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*hil052

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I'm having an affair wih my fiance's best friend.

Q.   I’m engaged due to be married September, I’ve started having an affair with one of his best friends. Now I don’t know whether I love his best friend. He’s asked me to not get married. My fiancé is a good man great father and stable. His frien...

A.   13 April 2018: Don't get married, it's not going to work out. And it is probably best to end the affair too.... (read in full...)

Why do I always lose sexual interest with partners?

Q.   Hey all, bit of a weird one but I didn't know if anyone could give me advice. When I'm in a new relationship, or hooking up with someone, I feel very sexual and enjoy having sex. This tends to carry on for a few weeks, sometimes months - but one...

A.   15 March 2018: It could just be an age thing, you haven't found the right person yet, so you have relationships but they reach a point where they run their course. I wouldn't worry too much about it, it's a fairly common thing for people in their early 20s (me ... (read in full...)

Should I message him again? Is this a technical issue?

Q.   Can someone please help me with a technical issue to do with text messaging? A man who is now an ex work colleague and who I am certain really likes me, but who knows I've recently had a very difficult time, let me know that he would like to se...

A.   15 February 2018: I'd like to help but I didn't understand any of that!... (read in full...)

I’m confused about my reaction! Am I gay or bi?

Q.   Hey I’m really confused. I regularly go to my local spa. I enjoyed relaxing and speaking to women there. However the other day a guy was next to me in the jacuzzi, and under the bubbles I felt his hand. He was similar age to me around 25-26. I ...

A.   7 February 2018: You're young and exploring your sexuality, and you liked the encounter you had with this man. That's fine, we are all complex sexual creatures! Just take time to decide what you like, it may well be that you like both men and women sexually!... (read in full...)

He thinks I am sick and twisted when I ask about hi past, we have no interesting conversation, its just boring.

Q.   Hi ,I have been dating this guy for 4 wks seeing him 2-3 times a wk .. meals out , walks in park etc but I feel bored already because he has told me not to ask about the past and he never asks me anything so our conversation is pretty standard ...

A.   7 February 2018: I'm confused, you say 'I feel bored already' and then you say 'when we are together we are great'. Is it boring or great? Or a bit of both? He obviously feels he doesn't know you well enough to open up about his past, so let it go for a bit and ... (read in full...)

Exams and dating are conflicting

Q.   I know this guy who's 2 years older than me. We used to hang out while doing projects and event planning but recently I stepped away from all that because my GCSEs are this year. I need to take some time off. Earlier this year he had asked to meet ...

A.   26 January 2018: I think you are right to concentrate on your exams this year. A relationship at your age can be a huge distraction. Once your exams are over, you can see if he is still interested, or look for someone else. My son is the same age as you and he is ... (read in full...)

He is very confused, should I give up?

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old homosexual guy. two months ago I met a guy on Skype (who lives not so away from me). At first we talked like friends, but then we started flirting and now it seems that we like each other very much. we talk on Skype...

A.   26 January 2018: I think you have to move on. He is a gay man who cannot openly be a gay man because of family and cultural expectations, which is sad. This is why he is making excuses. It is not a reflection on you, it is his background which is stopping him living ... (read in full...)

My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?

Q.   I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...

A.   26 January 2018: Totally unprofessional behaviour in my view, and I would be surprised if this is the first time he has done this. It is likely to continue until someone reports him.... (read in full...)

Should I tell my fiance about my fantasy of letting him have sex with others?

Q.   Hello. I have a 35 year old boyfriend he is very handsome and active. He looks younger than his age which is a bonus. I love him so much and we have great sex since day one. He has introduced me to his family and friends and recently we got engaged. ...

A.   26 January 2018: I think you should tread carefully. However, we all have our fantasies and this is quite a common one, especially for men who are turned on by the thought of their wives/girlfriends having sex with other men. I think the best approach is to bring... (read in full...)

Why send me a video of his girlfriend?

Q.   My to be ex husband sent me his intimate vdo of him with his girlfriend. After we have been talking about divorce for these past years. We have been lived in 2 different countries though. So he sent me that last week, saying I should know and he ...

A.   16 January 2018: Look at the positive, it confirms how lucky you are to be out of this relationship! I just feel sorry for his new woman. Very best wishes to you for the future!... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants sex on demand, what about what I want?

