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Why do I attract abusive men? My current bf said that I deserve disrespect because I'm not glamorous!

Q.   My boyfriend said I don't deserve to be talked at with respect because I'm not glam. Why do I attract abusive men both my last two boyfriend's have been that way. Verbally and physically....

A.   6 November 2018: I'd guess that you are probably attracted to the type of guy that turns out to be abusive. There's a chance that something about you attracts them too, but the odds seem better the other way. Ideally you could learn what it is and start rejecting ... (read in full...)

I saw a strange number on my husband's phone, called it and a woman answered. Should I confront him about it?

Q.   Hi, I'm needing help on what to do next in my situation . OK, so I checked his phone. But I had to. He's been acting strange lately. I saw a phone number that called him this morning. And the call lasted 23 minutes so he had a conversation...

A.   2 November 2018: You should be able to look up his call history on your cell phone company's website... If you see that number multiple times you know that he's lying, end of story. I woulda try that before calling the number and introducing yourself. If it's the... (read in full...)

Men never notice me, it makes me feel bad.

Q.   I am 23 and I never get hit on, catcalled, approached, or asked out. I've never even had a boyfriend before. My friends seem to get hit on and catcalled and it starts making me feel like I am unattractive. I never thought I was ugly but not getting ...

A.   26 October 2018: Don't judge your looks by the attention you receive... Multiple times I've seen two women together, one gets ignored and the other hit on a few times (at bars or clubs). The ones that get hot on are generally not more attractive, sometime... (read in full...)

Does him not being able to stay hard with me prove he isn’t attracted to me physically?

Q.   I just started seeing this new guy and everything is great. We are able to talk and laugh with each other and just have a good time. He calls me beautiful and sexy and says he likes the way I look. But last night we just tried to have sex for the ...

A.   21 September 2018: It could have been plenty of other reasons, but not being attracted to you is almost certainly not one of them. It was probably more embarrassing for him.... (read in full...)

I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?

Q.   Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...

A.   7 September 2018: Move on and save some money. Don't let her try to talk you out of it, she will likely be manipulative considering she needs your money. Talking care of someone like her is not your job anymore, she's an adult.... (read in full...)

Is she worth pursuing?

Q.   I'm in a really low place right now. I've been dating a girl for the past 4 months ( I'm 30 she's 26) and during the past month she's grown incredibly distant. She only texts me when I text her now, sometimes it takes her days to reply, she never ...

A.   7 September 2018: I don't see a point in persuing her further since this is how it makes you feel to pursue her. Talking doesn't seem to help. It's either not the right time or she's not the right person, but you're obviously barking up the wrong tree. Her words may ... (read in full...)

My husband cheated while we were separated

Q.   Hi, I have been married for 14 years now and have a 11 year old son. I walked out of his home 7 years back when I couldnt get along with his parents and he wasnt ready to live separately with ME. He would come and see me and my son on weekends. But ...

A.   4 September 2018: Who cares about your ridiculous marriage... Let your child see his dad for God's sake! I've never heard such a poor excuse to withhold visitation (he's "confused")!!! It sounds like you're using your son to manipulate your husband. It needs to... (read in full...)

How could my girlfriend move on from a 4 year relationship so quickly and already be with another man?

Q.   Two Weeks ago, my relationship of 4 years ended with my girlfriend. i have been devastated, things have not been good for a while, but i was willing to do whatever it took as i never saw myself being with anyone else. we have not been intimate in ...

A.   1 July 2018: She began moving on awhile ago. That's not to say she has been cheating, although it's likely she has, but mentally she has been checking out of the relationship for awhile now. And that being said, she hasn't moved on yet, that's part of the r... (read in full...)

I planned a trip with friends and now they are going on a day I can't go

Q.   I planned a trip to a theme park and invited a couple of friends. I was excited about this. Then one if those friend's invited another couple of friends. One of those friends can't go on the day I am going, so they are now going on another day that ...

A.   29 June 2018: Unless I missed it, you didn't ask a question, so I'm not sure how to answer. That being said what they did is inconsiderate but it's also their right as free human beings. Maybe you should find new friends.... (read in full...)

Is a B-cup too small?

