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*ouWish

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Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?

Q.   I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...

A.   22 March 2017: Ahh, you're young. This is a lesson then. I'm sorry you had to learn it the hard way that many married men are straight up dogs even with their own co-workers. You'd think they'd know not to S*** where they eat, but some men are just jerks that ... (read in full...)

Whose last name do I give to my baby?

Q.   My mom thinks I should give the baby the fathers last name but I don't think I should because I'm not married to him and he isn't in the picture. Won't that be an issue at school for my son and wherever I take him, if we have different last nam...

A.   22 March 2017: If the father is not in the picture, your son's name should be yours, not his. That's what I believe anyways. I understand your mom's line of thinking, but two things are driving that, both being antiquated lineage record-keeping related.... (read in full...)

Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?

Q.   I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...

A.   21 March 2017: I'd be upset, but not at a co-worker. HE should have said something before his lips were on yours, and YOU should have asked him "are you single" before your lips were on his. He's a married man. Being separated for a month is still married, only ... (read in full...)

I feel so insecure because he hasn't said the "L" word.

Q.   I've seen this type of post a few times on here, but I wanted to share my personal situation and get your input. Thanks in advance! My BF and I are 24. We've been officially dating for 5 months. These months have been extremely happy. He is so ...

A.   21 March 2017: Five months is too soon! Feeling infatuation is different than declaring love. You should be sitting back and enjoying spending time with him rather than analyzing who's saying what and when. Do NOT say it first, especially since you recognize ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he doesn't care about things!

Q.   My boyfriend lives with me and I mean, we've had our arguments, but I find that he pays no attention to me. He goes to work, the gym, then he comes home and plays video games until we go to bed and pays more attention to the dog even. I've asked him ...

A.   21 March 2017: You're asking the wrong questions, to be honest. The question "What's wrong?" shouldn't be asked of HIM because the "what's wrong" is the information YOU should be sharing. He is fine with his life, work, gym, video games, and you're the one who ... (read in full...)

Roomies are all going in different directions so how do we divide the stuff we bought together?

Q.   It's coming to the end of our lease and I [26,M] just found out I need some major dental work that's going to cost me a TON of money. So to save up again I'm moving back in with my ex-girlfriend, Lana,[22,F] I won't have to pay anything so I should...

A.   19 March 2017: What the hell??? This ex Lana is paying for your needs while you save up for dental work, and you're quibbling over a toaster oven?? I think that belongs to Lana, not you. You say that she gets "power over you". What kind of a man ARE you?? ... (read in full...)

He has not told his ex about me yet. Is is reasonable for me to feel so hurt? Am I over-reacting?

Q.   I've been going out with my partner for one year. We both have kids from previous relationships. Being a mother and full time parent i have included him in my two kids lives. We both have teenage daughters. He spent christmas with his ex and stay...

A.   19 March 2017: Telling the ex and telling the children I see are two separate issues. I am inclined to agree with Honeypie in this instance - I'd be questioning whether or not they're divorced or merely separated and still married. That happens much more than ... (read in full...)

Miscarried and I'm not over it

Q.   Hi all I'm a 20 year old woman and I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We're currently saving for a house. He is in a full time job while I've been drifting from job to job (whilst looking for a full time serious job). I have been ...

A.   16 March 2017: I don't know if there's a point where you're "over" it. I think it's more that life moves forward and you learn to live in a new normal. What I can tell you is that getting pregnant again will not help you get "over" what happened. It will be ... (read in full...)

My ex refuses to acknowledge that porn played a part in our breakup

Q.   Hi there, I recently had suspicions that my partner of 8 years may be suffering porn related ed. he was being secretive, defensive and only capable of having sex when he could act out his fantasies(which he didn't share with me). No intimacy...

A.   12 March 2017: You ended the relationship, which in this case for you is a double-edged sword. You two are no longer together, so he doesn't have to answer to you anymore about anything that happened, and you've ended it. You should have done the talking and ... (read in full...)

Husband found out about my promiscuous teen years

Q.   I've been married 3 years and my husband and I have a great relationship based on trust on we don't keep secrets. I was recently contacted on Facebook by Erica, a high school friend. When we were in school, we were promiscuous. We did girl on g...

A.   12 March 2017: Here's the thing - I had started typing up that what you did before meeting your husband is your business and not his, until I re-read your post and need clarification on something: Your friend Erica - is she an ex of yours?? Were you two inti... (read in full...)

My boyfriend no longer has time for me because of his new job. How do I cope?

Q.   I feel that my boyfriend and I may have hit a rough patch. We're about 6 months into our relationship and up until this point, things have been so easy and carefree. Then, he got a new job that has a lot of potential for him to advance and be v...

A.   11 March 2017: You're still seeing him often after work, so you're not going without him. And YES, people shouldn't be texting when they're on the job, unless they're at lunch or on a break. That's good work ethic to not be texting constantly while on the job. ... (read in full...)

