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Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?

Q.   Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...

A.   15 November 2017: Actually a thank you note sent after an interview, whether or not one gets the job, is almost required by professionals these days. It just shows appreciation for the interviewer's time. It is common courtesy. By all means write one. Good luck on ... (read in full...)

I broke up with my fiancé after 5 years together, she is begging me to come back!

Q.   Hello, We live in one of the bigger cities on the West Coast. Met my ex-fiancee (wow, writing that still hurts) 5 years ago. I run a couple successful tech companies so for the last two years I've been traveling back and forth (spending together...

A.   31 October 2017: According to the Urban Dictionary "the definition of insanity, is, doing the exact same f#%king thing over and over again, expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy." ... (read in full...)

My long distance love wants me to send sexy pictures of myself

Q.   I've been going out with this boy for 2 months now and it's a LDR situation. I knew it was going to be hard to not spend all that time together but I felt I could handle it. Lately he's been asking me to send naughty pictures to him and it m...

A.   25 October 2017: As far as meeting up with him on the 4th, make sure you bring a friend and it's in a very public place. Also make sure others know that you are meeting up with this guy. This guy has sent out some red flags BE SAFE until you have really gotten to ... (read in full...)

Why was he was so mad because I answered his phone?

Q.   Hi. Last night my bf got so mad at me and left my place at 2 am. He fell asleep on the couch while I was watching a movie, around 130 am I noticed on his phone maybe like 10 phone calls then like 10 messages, his phone is always in silence so he ...

A.   25 October 2017: I agree totally with Cindy and Honeypie. And I don't even think cultural differences are a component here it boils down respect for privacy, period. You, OP, had no right to do what you did. Hopefully an apology and a promise to never do it again ... (read in full...)

We broke up because he was obsessed with women

Q.   Looking for some feedback, especially the guys out there, interested in your take on this. My relationship has very recently ended and was a long time coming,This man made me feel uncomfortable, disrespected, less than and so much more. The worst ...

A.   11 October 2017: You didn't say how long you put up with this ridiculous behavior but one evening of TV viewing would have been enough for me. You are definitely going in the right direction and leave him in your dust. Your life and future just got brighter.... (read in full...)

I want more from my friend's girlfriend.

Q.   why do people have friends and when you talk to them and you say you love them and I got a friend he got's a girl friend and I know them for quit some time they are in a relationship and me and my friend his girlfriend are friends put I would love ...

A.   3 July 2017: Since you are good at waiting I suggest you keep waiting until until your male friend says he is cool with you hooking up with his girlfriend. Keep on waiting my man keep on waiting.... (read in full...)

My husband and I are struggling to move on. Any suggestions on how we can resolve this?

Q.   Hi. I am a married mom mid thirties. My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married for 13 years. We have 5 children together. We have had a wonderful marriage up until recent. Back in Feb 2015 my husband started to receive texts fr...

A.   8 June 2017: You wrote: "My husband said he said to himself if you don't want this to go away (the compliments) you have to go do this. I know it sounded crazy to me too but he said it was the truth." He had sex numerous times with her just so she would ... (read in full...)

My husband had an affair a couple of years ago. Should I write to the woman and ask some questions?

Q.   my husband had an affair a couple years ago, he says it is over but I have my doubts. She does not live near us anymore. I want to write her a letter and ask her if he has called her or written her a letter. If he has what has he told her, did he...

A.   7 June 2017: Go ahead write a letter. But I doubt you will feel any better about the situation IF and when she writes you back. The problem is you don't trust your husband. I recommend that you and your husband seek some marital counseling. That is if you want ... (read in full...)

Nearly every man I've been with seems to feel no need to compliment me. Is it wrong that I have an emotional need for a partner who can indicate to me that he finds me attractive?

Q.   Why do some men think it ok to show obvious attraction and lust for women in porn yet not ever tell their wives or partners once that they are sexy or attractive in any way what so ever ? So they not think a woman will begin to feel hurt that he ...

A.   4 June 2017: I'm with the owl, I think you have just met the wrong men. If your partner prefers porn to you then get rid of him don't hang on hoping to change him and bellyaching about it. Lots of fish in the sea. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my fiance how I came up with the name for our unborn daughter?

Q.   Hi guys So I am 29, engaged and pregnant. To be honest life couldn't be better right now. My summer wedding is around the corner and everything's great. Here's my question. Me and my fiance are having a girl and have come up with the best n...

