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*ark25 agony aunt

*ark25

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*ark25's profile:

Hello. I'm 26 and from England. I've been through a lot these past few years. I'm an ex self harmer and suffer from OCD and anxiety issues all caused by depression. I have great difficulty in getting girlfriends so can empathise with people who write about being single or lonely. I do believe that you can take some good from any situation. Even if it's only a quarter of one percent, you're a quarter of one percent more wiser and more experienced than before. The experience and wisdom learnt will be useful more than once throughout your life.

12Next > [2 pages, 59 answers]

I'm dating 2 guys, and one of them has never had a girlfriend before!

Q.   I just found out that a guy I’ve been seeing (though he’s been interstate for work for the past month) has never had a girlfriend before. That’s a 22 year old guy who hasn’t had even a casual relationship before. One of his friends just let it slip ...

A.   4 September 2009: The previous answer to this question is being a bit unfair. It's not odd. And it's judgemental to say that he probably has a hang up. Maybe he's just shy and unlucky.... (read in full...)

Was I wrong to ask her?

Q.   I've dropped a bollock! I was friends with a girl and I've asked her if we could ever be more than that. She said no but she also said that "maybe we shouldn't hang out as much" which basically means "get lost! I don't want to be your friend any ...

A.   22 August 2009: I've just been on Facebook and seen that she's removed the references to me. I don't understand why she's angry. Can any women tell me their views on this?... (read in full...)

My dad says that anything bigger than a five year age difference is too big and illegal until I turn 18. Opinions please.

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have just started seeing each other. He is 22 and and I am 16. My dad says that anything bigger than a five year age difference is too big and illegal until I turn 18. I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me, or was more ...

A.   1 November 2008: It's not illegal to have sex with someone of over the age of sixteen. Your dad is saying these things to try and stop you from seeing him. He only cares about you. To be honest with you I don't blame him. It might not be illegal but why would a ... (read in full...)

Does sperm cause problems by swallowing?

Q.   right quite a wierd question, can you get an upset stomach from swallowing the sperm?...

A.   1 November 2008: Semen is mainly water so swallowing it is harmless but some people have sensitive stomachs and anything can upset it. I think you should be safe but as a previous poster said the producer may have an infection or something. It's best to use condoms ... (read in full...)

My man wants to do my backdoor/butt? Any advice?

Q.   The guy that I am seeing has been asking me for anal lately and I have never ever done it. I heard it really hurts, but it is ok if you use lots of lube. I am kind of interested in trying it as he is always poking around back there with his cock...

A.   1 November 2008: There is nothing wrong with experimenting and anal sex is very common. If you want to try this then fine but don't let him pressure you or make you feel guilty for not wanting to do it. If you do decide to try it then take things very slowly. I ... (read in full...)

Does it hurt if a man gets an erection and is not relieved by ejaculation?

Q.   Hi. If a man gets an erection and it is not realieved by ejaculation. Does it hurt?...

A.   6 October 2008: Yes it does depending on how long they've had the erection. If you're being intimate with someone, whether it's talking or being physical, they will more than likely have an erection. After a while it will start hurting and ejaculating is the only ... (read in full...)

I engage in sex with men I don't love, because I want to feel loved but they treat me like garbage instead! What's wrong with me?

Q.   iam verry clingy...i dont know whats wrong with me iam scared to be by myself, i take a lot of crap form guys...i still talk to my ex and even mess with him from time to time after he hurt me so much....stupid huh....i even have this stupid relation ...

A.   4 October 2008: You are suffering from low self esteem. People who engage in mindless sex, which is what you are doing, are screaming out for love and attention. They want affection and think that they can only get it by having sex. But it doesn't work like that. ... (read in full...)

How erect does a guy have to be to give him a blow job?

Q.   Im curious. A guy's penis, does it have to be erect before you can start to play with him or give him a blowjob? All answers welcomed and appreciated. Thanks!...

