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*ouWish

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Help me with this family situation, my father thinks I'm avoiding an event!

Q.   I have a difficult situation with my over 65 yr old parents Need advice please My parents live in another state that is a 1hour plane flight away I visit once a year and they come to my state, once a year to visit and and we talk on phone sometim...

A.   20 May 2017: I'm thinking along the same lines as AuntyBimBim here. Your dad saying this: "its only your mothers 70th and this may be the last time all Of us are together before my funeral" This would have me wondering if there are health issues that they... (read in full...)

I'm worried how rude the nurses will be

Q.   Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...

A.   18 May 2017: Don't worry about it OP! The nurses aren't going to judge you because you don't have a person at home to help out. They'd rather have you stay overnight at the hospital than leave and have a medical emergency at home that you can't have help ... (read in full...)

Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.

Q.   Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed. ...

A.   17 May 2017: Trust me, more of them do it than they let on. I am a very proud "lover" of myself! Not only is it nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of, but it's got amazing benefits for health, well-being, and a romantic life. Women who know their own bodies... (read in full...)

Boyfriend created fake marriage documents with his ex so that she could have residency in the US. Do I tell him I know? What do I do now?

Q.   I live with my boyfriend of a year. We moved in together 2 months ago and everything has been wonderful from the start of our relationship. Today I finally unpacked our last box. I opened a notebook I didn't recognize and it was a journal he wrote ...

A.   17 May 2017: Uhh, breaking his trust over snooping should be the LEAST of your worries right now. This isn't about trying to dig up dirt because you saw him flirting with a co-worker. This has nothing to do with being "young and dumb", especially if the j... (read in full...)

I'm worried how rude the nurses will be

Q.   Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...

A.   17 May 2017: I'm very well acquainted with hospitals and nurses. My college roommate was also studying nursing and is a chief RN now at the Mayo Clinic. I also have been a regular patient, having gone through kidney dialysis and then a transplant, and I still ... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   14 May 2017: I got proposed to on my 20th birthday. What is it with birthdays and proposals??? Here's the thing -- everyone else is right, but I'm going to give you another MASSIVELY HUGE reason not to ever propose on a birthday or holiday like Valentin... (read in full...)

My boyfriend needs time to figure his life out!

Q.   I've written on here before about concerns with my boyfriend not saying I love you after about 5 months. However, we split up/decided to take a break yesterday although I'm unsure exactly which it was. Our relationship has been very happy...

A.   14 May 2017: You've been together for about 7 months. This isn't an unrealistic amount of time for someone to take that step into saying "I love you". At 5 months, that's pretty soon into the relationship, and the words "I love you" are about much more than ... (read in full...)

Why can't I get a girlfriend again? And a girlfriend without a lot of crazy luggage from her past?

Q.   Hello Not a newcomer to this site, been here for a few years really but I've decided to post this anonymously. So I think I'm stuck in a rut with relationships. I've taken what's easy and made a few dumb decisions, and over the last yea...

A.   12 May 2017: I started reading this, and my first thought was -- you have to BE what you want to have. You want a girl without baggage, and that's understandable, especially at your age! A teenager shouldn't be packing a lot of baggage from her past. ... (read in full...)

How can I sort out this mess?

Q.   The worst thing happened to me today, I planned to go on a date with my girl, and she brought some of her friends too, and i was with my friend too, so during the date, she was constantly trying to put up a fight with me, like insulting my character ...

A.   11 May 2017: The purpose of a date isn't for showing off in front of friends. The purpose of a date is to get to know someone you're interested in to see if you both have something together. I would suggest not pursuing things with this girl any longer, ... (read in full...)

I'm thinking about people in my past! Also I'm not satisfied with my sex life! Advice?

Q.   A little back story before getting into my concerns-I have been married for almost half a year. We are both very much in love and have a great relationship and I'm treated very well. I'm happy! I lost my virginity to my husband, as he's the only one ...

A.   8 May 2017: One thing you need to understand about intimacy and sex is - it's NOT better to have had sex and been with many guys than to have had sex with one person. I can't remember the name of the athlete who answered a question about sports and infidelity, ... (read in full...)

I don't trust him as he's still active on the dating site, but I really don't want to end the relationship!

Q.   We met online dating site. Agreed to close accounts once established relationship. He agrees exclusively, yet is still active on dating site! He denies any chatting or meetingsd x but refuses to close the account. . I was with him when he recieved a ...

A.   8 May 2017: EEK! Typo! I meant to say "he is lying and seeing people beHIND your back." Something for you for the future: My husband has a cousin who just got married about three months ago and we were at a family get-together last month, and they ... (read in full...)

I don't trust him as he's still active on the dating site, but I really don't want to end the relationship!

