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*ouWish

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I hate sex with my husband!

Q.   OMG. I hate sex with my husband. It was always not great but I thought it would improve over time. I love him very much and I didn’t think that was a reason to break up before we got married. I’ve never discussed this with anyone.A...

A.   21 February 2018: I'll address the affair in a moment, but want to get the sex part out of the way first, or every relationship you have will die and burn like this one. Well, I hate to tell you this, but you are 50% the reason why your sex life sucks, and that you... (read in full...)

Can I come out of the closet without answering anybody's questions about my sexuality?

Q.   I am unsure about my sexuality but right now I think I want to identify as gay. I just now realised that I do not I have a problem with coming out of the closest instead I have a problem with answering the endless questions people will have once I ...

A.   21 February 2018: Just tell them what you said here, that you're still finding your way and can't answer questions about things. Eventually, if you want deeper friendships, you have to show a little emotional intimacy yourself. People don't usually like to rush ... (read in full...)

My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married

Q.   I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...

A.   21 February 2018: I read your follow-up. Did I say he was a weenie?? I meant, he's a DOUBLE WEENIE! That makes sense now. He's terrified about becoming a new dad, and his business is struggling if he's not getting paid. What do you think is going to happen w... (read in full...)

How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?

Q.   Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...

A.   21 February 2018: Honeypie is correct. You're playing it TOO cool. You should have a 48 hour turnaround. Waiting 4 days? Waiting 3 days? You're trying to see if SHE will text you. If you like her, you shouldn't do that! Make a date with her. Coffee isn't a ... (read in full...)

My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married

Q.   I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...

A.   21 February 2018: Ohhh no he doesn't. What a weenie. What is that fight about?? Any guy who has to hide behind his wife's pregnancy in order to avoid talking about it is a little bitch, and there are TWO people in this marriage, not one. He is trying to take p... (read in full...)

My husband bought a perfume for a colleague.. Is he cheating?

Q.   My husband came home from trip abroad. While i was unpacking i saw a burberry perfume i sent him a picture of it.. ang replied” for my colleague”... the perfume is obviously for women. He messaged again he said “ did i do anything wrong?” I felt ...

A.   21 February 2018: Yeah, I wouldn't jump straight to "cheating" yet, but like the others pointed out, perfume is an intimate gift that is inappropriate for a man to buy for a woman who isn't his wife. This would be similar to if one of your co-workers or good male ... (read in full...)

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

Q.   I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...

A.   20 February 2018: Your instincts are correct, and you should end things with this guy. He is trying to manipulate you with "I love you's", gifts, and so on. I'm not sure why yet, but I'm curious about it. If sex isn't on his cards, he's either lying abo... (read in full...)

My husband is a hopeless cook who thinks he is great

Q.   My husband likes to cook but is bad at it. I am a great cook since I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years. I want to teach him and have him start by helping me chop the vegetables and take care of the kitchen first before doing the ...

A.   17 February 2018: My heart *really* breaks for your husband. I feel so terribly awful because of the way you are treating him. You having restaurant or culinary experience means nothing in this setting, as in a HOME setting, food is an expression of love, not a ... (read in full...)

I want to start a business but struggle with anxiety and depression.

Q.   Im writing this today because I am turning 25 and I'm a failure. I so badly want to be a productive and sensible adult but I'm just a big child. I've failed in so many areas of my life it's laughable. I have no career, no super, I finally managed to ...

A.   16 February 2018: Hold up! You need to get yourself into aggressive treatment for both depression and anxiety before you even UTTER the words "Start my own business". I have been a business owner since 2002, with employees, clients, and ever changing markets in my ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong of me to say I would leave my girlfriend if she became an addict? Is it right of her to say that I can't keep things that might "tempt" her around?

Q.   I was having a conversation with my girlfriend the other day about her being upset because her brothers have started smoking weed again. I have no problem with weed. I've smoked it before myself, but apparently for them it starts them on harder ...

A.   24 January 2018: No, you're not wrong. If she were to become an addict, you have every right not to let her addiction destroy your life. It's not your obligation to stay in a relationship where someone is addicted and doesn't lift a finger to get help or work ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition

Q.   Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...

A.   11 January 2018: That won't help. This OP is the epitome of laziness himself. He said so right here: "Otherwise u have to start the whole process of wine and dine and dating and its just so tedious and long," This means that he is NOT dating his girlfriend. ... (read in full...)

