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*higirl

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*higirl's profile:

Im shocked to discover that I've written well over 9000 answers on DearCupid! As the years go by, I never seem to lose interest in the lives and love troubles that goes on around the world.

Latest articles:

How to avoid being used financially

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...

What I've learned from my family.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...

How one person changed my life

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...

1234567891011Next > [223 pages, 8896 answers]

My profile was on a dating app...

Q.   I have a long term partner of many years , with whom I'm really happy. About a year ago we were chatting in bed about dating in general, and how hard it must be to meet someone suitable, etc.We'd just been watching one of our favorite TV programs...

A.   22 August 2018: No, dont make fuzz about it. You removed it once someone informed you. No harm done. If someone tells your wife, and she confronts you, then inform her of the details. Its no big deal, so dont act like it is a big deal. If you make a huge fuzz about ... (read in full...)

Did I just get used for sex?

Q.   So I've known this guy for a while and last week our texts turned sexual and he said do I want to meet with him. So we met we were kissing, we held hands we had a good time. Then he asked if I wanted to have sex with him I said I couldn't because I ...

A.   21 August 2018: Sex on the first date? Yeah, it was a booty call. It was a booty call even before you met up, with the texts being sexual. A man who wants to date you will NOT send texts of a sexual nature. At all. He would text you about everything other than sex, ... (read in full...)

I'm wasting the prime of my life. What should I do?

Q.   Hello all, I've been in a rut for 8 years now and can't shift it. I'm alive but not living I guess. I have no drive or ambition. I can't remember the last time I thought yes I really wanna do this. Problem is I don't know what I want nothing ...

A.   7 July 2018: Your whole life is your "prime". Just wanted to remind you of that.... (read in full...)

Sex hurts!!

Q.   Okay so I started dating this guy a while back and recently we decided to have sex. The first time it was bad, it didn't want to go in, when it went in it didn't go in all the way and it hurt really bad and I ended up bleeding. So we waited a while ...

A.   7 July 2018: Is he large? Sounds like 1. you arent wet enough and/or 2. He does not produce enough lubricant or 3. He is too big for you. Try buying lubricant and use it in plenty. See if that help. If not, he is just too big. You can, theoretically, adjust to ... (read in full...)

Online dating isn't working for me

Q.   I have a question regarding online dating. Why is it that I am getting stood up so much? I have been on a few dating apps for 6 months and have only successfully been on one date. I find a common pattern when I get a conversation started. I get her ...

A.   6 July 2018: I have no idea. ... (read in full...)

To have sex or not ever have sex?

Q.   Mod note: combined posts Why are people hypocrites when it comes to sex? And by that I mean, I am a 26 year old virgin and my friends tell me to wait and how my virginity is such a great gift. They will tell me I am lucky to be virgin, that sex ...

A.   29 June 2018: Sex is great. They are just telling you all that stuff so you can feel better about it. They try to be supportive of you. But no, they dont regrets having sex, obviously. They love it, as they admit themselves. The idea that men love virgins is from ... (read in full...)

My partner doesn't help with the new baby, is overpowering and dominant, and abusive when drunk. I've had enough of him!

Q.   Hi all, I am at a crossroad in my relationship/life. I had a beautiful baby month in January this year. He is my pride and joy. However I am now seeing a side of my fiancee that i hate (i know thats a strong word) I'm not sure I love him or want to ...

A.   29 June 2018: I just want to say that staying with him only because he is the father of your child is not a good reason. Not at all. What is best for your child is a good environment with a heatlthy parent(s). Even if that parent is a single parent doesnt matter. ... (read in full...)

I ask women I sleep with about their opinion on abortion because I don't want kids. How do I know the girl I'm seeing is on the same page?

Q.   So I met a wonderful girl online and we hit it off really well. We kissed on the first date, had lunch on the second, and ended up sleeping with each other on the third when she invited me over to her apartment for pizza and a movie. We used ...

A.   27 June 2018: ... Abortion is not to prevent having a kid, that is what condoms are for. If you dont want kids, use condoms. Dont mix apples and oranges here. Not wanting kids, and not wanting abortions, are not mutually exlusive. One can say no to kids, and yet ... (read in full...)

How do I ask for a sex toy?

Q.   I want a sex toy because, I'm a 17 year old girl now. I know after I ask I'm going to say, think of it this way, I'm still a virgin. Most people my age aren't anymore. But the problem is, I have to ask my dad. Not a mom. How do I do this? I'm ...

A.   27 June 2018: If you want a sex toy, you need to wait until you are old enough to get it on your own. In the meantime, take off the shower head and use the concentrated water pressure for stimulation of the clitoris. It works about 10 times better than any toy ... (read in full...)

