| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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How can I keep safe on New Year's Eve when I will be alone?
Q. I am going to the heart of my city to see theater show on NYE, am catching a bus due to traffic.. is this safe as a single woman alone.? I am alone caching a bus home after the show at 10.30-11pm, before midnights events/fireworks etc.. there will...
A. 11 December 2016: I'm very familiar with NYC and I would advise against driving and parking on NYE there. It is guaranteed to be the most stressful driving experience of your life!
The bus will likely be full of people. If you are nervous take uber or a cab to a... (read in full...)
Is my sexual wish too much to ask?
Q. Dear aunts, I have a gf who i love. I'm straight but a like girls to play with my arse. I just like the sensation. I'm afraid if i ask my gf to try a dildo or a strap on on me will make me less desirable for her. What do you think?...
A. 11 December 2016: Almost all guys I've known like having this done at least on some level, it definitely does not make you gay.
I would imagine most women would just want to know what you like! If you're nervous she'll reject the idea you should start small, l... (read in full...)
I'm not good at sport. How can I convince my BF not to watch me playing sport?
Q. I'm not very good at the sport I play, I'm embarressingly bad. My boyfriend insisted he'd come to one of my games, and he's coming to my game on Wednesday. I don't really want him to come, seeing as he's really into his sport and he'll be pretty ...
A. 11 December 2016: There's nothing wrong with being bad at something as long as you're having fun and passionate about it. I'd personally find it incredibly charming seeing someone I liked continuing to work hard on something they loved. I agree with the below poster ... (read in full...)
Should you date someone you don't find physically attractive?
Q. Hi there aunts and uncles, I've got a bit of a different question today: how important do you think physical attraction is in choosing a partner? I've become incredibly close to a guy in the last few weeks. We seem to be really compatible; we h...
A. 10 October 2015: Can you date someone you don't find attractive? No. But it sounds like you do find him attractive even if physically he isn't doing much for you. There are many ways to find someone attractive and clearly he's doing something for you. If you're ... (read in full...)
Orgasm clarification please!
Q. I'm not sure if I've ever had an orgasm. Everything I read and everyone I talk to always says "you'll just know if you have one." I'm sick of hearing that because it doesn't help me at all. I'd like to know for sure if I'm having one. I'm genuinely ...
A. 22 February 2015: You will have a feeling of release and most people get very hypersensitive right afterwards. An orgasm almost always has rhythmic PC muscle contractions that happen without your control. For women ejaculation and orgasm are not linked in the same ... (read in full...)
Have the tingling of I new outbreak. Could I have infected him due to oral sex we had last night?
Q. Ok I woke up this morning with the familiar tingling pulse of a cold sore. I've always gotten cold sores but much less frequently as an adult. My boyfriend has never ever had one. Any way my predicament is that I performed oral sex on my boyfri...
A. 13 January 2015: HSV1 and HSV2 are different viruses. You can't give him HSV2 if you have HSV1. It is rare but possible for HSV1 to cause genital herpes. In all likelihood he already carries the virus without getting sores. The vast majority of people (70%) carry ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend proposed me a threesome. What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend (I'm 23 and she's 20) have been together for over two years. We're serious, Things are wonderful between us two, we really love each other, and we're living together since a couple of weeks ago. The other day we were talking ...
A. 13 January 2015: Just because you agreed to it initially doesn't mean you're obligated to go through with it. Once you go through with it, those images of what happened will be in your brain forever. There's no going back. If you're feeling jealous now, imagine how ... (read in full...)
I lied about a past relationship and he'll end it if he finds out
Q. So.. My boyfriend and I are great together. We get along, and are very much attached. One problem.. He asked me if I've ever been intimate with a black man. I lied and said no. (we are both white). I ask him what's the difference even if I had? He ...
A. 9 November 2014: Why would you want to date someone who is a bigot?... (read in full...)
Should I give him permission to go out dancing while I go to sleep? Or will it lead him to cheat?
Q. My husband and I are on a 2 week cruise. I do not like to dance but my husband does. Every time we are on a trip, he goes to dance. Is it okay for him to go to the disco on the ship once or twice to dance? Seeing that he likes it and I do...
A. 3 November 2014: If he's not a cheater he won't cheat. Cheating is a choice and this isn't his first opportunity to be alone with women! The question isn't if he will pick someone up for a one night stand, because he won't unless he is already a cheater. The ... (read in full...)
