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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 18 December 2015: Well, it happened.
Good luck with the next relationship!
And based on the very limited information you provided here, all I really have to offer in closing is that you might want to examine your own beliefs and criteria, as you apply those to... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 17 December 2015: If you can't figure out how to communicate with her, she blocked you and you are afraid of her emotions then you really do need to let this one go.
You asked a rather odd question in one followup: "what should I be doing to prepare myself emot... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 17 December 2015: When you say she didn't specify, does that mean she refused to answer the question? How did you ask it?... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 17 December 2015: What does she say when you ask her these questions directly?... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 11 December 2015: Well, I guess you've made your decision and don't really want or require any of our suggestions! Best wishes to you!... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 10 December 2015: Your decision to quit dating? Why would you do that?
Just try to find someone local with whom you can connect. This girl isn't going to be your online girlfriend any more, and while that may smart for a while, you will now be available to meet some... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 8 December 2015: It's a wise move because she is moving on and you will need to learn that sooner rather than later. Keeping contact with you will keep you hoping that things will change.
But based on these posts, she's done and not going to change her mind.
Your ... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 7 December 2015: The good news as that it was all online, you aren't likely to run into her at the local coffee shop or grocery store.
... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 7 December 2015: Do you see each other in real life or is this a relationship that has been online only, from the beginning to the end?... (read in full...)
Ladies: If a man sprinkled rose petals at your feet would you have kept them?
Q. Last night spent a night with the woman I've been seeing for about four months, watch the football game together, she really likes football, am a romantic kind of guy, well this morning, ihad her put on a CD, of George Strait, cross my heart, when ...
A. 7 December 2015: Going back to your original post, I think most women would have been fine with spending time in a companionable and happy manner.
Having a sudden and obviously emotionally-laden (for you, not necessarily for me) event of a specific song and rose... (read in full...)
Ladies: If a man sprinkled rose petals at your feet would you have kept them?
Q. Last night spent a night with the woman I've been seeing for about four months, watch the football game together, she really likes football, am a romantic kind of guy, well this morning, ihad her put on a CD, of George Strait, cross my heart, when ...
A. 7 December 2015: Whoa. OP, was this your followup? "Maybe, am over reacting, ladies, am the one who wrote in, maybe I should just, told her to pick them up, throw them in the trash, i don't get it, treat a woman like shit , she loves you, be romantic,, an they treat ... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 7 December 2015: OP, having read your other post now, about her blocking you on IM and the video sharing site? You are both relating to each other online.
So being turned off by women who are interacting on IM and video sharing on their phones ("many girls in this... (read in full...)
Why is my ex, who said we should go NC, reading my online journal entries? Does that mean anything?
Q. I've been recently dumped, like, this week, by my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. She gave some crappy reasons, and I think it's more on the factors of my overreacting to her hobby time. At any rate, she said as she was breaking up with me, that we...
A. 7 December 2015: OP, having read your other post now, about her blocking you on IM and the video sharing site? You are both relating to each other online.
So being turned off by women who are interacting on IM and video sharing on their phones ("many girls in this... (read in full...)
How can I cope with a Boyfriend who is emotionally closed off to me?
Q. Hi hope someone can help my boyfriend is very closed off emotionally We've been together nearly 2 years we never argue and in the summer he moved in with me but the problem is he has never told me he loves me or never shows me any affectio...
A. 7 December 2015: My suggestion that if you want to be with a man who isn't closed off emotionally and will be okay talking with you about things like love, that you find another man.
Does he do things that indicate love and care?
Yes? Then suggest to him that you... (read in full...)
Says she'll miss me so why am I blocked?
Q. Is this a blessing in disguise? I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me. The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and u...
A. 7 December 2015: OP, I have to point something out to you.
You complain "The local girls over here, they're all distracted by social media and text messaging" yet your contact with this LDR is via instant messaging and a video sharing site.
So to a guy who is local... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 7 December 2015: "His family thinks that dinners and gifts and even my trips to visit him are paid by him. But all that to me is OK, as long as every one is happy and it's within budget, it shouldn't matter who pays more or less. I just started seeing too many red ... (read in full...)
