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*ouWish

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She's boring and bland and I need to cut her loose but how do I let her down without hurting her feelings?

Q.   Hello everyone, I've recently been speaking to a girl that I got speaking to through social media. I just randomly messaged her one day and things took off and we've now been speaking for roughly two months. We went on a date after about 10 d...

A.   21 August 2017: Tell her that she's attractive, but you don't see this going anywhere because there isn't a lot you two have in common. Just tell her that it's best to go in different directions. Do it face to face. You slept with her in person, so you owe her ... (read in full...)

Am I too sensitive or he just rude?

Q.   Would you be upset at your BF for ignoring a "Thinking of you" text you sent to him? I can see he opened it but he didn't respond. About an hour later, I saw he was on Facebook for 45 min til 11 p.m. While he was on FB I sent him a heart on ...

A.   18 August 2017: PS. STOP SURVEILLING him! Facebook for 45 Minutes?!? Don't start clocking his actions with an egg timer! That shouts "clingy" to me!... (read in full...)

Am I too sensitive or he just rude?

Q.   Would you be upset at your BF for ignoring a "Thinking of you" text you sent to him? I can see he opened it but he didn't respond. About an hour later, I saw he was on Facebook for 45 min til 11 p.m. While he was on FB I sent him a heart on ...

A.   18 August 2017: I call these little things "Loyalty tests". You spent all day with the guy, and after you got home, you're texting and Facebook messaging him. You are insecure of his time away from you, as you have stated. Your talking to him were tests to... (read in full...)

I feel guilty for having feelings for my wife's sister!

Q.   I am very happily married but I think I love my wife's sister. She is married to my friend who has changed over the years and treats her terrible. We were always close but now she confides in me all the time. She is always hugging me and rubbing my ...

A.   18 August 2017: Sorry, I deleted some of my message -- tell your wife's sister that you need to set the boundaries and that she needs to talk to her husband, not you, or you will.... (read in full...)

I feel guilty for having feelings for my wife's sister!

Q.   I am very happily married but I think I love my wife's sister. She is married to my friend who has changed over the years and treats her terrible. We were always close but now she confides in me all the time. She is always hugging me and rubbing my ...

A.   18 August 2017: Uhh, any person on here with an opposite-sex sibling has just laughed out loud at this post! This isn't Game of Thrones! No brothers and sisters are touchy-feely all over each other like you describe! And you need to draw a boundary and start AV... (read in full...)

Have I done the right thing in leaving this relationship?

Q.   I've been in a relationship for 7 years. The relationship transpired from my girlfriend having an affair. She promised when separated that we would spend more time together. 7 yeas on and she hasn't told her children about me and her ex is around ...

A.   17 August 2017: Yes, I'd say that you *have* done the right thing. She was never available for you in the first place, because separated is still married. My grandparents stayed married for 15 years, yet lived apart. You were the boy toy on the side for a ma... (read in full...)

Is my husband pretending?

Q.   Sorry in advance if too much information! My husband and myself were having sex last night, usually he closes his eyes during sex, which used to bother me but he said it was just concentration on the pleasurable sensations, so it doesnt bother me...

A.   16 August 2017: I'm not a guy, but I close my eyes because I'm concentrating on the sensations! I'm not repulsed by what my husband looks like, nor do I need to think about others. Usually, good sex isn't about having rational thoughts in the first place, and to ... (read in full...)

He's a sweet person except when he's turned on!

Q.   Dear Cupid(s), I am very confused. At the beginning of the year I met a guy and things seemed to be going really well. Both of us were virgins, and when we finally had sex it felt like that became all our entire relationship was about. I started...

A.   16 August 2017: There are a few things you said here that caught my eye, and I believe that they contain some of the heart of the issue here: 1. "Both of us were virgins, and when we finally had sex it felt like that became all our entire relationship was abou... (read in full...)

Each time I nearly had sex I pulled back .... now we have split up!

