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Online dating guide - with really good advice for you

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...

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Can you change a bad boy?

Q.   Dear cupid, i just want to understand this. Is it possible to change a bad boy. Like he drinks a lot and has two kids with two different woman, he owns his own business and has lots of friend who they enjoy top life.ive seen all this on his facebook ...

A.   9 December 2014: A lot of women want the satisfaction of being the one who polishes a rough diamond and tames a wild beast. They want to be the one who turns a bad boy into Mr Right. They want to believe that what they have with that guy is different form the ... (read in full...)

What does it mean when he says I am his "guilty pleasure"?

Q.   What does it mean if a man tells you your his guilty pleasure? What would it mean to you if you were to say this to someone or someone was to say this to you? How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing c...

A.   6 November 2014: I would describe chips (fries) as a guilty pleasure. No good for my Arteries and if eel guilty after eating them but they feel good at the time. I would avoid any man who describes you as his guilty pleasure. Its a vile thing to say. Bit like tho... (read in full...)

I was drunk and punched my boyfriend in front of his co-workers. Now he's telling me to come get my things!

Q.   My boyfriend is a senior managering director in a company with 750 workers and met me at a social event that my company went to and i work in a factory making pies and at another event i got what you would say had far too many drinks and he did not ...

A.   26 October 2014: Why would your partner put up with physical abuse from you? When men hit women they are seen as dispicable animals who should be locked up but when a women hits men its often perceived differently but it should not be. Get your stuff and leave th... (read in full...)

My family kept asking my much older boyfriend how old he was and now he's not responding to me

Q.   My boyfriend is 14 years older than me and has 2 children of 24 and 26, he is 58 and i am 44 and have no children and the age gap has never been a problem to either of us until i took him to meet my family last week who no joke asked him how old he ...

A.   25 October 2014: Im guessing your parents/family (I am guessing it was your parents as you just ay family) are a bit old fashioned in the whole age gap thing. As you are both well into adulthood and mature enough to know what you want I don't see an issue with the ... (read in full...)

What's the hold up?! Why won't this guy meet me?

Q.   I've been chatting to this guy online for many months now, and I'm really eager to meet him and get to know him more. Every time I ask him when he wants to meet up, he's very evasive and either ignores me or tells me he has too much on his plate at ...

A.   25 October 2014: Sadly its likely to be a case of him having something to hide. Many people who use dating sites do have something to hide. He is likely not to be what he claims to be - ie not quite the six foot two, slender, rakish, handsome guy of 30 with a f... (read in full...)

Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?

Q.   Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...

A.   19 October 2014: Im sorry but your being very naïve and too trusting here. as someone who has used internet dating sites for a number of years I cant tell you he is lying. Mark... (read in full...)

How do I stop beating myself up for my stupidity at spending my money?

Q.   My grandparents sold their house at the start of the year. From the money they got from it, they gave they're grandchildren some of it. I got around £1500. At the time I was in a job that paid horrible money, less than minimum wage. The plan was to ...

A.   19 October 2014: Nora B has some kind words of wisdom for you. Your grandparents have, indirectly, taught you the value of money. Put this behind you BUT learn form it. If you are always disorganised and doing silly or wrong things then NOW is the time to tackl... (read in full...)

Why would he want to be around me if he's going to act stressed in my presence ?

Q.   I'm seeing a guy and he seems to be stressed out when he's in my presence. I hang out with him at his request. He doesn't seem stressed while talking the moments before we see each other. I ask him if everything is ok, he says he's enjoying my...

A.   17 October 2014: Is he awkward generally with people he doesn't know? Is he clumsy and lack the ability to engage in small talk? Mark... (read in full...)

Why would he want to be around me if he's going to act stressed in my presence ?

Q.   I'm seeing a guy and he seems to be stressed out when he's in my presence. I hang out with him at his request. He doesn't seem stressed while talking the moments before we see each other. I ask him if everything is ok, he says he's enjoying my...

A.   11 October 2014: Maybe he has Aspergers our similar condition? That may explain his social awkwardness or stressing about being in your company.... (read in full...)

After 6 years how can I get him to step up to the plate and go for the next step in our relationship?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years, we are 22 and 21 respectively. I just graduated college during which we had a long distance relationship, and I was sort of expecting our relationship to start moving forward after graduati...

A.   11 October 2014: What you need to bear in mind is that although six years IS a long time, the two of you are still quite young and barely into adulthood. Several of the years you have been together were spent basically being teens dating rather than a serious adult ... (read in full...)

I feel like guys don't want to talk to me unless I dumb myself down

Q.   I can't keep a guy's interest after the first night, will someone ever stay around long enough? I meet a guy out in a pub or maybe a friend of a friend and I can hold their interest for the night but after a string of promises that I will get a te...

