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*higirl

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*higirl's profile:

Im shocked to discover that I've written well over 9000 answers on DearCupid! As the years go by, I never seem to lose interest in the lives and love troubles that goes on around the world.

Latest articles:

How to avoid being used financially

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...

What I've learned from my family.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...

How one person changed my life

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...

1234567891011Next > [218 pages, 8699 answers]

I cheated and had a one night stand!

Q.   Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. She honestly is the love of my life and I am very happy with her and would do anything for her. Unfortunately, I made a terrible mistake a couple of nights ago , had way too many drinks (which I know ...

A.   24 May 2017: The best thing to do for her is either tell her or break up.... (read in full...)

I'm getting no empathy or support from my family.

Q.   Hi I'm not really sure where to start with this one or how to word it without coming across like I'm playing the victim so il just say how it is best I can. Basically I am in my 30s with three children. 11,13 and 10 weeks. My newest addition was a ...

A.   23 May 2017: Stop talking to your family for a while. They just bring you down. And find a place with cheaper rent! You know you CAN NOT survive on loans, that's not a solution to anything and will only make matters worse. You need to cut down costs and find a ... (read in full...)

Despite out 6 year age difference, do you think this relationship could work out well for us ?

Q.   Hello. I'd like to get some advice, as I've never been in a similar situation before. I've met a really good, caring and beautiful girl, and in short, we talked a bit, she told me she liked me since the last year, and later on, we kissed a few ...

A.   23 May 2017: I think it can work. ... (read in full...)

How can I cope with my sexual frustration? Masturbating seems my only option. How can I feel better about myself?

Q.   I'm 26yrs old and have accomplished nothing. I failed college, don't have a job, and I am a virgin. I feel that I am a hopeless disgrace with no future or anything of value. My problem is that I am sexually frustrated but feel like I have noth...

A.   23 May 2017: Figure out why you feel no self worth and why you are ashamed. Start with some ground work on your own mind. And then think more in "matter of fact". You can only count on yourself to pick yourself up in this world. Have a plan B for what to do, ... (read in full...)

I think I made a mistake in getting married to him as I don't think I can accept his culture and all the family involvement. What should I do?

Q.   I am a vey independent woman who likes a lot of space and I do not like being told what to do. I rarely see my own family as I am busy with my life and they with theirs. My husband comes from Egypt and would like me to go and live there but I don'...

A.   23 May 2017: Honestly? I think you are being selfish. Marriage is about compromise, not about your getting everything you want at the cost of your husband. He is already doing the best he can to go to your country, but the visa application was not approved. Then ... (read in full...)

Does anyone act this way after a break up?

Q.   Does anyone have this pattern of having on to an ex until someone else comes along- I have never "truly" gotten over someone until I got someone else. Example - my ex and this wasn't a long relationship left me- he did it in a disrespectful way and ...

A.   23 May 2017: "usually people understand that when someone does something bad and treats relationships like they are nothing but disposable they run from this person" No, you're wrong about this. You would think this way, that if people get treated poorly, ... (read in full...)

He didn't invite me to a family function. Should I tell him how I feel?

Q.   Hey, Thanks for taking the time to read my post I'm going to keep it short I've been with my partner 10 years I'm 27 hes 28 we've had a very happy time together no real drama or anything we have always been great together I cant imagine anyone in...

A.   20 May 2017: He just forgot to invite you. No hidden agenda. ... (read in full...)

I'm 18 years older than him, I know its crazy but its so intoxicating!

Q.   I feel like I've completely lost my mind here, so maybe someone can give me some perspective. I'm a 38 year-old mother of one. I've been divorced for years. I've always thought of myself as a rational person until now. For reasons I cannot explain, ...

A.   20 May 2017: I think its healthy. Who doesnt need hot sex? Keep at it. As far as a relationship goes, I dont think it is meant for life either. But who says you need to marry him? Enjoy the sex and the thrill. But use protection unless youve both had the ... (read in full...)

Can a relationship work when you love their personality but aren't attracted to them sexually?

Q.   I talked to a guy for a long time via text before actually meeting him. I loved talking to him and we share the same humour. Upon meeting him I continue to love his personality but I am not physically attracted to him. Can a relationship ever work ...

A.   20 May 2017: To answer your headline question: no.... (read in full...)

My LDR boyfriend wants to try to have a baby but we would still be long distance after the baby was born.