Q.   Hi, Me and my now ex boyfriend broke up and it was a very hard decision for us to make because we love each other very much...We met about four months ago at work and we've been together for a month and a half before our break up. Everythi...

A.   13 August 2017: He was pressuring you for sex alright, both in talking about it and then in trying to get hot and heavy to get you to "lose control". He decided you weren't worth his time, and the truth is, he wasn't worth your virginity in the first place. ... (read in full...)

I'm still friends with an ex and my new girlfriend gets jealous!

Q.   I've been with my new girlfriend for six month's, my ex am still friends with,she babysits my granddaughter, if she needs help I help her like today, I have a pickup, she bought a big snowblower, so I pick it up for her, I help other friends too, my ...

A.   13 August 2017: How would you feel if your current girlfriend needed a delivery of something, or something to fix around the house, or tired changed on her car, and instead of calling YOU, she called an ex-boyfriend? He'd come over, do the chore, and then he would ... (read in full...)

He said he's not going anywhere. What does he mean?

Q.   My male friend and I have recently shared our inner most feelings to each other, and as it happens we feel the same way. This was accompanied by him interlocking our fingers, many hugs (him saying "I just want to hug/hold you"), holding me while ...

A.   12 August 2017: It means that he's in love with you and is willing to wait for the time it takes you to recover emotionally from the divorce. You offered him an out because you know how long and drawn-out the divorce can be, but he wants you. The best thing yo... (read in full...)

I'm still friends with an ex and my new girlfriend gets jealous!

Q.   I've been with my new girlfriend for six month's, my ex am still friends with,she babysits my granddaughter, if she needs help I help her like today, I have a pickup, she bought a big snowblower, so I pick it up for her, I help other friends too, my ...

A.   12 August 2017: I think that you won't find too many women who would accept that you are a "white knight" to an ex-girlfriend, and this ex-girlfriend should have a new guy who does things for her and not you. You *say* that you'd be fine with your girlfrie... (read in full...)

Wife won't share "our" car. Is she being unfair?

Q.   My wife doesn't work and hasn't for years despite us not having any kids. She quit her last job with my blessings. It was worth it to me just to not have to listen to her complain about it and I make a decent income such that she doesn't have to ...

A.   12 August 2017: PS, if you need an alternative solution to simply saying "I'm using the new car", since I know how marital politics gets, and you seem like a nice person, here's what to say as an alternative: "Throughout our entire marriage, whenever we have got... (read in full...)

What will my boyfriend think of me that I don't have many friends?

Q.   I am in a relationship and we have been together about three months. I feel a little bit insecure about the fact that i don't really have close female friends in the area (i work on my own, self employed) and where i live, i simply go to work, come ...

A.   12 August 2017: My son's a senior in high school too, or he will be once school starts in less than a month! You'd be surprised at how easy it can be to get a social life, if you choose one. And don't discount your cleaning business! That *IS* high powered!... (read in full...)

What will my boyfriend think of me that I don't have many friends?

Q.   I am in a relationship and we have been together about three months. I feel a little bit insecure about the fact that i don't really have close female friends in the area (i work on my own, self employed) and where i live, i simply go to work, come ...

A.   12 August 2017: On the contrary! It's widely noted that that is usually one of the biggest signs of extreme intelligence - to not have many friends. And if you work on your own and are self-employed (I too am a fellow business owner and would never trade working ... (read in full...)

I bought a house with my boyfriend, am falling out of love and have fallen for a man on the other side of the world

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles, First off please no judgement I didn't expect any of this to happen Need some help here. So I'm 38 no married no kids but have just in the last three months purchased a house in my hometown with my partner of four...

A.   12 August 2017: This is what a mid-life crisis looks like. Women can have them just like men can, and it short-circuits our reason, intellect, and anything resembling logic or sound judgment. First of all, let's just get the obvious out the way: YOU ARE... (read in full...)

