
Does he really love me if he needs time to think?
Q. I spilt up from my boyfriend of three and a half years almost 7 months ago. There has been a lot of hurt and pain caused, and a lot of things said and done and as a results we have found it really difficult to get back together. However, we still ...
A. 17 November 2009: Well before I even get onto the part about you and your ex, the first thing you need to do is leave this poor guy you are seeing! End things now before you hurt him further, it is not fair on him when you are still in love with someone else.
... (read in full...)
Does the number of x's at the end of a message mean anything?
Q. Hey, Id just like everyones opinion on this very controvertial topic! Now everyone says 'dont be silly and count the number of x's; nobody uses that as a way to say if they like someone.' But they do. Atleast everyone did a lot when we were younger,...
A. 17 November 2009: I think the answer to this question differs depending on whether you are male or female. For a female we purposely mean different things by the number of x's at the end of a message. I know I personally will put 3 on all messages, sometimes more ... (read in full...)
Female Ejaculation Problems, Help!!!
Q. So I've been attempting to masturbate for a while now to see if I can have an orgasm since I haven't experienced one with a partner. I watched a video explaining tips on how to ejaculate, so I start masturbating and I reach that point where I'm ...
A. 17 November 2009: Well let me just say this as a woman - I have never experienced a female ejaculation nor would I want to! Yes I can orgasm, whether that is through clitoral stimulation or through penetration, but I have never "ejaculated" so to speak. You can ... (read in full...)
What are "bang bang" shoes?
Q. What are "bang bang" shoes as in that n-dubz song where she says "you left me standing in my bang-bang shoes" And where can I get some? lol x...
A. 16 November 2009: I doubt many people on this site would have any idea, N-Dubz and other such teen bands seem to have their own language that means nothing to normal people who tend to use English rather than street slang when speaking.
As a fashion graduate... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I'm so hungry for comfort I'll jump into any relationship!
Q. Things have been very confusing for me lately, I just started University, one of my best friends abandoned our ten year friendship for a guy that she knew I liked (who I was also friends with) over the summer, my grandmother is very ill and despite ...
A. 16 November 2009: Well ask yourself this - are you just lonely and would be happy to meet any guy so you could have a boyfriend? Or cant you imagine being with anyone else and only want to be with him?
If you think it is the first option then no, getting into a r... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a baby and I don't. What do I do?
Q. Im 18 and im in college and my boyfriend is 20 and he wants a baby. Now i dont think he ready for one and plus i want to wait but he dont. I love him so much that i dont want to loose him. So everytime we get on that subject and i say no he gets mad ...
A. 16 November 2009: Just explain that while you would love to have a baby with him in the future, now is just not the right time to have a child.
You need to talk to him in a calm manner and give him a full explanation of why you dont want a baby - if you are just... (read in full...)
I can't compete with his ex.
Q. Dear All, I have been with my fiance for two years but I cannot get over HIS Ex. When he and I met, he had been single for two years after breaking up with the first woman he was ever emotionally involved with. He lived with her and her child ...
A. 13 November 2009: So let me get this straight. His ex was a cheat, she used him for his money and she had a kid that wasnt your boyfriends? So why on earth would you feel threatened by that?!
As long as you dont lie to him, cheat on him or use him for his money yo... (read in full...)
Does it hurt worse to lose your virginity when you are younger?
Q. i was wondering if it would hurt worse to lose your virginity when your my age which is thirteen or if it was the same no matter what age you are cause my friend said it was worse when your younger....
A. 13 November 2009: louxxlouxx is totally right, at 13 your body is not fully developed and puberty has only just kicked in (have you even started your periods yet?). So during puberty your hips widen, your boobs grow....all those sorts of changes that take you from a ... (read in full...)
Conflicted in having to choose between my girlfriend and my out of state job offer
Q. I'll keep it short: I am 20 and I live in Texas. I have an oppurtunity for a good job in New York doing what I love doing. My girlfriend of several years, however, is reluctant to move out of Texas. I love her more than anything, but I'm having ...
A. 13 November 2009: At your age you cannot pass on the chance to take a job like this, after all you are only 20 and these opportunities dont come along often. At such a young age you dont have the responsibilities that tie you down to a certain place, like kids, a ... (read in full...)
I love my teacher and is that okay?
Q. I like my teacher, is this totally wrong? I don't expect for him to ask me on a date. I know its illegal. and its not like i want to go out with him or kiss him or anything! i sometimes blush when i talk to him and idk why! and i sometimes get kind...
A. 11 November 2009: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-truth-about-teacher-student-relationships.html
Have a little read of this first - it is a pretty extreme story but it just shows how dangerous flirting with a teacher can be.