A.   29 September 2014: The guy you mentioned spent the night with you, without sex, realized he wasn't getting what he wanted (a quick fix to a short term itch) so he decided to go and find someone else rather than go through the motions with someone he barely knew, and ... (read in full...)

Why people assume that this much older man is my husband?

Q.   Why people assume that this much older guy is my husband?? I belong to one club. One member who is 24 years older than me which makes him only 3 years younger than my father drives me there sometimes as we live very close to each other. His daughter...

A.   29 September 2014: Hello I once went to a care home to visit a grandfather with my mother and her slightly older sister. There was a band who were performing for the old timers and granddad, with his dementia, caused a scene that was most embarrassing. After wa... (read in full...)

My LDR has admitted to ongoing cheating. Do I fight for us or sit back while he leaves me for the other girl?

Q.   My boyfriend of 4 years just told me he cheated on text message. He met this girl, got her number, has been hanging out with her, going out in groups, hanging at her house, and having sex with her. He told me and seemed to think that since ...

A.   28 September 2014: He told you he cheated via text? Really? SO nice and subtle then? Ditch this guy! Mark... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks I'm bad at handling money! How can I change his opinion of me?

Q.   My boyfriend thinks I'm bad at handling money and I don't know how to change how to change his mind. He is 22 and I'm 21. I think I'm ok at handling money. Not great but ok. I constantly have not much money because I'm living on a student loan but I ...

A.   28 September 2014: YouWish has offered you some great advice. Do you want a boyfriend or a treasurer? A partner or a parent? Free will and responsibility or someone offering you some of your own money in the form of an allowance? A joint account when you... (read in full...)

Its only been 3 days but I'm worried I'm not going to last on my job because of inadequate training

Q.   I started a new job on Wednesday, this is my 3rd day and despite me knowing and telling myself it's only my 3rd day and things may get better, I can't shake this horrible feeling of not fitting in away. I trained at a previous organisation tha...

A.   27 September 2014: Hello - to be fair many jobs I have had have been the same. Learning to deal with it, finding a personal coping strategy and gaining the confidence to both ask for help when required and being able to fit in with older people is all part of maturing ... (read in full...)

Have a Mega crush on him. How can I get over him, and talk to him in a mature way?

Q.   I'm just going to put this out there straight away - I'm 15 and the guy I am hopelessly head over heels in love with is 22. I think about him all the time, he's the hottest guy I've ever seen and I don't know what to do. He's totally out of my le...

A.   21 September 2014: Op you need to be very careful here, you sound quite naïve to the realities of this situation. You are a child of 15, a minor, a child under the age of consent. You may feel grown up and he may treat you like an adult but you are still very you... (read in full...)

Am a making a bad choice in marrying this man? We do fight constantly. He can be controlling.

Q.   My fiancé and I have been fighting constantly about everything but our last fight earlier today made me question if I'm making the right choice to marry him. I guess I'm looking for an outsiders view as to weather or not I should continue to purs...

A.   21 September 2014: Why on earth are you in this situation with this guy? Why on earth are you considering committing to this for a lifetime? This isn't a relationship, its a dictatorship!! He treats you like a servant - expects you to act as a taxi service to suit ... (read in full...)

He throws the word pregnant at me umpteen times......

Q.   Dear Aunts, There is a guy who I like and who likes me but we are just friends. He shares his dreams, his personal goals and encourages me to try to get the best in life. However lately, he has mentioned that he would like to have kids when he is ...

A.   20 September 2014: You describe this man as being "a guy who I like", rather than describing him as a boyfriend or husband. You describe him as someone you get on with, enjoy the company of, etc but you don't once mention commitment or love. Those are two things that ... (read in full...)

Friends together a long time. Then broke up. Are there factors that suddenly make people unable to stand someone?

Q.   hello there this is not really a dating question but some recent events got me thinking.. Recently two of my best mates broke up for the slightest of reason. They always had been close and inseparable. Always happy in each others company and ...

A.   19 September 2014: People change. Simple as that. Our early to mid twenties is a time when we go through perhaps the most changes as a person, in a different yet more profound way than the changes that occur when we are teenagers. Adult life experience changes ... (read in full...)

Will it help bring us closer and stop us fighting if I become more accepting about his pot use? I don't want to lose him

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He smokes pot everyday, all day. I hate it, but I'll do it every once in a while. I was sober from it for 2 years, up until June, then I smoked with him, towards mid/end of July, I smok...

A.   19 September 2014: A simple way to avoid or stop fighting in relationship is for one person to accept and put up with whatever the other is doing that causes the fights. But stopping the arguments doesn't stop the inner frustration and hurt from eating away at you. ... (read in full...)

His being late makes me feel disrespected

Q.   I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. He was on-time our first date but almost every time after that he is late. I am not talking 15 mins late. I am talking an hour! There have been times when he had decent reason for being late and I just ...