Does a man call a woman a bad word because of how he sees her physically?

Q.   Do men call women wh..res because they think they are ugly ? Is it because it's thought a woman is not attractive enough to be appealing enough for a man to want to date and marry that she would have to sell herself sexually in order to survive ...

A.   11 March 2017: You're right about it being disrespectful and uncalled for. I don't ever agree with that word being used in any circumstances, because no matter what or how it's used, it's a word primarily used to shame women, and it invokes misogyny when a man is ... (read in full...)

I'm troubled by my boyfriend's spiteful side

Q.   My boyfriend and I went on holiday recently and we missed our flight as we both got the return flight date wrong. We travel on the bus to the airport to see if we can get another flight. I had a leg injury. Our suitcase fell of the baggage ...

A.   11 March 2017: Had I been in that situation and had the guy I was with deliberately ignore me with the leg injury, I would have scanned the room, found another strong-looking guy, and told him "I'm so sorry to bother you, but my leg is injured. Could you please ... (read in full...)

I can't help feeling that I'm his second choice!

Q.   My boyfriend always tells me that he knew from our first date that I was special and a keeper. I recently found out we had our first date, then he went out with another women the next day and had been chasing this women before and after we first...

A.   10 March 2017: His phone must have "Searched itself"?!???! REALLY??? Does he honestly think that you're THAT stupid?? Wiseowle says it correctly here - you are a bedwarmer. You are Ms. Right Now. You are the subject of the song "If you can't be with th... (read in full...)

He's so unhygienic it's putting me off him, am I being unreasonable?

Q.   I have been dating for over a year. In the early days he was relatively tidy.The guy is increasingly becoming a slob. His whole place is like a teenages bedroom clothes, rushbish, hangers, money etc chucked on the floor, plates piled up in the ...

A.   10 March 2017: Actually, it's for this very reason why people should never rush a courtship or dating situation, because only with time do people's REAL natures emerge. In this case, hygiene and basic upkeep of one's living space is essential. For me, I actually ... (read in full...)

Porn related little white lie - should I let it go?

Q.   Should I bring it up or let it go? My husband is very busy running three businesses. He gets very stressed with it. Sometimes he masturbates to porn to relieve tension - I know all this, it's not every day or all the time. Sometimes I use his ...

A.   10 March 2017: The short answer is YES, you should let it go. Whether it's on the PC or a tablet or on a phone, a tool is a tool, so it doesn't matter where porn is viewed, only *that* it's viewed and that it's the legal kind, as opposed to child porn or snuff ... (read in full...)

We went from sex twice a day to maybe once a week. I can't live without sex!

Q.   Hey here's the problem my boyfriend and I used to have sex twice a day morning and night we've been together just over 2 years he moved in after being together a year the past few months we hardly ever have sex maybe once a week I asked him if he ...

A.   9 March 2017: To put it into perspective, you're not going without sex. It is usual for relationships to have ebbs and flows and still maintain a healthy sex life. Not many couples are sexually in sync, and the ones who are usually took years to develop that ... (read in full...)

He doesn't know I'm a stripper! Should I tell him?

Q.   I’ve been dating this guy for the past 5 weeks and although we are not officially in a relationship things have moved fairly quickly between us. I had been a dancer/stripper for the past 2 years and when I had met him I had actually left the indu...

A.   9 March 2017: I'm not going to judge you. We all have our means of survival. In fact, I read not too long ago an article from a high-end escort who said that her life was a very lonely one, despite having slept with well over 1,000 men and making more in a ... (read in full...)

Due to health issues, asking a relative to help seemed like a valid option. My relative is reluctant to help. What are my options?

Q.   I have a dilemma and I'm looking for some advice! I've recently been diagnosed with cancer and am thankfully getting treatment but unfortunately this has meant an extended period of time off work that I was financially unprepared for. I will n...

A.   8 March 2017: Before you go to your grandmother, you should talk to a social worker first. There are a lot more sources of financial help than just the government's payments. You're in the UK, so I don't know what they have specifically in your country, but ... (read in full...)

Is it ok for a female coworker to complain about her relationship to a married man to gain his sympathy?

Q.   Looking for other opinions Is it ok for a female coworker to complain about her relationship to a married man to gain his sympathy? Should the married man explain to her that it is inappropriate and stop inviting her to discuss her problems...

A.   8 March 2017: To amend, the YES I spoke of was not to the question of the title, but to the last sentence of the OP's post: "Should the married man explain to her that it is inappropriate and stop inviting her to discuss her problems and literally cry on his s... (read in full...)

Is it ok for a female coworker to complain about her relationship to a married man to gain his sympathy?