I'm at my wit's end about my boyfriend's constant complaints!

Q.   My boyfriend is a loving, faithful and caring person. We have been in a relationship for 6 months and dated for 6 months before that. We have good communication, friendship, chemistry and sexual compatibility. Everything is great except for his ...

A.   27 June 2018: Nope, people never change. You need to decide if this is something you can accept in life or not. And I dont think he has improved, more likely you have just grown accustomed to it.... (read in full...)

How can I change my life after a break up?

Q.   I have broken up with my partner of 6 years. It turns out we both want different things in the end. I've broken up with her so many times that the grieving and then getting back together is just exhausting. It feels like there's no end. I'm pretty ...

A.   13 May 2018: Q1: First of all, she might try to come back to me after a period of time, by which i will probably be raw and be tempted to take her back; how can i make sure i don't? Answer: Remind yourself of all the shitty things she's ever done to you/othe... (read in full...)

I’ve messed up the relationship with my siblings and am heartbroken. Is there any solution?

Q.   My heart is breaking. I feel so left out in my family and so envious of the closeness between my brother, sister in law, sister and bro in law. I’m the oldest, bro and sis younger, bro 3 yrs younger, sis 8 yrs younger. Both are married,...

A.   21 March 2018: Even if you werent close growing up, you still can become close. But it will take time and effort, and generosity and an interest from both sides. You can not force a relationship or friendship. But you should not have regrets and believe that this ... (read in full...)

I'm feeling under pressure and trapped.

Q.   Hi all, I have an issue really bugging me at the moment and beginning to stress me out. I'll give a little bit of backstory: I'm 26 years old, recently gotten together with my first ever GF and everything was going swimmingly and I was very ...

A.   21 March 2018: Did you ask her to marry you? If not, then why do you think shes the only girl you will sleep with for the rest of your life? You are not trapped, you are free to break up with her any time you want. ... (read in full...)

The only time my girlfriend has orgasmed was with an ex boyfriend.

Q.   We're together for a few months, our sex is great but she can't orgasm with me. I asked her why and she said she can't orgasm and that she had just one orgasm in life once with other guy in the past. I'm very jealous and insecure about that and d...

A.   20 March 2018: Read up on female orgasm, please. If you think its related to your penis in any way, then no wonder you cant make her orgasm... Second, buy her a vibrator. ... (read in full...)

Money mean son is refusing to bring his family to a family vacation.

Q.   My youngest son has a good job with the US Postal Service. He has a wife and a daughter. His wife is a nurse. The problem is he is really tight with his money. I think he goes overboard with being tight with his money. He has always been tigh...

A.   13 March 2018: Yes, pay for them.... (read in full...)

Family and friends want me to present as more "girly girl."

Q.   I’m a girl, I’m not really girly but I don’t dress like a guy either. I just prefer to wear normal casual clothes like a crop top a bomber and nice jeans, vs heels and dresses. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t judge people that do but they seem to judge ...

A.   13 March 2018: Stick to your own style. ... (read in full...)

Do I have to be a bad boy to find love?

Q.   I met some one new, my question is, so do I act like my self,which is a gentleman, kind of guy who opens doors, says nice things, I keep hearing from my friends that am too nice, act like I don't give a hoot, my friends say she will like me more, so ...

A.   9 March 2018: Be yourself, but with self respect. Dont be taken for a fool. There is a difference between being nice, and being used.... (read in full...)

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Is this old saying true?

Q.   Is it true what they say, that once a cheater, always a cheater? I mean if a wife forgave his husband for having cheated on her for a year and a half, are there chances that after 2 years he will cheat again? What are your thoughts or experiences on ...

A.   9 March 2018: He didnt cheat just once, so he cant claim a lack of judgement or passionate moment gone too far. It was an affair of 18 months. Planned. Deliberate. Knowing to his fullest what he was doing. Not under the influence of alcohol. And it was ... (read in full...)

How do "average" couples have sex? How to politely avoid ejaculation?

Q.   How do "average" couples have sex? How to politely avoid ejaculation? By that, I mean those who (if filmed) don't look like porn videos (pro or amateur). I can't find anything online about how less adventurous couples have sex. I'm probably co...

A.   9 March 2018: Yes, guys can warn you. And then they can just pull out before ejaculaing. But honestly, you should work on why it weirds you out. Sounds like a mental hang up that you should take seriously and not let control you. Do you by chance have ocd?... (read in full...)

I like him but can't take the disresect anymore.

