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Latest articles:

How to avoid being used financially

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...

What I've learned from my family.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...

How one person changed my life

This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...

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He looks at naked women online but said he'd leave if I posted nudes of myself!

Q.   I want to post nude pics of myself on an amateur site . It excites me to imagine men getting off to pictures of my naked body . My husband is against it and says he will leave . He looks at other men's wives naked and at porn . Why is it ok for him ...

A.   21 February 2017: I agree to it being a double standard. But would it really help you fulfill your fantasies if he stops looking at porn? Or are you only interested in doing this because he looks at porn? I dont see how you can fulfill your fantasies AND have a h... (read in full...)

Does she still want this wedding?

Q.   Just a quick question? Me and my partner are due to be getting married in october this year not a big expencive one but one we can offord we have put deposits down for most things but now all of a sudden shes saying we cant offord the wedding so i ...

A.   20 February 2017: It sounds like she has cold feet and isn't sure of what she wants. I think, if she wants to cancel the wedding, you need to sit her down and have a good talk with her. If she's not happy and excited about marrying you now, then why would she be n... (read in full...)

Should I ask if we are boyfriend and girlfriend?

Q.   I have been dating a guy I met on tinder since December. We seem to get on really well and I feel that we always have good dates. After the 10th date, we slept together and have slept together a few times since. We have now probably been on...

A.   20 February 2017: Do you want to be exclusive? Do you have feelings for him? Or would you like things to be open? As it stands, it appears you are in a relationship already. These things don't always need to be discussed, in most cases they flow naturally. But some... (read in full...)

Is he right to be annoyed? He was asleep, while I watched porn. He said that what I did was a form of cheating

Q.   Okay so My boyfriend always takes the mick out of me that I want sex too much. I do like it every day but I don't think that's a problem.. Anyway, that's not the issue. Last night he fell asleep when he knew I was horny, which isn't reall...

A.   19 February 2017: He does not have a right. But the thing is that he is feeling emasculated. According to male code of conduct, you're not a proper man if you can't take care of your womans sexual needs. So he feels like crap because he doesn't have the same high sex ... (read in full...)

Should I really start planning a future with him?

Q.   Hello! My boyfriend and I are both 20 and met at his hometown in Denmark in October before we took the relationship to long distance. So far he was my first everything-my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and my first time having sex (i don't regret ...

A.   19 February 2017: PS. Denmark is a lovely country. I am day dreaming of having a summer house there. I have family in Denmark, and as a kid I went there many a summer vacation. You will find it very different from the states, but it is an affordable country to live ... (read in full...)

Should I really start planning a future with him?

Q.   Hello! My boyfriend and I are both 20 and met at his hometown in Denmark in October before we took the relationship to long distance. So far he was my first everything-my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and my first time having sex (i don't regret ...

A.   19 February 2017: I say go for it. But also have a Plan B. Don't go there JUST for him. Go there and be happy for YOU. If you can see yourself following through with the plans of moving to Denmark, living there, findinsg work there, even WITHOUT your boyfriend, then ... (read in full...)

Am I too old to make positive changes in my life?

Q.   I'm just going to preface this by saying that I know I may receive answers that I may not want to hear, but I just need honest answers so that I can have closure. When is a woman too old to find someone, to get married, get into a profession or ma...

A.   19 February 2017: Time is abstract. The past and the future are not solid things you can grab and take a look at, or put on display. The only solid thing you have is here, now, today. So are you too old? Are you still alive? Yes? Then why would you be too old? Your ... (read in full...)

How should you say that you're rich, on Tinder?

Q.   I'm not rich, but if a guy were rich, what would be the best way for him to say that he's (seriously) rich on something like Tinder?...

A.   19 February 2017: Why would he? Rich people do not brag about it, because they would just get chased by gold diggers. And if you really want to use your money to get a date, you don't use Tinder. You use sites like sugarbaby etc. ... (read in full...)

How can I figure out what job suits me? Any tips on finding the perfect job?

Q.   I work in a prestigious corporate role and I absolutely hate it. I feel like my life revolves around my job and I'm so dependent on it (money) that everyday just feels robotic. I went to school undergrad and grad and now I have a corporate role as ...

A.   19 February 2017: I understand what you mean. I have taken active steps myself, both consciously and unconsciously, to not end up in that position. I often look at job offers and wonder if I should apply, because the salary is great. But then I think further ahead, ... (read in full...)

How can I talk to them about this? What can I do about my boyfriend and my best friend? He hangs out with her when I'm not present

Q.   My best friend and I are very different people and we get on really well, even though I no longer see her very often. We have been friends for years. A year ago I helped her get close to a guy she liked who I liked at the same time. Things did...

