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... Send PM a private message | | | PM's profile:I'm a computer science and psychology major residing in Toronto. I've suffered a lot of pain in my life and a large part of my life, nowadays, is searching for that which will add to my life. I grew up in an environment that was less than ideal but through a bit of will power and help from certain friends, I've reached a place where I'm much happier in my life. Of course, I'm still going to be pushing for improvement because that's just me. :D |
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Is it normal for a boyfriend to forbid his girlfriend to make new friends?
Q. tottaly dig this girl but she chose to remain in her current relationship. All is fine , I found peace with her decision as i do have a crush. Tho , I would like to know her and hang around as friends, not that strange feeling right ? I don't de...
A. 14 October 2008: I wouldn't say that it's normal, but it's not "unnormal."
If he knows that she's the type of girl who attracts a lot of male attention, then asking her not to hang out with any guys he doesn't know and to not spend too much time with other gu... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to understand that school is important?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for quite a while now, and I have grown attached to him and he has grown attached to me. As much as I love him, I do not think I can stay with him for much longer, December at the most. Why? Because he will not get a ...
A. 14 October 2008: If he's a decent guy then you telling him that you are willing to break up with him over this should be enough to get him moving. However, be prepared for the possibility that even if he does what you ask of him (gets a job to pay for school) that ... (read in full...)
He seemed surprised I'd called him, should I take this reaction as a rejection or see what happens?
Q. I have a male friend with whom I haven't see for about a year and a half, since he moved to a different state. We have kept in touch by emails. I decided to call him to finally make a different contact. He was very surprised and almost speechles...
A. 14 October 2008: Speaking as a guy, it's quite a rare thing for a woman to take the time out to actually call a guy. It's more or less accepted that the guy makes the first move in everything, be it initiating communications or going for the first kiss.
I wou... (read in full...)
I need some consistency, am I being selfish or just realistic?
Q. I love my husband very much but I have been very annoyed lately. His company closed in July '08 and ever since then he has been trying to get a construction company off the ground. I NEED stability and not knowing if he will have work next week much ...
A. 14 October 2008: Well, you are being practical and thinking about your children and trying to be a good mother. However, have you paused to think about whether or not you're being a good wife?
Would a good wife put the needs of her family above the needs of her h... (read in full...)
Is this a trust issue and should or could this effect our future marriage?
Q. my Fiance and I have been together for 1.5 years and are incredibly happy. I have always had a weird intuition about a relationship in his past and just recently found out they got pregnant and got an abortion. He hasn't talked to her since this ...
A. 14 October 2008: I can understand your concern in this since you most likely feel as though you should be able to share in every detail of his past, but I think that is an ideal that cannot really be obtained in real life.
If he were the type of guy who talked a... (read in full...)
How do I approach a woman for a sexual fling with no strings attached?
Q. I am a female, but I am posting this for a MALE friend. So keep in mind while reading this, it's being asked by a male, not me. I'm a 24 yr old virgin (because of where I'm from) and want to know how to approach a woman for a sexual fling, wi...
A. 30 September 2008: It's a pretty big topic to cover.
I would suggest against going to escorts and the like because it is not good for a man's psyche.
If all your friend is looking for is a woman who will have sex with him, then he needs to settle. Tell him... (read in full...)
Do we leave him in the dust and say life goes on?
Q. Hello! Recently i've seemingly lost a bestfriend to his new girlfriend. He has never had a real relationship before (he is now 21) and recently found a 17yr highschool girl that he fancies attractive and fun. A year ago, she was fun and all...
A. 30 September 2008: You can only help those who want to be helped. If you do anything to intervene, if/when the relationship falls apart, he will blame you guys for it.
Let him be in his relationship with her. One of two things will happen. Either they will feed eac... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'm not interested - when I really am?
Q. I am in extreme emotional distress. My friend, whom I have grown quite infatuated with, has just exited a two year relationship; she is not ready for another boyfriend. I suspect however, that she is aware of my feelings for her, for lately she has ...
A. 19 November 2007: I'm curious as to why you feel you need to tell her anything.
If you feel that now is not the right time, then simply wait for the right time. The only problem with waiting is that someone else may come along who will get to her before you do. ... (read in full...)
We went on a couple dates, I thought things were going well when she suddenly stopped talking. What's going on? She's known for starting trouble with people...
Q. Alright so I'm wondering what's going on here, it's probably nothing, but I am a bit curious none the less so any input is apprectiated. In the summer I hooked up with this girl and we went on a couple dates, things went well (or at least I thoug...
A. 19 November 2007: Without knowing more about the details of your situation, my interpretation of it would be that these are simply women who used to and want attention. You say that they're known for causing trouble, which to me says that they enjoy being the centre ... (read in full...)
