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| | loops's profile:Hello I'm loops, I'm almost 21 and I come from England.
Despite my young age I have had a lot of experiences with many of the problems that turn up on this site. I have been in an abusive relationship, experienced cheating, problems with boyfriends with depression and weird ways, ex's being constantly on the scene, and children from previous relationships, which makes me more than qualified to offer advice out!
I am studying Psychology and am currently in a relationship with someone ive been on and off with for a few years now. |
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My heart still wants him but my head says no...
Q. My ex boyfriend and I have broken up after 2 years. He cheated on me once with his best friend (female) and I forgave him. The second time I found out he was dating her at the same time as me and called it quits. Both times did not involve anything ...
A. 18 October 2009: your heart holds on to the smallest amount of hope when you love someone. Im going through this at the minute. I was with a guy who i loved wholeheartedly and was the only person id ever felt so strong about, thought he was the one, wanted the whole ... (read in full...)
I thought we were flirting, but she was getting serious
Q. I have a serious problem I know this girl,she's 22(and has a child) and I'm 18.She really likes me and I like her too.Anyways we started to flirt.This I didn't take serious as I was only joking and also thought she was joking too. Because I k...
A. 2 October 2009: I agree, you did the right thing by not having sex with her. But you do need to be honest with her, and be gentle in the process. Like the guy above me said, she may feel a little hurt and rejected but she would feel lot worse should she think you ... (read in full...)
It's been 21 weeks, and I'm still in agony
Q. Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this..im a 33 year old gal from London, i went through a divorce 4 years ago from the father of my 2 children, until May 27th this year i was living happily with my partner of 3 years. we hit off immediately...
A. 2 October 2009: Hi.
First of all im sorry for your loss.- seems a bit strong saying that doesnt it but it is a grieving process, and its no line that it does take time.
Secondly, youve probably already figured this out but what your doing will not help either y... (read in full...)
3 years since I've been cheated and I can't move on, what's wrong with me?
Q. I went out with a guy for a year and 7 months.. Everything was perfect, till i found he cheated on me.. through his friend. I asked him and he denied.. so i asked him again and he finally told me the truth.. That killed me and i told him i neve...
A. 1 October 2009: You have been lied to and hurt and you obviously find this really difficult. There is nothing wrong with you you have just had your heartbroken and havent managed to get past it. You are 'stuck' so to speak. You are grieving over your failed ... (read in full...)
Another "I need space" story.
Q. Hi, I just wanted to find out if you guys think I should worry or should just move on. I admit that we had some fights here and there. Just recently my girlfriend left for a internship for 5 months more than a thousand miles away and she prom...
A. 30 September 2009: I agree with what the last guy to an extent though im not sure if all girls go through this, im in the opposite situation, it seems to be the guy in my life having the whole need space issue. But the advice the last guy gave you was the best i can ... (read in full...)
If a guy calls a girl "babe", is it meant in a derogotary way?
Q. If a guy calls a girl "babe", is it meant in a derogatory way? I ask this becuase the following quote is found from the following website: http://organizations.rockbridge.net/projecthorizon/signsofabuser.htm "18. Disrespect for Women in G...
A. 22 June 2009: my partner refers to me as babe constantly, but he also refers to his neice as babe etc to him it is just a pet name, as it may be for your boyfriend. If he is abusive, you will know, it goes way beyond what pet name he has for you.... (read in full...)
I told my husband's friend things in confidence and he told my husband what I said word for word!
Q. My husband, "Rick," and I own a own business and decided to contract one of his friends, "Travis." During our first meeting, Travis shared personal information with me about his frustrations with his business partner on another venture. Rick was ...
A. 20 June 2009: As awful as this is going to sound who are you really more angry at yourself or travis. You answered why Travis has given all what you said away to your husband in the first breath because he was more of a friend to your husband than you, although ... (read in full...)
I'm 17. He's 25. People say it's "sick" or just "wrong". Is it?
Q. I have been seeing a guy who is 8 years younger then me, (im 25 his 17) We have been going out now for just over 6 months, but during this time we have had alot of people tell us that our relationship is 'sick' or 'wrong'. Is it really that wro...