A.   4 October 2008: No, a blokes penis does not have to be erect for you to give him a blowjob. Before you even go down there you would have been kissing and touching which will make him hard but if he's not he soon will be when you start giving him a blowjob.... (read in full...)

STD from a dog?

Q.   I came home from work early and saw my girlfriend at the time uploading videos to the web. When i logged onto the PC i went to check out what she recorded. It seems my ex-girlfriend engaged is sexual acts with my German Sheppard. She literally had ...

A.   4 October 2008: I don't know if about STD's from animals but I do know that animals carry different germs and bacteria that can make humans ill. That's why animals aren't allowed in kitchens and people don't let dogs lick their face and things like that. Let's be ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to try new things without discussing it or am I right to be upset?

Q.   I am sexually active with my bf of 9 months. Last night we had sex and he pulled out and jizzed all over me. He's never done that before. We use birth control and he didn't need to do that. I got mad because he didn't ask first. He says he shouldn't ...

A.   4 October 2008: To be honest with you I disagree with the two previous comments. There is nothing wrong in being spontaneous when it comes to sex but there are limitations and what your boyfriend did crossed the line. It was rude and ignorant to you. Not all women ... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm crap at everything I do. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Q.   Hi, im 25 and have a fairly comfortable life, nice parents and a wonderful boyfriend, so i feel stupid writing this, but i sometimes wonder what purpose i have in life. i mean im not particulary good at anything, i dont have a talent and even tho...

A.   19 September 2008: You are not a waste of space. And don't feel stupid by writing in. You're not. You are suffering from low self esteem. Ask yourself "why did my boyfriend choose to go out with me?" He could have had somebody else but he chose you. He chose you ... (read in full...)

My ex has me utterly humiliated by revealing intimate details about me and our sex life to... anyone who will listen! How do I get revenge?

Q.   I recently went through a messy break-up with a girl who I'd been dating for two years. After the break up, she started revealing certain intimate details about me to members of my family and pretty much anyone else who'll listen. She's divulged ...

A.   15 September 2008: Don't try and get revenge. It usually backfires and makes you look as pathetic as the person who's telling everyone. Don't bring yourself down to their level. Hold your head up high and deny everything saying that she's making these things up ... (read in full...)

Is it true that you can get pregnant if you have sex a couple of days before your period?

Q.   I think im pregnant. Im supposed to get my period already, we had sex 3 days ago and people say that if u have sex like a couple days befoore ur period u can get pregnant. is it true? and what should i do?...

A.   15 September 2008: Yes it is true. There is no such thing as safe sex unless you use protection. Women can get pregnant at any time. It's always a risk when you have unprotected sex.... (read in full...)

He went down on me and wanted nothing in return - is this normal?

Q.   Me and this guy that I've only met twice have hooked up each time we've been together while at a friend's house. Each time, he's gone down on me, but afterwards it didn't seem like he wanted anything in return. Does that seem wierd to anyone? Why ...

A.   15 September 2008: No, this isn't weird. Men love performing oral sex. It's as simple as that. There is a common misconception that men only want blowjobs and will only do anything if they can get something in return. This is rubbish. Not all men are selfish. Seeing ... (read in full...)

How can I know my girlfriend is ready for sex?

Q.   How can i know that my girlfriend is ready for sex?...

A.   15 September 2008: You're girlfriend will tell you. You'll be having foreplay and when you start progressing to actual intercourse she'll let you know that that's what she wants. If she doesn't then, again, she'll tell you. Don't think about it too much. Just let ... (read in full...)

When I have sex I either ejaculate too quick or can't get erect! Please advise.

Q.   I have a Big problem anytime Im havin sex either I come too Quick or I cant get hard or I get hard for a lil while and it go down I really need help with that because I dont why this happenin to me please get back at me with some good answer thanks...