A.   4 June 2017: You better be sure that you are the only one whose knows the history of the name and that you can keep your own mouth closed or it could really bite you in the butt if it ever comes out. I wish you the best whatever you name that bundle of joy.... (read in full...)

We broke up but I want my ex back

Q.   Hi cupids..I might be all over the place but thank you for reading this. So..I keep calling my ex lately and he hasn't been picking up the last few random times. Of course.. he is probably annoyed since I block my calls.. We broke up 8 months ago. ...

A.   31 May 2017: Some times a relationship is so close to what we want and need that we settled for it. Close but no cigar kind of thing. What you had with him might have been something like that. He most likely didn't quite feel as much for you as you did for him. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my fiance how I came up with the name for our unborn daughter?

Q.   Hi guys So I am 29, engaged and pregnant. To be honest life couldn't be better right now. My summer wedding is around the corner and everything's great. Here's my question. Me and my fiance are having a girl and have come up with the best n...

A.   31 May 2017: If the name reminds you of your previous boyfriend then don't use it. If your boyfriend gets an inkling that the name may involve a past love he may have some serious doubts about your commitment to him. Not worth the chance as far as I am ... (read in full...)

Is it over with my married lover? Or is he just cooling down?

Q.   Hello everyone, through common friends I met a guy at a dinner and we clicked instantly. I have been single for 3 years and I'm very hard to connect with someone immediately. We spoke the entire evening and exchanged numbers. The next morning I had ...

A.   31 May 2017: You do realize you are heading down a dead end street don't you? The rejection you fear is right on the horizon. Settling for some man's sloppy seconds is no way to live. Time to cut your losses and take back your life. ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband have this need to tell virtual strangers they are attractive?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs. our relationship was the result of an affair that started as friendship. He is 20 yrs older than me. We have been incredibly happy for 8 yrs. He recently turned 70 and now seems to need attention ...

A.   22 May 2017: If this all started from an affair then it can be assume that one (or both of you) is a cheater and destroyed a relationship(s) to be together instead of going about being single through the honorable channels. Now I am not a believer in "once a ... (read in full...)

How do I seduce my female college professor?

Q.   I honestly think this is fate. I'm a college freshman, I was dreading my 4hr class with a professor I heard was tough and moody. I get to class and it's this young beautiful short girl with big curly hair. I immediately raise my hand and tell her ...

A.   17 April 2017: School Girl Crush google it and learn. ... (read in full...)

Does my Bf really care, after 8 months together if he'll unwilling to hold hands in public and only becomes more demonstrative when he wants sex?

Q.   My boyfriend and I been together 0ff and on, but now we been together for 8 months and when we out and about he dont hold my hand. He still tell people that i am his friend and we live together and he only holds me when he want sex. i can sleep na...

A.   8 March 2017: My husband has never been a hand holder and we rarely kiss in public. In April we will celebrate our 42nd anniversay. But you can bet the farm that he couldn't wait to introduce me as his girlfriend when we were dating. He will cuddle with me ... (read in full...)

Should I go on a trip with my family or to a wedding with my boyfriend?

Q.   I'm struggling to make a decision. I don't want this to sound like first world problems or like a brat. I've been dating someone for nearly 6 months now. We're starting to get more serious and have had a really great relationship so far. The ...

A.   8 March 2017: Definitely take the trip over the wedding. Your boyfriend should absolutely understand. It may be a once in a lifetime trip with your family and he should realize how important that is. In fact, how he handles this will certainly be an indicator of ... (read in full...)

What are the protocols about posting and commenting on the pictures of others on social media? Or am I just being crassly controlling?

Q.   I am coming to social media rather late in life and am confused by the protocols that seem to liberally litter posts with kisses and hearts. So when my girlfriend posts a pic of an event she attended where I wasn't present and someone responds...

A.   20 February 2017: Everything on Social Media has to be taken with a grain of salt. Just like emails/texts, things people say can be totally misconstrued and even have resulted in tragedy. People who get so wrapped up in Social Media will eventually lose some common ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this? Whenever I invite a friend over she invariably does not show up

Q.   I have a friend I've known for several years. She has a very frustrating habit in which she will set a day with me to meet up, and then not show up. I really don't understand how you can simply disregard to tell a person you are not coming and let ...

A.   8 February 2017: I'd do what Youcannotbeserious suggests or you can be classy and listen to Honey and Tish but what's the fun in that?... (read in full...)