A. 15 June 2008: I wouldnt class it as sick, or wrong, it is a bit risky though. At 17 most boys are just starting to experiment with relationships, your a lot older, and probably know what you want, where as he is still getting to know himself, never mind what he ... (read in full...)
Am I too clingy?
Q. Im finding myshelf being a clingy in my new relationship. Im trying to take up most of her free time, and I know that is not good on my part. How do I keep from being so clingy so I dont need up pushing her away? Because I have a feeling that is ...
A. 15 June 2008: I dont have any magical answer for you, but I have done this myself and know how you feel. I have a few things I can suggest that may help
- Talk to her about how you feel, you'd be suprised how much talking things out and explaining things will... (read in full...)
I want him to be my boyfriend, not someone I sleep with - but how do I calm down my worries before I lose whatever we have?
Q. i have recently started seeing an ex boyfriend again, we have been going out, talking and sleeping together, like old times, but are currently not boyfriend and girlfriend, this is his choice rather than mine, as he feels we should take it slow. ...
A. 11 June 2008: was actually him that brought the subject of me moving in up.
I have been decorating his house prior to us splitting up and the conversation had gone on to finishing it, he then suggested maybe in a few months time when i go to uni i could move in, ... (read in full...)
I want him to be my boyfriend, not someone I sleep with - but how do I calm down my worries before I lose whatever we have?
Q. i have recently started seeing an ex boyfriend again, we have been going out, talking and sleeping together, like old times, but are currently not boyfriend and girlfriend, this is his choice rather than mine, as he feels we should take it slow. ...
A. 11 June 2008: like i said in the question, i completely understand all that, in my head, but my heart keeps taking over. How can I completely relax about it, its not through lack of wanting to.... (read in full...)
I gained much weight over the past months and fear a possible pregnancy, how can I calm down?
Q. Okay, I've had back pain, breast tenderness, and i missed a period, but now my period has started back up again, and with FULL FORCE if you know what i mean. I took a pregancy test a while back, and it was negative, but i keep getting these ...
A. 5 April 2008: Take another pregnancy test, and see a doctor. It could be pregnancy but it could be any number of things and if it was pregnancy and have had a miscarrige you NEED to be seen by a gp. Please make sure you see someone as soon as possible... (read in full...)
I have a secret gay relationship with my friend, who is bisexual - and in an official relation with a girl. Scared he will eventually choose her over me!
Q. I'm 16, gay, but havent told anyone.. I recently started to get real close with my friend, he is also my age, we go to the same college, we actually havent been friends for that long, only about 3 months, but we actually became like best friend...
A. 5 April 2008: I may be old fashioned but Bisexual or not this is still cheating. Being bisexual does not give him the right to use both you and her for sex and mess with BOTH your feelings. It is not a good situation for either of you. I understand you dont want ... (read in full...)
Does jumping from one relationship to the next work? My girlfriend of 19yrs did this to me....
Q. My ex left me after 19 years together. I tried desperately to make efforts to sit down and discuss things. But she didnt want to know. Within three weeks she told me she had moved on and had found someone else.That really hurt because I turned up at ...
A. 5 April 2008: Personally no I dont think it does. 19 years is a hell of a long time and takes a lot of getting over, she is possibly using this man as an emotional backbone for a while to see her through the break up. Yes some 'rebound' relationships do go on to ... (read in full...)
When I use the toilet, I get blood. What could be the reason?
Q. I am 27 yr old. When ever I use toilet I get blood. What is the reasons for it?...
A. 27 March 2008: Could be any number of issues. You need to be seen by a doctor.... (read in full...)
Big events or being really nervous gives me diarrhoea...any tips?
Q. Whenever I get really nervous or have some important event etc I get Diarrohea. This can be extremely embarrassing and inconvenient as you can imagine if I am out attending an interview, meeting, important function etc. Any help will be appreciated ...
A. 27 March 2008: Have you tried speaking to your doctor? It is probably just nerves but stress can be a trigger for things like IBS and IBD's. Minus using over the counter stuff there is not a lot I can reccommend, minus maybe seeing someone about how to handle ... (read in full...)