A.   19 February 2017: I think you are letting your sisters cruel comment ruin this for you. Your siste had no business judging your relationship and friendship by saying something like that. Honestly, I think she said it because she is jealous of you, thats usually the ... (read in full...)

My 16 year old sister is sexually active, without birth control. Should I just come out and tell my Dad what my sister told me ?

Q.   My dad is a single dad , he does a great job raising my sister and I but he's a little clueless in the age girl department. He believes everything my sister tells him. I've seen her come home drunk and convince my dad that she had food poisoni...

A.   13 February 2017: If I were you I'd try the friendly approach and figure out how she can get birth control without your dad finding out. Since you're a guy you probably don't know this, but you can inform your sister that a VERY common way for girls to get birt... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks

Q.   Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...

A.   8 February 2017: Go. And dump your aggressive and controlling and abusive boyfriend. How dare he accuse you of cheating, and who is he to demand you tell him where you are at all times? You're not 5 years old and he is not your father. Nor does he own you. Cheez... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's sexual past troubles me, What should I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months and we both are in love and have talked about a future. we both talked about pasts as well and got on the subject of sex. i was disgusted when she told me on how many people she slept with and...

A.   8 February 2017: Yeah, you guys need to stop over sharing. This is the problem when you are young and naive, you don't understand the difference between being honest and being crude. Just because one is honest in a relationship and respects ones partner, does not ... (read in full...)

I'm worried I could catch herpes from her if we become intimate!

Q.   Hello,am in a dilemma. I met someone. It's like we are on the same page. Over at her house the other night, going great, a little kissing hugging, watching a movie, and pizza... Then she started crying. She had to tell me something. I thought ...

A.   7 February 2017: Google genital herpes and read up about it. Educate yourself. That is my best advice. Because you don't know enough about it right now, that is why you are afraid. If you know more, you can made an educated decision based on rational thought and not ... (read in full...)

If I was happy, I wouldn't have had cybersex with the guy online. Anyone got advice? Should I tell my bf about what I did?

Q.   I became friends with this guy online. The conversations started off as topics about forums (met on a forum so) memes, YouTube, just general Internet stuff really. However, it slowly got a little flirtatious, and last night, I was drinking and we ...

A.   7 February 2017: Yeah, you pretty much decided to break up the cowardly way. If you were happy you wouldn't have cheated? If you were unhappy you should end the relationship. End of discussion. Cheating, whether online or in real life, is the end of any ... (read in full...)

My housemate has "Issues"and is getting on my nerves..She is too clingy. What To Do?

Q.   We're the same age and I didn't know her before I moved in (I replaced another girl). I've been here since the New Year. There are two other guys here but they keep themselves to themselves. She's a student from China (I work), and though I hav...

A.   1 February 2017: Jist stop doing things with her. Say you are busy. Don't reply to texts. Don't tell her you find her clingy, who knows, she might grow on you. But just make sure you take a breather and get out of the house more, or stay in your own room more and ... (read in full...)

I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?

Q.   I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...

A.   1 February 2017: Leave her. Staying with her just because you have been together for years, is not a good reason. You are no longer attracted to her. You are not married. So leave.... (read in full...)

I'm losing my best friend and don't know what to do.

Q.   I'm friends with a female who ive known for six months, I knew her from work as we worked together and seem to get on, she was one of those temporary people. anyway she told me she was off to nicaragua on a water project to promote clean water an...

A.   1 February 2017: You dont have her phone number, this indicates in a long way that you and her are not, and have never been, friends. Leave it alone and hang out with your male friends from now on.... (read in full...)

I'm losing my best friend and don't know what to do.

Q.   I'm friends with a female who ive known for six months, I knew her from work as we worked together and seem to get on, she was one of those temporary people. anyway she told me she was off to nicaragua on a water project to promote clean water an...

A.   31 January 2017: I don't get this post. You write she is your best friend? She is not a friend. She is a former collague who you barely knew, you only knew her for 6 months and that was 6 months ago. She didn't get in touch with you because she has no need for ... (read in full...)

Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?

Q.   Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...

A.   31 January 2017: PS. Just saw your follow-up. Even if you don't have a full degree, you CAN still list your academic achievements on a CV and still get a job on that basis. What good would a degree in accounting do you if you KNOW you don't want to work within this ... (read in full...)

Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?

Q.   Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...

A.   31 January 2017: Go do the acting. No question about it. School isn't going to disappear. It will be there when your soap is done/when or if you find out you no longer want to do acting. Really. This is one of those things when you are young, you think you MU... (read in full...)

