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*higirl

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*higirl's profile:

Im shocked to discover that I've written well over 9000 answers on DearCupid! As the years go by, I never seem to lose interest in the lives and love troubles that goes on around the world.

Latest articles:

How to avoid being used financially

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...

What I've learned from my family.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...

How one person changed my life

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...

1234567891011Next > [225 pages, 8980 answers]

I need help with work and love advice! Please help!

Q.   So I’m having a frustrated year so far.... Work I closed my business last year after over 3 years of trading and got into a retail job, I then got let go from that retail job and the got called to go to a different branch. I hate it! I try to see...

A.   21 February 2019: Amen to that. I'm not getting career fullfillment either. People always ask me why I dont have a more suitable job. I have a masters degree and work a job that doesnt require ANY education what so ever. Any 16 year old could do my job. My old boss ... (read in full...)

I’m in an exclusive long distance relationship, despite my desire for it to be open, and I started cheating. What do I do?

Q.   I’m a freshman In college and am doing long distance with a boy I started dating about a year ago (during my senior year of high school). I truly believe that I’m in love with him, as I dated a boy before him and learned the difference between ...

A.   21 February 2019: You have really low impulse control, dont you? When you know that you just cant keep your legs together, then you shouldnt be in a relationship at all, long distance or close. What would it matter if your boyfriend lived in the same town as you? It ... (read in full...)

I really like her and want to continue communication with her, but she’s on holiday! I don’t want to put a foot wrong, so I need advice!

Q.   Hey everyone, This feels really pathetic but any advice will help. Basically I’m messaging a girl who I met a few weeks back. She lives just over an hour away and i met her on a night out. Since then I went back the following weekend to see...

A.   20 February 2019: You sound really clingy. You just had a few dates with her, dont really know her well, and she's busy. Stop trying to make this into something it's not. If she wants to, she'll message you. Don't message her again unless she's reached out to you. ... (read in full...)

Do you think it's possible to build a relationship over feelings for a different person?

Q.   I've recently started flatting with five other people. One in particular, I'll call him S, I didn't know very well, so I assumed everything would be fine and we all signed on for a years tenancy contract. That was maybe 8 months ago, and during t...

A.   20 February 2019: Unlike the others here, I dont think it's a bad idea. As long as you don't get too seriously involved with this other person unless you've grown the appropriate feelings for them, I dont see any difference between what you're thinking of doing, and ... (read in full...)

I get angry over little things, and he thinks that’s dumb!

Q.   Hi I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months. Our relationship is good and I'm happy with him.. but I dont seem to stop getting mad over tiny things, or sometimes i get mad at something and he thinks its dumb or that i shouldn't be getti...

A.   20 February 2019: I dont understand what you are trying to say. Different coloured hearts showed up and then you got mad because he never sent you different coloured hearts? Or that he never sends you hearts? Have you previously requested that he sends you ... (read in full...)

He couldn't get it up! Any ideas why?

Q.   Hie Cupid, I fell in love with a very amazing guy, about two months ago. He's in love with me too. So, after hanging out for six times only (writing this because it might be the answer to my doubt), on Valentine's day, we both decided to lose ...

A.   19 February 2019: Its a common problem for men. They get nervous and if nervous they dont get erect. Yes, he just needs more time with you to get comfortable.... (read in full...)

Why don't I have any drive or passion for my business ideas?

Q.   This isn't about love but I could really use some advice. I hope that's ok. I poured lots of money into a tv show pilot, the problem is I'm not motivated to continue with the idea. I think the idea is good and needed but I find myself dragging ...

A.   18 February 2019: I dont think you actually lack spark or motivation. You put a lot of money in it. No one puts a lot of money into something they just feel "meh" about. I think you're shit scared of failure. And it's a lot easier to just say "oh, I didnt really care ... (read in full...)

How can I deal with my anger?

Q.   Hello I am preparing myself emotionally and physically for life in my mid 30”s. My twenties were a series of parties - insecurities and putty fears with occasional breakdowns Throughout my self reflection I have noticed that I get angry very qu...

A.   18 February 2019: I recognize myself in some key aspects of what you write. I also grew up with an abusive parent. It taught me all the wrong management skills, you know. It taught me that when you're unhappy, the correct respnse is to blame it on someone else and ... (read in full...)

I don't like children at all but why am I thinking about the possibilty?

Q.   I’m 26 and have never ever ever wanted children in my whole life and the thought of giving birth and being pregnant makes me feel sick and squeamish. I don’t even find babies or children cute and I get very uncomfortable around them~ at Christmas I ...

A.   18 February 2019: Just tell him. How can you even be so sure about what he wants, you thought you were 100% sure too, and then you werent. Things change. We change. It happens. ... (read in full...)