A.   18 September 2014: He sounds disrespectful and rude. I have had a similar situation myself where a GF would constantly mess me around ro turn up late/cancel at the last minute and then say "Mark im extremely busy! I have important things in my life!" In the end I sa... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he see my potential? Is he sexist? Complacent about life?

Q.   I feel like my boyfriend doesnt understand one aspect of my life and I need help explaining this to him. I am going to graduate late next year with a degree in engineering. I have worked very hard with my school and it is because I want to provide ...

A.   18 September 2014: Your post is full of what YOU want and no mention of what he wants or needs. Its basically YOUR way or no way. You both have differing views of where you wish to live, both equally valid, and yet you dismiss his feelings an views and expect him to ... (read in full...)

Two months of dating and now he seems cold and distant..what should I do?

Q.   I will try to make this short and sweet ! I have been dating a man that I really care for ( i am 31 , he is 36) We have been dating a short time..2 months. We have talked about our future..getting engaged...starting a life together its been ...

A.   17 September 2014: Talking about spending a lifetime together and marriage after just two months is crazy! Sorry to be blunt but you hardly know each other. You are still both in the "best behaviour" stage of trying hard, fitting around each other and getting carried ... (read in full...)

I thought I hit it off well with online guy but then he stopped texting. I'd like to know why!

Q.   I met this guy online. We totally hit it off. I am extremely attracted to him. We communicated through text. Then all of a sudden he stop texting me. When we were texting he was working so sometimes He took awhile to respond and sometimes I took ...

A.   17 September 2014: Im afraid this is a reoccurring issue with internet dating. There is plenty of reasons he didn't respond...maybe he met someone else as most people talk to more than one person online, perhaps he lost interest or realized you were not for him or ... (read in full...)

My gut is telling me something is up!

Q.   Ive been noticing some weird behavior from my fience. Hes always kept his phone with him but just recently he put a lock on it when I asked him he said his president (of his club) said he either needed to get a new number or put on lock on his ...

A.   17 September 2014: A lot of people use their year of birth as a phone password. Just saying and not suggesting you should try it for a moment. Also some SIMS work in different phones as the lock is usually the PHONE not the SIM card. Again just saying. Not suggesti... (read in full...)

Why would an apparently happily married person claim that they are in a "complicated" relationship?

Q.   When somebody puts on facebook that they are in a complicated relationship, but they still live together, go to family gatherings together. What does it really mean? Obviously they are still going out as couple but is it that they are having p...

A.   17 September 2014: Another vote for Honeypies answer. Sounds like the person concerned is trying to sound mature and grown up by suggest their life is complex and their relationship involved. In reality they come across as attention seeking, drama queens. Do y... (read in full...)

Which internet guy do I pick? If any?

Q.   Which guy do i choose? Both are from the internet. Guy 1) Met twice, one occasion being going to a restaurant. He paid fully for the bill, i did offer and he joked saying i could pay for desert in this other restaurant. He opens doors for me, (r...

A.   17 September 2014: Chose neither. Pick me instead. I don't have any baggage, well maybe a big suitcase in the loft, and don't have ex wives or go to America. Sorted. Seriously I wouldn't choose either man. Guy 1) Says to YOU he hates texting but cant stop fi... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has overly attached bromance...what do I do?

Q.   Hello everyone hope someone out there can give me some help on this issue i have. I recently started dating a guy who is wonderful andi really do like him. We only see each other about once a week because i work and he lives about half an hour away ...

A.   17 September 2014: Dear oh Dear! Well if you do date Simon Cowell you gotta expect David Walliams to get in on the action! Hmmm personally I would hate that situation. Sounds like this other guy is very insecure, irritating and immature. I suggest looking in the Y... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't give me money for an emergency, only advice!

Q.   My boyfriend doesn't help me in emergency situations when I need financial help but only gives me a bunch of advices. He spends a lot of money for himself to buy luxury goods like Apple IPhone 5 etc. Is he a good partner?...

A.   17 September 2014: Hello, Bah sounds like a real right wrong un. Dump him right now. Seriously - Its a hard one to answer as we don't know how long you have been with him and what you class as an emergency. To be fair your post is somewhat vague. All though th... (read in full...)

I'd like to discover more about this guy at work and have some fun. Can I consider that, and yet not hurt my Bf?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend now for over 2 1/2 years. I love him and that I could possibly have a life with him. But over this past year those feelings haven't been as strong and I've thought about leaving him at times. I have now found out th...

A.   14 September 2014: You cant have it both ways. You cant keep a steady boyfriend and consider a future with him while enjoying "fun" with someone else behind his back. You either split from your boyfriend completely and then enjoy the freedom of enjoying yourself with ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend seems to be lying about porn for no reason.