Q.   Looking for other opinions Is it ok for a female coworker to complain about her relationship to a married man to gain his sympathy? Should the married man explain to her that it is inappropriate and stop inviting her to discuss her problems...

A.   8 March 2017: The short answer is YES. A married man can have female friends, but there are emotional boundaries as well as physical ones. Not only that, but there are professional boundaries as well, being that it's at work, and crying on someone else's ... (read in full...)

My 22 year old daughter has sent nude photos to her boyfriend. How do I address this?

Q.   I recently discovered that my 22 year old daughter who is doing her post graduation has clicked and sent her nude pictures to her boyfriend. am concerned that its morally incorrect and also usually such pictures land up circulating. Its very...

A.   7 March 2017: I think I need to break with my esteemed fellow aunts here on this one. Your daughter's 22 years old. While you'll always be her father, and she'll always be your daughter, she's not a kid, nor is she a teenager. She's an adult now, and as fooli... (read in full...)

Can I trust him is he a cheat

Q.   I did something bad...... I catfished my boyfriends ex and found out some horrible things. They used to have group sex Go to sex parties He use to be on drugs all the time He was kicked out of his old house cause he stole drugs from his ...

A.   7 March 2017: What you did was legitimate research on this guy you're with. I'm curious as to what tiggered your desire to look into his past. I don't believe in hacking or snooping into privacy, but you didn't do that. You didn't break into his phone or... (read in full...)

Heroin addict stares at me?

Q.   This man has been on heroin crack methadone you name it and I know he still at least has methadone and crack. I'm lead to believe opiates kill sex drive so why does he keep on staring at me? I don't think he just stares because he's off his nut, ...

A.   7 March 2017: Opiates don't kill sex drive. They dampen the sexual response and arousal, but they don't kill it. And like the other person said - an out-of-control addict not in a methadone program who's really caught in it sees everything and everyone... (read in full...)

Is it wrong of me to use him for sex?

Q.   So there's this guy that fancied me. I sleep with him but don't have no feelings. Is it wrong of me using him for sex when he wants more ...

A.   7 March 2017: YES! You are doing it fraudulently. If this guy knew you had no feelings for him and never would, would he be okay with hooking up with you just as an F-buddy? To be honest, you should tell him how you feel, that you see him as a nice no-strin... (read in full...)

Terminally ill friend offered me her husband

Q.   My best friend is suffering from a terminal illness and said something to me that I'm not sure what to about. I'm divorced and haven't had good luck with men and she has been happily married for 10 years. She and her husband are truly great people ...

A.   6 March 2017: Uhh yeah. Say NOTHING to him about it as long as she's alive!! This isn't the time to be acting on feelings! She is thinking more about being guilty and bad for leaving her husband alone after she dies, and it is highly inappropriate to consider ... (read in full...)

She has no idea her ex cheated on her often! Should I tell her?

Q.   I'm in a very very sticky situation. I have 2 very close friends. 1 who is male the other is female. Both of the 2 used to date for over 4 years, they had just recently broke up about 9 months ago and I was always very close with the male. He was ...

A.   6 March 2017: I would not have recommended the letter had not the woman actively been talking about getting back with him. Also, in part it's cowardice that kept people from otherwise spilling about this guy, as well as self-interests. "Shooting the messenge... (read in full...)

She has no idea her ex cheated on her often! Should I tell her?

Q.   I'm in a very very sticky situation. I have 2 very close friends. 1 who is male the other is female. Both of the 2 used to date for over 4 years, they had just recently broke up about 9 months ago and I was always very close with the male. He was ...

A.   4 March 2017: Unfortunately, you *are* in a sticky situation because before she became your friend, you did conceal and approve of his treatment of her while they were together, or else your anonymous letter would have let her know to get away from him. Howev... (read in full...)

I am a married woman who has sex with strangers when I travel for work!

Q.   I am a married female looking for some help. This is going to sound crazy but I have always had a high sex drive. I met my husband and everything was great. We had two kids, and he is such a good man. Provides well, if I had to honestly rate hi...

A.   2 March 2017: Make no mistake, it is only a matter of time before he DOES find out, and he *will* find out. It's amazing how non-anonymous anonymous sex actually is! I don't agree with what you're doing, so I'm not going to help you hide your tracks, but they ... (read in full...)

I am a married woman who has sex with strangers when I travel for work!

Q.   I am a married female looking for some help. This is going to sound crazy but I have always had a high sex drive. I met my husband and everything was great. We had two kids, and he is such a good man. Provides well, if I had to honestly rate hi...

A.   28 February 2017: Sorry, but you're having sex with everything on two legs, and you invoke his having a lunch with an ex before you married as an excuse?? You're an oathbreaker several times over! You're not just devastating him, you're devastating your children... (read in full...)

I do not enjoy being 30 pounds overweight. How do I come to terms with the fact that the medication I must take is also making it much harder to lose weight?