My ex and his girlfriend have teamed up and are cyberbullying me on Facebook and Instagram

Q.   My ex and his gf are bullying me online and I don't know why. I do not talk to my ex at all and I have moved on. I got a message on IG of her telling me to stay away from him which is weird because I don't have any contact with him and I am living ...

A.   17 February 2019: This has nothing to do with you, like in all cases of bullying. They have serious issues. Maybe they are, in fact, insane. Maybe they are on drugs. Who knows, but normal and healthy people do not do these things. So believe me, its not about you and ... (read in full...)

I broke things off and he put my name and number on a chat website!

Q.   I gave someone my number within recent time, we connected briefly and then realized that I was experiencing too much anxiety, by trying to move forward when I wasn't ready too. In staying attuned to my body's intelligence, I knew that the most di...

A.   16 February 2019: Yes, this man is a piece of shit. Contact that website to have your name and number removes.... (read in full...)

My mom is being really overbearing regarding my wedding and it's taking a toll on me

Q.   This isn't about my relationship with a partner. This is about my relationship with my mother who has been extra attached and possessive with me because my older sibling never became close to my mother and avoids her. Due to which I have always ...

A.   16 February 2019: My advice? Follow in your siblings footsteps and put some distance between yourself and this woman.... (read in full...)

He decided to stop seeing me and I don’t know what to believe!

Q.   I have been dating a guy for three months. Tonight he split up with me. He's 37, I'm 35. He is separated but married and wife is in a different town and they are getting divorced. I'm recently out a relationship too so I saw this as a bit of fun ...

A.   15 February 2019: Ugh, don't speak to him again. You can be friendly etc., but don't try ot be friends. You're not friends. When he tells you he is a train wreck, I believe him. You don't want to date a recently divorced man anyway, he has no idea what he wants in ... (read in full...)

I wish I could end all contact with my toxic mother!

Q.   I feel so much hatred towards my ‘mother’ but I can’t cut her off because she threatens to kill herself. To put things into perspective, I am in my mid thirties now with a teenage boy who luckily doesn’t know the half of it. He just knows I don’t ...

A.   15 February 2019: End all contact With her. Yes, you can. You are allowed to choose for yourself who you want in your life. This woman is toxic, and there are no laws saying you absolutely must have her in your life. One poster here wrote that she gave you life... (read in full...)

Were my comments racist?

Q.   Hi everyone, I had an interesting and slightly upsetting conversation with a friend tonight. We got on to many inane topics that a few drinks brought to the surface and he asked me about my ‘type’. I explained that I am not someone to gener...

A.   15 February 2019: You're not racist. And your friend is probably pansexual, or Close to it, if he really can see Beyond all things related to appearance besides size (and then he appears to only care about size because he thinks its a personal choice... like who ... (read in full...)

Are their comments a sign of insecurity? How do I reply to them?

Q.   I admit this question is more of a curiosity than anything, but I ask because I've heard it a lot lately from my female coworkers and friends. They say things like, I'm old (49) or I look old, or my personal favorite, "one advantage of working in a ...

A.   13 February 2019: "old people are interesting and have ancient wisdom to offer" Don't say that! I'd feel like an exhibit at a museum if someone told me that, haha!... (read in full...)

Are their comments a sign of insecurity? How do I reply to them?

Q.   I admit this question is more of a curiosity than anything, but I ask because I've heard it a lot lately from my female coworkers and friends. They say things like, I'm old (49) or I look old, or my personal favorite, "one advantage of working in a ...

A.   13 February 2019: Yes, it's fishing for compliments. Unless they are on the autism spectrum or schizoid, in which case they are just stating the obvious. How to handle it? If they are Fishing for compliments, you can tell them "no, you look like you are in your ... (read in full...)

Our sex life shouldn’t be this dull!

Q.   Hi my partner and I have been together for 5 years our sex life has never been amazing it’s always just been boring even when I suggest something new he’s not interested we haven’t had sex now for 6 weeks so I knew he was up to something I looked at ...

A.   13 February 2019: But your sex life was never amazing anyway, you said. From the beginning he also told you he has a low sex drive. Woman, listen! This is not difficult to grasp. The man is this way, always will be this way, and you knew that years ago and you ... (read in full...)

I want to be at a place where women would be in abundance.

Q.   After a night out, I realized some things about my future with women. We went out for a close friends birthday and had dinner with 20+ friends. Then we went to a club/bar in the city where much of our med school was there. I had fun dancing with my ...

A.   13 February 2019: "Why are you holding her pizza? Are you her gay best friend?" I have nothing against anyone gay. I have gay friends who are great people. I was just insulted that my lack in ability to get with women made her think I'm gay. You know, sometime... (read in full...)

I just found out my girlfriend doesn't like her breasts touched during sex

Q.   i been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 5-6 years and i love her very much and i just founded out that she doesn't like it when i touch or caressed or fondle her breast when we were being intimate or playful she say it makes her feel ...

