Does my ex still care? Why do I shake when I see him?
Q. i was seeing this boy on/off for 2 years, he was my first love...But all he ever done was sleep with other girls, lie and put me down sometimes, but he was still caring and treated me ok i guess. now its been a year and im over him, im now in a ...
A. 17 November 2009: I dont think it means that you 'Love' him still - it could make you so uncomfy that you shake. Or it could be that you shake because subconsciously you remember that he treated you badly but you thought it was 'ok' you guess.
Either way - I think ... (read in full...)
How do I keep myself from contacting him?
Q. Oh help me! He is at it again. How do I keep myself from any contact with him - I think I need to be hospitalized! He is texting me again this morning. About what they are doing and their jobs etc. I think it is a desperate attempt from him ...
A. 2 November 2009: Thanks again - I told him as of Nov 1st I did not want to hear from him at least until after holidays. and to please respect that.
He has both support and custody hearings for his girls in Nov and Dec and I want to know nothing of it and I dont w... (read in full...)
How do I keep myself from contacting him?
Q. Oh help me! He is at it again. How do I keep myself from any contact with him - I think I need to be hospitalized! He is texting me again this morning. About what they are doing and their jobs etc. I think it is a desperate attempt from him ...
A. 30 October 2009: Thanks to you who answered. The HIM is an xbf of 4 yrs. we broke up 6 months ago and he moved a woman into his house. She pays towards bills helps with his kids blah blah blah. I think he only txts because he is not happy. But he wont admit it. Or ... (read in full...)
Please suggest a solution to this! He knows I care about him, he must care about me too, if he keeps in touch, right?
Q. Here I go again. My x bf has been texting me he says we will be "forever friends" but he is living with a woman he met and started seeing when my mother was dying and I couldnt/wouldnt devote 100% of my time to him. He wants to meet up with me ...
A. 27 October 2009: Oh MY! Thanks to all of you who gave me advice!
It is true that I am broken inside. I ended a marriage with an emotionally abuse man after three children when they were old enough that I could get back 2 real work. Then my perfect job ended al... (read in full...)
Could there be legal consenquences for kids watching horror and inappropriate comedy movies?
Q. here is a weird question for the canadian agony uncles and aunts. my buddy shes got a 3 and half yr old son. she also has a 5 yr old daughter. they all love to sit down and watch, i know, this is a shocker! -house of 1000 corpses. amongst other ...
A. 11 October 2009: I have no idea about Canada but here in the US you would most definitely be subject to scrutiny for those movies for children that young as that age cannot understand the concept of 'fake' and the fact that the humor is inappropriate as in adult in ... (read in full...)
Why can't my heart understand what my head does?
Q. I cant get over this HELP! My bf starting seeing someone else when my mother was dying and I was out of town. I know I should not want to be with him and in my head I can see that he was using me and wasnt kind. But I miss the playfulness and sense ...
A. 11 October 2009: Thank you so much for your thoughts. He actually txtd me today to see if I could meet him when he left the house!
Then HE called me and proceeded to tell me about what THEY did last night and that he had to hurry cause THEY all had plans tonight!... (read in full...)
Met him online 6 weeks ago, he wanted to take it slow, didn't know what he wanted and I ended it because I couldnt be just friends. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Dear all, I met this guy online six weeks ago and it went well. We dated but only once a week. We'd call almost every day or every other day. Every time I am at his house we kiss and hug and touch each other but did not have sex. He never...
A. 11 September 2009: I think you are brave and strong and wonderful - not only to yourself but you were also with him.
My opinion is that it just wasnt a match and that he def has some issues with past relationships he was dragging into this.
You followed your gu... (read in full...)
I met a lovely man online, but he messaged my friend telling her he wasn't dating! What do I do?
Q. I meet this man online in July. We corresponded through e-mail for a month and then started dating the first week of August. We have been dating for a month now, a few times a week. I really like him and we always have a good time. We are at the ...