Q.   Thank you in advance for reading this and answering to whomever answers. I've been with my boyfriend quite a long time now and I found out not too long ago he had been watching porn, I just looked at him and said what's this? And he looked guilty a...

A.   13 September 2014: There is a difference between lying, and having privacy about personal enjoyment. Example - if my mom came home and asked me what I had been doing all afternoon I would of course say "Working from home, catching up on emails, all run of the mill... (read in full...)

Their house cleaning isn't up to American standards -- would an anonymous letter be a good idea?

Q.   We have some good friends who are smart, friendly adults. The only thing is, they seem to never clean their bathroom. For instance the toilet is often disgusting. My theory is that since they both grew up in a different country, perhaps their home ...

A.   13 September 2014: Do you know anyone else who has been brave enough to venture inside the Turdis of late? Any mutual friends to ask for their thoughts. As the Anon Female wisely suggests, you may be the only one who has gone back for a second sitting, as it were, and ... (read in full...)

Did I push this man too much or did he just get what he wanted?

Q.   About four months ago a guy I knew from years ago became friends on facebook. We have mutual friends and I live abroad and he lives in my hometown. Immedtiately in becoming friends he told him he was separated from his wife and that he had a daught...

A.   13 September 2014: He used you for sex pure and simple. He may well still be with his wife too. He was contacting you a plenty BEFORE sex and now he has got what he wanted he ignores you. Charming. Mark... (read in full...)

The teenage (boy) mind

Q.   Hello readers, this is something I think should have a female counterpart, so if you would be kind enough to write one, I'll be happy to give it a view! Well hello friends! This is my second article here, and I'm excited to write it, because it's...

A.   12 September 2014: A great article and very insightful. Actually it could have been written by my teenage self which is quite strange. The thing is that most of what is written in the article made me chuckle as it is, with the greatest of respect, quite naïve an... (read in full...)

Do you think I should've had sex with him?

Q.   Please help me!!! I had been going out with this guy for 2 years until he dumped me round 7-8 months ago. The reason for this was because he asked me if I'd have sex with him and I said no because we're waaayyy too young, (we're both 13) He sai...

A.   11 September 2014: If he loved you he wouldn't pressure you into sex. Look at how soon he left you when he didn't get what he wanted! If he loved you he would be committed to you, not leave you because you refuse to have sex which is both illegal, and could have ... (read in full...)

Do I need to tell guys that I don't shave down there?

Q.   Same person who just wrote in about starting over sexually I just thought this was different enough for a new entry--I don't like to shave or really even trim my bush, I do very minimal maintenance.Once you're at that crossroads, where you're ...

A.   11 September 2014: Hi there, Unless your pubes poke out the bottom of your trousers or flair out of your waist band I don't see an issue. keeping it trimmed to a more "manageable" level is probably a good idea though and more hygienic but other than that you do w... (read in full...)

Their house cleaning isn't up to American standards -- would an anonymous letter be a good idea?

Q.   We have some good friends who are smart, friendly adults. The only thing is, they seem to never clean their bathroom. For instance the toilet is often disgusting. My theory is that since they both grew up in a different country, perhaps their home ...

A.   11 September 2014: Ah my favourite topic....toilets. I never did grow out of the pooh stage!! What they do with their toilet is their business my friend. Personally if I had received a note, anon or otherwise, suggesting my lavatorial hygiene was not up to "America... (read in full...)

His step-dad has banned all sleepovers!

Q.   So both me and my partner (let's call him Alex) are 23 and we've been together since we were 19. I live in shared housing at Uni but Alex is studying from home. After the first few months of getting together we were allowed to stay at each other's ...

A.   10 September 2014: Hi My aunt once told her late husbands friend Tony and his partner they could not share a room together under her roof as they were not married and she was in fact disgusted they assumed when they stayed over that they would be allowed to sleep to... (read in full...)

Could my house be haunted?

Q.   Hi, I know this is a site for love problems and such, but maybe you can help. I know this sounds crazy, weird and stupid, but this thing happened yesterday, so please be patient. I'm a christian and don't believe in ghosts, but yesterday morning ...

A.   9 September 2014: Sometimes I hear someone walking across our landing in the early hours...footsteps and creaking floorboards. BUT I soon realized its only on nights when we have the heating set to come on early. The hot water in the pipes causes the floorboards to ... (read in full...)

I think he's using me -- should I end it?

Q.   So I've been seeing this guy for a year now and he has been unemployed for 8months. He has a visa stay in Italy but he can't find a job cause is hard there. I live in the UK and I've been sending him money and visiting him. But now I'...

A.   9 September 2014: Dear oh dear! Smell the coffee please before you get hit financially and used as a visa to stay in the UK. Why send him money when he is clearly not interested if you are ill or well? All he wants is your money. Clear and simple. On top of that,... (read in full...)

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