Q.   Hi. I met a guy recently and we stared talking online . He said he is looking for something serious with me and is not here to waste time. At first I tried to invest my time in him by answering his calls in the morning and at night which ruined my ...

A.   9 March 2018: This guy is clearly not mentally well. Why on earth would you even concider a relationship with him?... (read in full...)

What if I’m not his first?

Q.   I've recently fallen in love with one of my guy friends who has been in love with me for 8 years but I never felt the same until now. I don't know for sure if he's a virgin or not, he's very good at somethings but feels a little "shy" in others. ...

A.   5 March 2018: I dont see why youd think you own him just because hes been in love with you all these years. As you said, he has had relationships before, so he obviously has been able to find others interesting also. Why should he not have had sex with them? No, ... (read in full...)

My fiance lied to me about his health

Q.   Dear cupid , Ive been engaged for a year now , my fiance and i we're supposed to get married at the end of this year , but last minute he drops a bomb on me saying that he has financle issues he needs to take care of and cannot get married this yea...

A.   4 March 2018: Many countries have laws against this: hiding medical information from your spouse. He was to marry you, so he should have been upfront about his medical condition. Especially as it could mean he may never be able to father children. He lied to you ... (read in full...)

Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?

Q.   My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...

A.   22 February 2018: You are exaggerating. It is perfectly normal for a man to enjoy anal sex with his female partner, as in your case. It doesnt HAVE to be with a man. For goodness sakes, just because the dildo looks like a penis, doesn't mean he actually wants a penis ... (read in full...)

I don't have a partner, it makes me sad. What am I doing wrong?

Q.   I am 32 and single for nearly nine years. At this time of the year my loneliness feels suffocating and I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope with the fact that there is no telling whether I will spend the next nine years or more alone.Given my ...

A.   16 February 2018: I met both my ex and then my current boyfriend online on dating sites. Met many more perfectly normal and handsome men there too for dates. So give me a break with saying how its not you or how terrible it must be. Youre being judgmental, and online ... (read in full...)

Any advise on what I can do to feel more relaxed while trying to learn and do my new job?

Q.   Pls help! I have issues with anxiety and panic attacks. I have recently joined this new firm where most of my colleagues are from the best schools and are really smart. It's great that this opportunity had come through and the job is something tha...

A.   14 February 2018: Stick to it for at least two months and then ask yourself if this is the right place for you or not. Anywhere new would still be intimidating after only two days. ... (read in full...)

Is pregnancy a normal turn on for a man ?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together about 6 months and we have a pretty normal happy relationship. Decent sex life and I love him and care for him dearly. I see a future for us. There is one thing that always comes up though recently. Pregna...

A.   14 February 2018: Its just a fantasy / fetish of his. Nothing to worry about, unless you find it a turn off. In which case it just means you are incompatible. ... (read in full...)

Can a relationship that started out purely for sexual hookups actually amount to more.

Q.   A year ago I started a purely sexual relationship with a friend of my ex bfs. We had both just gotten out of relationship so we were only looking for a hookup. It was suppose to be a one time thing but turned into regular hookups. They were amazing ...

A.   13 February 2018: Yes. ... (read in full...)

He's driving me crazy, how do I get him out without involving courts or police?

Q.   I'm back again with another question. I asked my last question in Novemeber, long story short, I was asking why I didn't want to marry my fiance, and I got most answered that suggested talking to him. So I did a few weeks later and told him I didn't ...

A.   13 February 2018: Tell him you break up with him. And that he needs to leave. There is no staying together and living separately in this case. End it.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is a great guy and good looking but I'm not sure that I fancy him

Q.   Hi, I have a problem with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do about it. We've been together for 3 months and I absolutely love him - he's kind, attentive, loyal and loving and we get on really well. He's become my best friend. The pr...

A.   8 February 2018: PS. As a reply to the anon poster who said it's a catch 22 situation: it't not. Yes, there are fights in passionate relationships. But how do you imagine you will not turn into a bitch yourself if you get fed up and constantly annoyed by your ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is a great guy and good looking but I'm not sure that I fancy him

Q.   Hi, I have a problem with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do about it. We've been together for 3 months and I absolutely love him - he's kind, attentive, loyal and loving and we get on really well. He's become my best friend. The pr...

A.   8 February 2018: .. You say you love him? Uh-oh, you don't. Nothing wrong with not loving him, you're not obligated to love him just because he's good looking and he likes you. Doesn't mean you HAVE to like him back. He's just not your cup of tea. And there's ... (read in full...)

Is my friend jealous?

