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*rmyMedic agony aunt

*rmyMedic

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*rmyMedic's profile:

I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.

I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.

My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).

When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.

If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex.

Latest articles:

STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...

Why don't boys reply to my texts?

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...

1234567891011Next > [36 pages, 1400 answers]

I'm afraid my mom is pregnant...

Q.   Ugh, I think my mom's pregnant. I'm 16 and an only child, my parents are married and I love how my life is. I don't want anything to change and i'm in shock.. I feel like crying... My mom is 38 and she got pregnant last year, too, but had an ...

A.   16 December 2009: Talk to your Mum, but you do sound very selfish about the issue.... (read in full...)

What is the least painful sexual position for a virgin?

Q.   Im 14, and me and my bf are ready for sex for the first time, im kinda scared though, whats the easiest/ least painful position for first timers?...

A.   16 December 2009: Least painful is anytime after your 16th birthday, using proper protection (condoms)!... (read in full...)

Is Chlamydia only transmitted by having sex?

Q.   Is Chlamydia only transmitted by having sex? and which test is more reliable the Chlamydia swab testing done by the doctor or the Chlamydia self testing kits (wee pot). I ask because I went to the doctors nearly two weeks ago. She thought I might ...

A.   16 December 2009: All STIs can be transmitted by "fooling around" you don't need full intercourse. As for the tests, this is slightly worrying, and I would go back to your doctor and explain about the conflicting results, asap.... (read in full...)

By penis only!

Q.   I am 20 years old and I am a virgin. I dont know how to have sex, I was looking for educational videos but all i found is porn videos and its disgusting. Can a girl have first time sex (losing virginity) without using the finger, just by penis ...

A.   16 December 2009: Yes... (read in full...)

My Techie Crush!

Q.   Okay. So there is this amazingly beautiful man at my school. He is a techie, he fixes the computers around our school and stuff. And ya, you've guessed it.. I like him. Probley way too much. But its freaky. I've NEVER felt anything like it in my ...

A.   16 December 2009: I don't think he likes you, as you said it's a crush and as a teenage girl you will have plenty more crushes. Please don't follow your feelings on this as adults who work with children have to go through such tough security checks now, that if ... (read in full...)

My unemployed b/f has anger issues, and I want to confront him about them

Q.   My boyfriend doesn't work and has a bad temper; how do I confront him about this without him breaking up with me?...

A.   16 December 2009: Just confront him, if he breaks up with you because you point out an issue of concern that he isn't willing to sort out, he's obviously not worth dating. Unemployment is a very miserable situation but taking out frustrations on other people a... (read in full...)

Is there a dodgy underground sex trade?

Q.   this is gonna sound like a weird question but does anyone know if there are any working girls who cater to very weird or risky fetishes-such as unprotected anal sex or scatophilia-the reason I ask is because I know someone who was threatened by a ...

A.   12 October 2009: There is a huge dodgy underground sex trade in the UK putting the lives of thousands of girls at risk and often they are illegally imported into the country. If you know information that may help save lives of these girls please contact the poli... (read in full...)

I'm worried my PE is stopping me getting a girlfriend....

Q.   Hi there, my friends think I'm too fussy when it comes to girls and they keep telling me that it is the reason as to why I've been single for the last 4 years. This is partly true as I have to admit I am fussy but the main reason that I choose t...

A.   21 September 2009: Sorry are we talking about premature ejaculation or Pulmonary Embolism here? Either way speak to a doctor, PE (embolism) is fatal so I wouldn't worry too much about dating. Premature ejaculation however is treatable and as you haven't dated in 5 ... (read in full...)

Bites? Scabies? Allergic reaction?

Q.   I've recently been waking up with what looks like mosquito bites but i did a little reasearch and i think it might be a dust mite bite but there is 5 of them , I am worried. Is it an allergic reaction? Is it scabies? when i first got bitten it hurt ...

A.   12 September 2009: Yes see a doctor!... (read in full...)

I don't like sex, it's despicable, what do you think?

Q.   I don't like sex, I never have and I don't think I ever will. I'm not asexual, I'm anti-sexual. For me, sex has a negative impact on a relationship not a positive. I think as a man, if you have a sexual relationships with a women they ...

A.   12 September 2009: You won't know until you have tried it's like saying I hate chicken having never tasted it.... But if you don't want sex, don't have sex, and make sure whoever you date knows you aren't into it. If it bothers you see a psychiatrist. ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong for me to get back at her?