Is oral sex harmful?
Q. My girlfriend gives me blowjobs. Does it is harmful or bad for her???...
A. 2 November 2014: No, but many STDs can be spread with oral sex so you should be tested for them if you don't use condoms.... (read in full...)
Why has he turned off sex, with me, yet initially he was enthusiastic?
Q. Good day everyone!! Im in need of some advice. Im a healthy 36 yr old woman who is engaged to a 32 yr old man that I of course love to death. We have been together for just over 2 years now. And sad to say already having problems in the bedroom. W...
A. 28 October 2014: Wait he cheated on you three times? This guy is never going to change or be trustworthy. He is a player. Just stating the obvious that he is stupid doesn't let him off the hook at all. ... (read in full...)
I was drunk and punched my boyfriend in front of his co-workers. Now he's telling me to come get my things!
Q. My boyfriend is a senior managering director in a company with 750 workers and met me at a social event that my company went to and i work in a factory making pies and at another event i got what you would say had far too many drinks and he did not ...
A. 26 October 2014: Drunkenly punching someone is a dealbreaker. Drunkenly punching someone in front of their coworkers is something you should consider seeking help for, either for your drinking or for anger management or both. That is not acceptable behavior for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me twice so I ended things but now he's begging to come back!
Q. Dear cupid, I'm here again, but I must first thank you all for your tremendous help, I'm glad to be a part of this forum. Pls I seek your advice once again. I've been in a relationship for 7years, and I've lived with him for 2years, my boyfriend is ...
A. 26 October 2014: You know how the saying goes, "fool you once, shame on him. Fool you twice, shame on you." It doesn't matter if every aspect if perfect when a single HUGE thing is wrong. This isn't like clipping his toenails in bed. You made the right call, be ... (read in full...)
Due to my health issues, are there any devices that would allow my husband to enjoy and receive the best blow job?
Q. My husband and I are high school sweet hearts. hey been together for 20 years and married for over 15! We've always had a good sex life and I've always enjoyed oral sex and he has too!!! However; due to a severe case of TMJ (jaw joint issues...
A. 26 October 2014: I second trying a fleshlight on him. They make one specifically made to simulate a mouth. My friend has a similar issue and using one of those really helped "scratch an itch" for her boyfriend. A lot of guys will put some lube on and stick the ... (read in full...)
Why has he turned off sex, with me, yet initially he was enthusiastic?
Q. Good day everyone!! Im in need of some advice. Im a healthy 36 yr old woman who is engaged to a 32 yr old man that I of course love to death. We have been together for just over 2 years now. And sad to say already having problems in the bedroom. W...
A. 26 October 2014: I have to disagree with the other aunts that turning down sex while still masturbating regularly IS a problem. Masturbation on top of regular sex is normal and healthy, but instead of sex could mean he's developing/developed an addiction to porn. I ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want kids, but I don't yet know whether I do or not
Q. My boyfriend is a dad of a two year old who he had with another girl. We have been dating a little less than two years now. He has always seemed ambivalent about having another kid at some point in his life and that was ok with me because I'm not ...
A. 19 September 2014: My two cents, don't give up a guy you know you want for a kid you don't know you want. You may not want them, or you may feel that being step mom to his daughter is enough. But there's no sense in making a big decision right now if you don't even ... (read in full...)
Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...
A. 14 September 2014: I have seen many posts here of men complaining their women are "too experienced" but none (or maybe one?) post from a woman complaining her man wasn't experienced enough. It seems to me that the only people who care if men are experienced are other ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with him but when can I do it?
Q. I have been in a relationship for a little over two years. At the moment he is away and working in the uk whilst I am in Germany. In this time apart I have begun to realise that I haven't been myself in this relationship. I constantly have my ...
A. 13 September 2014: I agree your plan is solid, just call the airline and switch seats. Or better yet, try to get on another flight.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be lying about porn for no reason.
Q. Thank you in advance for reading this and answering to whomever answers. I've been with my boyfriend quite a long time now and I found out not too long ago he had been watching porn, I just looked at him and said what's this? And he looked guilty a...
A. 13 September 2014: I have a lot of porn resources on my profile (in the blue box), I think you would find them helpful to read through:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/person12345... (read in full...)