He chose my best friend because she is pregnant with his baby, but he loves me actually. I can only think about how happy we could have been...!
Q. I really like my best friend's boyfriend. I have liked him for about 2 years now and never told anyone about it. We all had a few 3somes together at some point, and me and the boyfriend work together which makes me like him even more. My mate has ...
A. 27 March 2008: I'll be totally honest. If considering she has been such a nightmare he hasnt left ( regardless of the baby- arrangments can be made and its a lot better for a child to have two seperated parents that can concentrate on it than have two parents ... (read in full...)
Anyone out there who's had stretch marks and found a routine or product that helped improve the aspect?
Q. Is there anyone out there that has had stretch marks and found a routine or product that helped improve them? Can you please share it? Also please describe what your marks looked like and how much of an improvement there was. I would really ...
A. 27 March 2008: I was told to use hurrendous amounts of moisteriser to prevent them, and also when they first appear to reduce them. Minus that I don't know. I have a chronic bowel condition and as a result have gained and lost weight regulary over the past year, ... (read in full...)
There's growing sexual tension between us - but he is guy! Help!
Q. Hi. I'm really confused about what's going on between my gay friend and I. I'm a woman, and he's a man and we've always been really close. I've also always thought he was quite attractive but have never made a move simply because he was gay and I ...
A. 27 March 2008: Hmm. This is a tricky situation, you are only between 18 and 21 it can take years to realise what you really are, he may not be gay he may be bisexual, or even straight and the relationship with you has kind of 'brought it out' in him.
I had a simi... (read in full...)
I started my period in August but since I haven't come on, what is going on? Should I be worried?
Q. hii ok well august 06 started my period and now it is january 08 and i havent come on since! i dont know if its anything to be worried about but what do i do...
A. 10 January 2008: I'm 20 and I started my periods at 13,I'm still probably not regular only have been since I went on the pill a few years ago.
If you are worried maybe speak with your mum or a close family member and see your gp but I seriously imagine its just... (read in full...)
Should I be pregnant at this age?
Q. Me and my boyfriend has had sex without a condom loads off times in the past month to hav a baby because last year we found out i was pregnant but got an abortion because we was not ready but now i dont no if i am pregnant now because i hav just ...
A. 8 January 2008: Firstly, Ive never known blood in urine lead to a peroid, so you might want to get checked out. Secondly, just because you have sex without a condom it doesnt nessacarily lead to pregnancy. Thirdly and probably the thing every single aunt is g... (read in full...)
I wake up to having tense feelings in the chest, and miserable thoughts. What IS this??
Q. Hi. Health related question. Some time ago, I used to wake up in the morning, be very tense in the chest area and feel miserable. Recently, this has returned. What is it? Could it be stress related? It seems that lately when I try to sleep,...
A. 7 January 2008: Hi yeah I agree thinking negatively about your ex probably wont help. Im going through this at the moment, though Im guessing my break up has been slightly more recent than yours, ( few days ago tops). I want to call him all the names under the sun, ... (read in full...)
Teachers and students. What is going on with mixed answers?
Q. Any students out there who are in love with their teachers. This one is for you. As I am one myself... I posted this question 5 days ago. In search of an answer as to why there seems to be different advice for male and female posters on many ...
A. 6 January 2008: Oh god no! I wasn't suggesting you were going to. Just showing it from a different perspective, as many people slate teachers in such situations I was just showing the pressure we go through as a profession to such things.
I more than unde... (read in full...)
I am becoming interested in him as he is nice and respectful, but is he too old for me?
Q. Hello, I'm 15 years old, and a 19 years old guy likes me. He's really nice and respectful. I'm becoming interested in him, But I'm thinking it's not right of me. Is this guy too old? [Added] Hello, I've posted a question here recently, But another ...
A. 6 January 2008: Just due to legality it may be wise to wait a while, he is not too old as such, as there is only a 4 year age difference between you, but unfortunatley in your teens, and even early 20's, even sometimes later, a few years can mean the difference ... (read in full...)