Should I confront my soon to be ex husband about his girlfriend from another country?

Q.   Been married 18 years and my husband asked for a divorce 9 months ago. We are both still living in the marital home awaiting property settlement in a few weeks time. The situation is very stressful and toxic for me. We both have lawyers ...

A.   11 January 2018: You two are splitting. Your relationship and marriage are pretty much over except for the finalization paperwork. There's no point to "confronting" him about any relationship he has after you. HOWEVER... Everything you do NOW should be for yo... (read in full...)

I caught my partner out in a lie, what is he hiding?

Q.   I have a partner, we do not live together but have been together for 5 years, we are what I call companions, i stay at his and he stays at mine, we also like time alone. He has female friends not a problem but this one friend he told me was ill, he ...

A.   11 January 2018: Excellent! I love posters on here who take the advice and actually take the step of kicking a cheater to the curb and walking away. All too often, a poster will instead cling to denial or start pining for the cheater or make excuses or at worst... (read in full...)

I caught my partner out in a lie, what is he hiding?

Q.   I have a partner, we do not live together but have been together for 5 years, we are what I call companions, i stay at his and he stays at mine, we also like time alone. He has female friends not a problem but this one friend he told me was ill, he ...

A.   10 January 2018: OH COME ON!!! REALLY!??! IT's nighttime, he's lied to you about where he is, and he's staying at another woman's house. Read very carefully: HE IS CHEATING ON YOU! Let me say it again: YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU! Is ther... (read in full...)

His email to his brother hurts more than his affair

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...

A.   10 January 2018: Yikes, there's some really pathological misogyny at play here. He WANTS to hurt and betray you and get off on your pain?? That is BEYOND messed up and is a major RED FLAG you cannot afford to ignore any longer! He doesn't know what love is! If ... (read in full...)

I feel too shamed to talk to my family

Q.   Sorry this is a lot but I need to get it off my chest as its too shameful to tell my family and friends. I met an ex vet on Instagram. We fell in love through each others art. He lives in the US and I live in the UK. There is a 20 year age gap betw...

A.   10 January 2018: You are being played. I'd be surprised if this guy were even a vet. He's a compulsive liar with serious financial problems and astounding child support arrears. You are a meal ticket to him, and you are a mark for him to use sexually, socially, ... (read in full...)

Did I speak out of turn?

Q.   Hello. My friend has a son and downplays his eating habits. It’s not serious according to her as it’s just a learning disability. He is 10 years old and only eats fast food, usually French fries, pastries or chicken tenders. I’ve seen this almost ...

A.   10 January 2018: On the contrary, you were a true friend to her and to her son. Was it none of your business the food choices she made for her son?? While the people who would say "Yes" would be justified in saying so, I think you did the most loving, the most ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition

Q.   Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...

A.   9 January 2018: Just saw your response: "Problem is when you spend so long with someone, you become used to and comfortable around them." and "Otherwise u have to start the whole process of wine and dine and dating and its just so tedious and long, girls ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition

Q.   Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...

A.   9 January 2018: YOU have issues, buddy. First and foremost, you CAN'T CHANGE someone else. Some people like dressing up, buying expensive makeup and clothes, going out for professional manicures and body wax. Some women go so far as to go under the knife to... (read in full...)

I found my best friends sex tape online

Q.   This is unbelievable. There is a girl I’ve been friends with since we were two years old, and we are now 24. I recently found a video of her on a porn site (one of my friends who met her at a party sent me a link saying it looked like her). It 10...

A.   9 January 2018: If she was a really good friend of mine, there would be NO WAY IN HELL I'd pretend to be anonymous and spoof an email to inform her. I wouldn't judge anyone who wanted to handle it that way, but if it were me, I'd get together with her in person, ... (read in full...)

Feel as though needs arn't being met in relationship.

Q.   I need advice about my current relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we currently live together, but we were really good friends 3 years before we started dating. The past few months I’ve felt as though my boyfrien...

