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*eterPan agony aunt


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What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).

Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man, woman-kind too ;)

"The request lines are now open!..." (that's Cheech and Chong)

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Oral sex saved for a special occasion?

Q.   My boyfriend has been asking me to give him oral sex for a little while, and I finally brought up the courage to do it for him the other day. It was spontaneous and romantic and everything I imagined it to be. Since then, He has asked me a coupl...

A.   22 February 2012: As the (so far) solitary male respondent, let me say that I agree with the previous posts. After thinking about it a little bit, I agree with the "withholding" statement, as well as self-imposed limitations. But, I'm forced to ask you thinking... (read in full...)

What does he want from me?

Q.   I was with this guy for on and off for 2 years and we broke up about 10 months ago. I was completely heartbroken....This guy has hurt me so much in the past 10 months that we've been broken up. He went from breaking up with me to dating a new girl 2 ...

A.   3 February 2012: He wants to get into your head. He's probably probing around to see if you're receptive to the idea. Unless you're willing to risk it, I would simply move on and counter his questions as "no of your business" (or phrased however you see ... (read in full...)

I think my husband's behavior is strange for a married man but he turns it all on me and my "crazy insecurities"

Q.   How do you kill the old demons? I am an educated, confident woman in every area of my life except with my spouse. We've been together 7 years and most of those years have been good. We get along most of the time, have a fairly good sex life etc. My ...

A.   3 February 2012: Wow... that's quite a story. Personally, I once experienced something similar with my fiancé. To keep the story brief, an ex-girlfriend from college called my apartment (my parents had given her the number since they new her). We chatted for about ... (read in full...)

Dating Sites - Good or Bad?

Q.   Dating Sites..Good or bad? I've got serious doubts on whether dating sites are a good way to meet anyone. I'm not the most outgoing of people and I'm trying to think of a way to get proactive in finding a relationship. (After all, I can't expect M...

A.   7 December 2011: IMO, dating sites are a mixed bag. I was on one for a while... I think... anyway, the one thing that I thought was interesting was how everyone feels compelled to over-inflate the truth about themselves. From personal experience, I recall ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend likes anal sex but it hurts

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been talking about anal sex since after we had vaginal sex. So, it's been about six months now... We had anal sex (barely) once before and it hurt like hell. I ended up crapping blood for a couple days after that. That was ...

A.   29 December 2010: I would highly recommend reading this book. I consider it (and many other by this same author) an excellent reference to understanding how to safely start experimenting with anal sex. http:... (read in full...)

Is my order of protection against my husband valid even though he disappeared?

Q.   i am married, and recently had a baby. My huband and I have been seperated since the night I told him I was pregnant, he kicked me out. I talked to him a few times after that, mainly for him to verbally abuse me and to ask me to get an abortion. I ...

A.   29 December 2010: Definitely speak to a family law practice attorney for clarification on your options. Don't mess around with this at all -- speak to somebody that IS a lawyer and knows what you can legally do without having made contact with him. ... (read in full...)

Lost: Soulmate, reward if found.

Q.   I became involved with a woman seperated from her husband. She was asked for a divorce from her husband and he told her to move on. She met me shortly after and we fell in love. We talked about marriage, having a family together, bought rings for ...

A.   12 November 2010: Definitely give her the space and time. I can only imagine the resentment she's referring to if you interfere with this process. There (literally) would be a clouded "what if" flying over her head, casting a shadow over the both of you. Remem... (read in full...)

Should my g/f wearing a ex's jacket bother me this much?

Q.   Should my g/f wearing a ex's jacket bother me this much? I asked my g/f to drop something off at my place while she was running around and she hops out and is wearing a old b/f's biker jacket when I asked her why she says cause she only has 3 other ...

A.   7 November 2010: It seems that something about this jacket brings out feelings in you -- jealousy of the relationship she once hand with this previous boyfriend maybe? Whatever that issue is, you need to figure out what it is for yourself -- identifying what that is ... (read in full...)

The Center of Her World

Q.   Here is my question, plain and simple. How should a guy approach his girlfriend when she thinks that he is the center of their world? When I began dating my girlfriend, the center of her life was diverse and balanced. She took time to be with ...

A.   7 November 2010: What you describe seems to be codependency. I have been in your situation before where I was also placed at the center of my GF's world (and not by my choice). In the end, that relationship ended, but perhaps yours might need to end. The only adv... (read in full...)

Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf

Q.   GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...

A.   19 October 2010: Your follow-up question... If you can imagine a fetish, chances are it already exists, participants including swingers, exhibitionists and others as well. ... (read in full...)

Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf

Q.   GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...

A.   18 October 2010: If anything, it would be for OUR privacy. Judging by experience, I would assume that those pictures would be exclusively for my eyes only. There is one exception to this rule: if my wife/gf was a nude model for artists or photographers. At that ... (read in full...)

What do you make of my ex's behaviour?

Q.   Guys! need you opinion on this... me and my boyfriend split up about 6 weeks ago.. we rushed into things and moved in together too fast and it was just too intense.. he moved out and went to stay at his nans. we didt speak for a month, then ...

A.   10 September 2010: In a few words, blow him off and move on. It just seems a bit childish to me... maybe a touch of jealousy as well. Unless you've got some particular interest in reviving this past relationship, I would simply chalk this one up to experience and move ... (read in full...)

Never met, year plus, long distance relationship, can this survive??

Q.   I've know my bf for 1yr and some months now. I love him dearly and he loves me. We webcam and chat through internet, yet we never psyhicaly met each other in our lives. Yet his in the next state from me.We really want to be together. Is our ...

A.   5 July 2010: Long distance relationships aren't impossible, but they are difficult. Since you're interacting via webcam, that's actually better than a strictly email exchange. The thing to be cautious of is building a mental picture of your boyfriend that he's ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend takes pictures of other girls! should I forgive him?

Q.   I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been taking pictures of other women. Most recently while we were at the beach he took about 20 pictures of young women from all angles in their bikinis. I'm very upset over this but he says it will ...

A.   23 June 2010: I'm going to guess that he's not a paparazzi or a professional photographer. That said, I'd dare say that if you went poking around his computer, you'd find evidence his some kind of closet voyeur. At this stage, it's up to you if you want this ... (read in full...)

I'm not just a learner driver, I'm a learner in love too!

Q.   Hi im looking for some advice. I have fallen in love with my driving instructor and i need advice in how to tell him that i like him he is single as am i, (hes divorced he was married to my doctor)and i look after my doctors new partners dog. A...

A.   10 June 2010: Seems to me that if you have the excuse to meet him someplace other than behind the wheel of a car, say like a casual lunch... then I would simply start to flirt with him and see if you get some kind of response. ... (read in full...)

Husband cheating says he gets sucked in by the internet

Q.   We have been married 33 years-happily I thought. Last week I discoverded my husband had been chatting online and on a webcam to women. Mostly ordinary stuff but also talk of kissing and brushing hair, etc but not sex. He said it was for friendship. ...

A.   6 June 2010: Believe it or not, but internet addiction is a real issue these days (if you don't believe me, there have been a few different televised programs addressing it). If he is sincerely asking for help and you're willing to help him, by all means do so. ... (read in full...)

My wife cheated and I want a threesome

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years, she cheated on me in the beginning, and said that she cheated so should I, But I told her I would love a threesome with another female and her. She said ok we haven't had one because when it gets ...

A.   6 June 2010: This is probably not the answer your looking for regarding getting your wife to have a threesome with you. Instead, here's an issue that I think that you need to address over and above this particular sexual tryst. I think the thing that gave me ... (read in full...)

I don't understand my anger and whether I should control it or not..

Q.   how do i control my short temper? when someone annoyes me i lash out at him/her and i cant control how i feel... i dont know if am doing the right thing by telling people when they annoy me...or i should just to keep the peace...

A.   29 May 2010: In my opinion, having better control over your anger would be the best, most civilized approach to life. At the very least, you'd have more friends and less concerns about burning bridges. In the professional/working environment, a short tempter ... (read in full...)

Men: How is it that young men are attracted to older women- does he want just 'benefits' with me?

Q.   Need your opinion on this one. I am a woman in my forties. I have a great family:a husband and a 23 years old daughter. I look very young, sometimes people think I am in my mid-thirties. The last few years really young guys started to lik...

A.   29 May 2010: I don't know if it's appropriate to make wide, sweeping generalizations, but it seems like you're looking for that kind of answer. Speaking from experience, I would say that the attraction for an "older woman" might be the usual lack of BS and ... (read in full...)

How do I confront him when I'm guilty of having snooped?

Q.   Ok so basically I did the wrong thing and snooped and looked at my boyfriend of just over a years emails. I had a feeling back in January there was something to worry about when he was constantly getting messages late at night and we had one problem ...

A.   29 May 2010: OK, so you took a less-than-honest way of discovering his cheating. I'm wondering if you had his password or he left his computer on that allowed you to actually see all these messages... No matter -- seriously. I think it doesn't really matter h... (read in full...)

