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*higirl's profile:

Im shocked to discover that I've written well over 9000 answers on DearCupid! As the years go by, I never seem to lose interest in the lives and love troubles that goes on around the world.

Latest articles:

How to avoid being used financially

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...

What I've learned from my family.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...

How one person changed my life

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...

1234567891011Next > [221 pages, 8792 answers]

Can anyone explain why I have this dream?

Q.   I am a mid 20s female and I'm trying to find out the meaning to a dream I have had twice. In my dreams I'm myself and I'm making out with a female (not the same person both times) I know but aren't close with in my wake life. Then the making out ...

A.   4 September 2017: The dream means you are exploring different sides of your femininity. You kiss different women in a search for different feminine expressions. A kiss in a dream often symbolizes unity, or closeness and family, and is not sexual. You kiss because you ... (read in full...)

Are there tips to make a man fall for you?

Q.   I recently went back into the dating world after a few years in a relationship. I'd like to think that I'm confident and decent looking and guys do want to meet up with me. However on two occasions now I've met a guy in person and he has completely ...

A.   4 September 2017: You had two guys turn you down and then this somehow means that ALL MEN turn you down? Come on. It was two guys. You need to date LOTS MORE in order to honestly say that you have a problem with men or that men in general don't like you. It was just ... (read in full...)

A fight, zero contact for 3 weeks. He should apologize, not me. What should I do?

Q.   I left my BF 3 weeks ago after a fight. There's been zero contact since I left. I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me. Yes, I'm the one who left, however he was the one who was in the wrong and should apologize. I'm not sure how to ...

A.   4 September 2017: The relationship is over, you are broken up. Silence from him is him wanting to move on. Silence from you is you wanting to move on. Doesn't matter at this point who were in the right and who were in the wrong. You are no longer a couple. ... (read in full...)

I'm made to feel like a social pariah because I've chosen not to have children

Q.   Dear all, I am a 37 year old woman with a great job and an even greater husband. I have my own house, I travel a lot and I love my life. I live and work in a ver small and narrow-minded community which makes me feel like a pariah because I don't ...

A.   3 September 2017: I hate it when people act like sheep and stop using their brains like this, and commit such ignorant and stupid things. They comment because women, like it or not, still aren't equal to men. Men do NOT get comments like this at 37, or at any age, ... (read in full...)

My wife of 30 years just confessed that she was not a virgin

Q.   my wife of 30 years confessed that she was not a virgin when we were married. I was not a virgin when we met and if she had told me before we were married I would have been fine with it. My problem is she made such a big deal of telling me she was ...

A.   3 September 2017: Did she tell you why she lied about it? Was it because she was ashamed of it? Or did she think you wouldn't want to date her or marry her if you knew she wasn't a virgin? All I can guess at, is that she told this lie in the beginning because ... (read in full...)

I told him 10pm was too late for dinner and now he won't speak to me

Q.   Dear Cupid; I met a man on-line, he asked me to meet him at a nearby restaurant/bar at 9:00, he then changed the time to 9:15. I texted him when I got there never got a reply. I waited for 15 minutes and as I was getting ready to leave when he ...

A.   3 September 2017: Just be glad he's avoiding you. He's not a serious man, you were just his "in case nothing better comes along". That's why he didn't prioritize the dates he had with you, but kept being delayed, not apologizing, and just delaying every date you ... (read in full...)

Is it ladylike to show cleavage?

Q.   Do you think its ladylike to show cleavage?!? i have never showed my cleavage. Do u thinks its fine to show cleavage? ...

A.   1 September 2017: That really depends on the occasion. There are "rules" of conduct regarding this. Cleavage is generally seen as fine. For more formal occasions, it is said that the depth of the cleavage must be in correlation with the length of the gloves. So the ... (read in full...)

Do I tell potential dates from the start that I have acne on my butt and thighs?

Q.   I just got out of a 11 year relationship. I have body acne bad like on my butt and inner thighs. I feel no one will ever be with me because of the acne down there....would you be with someone who had acne there? Do I tell people about ...

A.   30 August 2017: No. This is not something you tell people. This is part of your body, and this is something they will see in due time, when the times comes that you both feel ready to be intimate enough with each other that those parts of your body will be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says my friends took advantage of me.

Q.   Hello Everyone! Just wanted some insight on this situation. Last night, my boyfriend and I had friends over (my friend and his girlfriend) to watch the Game of Thrones season finale. I cooked a lot more than my boyfriend thought I should have but ...

A.   28 August 2017: My thought is that he should mind his own business. Tell him so. It's not his place to tell you what you should and shouldn't do for friends, or who you choose to keep as friends, or what you feel is acceptable or not for YOUR GUESTS (not his!) to ... (read in full...)