Q.   Is B-cup too small? Everyone in my family has A-cup boobs, but I am a B-cup. I am not growing anymore, and all my friends and family make fun of me and call me flat. It hurts me a lot. So, on legitimate average? When is a boob size too small, or too ...

A.   22 June 2018: From numerous conversations with other guys I have determined that, for the most part, guys like boobs of all shapes and sizes. Some have a stronger preference for something in particular similar to how done women prefer thin/muscular/short/tall ... (read in full...)

Should I just resign myself to the fact that my looks are going bye bye?

Q.   This isn't a relationship question, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind and heart lately. I know that I'm setting myself up to be judged because I'll be perceived as "vain," or "shallow," but I have a huge dilemma because this is causing my ...

A.   10 June 2018: Lose weight and get in shape. It will do wonders for your self esteem and the amount of attention you receive. Don't go spending a fortune on creams and surgery, one doesn't work, the other makes you look like you've had surgery.... (read in full...)

Should I lie and say the baby is his?

Q.   Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...

A.   28 May 2018: Is it wrong? Do you honestly need someone else to tell you it is very wrong to lie to someone, including your child, about paternity? Don't be selfish; things happen, that's true, but you now have to deal with those things.... (read in full...)

Our teenager's actions are causing problems in our marriage

Q.   I guess what we are experiencing with our 15 year old son is not much different than what every parent of teenagers has been since eternity, but it is still stomping us, and leaving utterly frustrated. Our son has stopped being interested in ...

A.   5 May 2018: I would limit the time you allow him to be online, playing games, and watching TV, until he puts more effort into school. Don't keep doing things that don't work and hurt your relationship with him.... (read in full...)

Am I on my way to being hurt?

Q.   I just turned 40 and I’m divorced. I met a man one day outside and thought him and his friends were trying to rob me (lol) Im a professional, educated woman and I have two sons 20 and 17 one in college and the other on his way in the fall. ...

A.   2 May 2018: First of all, don't listen to code warrior, apparently he's an idiot... There's absolutely no evidence that this guy is a con man, it's laughable that he presents it as fact. Anyways, what's the problem? People from different backgrounds get toge... (read in full...)

Is my time to get pregnat running out?

Q.   Can I have children later on in life? Hello aunts I am turning 32 this year and I have no boyfriend and no prospects. I believe I would like to have children but I always fear time is running out. Honestly I HAVE tried everything in the dating ...

A.   28 April 2018: Where I'm from 32 is not considered old for having kids. I see women in their 40s have kids regularly. The truth is that it's harder on your body and the likelihood of complications does go up, so maybe you should see a doctor about preparing your ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend can't stay hard!

Q.   My boyfriend can't stay hard. The first time me and my boyfriend got intimate physically he avoided intercourse and satisfied me in other ways. However, after multiply attempts to have intercourse he eventually told me that he has a problem doing it...

A.   18 April 2018: Tell him start lifting weights, it helps, along with eating healthy.... (read in full...)

Have I hit my dirty 30's?

Q.   I have recently turned 35, and am wondering, if I have hit my dirty 30s late? I've been horny everyday since I turned 35. ...

A.   31 March 2018: Looks like it. So start enjoying yourself.... (read in full...)

How can I build the sexual tension I need without being labelled a tease?

Q.   I’m currently dating but I’m having a problem with the sexual side of things. Basically, it takes me quite a bit of time to feel ready to have sex with someone. I’m talking about a good few dates to give the sexual tension time to build up and for...

A.   25 March 2018: I think you just don't go home with him or bring him home until you're ready for sex. Kiss a little bit here and there, be flirtatious, and like someone else said, there's nothing wrong about being upfront about wanting to get to know each other a ... (read in full...)

Aren't children supposed to stay near to their family so they can comfort them? Not move far away?

Q.   Ever since I can remember, my daughter, 30, has complained bitterly about the state we raised her in: North Carolina. When the kids were young, we moved our family from North Carolina from Florida for a better life in North Carolina, but she's so ...

A.   25 March 2018: You're complaining about your daughter being selfish, and in the process you're being selfish. Let your daughter do what she needs to do in order to be happy. ... (read in full...)

I think he’s using my pregnancy as an excuse to avoid sex! I feel unwanted and unloved!

