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*hil052

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Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?

Q.   Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...

A.   23 November 2017: This Is such good news and a great opportunity for you! I wish you all the best in the job, and finding somewhere to live!... (read in full...)

Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?

Q.   Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...

A.   15 November 2017: I definitely think you should do it. You had a positive and uplifting experience and a thank you note will be a good way to keep you in their minds should an opportunity arise! So pleased you had this experience and it shows your talent in this ... (read in full...)

Are boxers not for everyone?

Q.   I've read that wearing boxers is better than briefs but how do other guys out there hide their erections in these things? I get easily aroused and sometimes get boners even when I'm not not excited... And it clearly juts out of my pants. Are boxers ...

A.   13 November 2017: I think it is fair to say that an erection is more noticeable in boxers!... (read in full...)

How do I tell guys I'm autisttic?

Q.   i will jump straight in. I am autistic which is great, use to as a child find it a curse but as an adult truly get to see the beauty of the world. what i mean by this is i could be walking in the forest and i could stop and hug a tree or even lic...

A.   2 November 2017: My son, 18, has ASD. I think it is best to be open and honest. Some men will run a mile, but that tells you straight away the type of person they are, so that's an advantage! A man who understands and is still interested is what you are looking for, ... (read in full...)

This woman is getting close on the train!

Q.   I catch the busy train to work in Tokyo everyday and there is this cute younger lady who gets on along the way. I am usually standing near the door anyway but somehow she seems to find her way in front of me so we are hugged and crushed together. We ...

A.   18 October 2017: Well, it does seem that she is giving some quite obvious signals! It is probably time to talk to her! Good luck!... (read in full...)

What should I do about feeling inadequate?

Q.   First off, this is quite the premature question, but tonight, its all I can think about. A year ago, I had to escape a mentally, physically, sexually, and verbally abusive relationship. It was difficult to say the least. A few months after we ...

A.   18 October 2017: You are good enough for this man! Your feelings of inadequacy come because you have been dragged down by your abusive ex husband. It will take time to regain your confidence from such an awful experience. Just take things slowly, and enjoy being ... (read in full...)

Does looking at nudes lead to objectifying women?

Q.   I understand how wrong it is to regard people as objects. That's why I never stare at hot girls on the street, talk about their bodies or "hit on" them. But privately, I am curious about the female shape (being very inexperienced and never had a ...

A.   6 October 2017: Thanks for your follow up. I think it is fair to say that women who pose naked for magazines or online are well aware that men are going to look at them, get hard and masturbate to them.... (read in full...)

Does looking at nudes lead to objectifying women?

Q.   I understand how wrong it is to regard people as objects. That's why I never stare at hot girls on the street, talk about their bodies or "hit on" them. But privately, I am curious about the female shape (being very inexperienced and never had a ...

A.   5 October 2017: I think when you are young and inexperienced with women, but your hormones are surging, it is normal to be interested in women both as people and their physical beauty. Let's be honest, all straight men enjoy looking at pictures of beautiful naked ... (read in full...)

How to come to terms with my academic failure?

Q.   So basically, I've spent the past two years working towards my masters degree as well as working full time. Up until this summer I've been doing really well (average grade 75, on track for a distinction), only to choke in my last few months and ...

A.   4 October 2017: Whilst you are being hard on yourself for struggling with the pressure of getting your studies completed, I read it and was full of admiration and respect for someone who combined working full-time with studying for a masters degree. How many people ... (read in full...)

Will men care if I live at home?

Q.   Will men care if I don't have my own place? I am 31 years old and I have been hit with a financial hardship in life at the moment. For the first time in my life I am trying to not care what people think and focus on solving my financial situation ...

A.   2 October 2017: If a man cares about this, given your present difficult circumstances, then you are better off without them! It shouldn't be an important consideration at all, the only important thing is whether you like each other or not. I hope things improve for ... (read in full...)

Long distance boyfriend is asking for naked pictures, should I trust him?

Q.   Hi there friends...I really need your advice.. I have a long distance relationship and know for a year.we don't meet yet and we both christian born again... and I dont want this guy to entertain but he was keep in contact with me even if j don't....

A.   28 September 2017: Don't do it! The photos could end up anywhere!... (read in full...)

I'm a 27 year old virgin who just wants to be loved..

Q.   Hi I'm just looking for advice I'm a 27 year old female and I have never been in a relationship I'm also a Virgin. I just seem invisible to men or only the wrong ones I'm at the age all my friends are settled down and having babies and I can't help ...