Q.   Hey aunts! Can someone explain what’s wrong with my friend? We met in high school and we became really close. She always had boyfriends but I was always the single friend. So as time went on she got into a two year relationship while I got my 1st b...

A.   8 February 2018: I'm going to write what I believe is her point of view, or what could be her thoughts. Just a wild guess. You post cheesy love poems on facebook? To just push everyones face into it and show off? Yeah, that's really over sharing and would ma... (read in full...)

How can I deal with racist comments?

Q.   How can I deal with racist people ? I am a European ( originally born in chech) and came here at 3. I have been in the states for 27 Years my life has been shaped here - I love this county and never want to love. I can not identify with people and ...

A.   4 February 2018: You know what, people are ignorant. That's why they say these stupid things. Don't take it to heart, because it has nothing to do with you. It only says something about their level of intellect. Really. They haven't traveled abroad, they don't know ... (read in full...)

Do we ever stop dreaming about our ex boyfriends?

Q.   Why can’t I stop having dreams of my ex boyfriend? It’s been two years since we broke up and with a good reason. Why can’t I just forget about him like I have with my other bfs? Is it because I dated him the longest? ...

A.   17 January 2018: Is it daydreaming or night time dreaming? If by night: it means you have unresolved issues with yourself that came to surface in association with your ex. If daytime dreaming: means you want a relationship and you think of him as hes the latest one ... (read in full...)

I'm getting married soon so why am I thinking of this other guy?

Q.   Hello, a few days ago i went to a family wedding with my fiancee. Everyone had a great time and got on well, it was brilliant! Only problem is, my cousin brought a friend with him who i now cant stop thinking about. We found we had a lot in com...

A.   17 January 2018: Look, humans arent wired to be with just one lifetime partner. You will still find others attractive and interesting. No matter how great things are at home. To get married and staying faithful is a choice you make. Not just something you do by ... (read in full...)

I want marriage and children, is he wasting my time?

Q.   So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years we both have crazy work schedules so I suggested that we get a place together somewhere located centrally Between both of our apartments.In my mind it’s the perfect solution so we can spend more ...

A.   15 January 2018: He is wasting your time. But you should have talked to him about the future, marriage/kids from early on. Like, when you were just dating. Some say it's too early, but people in general tend to know what sort of relationship they are aiming at. ... (read in full...)

Is there a way to make up for our different dimensions?

Q.   I had my eye on a guy at work for quite some time. He’s my age, works out a lot - has a great smile and easy way about him that I liked. But most of all, we have great chemistry. In fact there’s always been some sexual tension between us. A ...

A.   14 January 2018: Didn't see your update. Seriously, you want to try a relationship? I would not recommend it. It'd be one thing if you had feelings for him and then discovered his size. By then you'd have worked out whether you were in a relationship or not, you'd ... (read in full...)

Is there a way to make up for our different dimensions?

Q.   I had my eye on a guy at work for quite some time. He’s my age, works out a lot - has a great smile and easy way about him that I liked. But most of all, we have great chemistry. In fact there’s always been some sexual tension between us. A ...

A.   14 January 2018: This was a booty call to you. Nothing else. If you wanted a serious relationship with him, you wouldn't have started it off by jumping straight to bed. You had a nice flirt and you wanted sex. People, as a rule, do the things they want. Action ... (read in full...)

How do we reconcile our differences over children?

Q.   Dear Cupid. So I’m sitting here in tears (currently hormonal) because my partner of 3 years has just told me during a conversation about cars and the future, and me wanting children in 2/3 years time as i’ll be 27-28...(I’m currently 24, 25...

A.   12 January 2018: At his age, a lot of men dont want kids. If you want them now, or you want a relationship first and then a few years later kids, then find someone else. If he doesnt know now, there is no guarantee he will know later on. Find an older, more mature ... (read in full...)

Some advice on circumsision please

Q.   I'm nearly 26 years old and uncircumcised. In my country, only a certain religious group practice this. But now I hear it can be done as a medical procedure and it is beneficial for hygeine and is actually recommended by WHO. Am I too old to do it ...

A.   12 January 2018: It is not beneficial for hygiene. Youve lived with foreskin all these years now. So far, have you had any troubles because of it? No? Then dont do it. Removing foreskin will make you lose sensitivity and any operation includes a risk of infection or ... (read in full...)

I'm addicted to cheating

Q.   Well my life is the biggest mess ever im in two relationships one long distance and one local. Yet i keep dating other guys and girls i just cant seem to stop cheating. What is wrong with me ? I have been abused alot by men i dont know if that has ...

A.   12 January 2018: What do you mean by "abused"? If you could give more info, it would be helpful. ... (read in full...)

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