Q.   I love my boyfriend we been together nearly a year but he always wants sex in the morning and I just don't and if I don't have it when he wants he gets into a strop all day and just walks off and if we go out he will just walk miles in front of me ...

A.   3 January 2018: He sounds like a spoilt brat who expects a woman to meet his every desire, irrespective of your own needs and desires. You will need to stand up to him and hold your ground, and if he doesn't like it, find a man who loves you and respects you.... (read in full...)

My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking

Q.   We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...

A.   3 January 2018: I wouldn't worry about this. The other men are only looking, but you get to enjoy your wife fully! My own wife chooses to keep her bikini top on, but it wouldn't worry me if she wanted to go topless.... (read in full...)

Just lost a parent and he’s gone away. Should I break up with him for this?

Q.   Hi All, Just looking for some advice at what is already a confusing and low time. I’ve just lost a very close family member, a parent and I feel like my partner hasn’t been as supportive as he could. I’m not taking it well at all. We were very clo...

A.   11 December 2017: I would tell him that you have been really disappointed with his lack of support. I think he has deliberately spent time with his own family because he doesn't know how help you. He effectively ran away from a difficult situation. I would see if he ... (read in full...)

Do I tell my girlfriend about an unwanted kiss?

Q.   Hi I am a male aged 25 , I have been with my gf for almost 2 years , I am studying abroad so we are in a LDR for like a year , yesterday I went out and I was with my friend there and he talked to a girl and I was his wingman and started talking with ...

A.   11 December 2017: No, you've done nothing wrong, you didn't initiate this kiss, so there is nothing to explain or apologise for. I would simply forget about this episode, your girlfriend has a good man!... (read in full...)

Feeling guilty I missed hen do

Q.   Hi everyone. I'm having a friendship dilemma. A close friend is no longer speaking to me because I didn't attend her hen do. I declined months prior due to the dates not being good for me - it's a month of birthdays and prior planned trips. ...

A.   11 December 2017: It would be a bit odd if you helped to plan a trip you weren't actually going on! I think your friend is being unreasonable and is disappointed you didn't go, buyout had good reasons. You can explain again why you had to miss the trip but it is up ... (read in full...)

I need a plan to win her back

Q.   i need help getting my ex back. we broke up december 2016. here's the brief history: we met 3 years ago. her and i started dating in october 2016. our relationship was absolutely wonderful! however, things started going downhill shortly a...

A.   6 December 2017: It may be that she only sees you as a friend, so be aware that getting fully back together may not be what she wants. Take it slowly, get to know her and don't put any pressure on, would be my advice.... (read in full...)

Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?

Q.   Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...

A.   23 November 2017: This Is such good news and a great opportunity for you! I wish you all the best in the job, and finding somewhere to live!... (read in full...)

Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?

Q.   Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...

A.   15 November 2017: I definitely think you should do it. You had a positive and uplifting experience and a thank you note will be a good way to keep you in their minds should an opportunity arise! So pleased you had this experience and it shows your talent in this ... (read in full...)

Are boxers not for everyone?

Q.   I've read that wearing boxers is better than briefs but how do other guys out there hide their erections in these things? I get easily aroused and sometimes get boners even when I'm not not excited... And it clearly juts out of my pants. Are boxers ...

A.   13 November 2017: I think it is fair to say that an erection is more noticeable in boxers!... (read in full...)

How do I tell guys I'm autisttic?

Q.   i will jump straight in. I am autistic which is great, use to as a child find it a curse but as an adult truly get to see the beauty of the world. what i mean by this is i could be walking in the forest and i could stop and hug a tree or even lic...

A.   2 November 2017: My son, 18, has ASD. I think it is best to be open and honest. Some men will run a mile, but that tells you straight away the type of person they are, so that's an advantage! A man who understands and is still interested is what you are looking for, ... (read in full...)

This woman is getting close on the train!

Q.   I catch the busy train to work in Tokyo everyday and there is this cute younger lady who gets on along the way. I am usually standing near the door anyway but somehow she seems to find her way in front of me so we are hugged and crushed together. We ...

A.   18 October 2017: Well, it does seem that she is giving some quite obvious signals! It is probably time to talk to her! Good luck!... (read in full...)

What should I do about feeling inadequate?