I'd rather forgo a single night of pleasure for a month of groceries
Q. Hello cupids, I met a guy on facebook for after 4 years of friendship on facebook. 2 years of stalking from him and 2 years of him letting me know he is amongst my thousands of friends on facebook. While I was on holiday in chicago two year...
A. 7 December 2015: If you hate being friends on facebook with people who make assumptions and presume to invite you to events based on your presentation there, then you need to manage your friends list better. You say you have thousands of friends, you don't know them ... (read in full...)
While hiking during rough weather my boyfriend would go ahead and just leave me. Are men like that?
Q. My boyfriend and I had a week end planned which involved a 3hr hike. The weather ended up being really bad with a storm that hit the country. It wasn't so bad where we had planned to go hiking. It was however very windy and wet. We decided to go ...
A. 6 December 2015: Definitely don't go hiking with him again until you get this sorted out. Ask him why he's leaving you on your own when you are struggling.
I don't think guys are like that. It's not dramatic to expect him to hike at your pace, if you two are the ... (read in full...)
Ladies: If a man sprinkled rose petals at your feet would you have kept them?
Q. Last night spent a night with the woman I've been seeing for about four months, watch the football game together, she really likes football, am a romantic kind of guy, well this morning, ihad her put on a CD, of George Strait, cross my heart, when ...
A. 6 December 2015: Once they'd been on the floor? No, I wouldn't keep them. I've kept a rose from a bouquet for a while but they get all dried out and crumbly, so that's gone. It's the thought that counts, not the actual flowers or petals.
I think you have some unre... (read in full...)
Why is my ex, who said we should go NC, reading my online journal entries? Does that mean anything?
Q. I've been recently dumped, like, this week, by my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. She gave some crappy reasons, and I think it's more on the factors of my overreacting to her hobby time. At any rate, she said as she was breaking up with me, that we...
A. 4 December 2015: What were the reasons she gave for dumping you in the first place?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 4 December 2015: I read something online the other day that applies in this case. "Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do." --Irma Kurtz... (read in full...)
Why is my ex, who said we should go NC, reading my online journal entries? Does that mean anything?
Q. I've been recently dumped, like, this week, by my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. She gave some crappy reasons, and I think it's more on the factors of my overreacting to her hobby time. At any rate, she said as she was breaking up with me, that we...
A. 4 December 2015: So not because she's amazing and wonderful, but just because by process of elimination, she's the only candidate at this time?
You'll never win her back with that attitude. Women want to feel desired, not settled for.
As she's reading your journal ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex, who said we should go NC, reading my online journal entries? Does that mean anything?
Q. I've been recently dumped, like, this week, by my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. She gave some crappy reasons, and I think it's more on the factors of my overreacting to her hobby time. At any rate, she said as she was breaking up with me, that we...
A. 4 December 2015: Why would you want her back?... (read in full...)
Why is my ex, who said we should go NC, reading my online journal entries? Does that mean anything?
Q. I've been recently dumped, like, this week, by my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. She gave some crappy reasons, and I think it's more on the factors of my overreacting to her hobby time. At any rate, she said as she was breaking up with me, that we...
A. 4 December 2015: So, was this a long distance relationship? I'm asking because this sounds a lot like an online relationship's natural demise.
"I've been recently dumped, like, this week, by my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. She gave some crappy reasons, and I thin... (read in full...)
How do I end things with my partner because of the way he treats me?
Q. I cant bring myself to tell my partner i don't want to be with him because of how he makes me feel that he ONE: only is with me until he finds someone better e.g he would say things about other girls that lead to i would just leave you if she aske...
A. 3 December 2015: A great deal of how to deal with breaking up with him has to do with his level of violence. You wrote: "he would get angry and if i am like stop he would do something and be like or sorry i did it by accident" which suggests to me that he's used ... (read in full...)
During our schooltrip we had many private, hour long talks. But at the end he hugged everyone goodbye....except me!
Q. Hello, I try to keep this as short as possible. I am 21 and in my last year of college, hoping to graduate. It's my first year that I have the feeling that I am actually connecting to my classmates. Just a week ago, we went on a school...
A. 2 December 2015: And just to add one more thing, what did your boyfriend suggest might be the school friend's problem when you mentioned this to him? Or is this something you haven't discussed with your boyfriend?
If not, why not?... (read in full...)