Ok so in terms of your question... (read in full...)
Should I reassure my teacher it was just a small crush and nothing more?
Q. This isn't like a teacher crush thing, because I know i'll lose half the people with just that sentence. There's this teacher at my school that I have spoken to a few times but we don't really know each other. I am attracted to him, but nothing ...
A. 11 November 2009: Well first of all the way he behaved as a teacher was wrong and as a person in a position of responsibility he should have known better. He should have spoke to you in private if he was concerned about any feelings you had for him instead of telling ... (read in full...)
What do men find most attractive about women?
Q. what are men really attracted to? now as a young woman i am curious do men like skinny women or do they like a woman with some meat? what is the most attractive aspect of a womans body? do men like curvy or a stick? ...
A. 11 November 2009: From my experiences some men like slim girls (never ones that look anorexic though with their bones poking out) and some men like girls with curves, some men even go as far as liking what we would call "obese" girls! So it really is each to their ... (read in full...)
Is it work or age difference that is really keeping him away?
Q. Why does age difference have to be an issue after you turn 18? Say I'm 19 and he's 39? Why does work have to be an issue when your both single and its only a seasonal job so you only see the other in the summer or winter? If I were to work a s...
A. 10 November 2009: There is nothing wrong with liking a man older than you per say, but where the problems lie is in terms of the difference in maturity levels, life experiences and desires in life. Where a 39 year old man will be wanting to get married and settle ... (read in full...)
She fancies my man...do I confront her?
Q. hi. my best friend fancies my man. i told him and he said that he loves me and always will. i believe him. the thing is every one can see what she is doing.i feel that she is trying to push me out by taking over my life. dont know what to do as if i ...
A. 9 November 2009: Well at the end of the day you have your boyfriend and she doesnt have him - by pursuing her she just seems sad and desperate.
I think you shouldnt necessarily confront her as such but just have a word with her when you are both alone. Dont acc... (read in full...)
My b/f makes me feel complexed about my body, I used to be happy about it!
Q. When I'm watching movies with my boyfriend he is always pointing out which girls have better breasts or stomachs than me. If there is a topless scene he will immediately turn to me and tell me things like, "her's are much bigger than yours, they're ...
A. 6 November 2009: Surely you cant believe that you think he says these things to "help you"? No person on this earth would talk about how attractive other women/men in front of their partner thinking that it is helpful to point out what is so great about that other ... (read in full...)
I think my 14 year old sister is going to run away with a 24 year old man!
Q. i'm worried about my sister shes 14 in half and shes going out with a 24 year old. she was scared i was going to tell mom and dad about it so she made me promse to not say anything to them. and i'm worried that hes going to hurt her. she wont tell ...
A. 5 November 2009: Well if she wont talk to you about what is going on then the only thing you can do is tell your parents. I understand she made you promise not to tell them but at the end of the day her safety is at risk here so it is very important you tell them. ... (read in full...)
My period still hasn't shown up, could I be pregnant?
Q. I've been on the pill since August (microlite) and sometimes me and my boyfriend don't use condoms. Normally he doesn't cum inside me (I know it's not a proper method of contraception) but my period's late now =( Usually my seven day break starts o...
A. 5 November 2009: Well if you have been taking your pill properly since August the chances of you being pregnant are pretty slim so try not to worry just yet.
When you are on your 7 day break it can take anywhere from 2-7 days for your period to show up, and its ... (read in full...)
What is so wrong about me and my body?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, we live together and he tells me we are going to be together, we've talked about marriage and tells me I'm beautiful, although I don't feel that way! I just found out that he has been lying ...
A. 4 November 2009: This question comes up a lot on this site so you should have a read around the topic and look at some of the other answers as they may able to help you. This is what I say every time this question comes up:
Read this - http://w... (read in full...)
Romantic gift ideas?
Q. Hi All My partner is a little down lately, and id really like to surprise her with something to cheer her up.. something romantic. The problem is, money is VERY tight right now, and ive done most of the things i can think of (massages, flow...
A. 3 November 2009: I always think the best things you can do for someone is not to buy them a gift as such but show you care by taking some time to do something special for them.
If she is stressed out or feeling down then why not surprise her one night by running ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to have sex
Q. Earlier this year, I had a chance to lose my virginity with someone I was seeing. But once we were naked, and I was about to insert my penis, I just couldn't..i lost all confidence, and didnt have the guts to go in. Since then, I've thought abo...
A. 3 November 2009: Well to start the girl you are seeing is not helping by making you feel like you only have 1 chance! That will make you even more nervous! If she is saying things like that to you then she is not the sort of person you want to be losing your ... (read in full...)