Q.   Ok so i havent been here in a long time life has been going good with me lately but now i have a major problem. A month ago or so my cousin came here to cali to live with our aunt so everything was going great with her i was being good with her and ...

A.   12 September 2009: Why ask for advise if you won't take it? P.S I don't approve. ... (read in full...)

Why do they give me their numbers if they don't want me to call?

Q.   Hey I have a big problem..whenever I go clubbing and partying I always get numbers from women. On average I get about 3-5 numbers per night but whenever I call them they usually seem to be more than ready to not talk to me. What's going on here and ...

A.   12 September 2009: You go round pestering drunk girls for their phone numbers and you wonder why when they are sober they don't want to talk? 3-5 girls per night, you sure know how to make a girl feel special don't you? What you are doing is the same as stupid ... (read in full...)

Why do women have checklists for potential boyfriends? Is it all about box ticking?

Q.   Ok so this is really a question for men who have been through the same thing and women who have told a guy this and what it really meant for them. I'm in love with this girl for quite some time now. She is my best friend. So much so that I d...

A.   12 September 2009: I had and many of my friends have check lists of sorts. After a long series of bad relationships you start to realise there are certain things you want from a relationship, and you need to find a partner that meets these requirements. I under... (read in full...)

How do I lose weight quickly and healthily?

Q.   Please help me. I want to lose 1-2 stone in about 2 months because I'm going to college soon and want to be confident by the time I get there. Does anyone know how I can lose it quickly and healthily? I am already keeping my calorie intake to 1200 ...

A.   28 June 2009: Increase your exercise, do more cardio-vascular workouts and speak to your doctor about diet tips.... (read in full...)

Problems with my foreskin...

Q.   Hi I'm 14 and my foreskin only retracts very slightly, you can't even really see the head of the penis. I've read about all of the techniques of fixing this, but I'm worried about doing them because I think I can see a vein or something stuck inside ...

A.   22 June 2009: As a man and a medic I agree with the ladies here: You need to see your doctor ASAP!... (read in full...)

I'm 16, she's 13...is the age gap too big?

Q.   I am 16 and there is a girl who is 13 who really, and I mean really! likes me. I know her best friend and she has explained how much this girl likes me. I know she is only 13 but appears very mature for her age. To begin with I liked her just as a ...

A.   18 June 2009: Well if you can keep your dick in your pants for 3 years, go for it! But I think if you are 16 and not have sexual urges when you are with the girl of your dreams, there maybe something wrong with you. Just my opinion.... (read in full...)

Why are the majority of men bad in bed?

Q.   If all men supposedly view porn (which seems to be the consensus on this site) and it is supposed to give you hints and tips to spice up your sex life (isn't this what all guys say), then why is it the majority of men are crap in bed. This was a ...

A.   18 June 2009: In future then if you want a debate not help, please post in the FORUMS not the help page. The first time I replied was an answer to your false problem, the second was a reply to you once the truth came out and this time as you have directly... (read in full...)

Suspicious of my girlfriend since she had a weekend away

Q.   I don’t trust my girlfriend!? She secretive and gets all defensive if I ask her about things. It never used to be like this. She used to be so open, used to tell me everything, I didn’t need to ask anything. It all changed a few months ago...

A.   18 June 2009: I think you need to meet her "friend" because once you meet him "you will see he isn't a threat at all" I know it's a bit like a dog pissing on a lamp post, but once he actually meets you, you him you can do the whole alpha male sizing each other ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him I kissed another guy when I thought we weren't official?

Q.   I have just started seeing this guy for just about a month, we weren't official and the other week I kissed a guy. didn't enjoy it as thinking shouldn't do this as seeing other guy. Had discussion with the person I'm seeing and we said we are now ...

A.   18 June 2009: No, I wouldn't tell him, unless it was someone he knows, who might actually tell him. Some things are best left unsaid.... (read in full...)

Should I leave her be, or remind her of our times together?

Q.   So yesterday I wrote of my five years coming to a end with a girl I did wrong in ways but she walked out of my life the night before and so I got my first full 24 hours alone! SUCKED SUCKED...So what do I do try and contact her? it angers me when ...

A.   18 June 2009: If reminding her of the times you had together means you become the person she fell in love with again, well it won't hurt, but I agree with StudentofLife if you are going to remind her in any other way, it will only make her realise how much you ... (read in full...)

Taking birth control pills, but worried I'll still get pregnant if he doesn't wear a condom

Q.   Okay so, my boyfriend is coming over tomorrow. He and I used to foreplay and sometimes have sex but it all stopped a few months ago when I got on birth control pills. I don't know why but I Just was never in the mood. The thing is, I've been ...