During our schooltrip we had many private, hour long talks. But at the end he hugged everyone goodbye....except me!
Q. Hello, I try to keep this as short as possible. I am 21 and in my last year of college, hoping to graduate. It's my first year that I have the feeling that I am actually connecting to my classmates. Just a week ago, we went on a school...
A. 2 December 2015: You have a boyfriend. You've had some problems connecting with your classmates, and the one you wind up feeling something for is handsome. You throw in a very tiny mention that you were molested in the past and that he knows this.
So, from the outs... (read in full...)
Fiancée's attitude makes me sick but how can I leave?
Q. A few weeks ago me and my fiancée of 2 years went to her parents house for her mom's birthday. It was there, her mother told the family she was sick. This is the wonderful woman who put my fiancée through school twice!, bought her a car when she ...
A. 2 December 2015: My brother couldn't handle things when my dad was terminally ill. He would not show up most of the time and when he did he was a blubbering mess. Or he'd pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was happening. This despite dad being in hospice care. ... (read in full...)
Can I tame this player?
Q. Hi. I’m a 23 year old girl and I’m falling head over heels for a boy at my university. The problem is he’s a real player and sleeps around A LOT. But could he be relationship material? He’s literally all I can think about lately. He’s 21 and ha...
A. 2 December 2015: Can you tame him? Nope!
Stop hooking up with him if you want a relationship. Because if you want a relationship, it won't be with him. And you'll be missing out on meeting other guys.
This guy is a time-waster, unless you are so bored you have not... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to send my ex work colleague Christmas card?
Q. I guess this is kind of a silly question but I would like some advice please. I would like to know if it is appropriate to send my ex work colleague Christmas card? Basically at the start of the year, for about 5 monts I worked in a job that I...
A. 1 December 2015: Are you sending this card to her/his home address or to her/his work address?
If you are stressed about this, perhaps wait until after the holiday, or send it right away so it could be considered a thanksgiving type of message, and compose and send... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my father being a heavy presence in my life and the guilt?
Q. My beloved mom passed away 5 years ago. i am married and live 10miles away from my father who is single and has been living in the same house he's been living his whole life. The hose is clean because he has a cleaning lady but in terrible ...
A. 30 November 2015: Stop participating in the fights, whatever they are about.
A reality check, sadly, would point out that an obese heavy smoker and drinker in his 70s doesn't have a great life expectancy. Also sadly, you can't fix his health or his habits to make... (read in full...)
I'm angry that my partner returned the iPhone he found to its owner
Q. What would you do if you found a I phone? My partner found one by his car and it belonged to a woman because it had a case with flowers on to protect it and a photo of her and her fella. My partner said to see if she rang for her phone and if...
A. 30 November 2015: I would do my best to make sure it was returned to the owner.
If you think your partner would use returning an iPhone to its rightful owner as a way to flirt with that owner then you have a lethal relationship killing trust problem.
... (read in full...)
I seem to be suffering from delayed ejaculation
Q. I'm 28 and I've been having sex for a decade now with different partners (not a large amount, I'm not that kind of guy) and a week ago I ended up meeting and sleeping with a new girl in Vegas. We actually hit it off really well and it turns out she ...
A. 30 November 2015: I can't answer the second part of the question.
As for the first part, I think that you can safely assume that a girl will stick with a guy if he makes sure she is sexually and emotionally satisfied by their intimacy. Instead of focusing on your... (read in full...)
How do I know what this guy's intentions are?
Q. Last night wedding. I met a guy he was on the table infront of me. I felt attracted to him but the first time he asked me to dance i said maybe in a bit. I tend to be a bit guarded. Another guy asked me and i turned him down because the other guy ...
A. 29 November 2015: If he keeps asking you to hotel rooms or his place and doesn't take you out, assume he's after sex only.
If you found him attractive enough to ignore other guys and not dance with them then why not give him a chance to prove himself?
How do you k... (read in full...)
What does she mean when she says "we are dating"?
Q. Been seeing a woman for three months, she says we are dating, so what does that really mean, I told her am not seeing any one else, can that mean we can see others, I don't want to, but I don't know if she is, she says she isn't, but I don't know ...