I wake up to having tense feelings in the chest, and miserable thoughts. What IS this??
Q. Hi. Health related question. Some time ago, I used to wake up in the morning, be very tense in the chest area and feel miserable. Recently, this has returned. What is it? Could it be stress related? It seems that lately when I try to sleep,...
A. 6 January 2008: Feelings of misery, unhappiness, and other such neagtive feelings can manifest themselves in physical feelings, be it because you stress yourself that much that you lowered your immunity and thus are more prone to feeling ill, or because your body ... (read in full...)
Teachers and students. What is going on with mixed answers?
Q. Any students out there who are in love with their teachers. This one is for you. As I am one myself... I posted this question 5 days ago. In search of an answer as to why there seems to be different advice for male and female posters on many ...
A. 6 January 2008: I AM a teacher. I am female, and I agree with you on a few things.
People will set out to try and reach the unreachable as far as relationships are determined, the bad boy, the teacher, the father of your friend, it doesn't matter there will alw... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this attraction or put it down to being a silly crush?
Q. I have an issue. I am married, but I find myself attracted to one of my co-workers. We have to work close to each other everyday. He is just so sweet,really funny, super nice, and he tells me at least once a day something nice about me to make me ...
A. 6 January 2008: I agree with dr vendetta. If your marrige is going well generally and you and your husband have a good and solid relationship I would put this down to just a twinge of momentary lapse ( we are all human it happens), and remain what seems to be ... (read in full...)
Will he react the same as before?
Q. I'm pregnant. He is not my boyfriend, we used to date, he is 29 yrs older than me. He got me pregnant before and he convinced me to have an abortion, he said we could have probably babies in the future but not at that time. I haven't told him yet ...
A. 6 January 2008: None of us can tell you how he will react cos you quite simply wont know till you ask him.
A few things though, no one should ever convince you to do anything you dont want to do, if you want this baby, then have it, but be aware that it looks like... (read in full...)
My Mom's so selfish, I can't take it anymore
Q. i hate my mum. she so selfish i hate her. she is so horrible to me all the time. i am very depressed, and i have been for about 4 years, but all she ever thinks about is herself, i used to self harm, i got very drunk before school because i was so...
A. 2 January 2008: Firstly, alcohol is a depressant, it will make you feel worse about the entire dire situation you are in, so stop that. You need to be able to think clearly if you are going to manage to stop this situation and stop yourself self harming, you are ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and ready for sex but I don't know if my partner is
Q. i am 12 and are ready for sex but i don't know if my partner is what should i do? Should i just go up to her and ask her...
A. 2 January 2008: Ill state the obvious but you are way under the legal age for sex, you can have sexual activity without having sex and I think considering how young you are having sex is a very bad idea. You need more time to realise if you are with the right ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 21. I have been cheating on him with another guy who is 19. I love both but they are very different and now I'm confused, what shall I do?
Q. ok, im 14 and ive been with my boyfriend for 13 months. i wil call him A. i love him alot, hes 21 btw. i know him well, b4 u ask. i know his bestfrend, and the people who live in his flat. anyways, im kinda cheating on him with this boy who is 19. i ...
A. 2 January 2008: It doesnt matter if your not having sex with them, your still seeing two people at the same time.
You asked for advice we were honest.
By the sounds of things you need to grow up a fair bit before involving yourself in anyone elses lives, especial... (read in full...)
His ex gf is making me feel uneasy! Am I just jealous?
Q. Been with 'my boyf 3 months. We're very happy. However, his ex he split up with him '2 yrs ago is makin me feel uneasy They have a dog 2geva who she see's regularly. So they call and txt regarding that. She vivited im xmas mornin. She sent him ...
A. 30 December 2007: Right, I have been here, and I actually know someone who is in so much of a similar situation im actually wondering if its her im talking to (i showed her this site).
You have plenty of right to be jealous/ uneasy and everything else you are feel... (read in full...)
How do you 'grind' dance?
Q. Okay.This is my first time doing this sort of thing so here i go. A guy i really like is going to ask me to a dance.(at least, thats what he is telling everyone) The dance is in two weeks. my school does alot of grinding and i just don't know h...