Q.   First off, this is quite the premature question, but tonight, its all I can think about. A year ago, I had to escape a mentally, physically, sexually, and verbally abusive relationship. It was difficult to say the least. A few months after we ...

A.   18 October 2017: You are good enough for this man! Your feelings of inadequacy come because you have been dragged down by your abusive ex husband. It will take time to regain your confidence from such an awful experience. Just take things slowly, and enjoy being ... (read in full...)

Does looking at nudes lead to objectifying women?

Q.   I understand how wrong it is to regard people as objects. That's why I never stare at hot girls on the street, talk about their bodies or "hit on" them. But privately, I am curious about the female shape (being very inexperienced and never had a ...

A.   6 October 2017: Thanks for your follow up. I think it is fair to say that women who pose naked for magazines or online are well aware that men are going to look at them, get hard and masturbate to them.... (read in full...)

Does looking at nudes lead to objectifying women?

Q.   I understand how wrong it is to regard people as objects. That's why I never stare at hot girls on the street, talk about their bodies or "hit on" them. But privately, I am curious about the female shape (being very inexperienced and never had a ...

A.   5 October 2017: I think when you are young and inexperienced with women, but your hormones are surging, it is normal to be interested in women both as people and their physical beauty. Let's be honest, all straight men enjoy looking at pictures of beautiful naked ... (read in full...)

How to come to terms with my academic failure?

Q.   So basically, I've spent the past two years working towards my masters degree as well as working full time. Up until this summer I've been doing really well (average grade 75, on track for a distinction), only to choke in my last few months and ...

A.   4 October 2017: Whilst you are being hard on yourself for struggling with the pressure of getting your studies completed, I read it and was full of admiration and respect for someone who combined working full-time with studying for a masters degree. How many people ... (read in full...)

Will men care if I live at home?

Q.   Will men care if I don't have my own place? I am 31 years old and I have been hit with a financial hardship in life at the moment. For the first time in my life I am trying to not care what people think and focus on solving my financial situation ...

A.   2 October 2017: If a man cares about this, given your present difficult circumstances, then you are better off without them! It shouldn't be an important consideration at all, the only important thing is whether you like each other or not. I hope things improve for ... (read in full...)

Long distance boyfriend is asking for naked pictures, should I trust him?

Q.   Hi there friends...I really need your advice.. I have a long distance relationship and know for a year.we don't meet yet and we both christian born again... and I dont want this guy to entertain but he was keep in contact with me even if j don't....

A.   28 September 2017: Don't do it! The photos could end up anywhere!... (read in full...)

I'm a 27 year old virgin who just wants to be loved..

Q.   Hi I'm just looking for advice I'm a 27 year old female and I have never been in a relationship I'm also a Virgin. I just seem invisible to men or only the wrong ones I'm at the age all my friends are settled down and having babies and I can't help ...

A.   20 September 2017: I agree with previous posters. Get out and meet lots of new people. It's the only way of meeting someone you really want, and who wants you. You are still young so plenty of time, but some proactive work will hopefully pay dividends! I wish you all ... (read in full...)

I'm worried my boyfriend is stealing from me.

Q.   Hi, I really need some advice - I've been in a very happy relationship for over six months now. My boyfriend is very loving and caring, and we've never even had an argument - we just seem very in tune with one another. But something odd happ...

A.   18 September 2017: I think you need to tread carefully, as you are not 100% sure the money was there. You could say something like 'I thought I had left some money here, but I can't find it' to see if he responds. Or you could put some more money in the same place to ... (read in full...)

Is my husband bisexual, I see he's been looking at gay porn!

Q.   I found my husband has been looking at gay porn. He also looks at regular porn... more than the gay. The regular doesn't bother me, I'm open to a lot but this has me totally freaked! Is he bi? Is there anyway a straight man would view this? Please ...

A.   15 September 2017: Sexuality is fluid, there is a whole spectrum of behaviours and desires out there. It's not black and white - straight or gay or bisexual. He may well be bi-curious, but this doesn't mean he is going to act on his curiosity. If you are going to ask ... (read in full...)

Husband has changed after marriage, is aggressive in bed and demands rough anal sex. How do I fix things?

Q.   Hi was looking for some advice. My husband has changed since we got married he, he became really fussy about everything I do and he's quite aggressive when it comes to being intimate. Nothing I ever do is right or good enough for him anymore. I ...