A.   15 September 2008: The biggest cause for losing an erection or premature ejaculation is nerves and anxiety. Don't worry about it too much. The more you have sex with her the more the less likely these things will happen. Alternatively, there are a number of things ... (read in full...)

I choke during fellatio every time, what shall I do?

Q.   MY bf is too big for me to give blowjobs, everytime i do it i choke, i want to carry on but i cant breath what shall i do?? ...

A.   15 September 2008: There is not a right way to perform fellatio. Fellatio is using your mouth to pleasure the penis. You don't have to put the whole thing in. Just take what you're comfortable with. That's what's important. Licking and caressing the penis is very ... (read in full...)

Could he be playing games?

Q.   What does it mean when a guy wants you to stay the night after sex, but then says he does not want a relationship with you. Is he playing games? ...

A.   15 September 2008: Yes, he is playing games. Unfortunately many men only see women as sex objects to be used for their pleasure. These are very selfish and ignorant men that would best be avoided. As long as you keep having sex with him he'll keep using you. That's ... (read in full...)

He ejaculated on my hand, I touched myself when it dried. Am I pregnant or am I stressed?

Q.   I have been with my bf for 2 months and i gave him a hand job. he cumed on my hand it dried then i touch the top of my vagina but not near my hole. im missing my period and im really worried im not even a teen yet...

A.   12 September 2008: I just want to correct a post that I made earlier. I said that sperm start dying as soon as they come into contact with the air. This information is wrong. Sperm can live for several hours after contact with the air. I apologise for the ... (read in full...)

He ejaculated on my hand, I touched myself when it dried. Am I pregnant or am I stressed?

Q.   I have been with my bf for 2 months and i gave him a hand job. he cumed on my hand it dried then i touch the top of my vagina but not near my hole. im missing my period and im really worried im not even a teen yet...

A.   12 September 2008: It's unlikely that you are pregnant. Sperm cannot live outside of the body. Sperm start dying when they come into contact with the air. Semen has to actually get inside your body to fertilise an egg so if it was dry then it's highly unlikely that ... (read in full...)

How do you stand when you offer fellatio?

Q.   where do i give a handjob to my boyfriend? sit or lie down or what? ...

A.   11 September 2008: A handjob is not fellatio. Fellatio is oral sex. Stimulating the penis with your mouth. In either case just do what feels right at the time. If you spend time thinking about you'll be really nervous and anxious. When it becomes to being intimate ... (read in full...)

I'm having trouble down below but know I have no STD's because I've been tested! Help!

Q.   Heya, I have found recently that my intimate area has been very painful. I have had unusual discharge inbetween periods, but my periods themselves have been completley normal. I haven't had sex in a depressingly long time! Although last time it ...

A.   11 September 2008: It's best to go and see a doctor. It could be a number of things. Don't be embarrassed. Doctors deal with things like this everyday. They've been doing it for years.... (read in full...)

What was your first instinct when a girl wants/wanted you to "finger" her?

Q.   Hi preferably I'd like it if JUST THE MEN answer?.. What is/was your first instinct to do when a girl wants/wanted you to "finger" her?...

A.   6 September 2008: I'm sorry, I misunderstood the question. No, my first instinct is not to put my finger in her vagina. It's to gently massage and caress the clitoris before I put my finger in. Most women don't get pleasure from penetration only from clitoral ... (read in full...)

How can I convince my boyfriend to have sex with me while I'm on my period?

Q.   My sex drive seems to be at its highest when I have my period, but my boyfriend isn't keen on the idea of sex then because he doesn't like blood. I have never tried having sex on my period. Is it commonly done? What are people's views on it? I don't ...

A.   6 September 2008: Don't try to push him into having sex while you're on your period. Most men loathe the thought of it. It's something that I could never do. Men don't understand periods and find them gross. They're not gross but because we don't have them we ... (read in full...)

What was your first instinct when a girl wants/wanted you to "finger" her?