He cheated and thinks I'm blowing it out of proportion

Q.   Need some advice!!! My fiance have been together for almost 10 yrs now,he cheated on me with a lady from a local bar right b4 we were to get married 3yrs ago! I have tried to work past that but he still talks with the woman and just recently I found ...

A.   27 May 2010: I always hate to admit such things, but I think it's time to cut and run. If he is so into this other woman -- fine. Let him be with her and you find yourself somebody that respects you and your values. ... (read in full...)

Wife doesn't satisfy me sexually like past loves...

Q.   my former girlfriend was raw with me in bed,she made me feel that no other woman can give me hot sex,now am married and cant find such satisfaction in my wife,yet i love her,what do i do?...

A.   14 May 2010: This may seem obvious, but have you approached your wife about what you like, sexually speaking? I mean, if she doesn't know what kinds of things you like or the things that turn you on, you can't expect her to read your mind. Most times, it's just ... (read in full...)

Why is my ex prolonging the hurt from the breakup?

Q.   My ex and I broke up almost two months ago. He texts me every so often to see how I'm doing,sometimes I respond,sometimes I don't. The breakup was HIS decision solely, I wanted to work things out...I haven't been inititiating contact with him at ...

A.   13 May 2010: I agree that if he's pressing the issue of hanging out together when you've made it clear that you're not interested or ready, he's simply being annoying and unsympathetic to your needs... I think that it would be best if you didn't entertai... (read in full...)

How do you play hard to get in order to get a commitment?

Q.   Hello Guys, I and my bf have been together for 9 months.. and during those times we had problems but in those time he was the one who always call me or telling me he wanna marry me or texting me.. then after 5 months everything start to change ...

A.   11 May 2010: My first suggestion would be that if your total time together has been less than a year, neither of you should really consider a marriage commitment. I really recommend that you get more time together, really get to know each other. You should n... (read in full...)

Is it appropriate to go to a guys house on a second date?

Q.   BIG question...What's appropriate for a first or second date? I went to dinner with this guy for our first date and now, he wants me to come over his house and he admitted that he was really attracted to him and joked we might end up in bed or ...

A.   30 March 2010: DEFINITELY stick to the public places and avoid being cornered or talked into heading back to his place... until you are completely comfortable with all that might happen (including the sex part) or until you have developed a level of trust and ... (read in full...)

How can tell my man that I'm not cheating or doing anything wrong???

Q.   Hi just quick advice from u would help i been dating my boyfriend over year now and we actually live together and everything is so beautiful between us. i dont hide anything from my man becuz we trust each other. the other night an old friend c...

A.   13 March 2010: I would just be direct and honest like you've always been. The thing that's completely out of your control is who and when somebody makes contact with you, and for whatever reason. IMO, you've done absolutely nothing wrong here and should stand on ... (read in full...)

What does his hug mean?

Q.   I went on a date with a guy i work with and i feel like i am gettin mixed signals bc we kissed during the movie and afterwards we talked for an hour and he gave me a hug and then he texted me afterwards asking me if i was able to come to his friends ...

A.   12 March 2010: I'm guessing (since you didn't say it) -- was this a first date? If he gave you a hug, isn't that good thing? I mean, where you expecting something else? I'm a bit confused myself... but that probably does mean he's sending mixed signals. I would ... (read in full...)

I can't change him back to how he used to be. Any advice?

Q.   i have a boyfriend hes greek, i really dont know much about greek guys. but this one is difficult to handle.we're are turning a year this month. and things havent been going well in our past. it used to be great the few months we were dating but ...

A.   11 March 2010: My first advice would be to find a more mature boyfriend and stop waiting around for him to get a clue! Seriously, you can't change him -- you can't change anyone (and the sooner you realize that, the better your life will be). People will be ... (read in full...)

I'm worried I will end up like my father!

Q.   I'm starting to become scared of myself. My father was a paedophile and had a number of other bad things too, like an large collection of porn and also he tried to rape my mother a few times when they were together. Sometimes I can really feel ...

A.   10 March 2010: I would stress that sexual additions are NOT one of those things that can be inherited from your father. However, having been raised in this environment may have exposed you to situations that might make it seem like you're following in his path. ... (read in full...)

Dating one month and ten days and when he says he loves me it doesn't sound like he means it

Q.   hi i have been dating my boyfriend for 1 month and ten days we make out we kiss nd we hugg but when i tell him i love you he tells me i love you too but he doesnt say it like he means it but when we kiss there is that spark that starts a flame ...

A.   7 March 2010: A month's worth of time is really short for either of you to make a declaration of love, don't you think? IMO, you're both too young to be making adult-like commitments to each other. I'm not denying that it feels wonderful to you both, but there's ... (read in full...)