A.   20 September 2017: I agree with previous posters. Get out and meet lots of new people. It's the only way of meeting someone you really want, and who wants you. You are still young so plenty of time, but some proactive work will hopefully pay dividends! I wish you all ... (read in full...)

I'm worried my boyfriend is stealing from me.

Q.   Hi, I really need some advice - I've been in a very happy relationship for over six months now. My boyfriend is very loving and caring, and we've never even had an argument - we just seem very in tune with one another. But something odd happ...

A.   18 September 2017: I think you need to tread carefully, as you are not 100% sure the money was there. You could say something like 'I thought I had left some money here, but I can't find it' to see if he responds. Or you could put some more money in the same place to ... (read in full...)

Is my husband bisexual, I see he's been looking at gay porn!

Q.   I found my husband has been looking at gay porn. He also looks at regular porn... more than the gay. The regular doesn't bother me, I'm open to a lot but this has me totally freaked! Is he bi? Is there anyway a straight man would view this? Please ...

A.   15 September 2017: Sexuality is fluid, there is a whole spectrum of behaviours and desires out there. It's not black and white - straight or gay or bisexual. He may well be bi-curious, but this doesn't mean he is going to act on his curiosity. If you are going to ask ... (read in full...)

Husband has changed after marriage, is aggressive in bed and demands rough anal sex. How do I fix things?

Q.   Hi was looking for some advice. My husband has changed since we got married he, he became really fussy about everything I do and he's quite aggressive when it comes to being intimate. Nothing I ever do is right or good enough for him anymore. I ...

A.   14 September 2017: How awful for you. He seems to have decided he can do what he likes, now you are married. Only you can change things by telling him you don't want to do the things he wants you to do. Only you can tell him that you don't like the person he has ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to draw a line under this?

Q.   I was dating a guy for almost two years and in March of this year my father got really sick from cancer. He passed away sadly at the end of April. The guy I was with was a complete ass towards me when my father had passed away. And during April I ...

A.   13 September 2017: Absolutely not. He let you down when your dad died. He let you down when you were supposedly getting married (except that he has actually done you a huge favour there). You owe this 'man' nothing and it would be a big mistake (in my opinion) to let ... (read in full...)

How do I find some interesting dates?

Q.   I went on a date recently. I had loads of interests in common, he was attractive and he has a stable job. We have a second date. There is only one problem I found him a little boring but I find this is my fault as I normally find people boring ...

A.   13 September 2017: I don't think there is an easy answer to this one! It's difficult meeting new people as it is unusual to find yourself clicking with people from Day One. Small talk gets people talking but 'big talk' can be disastrous too, as you might find you hold ... (read in full...)

My long distance boyfriend is a bad communicator.

Q.   I have been dating a guy for about 7 months. We started out as friends and had known each other for about 4 years, and then began dating. We started out dating close proximity, but then due to work and school, were forced to become long distance. We ...

A.   12 September 2017: Am I being too clingy? In my opinion, yes. He's not one for small talk, so don't try to change him, otherwise he will resent you.... (read in full...)

Am I asking too much of men to want the same things that I want?

Q.   As an almost fifty yr old woman is it unreasonable to want men I dare to have a wide taste in porn that includes mature women like myself and not just the cookie cutter young slim perfectt woman As I've gotten older my taste In men has matured ...

A.   31 August 2017: I'm the same as Code Warrior, I'm in my early 50s and married, but if I was single I would be looking for a woman of my own age (45-55) as I can relate better to people of my age and older women are so hot! You obviously have a lot to give the right ... (read in full...)

Men never hit on me

Q.   I am 22 and I never had a bf before or ever dated. Guys never approach me for dates and never even approach me even for sex (so I guess that makes me a virgin also). I am also never hit on by guys or had a guy say he wants my number. I am 5'4 and ...

A.   31 August 2017: My advice would be to join social clubs, societies etc where there will be single men and get to know them as people. I think there is far more chance of meeting someone that way compared to in a shopping mall or coffee shop. Online dating is also ... (read in full...)

My partner shows little empathy when I am upset

Q.   My brother died in a bike accident and the third year anniversary is next week. I dread this time of year. My mum is still heartbroken. My partner shows he cares through practical things like cooking a meal or walking my dog. I am tactile, warm and ...

A.   8 August 2017: I don't think he is a bad person, I just don't think he knows how to handle this difficult emotional situation. He doesn't know how to talk about your brother and he's not sure of the support you need. It may be a situation where you need to get ... (read in full...)