A.   8 January 2018: This one is quite simple, really. You said you've been together for 4 years, and were friends 3 years before that, meaning this guy's been in your life for about 7 years or close to it, right?? This means that when you two got together as frie... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home

Q.   My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...

A.   7 January 2018: Also, food for thought: If he's paying a Mortgage and tax, I would question whether or not he's paying more than you are. Grocery/Food bills can easily match or even overtake a mortgage, especially if someone is a big eater. Unless you live in ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home

Q.   My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...

A.   7 January 2018: WOW. What a complete shitheel he is. He isn't the only one paying bills in that household, and if he's the sole owner to the house, he's really paying HIMSELF and using you to prop the rest of his income. He's shafting you in more ways than one... (read in full...)

How do I handle her cheating?

Q.   after marriage my wife got pregnant third time. she aborted because she did not want three children. but i wanted. i have doubts about this abortion at that time and i was doubting some one in our family. 2. one day my wife had two red marks on...

A.   6 January 2018: I'll say this: I think you might be right. The only time I have ever heard of a wife aborting an additional child within a marriage is if she were cheating, and the person she was cheating WITH looks quite different than her husband, as in a... (read in full...)

We met online a week ago and already love each other

Q.   I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...

A.   6 January 2018: There are only three kinds of men who are that flippant with the "L" word so as to use it within one week if they're any older than 15 years old: 1. They're flakes! They flame on, then flake out and disappear. Love for them extends the length o... (read in full...)

New girfriend wants marriage .... I don't!

Q.   Simple situation, I've recently walked out on a 18 year marriage, we've lived apart or part-time for the last 2 years. We have no children, fury babies only. She has the lions share of income and I was not satisfied in our relationship, we simply ...

A.   6 January 2018: I can answer mystiqueuk's question right off. She's half your age, and most guys don't come right out and tell the little girl they're playing with that, in effect, they're nothing but a passing play toy. Instead, they say nothing except all of t... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home

Q.   My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...

A.   6 January 2018: Money isn't the indicator here. It's TIME. Time is FAR more valuable than money, and you are giving far more of it than he is. Jobs are static, and his military career will not last forever. Will he suddenly pick up 100% of the slack if he's ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin but I want to have casual sex with him. How do I ask for him without coming across as cheap?

Q.   So, I work with this guy and we get along well together. He not necessarily physically my type but his personality os great. He is funny and makes me laugh and even when we get on eachother nerves we still laugh. I feel comfortable and at ease with ...

A.   5 January 2018: I'm with the others! Keep your work and play separate! That's your livelihood and career you'd be putting at potential risk, because a reputation follows you a long, long way. It's not fair and a double standard, but just walking up and asking ... (read in full...)

He's in jail, should I tell him how I feel?

Q.   So, back in March 2017 I started meeting with a guy I’ve liked for ages! We met about 4 years ago because he is my cousins best friend and so he attended a lot of family events and things like that. We have flirted with each other for a long time ...

A.   5 January 2018: If you wanted good advice, you need to be complete with your information. I'm sorry about your parents, but don't get pissy with us when it was your fault for not mentioning their status in your opening post. You're not the only one who has lost ... (read in full...)

He's in jail, should I tell him how I feel?

Q.   So, back in March 2017 I started meeting with a guy I’ve liked for ages! We met about 4 years ago because he is my cousins best friend and so he attended a lot of family events and things like that. We have flirted with each other for a long time ...

A.   4 January 2018: BINGO!... (read in full...)

He's in jail, should I tell him how I feel?

Q.   So, back in March 2017 I started meeting with a guy I’ve liked for ages! We met about 4 years ago because he is my cousins best friend and so he attended a lot of family events and things like that. We have flirted with each other for a long time ...

A.   4 January 2018: Why haven't YOU done a background check on this guy?? They're ultra-cheap (FREE in some cases depending on where he's from), and employers do them on everyone to protect themselves. No WAY this guy told you everything about why he's incarce... (read in full...)

Is this my life now for ever?

Q.   I have been living with an ex girlfriend of mine for 4 years. We are both lonely, and don't have families or friends. I sometimes think is this my life now, we are both nearly 60 years old and are going nowhere. I know I am not as happy as I used to ...