We have a 2 year old together. Recently he said no way does he want more children. How do I tell him that I'm pregnant?

Q.   Hiya I've just found out I'm pregnant I haven't told my partner because just last week we were talking about kids and he said no way does he want anyone especially this time we have a 2 year old son I'm so scared of how he's going to react I would ...

A.   7 February 2017: In this day and age accidental pregnancies between consenting partners should be the rare exception. How did yours occur?... (read in full...)

Should I tell the parents of my daughter's boyfriend that their son aged 17 is having sex with my 16 year old daughter?

Q.   My 16 year old daughter revealed to me a little over a month ago that she and her 17 year old boyfriend have had sex. They have been dating for two years and I support their relationship and like her boyfriend a lot, so I am not really surprise...

A.   7 February 2017: How well do you know the boyfriend's parents? ... (read in full...)

I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?

Q.   I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...

A.   2 February 2017: I totally agree with chigirl. Short and sweet and to the point. No comment on your less than appealing attitude towards women just sound advice. Please follow it. We can delve deeper into you issues down the road when you hit more road blocks which ... (read in full...)

Do cheating married men usually have more than one mistress?

Q.   Do married men who cheat, cheat with more than one mistress at a time? Or do some men stay with just one? I am interested in everybody weighing in with their opinions. ...

A.   28 January 2017: You must enjoy all this drama or you would have actually heeded all the great advice you have been given over the years. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-hid-a-recorder-and-heard-breathing-is.html... (read in full...)

My boyfriend prefers to be with my brother and housemate than with me.

Q.   My boyfriend will spend more time with my Brother and Housemate then he does with me. My brother and housemate has been committing on my body appearance lately and my boyfriend doesn't say anything. I use to be extremely under weight but i'm now ...

A.   23 January 2017: Maybe it is time to trade up Honey. Holed up in a room is no life especially at your age. You should be out meeting people and making memories. If you aren't having fun and enjoying life then it's time to change.... (read in full...)

How can an older woman feel sexy when their partner obesesses over girls 20 years younger?

Q.   How does an older woman ever feel good enough or sexy enough especially when her partner is obsessed with watching women twenty years younger than her. I know the usual answer is to ' realise he is with you and if he wanted that he would have that ' ...

A.   23 January 2017:  Does he look at porn or is he an ogler when you two are out and about or is it both?... (read in full...)

My friend won't say if he is gay or bi should I ask if I can give him a bj?

Q.   I've never done it before but I would like to have sex with this guy I know, I think he is bi,but I can't be sure, I stop by his house every one in a while,I never known him to be with a woman since we have been friends five or six years,he spends a ...

A.   22 January 2017: Does he know you are gay?... (read in full...)

How should I handle this situation? I think something is going on between my mom and my husband

Q.   I think there’s something going on between my mom and my husband !! I know this sounds impossible but it seems true !! And I want to get to the bottom of it but don't know how !! My mom's visiting us and it has been here for the past 2 months !...

A.   21 January 2017: Yep time for mom to pack her bags, visiting time is over. She has over-stayed her welcome besides her behavior 2 MONTHS is still way too long for a "visit". Unless she, God forbid, has permanently moved in. If she has a home tell her you would ... (read in full...)

She has decorated my bedroom space with love letters and trinkets and it's suffocating. What can I say and how should I approach this subject?

Q.   I am in quite a new relationship with my girlfriend (just over 6 months) and things have been going well. Although recently she has started to decorate my bedroom with photographs, love letters and little trinkets. It is sweet, do not get me wr...

A.   20 January 2017: Tell her you have decided to turn your bedroom into your Man Cave. Get a couple "Man Cave items" (google it for ideas) maybe even a new paint job, then box up her stuff like Ivy suggested and you should be good to go.... (read in full...)

Is it my fault I got put into the FWB category?

Q.   I've always been a woman that holds myself with dignity and believe that I have a lot to offer a man in a relationship. I am in no way saying this to brag or boast myself but my personality has always shined and others have told me so as well. ...

A.   20 January 2017: Honeypie is right about the pitfalls of FWBs. Many women don't get the rules and there are rules. There is a heap of difference between having no strings sex and being used for sex. Whether there is a double standard in play here or not, some men ... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   18 January 2017: I think you realize that you need to spend some time on yourself, and so you can focus, you need to let go of this relationship. It is only exacerbating your symptoms which indicate a deeper problem(s). Let him read what you have written here so he ... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   18 January 2017: You know that some people are actually happier and enjoy life more if they stay single, right? What exactly does it take for you to feel relaxed in this relationship? I mean can you let him go on a night with the guys without a panic attack? Or are ... (read in full...)