A. 7 September 2009: You can meet nothing good online. He lied. And yes you were lucky it was a friend that he messaged THIS time! I was foolish enough to date a guy who I met in real life who was on dating sites. Guess where he is now? After 4 years of me loving him... (read in full...)
Am I damaged goods?
Q. i don't necessarily agree with this term, but am i 'damaged goods'? i have a short history of 4 relationships that lasted no more than a year each. i remained friends with some of them. i do not have one night stands, and never have. i wish...
A. 6 September 2009: I really feel for you - I perceive the answers that bitterblue and lazyguy gave as right on. I am in the same type of hell and have been in therapy for it. I am trying to get over a 4yr relationship now and in your response you said you recognized ... (read in full...)
Is he trying to replace me?
Q. ok... so my bf has been bugging me for a threesome... i told him i would consider it with a friend... it hasnt happend yet but he is already asking if she has kids and what are their ages... are they boys or girls... should i be freaked out? ...
A. 5 September 2009: Tell him if he wants a threesome - you will get a guy to join you two - that should make him think.
Plus DONT do anything you are not comfy with - is it worth losing a friend over? and a boyfriend? ... (read in full...)
Not even married yet and the sex is gone
Q. I'm sure this is a common problem but I need help, I am deeply in love with my fiance but I do not feel we are sexually compatible. I have all of the sexual energy in the world and he just doesn't, he's not into it and never has new ...
A. 5 September 2009: I would suggest that you do not make plans for the wedding until this is worked out! ... (read in full...)
What to do with ex and sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago. We had been together for almost 4 years. Right away he was with this woman he met on a dating site! All of our neighbors wanted to know what was going on! She started sleeping over just a few days ...
A. 2 July 2009: Thank you for the responses so far! I just am having a difficult time understanding all this. I cant see NOT being with him but the thought of being with him now makes me sick.
You are right no contact is best.
I will try to keep busy - I hav... (read in full...)
For him: oral sex while he watches porn. For me: 3 minutes, no kissing, no passion. Help!
Q. I live with a guy for almost a year we have had are share of troubles. At first he said he didnt love me but he has grow to love me but we never have sex maybe once a month but he always wants me to give him oral sex everyday while he watchs porn. ...
A. 2 July 2009: Dump him - I agree - he doesnt care about YOU at all you are a means to his end - his sex addiction to oral and porn.
You deserve to be treated better than that - The fact that there is no emotion is sad. He said he didnt love you.
How do ... (read in full...)
Why can she do things with others but not with me?
Q. my wife recently got drunk at a party we went to and let another man touch her boobs and take them out of her bra. all this things she has never allowed me to do even when she has got drunk when she is just with me. the lust which i could see in her ...
A. 25 June 2009: I think it is you that has no confidence! How did you two meet? Why did it take so long for her to give you a blow job as a wife when she did it for men in bars?
Something is missing. Did you ever have a great sex life? or has she always been thi... (read in full...)
He says if I don't sleep with him, he won't help with our children
Q. heres the story: about 5 months ago my live-in boyfriend of 5 years left me. He instantly had a gf (which leads me to believe he was seeing her before the break up, altho he denies it) anyway, we keep in touch bc we have to, as we have children ...
A. 22 June 2009: How many and what ages are the kids? Are they his kids? Is there a womanscenter near u? What part of the US do you live in? Unless you are in a very remote area most towns have help for someone in your situation.
I would not want a man like tha... (read in full...)
How could he love me and still be on dating sites?
Q. I just reunited with my ex. We broke up for about a month, during that month it was a back and forth deal, he would text me missing me terribly and vice versa. I can't say what my status is with him right now. He's been on dating sites while we were ...
A. 22 June 2009: Get rid of him and dont look back. I just went thru this with my xbf of 3 yrs. Even my therapist and friends said oh he is just looking. It destroyed my self-esteem, he never cared that it hurt me - he insisted that he loved me. Then my mom got... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being known as 'the slag'! Three months and they still won't drop it!