She masterbated to his voice during a business phone call...am I overreacting and how should I handle this?
Q. Hi everyone, My question is about my boyfriend's ex.Her behaviour has upset me.I think that he should not talk to her any more.Am I overreacting?How should I deal with this? I am with someone I love dearly for over a year now.And he loves me too....
A. 3 November 2009: There is not a lot you can do in this situation - your boyfriend handled the situation correctly so all he can do if it happens again is to do the exact same thing. You could suggest to him that they keep all of their business correspondence over ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat on my boyfriend, and if so does that mean I'm not happy with him?
Q. I'm very much in love with my boyfriend, we've been together for 7 months and it feels very right, like I've found my soul mate. I've been through enough abusive/controlling/violent and generally unhappy relationships to know that I'm definitely ...
A. 30 October 2009: Ok this exact same thing happened to me when I went away to uni aged 18. I had the most perfect boyfriend - I really loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We were happy even though we were doing the long distance, see each ... (read in full...)
Will this pill have worked in time to keep me from becoming pregnant?
Q. i was on the contreceptive injection and i came off it after being on it for about a year about 5months later i took the pill desogestrel (cerazette) it says on the packet, i took it before going to my boyfriends house about 18 hours before just the ...
A. 29 October 2009: Unless you had taken the contraceptive pill (it doesnt matter which one - they all work in the same way just with different strengths of certain hormones) every day for a week before you had sex then yes there is a good chance you could be pregnant. ... (read in full...)
How do you get out and about and back on the market?
Q. Hey all, I've asked questions here before and always gotten a good response so here goes again. Don't be afraid to be forthright, I'd like the truth. I broke up with a girl a few years ago and realised that I hadnt developed myself as a pe...
A. 28 October 2009: Well first of all well done you for realising you needed to work on yourself - that takes a lot so well done and you will be a much better person for it!
As for what you can do to help build your social life - why not join a local running club? Th... (read in full...)
I always used to turn boys down but now I am ready for a boyfriend! How do I let them know that I wont reject them this time?
Q. Basically, I'm a decent looking girl who has always frequently been asked out by boys. However, having just hit the age of 15 (which I consider old enough to have a boyfriend) - I also had enough self respect to refrain myself from the previous ...
A. 27 October 2009: Firstly the biggest turn off to a guy is a desperate female. So "needing" a boyfriend is probably the worst thing you can feel, and guys will run a mile from you if they can sense how desperate you are.
Second - self-esteem is not a turn on. If y... (read in full...)
Are girls in this country just shallow and racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 years old male living in the UK. I'm originally from Japan, however I've been living here for a long time, since i was young. I don't know if this type of things should be asked on here, as it's not directly linked to existing...
A. 22 October 2009: Well what can I say? It appears you have already made your mind up about this country! Even though you have lived here a long time you seem to not consider England as your home and your nationality, so why not move back to Japan if you are really ... (read in full...)
Are girls in this country just shallow and racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 years old male living in the UK. I'm originally from Japan, however I've been living here for a long time, since i was young. I don't know if this type of things should be asked on here, as it's not directly linked to existing...
A. 22 October 2009: Ok so after your follow up, you said that this one girl got pregnant so she could have a house and benefits - so that has absolutely nothing to do with avoiding you then does it! She is just one of the awful individuals I cannot abide here in the UK ... (read in full...)
She's 100% mediocre and I just want to get rid of her. How do I do this painlessly?
Q. Ok so I met this girl a couple months ago, and we're dating now. This is the first girl I have ever had real feelings for. When I'm with her I turn to mush, I smother her and make myself sick to my stomache with how nice I am to her. She isn't ...
A. 22 October 2009: Even if you did "get rid" of her and found someone "better" - i.e. someone more attractive and better in bed, you would still be thinking about this girl and you would not have these feelings for the more attractive woman. Often the most attractive ... (read in full...)
I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...
A. 21 October 2009: Ask yourself this - what happens if you get drunk again on another night out and have argued with your boyfriend that day? Do you know deep down that you will never ever sleep with another man again, no matter how drunk you might be? Basically can ... (read in full...)
Are girls in this country just shallow and racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 years old male living in the UK. I'm originally from Japan, however I've been living here for a long time, since i was young. I don't know if this type of things should be asked on here, as it's not directly linked to existing...
A. 21 October 2009: I agree with what Satindesire said - no woman will ever get pregnant just to avoid you! These girls that got pregnant - the chances are they are in relationships and are having babies with their partners, or they may of had unprotected sex and these ... (read in full...)
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