Q.   A combination of menopause and necessary medication is making it extremely hard for me to lose weight . The medication is actually what caused the weight gain and through working with my dr I did try alternatives but nothing else seemed to work for...

A.   26 February 2017: Speaking as someone who also takes medication that can have that side effect, I can tell you that spending time with a dietitian is *the* saving grace, and has kept me in shape when other people have gained easily 100+ pounds in the same boat I am. ... (read in full...)

He looks at naked women online but said he'd leave if I posted nudes of myself!

Q.   I want to post nude pics of myself on an amateur site . It excites me to imagine men getting off to pictures of my naked body . My husband is against it and says he will leave . He looks at other men's wives naked and at porn . Why is it ok for him ...

A.   21 February 2017: Actually, it's not the same thing, because you're not making the correct comparison. The correct comparison is if you were looking at porn and he threatened to break up with you because of you getting off on other men (or women's) bodies. That's ... (read in full...)

I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but after 3 years I am not sure that I want to be with her

Q.   How can i break up with my girlfriend? Im not sure if i even want to. We have been together for three years. We have been having problems recently. She told me she was not sure where we were going, that we were stuck in the same old patterns doing ...

A.   21 February 2017: Your feelings on this are quite correct. She hedged her bets with you, which is a really shady and callous thing to do, to be honest. She should have broken up with you altogether instead of putting you in limbo with this "2 week break" thing de... (read in full...)

I feel betrayed and violated that he's been snooping on me on my phone! There's no reason for him to do this!

Q.   I'm so angry as I write this post and a little confused. I was talking to my boyfriend of 9 years the other day and he asked me about something that happened to one of my friends that I could of swore I never told him, I brushed it off thinking...

A.   20 February 2017: Here's the thing: I know exactly how you feel because I have been on the receiving end of snooping as well, only in my case, it was old-school pre-internet days. It was back in the days when everything was on paper and I have always been meticulo... (read in full...)

My 16 year old sister is sexually active, without birth control. Should I just come out and tell my Dad what my sister told me ?

Q.   My dad is a single dad , he does a great job raising my sister and I but he's a little clueless in the age girl department. He believes everything my sister tells him. I've seen her come home drunk and convince my dad that she had food poisoni...

A.   13 February 2017: No birth control because she's afraid her dad will find out?? Not a thought about pregnancy being a much bigger neon sign. If it were my older brother, he would have probably rung my boyfriend's neck and scared him into next week, but then again, ... (read in full...)

I found out that my boyfriend cheated and he doesn't know it yet. What should I do?

Q.   Hello everyone. I've never posted a question online before but I really don't know what to do in this situation so I'd very much appreciate your honest opinion and input! Quick background story. I've been with my partner for 5 years this comin...

A.   5 February 2017: It's good you came here first. I know it hurts. You probably feel like there's a ripping hole straight through your gut right now. Many of us are aunts because either we ourselves or someone we love felt the same thing and we want to help others ... (read in full...)

Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?

Q.   Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...

A.   30 January 2017: Is there a way you can take online courses while doing this screen role?? Many credits can be earned online. Is this an offered option at either the UNI you're attending, or a uni whose credits would transfer?... (read in full...)

Why would my co-worker buy me coffee and a muffin?

Q.   Today one of my coworkers that I'm friendly with surprised me with coffee and muffin from a fast food place. I normally get to work an hour early because parking spaces are scarce--first come first serve. When I arrived, he came to my window and...

A.   30 January 2017: I feel it necessary to ask a few questions: Most importantly - is this guy a married man?? Has he ever done this for another girl or a guy in the workplace? A random act of kindness it very well may be, and if he's honorable, he may have d... (read in full...)

I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?

Q.   I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...

A.   30 January 2017: Hmm...actually, reading your follow-up made a couple of things clear to me. I believe that if she were to give this "maximum effort" and through hard work, and crazy determination develop a body that a Lakers cheerleader would be proud to have, yo... (read in full...)

I'm 39 weeks pregnant and my husband is causing me anxiety as he prefers drinking and socialising with his friends. I feel unsupported. How should I handle this?

Q.   I'm 39 weeks pregnant and married for less than a year so we are pretty new. We are currently waiting for the D day and I'm extremely anxious as this is our first child. The problem is that he just isn't there for me. He prefers hanging out ...

A.   29 January 2017: If this is your first kid, I think he's terrified and anxious about being a dad. He may be cramming in all of this immature stuff because he thinks he's about to be imprisoned by fatherhood. He needs to grow up. If he's blacking out all the time... (read in full...)

I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?

Q.   I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...

A.   29 January 2017: What exactly happened? You've been with a girlfriend for a few years, and you're in your 30's. Did she gain weight? If so, how much did she gain, and what has caused you to get to this point? Since you're in your 30's, are you being what you... (read in full...)

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