His ex paid for his college and housing, now she wants him to do the same!
Q. I’m almost 26 and my bf is 27, his ex is 29. A little background first; his ex helped him get through University as a full time student while she took care of the expenses of their house and his fees. When they split up after 6 years of relationship ...
A. 13 September 2014: Sorry I have to agree with your boyfriend here. She spent A LOT of money helping him out through college on the assumption he'd return the favor. No doubt putting a huge damper on HER future plans by losing out on a large amount of money. I don't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend calls me and rants about things, is this normal?
Q. Hi all, I'm dating a man who likes to/ needs to "vent". This is what he calls it anyway. To me, "venting" has always meant something like calling a friend (or even talking out loud to myself in the car) and just saying what's bugging me. Just ...
A. 13 September 2014: This sounds like a huge red flag of someone with an anger problem. He is quick to enrage and blames you for his short comings. He wants to break up, I say good riddance! It is not your responsibility to listen to him scream and curse in your ear and ... (read in full...)
We have feelings for each other but he's leaving for Iraq soon.
Q. Basically a good friend of mine is going to fight in Iraq an I've started getting feeling for him. We want to be together but we also both know that it's close to impossible since we already live so far away from each other. I'm confused an don't ...
A. 13 September 2014: I think you should put your feelings on hold until he returns. Four years is a very long time and it's hard to survive being apart even with a solid foundation of a relationship underneath. It would probably be very frustrating and upsetting to try ... (read in full...)
She's using me as an excuse while she cheats again!
Q. Just looking for a bit of advice please. It's it a relationship problem as such. I have been friends with a girl for about 6 years now. Quite close. About 2 years ago I distanced myself and didn't speak to her because she was messing about behind ...
A. 10 September 2014: Your "friend" is a narcissist and it's time to end the friendship. If you don't feel able to stand up to her, just be passive and stop taking her calls/texts/emails. It is not your job to enable her self-serving behavior!... (read in full...)
My B/f waits for me to fall asleep after sex and then proceeds to masturbate!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in a one year long distance relationship with my boyfriend we love about six hours away and we see each other about once every two months. Whenever we have sex he later waits for me to fall asleep and then proceeds to mastu...
A. 8 July 2014: I'd be pretty upset too if my boyfriend masturbated RIGHT after sex, it would seem like sex wasn't satisfying. I agree with YouWish, is there a chance he's faking?... (read in full...)
Boob size and pain issues! Normal?
Q. hey I m 22. I recently noticed that my left breast is bigger than the right one. Is this normal and can being in a sexual involvement cause this? Also both my breasts pain a lot for 3 to 4 days every month? what could it be? please help me ......
A. 8 July 2014: A variation of up to a cup size is normal. Pain is normal with hormonal changes, so if it comes at the same time every month, I wouldn't worry about it. If it's random or extremely painful, you might want to have it checked.... (read in full...)
Self conscious about my little belly. How can I hide that part of my body during sex?
Q. We have been together for six month and had not sex yet. He is my firstboyfriend and I really like him. Few days ago we almost had sex but I wasn't ready because I feel very self-consious because I hav a little belly. how can you hide belly du...
A. 6 July 2014: What guys think about during sex is usually some variation of "oh my god sex I love sex this is awesome." What guys don't think about during sex is "wow she's got some cellulite/love handles/tummy going on."
Everyone is self conscious about th... (read in full...)
Etiquette for sex and periods??
Q. I have recently got a new boyfriend, everything's going well, but I have a question so looking for some advice for people in the same situation. We have a lot of sex, which is great, I'm loving it, especially after having none for a good few years...
A. 27 June 2014: Give him some warning and then it's up to you two to decide. Some guys aren't comfortable with it, some women aren't, it's just a personal decision. I like sex on my period, the extra blood flow helps. Generally I put a towel down and avoid any girl ... (read in full...)
Should I enjoy my Gf's amazing personality and hope that she'll make the decision to lose weight so that she can become more physically appealing?
Q. So I'm 22 and recently I've started talking to this girl who is 18. When it comes to a personality she's everything I could possibly ask for. But as far as looks she has a really cute face but she's pretty overweight. It sounds pathetic on my p...
A. 11 June 2014: I think you should just say you're interested in being friends. If you're not attracted to her, then there's no point in continuing. If you enjoy her personality you can always just be friends. ... (read in full...)