Q. this is really beginning to upset me now, in march i had a small get together with friends, 8 of my friends came over from college and we got a take away, had alot of alcohol and we danced and sang, it was a great night! when it came to half 1, 2 o ...
A. 21 June 2009: The more you try to defend yourself the longer the rumours will hang on.
Its best to just concentrate on your college, to still attend a party or two - where these two jerks will not be - and not to get drunk.
I applaud you for kicking him out ... (read in full...)
How do I just stop loving this man?!
Q. I have been seeing this man for about 3 yrs and he has lived with me for the past yr and a half he is bipolar and I and having troubles dealing with it I am always telling him im sorry for things that isnt my fault and always treating him as he ...
A. 21 June 2009: There are many kinds lof love. Sometimes we find ourselves with someone we 'love' but it not a healthy relationship.
We stay in it because we have a need to be needed or wanted or want to ease anothers pain.
But he doesnt seem to 'love' you ba... (read in full...)
What is keeping him from meeting me in person?!
Q. i am currently talking to a guy that i met from online chatting. after talking to him for about two weeks, i find out that his good friend knows my best friend at the university that my best friend attends. i like this guy's personality and the way ...
A. 21 June 2009: I agree - I have rarely found that online meetings are of any real benefit when it comes to dating.
If he hasnt wanted to meet you yet I would ask him what the hesitation is or suggest meeting up for a coffee or something.
A friend of mine s... (read in full...)
Why the midnight texts about unrelated issues?
Q. Can anyone pls help me try to figure this out? My ex who I broke up with just a couple of months ago is starting to send me texts again. Two weeks ago, I texted and tried to call him but never got a reply. The purpose of contacting him w...
A. 19 June 2009: I think everyone is right on with the answers to this one! My x kept pulling me back in with refusing to return my things. I just kept at him and ignored the other text this week. He did keep in going for a time I will admit and it was the same ... (read in full...)
I only have a single bed. Will this put her off me?
Q. Hi, I've recently started seeing a lady,(both in our 40's). We have got on well but we are only at the very early stage, a few weeks. I've got a problem....I work and am allocated a private flat as per my contract of employment. When I cam...
A. 19 June 2009: If she cares about you she wont care at all! If it were me I would just accept it and hop in with you. Hey you can have sex anywhere and if you are sleeping in a single bed you are just even closer! Yeh you could let her know the situation but I ... (read in full...)
Why cant I get over him?
Q. i broke up with him around december and to this day i still think of him all the time. i can't get over him. i cry all the time thinking about what we used to be and what i am now. why cant i get over him. he has a new girlfriend and he's happy. so ...
A. 17 June 2009: I am going thru the same thing but it has only been two months. From all I have talked to the best thing is to make a list of the good and bad things in the relationship. You may find that cathartic in that my list had many more negatives than ... (read in full...)
So confused by ex boyfriend's signals.
Q. Help! I have an exbf who keeps texting me to have sex. He is seeing someone else for the past month. I think he was cheating on me before. Anyway, he says he and this woman have just been kissing the whole month. It disgusts me that he is with ...
A. 17 June 2009: Thanks so much for the great advice so far! Wow Girly 123 you took alot of time to spell it all out for me.
Yeh, I guess it doesnt matter what else he has to say to me. There is no going back - he knows he lost a good woman.
It is best if I don... (read in full...)
Ex rings me while on vacation with new g/f
Q. hi all My ex is on holiday with his gf who is pregnent and last nite he rang me and he said are you missing me i repled kinda, but then i asked why he rang me and he said just seeing how you are then as we speak hes texting me. Does anyone think...
A. 13 June 2009: It very well could be control on his part. He is not near to keep an eye on you now that he is away with her. I know it sounds sick but sadly I have been through it not once but twice! He is sick and immature! He is gonna be a father, you are ... (read in full...)
Did I not communicate well enough for him?