A.   3 January 2018: Man, I feel for you. I too have a chronic condition that makes me fear that I have been cut down from the person I used to be in some areas, even though I know intellectually that this is not the case. You are looking backwards at yourself... (read in full...)

I'm worried about the looks I will get if I buy condoms

Q.   Hi all, Recently, I got together with a guy and well, our relationship has been moving fairly quickly. I absolutely okay with how it's going. So, I was just wondering, he will coming to visit me at my own place (I live near my uni campus), and lik...

A.   3 January 2018: There was a crazy 80s movie called Amazon Women on the Moon that had a segment in it about a virgin buying the fictional Titan condoms for the first time, and it was all about the looks people gave him when he bought them. He was trying to be ... (read in full...)

I get an erection during foreplay but lose it during sex. What do I do about it?

Q.   Every time I try to have sex with my girlfriend i instantly get hard during foreplay but as soon as I am ready to have full sex I lose my erection I don't know what to do I love her very much and want to please her sexually ...

A.   2 January 2018: Honeypie is absolutely correct. I will say that you might want to diminish your porn usage as well if you watch it more than once per week, because your mind can be just as desensitized as your penis when you're used to artificially stimulat... (read in full...)

I hate that my gay friends have been with girls before

Q.   i feel weird cuz all my gay friends have been with girls before or some sorta connection. I feel dumb and alone. At dinner last week we were talking and all 4 of them had sex or girlfriends at some time except me. in lgbt movies its the same thing ...

A.   2 January 2018: I can speak as a girl who seriously dated a man who later in life (long after we broke up and moved several states away from each other) came out as gay. You're not missing anything that you haven't already taken part of. Human connection is the ... (read in full...)

Why didn't my ex have the courtesy to tell me he was getting married and having a child?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I could use some advice. I'm having a difficult time coping with my ex boyfriend getting married and having a daughter. He was married in August and continue to see me casually until one day I found out he was married with a d...

A.   2 January 2018: For whatever reason I can't fathom, he convinced you to end an actual relationship and continue a no-strings-attached Friend-with-benefits situation. By its very nature, "no strings" means NO STRINGS, meaning in his mind, he didn't owe you any ... (read in full...)

I ended things at Christmas and gave each other's presents back, but she is furious about it!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years, but we don't live together. I've been hesitant of her moving in, because in the past she has professed the belief that a man should sacrifice himself financially for a woman. Because of this, we ...

A.   1 January 2018: Huh. You didn't mention how old she is. Your follow up leads me to believe that she may be a lot younger than you are, given that guys don't generally offer cars to women in their mid 50's, and especially for a woman to turn around and throw that ... (read in full...)

He's losing interest. Is he trying to get me to break up with him?

Q.   My boyfriend of nearly a year (it will be a year in February 2018) suddenly doesn't like it when I touch him. I don't mean sexually, I mean casually. I don't understand why. This has never been an issue before. He has been legitimately getting mad ...

A.   1 January 2018: You're in a danger zone when it comes to your relationship, and you're ignoring the signs and minimizing the chief one. He says that you're clingy, and you admit that you are. That *IS* the issue, and is a very big deal. That will cause most of ... (read in full...)

I don't want to continue this relationship but I want my money back!

Q.   I start to resent my boyfriend of 3 years for some money I lent to him in the past. I will explain, he asked me if he can buy a phone with my credit card because his phone was not working at one point and he was having some financial issues. so I ...

A.   31 December 2017: It never ceases to amaze me at the number of women who ignore the fact that their boyfriends have credit issues for a reason. Those financial issues were of his own making, and he had plenty of ways to get his hands on a phone (i.e. lease, pre-pay, ... (read in full...)

How do I stay out of friends argument?

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles, two if my dear friends had a fight, I stayed out of it. The one who's in the wrong keeps insisting I take her side, the one who's right is glad I'm out of it. I keep telling the one who's insistent that I like them both an...

A.   21 December 2017: Yep, I'm with Honeypie. I tell any friend who fights with another one "I'M SWITZERLAND" and REMAIN NEUTRAL. You staying neutral and not talking about it is the only way you will be able to keep both friends both in the short and long run. Do... (read in full...)

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