My manager wants me to cancel my nonrefundable vacation for work!

Q.   Long story short, I back up one of my colleagues whenever she goes on vacation. We're in different departments. I'm happy to do so and she always only takes one day off at a time anyway. Anything that requires her expertise that I cannot handle ...

A.   31 January 2017: You already told her about your vacation, so it's not like you are surprising her with this. She just asked if you can cancel it, she doesn't know it's non refundable and that you're traveling with other couples etc. For all she knows, you're just ... (read in full...)

I feel guilty and pathetic because I know there are people worse off than me!

Q.   Sorry if this sounds whiny, but I think I need some advice from some non judgemental people. Basically, to say my life hasn't turned out how I imagined it is an understatement. I've done nothing with it literally. I don't know why, but when I was ...

A.   31 January 2017: I know how you feel. You're not the only one who feels this way. Your life is lacking direction and purpose, and that leaves one feeling this way. I believe it is because you are the type of person you are, someone who thinks deep thoughts and is a ... (read in full...)

Do I have a realistic chance with her?

Q.   So, here's the situation: there's a girl I've known about 8 eights that I've just received starting seeing as more than a friend. I met her at church about 8 years ago and we weren't especially close then. She went off to school and I saw her very ...

A.   31 January 2017: First off, let me just ask what on earth this is supposed to mean: "she is behaving a little bipolar" Do you know that bipolar personality disorder is not something you "behave a little like", it's a mental disorder you either have or you don't. I... (read in full...)

I like masturbating in places where I might get caught

Q.   I have a problem and I know it's wrong but I can't stop doing it...please help. I masturbate a lot, which I guess is not that bad, but I like doing it in situations when I might get caught. Or I intentionally don't clean up probably as it g...

A.   30 January 2017: Yes, practice self control. Of course you can stop this if you actually wanted to. Thing is, you don't want to. It gives you a high, as you say. It gives you a pleasurable feeling. Why would you stop? Unless you start associating this behaviou... (read in full...)

Why would my co-worker buy me coffee and a muffin?

Q.   Today one of my coworkers that I'm friendly with surprised me with coffee and muffin from a fast food place. I normally get to work an hour early because parking spaces are scarce--first come first serve. When I arrived, he came to my window and...

A.   30 January 2017: I think he just happened to buy this for himself, and then picked up extra for you too. So he most likely did not go out of his way for it. Maybe he is also not used to friendly ppl at work, and this is him showing apprechiation for your frie... (read in full...)

How do I tell my parents about his age and past?

Q.   I need some advice on how to talk to my parents. I'm 23 and an only child. I'm very close to my parents and I know they love me very much. Ive always been a good kid and never really have my parents any trouble. I love out of town about 7 hou...

A.   27 January 2017: You should tell your parents before you go visit. And as it stands, you give off the impression that YOU are ashamed of him and you are embarrassed by his age and him having a child. So you definitely NEED to tell your parents this in good time ... (read in full...)

He left me because I wouldn't have sex with him.

Q.   . my partner left me. because i dnt want sex with him before marriage. but he want. thats why he leave me. he switched off his phone. but i love him. . i want to talk to him. i feel alone without him. i love him. i want to die.plz help me....

A.   27 January 2017: You feel like this right now, but it will get better soon. Your heart will heal, just give it a bit more time. You should wait at least 5-6 months of not contacting him. If you still feel that you are about to die after this time, write back to us. ... (read in full...)

I'm more interested in sex than my boyfriend

Q.   Should I back off and give boyfriend some room? Is there something wrong with me because I have a high sex drive? How can I get him to perform oral sex first without directly asking for it? We've been dating for 9 months I'm in love with him. I ...

A.   26 January 2017: He sounds lazy in bed. ... (read in full...)

Do you think she is too young to get married ? we live together.

Q.   My gf and I will be having our second anniversary in march. I'm know that she is he girl for me and she has told me that she wants to marry me. She's only 23. We live together in a rented apartment, we pay bills and both work. Do you think she ...

A.   26 January 2017: No. I don't think you're too young to marry when you're regarded as an adult by the law, and therefore considered adult and capable of making your own choices in life. Now, if SHE thinks she is too young to marry, that is another matter. She migh... (read in full...)

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? My first serious girlfriend has since come out as a lesbian.

Q.   I was a little bit of a late bloomer but in college I finally met a really amazing girl who became my first serious girlfriend and by that I mean that she was all my firsts: first kiss, first love, first sexual encounter. She had been with one...