Barmaid I like who I'm friends with has gone off me because of other friends stirring

Q.   A female called lorna who fancied me at school was really into me, but I wasn't into her as much, as back then I wasn't into girls, not because I was gay but they were more trouble than they were worth. I recently saw her again at a working ...

A.   28 August 2017: She is in a relationship and you are a single man. That's the reason. You were flirting with a taken woman.... (read in full...)

Anal sex embarrassment!

Q.   I had anal sex last night and thought I was clean, when he went really deep I had a big accident and it literally went everywhere was so embarrassing my boyfriend was really good about it we had a shower and he has just shrugged it off but I am so ...

A.   28 August 2017: Its been known to happen. Just be sure to have anal sex after your visit to the bathroom with no meals in between, and for him to not go deep. Or, just dont have anal sex unless its something you really enjoy. ... (read in full...)

Worried life is passing me by

Q.   So I've been doing a lot of reading lately, romance novels to be exact, and the cheesy one not the erotic kind. And after contemplating the choices I've made and the life I currently lived, and I feel empty. So I've recently finished college, and ...

A.   28 August 2017: Young love is no different from adult love. To be in love, to be crazy about another person and to experience those feelings, dosent have an age limit. Dont have regrets, because all your experiences lie ahead of you. Feel excited instead. ... (read in full...)

He's nice but I'm not sure if I'm being hurtful or I should scram

Q.   Need help deciding to stay or go... Ive been dating a very sweet man for the last four months. We met at a job so I've known him since Feb. and I admired his hard working attitude. He is not good with money tho (at least as far as I am concerned) ...

A.   23 August 2017: I'm going to sound very harsh, but Im with you in the way you think. I don't think you're awful, I think you are being honest about the facts and honest with yourself, and I think broken homes and divorces could be avoided if everyone thought like ... (read in full...)

Is it too much to ask to want a virgin partner?

Q.   I am 25 and a virgin guy. Is it too much to ask for a virgin partner? I mean i have no disrespect for those who aint and i believe that every person has a choice. PLEASE HELP! ...

A.   22 August 2017: It's fine to ask for this. You yourself are the one who decides what is right for you, and what isn't. When something doesn't feel right, for whatever reasons, do not do it. It needs to be right for you, not for everyone else. ... (read in full...)

His ex randomly pops up!

Q.   My .... ex? current bf?... I don't know what we are... we dated for a year,he cheated several times, I broke up with him and 6 months later we are seeing each other and acting like a couple. To him and his friends and immediate family, he introduces ...

A.   18 August 2017: He is standing up for you. Ignoring is the best way to go in dealing with people you don't want to talk to. He IS standing up for you, at least now. I can't say Im too enthusiastic about this guy since he's cheated on you several times already, and ... (read in full...)

I'm annoyed about his contradictory comments about not wanting children but not using birth control with his exes!

Q.   I have been seeing my boyfriend for three months and in general we get on well. But one thing that keeps cropping up is his exes. The other evening the subject of children were brought up (he hasn't got any). He told me that he had not used ...

A.   17 August 2017: I think you're dating an idiot. Sorry. But how much education do you lack if you fail to use protection when you don't want children, and then just go on to assume you can't have any? Every heard of getting a check-up at a clinic to get it confirmed ... (read in full...)

Each time I nearly had sex I pulled back .... now we have split up!

Q.   Hi, Me and my now ex boyfriend broke up and it was a very hard decision for us to make because we love each other very much...We met about four months ago at work and we've been together for a month and a half before our break up. Everythi...

A.   12 August 2017: Bleh, you know what? This guy, he isn't all that. I know, I know. You are in love! Of course you kiss the ground he walks on and think he's the sun and the moon and all the stars. That's not true, though. That's just the chemicals in your brain ... (read in full...)

Having sex all the time is really putting me off having sex

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together about seven months now. Things are kosher for the most part with a few small arguments here and there. One of the few things about the relationship that bother me is his sex drive. When we started dating I ...

A.   12 August 2017: "When we started dating I decided to try to be the cool girlfriend who puts out as often as possible, quickies throughout the day, blow jobs whenever etc. But keeping up has been proven impossible" Ever heard of the saying "BE YOURSELF... (read in full...)

We bought a house together but feel my fiance is taking advantage of me financially

Q.   My finance and I bought a house together at the beginning of the year. I paid for the entire down payment out of my savings account, with the understanding that he will pay me back for his half. In addition, I also put 25K into our joint account to ...

A.   7 August 2017: Sorry to say so, but legally speaking you are screwed. He now owns half the house and you paid for everything. No written and signed agreement of him paying you back either, I suppose? Then you might as well count that money as lost. Getting it ... (read in full...)