Q. Hi, I had met a wonderful guy on line, he is a regional manger, used to travel a lot, finally we got the chance to meet for dinner, before the date he texted me what cuisine that I prefered and he offered to pick me up from my office after wor...
A. 9 June 2009: I think he is all about himself and has low self-esteem and doesnt care what you have to say. That is a big RED FLAG to me. I seriously dont think you can meet ANYONE on the internet and make it work or be safe. I tried. Disaster! Look for someone ... (read in full...)
Why do men not break up with you?
Q. You've helped in the past so here we go again. The NAVY man. I send him texts saying its over, then he reels me back in and i fall for it. Then he ignores my texts over and over again and reels me back in again. Today I told him he was a jerk, bu...
A. 8 June 2009: Oh my! I had just posted on why my x keeps texting me when he is seeing someone else. He too would reel me back in and my friends would get fed up with me.
I would say harsh things to him and break up he would ignore my hurt and then wait and pull... (read in full...)
My wife has doubled in size, I've lost interest in sex..do I leave her to get her to get in shape?
Q. When I proposed to my wife she was 5' and a perfect size zero. She had lovely long hair and walked like a graceful lady. Exactly my type. Now after 15 yrs of marriage she's a size 14-16 w/ short hair and walks like a chimp. Doubling her weight ...
A. 6 June 2009: I suggest that you see her as the lovely woman you married and treat her as such and I bet that she will want to lose the weight to please herself.
I just found out my boyfriend of 3 yrs was cheating on me. When I met him I weighed 125. Now I we... (read in full...)
He isn't there for me when I need him but I'm always there for him... what do I do?
Q. Please Help Me! I broke up with my bf two weeks ago after he asked me for money and said he wouldnt talk to me. My mother passed away a few days later. I didnt contact him to tell him because he has never been there when I needed him only when he ...
A. 16 May 2009: Thank you for the advice! When I read thru it it seems obvious but when I look out my window and can see his house and know his schedule it is tough. I keep wondering what is he doing now. His lites are on and he doesnt have his kids this weekend. I ... (read in full...)
I am dating a man, who is ten years my junior, he just got custody of his two undisciplined pre-school kids, I try to help him with them, he also wants me to pay some of his bills, I feel I am being taken advantage of, please give me some advice?
Q. Hi, please help, im dating a man that just got custody of his 2 kids, they are both preschoolers. The mom died. We had been dating almost 3 months when this happened. We were living in different cities and now he moved to my city. The kids are ...
A. 17 September 2008: For the children the loss of their mother has to be a stressor and for him also - I dont have enough info as to their relationship before she died and at the time of her death to offer more on that. How YOU feel though seems right on target. ... (read in full...)
Is anyone else just as afraid to be alone?
Q. Here I am again - I thought I was making progress and I know that the boyfriend is NO GOOD for me and I deserve better so why do I still want to get attention from him? He makes me sick! Like last night he said he would call back and he didnt the...
A. 28 August 2008: Thanks to all who responded - I just got a chance to check mail but will post another question....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts...would you say I was over-reacting?
Q. Please help! I don't trust my own judgment because I have anxiety/depression and take meds. I have a b/f who I have been seeing for about three yrs - All my friends say he is using me - I have decorated and remodelled his house, landscaped...
A. 10 May 2008: I am not sure if he will get violent - he most likely will tell everyone what a nut I am. Most of his neighbors know me better than that and dont get along with him actually -
I am sure his mother will have something to say - I did talk to his e... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he care about my family's health, or is it just a 'guy thing' to have no feelings?
Q. Hi, I'm getting married in about a month but I have a question. I'm wondering if my fiance is just very insensitive or if it is just a guy thing. A few years ago (during the first year that we were dating) my mother was in the hospital for s...
A. 9 May 2008: Mistake to marry I think - He has no compassion for you - your family? What about his family? Have you met them? How does he treat his mother? His sisters?
You may want to take another look at this engagement - I suspect he is either emotiona... (read in full...)