A. 29 November 2015: It means you are getting to know each other, she isn't seeing anyone else and you aren't seeing anyone else. If you have been burnt so much that you can't trust anyone then perhaps you should explore why that keeps happening with a therapist.... (read in full...)
I broke "no contact" after 6 months with my ex-girlfriend, and I'm very confused by her response!
Q. I was with my girlfriend for almost a year, we had some really great times together and as many relationships do, some trying times as well. The last month of the relationship was really odd after she got back from out of town visiting family. We ...
A. 28 November 2015: I'm sorry to report to you that she didn't know how to end things officially with your. She isn't interested in being with you and is not working toward a reconciliation.
I'm sorry you've been hanging on for this long for something that was not goin... (read in full...)
How do I keep my college-age daughter from falling away from our church and family?
Q. I am a proud mother of six children from the ages of 27-10. I am a stay-at-home mom and part-time Sunday School teacher and I volunteer for many church activities as do all members of our family. All of our children attended or attend our small ...
A. 28 November 2015: I'm a bit confused as to your financial situation here. On one hand, you say you are a stay-at-home mom and part-time Sunday School teacher, as well as an active church volunteer. You then go on to say that "There are only a few [colleges] that we ... (read in full...)
I have recently come out as bisexual. Any advice on dealing with homophobic family members with ingrained prejudices, some micro aggression and some homophobic?
Q. I have recently come out to myself and close friends as Bisexual but I haven't to my family. They are not outwardly homophobic but are generally full of micro-agressions and ingrained prejudices. My grandparents are super homophobic and w...
A. 23 November 2015: My advice is that you don't need to explain yourself to people who are bigoted or homophobic or otherwise prejudiced.
Just live your life. If they love and care about you, they will eventually realise that what you want and make happen is best for ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants a tattoo of her dead ex!
Q. How should I feel and/or respond to my girlfriend asking about her wanting a tattoo to remember her dead ex? We have been dating for almost 2 years. I do love her. She had known this ex for a long time before me and describes him as a dear friend. ...
A. 19 November 2015: Grief is a funny thing. It can't be managed, directed, ordered or otherwise handled into what an outsider thinks should happen. It's experienced by each individual on an individual basis.
You think you know how she should be grieving. I'll tell you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants a tattoo of her dead ex!
Q. How should I feel and/or respond to my girlfriend asking about her wanting a tattoo to remember her dead ex? We have been dating for almost 2 years. I do love her. She had known this ex for a long time before me and describes him as a dear friend. ...
A. 19 November 2015: Does she have any other tattoos, or would this one be her very first tattoo?... (read in full...)
I'd be willing to start a real relationship with him, not a FWB, however he says he won't ever get married because it will affect his sex life!
Q. I had a relationship with a guy over 25 years ago. He was very special to me and my first love. We split up and bearly saw each other until a couple of months ago. We went out for dinner and the chemistry between us was very intense. We tal...
A. 19 November 2015: You want to get married. He doesn't. You don't want to be FWB. He is so concerned about his sex life that he doesn't want to get married.
Expecting him to change is about as realistic as expecting you to change. You are on different paths in life... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just want a hook up? Is he testing me out?
Q. So this guy has been flirting with me during this period. He would give me obvious signs that he's interested. He would sometimes stop flirting or talking for days or a week, then he simply comes back and flirts/talks to me again as if nothing has ...
A. 18 November 2015: He's keeping you guessing, flirting then ignoring you, flirting again. He's either playing games, or is a huge flake. If a guy wants to make you his girlfriend, he'd let you know. As he hasn't, assume he's not serious about pursuing you.
Don't get ... (read in full...)
Is ogling a sign of disrespect or am I really overreacting?
Q. A wee bit of background. I am 46 and self-employed and get to travel the world quite often because of my job. Several years ago on a business trip, I met a great guy a couple of years older than me out in Belgium, divorced and we hit it off big ...
A. 18 November 2015: Why would you start up with him again? You have a deal-breaker requirement of no ogling and he's apparently unable to stop. Nothing has changed. Add the comment "of course we had our problems, what couple doesn't, especially in an LDR"... well what ... (read in full...)
In over a year he has never said the "L" word. Is he emotionally unavailable?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from over a year. I travel hours to see him as often as I can, and he does the same. We message daily. After all this time he has never said he loves me. When the topic is brought up, he says he doesn't and if I badger him it ...