Q.   Hi preferably I'd like it if JUST THE MEN answer?.. What is/was your first instinct to do when a girl wants/wanted you to "finger" her?...

A.   6 September 2008: Most men's first instinct is to do it. If a girl wants you to do that to her then she must really like you. Fingering is a very intimate act and women don't let anybody do it to them. When a girl asks me to finger her then I do it.... (read in full...)

I want to masturbate my boyfriend but what should I do with the seminal fluid?

Q.   i want to jerk my boyfriend off but what do you do with all the cum...

A.   1 September 2008: The only thing you can do is clean it up. Alternatively, you could use a condom. But don't forget, that if you're both underage for sex then any form of sexual contact is illegal. Even touching each other. Are you sure you're ready to be this ... (read in full...)

I'm 17 and need some sex advice.

Q.   hello, im 17. i wanted to know what oral sex is and how it can help me get towards anual sex. and what is the diffrence between them, do you need a comdon. and does it hurt. i have tried to finger myself but icant evry time i get turned on i go in ...

A.   30 August 2008: Most women don't get pleasure from fingering. Very few women orgasm through penetration. They usually get pleasure from touching or stroking the clitoris which is on the outside. Oral sex is when you stimulate your partners penis or vagina using ... (read in full...)

I clearly prefer sex with a girl but I can't see me in a relationship with one, so am I lesbian?

Q.   For some reason when i have sex with a guy...it does not feel good...but when i do with a girl i like it mor...am finding myself looking at girls now and feel more attarcted to them...but at the same time to see me in a realtionship with a girl....i ...

A.   30 August 2008: You're still young and your emotions and feelings are still developing. You may find yourself becoming more attracted to girls as you get older and feel that a relationship with a woman is what you want or you may start to feel more attracted to men ... (read in full...)

Did we make out for too long? Or is it the wearing of the condom for the first time that's generated the erection problem?

Q.   Okay so I've been seeing my girlfriend for about four months, we met at the start of summer this year. Both of us are still virgins and right now would have been the second time that we have tried to have sex. The first time was a few weeks back at ...

A.   30 August 2008: You can't make out for too long. That's why you make out. To get you aroused for intercourse. Lots of men lose their erection when trying to put a condom on. They are fiddly and annoying to put on. Unfortunately because they are so fiddly you ... (read in full...)

Is the foreskin supposed to pull back during sex?

Q.   when having sex my foreskin gets pulled back as soon as i insert it, is this meant to happen? I find it very when I start rubbing wot can I do about this? Thank you for your help. ...

A.   21 August 2008: It shouldn't hurt when it gets pulled back. There is a condition called phimosis. It's where the foreskin is too tight and doesn't retract properly causing pain. It's best to see the doctor and let them check it out.... (read in full...)

Is the foreskin supposed to pull back during sex?

Q.   when having sex my foreskin gets pulled back as soon as i insert it, is this meant to happen? I find it very when I start rubbing wot can I do about this? Thank you for your help. ...

A.   20 August 2008: Yes. The foreskin is meant to be pulled back during sex. The foreskin helps to stimulate the shaft of the penis during intercourse and, for some women, it helps to make sex more pleasurable.... (read in full...)

Should he wear a condom during fellatio or a hand job?

Q.   My boyfriend wants me to give him a blow job or a hand job and I was just wondering should he wear a condom and what happens when he cums, do I stop and let him take over, I am a little unsure as I have never done his before. Thank you....

A.   16 August 2008: This one is basically down to how comfortable you feel and whether he has and STD. If you're unsure about his sexual health then, yes, wear a condom. Like PsyCookie says, though, make sure it's flavoured. You can get an STD from a hand job. If you ... (read in full...)

Will he be put off by my telling him I am a virgin?

Q.   I am seeing this guy, he is my first proper boyfriend and we have decided to have sex, should I tell him I am a virgin, or do you think this might put him off. He has had a lot of experience and I am scared incase he will be able to tell because I ...