A.   26 January 2017: How would you have had a role in this... Sexuality is something you are born with. You don't become a lesbian because of a bad relationship with a man. But more likely, she was always more interested in women than men, and you were the odd occasion ... (read in full...)

26 years old and never been on a date

Q.   I'm a 26 year old guy and have never dated. When I was in high school, I was pretty much an outcast and girls just laughed at me. One time a girl made me think she wanted to go to a dance with her and asked me to meet her there. She showed up with ...

A.   25 January 2017: There is always hope.... (read in full...)

My husband's brother is behaving towards me in ways that make me feel uncomfortable. Is my brother in law trying to tell me something ? What should I do?

Q.   I need some advice regarding my husband's brother. We haven't always got on so well because I found him a bit intimidating. He's 12 years older than me and he used to behave a bit strange with me for example: He always accused me of flirting w...

A.   24 January 2017: Ugh, what a disturbing man. Yes, this sounds exactly like some immature and brutish man who fancies you, yet doesn't have the tact, the education or intellect to know what to do. So he acts like a 5-year old instead by ignoring what you say, ... (read in full...)

Does being rich make a guy sexier, or does he just offer more security?

Q.   Does being rich make a guy sexier, or does he just offer more security? What is better in a guy who is 20-30 years old.. Being super rich (through inheritance or the lottery), or having an $US80k job?...

A.   24 January 2017: There is no "better". And it doesnt make a guy more sexy. But money can make a guy more attractive in general, as it offers security. When thinking of who you'd rather risk a pregnancy with (yes, sex is taking a risk of pregnancy), who would you ... (read in full...)

We need couples counselling but all his nit-picking is wearing me down. How should I handle this?

Q.   I live with my (16 years older) boyfriend. We've been together for a few years, but we're not married yet and I'm pretty sure I know why we haven't taken that step yet. He has openly stated that he's concerned about my absent-mindedness and ...

A.   24 January 2017: Let me tell you a secret. He does not love you. He is in love with your potential, but not you. That is why he nitpicks. He is unhappy in the relationship, but stays because you are good enough, for now at least. Not good enough to marry and have ... (read in full...)

My son punched a guest, when guest videoed him and girlfriend having sex.

Q.   My son is 19 he has been dating his girlfriend since he was 16 and she was 15. We have a pretty open relationship with them. Over the weekend they went out to a party with their friends and at our house my husband and I threw a surprise party for ...

A.   23 January 2017: Be proud of your son for giving those old perverts what they deserve. And dont invite those people over again who enjoy filming young people having sex. Its not legal to spy and video people like that, and it could very easily have been put online ... (read in full...)

Is it degrading to let a guy ejaculate on you?

Q.   When I was 15, my mother sat me down and had "the talk". She is very open and liberal, so we ended up talking about everything from sex and birth control to relationships and life in general. One of the things she was adamant about was that por...

A.   23 January 2017: You are normal. Its not degrading. Just because your mother might feel a certain way, doesnt mean you need to. If you feel its al right and you enjoy it, then that is fine. What goes on in the bedroom is between you and him, not you and your mother.... (read in full...)

Moving in together and disagree on houseguests. Help!

Q.   My boyfriend and I are both 26 and moving in together for the first time. We’re doing it for the right reasons and discussed everything we could think of before making the decision together. Currently we spend most of our time together at his place, ...

A.   20 January 2017: I don't get why you and him insist on living together in a small one bedroom/studio apartment. Get an apartment with an extra bedroom for guests, and problem solved. If you can't afford that, then do not move in together. Abort and cancel all plans. ... (read in full...)

Am I right or is my flu messing with my mind?

Q.   First of all, I have the flu. Anyway, I was seeing a man, and out of the blue he broke up with me. I said ok. We had only been seeing each other for a month. Then he begged me to give him another chance, for two weeks non-stop. I give him another ...

A.   19 January 2017: I think you are right. Whenever I am sick, it's the times when I see things clearly and make the best decisions in my life. Because then your brain takes over, and your heart isn't going to interfere. Your brain and your logic is taking over because ... (read in full...)

Was he wrong for hitting me or am I being dramatic?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 8months, I was pulling a silly face he didn't like and to stop me doing it he slapped my face, not hard by enough to shock me a little. He knows how I feel about face slapping (from previous bedroom antics) ...

A.   19 January 2017: I think he did it as a joke, and is immature enough to not know how to handle it when he's being told it's not allowed. Like small children will hit each other in kinder garden, you know? Then you tell them it's not allowed, and they sulk about it ... (read in full...)

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