Q.   hi guys and girls, i need some advice, i cant wrap my head around a situation what could happen. Me and my long distance relationship have been talking about the future, ( before I go into too much detail, we have been together over a year and a ha...

A.   19 May 2017: If it was me, I would ask myself what I wanted. Not what is the "supposed" way of doing things. Do you want a child, and with this particular man? Can you handle being a single mom (because thats what you will have to be until /if you move ... (read in full...)

He's engaged and 13 years older than me. Could things work out?

Q.   How many years apart is too many? The man I love is 13 years older than me, I believe it's one sided, but I'm just curious on what people believe. He's also engaged, could this possibly work out for me at all?...

A.   19 May 2017: The age gap isnt the worst, Ive seen age gaps this big work just fine. But your age is a problem, and him being engaged is a problem. If you were over 25 years old and he was single, I would say go for it. But you need to respect that he is a taken ... (read in full...)

I cheated then found out my girlfriend is pregnant. She says she doesn't trust me and would leave me if she wasn't pregnant

Q.   I've been dating my girlfriend for four years. A year ago we bought a house together and within weeks I got laid off from my job. I ended having to take a job that required me to be out of town for three weeks then home for a week. I felt terrible ...

A.   19 May 2017: Its better if you dont talk about it. At least not for the next year, because she is too tired making a human, and her hormones drain her. What I would advice you to do is to "talk" about it through action. Show her at least once per day, that you ... (read in full...)

Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.

Q.   Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed. ...

A.   17 May 2017: *massage shower heads ... (read in full...)

Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.

Q.   Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed. ...

A.   17 May 2017: We do. How else would we reach orgasm, and who do you think buys all the message shower heads and vibrators? ... (read in full...)

We are two very different people. I feel stuck in this relationship. What can I do?

Q.   Feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 and a half years, and we have lived together for 2. He is an incredibly kind guy, he always means well, and is all around just a nice guy. However...

A.   15 May 2017: Break up. This relationship isnt it for you, and thats perfectly fine. You shouldnt be in a relationship just because he is a nice guy... You need more, and you need someone else. You need someone who already is the best version of themselves, and ... (read in full...)

Worried that I'm not big enough

Q.   My girlfriend told me that she is feeling my inside but only a little and she is probably sure that she cant cum from this. I can make her cum few time in 2-4 minutes with my fingers but she can't feel my penis right. I'm average guy. Lenght above...

A.   15 May 2017: Truth: women reach orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Only about 10% or so frequently reach orgasm through intercourse. Penis size is irrelevant to this. This is about female anatomy. The clitoris is the equivalent of the penis. Her reaching orgasm ... (read in full...)

Even though I work with kids I can't get close to these ones

Q.   I have 2 "nephews"..they're not really, they're my fiancé's but when we get married they technically will be, but I have absolutely no bond or relationship with them. It's not that I don't want to have either. I care about them as much as I would my ...

A.   15 May 2017: PS. I agree, kids are like cats. Ignore them, and they love you. Try to force a cuddle and they run. My toddler niece adores me. I have never tried to hug her, and never received a hug from her either. But she grabs my hand to show me her toys and ... (read in full...)

Even though I work with kids I can't get close to these ones

Q.   I have 2 "nephews"..they're not really, they're my fiancé's but when we get married they technically will be, but I have absolutely no bond or relationship with them. It's not that I don't want to have either. I care about them as much as I would my ...

A.   15 May 2017: So here is the thing. There is no rule saying you need to form a close bond with kids. Blood related or not. And trust me, the kids dont care either way. They have other adults to form meaningful relationships with. And there is no such thing as ... (read in full...)

Where do I draw the line? Am I being brainwashed?

Q.   Where do I draw the line between him being too busy/tired/stressed and him just not being that into me? I'm dating a doctor who is training to become a surgeon. At first he was very attentive, calling, texting, wanting to see me all the time, th...

A.   14 May 2017: This man has red flags all over him. Its not healthy or normal behavior. You would be better off ending it and go no contact. ... (read in full...)

How can I discourage his interest while still being kind to him and, if possible, remain friends?

Q.   There's this boy in one of my classes who clearly is interested in me. He goes out of his way to talk to me in the hallways, after class, walking into school...he even waits at my locker sometimes. I'm afraid I've inadvertently led him on a bit, ...

A.   14 May 2017: You cant. If he likes you as more than a friend, realize that to him this is not friendship; this is courting. So if he likes you as more than friends, the friendship is already lost, and you can not save it.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend needs time to figure his life out!