A.   16 August 2008: If he cares for you it won't put him off. On the contrary he will be very pleased. So many girls lose their virginity from an early age. Being a virgin shows that you respect yourself and your body enough not to go sleeping around. Don't be scared. ... (read in full...)

We've been dating 2 months and now it's over! Should I wait around or find a rebound guy?

Q.   he is away and can't talk much ... i told him i wanted a break through voicemail ... then he wouldn't talk to me so i took it back ... and days went by and he texted me he wanted a break and we needed to decide if we could "handle this" meaning the ...

A.   16 August 2008: Don't jump into a rebound relationship. That's the worst thing that you could do. You will,ultimately, end up feeling worse than you do now. I know you're heartbroken at the minute and feel that no other man compares to him but, I promise you, give ... (read in full...)

Why does this fit, talented bloke want to go out with me?

Q.   I have been seeing this really fit bloke who is outgoing, talented and really good looking, my problem is I don't know why he wants to go out with me, as I am shy, a bit boring and very preditable which he doesn't like. I know I am not his usual ...

A.   16 August 2008: In relationships it's the personality that counts. You say that you're the exact opposite of the things he likes. Maybe he wants someone different. Perhaps he's been disappointed by other girls and feels that you are a breath of fresh air. Reading ... (read in full...)

Gf is having difficulty with bowel movements after anal...

Q.   we had anal and now my gf is having a hard time passing a bowel movement, she said that everytime she feels like she has to go, nothing comes out but air... shes been like this ever since we did it and that was like 4 days ago, she doesnt feel any ...

A.   16 August 2008: The anus is only supposed to be a one way street so when it's penetrated from the other way the body can't really handle it. You've probably stretched the anal passage which is why your girlfriend feels loose. It's best to go and see a doctor to get ... (read in full...)

Every time my girlfriend tries to give me a blowjob I feel sick!

Q.   hi , everytime my girlfriends goes to give me a bj i feel sick. Other things we do im fine i have slept with her and i feel comfortable. she really wants to do it but i cant because i feel sick can anyone tell me why or help me ???...

A.   16 August 2008: I'm not positive but it sounds like anxiety. Have you ever had a blow job before and did it make you feel sick? Anxiety is a defence mechanism. When our brain receives a threat based thought, whether the threat is real or not, it releases adrenalin ... (read in full...)

I'm so scared that I don't look right "down there".

Q.   So I'm in a relationship right now and it's likely that I'm going to engage in intercourse in the near future. My problem is that I'm panicking about my appearance down there... I mean, what do guys expect? I'm scared that I'll have done something ...

A.   9 August 2008: Guy's don't expect anything. All vagina's look different. I can promise you that he'll just be pleased to be with you. Please don't worry. Everything'll be fine.... (read in full...)

Why can't I come during oral or full sex and what can I do to change this?

Q.   hi i got with my new boyfriend , i was a virgin untill i got with him, we have had sex loads of times, but when we have oral or full sex i can never come no matter what, is there something wrong with me, my boyfriend gets upset coz he cant make me,...

A.   9 August 2008: Don't worry about it. There's nothing wrong with you. For a women to orgasm is not as easy or mechanical as it for a man. You just haven't found what works for you. Keep trying different things, positions, techniques. All sorts of stuff. Eventually ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend enjoys oral sex, but her pubic hair is a turnoff for me, I've talked to her about it, but so far it is still the same, what do I do now?

Q.   My girl says she really enjoys guys giving her oral sex. I really want to but im put off by her pubes. I don't want her pubes in my mouth. I've talked to her about it and she says she might get it waxed but that was months ago and still the bush ...

A.   9 August 2008: To be honest with you, it's her body and if she doesn't want to trim or get rid of her pubes then that's her business. It's clear that she doesn't want to get rid of them so it's rude and , to be honest with you, a little bit insulting. You might be ... (read in full...)

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