How does one gain self confidence?
Q. Apparently, as I have been told, I a moderately attractive male; however, I find myself completely at a loss when it comes to self confidence. I am utterly clueless as to why this is for in my mind I am rather vain, at least in regards to my ...
A. 19 November 2007: As with all work that involves change, this can be approached either internally or externally.
Neil Struass says that "With success comes confidence." The basic premise here is to simply practise having conversations with women and as you become b... (read in full...)
I'm worried that he's not attracted to me.
Q. My boyfriend sometimes looks at other girls (like checking them out)- does this mean that he isn't attracted to me or that he would like to have sex with these girls? Does he look at them because he is bored of me? Is it because I am too ugly for ...
A. 7 November 2007: Men are a biologically built to be instantly attracted to a beautiful woman. I know when I see a beautiful woman, regardless of who I'm with, I instantly feel like taking her in my arms. I know that this is just my biological response though. Your ... (read in full...)
Had a fling in NYC this weekend, do you think he will call me?
Q. Ok I know this is bad, but a cute waiter hit on me in NYC this weekend. He could not stop looking at me all through dinner, then when I asked for my check, he said he would pay for it if I stayed (a $200 tab). We went to another bar and ended up ...
A. 7 November 2007: Don't worry, it doesn't sound bad. You're a woman and a sexual being and were simply doing what is in your nature. Society seems like to bash those who are willing to embrace the sexual sides of themselves, which I'm only beginning to see for ... (read in full...)
How do I fix it now?
Q. Hey, my girlfriend and I are in a relationship for about five months now. I'm 19 and she is 18. I admit that I have been clingy, obveously because I love her, but I should have controlled it sooner, because I recently realized that its a turnoff. I ...
A. 6 November 2007: You're right, clingy is not attractive. It communicates inner weakness since it implies that you are not enough of a man to be able to handle life on your own. Another big reason that being clingy can be poisonous to a relationship is that it can ... (read in full...)
All the girls I go out with seem to be bi. What gives?
Q. Over the past year I have had the most confusing relationship experiences of all time. It all seems to come down to one simple problem, all of my girlfriends have been bisexuals. I can't really explain why, maybe it just goes with the personality ...
A. 6 November 2007: "Are all bisexuals insane?"
Only the insane ones are insane, but I think they preferred to be called psychologically disturbed or something slight more euphemistic.
They seem insane to you because you don't understand them so all their action... (read in full...)
She gets drunk and treats me like a king, but sobers up and treats me like a peasant!
Q. People; I am a seriously and totally confused guy. Im a 29 year old guy, and i am totally and utterly in love with a woman 10 years older. I have no issue with the age difference at all. We do enjoy each others company and talk regulary and hav...
A. 6 November 2007: This woman needs you to be a man and take responsibility and leadership of this relationship. I'm not talking about being a jerk or being abusive, I'm talking about making the decisions and making sure that she's being taken care of.
How did I co... (read in full...)
It's illegal but she is chasing after me, how wrong am I?
Q. I'm 18, and a girl I know who is 15 wants to meet up for sex in a few weeks.. I know this is illegal, but she isn't a virgin and it is her doing the chasing. I find her attractive, and wouldn't hesitate if she was 16.. how wrong is it?...
A. 6 November 2007: In a biological sense, it's not wrong at all. Human bodies are built to procreate when they reach a certain level of maturity, BUT that DOES NOT mean I condone you having sex with this girl. If it's illegal for you have sex with her until she's 16, ... (read in full...)
I kissed someone, she forgave me, but will we ever be the same again?
Q. Well i posted on here before asking should i tell my gf about a drunken kiss. Well i decided to tell her b4 it was too late and she obviously didnt react too well she still wants to be with me though. Im not sure on what to do, i love her very much ...
A. 6 November 2007: It's good that she found out through you since at the very least she can trust you to be honest, but you've definitely spiked the relationship. It's unlikely it'll ever go back to the way it was before. Women have a really hard time ever forgetting ... (read in full...)
I don't want to break up, but see no other solution.
Q. Hi, I'm 23, and I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months. I love her, but I don't know if I respect her. I didn't find out until a week into our relationship - 2 years before she met me she had a 1 night stand with 1 of my friends. She said ...
A. 5 November 2007: rcn has nailed how you should be handling the situation, so I'm simply going to try and make sense of the situation for you.
You do not understand this situation because you are a man who is thinking about this logically. Often times, decision... (read in full...)
I love her but she has a boyfriend.
Q. ok, there is a girl that im completly in love with, but she has a boyfriend, im completley in love with her and were best frineds. you can see how that makes it difficult. but she has found out that i like her. i am now talking to my ex-girlfriend ...