Q.   I've written on here before about concerns with my boyfriend not saying I love you after about 5 months. However, we split up/decided to take a break yesterday although I'm unsure exactly which it was. Our relationship has been very happy...

A.   14 May 2017: He does not love you. I dont think its because he entered the relationship so soon after his last relationship, I just think he does not feel love for you. Its just the way things are, some times. He did the right thing by ending it (yes, this was a ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend needs time to figure his life out!

Q.   I've written on here before about concerns with my boyfriend not saying I love you after about 5 months. However, we split up/decided to take a break yesterday although I'm unsure exactly which it was. Our relationship has been very happy...

A.   14 May 2017: He does not love you. I dont think its because he entered the relationship so soon after his last relationship, I just think he does not feel love for you. Its just the way things are, some times. He did the right thing by ending it (yes, this was a ... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   14 May 2017: PS. I dont think you will ever marry her, sorry. After three years, you may tell yourself its too early and you are too young, but the truth is you just dont want to marry her. Even if you had been both age 30 and together 10 years, I dont think it ... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   14 May 2017: Tell her you are both too young, and you dont want to get engaged before you are both 25 years old or older. Truthfully, this is the best thing, because you are both still so young and not fully matured. You both need time to figure out what you ... (read in full...)

I thought the online military guy from the UK liked me so how did he suddenly lose interest?

Q.   Hey there Aunts and Uncles! I have a quick question for you guys, you may think it's stupid because it probably is. So a week ago, I created a profile on this dating app and met a guy pretty quickly. We exchanged face pics and added each ot...

A.   14 May 2017: I think that anyone can fake interest over a few days, but that after a week or two... They get bored. So yes, he probably did act all cute and sweet at first to see what you were like and then it wasnt a hit for him. So he stopped putting in so ... (read in full...)

What is considered the standard in talking to a girl in this modern day? Daily or...?

Q.   I'm kinda new to dating after being out of it for the last 6-7 years... and I've been communicating to this one girl for the last 4 years as a friend. I'm trying to build our friendship into a relationship at someday soon(ish), and as of lately ...

A.   11 May 2017: Honestly, if you have been friends for 4 years and you want to move this beyond friendship, you need to ask her on a date. Communicate daily or whatever you want. She will still just see you as a friend until you ask her out on a date/otherwise ... (read in full...)

I'm upset my girlfriends parents haven't integrated

Q.   So me and my girlfriend have been dating for three and a half years and renting a flat together for a year. We have a good relationship, are very much in love and plan our future together. There is, however, one issue that drives me insane. Her pare...

A.   10 May 2017: Older people have a hard time learning a new language. And if they have no need to learn it, they have functional lives without it, then even more reason to not have learned it. Stop letting it bother you, I dont see why it should be an issue. You ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my strict, military, religious father that I'm pregnant?

Q.   I am a 20 year old who still lives at home. I just found out I'm pregnant with my boyfriend's child. My friend and I haven't been dating very long but I have known and been friends with him for over 6years. Because of this fact my father hasn't...

A.   9 May 2017: I would not understand overreacting in this case. You are an adult and you are entitled to make your own life decisions. Yes, you live under his/your parents roof, but still. You're not a slave and you're not his property. You're not disrespecting ... (read in full...)

How can I encourage my husband to take better care of his skin?

Q.   While my husband was out, someone mistook him for being 10+ years older than he actually is. I think this has affected his self esteem a little (he's in his early 30s). I've been wanting him to take better care of his skin for years and he's a...

A.   9 May 2017: You dont. You need to leave him be. If he does not want to focus on skin care, then you need to respect this. I dont think its a matter of being lazy. Its a matter of what is important to you. To him, skin care is not important. ... (read in full...)

What purpose does it serve to have women's clothing that exposes so much skin?

Q.   Hey all, I have questions about women's fashion. This will probably make more sense to folks from the eastern part of the world. I'm sorry if this hurts sentiments but this is something I really do not understand. My city has changed a lot i...

A.   8 May 2017: Womens fashion has always been about what men want. Until only recently, you see more womens fashion in clothes that women themselves have designed and want. All from "traditonal clothing" to 1980's style and 1990's style is mostly about what men ... (read in full...)

The teasing in our relationship is starting to get to me

Q.   Me and my fiancee are planning to get married in just over a year but I'm starting to have a few worries. We like to tease each other and give each other a hard time, its just part of the dynamic of our relationship, but lately I've been taking it ...