A. 30 December 2007: I may be completely off course here but by grinding im presuming you mean hip grinding, where you get really close to someone and you pretty much move like you are almost having sex. However. due to the power of google, it is what i thought but ... (read in full...)
All I do is flirt and talk sexy for harmless fun, yet he sees it as cheating. Am I mad to be with such a man?
Q. I am horrified to find my fiance has been using aliases to make dates with me on chat sites. When he found my first profile i changed it. Somehow he found my other and strung me along. I am livid. How dare he! I feel invaded, he is pathetic. Sad ...
A. 29 December 2007: Im sorry but I agree with your fiancee, best thing to do in such situations is put yourself in the other persons shoes. If my boyfriend had himself down as single on dating sites Id be livid. I agree with mama2three it may seem like harmless... (read in full...)
Specially shaped breasts. Is it embarassing?
Q. Okay,... i find this sooo embarassing! but i have wierd shaped breasts:( i think its called tubular, but it really gets me down and i was wondering if there is anyone out there who knows what i can do to change this, or why it has happened in the ...
A. 29 December 2007: Im not sure as to why it happens in the first place, but my advice considering your age is to talk to someone your close to ( hopefully a parent) about it, and maybe suggest going to see your gp? The internet is a fine place for resources on such ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 21. I have been cheating on him with another guy who is 19. I love both but they are very different and now I'm confused, what shall I do?
Q. ok, im 14 and ive been with my boyfriend for 13 months. i wil call him A. i love him alot, hes 21 btw. i know him well, b4 u ask. i know his bestfrend, and the people who live in his flat. anyways, im kinda cheating on him with this boy who is 19. i ...
A. 29 December 2007: This sounds like a mess. At 14, you shouldnt be going round having sex, never mind sex with 3 or 4 different people at once. Minus the obvious risks of sexually transmitted dieseases and pregnancy, theres a very big one of messing with your own and ... (read in full...)
What would you say, how young is too young?
Q. Right then, I'd just like to ask your opinions on "how young is too young"? I'm 22, and have feelings for a younger girl, she's 15. I don't care about sex, I just have loads of feelings at the moment for her, I feel like she's too young, she ...
A. 29 December 2007: Yes shes too young. at 15 even 16 she mentally will be in a completely different place to you, youve done a lot of the growing up shes yet to do, and I speak from experience ( when I was 16 I went out with a 22 year old). Im now 20 and hes 26 and w... (read in full...)
Can anybody suggest a way in which I find out her real feelings without asking her?
Q. Hey, Please help.. I'd like someone to tell me a way of finding out if a girl likes me without actually going for it, and making myself attempt it with her, when she might not feel the same way. Can anybody suggest a way in which I find ou...
A. 29 December 2007: Yeah unfortunatley there is no real way to find out without asking her. And it may be best for you to just bite the bullet and do it, you only live once after all and you will never know otherwise. Invite her out somewhere and just casually... (read in full...)
He never calls and we only get to talk when instant messaging, is this really real love??
Q. I have a boyfriend, and we've been going out for around a month. he says he loves me, and will never hurt me. the problem is he never calls. i only get to talk to him when we are both instant messaging each other. he is in my science, and amer...
A. 29 December 2007: hmm, tough one. My ex was like this, didn't call and I'd only get a decent conversation out of him over msn. He was that wrapped up in his games and stuff I hardly saw him.My biggest suggestion is to voice your fears. After a month I cant comment on ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me and I was devastated. I started dating another guy and now my ex tells me I threw him away when seeing this other guy and now I feel all confused and messed up, what shall I do??
Q. my boyfriend broke up with me and told me that he wants us to remain to be just friends. he broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. we dated for about 4 weeks. throughtout the time we dated he told me that he likes me alot. we were friends for a ...
A. 29 December 2007: Two things I picked up on in your question 1) the fact your ex says you threw him away is pure rubbish, he got rid of you, therefore you have the right to see who you like and if he wanted you around that much/ didnt want you seeing anyone else and... (read in full...)
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