A.   14 September 2017: How awful for you. He seems to have decided he can do what he likes, now you are married. Only you can change things by telling him you don't want to do the things he wants you to do. Only you can tell him that you don't like the person he has ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to draw a line under this?

Q.   I was dating a guy for almost two years and in March of this year my father got really sick from cancer. He passed away sadly at the end of April. The guy I was with was a complete ass towards me when my father had passed away. And during April I ...

A.   13 September 2017: Absolutely not. He let you down when your dad died. He let you down when you were supposedly getting married (except that he has actually done you a huge favour there). You owe this 'man' nothing and it would be a big mistake (in my opinion) to let ... (read in full...)

How do I find some interesting dates?

Q.   I went on a date recently. I had loads of interests in common, he was attractive and he has a stable job. We have a second date. There is only one problem I found him a little boring but I find this is my fault as I normally find people boring ...

A.   13 September 2017: I don't think there is an easy answer to this one! It's difficult meeting new people as it is unusual to find yourself clicking with people from Day One. Small talk gets people talking but 'big talk' can be disastrous too, as you might find you hold ... (read in full...)

My long distance boyfriend is a bad communicator.

Q.   I have been dating a guy for about 7 months. We started out as friends and had known each other for about 4 years, and then began dating. We started out dating close proximity, but then due to work and school, were forced to become long distance. We ...

A.   12 September 2017: Am I being too clingy? In my opinion, yes. He's not one for small talk, so don't try to change him, otherwise he will resent you.... (read in full...)

Am I asking too much of men to want the same things that I want?

Q.   As an almost fifty yr old woman is it unreasonable to want men I dare to have a wide taste in porn that includes mature women like myself and not just the cookie cutter young slim perfectt woman As I've gotten older my taste In men has matured ...

A.   31 August 2017: I'm the same as Code Warrior, I'm in my early 50s and married, but if I was single I would be looking for a woman of my own age (45-55) as I can relate better to people of my age and older women are so hot! You obviously have a lot to give the right ... (read in full...)

Men never hit on me

Q.   I am 22 and I never had a bf before or ever dated. Guys never approach me for dates and never even approach me even for sex (so I guess that makes me a virgin also). I am also never hit on by guys or had a guy say he wants my number. I am 5'4 and ...

A.   31 August 2017: My advice would be to join social clubs, societies etc where there will be single men and get to know them as people. I think there is far more chance of meeting someone that way compared to in a shopping mall or coffee shop. Online dating is also ... (read in full...)

My partner shows little empathy when I am upset

Q.   My brother died in a bike accident and the third year anniversary is next week. I dread this time of year. My mum is still heartbroken. My partner shows he cares through practical things like cooking a meal or walking my dog. I am tactile, warm and ...

A.   8 August 2017: I don't think he is a bad person, I just don't think he knows how to handle this difficult emotional situation. He doesn't know how to talk about your brother and he's not sure of the support you need. It may be a situation where you need to get ... (read in full...)

His demands seem unreasonable. Am I being foolish?

Q.   I have had a boyfriend for a long time and its got so he always wants back rubs and oral sexs all the time. I have told him that I do not want to do that without a condom. He prefers no condom. However for health issues I only do oral and other ...

A.   31 July 2017: I have to say I am amazed you are still with this man, who uses you for his own gratification only. You deserve so much better, but only you can change things.... (read in full...)

Our sex life has declined. How normal is this?

Q.   Hi everyone me and my fiance have been together nearly 4 year but lately our sex life has became non existant. im this normal? I'm lucky if it's once a week. we have just came back from a week's holiday and didn't have sex at all while we were ...

A.   31 July 2017: I would say for a couple in their early 30s to go on holiday for a week and not have sex is unusual, especially as it sounds like you do normally have sex once a week, it's not as if it has stopped altogether, despite you claiming it is ... (read in full...)

First time sex was a disaster!

Q.   I tried sex for the first time I really like the guy and I really did want it, but when it came to it, it didn't feel good. First he wouldn't fit into me, then he started touching me which I barely felt and when he was finally inside me I didn't f...

A.   26 July 2017: Don't worry too much! Try again. Hopefully things will improve once you have got to know each other's desires and needs better. The key is communication.... (read in full...)

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