A. 5 November 2007: starfairy has made some awesome points, but there are few things that still need to be said.
Women do not get into relationships with friends. If you are her friend then you will never be a bf. Unless she already thought of you as relation... (read in full...)
I'm back with my boyfriend, but his ex keeps interferring, she always there, has she got a sixth sense?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up for ablout 3 days, it was basically a build up of various stresses and busy lifestyle and lack of communication, and also a lack of time for each other and said communication. We're not a couple who break up and get...
A. 5 November 2007: Though it's hard to be sure of exactly what's transpiring here, this is how I read this situation.
His ex-gf sounds like a woman who wants to be with men who are already accounted for, which is not entirely illogical since a man who is attached... (read in full...)
Beyone annoyed at friend of opposite sex who is obsessed and "secretly" in love with me.
Q. help! for quite some time now my best guy friend (Mark)has been secretly in love with me although my friends and I are very aware of his feelings for me. Recently though I have become so annoyed with him but dont know what to do or say. Mark texts ...
A. 5 November 2007: I was once as your friend Mark was, smothering and showering affection on the women in my life that I wanted to be with (which was before I undertook some major changes to my life). It's interesting for me to hear the story told from the point of ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to older men, but I don't want to end up marrying one, help!
Q. in the past 3 years ive been having trobles with guys, im 18 and im attracted to men twice my own age and every time i try to date someone my own age im not attracted to them or we just dont conect and it never works out, i just dont know what to do ...
A. 5 November 2007: If you don't want to marry someone 3 times older than you, then simply don't accept any wedding proposals from someone 3 times older than you. In all likelihood, a man in his 30's is likely not going to be considering marriage if he's dating someone ... (read in full...)
We had a long term relationship, now he's coming back into my life, is he interested in me again or just a friend?
Q. My ex and I dated for 5 years and I broke up with him 3 years ago. We went a year without speaking and over two years without seeing each other. Since then I have seen him a few times (lunch, hang out) usually his idea. Last week he called and asked ...
A. 5 November 2007: It's hard to say what he's feeling without actually seeing him interact with you. Attraction between two people is one of those things that is communicated through body language and voice tone much more effectively than through the written word.
... (read in full...)
Why does he insist on family functions etc.
Q. Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend three weeks ago, after which I found out he'd cheated the whole time we were together ( a total of 2 and a half years, one and a half we lived together). I don't know if he slept with any of those women, but he did g...
A. 5 November 2007: A man who is a sexual being cannot help but be attracted to other women. It is our biological nature. However, this does not mean I condone his actions. If he said he was going to be faithful to you, then he should've stood by his word. I just want ... (read in full...)
I love him, I don't want to feel this way
Q. Recently i lost both my grandparents on the same day with whom i was extremely close to after this extreme blow my father emmigrated to new zealand. I obviously was hurt and lost my mum was dealing with her own greaving and alike my brother was. ...
A. 5 November 2007: A man who's in a relationship with a woman, must be able to provide her with comfort and support every once in a while. If he does not understand this then you need to find someone who does. If you want to stay with him, then you need to either find ... (read in full...)
Should I let her know how I feel?
Q. i recently posted a question which really relates to this one but time has passed and im still in the same situation, i recently told you that this girl i like talks to me when i see her on nights out. her friends come up to me and yell me she likes ...
A. 5 November 2007: lilgirly's got the right idea, you need to go for it, but you have to do it carefully.
This girl's reputation with her friends is at stake here. You say that this has been going on for a while now which means now you have been hyped up. Her frie... (read in full...)
How do I approach him, he does not know I exist.
Q. I really like a guy in one of my classes, but he doesn't know I exist. I have never talked to him ever and it'd be kinda weird if i just went up and talked to him, wouldn't it? What do I do?...
A. 5 November 2007: It's only weird if you think it's weird and end up acting weird. The idea of weird is an interpretation of the event, which means that you put the label "weird" onto the event. If you think it's fine and act like it's perfectly fine then he'll be ... (read in full...)
I'm nuts about my friend, she's so popular, Is this the right way to let her know how I feel?
Q. Ok im crazy for this girl i have known her for a long time and things just kept getting from normal to worse. We have been friends for like a year and a half and we know each other real good. Hses the type who always wants attention always with ...
A. 5 November 2007: Whether it works or not depends on how you present the situation. If you present the situation as "I'm not deserving of you, but let me show you this romantic atmosphere in hopes that you'll want to be with me" then you've already lost. If you ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my girl from laying on the guilt trips!,
Q. Hello all, Well I've been with my girlfriend with seven months now and we have the kind of relationship that I'm sure would make an outside observer a bit ill...lots of cuddling, lots of "I love you"s and "I love you more"s -- in other words, ver...