Q.   Right now im 3 months pregnant for the first time and it supposed to be a very joyful moment in my life but i feel so lonely and unloved. My husband is happy and excited knowing im pregnant but since then we never had sex. He will reject sex and ...

A.   17 March 2018: Don't take it personal apparently it's pretty common for men to be turned off by sex with a pregnant woman.... (read in full...)

I’m losing hope for finding my match!

Q.   It's been almost about 10 months since my ex and I broke up. It was the most crushing, devastating breakup I'd ever had. I thought we were in love and meant to be. Since then, I've dated around. My past few attempts have all ended badly. Since our...

A.   10 March 2018: 10 months is nothing... The reason nothing is working is because you're trying to much, too fast.... (read in full...)

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Is this old saying true?

Q.   Is it true what they say, that once a cheater, always a cheater? I mean if a wife forgave his husband for having cheated on her for a year and a half, are there chances that after 2 years he will cheat again? What are your thoughts or experiences on ...

A.   10 March 2018: You need to figure out why he cheated. If it was because something was missing in your relationship, than simply and apology and forgiveness won't fix it. Are you paying enough attention to each other's needs? Is here sexually satisfied? ... (read in full...)

He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?

Q.   I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...

A.   11 February 2018: Whatever his reasons are, don't take it personally. Either he has his own issues that have absolutely nothing to do with you (realized he doesn't want a relationship after all, his wife is trying to talk to him again, etc) or possibly he thinks the ... (read in full...)

I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!

Q.   Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...

A.   8 February 2018: Don't overthink it, he's an asshole, and the two of you are not meant to be. Trying to wonder what happened or where things went wrong is as useful as arguing with a crazy person. It's also better to find out now than after you get married. Good ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants a break, what chance is there for us?

Q.   So my girlfriend said she needs space to work out what she wants. Now I know that this isn’t a good thing but is it necessarily a bad thing? Obviously I have agreed to give her space for one week. Two points though do I text her at all to make sure ...

A.   8 February 2018: I've been in your shoes before, and I've seen other people in your shoes before. It's not necessarily a guarantee that your relationship is over but it's likely that it is and this is the easiest way for her to do it If you don't accept it grace... (read in full...)

I don't accept his reasons for not wanting to date me.

Q.   Hi I've been having problems with a guy and I want any advice to understand the way he is acting. I met him online many months ago maybe 5 months ago. It was a dating app so obviously that is the reason people are on there. However he will no...

A.   7 February 2018: I'm sure the other answers already let you have it, but OH MY GOD! He'd be crazy to date you. You have to chill out! Forget about him, next time don't lie, don't make up stories, don't "test" the guy, don't beg, don't manipulate, etc. Instead... (read in full...)

Is "we need to chat" the same as "we need to talk"?

Q.   If someone says ‘we need to chat’ is that different than ‘we need to talk’ or do you think it’s the same thing? ...

A.   6 February 2018: It doesn't really matter unless you plan on avoiding the "chat"for the rest of your life. You might as well find out yourself.... (read in full...)

I have first date jitters, due to my acne! I

Q.   I'm in my mid/late 20s and met a woman off a dating website who seems incredible (she's in her late 20s/early 30s) - we started chatting briefly using the site and found we had a lot in common. We then exchanged numbers and started chatting ...

A.   6 February 2018: All you can do is go and if it's not meant to be it not meant to be. There's a hundred reasons she might like it dislike you, acne is just one. By the way, you may want to look into a ketogenic diet "keto"for treating acne. Apparently it works fo... (read in full...)

I’m confused about my reaction! Am I gay or bi?

Q.   Hey I’m really confused. I regularly go to my local spa. I enjoyed relaxing and speaking to women there. However the other day a guy was next to me in the jacuzzi, and under the bubbles I felt his hand. He was similar age to me around 25-26. I ...

A.   6 February 2018: You are what you are... Almost nobody is 100% straight or gay. Maybe you can explore to find it what you like, but labels don't do you any good.... (read in full...)

How do I manage to become friends with possibly sleazy but otherwise awesome guy?

Q.   So, for more than one year I have this little crush for a guy, he is a good person, I see that he helps people when he can, he is really interesting and I find him very sexy too (but I can totally contain myself) - one thing of this guy, that I felt ...