I live at home and my Mum won't let me clean it up, its a biohazard mess!

Q.   It's a long story, but I got laid off from my job last year and I live at home with my mom. I feel like I've failed at life and this wasn't how I thought I would turn out, but this is just background information. What's going on is that I'm ...

A.   18 January 2017: I think Ruby really nailed it when she said your Mom most likely experiences the same level of anxiety if the mess is cleaned up as you do living with it. So the only thing you can do is to try and focus all your energy on finding a job and then ... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   17 January 2017: He will never give you all the attention you feel you need. Give him up and find yourself someone who can. ... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   16 January 2017: If you are indeed the poster that Cindy thinks you are then you already know we think you need to end this relationship. You of course will never do that because of your issues which you refuse to address. Venting is good but therapy is better. Keep ... (read in full...)

I am worried about letting my daughter's father back into her life.

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm a single mum to my beautiful 8 year old daughter and I have struggled in the past but I have always got by. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant with her, and at the insistence of her dad, I went through with the pregnanc...

A.   15 January 2017: oh and that includes all PAST child support all 8 years minus 7 months... (read in full...)

I am worried about letting my daughter's father back into her life.

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm a single mum to my beautiful 8 year old daughter and I have struggled in the past but I have always got by. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant with her, and at the insistence of her dad, I went through with the pregnanc...

A.   15 January 2017: Talk to a lawyer. Set up child support payments and when he is totally caught up with them then you can address visitation rights. I'm betting he will do another disappearing act and that will save your daughter any further disappointments from her ... (read in full...)

He is still under her thumb. What can I do?

Q.   Hello, I am slightly put off and rather upset at the moment. I live in a small town with my boyfriend of almost six years, and he... Well he is always dragging me over to his ex's place, making me spend the night, doing all her "to do" lists, and ...

A.   15 January 2017: Let me get this straight, you are "slightly put off and rather upset at the moment"? Honey you have have been hoodwinked for 6 years. You can stay and let it go on for another 6 years I mean since it only slightly angers you OR you can sort out the ... (read in full...)

How do I even begin to respond to him, when he ignores my good news?

Q.   Hey guys. So I (27yrs) just started dating this older gentleman (45yrs) whom I've grown quite fond of. We've been dating for a few months now. He doesn't outwardly flirt with me, but he use to ask how I was feeling and if I was having a good day. W...

A.   7 January 2017: I'd be more concerned about his marital status than his texting skills if I were you.... (read in full...)

What should I do about my ex-partner and eventually getting him back?

Q.   How do I get my ex boyfriend back?? I was with him for one year but friends for years before that. I have previously been in an abusive relationship(6 years ago) The partner at the time lied and lied to me that he wasn't cheating, to the point...

A.   7 January 2017: You have to get yourself right before you can even begin to worry about getting back in a relationship with him or anybody for that matter. Take all the time you need, you can't rush it or try to fix recovery into a time frame. Tell him exactly how ... (read in full...)

I'm worried that his mother will say something mean in Spanish about me!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. So far he's has met my family but for the most part they like him. But I haven't met his mom yet (I met his younger brother and sister). She doesn't speak english well and I'm really anxious about ...

A.   7 January 2017: Learn Spanish... (read in full...)

How do I even begin to respond to him, when he ignores my good news?

Q.   Hey guys. So I (27yrs) just started dating this older gentleman (45yrs) whom I've grown quite fond of. We've been dating for a few months now. He doesn't outwardly flirt with me, but he use to ask how I was feeling and if I was having a good day. W...

A.   5 January 2017: Say "I remember so well the day my divorce was finalized it was 00/00/00. It was one of the (insert word or words of your choice) days of my life. So when did you get yours finalized?" Then watch him closely as he responds. Of course this must be ... (read in full...)

How do I even begin to respond to him, when he ignores my good news?

Q.   Hey guys. So I (27yrs) just started dating this older gentleman (45yrs) whom I've grown quite fond of. We've been dating for a few months now. He doesn't outwardly flirt with me, but he use to ask how I was feeling and if I was having a good day. W...

A.   4 January 2017: He isn't married by any chance?... (read in full...)

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