A.   18 June 2009: Is it illegal to buy condoms if you are 15 in the USA? That's a great way to deal with teenage pregnancy! So where did he get the condoms that were stolen from him? maybe he should go back to the same source! Or he's talking bollocks, tell him... (read in full...)

I'm 16, she's 13...is the age gap too big?

Q.   I am 16 and there is a girl who is 13 who really, and I mean really! likes me. I know her best friend and she has explained how much this girl likes me. I know she is only 13 but appears very mature for her age. To begin with I liked her just as a ...

A.   18 June 2009: She could be as good looking and mature as a 20 year old, but unfortunately she is legally too young for you! If you did anything with this girl (and lets face it your 16 so you are going to want to) you could get arrested for rape. Does this gir... (read in full...)

Anyone with a military loved one overseas?

Q.   Does anyone on this sight have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or spouse or anyone over seas?if so does anyone know when they are demobilizing back here to Illinois? my man is with the 634BSB out of Mattoon illinois. Thankx!...

A.   18 June 2009: OPSEC (Operational Security) Sorry sweetheart even if we knew the dates, we MUST not post them on the internet... You don't want Mr Taliban waiting at the airport with a surface to air missile waiting to blow your marine and his friends out of the ... (read in full...)

Is it safe skipping the pill for 7 days?

Q.   Hiya, i'm on the pill at the moment and due on this weekend but i've got a big weekend planned so i don't want to be on. I've heard that you can skip the 7days of taking no pills but instead just start a new pack and start taking them again straight ...

A.   17 June 2009: The pill is prescribed to be taken in a certain way, if you change the way it is meant to be taken you are messing around with your hormones, so yes you may miss a period but you may also get a heavier period than normal, mood swings, headaches and ... (read in full...)

Worried about Swine Flu, looking for reassurance

Q.   Hey, Alright I know it's near enough impossible that I have it but I'm quite worried now. I read the symptoms for swine flu and I have a few of them, now I know it's more than likely a cold or some sort of flu - or it could maybe be my body rea...

A.   17 June 2009: Can I just stress that anyone who is suffering "Flu like symptoms" to follow my advice below! ... (read in full...)

Why are the majority of men bad in bed?

Q.   If all men supposedly view porn (which seems to be the consensus on this site) and it is supposed to give you hints and tips to spice up your sex life (isn't this what all guys say), then why is it the majority of men are crap in bed. This was a ...

A.   17 June 2009: So your original post was just baiting our aunts here? Well thanks for wasting our time! ... (read in full...)

Why are the majority of men bad in bed?

Q.   If all men supposedly view porn (which seems to be the consensus on this site) and it is supposed to give you hints and tips to spice up your sex life (isn't this what all guys say), then why is it the majority of men are crap in bed. This was a ...

A.   16 June 2009: You've never watched porn have you? It's totally unrealistic and any lover who tries to "act out" porn scenes is more likely just to make his partner uncomfortable. Porn is not there to improve a mans performance in anyway, it's about visual ... (read in full...)

Worried about Swine Flu, looking for reassurance

Q.   Hey, Alright I know it's near enough impossible that I have it but I'm quite worried now. I read the symptoms for swine flu and I have a few of them, now I know it's more than likely a cold or some sort of flu - or it could maybe be my body rea...

A.   16 June 2009: I was wondering when we would get our first swine flu post, if you think there is a chance you have swine flu DO NOT go to your doctor, instead call NHS direct on 0845 46 47 (I know it looks short but that is the number) also check out these ... (read in full...)

Why is it wrong for a man to feel bad about a woman's past?

Q.   Why should a man not care about his woman's sexual past? I don't see anything unreasonable with this. I don't see how many women can understand this from their points of view because let's face it most of the physical activity comes from the m...

A.   16 June 2009: To our OP, if you don't like the answers to your "general question" why not make your post a little more clear. You are bitching that we don't understand you but without more detail we can only read between the lines, and as you can see between the ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to get itchy "down there'' after shaving?

Q.   Ok this isn't really a problem but I just wanted some advice from the gals out there. Is it normal to get really itchy after shaving 'down there' or is it just me? In which case should I use a hair removal cream instead? I could really do with some ...

A.   15 June 2009: Yes it's normal and when hairs start to grow back no matter what you use it will itch a bit. Hygiene is a must make sure you have a hot shower and use a new razor down there, there are plenty of sensitive pre-shave creams and foams on the market s... (read in full...)