I feel there are three people in this marrage: my husband, I, the wife and his ex girlfriend! Am I overreacting?
Q. I have been married for over a year now. my husband has become distant in our relationship. I recently found a bill with calls and texts to one number on a daily basis, ranging from one up to six times a day for the last 3 months. I confronted my h...
A. 2 May 2008: I wouldnt attack him with any more questions. I would flatly state that he should have no further contact with her then say unless he introduces her to you - that way you may be of some help to her from a womans point of view to learn the area - ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend introduce me to people?
Q. My b/f frequently fails to introduce me to women we bump into, that he knows personally. This makes me feel like he's embarrassed to be with me or he's trying to play down the fact that we're involved. He says it's because some people aren't ...
A. 2 May 2008: Wow! Oldersister! I think you got it just right! I too wondered why my guy did this to me - Now I realize - that is very interesting and I believe very correct! He is hiding something for sure - ... (read in full...)
When do you give up? Am I over-reacting?
Q. Help! I take psych medications for depression and anxiety so I dont always know if I am overreacting to something or getting being too nice and always question myself. So I am please asking for advice I am so angry and hurt! My bf of almost three ...
A. 1 May 2008: Wow! Thank you all so much for your very wise and thought out responses - It is such a comfort to have found this site and all of you great and giving people!
- I have spent much of the day thinking about the wasted time and feeling bad about it... (read in full...)
My fiance says because I'm so controlling, I'm making him the way he is. Is he letting go of our relationship?
Q. Help! I've been with my fiance for 4yrs, we've had bad times, he used to be a bad gambler, and I had to take control of his money to help pay his debts so he had no money to gamble with. luckily this worked and he hasn't gambled for a year. we s...
A. 28 April 2008: If you have been engaged for four years what type of 'private' life does he think he needs? Umm He is in a relationship with YOU - I am not sure from what you wrote...did you take control of the money or did you do it together? Did he ask you to ... (read in full...)
I am getting back into the dating scene after a divorce. How can I ever trust men again?
Q. I am a 34 year old nurse who divorced her husband just last year. Over the past couple of months, I have been trying to re-enter the dating scene. I joined a dating site and went on a couple of dull dates. Then, almost three weeks ago, I finally ...
A. 28 April 2008: I would say that dating men that advertise themselves on dating sites is not a good way to meet the right man - I have come to the conclusion also that those who need to to meet people this way are desperate as for any woman who does the same. When ... (read in full...)
Does age matter for sex?
Q. Last night I experienced the pleasure of deflowering a young lady aged 18.I felt 20 years younger!! We're mutually keen on having regular sexual intercourse from now on-particularly as neither of us has any ties. Does the age gap matter since our...
A. 28 April 2008: I dont think that age matters for sex if you are over eighteen but maturity and being on equal footing in the expectation of the relationship is important - I agree that if she only wanted sex she could get it with guys her own age - I am not sure ... (read in full...)
I deleted his porn and now he wants a divorce!
Q. Our sex life is not normal, he watches porn (as he says rarely and not an addict). He has a huge porn collection of DVDs, webcam recordings, photos, downloaded porn. He went on a trip with his college friends and I found a receipt that he renewed ...
A. 28 April 2008: I agree with the female reader that says he is selfish - I would prepare for the inevitable - You are better than this - You have tried to talk to him about it before, he is crushing your self-esteem but what worries me most is that he has no pics ... (read in full...)
I can't say NO to her. I want to make her happy even if I am not. How do we untangle this mess?.
Q. In the past ten years I can only think of only two time that I have been happy. The first time was when I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I served in Iraq from the start until June 2003(being a senior unit and having been stateside for one month out ...
A. 28 April 2008: I am sad to hear of all your unhappiness - You say you have been much happier with her but I dont read it that way - Sometimes you can love someone and they not be right for marriage with you - I agree that marriage is a family proposition - I dont ... (read in full...)
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