Q.   We met online dating site. Agreed to close accounts once established relationship. He agrees exclusively, yet is still active on dating site! He denies any chatting or meetingsd x but refuses to close the account. . I was with him when he recieved a ...

A.   8 May 2017: DO NOT waste your time with this guy. While auto-renews do happen, this guy took it a step too far and you now have the evidence that he is lying and seeing people being your back. In this case, there IS no relationship now. Your "exclusivity" ... (read in full...)

My husband is almost forcing me to have sex with my lesbian neighbor

Q.   Hi, my husband has recently come home after a month away and suddenly started wanting me to have sex with my lesbian next door neighbour, he doesn't want to watch or be involved at all. We have known she has a crush on me for a long time and given ...

A.   7 May 2017: The other 13 answers are brilliant ones, so what I have to say about this isn't an "instead of", it's just that your post reminded me of a situation I encountered with an acquaintance about 15 years ago whose husband started doing the same thing to ... (read in full...)

I can't be what my LDR boyfriend wants me to be!

Q.   My ldr watches porn stars mistress who dominate men . When we talk sexy I am extremely self conscious. It's simply not in my nature to be anything like that . That's not how I am as a person but I know that's what really floats his boat . I have...

A.   5 May 2017: OMG Denizen really read my mind here. People PAY for that sort of thing, and for this guy to accuse you of being "unfair" is one of the biggest red flags alive. There are many guys out there who save videos like this to have as their "conquests", ... (read in full...)

We've been dating for almost 2 years. Should I move out?

Q.   Been going through a really tough time emotionally, physically and financially. I've been fighting down depression through so much guilt I'm carrying. Met a nice guy and though my heart told me I wasn't ready, he became my boyfriend and we moved in...

A.   5 May 2017: Then drop him like a bad habit. You do not need him in your life. Being partnered with someone does not give anyone the right to force you into their way or the highway. He has you doing everything, yet you're working. I'd say he's getting ... (read in full...)

How do I show my emotions, open up to my boyfriend and confide in him?

Q.   I have a hard time with showing my emotions to people. It 's only hard for me because I think it's embarrassing and I was honestly raised to not show any emotions like sadness or even love at times. But my boyfriend wants me to share my feelings ...

A.   4 May 2017: You already are showing your emotions to him. People do it in different ways. Some people are stoic or private with their more extreme displays, and others are much more publicly demonstrative. You must be who you are, and only who you are. To ... (read in full...)

We've been dating for almost 2 years. Should I move out?

Q.   Been going through a really tough time emotionally, physically and financially. I've been fighting down depression through so much guilt I'm carrying. Met a nice guy and though my heart told me I wasn't ready, he became my boyfriend and we moved in...

A.   4 May 2017: How old is this guy?! Should I send him a labelmaker that says "I purchased the second orange to the right of the one on the front left?" Who the hell DOES that??? Detergent is detergent, not diamond dust or plutonium or white truffle sauce. If ... (read in full...)

I cant let go of this anger!

Q.   I am having trouble letting go of anger and resentment for someone that has got under my skin. The guy isn't a close friend, he was more of an acquaintance that I would see and speak to from time to time due to overlapping friendship group...

A.   3 May 2017: Really?!? She's begging to see you, and you're pretty much wasting away into a hollow shell of a man when you're apart, and "We're not viable" is the ONLY reason you're not together?! You go absolutely insane when another guy gets with her, yet ... (read in full...)

I cant let go of this anger!

Q.   I am having trouble letting go of anger and resentment for someone that has got under my skin. The guy isn't a close friend, he was more of an acquaintance that I would see and speak to from time to time due to overlapping friendship group...

A.   3 May 2017: This one is an easy one, and it is one of THE cardinal rules of friendship, at least when it comes to us women. I know you're a guy, and I know that you guys follow the same rule, but it's much more emphasized with women because of the emotional ... (read in full...)

Am I being too demanding? His excuse is, ''yes, but just not yet.''

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years. We do not live together. He wants me to move in with him, but I won't, because his ex-wife still has a key, and he refuses to change the locks. I don't feel safe leaving my things in his house ...

A.   1 May 2017: Uhhh, I would be wondering immediately if this guy is actually legally divorced from his wife, because it doesn't sound like he is. Courts, when granting divorces, also grant ownership of marital assets and put deadlines on things that must be sold ... (read in full...)

Why does my ex keep tabs on who I date? What can I do?

Q.   It’s ok if he moves on and is in a relationship but its not ok for me to do it?. I’m not saying I let him get involved in my life but my question is what can i do for him to stop/protect myself. (I actually don't let him get involved. He finds out ...