Should I introduce this married woman to my wife?
Q. I am married. I met this woman some time back. She seems to be very interested in me. She is married. We used to share lot of sms and our own photos. Recently I told her that she is looking good and if we were not married then I would have asked for ...
A. 28 May 2014: You should cut contact with her, you are headed down a path to cheat on your wife and you will devastate two marriages. With time your feelings for her will fade.... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 12 May 2014: You already know snooping is wrong. But what you also found out is that your boyfriend likes to masturbate to photos of 15 year old girls. And not only that, but ones he knows. That's really quite sick. Boys will be boys isn't an excuse for ... (read in full...)
My fiancee didn't tell me that he's frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is involved!
Q. I need help. My fiancee didn't tell me that he is frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is going on. I am devastated. He says that he went there for relaxation but i can't see how going to prostitutes is a form of relaxation. ...
A. 4 May 2014: You did the right thing, he was cheating on you and justifying it by saying they were paid to do it. I'm so sorry that happened. Right now you just need to take time for yourself. Cry, be upset, talk to your friends and family, and then keep ... (read in full...)
Has "nice guy" become a derogatory term?
Q. It seems like when you call someone a "nice guy" it seems as if it has some sort of negative connotation to it as if it is synonymous with loser, wimp, geek/nerd, pushover etc. basically anything that would be viewed as unattractive to the opposite ...
A. 3 May 2014: Nice guy takes on a negative term as a label some guys apply to themselves as to why they can't attract any women. Usually bitter and lonely and desperate and anything but "nice." To most people nice means caring for other people but most ... (read in full...)
Men: is this a real belief?
Q. Question for the gentlemen only please :) This doesn't actually relate to me as such, but it's something that I heard and thought was ridiculous. I was talking to my male friend and we were discussing girlfriends and things and I ask...
A. 6 April 2014: If he's not joking he's a complete nut. How the heck could bra straps POSSIBLY mean that.... (read in full...)
Why do guys not commit to the girl they were with, but with the next?
Q. Why is it that every guy I have dated, is now in a serious relationship, or engaged? But while they were with me, they did not take me serious at all. I was a good girlfriend, I prob could have i?mproved in some stuff. But above that why do guys do ...
A. 2 April 2014: Because you weren't a good fit. I like the shoe analogy below. Sometimes you can do things to make the shoe fit, stretch it, wear thick socks, put on bandaids, but in the end, it just doesn't fit no matter how much you want it to or try. You can't ... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad a boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. This is a work related problem and I could really do with some advice. I work in lovely public relations company and head up the consumer team of about 4. Since summer it has just been me and one other up until month ...
A. 18 March 2014: Someone used company time to go look for another job AND used company email to say nasty things about her boss? She needs to be gone, that is not acceptable behavior at all. Incredibly disrespectful and frankly incredibly stupid. If she wants better ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: Lots of guys do this, it's just misogyny pure and simple. They make some horribly sexist comment "look at those dykes" and then when you get offended they go "geez why can't you take a joke!" as though you are the one at fault. You're not, he is. ... (read in full...)
Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 11 March 2014: If someone is living in an apartment 5-6 days a week they are living there and need to pay rent, unless he NEVER uses the common spaces or bathroom.... (read in full...)
Do men have sex with women they aren't attracted to?
Q. This is a question for the men: would you sleep with someone you weren't attracted to? I was recently shocked to find out that a very attractive male acquaintance of mine had a one night stand with a very unattractive woman. This has lef...
A. 11 March 2014: Maybe she had a very sexy personality.... (read in full...)
Do guys really find squirting to be a turn-on, or was my partner just too polite to say it grossed him out?
Q. I'm in my mid 20's and I've known I was a squirter since I was about 19/20 due to masturbation. But despite having a couple of sexual partners and previously being married, I have never felt comfortable enough to squirt with any partner despite ...
A. 2 March 2014: Every guy I've talked to about it says it's a huge turn on, why would he lie about it? What motivation would there be? Just put down some towels.... (read in full...)
Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while?
Q. Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....
A. 26 February 2014: One thing I've noticed in a long term relationship that what also tends to happen is that as sex gets more familiar, the guys all seem to stop trying so hard. Foreplay kind of goes away and seduction turns into basically the guy saying/showing "hey ... (read in full...)
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