Was substitute dad trying too hard or did he overstep the mark?

Q.   So my ? is Can substitute dad put down ground rules on date night when i am 19 and will not graduate high school until January. My father is no longer living with us-Due to my dads meanness we have never been close. anyways, my step mom is now ...

A.   1 August 2017: If you are under his care and not an independent adult (which you aren't yet, as you describe yourself), then you follow his rules. That's what it's like to be a kid. If you don't like rules from the adults who are legally responsible for you and ... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend's girlfriend texted me telling to delete old posts from when we were dating

Q.   I got a message from my ex's current girlfriend. He cheated and immediately got together with her after our breakup. I took the breakup better than I expected and became happier. But he always texts trying to get back together. He also started ...

A.   31 July 2017: *others ... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend's girlfriend texted me telling to delete old posts from when we were dating

Q.   I got a message from my ex's current girlfriend. He cheated and immediately got together with her after our breakup. I took the breakup better than I expected and became happier. But he always texts trying to get back together. He also started ...

A.   31 July 2017: Why do you need these pictures? Print them out and keep in a photo book if you like, but remove them from the internet if your ex boyfriend is in the pictures and if he har requested that they be removed. You always need permission to post pictures ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is cheating, pressuring me to have sex. I'm afraid he'll leave me if I don't give in

Q.   I am 19 and even tho i know all my friends are having sex, i know it doesn't mean i have to but i'm getting a lot of pressure from my boyfriend to do it right now. The pressure seems to be more and more as the days go on. And I will be honest, i ...

A.   31 July 2017: Let him walk away! You may love him, but he does not love you. He cheats and pressures you for sex. You are scared he will leave, but really you should leave him! This is not a good guy. ... (read in full...)

Family members bring dogs to gatherings knowing our son is terrified of them

Q.   My 12-year-old son has autism. Both my sisters recently got dogs. They are small breeds. My sisters and their husbands KNOW that my son is TERRIFIED of dogs yet still bring them to family functions and gatherings fully knowing that my...

A.   30 July 2017: Just keep on not going to family gatherings then. Or have you tried speaking to your sisters without atracking them? I am sure, with a calm conversation, that you would be able to agree on som gatherings without dogs attending. Other than an ... (read in full...)

He changed his mind about getting married so who keeps the ring?

Q.   A few weeks ago my ex fiancé basically told me that he didn't want to get married then he told me he was no longer in love with me. Then a few weeks later he basically tells me I'm in love with you but your not my soulmate. I was annoyed and I do...

A.   30 July 2017: I think your misread the law, youwish. He is entitled to the ring back if she broke the engagement or if there was just reason: such as her cheating etc. But he broke it off unjustifiably, because she did not cheat on him or lie to him. So it is an ... (read in full...)

First time sex was a disaster!

Q.   I tried sex for the first time I really like the guy and I really did want it, but when it came to it, it didn't feel good. First he wouldn't fit into me, then he started touching me which I barely felt and when he was finally inside me I didn't f...

A.   26 July 2017: Noting is wrong with you. You just lacked sexual chemistry with this particular guy. Sometimes it happens, and it can be difficult to tell in advance whether or not someone will match you sexually. It's all about how well your bodies match, really, ... (read in full...)

Which expression is more of a compliment?

Q.   I'm just wanting opinions on the difference between the terms of "amazing woman" - "awesome chicky" and "chicky babe". For example, is there certain levels of intimacy involved in calling a girl this when you are interested, if you are interested? ...

A.   26 July 2017: Amazing woman means a lot more than trashy nicknames, if you ask me. It's sincere and honest. The other ones are, I dunno... something I would expect someone who doesn't really care to blurt out. ... (read in full...)

He seemed to ask a lot of questions about my income!

Q.   Dear Cupid; I'm in my 50's and unfortunately back in the dating world after my husband passed away years ago. I recently went on a meet and greet and the man asked me what year my car was, if I owned or rented, how big was my house. H...

A.   26 July 2017: Ugh, I would be so put off. An adult man who is only interested in my money because he can't budget his own? Im not interested in a man-child, no thank you. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell a man he's not doing it for me in the bedroom?

Q.   Ok so my problem is pretty simple. How do I tell a man he's not doing it for me in the bedroom? I've been seeing a man for about 6 weeks now and in the last two weeks we've started to have sex, but it really isn't good. He's a great kisser and...

A.   21 July 2017: "You haven't been seeing him long. Giving him the benefit of the doubt; he may be a bit eager for sex, if he is coming out of a long drought. He finally has a real woman in his bed, and all he can think of is satisfying himself. " I just wanted t... (read in full...)