His demands seem unreasonable. Am I being foolish?

Q.   I have had a boyfriend for a long time and its got so he always wants back rubs and oral sexs all the time. I have told him that I do not want to do that without a condom. He prefers no condom. However for health issues I only do oral and other ...

A.   31 July 2017: I have to say I am amazed you are still with this man, who uses you for his own gratification only. You deserve so much better, but only you can change things.... (read in full...)

Our sex life has declined. How normal is this?

Q.   Hi everyone me and my fiance have been together nearly 4 year but lately our sex life has became non existant. im this normal? I'm lucky if it's once a week. we have just came back from a week's holiday and didn't have sex at all while we were ...

A.   31 July 2017: I would say for a couple in their early 30s to go on holiday for a week and not have sex is unusual, especially as it sounds like you do normally have sex once a week, it's not as if it has stopped altogether, despite you claiming it is ... (read in full...)

First time sex was a disaster!

Q.   I tried sex for the first time I really like the guy and I really did want it, but when it came to it, it didn't feel good. First he wouldn't fit into me, then he started touching me which I barely felt and when he was finally inside me I didn't f...

A.   26 July 2017: Don't worry too much! Try again. Hopefully things will improve once you have got to know each other's desires and needs better. The key is communication.... (read in full...)

Should I let him go? or see what happens?

Q.   I met this guy last year while I was drunk eating pizza after clubbing with my friend (typical party girl scene) now I never took this guy seriously I'd always ignore his texts, or keep conversations small, sometimes he'd ask to hang out but I'd ...

A.   22 July 2017: My gut feeling on this one is that he's interested in sex, not a relationship. I could be wrong, it's difficult to judge on fairly limited information, but it depends what you want really, as his lifestyle doesn't really lend itself to a full on ... (read in full...)

How do I handle my critical dad? He's given me poor self-esteem!

Q.   I've been struggling w/this for years w/my dad. My dad does love me, I do know that. When it comes down to me, he has always been negative w/about 95% of everything. For the last 10 years he has been convinced that I'm overweight and will be ...

A.   21 July 2017: This is tough to live with, and only you can do something about it by telling your dad how he makes you feel. This can be done sensitively but firmly, so that he fully understands. If he accepts he has been too hard on you and changes his approach, ... (read in full...)

Engaged but I've seen someone new

Q.   I am engaged to a man whom I have been in a mostly happy relationship for 9 years. He cheated on me three years in with someone at work but we got over it. We are now engaged and the wedding is next year. My problem is, I'm absolutely obses...

A.   18 July 2017: Leaving the 'new guy' aside, your post suggests to me that you are not 100% sure you are doing the right thing, getting married. I can understand this given that your fiancé cheated on you, and you describe your relationship as 'mostly happy' which ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with my husband because I feel sorry for him?

Q.   Hi, I'm 49 and married second time for 5 years. He is 13 years older and adores me. But Iv never really been settled. Iv hankered after an ex for the first years of the marriage. Now Iv met and fallen madly in love with a guy I met . I'm so ...

A.   17 July 2017: You have to move on for the sake of both of you, otherwise you will just end up resenting him, and he doesn't deserve that. Just be kind to him when you tell him it is over.... (read in full...)

Desperately seeking sex

Q.   Im single and i have been having a few dates here and there. Its all fine but im not getting any connections with anyone. Im quite horny now and miss the regular sex and dirty talk. Sex toys and masturbating are fine for a while but its just not the ...

A.   14 July 2017: Sorry for getting the wrong end of the stick! I did read your post as someone who wanted a relationship, but failing that needed some sex in her life! I do hope you manage to find both. It's not easy to meet that special person but hopefully there ... (read in full...)

How do I go back to being who I was while at Korea? I'm stuck in a weird slump

Q.   Okay, I am a 20 year old guy who just returned to my middle of nowhere hometown after the most amazing year abroad in Seoul, South Korea studying at a University that I've always dreamed of attending and it finished, AN incredible, what i thought to ...

A.   13 July 2017: It's normal to feel a huge sense of anti-climax when you return to mundane normality after a life changing experience like you experienced in Seoul. It can take a few weeks to accept that a life enhancing chapter has closed. The only way to address ... (read in full...)

I seem to be stuck in a fantasy world. Am I going mad?