Wife won't share "our" car. Is she being unfair?

Q.   My wife doesn't work and hasn't for years despite us not having any kids. She quit her last job with my blessings. It was worth it to me just to not have to listen to her complain about it and I make a decent income such that she doesn't have to ...

A.   12 August 2017: If the car belongs to both of you, and your name is on the title, then why are you ASKING her if you can take the car?? You've been unselfish in giving her the good car to drive, and I applaud that. I have a husband like yours, and you are truly a ... (read in full...)

Having sex all the time is really putting me off having sex

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together about seven months now. Things are kosher for the most part with a few small arguments here and there. One of the few things about the relationship that bother me is his sex drive. When we started dating I ...

A.   12 August 2017: The major problem I see here is -- you confused being the "best GF ever" with being the "best animated disposable sex toy ever". He does not respect you, especially if he's calling what you do with him physically "Putting out" and even joking about ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has his exes as friends on facebook.

Q.   Is it okay for your partner to have exes on Facebook? I have an issue with my boyfriend having a woman he and his wife had a threesome with a few years ago (they are no longer together) being on his friend list. He also has an ex who had an abortion ...

A.   11 August 2017: Well, the question is - is it a dealbreaker for you if he has them on his Facebook?? You can't dictate what he does with his stuff, and you're not married to him, so there's no legal binding document that governs community property and so on th... (read in full...)

Is it strange to be 'vetted' by your partners family?

Q.   Does anyone else think this is a little odd, basically I am in a new relationship with a lovely woman and she has told me that a certain person that she knows (I don't know if it is a family member or friend) has 'vetted' me to make sure I am who I ...

A.   10 August 2017: Ahh, I feel your pain and uncomfortability! Vetting a partner has been done by family since the dawn of time, when the cavegirl's father interrogated the first caveman to make sure he wasn't some psycho, and that he could take care of his cave-dau... (read in full...)

I am trying to get over her betrayal so why is she driving past my house?

Q.   Hi aunties, My long term partner left me 18 months ago for another man who she is still with. As far as I was concerned the relationship is over and there is no need to stay in touch. Every few months though she makes an effort to get in contact w...

A.   10 August 2017: It's her ego mixed with "buyer's remorse". That's happened to me before, and the guy would walk past my place of business trying to get a look at me working (even thinking about it sets my teeth on edge). She is daydreaming about "Unscrambling the ... (read in full...)

I blurted out I LOVE YOU to my married boyfriend. Why does he still want to be with me?

Q.   I told my married boyfriend of 3.5 years that I LOVE HIM yesterday. It just came out. I did not mean to say it but I did. He was asking me why do I stay with a guy like him? He called himself average, boring, not so attractive yet said I am ...

A.   10 August 2017: My existence on this earth is because my dad cheated on his first wife with my mother. She didn't know it at the time, because he never told her he was married. He'd been married for 3 years because he got her pregnant, and in the 60's, you "made ... (read in full...)

My brother is about to be taken for a ride by an online Romanian stripper!

Q.   My older brother is marrying a 21 year old stripper from Romania to bring her to the US. He met her on a webcam girl site. It is likely a romance/green card scam. He is really in a mid life crisis (48) and this is totally out of character for him. ...

A.   10 August 2017: Yeah, it sounds like he's into MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) if he's onto Red Pill sites on Reddit, and his backstory contains the baggage that usually follows men who turn to this philosophy, where having a relationship with women or marrying ... (read in full...)

I blurted out I LOVE YOU to my married boyfriend. Why does he still want to be with me?

Q.   I told my married boyfriend of 3.5 years that I LOVE HIM yesterday. It just came out. I did not mean to say it but I did. He was asking me why do I stay with a guy like him? He called himself average, boring, not so attractive yet said I am ...