A.   30 April 2017: I agree with anyone else on here, but there is a very big missing element: You never mentioned whether or not you or your ex or current boyfriend called the police and pressed charges on this guy for assault. He's going to keep at this until he... (read in full...)

Am I cheating on my boyfriend? ? Hope not.

Q.   Am I cheating on my boyfriend!! I downloaded tinder to relook at my old profile which he knew about and I used it for a couple of days and got chatting to one Man for a while. Little thing or anything but i dont any feeling toward him ! But ...

A.   28 April 2017: Well, the question is - if this were your boyfriend chatting up another girl on Tinder behind your back, would you accept his justification of a "rough patch", or would you feel like he was being disloyal to you and to your relationship?? Becau... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird?

Q.   My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird? I work in an office and wear skirts and blouses on a daily basis. When I first started dating him he said he loved what I was wearing but recently it seems to have got even more intens...

A.   28 April 2017: This one's classified as an okay, and healthy fetish! I was with a guy who had a serious foot fetish, and I remember once that I was going to replace a pair of tennis shoes. Since he was giving me a foot massage, I just mentioned that mine were ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for men to have sex when women are having their periods?

Q.   I'm meeting up with my bf next month who stays in another city. The problem is that the date when I will be going, I might be on my periods. I've told him that already to which he has said that he's fine with it. What can this possibly mean? Is he ...

A.   27 April 2017: It's extremely common! My husband has zero problem with it, though I prefer not to! However, I don't know if anyone else agrees with me or not, but orgasm during menstruation feels different than otherwise. It's actually therapeutic for me in ... (read in full...)

Is it too late to change careers?

Q.   Not sure if this is the usual question on here but I would love advice. I work in finance, managing retirement funds. I have been in the industry for over 10 years and have been good at it. Lately I have felt incapable of making decisions follow...

A.   27 April 2017: A friend of mine made the decision back when she was 53 years old that she would change her bookkeeping career. She went back to law school, got her degree, passed the bar, and is now very happy doing contract law. She asked me the same question ... (read in full...)

On a break from boyfriend and have a job offer in another town

Q.   My Bf and I are on a sort of break right now. We are still with each other but spending time with our own families to reassess what we both want. There is a job offer for Me far away from home but I won't be happy there (I will like the job just not ...

A.   27 April 2017: Dear Stability Nerd, ;) (Couldn't resist!) You *do* realize that this is a no brainer, right? The universe is trying to hit you over the head, telling you that it's time to make a life change. Nothing new will happen unless you take t... (read in full...)

Is he cheating on me if he's flirting in public with other girls? Should I kiss him for the first time at the party?

Q.   hey guys i need some help. I am dating this boy that i have strong feelings for. But recently I see him flirting with some other girls like playing around, like poking their stomach,laughing,and talking a lot to each other in front of me knowing w...

A.   26 April 2017: Don't kiss this guy. He's not exclusively into you. He has no business touching other women on the stomach, as that is inappropriate. Also, taking off your shirt rarely stops there when it comes to parties, especially if there's alcohol and/or ... (read in full...)

Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?

Q.   I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...

A.   25 April 2017: This may be a strange response to this question, but hear me out.. Yes, I know we're not animals, but we can look to the animal kingdom to find similarities in response to stimuli. In this case, I know firsthand that in animal husbandry (particu... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to end things with a good person when they are not your type?

Q.   Is it wrong to end things with someone cause they are not your type? they treat you wonderful,they come on really strong,you wish your ex would of treated you this way. the one who treated you bad you fell for,now I have someone who would do ...

A.   21 April 2017: No one will *ever* be your type as long as you're not over your ex. I don't think you realize how serious this is for you AND for any woman you hurt from here on out that you choose to date while NOT being over your ex. Any time you start th... (read in full...)

I stumbled across hidden videos in my girlfriends computer of her having sex with her ex

Q.   I am engaged to my dream girl and our relationship is perfect. We've been together for 2 years now and We are the perfect couple... or so I thought.. Things changed when I found some things on her lap top. I needed to finish up a report but forgo...

A.   19 April 2017: Ahh, now THIS one is complicated. I like the complicated questions on here! Everything was all straightforward - you were upset about her keeping old sex videos either inadvertently or deliberately, but the real complication was that watching... (read in full...)

I had to cancel my wedding because of my boyfriend's attitude, I'm still trying to make it work but he has nothing to offer to the relationship and wants me to justify why I want to get married!

Q.   I've been in a relationship with my partner for six, almost seven years. We got together in our early 30's and are now in our late 30's. I've always been very vocal about what I want from our relationship - a long term commitment with marriage an...

A.   18 April 2017: I don't think you're with him because you love him. You could separate him for any warm willing male person willing to go through with a marriage. You are not pushing him out of any sense of love. You're pushing him because YOU want to be ... (read in full...)