A.   5 May 2017: If you've been together for years, even the funniest joke gets old when told too many times. Just tell him you need a little break from all the teasing. Or maybe just stop laughing at them, or tell him that right now, at this time in your ... (read in full...)

My husband is almost forcing me to have sex with my lesbian neighbor

Q.   Hi, my husband has recently come home after a month away and suddenly started wanting me to have sex with my lesbian next door neighbour, he doesn't want to watch or be involved at all. We have known she has a crush on me for a long time and given ...

A.   5 May 2017: This is weird. Tell him you don't want to. You can't be forced to have sex with someone when you don't want, that's rape. You have said no. He needs to respect that. But then again, you say the reason you don't want to is because you are scared i... (read in full...)

I'm annoyed because a friend likes me and I don't return the feelings. Why does it bother me?

Q.   Hi I need some help to understand my feelings. A good friend of mine X confessed that he likes me. I had a hint but I didn't want him to confess because I don't feel the same. I used to text him like a friend but now I feel so annoyed every ti...

A.   5 May 2017: "And if the guy I like feels the same way about my texts cause he doesn't like me back and I'm okay with that." Yeah, probably. And no wonder you get annoyed, because you have told the guy you don't like him, and yet he keeps trying to get in... (read in full...)

What can I do to prevent falling for other men while I'm in this relationship? And what do I do about the guy that I kissed recently?

Q.   I've been in a relationship for 6 years. I love my man with every once of me. I cannot imagine my life without him. I care for him more than I care for myself. I constantly worry about his well being, whether he's happy, whether he's eaten, tired ...

A.   3 May 2017: "If I tell my man that I kissed this guy. He will walk away from me and never look back." Knowing this, could you live with yourself if you never told him, and married him? If this is not life for you, then change things. No one says you hav... (read in full...)

What can I do to prevent falling for other men while I'm in this relationship? And what do I do about the guy that I kissed recently?

Q.   I've been in a relationship for 6 years. I love my man with every once of me. I cannot imagine my life without him. I care for him more than I care for myself. I constantly worry about his well being, whether he's happy, whether he's eaten, tired ...

A.   3 May 2017: I think it is normal and allright to experience attraction towards other people while in a ltr. But, cheating is never acceptable. Your man deserves to know the truth, before he marries and have children with you. Dont marry him under false ... (read in full...)

We would love to have a child but I worry I am too old!

Q.   Hello, My partner and I have been together for two years now and we have both been married before. We would like to have a child together but I am worried about my age. I have just turned 39 and I worry that is too old. My partner is 42 and he is ...

A.   3 May 2017: You age could be a problem when trying to conceive. And once you conceive, you are more likely to have a spontaneous abortion than a woman under the age of 35. However, this is all statistics, and no one knows how things will be for you. And if you ... (read in full...)

Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?

Q.   I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...

A.   2 May 2017: "I am 32 and still dont have any children or a family of my own yet so I am a bit scared that this will push us away and I will have to start again and it may be too late for me to have children." Let me tell you one thing you need to get into you... (read in full...)

Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?

Q.   I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...

A.   2 May 2017: "We have had fights like this in the street" These are not fights. They are violent attacks. Do not think that this is normal. Couples do fight, yes, but with words. Not abuse, violence, threats and causing harm on one another. Domestic abuse is... (read in full...)

Confusedabout my feelings

Q.   I apologise this is very long! Around 4 years ago i met this man online. We eventually met up and went for a meal, (i need to mention i was in a bad place back then and very insecure) he was a bit of a d***. He said i had bad table manners, asked if ...

A.   2 May 2017: Your ideal man is someone who puts you down and only wants you for sex? Sorry, but I don't see much of an ideal here. I only see a sleazeball who thinks the fastest way to get into a girls pants is to make her insecure and offend her. I don't... (read in full...)

Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?

Q.   I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...

A.   2 May 2017: Ah, great to hear you know that being big can be a problem rather than something great. But as I said before, with so many men having insecurities around their penis, penis envy, and wishing they were bigger just because they imagine it is better, ... (read in full...)

Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?

Q.   I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...

A.   30 April 2017: She lies to not hurt your feelings, because she knows men care way too much about penis size. Women on the other hand, genuinely do not care!!!! As long as it feels good, we're good. Size does not matter to us. But men seem to not want to hear this, ... (read in full...)

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