A.   9 August 2017: I'm really going to get a lot of backlash from fellow aunts about what I'm about to say, but in your case, the fact that you're so incredibly focused on being in love with him and worrying about how he'll react makes it incumbent upon me to shock ... (read in full...)

Trying to make me jealous?

Q.   We can discuss virtually anything. We get along well, and just seem to "click" in a way that's unmistakable. We've been pretty open in discussion lately and it came out that we have feelings. However we are maintaining a friendship regardless. Whist ...

A.   6 August 2017: I think that the two of you are both trying to play a bit "hard to get", which is why you have feelings for him, yet are playing it off as a "friendship" and are so worried about whether or not he just wants sex from you. In the meantime, he has ... (read in full...)

Husband's new job takes him away from home.

Q.   my husband of two and a half years has accepted a job as a cell phone tower climber and will be starting in two weeks. the job includes full benefits (which is a boost to my salary since we'll be dropping the benefits we have through my employer), ...

A.   5 August 2017: My father traveled a lot as well for my entire childhood, and while oftentimes he would leave on Monday and return on Friday, there were times when he'd leave for a month, or 3 weeks, or whatever, and would be gone out of state (or sometimes out of ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my husband's flirting?

Q.   My next door neighbour's daughter, who is in her forties, constantly flirts with my husband. He flirts back but then denies he's done anything wrong. I have approached her and asked what she thinks she's playing at. She just laughed. It upsets me...

A.   4 August 2017: Your issue is between you and your husband, as he is the one you are married to. The fact that the other woman laughed when you confronted her instead of said either "I was not flirting with him, and I have no interest in him" or something to that ... (read in full...)

I have a fear that if we have sex it will be the end of our relationship

Q.   I have just started seeing this guy and things are going well. We have met a few times now and the dates have been going out for dinner, a walk along the beach and the last one was he made me dinner at his. Physically, things have happened but...

A.   1 August 2017: Don't have sex until you're ready! AND -- don't have dates in compromising places, meaning don't go over to his house or have him over to yours. Keep the lights on wherever you go, and keep the talking subjects AWAY from sexuality! You just sta... (read in full...)

His friend is trying to get my b/f to break up with me and date someone else. He thinks I'm unreasonable because I ask him not to talk to her

Q.   Going to cut a long story short... Me and my partner broke up because he thought he liked someone else so I ended things. Me leaving made him realise he wanted me and after some time I decided to give him a chance to redeem himself. However...

A.   1 August 2017: So, you broke up with him because he was interested in another girl? How did you find that out? So, he realized that he wanted to stay with you, so you got back together with him. You say "give him a chance to redeem himself". What was his crim... (read in full...)

He changed his mind about getting married so who keeps the ring?

Q.   A few weeks ago my ex fiancé basically told me that he didn't want to get married then he told me he was no longer in love with me. Then a few weeks later he basically tells me I'm in love with you but your not my soulmate. I was annoyed and I do...

A.   31 July 2017: I wish that were true, Chigirl, but I read both the letter of the actual law, plus legal challenges to it and their outcomes. But it's also clear that he can be the initiator of the breakup and still be entitled to the ring, UNLESS he was the ... (read in full...)

Is a man considered promiscuous for having 15 sexual partners?

Q.   Is having 12-15 women as sexual partners considered promiscuous for the average man? Would that many partners be a deal breaker for you? ...

A.   31 July 2017: Before addressing the OP, I feel nerdy correcting a Bible trivia, but Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Yes, I know it's about as unimportant as whether or not the Millenium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, but humor ... (read in full...)

Is a man considered promiscuous for having 15 sexual partners?

Q.   Is having 12-15 women as sexual partners considered promiscuous for the average man? Would that many partners be a deal breaker for you? ...

A.   30 July 2017: It has more to do with matching values and principles on sexuality and less to do with a hardline number. For example -- to a woman who has slept with 50 men in her sexual history, a man who has had 15 sexual partners is not promiscuous at all, ... (read in full...)