I thought my fiance didn't love his ex wife but his old Facebook post seemed to imply otherwise

Q.   I am so disappointed please tell me if I'm over reacting. I found an old post from 6 years ago on my Fiancé face book on his marriage anniversary stating how lucky he was to have her and he hit a jackpot and hope this happiness never ends! I know ...

A.   18 April 2017: I have a couple of points to make to you, one directly answering your question, and the other one I need to make to you, or else something similar to this WILL come up again. First point - you ask us how he can make posts like this while at the s... (read in full...)

Is it all in my head or do I have something to be worried about?

Q.   So to be completely honest I'm 16 and I'm worried my boyfriend came in me about 3-4 weeks ago.. it's really been messing with me.. I took the morning after pill as soon as I could which was the third day but a little bit after 72 hours. I asked him ...

A.   16 April 2017: First of all, your boyfriend doesn't know if he CAME?? REALLY?! I'd say that's a big YES. Second of all, stress and hormone fluctuations can also cause changes in your menstruation, and with a double dose of morning-after pill plus the NUVA rin... (read in full...)

Am I selfish and bad to be feeling so disappointed that he reneged on his original decision to aim to propose to me soon?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have talked about getting married for a while, and a few months back he told me when he'd hope to propose. I was getting very excited. That time-frame hasn't happened yet, however now he is saying he simply cannot afford the ring...

A.   16 April 2017: Damn those stupid jewelry companies for even coming up with the idea of an engagement ring in the first damn place!! De Beers started it with the "A Diamond is Forever" slogan in the Great Depression of all times to get people to spend ridiculous ... (read in full...)

Is my ex girlfriend crazy and a hypocrite?

Q.   My ex girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. Literally the day after my bday actually. On my actual bday she was giving me the cold shoulder all day. She was more concerned with watching shows on her laptop then spending time with me. We were ...

A.   16 April 2017: You were together and fell in love after only 2 months?? No, this has nothing to do with accepting some good guy. I noticed that you said this: "Her best friend pays for my ex's cell phone bill and pays for anything else she needs." You a... (read in full...)

Am I asking too much of my fiance?

Q.   my fiance in the past has been drugged while at a club, drives 1.5 hrs from clubs after drinking.. all i ask when out on girls night out or on our dates is that i get texte,called or snapchatted to know she is home safe . i get: i fell asleep,phone ...

A.   16 April 2017: When was she drugged while at a club?? Who drugged her, and what happened to her when it happened?? Her driving drunk and putting people at risk, or staying out and clubbing until all hours of the night is not good fiance material. If you ... (read in full...)

I waited 3 years to tell my LDR boyfriend that I have 2 children and now he's unsure of how he feels

Q.   I've been in a 3 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I'll admit I've been wrong in never disclosing to him that I've been married, divorced, and have two teenage children. I'm also 42 yrs old while he's only 33 yrs old. I've trav...

A.   16 April 2017: There is no excuse whatsoever for catfishing a guy for 3 years. You lied about who you were, you hid your age and you hid that you're a single mom for 3 years and had been married and divorced. Your "reason" is also a lie. You withheld your age ... (read in full...)

I have my ex husband's last name. My current boyfriend wants me to change back to my maiden name. Should I?

Q.   My boyfriend does not like that I have kept the surname of my ex husband. It is just easier as my child's last name would be the same as mine. My boyfriend said it does not matter if my child's last name is different from his mother. I ...

A.   15 April 2017: The problem is in his (and your) thinking. Don't think of this last name in terms of "my ex-husband's last name". Think of it in terms of "my child's last name". Your boyfriend is suffering a bit of retroactive jealousy, but it's your child th... (read in full...)

Was sending that message to my BF the best option? Or did I just stoke the fire more?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and have been friends for years before that. One thing I know about him is that when he gets upset he doesn't want to talk right away so when I know he's upset I'll just leave him alone until he's ...

A.   14 April 2017: PS - I'm not trying to be harsh on you! I'm angry at your d-bag of a boyfriend. I'm guessing this has been a pattern he's put on you, and people who behave like that who intentionally hurt and stress their partners pisses me off nearly as bad as ... (read in full...)

Was sending that message to my BF the best option? Or did I just stoke the fire more?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and have been friends for years before that. One thing I know about him is that when he gets upset he doesn't want to talk right away so when I know he's upset I'll just leave him alone until he's ...

A.   14 April 2017: I think you should have chucked the entire idea of an email. I would never be with a guy who forces people to walk on eggshells until he feels like talking. And your email didn't make your point at all, because you didn't say what you REALLY ... (read in full...)

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