A. 5 November 2007: That's a rough situation you're in, but totally understandable so I hope I can help. Most women suffer from a fear of losing their partner to another woman. Some think that this fear is biological, coming from a time when if a woman was abando... (read in full...)
Have I gone too far?
Q. Hi i'm 20 years old, happily engaged to an amazing girl and have a daughter that I love so much. I work behind a bar in a busy nightclub and recently a new girl has started her and no matter how hard I try I cant keep her out of my head, and with ...
A. 4 November 2007: Any man with any kind of sex drive is bound to be physically drawn to an attractive woman. It's our biological nature. With that said, you made a promise to be faithful and as a man it's your job to keep your word.
I'm in no place to put a moral ... (read in full...)
21 and have been married for 3 years. He lied from the beginning, I don't think I can love him now. Can't imagine leaving him though...
Q. Ok, I met my husband of 3 years in Highschool. He was the perfect boyfriend. We dated for 2 years before getting married. We got married the summer of 2004 and we did good the first year, had our small fights. The summer of 2005 we found out I was ...
A. 4 November 2007: I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through such a horrible experience already. However, do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT keep your child in an abusive or loveless household. Children are far more observant than most people give them credit for. Your ... (read in full...)
We want to bring our parents in between to talk about marriage, but how do we solve our conflicts first? How to react when she's angry?
Q. I am a 30 year old guy in love, with Long distance relationship since past 5 years. We have never met in person but we both talk to each other on phone. Everything was going fine till this year in January. I had met a girl (Call her A) while ...
A. 4 November 2007: "I am a 30 year old guy in love, with Long distance relationship since past 5 years. We have never met in person but we both talk to each other on phone." You've NEVER met her and yet you're planning on getting married to her? Perhaps I'm miss... (read in full...)
Every girl I like rejects me.
Q. i've never had a girl friend. I'm so desperate to get one. I just wanna be loved. I see my mates in relationships over 3years and they are so lucky to have someone care for them. They have the looks i don't. But i do have a good personality, i've ...
A. 4 November 2007: Your problem is everything about you. You live in a world where you think things operate one way where they really operate the opposite way. I know from personal experience and from the experience of my friends.
I'm going to try and shatter ... (read in full...)
Every girl I like rejects me.
Q. i've never had a girl friend. I'm so desperate to get one. I just wanna be loved. I see my mates in relationships over 3years and they are so lucky to have someone care for them. They have the looks i don't. But i do have a good personality, i've ...
A. 4 November 2007: Your problem is everything about you. You live in a world where you think things operate one way where they really operate the opposite way. I know from personal experience and from the experience of my friends. I'm going to try and shatter a fe... (read in full...)
Am I stressed, or do I have a problem with my boyfriend.
Q. I've been busy at work (working 2 weeks straight without a break) and haven't seen my boyfriend for 2 weeks. When I finally get to see him, I felt really strange. I felt my boyfriend is very distant all of a sudden. Felt that I don't know how to hug ...
A. 4 November 2007: It's incredibly easy for two people to lose the connection that forms a relationship, especially for the woman. A man is usually connected to the woman on an instinctual or somewhat logical basis while the woman is often connected through emotional ... (read in full...)
He leaves me with a choice, break up or make up.
Q. Alrighty me and my boyfriend met online we spent a year on the phone and a year in person living together i moved to cali from nj to be with him i love him very much but we are about to move back to nj and i dont think i am ready for that kind of ...
A. 4 November 2007: To be sure that I'm interpreting this situation right, your bf threatens to leave you when you try to talk about things in your relationship? It's no wonder you're not sure if you want to be him. It's great that your bf is strong about his positi... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do.
Q. I have a guy friend who is engaged.Him and I have become close over that past coupla weeks. He has called me everynight since I have started house sitting and we have spoke on the phone for up to three hours at a time. He tells me he calls me ...
A. 4 November 2007: "1) Dont guys hate to talk on the phone" In general, guys hate talking on the phone. I personally have no problem with it but much rather prefer face-to-face conversations. "2) Does He Like Me" He's a man and unless you are (and no offence)... (read in full...)
Will my ex girlfriend ever come back to me?
Q. I went out with a girl for 3.5 years. It was an intense but happy relationship...She ended it though....Approximately 2 months later we were talking again and was even talking about getting back with each other but she started dating some else and ...
A. 4 November 2007: Friend, it's a big shame that you had to go through an experience like this but I hope that some good will come out of it. First off, why do you want such a woman to come back to you? She does not respect your time and your affection which ... (read in full...)
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