How should I behave around this man in the office who sent me a Valentine card?

Q.   Hi. I'm a little worried. I separated from my husband last year and have been dating a man from work who I have become very close to during the past three years. We have been keeping our relationship a secret. A few weeks' ago I received some ...

A.   1 March 2010: I would recommend that if you don't know 100% for sure that it wasn't your boyfriend's valentine's gifts, then don't assume that it's the other guy from the other side of the office. After all, don't all three of you work for the same organization ... (read in full...)

Emotionally confused.... Pretty messed up... Please help.

Q.   Hey there, I was wondering if someone could help me in this confusing time. My girlfriend of 4 years just left me for very odd reasons. I support her through everything she does and tell her I love you everyday and that she is beautiful everyday, no ...

A.   1 March 2010: For your sake, I sincerely hope that she's not pregnant. If she is, all this going to do is introduce even more confusion into your already confused situation. Assuming that she's not pregnant, I would really recommend backing out of this relation... (read in full...)

Dry humping... Is she pregnant?

Q.   Can my gf be pregnant? today we dry humped but we were naked, we didn't have protection to go any further, we did it for a short time then we stopped, and i never ejaculated during this time. I'm just worried that maybe the pre-cum can get her ...

A.   1 March 2010: Although it is possible that pre-cum can have enough source sperm for your girlfriend to become pregnant... although, it's all highly unlikely. I don't have any percentages to tell you, but I know it's highly unlikely.... (read in full...)

How can I overcome shyness?

Q.   I'm a really shy person when i don't know people very well, and often find it awkward and don't know what to say, I've heard that this has come off to others as me thinking I am too good to talk to those people but it's not that at all, how can I ...

A.   28 February 2010: I did a very fast google search and found this link that might be useful for you... At the end of the article, there's a section named "Tips For Overcoming Shyness." Hope this helps. ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for an erection to be this sensitive?

Q.   Quick question... I've noticed that when I'm fully erect, my penis is nearly impossible to bend downwards without it becoming very sore. I understand this is meant to be natural, but I feel as though mine is overly stiff. As reference, in most porn, ...

A.   28 February 2010: You're welcome!! :))... (read in full...)

What can I do about a needy potential boyfriend?

Q.   Ok so i met this guy, and he's really really sweet and we have a lot on common, but all i think of him is a really close friend. He knew when we met that all we were gonna be was friends because i'm gay, but after a while he kept asking me if i was ...

A.   27 February 2010: Depending on how comfortable you are with this friend, you need need to have a deep, heart-felt conversation with him. You need to express that you are who you are and that's it. Convey that jokes and conversations to the contrary are hurtful and ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for an erection to be this sensitive?

Q.   Quick question... I've noticed that when I'm fully erect, my penis is nearly impossible to bend downwards without it becoming very sore. I understand this is meant to be natural, but I feel as though mine is overly stiff. As reference, in most porn, ...

A.   27 February 2010: First, you're completely correct -- don't believe all that you see in porno films. With every male, that "angle" is going to be different. The personal variant is how aroused you are: the more aroused, the more stiff. As far as the "snappin... (read in full...)

How can I make my boyfriend realize my worth?

Q.   i've been in a long distance relationship for seven months boyfriend and me both love each other a lot.of late, he has started taking less interest in me, he even lied to me once but i forgave him.we even broke up once but patched up within ...

A.   27 February 2010: Long distance relationships are simply difficult to develop and maintain. People, in general, are very contact oriented. If there's no contact, then it is possible to loose that same level of devotion you might have had being face-to-face. There... (read in full...)

I want to make it work with my husband but can't stop thinking of this other guy!

Q.   Me and my ex-lover Steve broke up almost a 1 year 6 months ago. Since then I have tried so hard to move on and get on with my life but I am finding it really difficult. I hate to admit but there is still a part of me that loves and cares for Steve ...

A.   24 February 2010: OK, the first thing I noticed was that you and Steve didn't seem to have any kind of clear break from each other... you implied it just fizzled out for one reason or another. I'm suspecting it's that reason that keeps him floating in and out of your ... (read in full...)

She cheated on her ex-will she cheat on me?

Q.   I am a divorced man,my career has me out of town for extended periods. I have had three serious relationships including my marriage. Each relationship ended when I caught her cheating. I have now become involved with a new lady, and I feel I have ...

A.   23 February 2010: In my opinion, this relationship dilemma clearly falls in the "leap of faith" category of questions... how do you know that she won't cheat again? Honestly, you don't... But, I will say that I've made a general observation regarding people t... (read in full...)

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