How do I tell a man he's not doing it for me in the bedroom?

Q.   Ok so my problem is pretty simple. How do I tell a man he's not doing it for me in the bedroom? I've been seeing a man for about 6 weeks now and in the last two weeks we've started to have sex, but it really isn't good. He's a great kisser and...

A.   20 July 2017: You've unfortunately met a man who plain and simple isn't good in bed. And he never will be. So decide here now if you can live with the sex as is (or at best it will become a tinsy wimsy little bit better with years and years of practice). He is... (read in full...)

8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?

Q.   Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...

A.   19 July 2017: Woa..! That's quite a jump from "did you cover for you friend" to "you cheated on me". Makes me think, and don't shoot me if Im wrong, but such a wild reaction makes me think there is something else going on. Such as he cheated on you. And now ... (read in full...)

I don't want to panic in the future about oral sex performed on me, advice please?

Q.   Hi I'm an 18 y/o girl and lost my virginity earlier this year. It was great, and the foreplay was even better, except as he was kissing his way down there I was pulling him back up. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him going down on me, like I ...

A.   19 July 2017: I don't like the taste of my own juices. My boyfriend doesn't understand this at all, he thinks I taste amazing and sweet and he gets super turned on by both taste and smell. So, doing "test tasting" on yourself isn't going to make any differen... (read in full...)

Things were good until his ex' got involved

Q.   I met a guy online in January who is a really great guy. He's a bit older than me but that doesn't bother me. He's 37,I'm 27. We spoke for about 3 weeks before we met for real. We got on instantly and after a few weeks, we began spending more and ...

A.   17 July 2017: He cant be involved with his ex if he wants a new relationship. Its that simple. Sounds like he still is in a relationship with her, in some form or other. Tell him to stop calling you. You want a relationship with a man who is actually single. ... (read in full...)

A man who she has been dating for 3 weeks gets more recognition than I did in 3 years!

Q.   I am so upset and livid right now and I just need some words of wisdom and kind responses to bring me back down. I'm a gay female. I spent 3 years in a relationship with a woman. I was the only woman that she'd ever been with. It was one of th...

A.   16 July 2017: I get it, I get how you feel. But at the same time, you WILLINGLY stayed in the relationship and ALLOWED her to hide you. You didn't post your relationship online despite her wishes, you didn't tell her she either commits in public or it's the end ... (read in full...)

Is my daughter possibly being used by the guy she moved in with?

Q.   My daughter has moved in with her boyfriend they have only being together 5 months and moved in with him after 2 months. She is paying him £300 a month plus half for food. It is his house and her name is not on the mortgage. She has also bought ...

A.   12 July 2017: She needs to learn her own lessons, but yes, she is being taken advantage of. If its his house, then the rule is she either pays and gets her name on the mortgage, or she doesnt pay anything towards the mortgage at all. Electisity bills and food and ... (read in full...)

How much space do I need to give this guy?

Q.   I've been dating a guy for a while, but so far it hasn't really gone anywhere and I think it's because I've been putting too much pressure on him to have a relationship. We really like each other, get on really well, have loads in common and have a ...

A.   12 July 2017: Drop him. I dont even need to read it all. How can he be dating and at the same time not want a relationship? That is the purpose of dating, to have a relationship. There is no such thing as too much pressure. He simply does not like you in that way ... (read in full...)

Desperately seeking sex

Q.   Im single and i have been having a few dates here and there. Its all fine but im not getting any connections with anyone. Im quite horny now and miss the regular sex and dirty talk. Sex toys and masturbating are fine for a while but its just not the ...

A.   12 July 2017: Find a lover. Date on the side. Keep your lover until you find someone worth while to date more seriously. ... (read in full...)

I want him back but I don't think my family and friends will like it

Q.   I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...

A.   12 July 2017: You are not a fool for loving him and wanting him. But you are a fool if you believe people will change. They dont. Wait until you see an actual permanent change before you decide. Everyone can fake a change for a month. But few can actually change, ... (read in full...)

I want him back but I don't think my family and friends will like it

Q.   I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...

A.   12 July 2017: You are not a fool for loving him and wanting him. But you are a fool if you believe people will change. They dont. Wait until you seee... (read in full...)

I feel suffocated by my boyfriend! Is he controlling?

Q.   I'm struggling with my boyfriends needy attitude. He wants constant reassurance from me and needs my attention all the time. We have been together 3 years and his behaviour has got worse and worse. He wants constant reassurance that I haven't felt ...

A.   10 July 2017: Does he not have a job himself, the way he is somehow always available to talk over the phone? If he's unemployed, I think he's just bored and lacking friends or activities, and that's why he's all over you. If he's got a job, and have other a... (read in full...)

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