A. 18 November 2015: "We argue constantly because I really don't think he cares, even though he says he does."
If you want to be with a man who will express love and appreciation then you are not with the right guy.
I'd stop rowing the relationship boat (thank you to a... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to meet with him in a public place in day time?
Q. I'm 16 and he's 20 and we met online. Before you say I'm a naive stupid teenager I've thought this through oh too many times. It turns out we actually live very close (like same town close). I know he wasn't lying about where he lived because I ...
A. 16 November 2015: You've asking us because you haven't told your parents about him. Does that mean you know you are on thin ice there?
During one of the video chats, I'd say "hang on brb," go get your mom and bring her into the room and introduce her to him.
If yo... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my over-bearing selfish family?
Q. How do I deal with my overbearing selfish family? Do I cut them off or distance myself? I feel like they are being selfish and not respecting me, my husband or our decisions. I am pregnant with out first child and naturally have talked about up...
A. 15 November 2015: You are arguing about daycare for a baby that isn't born yet? Oh my goodness.
One of my friends just received the tragic news that the baby he was expecting with his partner had no heartbeat; the doctors had to remove the dead baby on Friday.
His m... (read in full...)
Have I opened a Pandoras box by allowing my Bf to call me vulgar names when we have sex?
Q. I am having a big issue with my boyfriend. When we have sex he always calls me very derogatory names. I am very offended by this; but in some situations I have went with it, in the moment you know! Have I opened a Pandoras box? I never here I lov...
A. 15 November 2015: "I think that in the heat of the moment you find it sexy to use some dirty words. The thing is that for me, being called **** or **** or **** and especially **** is a big turn off for me. It makes me want to stop having fun in bed with you. Hearing ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend, porn and being rejected because I don't look like the women he likes??
Q. Hello, I've been with my bf for 5 years, and he has a problem with porn. Ever since the beginning of our relationship I was somewhat aware of him using it, nbd really. I didn't know it was so often (and still don't know truthfully because I'm not ...
A. 11 November 2015: You would be a dream mate for a man who wants his woman to initiate. Based on your age range, I'd guess he's been your primary partner for most of your dating life?
I would sadly let this man go back into the dating pool but then the good news is t... (read in full...)
How to tell my Mum by Boyfriend is Bi?
Q. There's a guy I've known for a year from Glasgow who I got introduced to at a mate's birthday party... I'd like to think we're good mates, but we do have a friends with benefits relationship... Only problem is, it was one of his mate's birthday'...
A. 11 November 2015: Does it matter that he's bi-sexual? If he's going to be with you in a relationship, then he's with you and no one else but you. Or is this going to be an open relationship and you and he have sex with other people?
If you are wondering how to talk... (read in full...)
Is this friend trying to phase me out of her life?
Q. I have a lovely dog, who lacks confidence with other dogs but he has a best friend, who he meets regularly to play with. This dog's owner has become a friend over time. She's from a different walk of life from me. My husband and I love our life as ...
A. 11 November 2015: She may just be a clueless woman who has no idea how her actions have affected you. I guess it's possible she's deliberately being a pain in the backside to you? But I tend to go for the clueless type. Especially as you haven't given any indication ... (read in full...)
Issues with boyfriend's family?
Q. Hello. I am having problems in my relationship but I believe it has something to do with myself. My boyfriend's mother allows me to come over at their home and my boyfriend took the invitation as a daily thing. I have told him before how it made...
A. 11 November 2015: Are they concerned for you because you have an eating disorder? Or that you seem to be underweight in some way?
"You are the sweetest and most wonderful family! I so appreciate all you do and have done for me! I am so grateful!
"Alas, due to my st... (read in full...)
In dating, I don't want to be wasting my time if he's not interested! Any suggestions?
Q. Hi Advice please- I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now and he used to reply straight away and now he waits days and says sorry he's been really busy. I really like him, I assume he likes me and wants to carry on seeing each other, b...
A. 9 November 2015: It sounds like the ball is in his court to send a message.
You assume that he likes you and wants carry on seeing you, how you find this out is by allowing him to make the moves to arrange dates and start conversations.
Sadly, in my opinion,... (read in full...)
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