Clitoris pain, what could this be?

Q.   So i have a question about the clitoris after oral sex... After the stimulation i know that the clitoris stays a bit swollen and sensitive to touch for a few mins to a few hours...But the problem is now that it has been 2 days since that and my c...

A.   15 June 2009: See a doctor, it could be bruised, strained, or you could have an infection but you will only find out be seeing a doctor.... (read in full...)

I call my ex every time I get drunk to tell her I love her and miss her.

Q.   Hi whenever I go partying with my friends and get drunk I call my now ex girlfriend from about 3 months ago to tell her I love her, and miss her. I don't want to do it. But everytime I drink I think of her and miss those times together. I dont know ...

A.   15 June 2009: Delete her number, and give your phone to a mate to look after when you are out drinking.... (read in full...)

Why is it wrong for a man to feel bad about a woman's past?

Q.   Why should a man not care about his woman's sexual past? I don't see anything unreasonable with this. I don't see how many women can understand this from their points of view because let's face it most of the physical activity comes from the m...

A.   15 June 2009: I think each to their own, if you have a problem with it, well good luck in finding a Nun who is willing to marry you. We all (well most of us) have some kind of past history and everyone is entitled to make mistakes and learn from them, people d... (read in full...)

Can pre-cum make her pregnant?

Q.   my girlfriend says she thinks she is pregnant and she is have all symtoms in after two days it that possible? i didnt cum in her but precumed in her can someone get preg from that? Moderators note - Have re written the question as the spelling...

A.   14 June 2009: To anonymous, what kind of silly thing is it to say someone is too young to ask these questions? Seriously, when should sex education start? ... (read in full...)

Together for 3 years and still no sex, what should I do?

Q.   So I have been dating a girl for almost 3 years. From day one she was against oral sex, which is fine. But I believed that after dating for a while she would be willing to have sex....3 years later an this has not happened yet. Basically, I am ...

A.   14 June 2009: To anonymous it's been TWO YEARS! Not two months, I'm sorry if I think that a lack of intimacy is a deal breaker, but 2 years seriously, I would have binned her after 6 months possibly less. But I understand that we do have a lot of young virgins ... (read in full...)

Together for 3 years and still no sex, what should I do?

Q.   So I have been dating a girl for almost 3 years. From day one she was against oral sex, which is fine. But I believed that after dating for a while she would be willing to have sex....3 years later an this has not happened yet. Basically, I am ...

A.   14 June 2009: I'm going to be blunt, if you are having a great time with each other and no intimacy I would assume you are just best friends! Therefore I would be inclined to go out and try and find a girl who is a bit less uptight about the whole thing. If yo... (read in full...)

Can you get sick or aids from getting a blow job?

Q.   I am sure this question has been asked before, but can you get sick or get AIDS from receiving a blow job? Please help I am freaking out.. ...

A.   14 June 2009: Yes there is a chance that's why we use condoms! http://www.dearcupid.org/question/sti-std-what-are-they-and-how-do.html AIDS is not often spread via the mouth but if they had ulcers, sores or bleeding gums there is a small chance. Go to... (read in full...)

Military relationships, should I dump my boyfriend?

Q.   This is another problem ive got up my sleeve.. Are you guys ready? haha So this boy i've been with for two year as i mentioned in my last post that is kind of a loser... I realized today means nothing at all to mean.. But apparently enough for me to ...

A.   14 June 2009: SY is right, I am a married soldier and my job has to come first, if the army decide (on a friday afternoon)they want me to work the weekend, then I have too, a soldier is paid 24hrs a day 365 days a year, therefore when the army say pack your kit, ... (read in full...)

What is this spotting?

Q.   About a month ago I experienced 'spotting' (bleeding between periods). im on the pill so i went to the doctors and got checked for any possible infections and had none. i am definately not pregnant. it went away when i stopped taking the pill and ...

A.   14 June 2009: Perma-period is common with some OCPs (the pill) if you have been checked out by your doctor and he found nothing then you have nothing to worry about. If it does bother you a lot go back and ask for a different pill.... (read in full...)

Can pre-cum make her pregnant?

Q.   my girlfriend says she thinks she is pregnant and she is have all symtoms in after two days it that possible? i didnt cum in her but precumed in her can someone get preg from that? Moderators note - Have re written the question as the spelling...

A.   14 June 2009: Well this is one those questions where science and evidence contradict each other... Science: there has been lots of research done in labs accross the world and the result is that pre-cum (the clear sticky fluid) cannot cause pregnancy unless, ... (read in full...)

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