A.   11 February 2019: ... Im a bit speachless here. You serious think about breaking up with her because she doesnt want you to touch her breasts during sex? How to handle it? Eh, I think its simple, you just stop touch her boobs during sex. Is there a particul... (read in full...)

Has anyone ever lost their libido to this degree due to boredom and lack of emotional connection and was I selfish for not being a sexually dutiful partner?

Q.   Thank you to anyone who reads and responds to my post. I recently separated from a 9 year relationship, 4 years living together. I'm not sure if I have done the right thing but what I do know is that I am heart broken knowing I have broken his ...

A.   11 February 2019: I think society puts relationships on a too high pedestal. As a woman with a job on her own and means to pay her own bills, you do not need a relationship in order to survive. Relationships are then not something you should feel obligated to be in, ... (read in full...)

My ex changed my Netflix avatar on his account

Q.   Hi all, My boyfriend split up with me a couple of weeks ago and i have not heard from him (we had a fall out) He has a Netflix account and he has himself, my daughter and me on it with our names which have always been under a square blank...

A.   11 February 2019: A sign of what? I dont see what it would mean if it was to mean anything. It has the same meaning to me as rocks on the ground. Maybe they were laid there for a purpose, but probably they landed there on random. Its been two weeks, that's v... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is preoccupied with his size and performance

Q.   Recently my B/f has become paronoid about not being able to please me. He ususaly lasts a min or two and then that is it. Plus he worries that as he isnt as big as he would like to be that I might not be enjoying our love life as much as I could. ...

A.   11 February 2019: It's hard not to laugh at this, because its such a clishè. But at the same time, I fully understand how frustrating this must be for you. I have been in a relationship with a man with low sexual confidence myself, and know all too well how ... (read in full...)

In a polyamorous relationship and the woman is pregnant. How do I deal with the pregnancy?

Q.   I'm in a very unfamiliar type of situation and not sure where to turn for advice. I am a woman dating a married couple (FMF polyamorous triad) for about 6 months, and we have all been getting along great to where we spend most days together, and ...

A.   10 February 2019: In a three way relationship, as in all relationships, you need to be in agreement with all parties about such things as making a baby. So if your girlfriend isnt in on it, its a no brainer: you say no. Its either everyone agrees, or no go. Dont ... (read in full...)

My friend’s study habits really bother me and may affect my education!

Q.   So this isn’t anything to do with love but I don’t know who else to ask. I am currently in my second year of university and have made some incredible friends, throughout the first year they pushed me to achieve the best grades so when coming to g...

A.   10 February 2019: Why cant you just say you already have plans on how to do this project/module on your own? Its perfectly acceptable to say you dont want to work in a group every now and then.... (read in full...)

I think this is not acceptable and he thinks I’m overreacting!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been in a Log Distance Relationship for several years now. We just saw each other this past week. We do have plans to be together physically within the next year or so. Tonight, I received a call and then a text from him that...

A.   8 February 2019: There is norhing directly wrong in what he did. But it was inconsiderate. You told him how you feel about it. Then let it go. You will both learn from this. Make up now.... (read in full...)

Why was my boyfriend so weird about his phone? Is he trying to hide something from me?

Q.   I was at my boyfriends been together two years and I went to sit down on the bed and saw his phone there so picked it up to move it as soon as I picked it up he snatched it out my hand now I am thinking is he hiding something from me? Has anyone got ...

A.   7 February 2019: So he is always asking who you message and tries to see what is on your phone? To me that is a red flag when you combine it with his possessiveness over his own phone. People who have something to hide tend to believe everyone else has something to ... (read in full...)

Why was my boyfriend so weird about his phone? Is he trying to hide something from me?

Q.   I was at my boyfriends been together two years and I went to sit down on the bed and saw his phone there so picked it up to move it as soon as I picked it up he snatched it out my hand now I am thinking is he hiding something from me? Has anyone got ...

A.   6 February 2019: Unless he has been acting suspicious, I wouldnt put any meaning to this. People have grown extremely attached to their phones ever since the smartphone came. ... (read in full...)

Does it sound like my boyfriend is married or not?

Q.   I found out my boyfriend had someone else a couple of years ago.this woman has phoned me a few times claiming to be his wife but what she says doesn't add up.he admits to having had a relationship with her but denies they are married.when I first ...

A.   5 February 2019: This sounds like a whole lot of uneccessary drama. I wonder why you dont find yourself a normal man who doesnt have this much drama and shady business surrounding him? Or do you enjoy the drama and other women calling you, maybe he's cheating, he ... (read in full...)

I’m miserable in our relationship and don’t know what to do!

Q.   Hi I’ve been with my fiancé for 5 years now we split up for a couple of months last year we got back together but I told him things needed to change as soon as he gets home from work he starts getting stoned I go to work half hour after he comes ...