He changed his mind about getting married so who keeps the ring?

Q.   A few weeks ago my ex fiancé basically told me that he didn't want to get married then he told me he was no longer in love with me. Then a few weeks later he basically tells me I'm in love with you but your not my soulmate. I was annoyed and I do...

A.   30 July 2017: First of all, I'm no lawyer, so verify what I'm saying with a lawyer in your state. I did some research for your state (I won't disclose what your state is) regarding the current law dealing with engagement rings, and I'll list what your law is f... (read in full...)

My boyfriend masterbated to porn next to me while I was sleeping

Q.   Hello, so I woke up next to my boyfriend yesterday and noticed porn in his history, I was confused so I asked him why he had porn in his history and he said he fapped last night. I asked him if he did it right next to me and he said yes!!!! Is it ...

A.   29 July 2017: Uhh, how did you "notice" porn being in his history?? What were you doing snooping on his phone?? I find it weirder that you would wake up next to him in bed, and the first thing you'd do is grab his phone and start rifling through it LOOKING for ... (read in full...)

My ex military boyfriend got right in my face and yelled at me. Is it normal for military men to act this way toward civilians?

Q.   My exmilitary boyfriend got the idea in his head that I was seeing someone else for sex and he had a meltdown. He shouted in my face like a military seargant and I started pushing him off me and then I asked someone to throw him out! The question...

A.   29 July 2017: That's got nothing to do with whether or not he was in the military. Jealousy knows no military service, gender, or preference. He got in your face because he was jealous and because he wanted to intimidate YOU. I'm guessing you felt a "militar... (read in full...)

Married man who I was having an affair with refuses to leave me alone

Q.   Hello, Aunts! I've had an affair with a married man for over a year now. At first, I was swept off my feet by this man, whom I later found out was married. However, I stayed as he narrated the stories of his failing marriage and his impending di...

A.   26 July 2017: You give him a final warning, and then you tell his wife. You didn't know he was married at first, and that's on him. It's the best and healthiest thing for you to get away from him, as the relationship isn't a healthy one. He's coming after you ... (read in full...)

How can I deal with her angry outbursts

Q.   My girlfriend seems to have a lot of repressed aggression. Every now and then it bubbles over. It can manifest in swearing, I mean real atypical cursing, and sometimes taking things out on inanimate objects like her sat nav being thrown across the ...

A.   26 July 2017: Actually, if she's throwing property, her anger *is* at a stage to require counseling. Anger issues are a lot like illness. It progresses if it's left untreated, and like cancer, getting it at an advanced stage means that there's irreparable ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I both have anger issues but should I forgive him?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and we were going very strong, and madly in love. Only recently has our relationship deteriorated. First off I have trust issues, have done for many years after awful relationships before. At the star...

A.   26 July 2017: You're the one who is battering him, but you're asking if *HE* can be forgiven?? I'm sorry, but if the genders were reversed, and his response to you telling him to STFU is to slap the taste out of your mouth, why the HELL would the SLAP-EE need ... (read in full...)

Sex for the first time--how do I feel more brave?

Q.   I'm going to have sex with my gf for the first time , I need help on how to feel more confortable about my self and how to be more brave....

A.   24 July 2017: Focus on her in your thoughts and actions, and you won't have time to worry about your "Performance". What makes her feel good? What have you done that you know she's liked? How far have you two gone in the past? One thing to keep in mind her... (read in full...)

Is this guy lying about his wifey situation?

Q.   I met a guy online and started seeing him. Before I started seeing him he took down his profile as he said he found it demoralising. He told me he was separated, had been for 9 yrs. said he hadn't divorced because he wife had gotten a boyfrie...

A.   23 July 2017: He's not divorced because he doesn't WANT to be divorced. He's hoping that his wife will come back to him, which is why he keeps himself available by staying married to her. Not only that, but he's running the clock out on property division... (read in full...)

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