A.   6 February 2018: Just all him to do something with you. Keep it friendly the whole time and avoid putting yourself in a situation where you may be tempted or he may get the wrong idea. Invite another friend, if possible.. When the "event"is over just call it a nig... (read in full...)

I don't want to give my friend false hope

Q.   Dear all I just need some advice. A good friend of mine told me she had feelings for me last November. I didn't have those feelings so rejected her and she was upset. It was tough for some weeks but eventually she stopped being upset and we seeme...

A.   1 February 2018: I wouldn't block her necessarily, but be clear with her that "no means no"and if she can't handle that you're gone.... (read in full...)

A girl I chatted with online started telling me all of her fetishes. Should I meet her?

Q.   Ok so a few hours ago I started talking to a girl on tinder. Within minutes she started talking in quite sexually explicit terms, mainly centred around her foot fetish. I admit I was intrigued and played along. The conversation moved onto whatsapp, ...

A.   31 January 2018: I'd the stuff she's taking about just isn't for your then tell her you're not interested and move on. I don't think she's going to try to get revenge since you don't have any relationship with her whatsoever. She's just looking for someone ... (read in full...)

My family wants me to forgive our dying father for the abuse but I can't!

Q.   Am I a demon for not caring that my dad is dying from cancer and i want nothin to do with it or him or those who care about it. I've posted about my dad with other accounts which I have deactivated. So I would just give a summary of what he did. ...

A.   31 January 2018: If you've reached the point where you don't care, then you don't care. It's not your job to care about someone who didn't properly care for you. If your family can't understand or doesn't she that's fine, don't cut them off, just tell them you... (read in full...)

Married and seriously falling for my doctor

Q.   I am head over heels for my surgeon. I have been seeing him for about 4-5 months and my feelings keep getting stronger. There was only one time when I thought he might be interested. He told me I had a nice smile and put his hand on my thigh. Since ...

A.   23 January 2018: Thinking you're falling in love with doctors, teachers, etc is so common it's not even unusual. Do you really think it's a good idea to risk your marriage because if a common psychological occurrence? If so, either get a divorce or tell ... (read in full...)

Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...

A.   20 January 2018: Honestly, some of the comments from women about what men think are a little off. Not entirely, but they're generalizations that don't apply to most guys. My opinion is that most guys will try to have sex with you sooner than later. In itself t... (read in full...)

Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...

A.   18 January 2018: He sounds like he's kind of weird. You're trying to figure out what you did and ignoring everything he did wrong.... (read in full...)

I don't feel confident to talk dirty

Q.   How can I feel confident talking sexy with my ldr . He like porn that features lots of mistresses and assertive women and I just dont feel I have the confidence to pull that off. When he asks me to talk sexy I just freeze and can't help feeling very ...

A.   17 January 2018: Instead of trying to think of what to say and feeling odd, assume the role, and put yourself in the shoes of the person you're trying to emulate. For instance if someone asked you to pretend to be a mechanic, instead of stressing out because ... (read in full...)

Is my diet likely to work?

Q.   Hey there folks. I am an unfit teen who is grossly over weight. I have heard about the apple a day thing. Does that work? I do excise Monday-Friday for about 40 mins. My mother has bad very bad eating habits, which I have grown up with and she'll ...

A.   16 January 2018: You should look into the keto diet, or any diet that eliminates processed carbs. If you can eliminate processed carbs your body will convert to using fat for energy instead of carbs. I know a guy who lost more than 100 lbs in a year by doing that ... (read in full...)

Should I confront my soon to be ex husband about his girlfriend from another country?

Q.   Been married 18 years and my husband asked for a divorce 9 months ago. We are both still living in the marital home awaiting property settlement in a few weeks time. The situation is very stressful and toxic for me. We both have lawyers ...

A.   11 January 2018: I, like everyone else, don't see the point.... (read in full...)

Am I right to feel offended by my boss's improper comment?

Q.   Hi.I teach at a higher education institution, where I had an incident with my boss today. While I was having coffee with four colleagues, he told us to not use electric heaters because the central heating system - which has never really worked – was ...

A.   11 January 2018: I just think it's really cool that you had the courage to say something to him. I wish more people felt comfortable saying how they feel. If you became offended by what he said, and he became offended by what you said, it sounds like you both are... (read in full...)

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