A.   5 February 2019: Suggestion: break up. This isn't going to change. Not a chance. It's been 5 years, if he wanted change you would have seen it a long time ago. If you're not happy, then you must take responsibility for your own happiness and end this relationship. ... (read in full...)

How do I turn men down without actually spelling it out that I'm not interested?

Q.   So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...

A.   4 February 2019: God. Just say you arent interested. Anything else is just childish and poor manners. Youre not offending them or hurting their feelings by being honest. Its a sign of respect to be honest. Lying or just ignoring them is just rude. ... (read in full...)

Why do people ignore me and focus on my husband? Why am I always invisible?

Q.   When my husband and I are out people address him only . Even today for example a guide at a gallery approached us to to speak and addressed the whole talk to husband even though he showed limited interest and I showed interest . My husband had said...

A.   4 February 2019: Do these rude people have anything in common? Such as age, gender etc? Would be easier to guess if they have something in common?... (read in full...)

I'm bisexual and I have a girlfriend but I develop deep, emotional but non-sexual bonds with much older women. Why does this happen?

Q.   Hi everyone! Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I'm not sure my question belongs on a relationship site, but this is seems like the most suited place I've come across so far so I'm just gonna give it a try. I'm a bisexual (or pan...

A.   4 February 2019: Its just a human connection. I say enjoy it unless it interferes with your life in a negative way. Deep thinkers, philosophical people and charismatic people often experience these connections. I say so, because Im an eccentric person myself, and I ... (read in full...)

My cheating ex dotes on his new girlfriend

Q.   So I found out my partner was cheating on me November last year and I ditched him (yay) Our 2 year relationship was pretty rocky throughout and so I absolutely know in my head that I have done the right thing by leaving him. My gripe though...

A.   4 February 2019: Don't worry. There is karma, and it will bite his butt. He will live a miserable and lonely life. Whatever doting you see now is just for show. Im sure he will be treating this new girlfriend like piss, if he isn't already doing it and she's just ... (read in full...)

I love dogs but my boyfriend doesn't. How can I make him change his mind?

Q.   My bf and me got into an argument tonight because we were talking about dogs and I said they are better than people. He asked why I think that. I said because dogs are so selfless and pure. They are always happy and love unconditionally. Unlike ...

A.   4 February 2019: PS. I love animals myself, and we currently have two dogs. I could not imagine life without a pet. If I had a boyfriend who denied me having a pet, I would end the relationship. No joke. Yes, having pets is restrictive. But it's a way of life.... (read in full...)

I love dogs but my boyfriend doesn't. How can I make him change his mind?

Q.   My bf and me got into an argument tonight because we were talking about dogs and I said they are better than people. He asked why I think that. I said because dogs are so selfless and pure. They are always happy and love unconditionally. Unlike ...

A.   4 February 2019: Oh, honey, look, this is not the man for you. The question isn't how you can make him love dogs. You can't. The question is rather: shouldn't you find a boyfriend who loves dogs? No man is Worth giving up Your dreams or desires for. If you love... (read in full...)

Were my in-laws out of line or did my brother overreact to an innocent question?

Q.   My in-laws have a problem with boundaries and they are kind of are drama queens. My younger brother on the other hand is more of a private person. So my wife and I had a six month old baby. On Christmas Day, we all had our families over (m...

A.   4 February 2019: Dont be the middle man. Its not your fight. And I side with your brother.... (read in full...)

I'm tempted to move out while he's away at the wedding

Q.   I am having severe mixed feelings . My fiancé and I have been together 3 years (engaged for 9 months now) . Long story short things were extremely on and off for the first two years until he finally realized what he had and asked me to marry him . ...

A.   3 February 2019: It sounds to me like he is sticking up for you. You weren't meant to read that message. And you haven't heard or read what he's said to stand up for you. You don't know. I get that it hurts. Families can be really shitty. I know all too well. I also ... (read in full...)

What is more important for a long term relationship: sexual attraction or comapnionship?

Q.   The last two relationships I was in were with two very different types of people. One was with a guy who flirted with me from the day we met, and who I was strongly attracted to. Once we broke the ice we couldn't keep our hands off each other. The ...

A.   3 February 2019: I have to say, for a long term partner you need both. You need someone who turns you on AND stimulates you mentally on a more friendship/kindred level. If it's just one or the other, then that's your reason for why it didn't last more than 10 months ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend wants his Playstation

Q.   Hellooo Everyone, I'm going to try and keep this simple. My boyfriend and I were meant to be going to visit his family for the weekend. On Saturday, I will be home alone for about 7 hours while everyone goes and watches a football game ...

A.   3 February 2019: Oh, I know what is going on here. I was in a relationship with a man like this, it's a case of "bro's before ho's". You're dating an omega of a pack, that's what you've got here. He will do anything to be a member of his pack, in this case his ... (read in full...)

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