Q.   I want to give a little background - I have an obsessive personality (my therapist) has stated this on top of bad anxiety. Lately due to the stress because of bills all I do is work and I have found that I get sick in this fantasy land of dreaming ...

A.   12 July 2017: I think a lot of people escape from the everyday world into a world of fantasy and imagination. It costs nothing to dream up an alternative lifestyle, having relationships with co-workers etc. I think we all do it to a certain extent. It's only a ... (read in full...)

My new boyfriend doesn't make me feel beautiful

Q.   My boyfriend doesn't ever make me feel beautiful. He will always say to me 'you look nice' but I can tell he is just saying that without any true feeling. I would say I am an attractive girl and tend to get a lot of male attention and fe...

A.   12 July 2017: This is a tricky one. Some men are just more demonstrative and outgoing than others. Some get embarrassed about handing out compliments to women. It's difficult to guess whether your bf is one of these types, or that he's pining for his ex, and ... (read in full...)

Desperately seeking sex

Q.   Im single and i have been having a few dates here and there. Its all fine but im not getting any connections with anyone. Im quite horny now and miss the regular sex and dirty talk. Sex toys and masturbating are fine for a while but its just not the ...

A.   12 July 2017: I would imagine for a woman making it clear she wants no-strings sex, there would be no shortage of takers! We are often programmed to think that men want sex and women want love. Not true! Men and women want sex AND love. You obviously have a high ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for eyes to wander in long term relationships?

Q.   I have been with my gf 5 years now and over that time things have never been smooth sailing but lately and this is something I feel guilty about my eyes have begun to wonder i would love to say I would never cheat and I am 99% sure I wouldn't but I ...

A.   11 July 2017: Your eyes are bound to wander if you have no sex life and have little in common. This is not the basis for a long term relationship. It sounds like it is time for you to go your separate ways, you only live once!... (read in full...)

Indian wedding problem- I was happy with the guy that my parents had seen for me but now they say our horoscopes don't match!

Q.   Hi I met a guy arranged by my parents for matrimony.i ended up liking him a lot....everything was going on smoothly n we were about to plan our wedding but now my parents say that we can't go ahead because the horoscopes do not match and the ...

A.   11 July 2017: This sounds like some sort of joke. A wedding would be called off because of astrology? This makes no sense to me at all. I would tell your parents how much you love him and don't think the wedding should be called off due to the views of an ... (read in full...)

Is it that bad I really feel down about it?

Q.   This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments. One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she...

A.   11 July 2017: I took ages to learn to drive and failed my test twice. This was a blessing in disguise because by the time I took to the road I had a lot of experience under my belt and have never had an accident since I passed. I'm sure there are a lot of things ... (read in full...)

Are all men vain?

Q.   Are guys really vain? I'm an insecure female and I have from what most men say and ideal face and body and I get complimented a lot- I don't share a lot of myself with the men I've been because it takes time - they also have been really bad men- my ...

A.   11 July 2017: I think everyone gets judged initially on looks, men and women. It's the first thing people notice about another person. It takes time to get to know them as people. I do feel there is an element of truth in the viewpoint that people who are ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with creepy older men?

Q.   I live in a small rich town where there are a LOT of people in their 50s and 60s, I'm here because it's cheaper and nicer than the nearby city. I'm a female student in my 20s. I get hit on regularly by older guys (I'm talking the ones in the 50s ...

A.   7 July 2017: It sounds to me like you are dealing with this just fine as it is. You are assertive when you need to be, without being rude. You don't dress provocatively and you don't lead these men on. Unfortunately, we can't control the behaviour of others, we ... (read in full...)

Trivial Fights getting out of control

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have had our ups and downs. When it is good it is REALLY good. The passion is high. We share a lot and are similar in many ways. But we have had our share of down-at-the mouth fights. Somehow we ...

A.   4 July 2017: He sounds like a total wanker and you would be better off out of the relationship. Even when you tried to defuse the situation he carried on being completely unreasonable and to leave you to get home on your own was deeply unpleasant. In my opinion, ... (read in full...)

Do men lose out on any pleasure by using condoms?

Q.   Hi Aunts. I've met this amazing guy and we have been chatting for a while, he is going at a slow pace with me :)he is kind, understanding and says he is very much in love with me, I feel the same. I can trust him and I think he's perfect for me ...

A.   3 July 2017: Just explain to him that the pill or coil are not options due to previous problems, therefore he will need to wear a condom. I don't think they spoil sex at all, the only downside for me is putting one on just when you want to get down to action, ... (read in full...)

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