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*higirl

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Im shocked to discover that I've written well over 9000 answers on DearCupid! As the years go by, I never seem to lose interest in the lives and love troubles that goes on around the world.

Latest articles:

How to avoid being used financially

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...

What I've learned from my family.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...

How one person changed my life

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...

1234567891011Next > [223 pages, 8882 answers]

I don't have a partner, it makes me sad. What am I doing wrong?

Q.   I am 32 and single for nearly nine years. At this time of the year my loneliness feels suffocating and I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope with the fact that there is no telling whether I will spend the next nine years or more alone.Given my ...

A.   16 February 2018: I met both my ex and then my current boyfriend online on dating sites. Met many more perfectly normal and handsome men there too for dates. So give me a break with saying how its not you or how terrible it must be. Youre being judgmental, and online ... (read in full...)

Any advise on what I can do to feel more relaxed while trying to learn and do my new job?

Q.   Pls help! I have issues with anxiety and panic attacks. I have recently joined this new firm where most of my colleagues are from the best schools and are really smart. It's great that this opportunity had come through and the job is something tha...

A.   14 February 2018: Stick to it for at least two months and then ask yourself if this is the right place for you or not. Anywhere new would still be intimidating after only two days. ... (read in full...)

Is pregnancy a normal turn on for a man ?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together about 6 months and we have a pretty normal happy relationship. Decent sex life and I love him and care for him dearly. I see a future for us. There is one thing that always comes up though recently. Pregna...

A.   14 February 2018: Its just a fantasy / fetish of his. Nothing to worry about, unless you find it a turn off. In which case it just means you are incompatible. ... (read in full...)

Can a relationship that started out purely for sexual hookups actually amount to more.

Q.   A year ago I started a purely sexual relationship with a friend of my ex bfs. We had both just gotten out of relationship so we were only looking for a hookup. It was suppose to be a one time thing but turned into regular hookups. They were amazing ...

A.   13 February 2018: Yes. ... (read in full...)

He's driving me crazy, how do I get him out without involving courts or police?

Q.   I'm back again with another question. I asked my last question in Novemeber, long story short, I was asking why I didn't want to marry my fiance, and I got most answered that suggested talking to him. So I did a few weeks later and told him I didn't ...

A.   13 February 2018: Tell him you break up with him. And that he needs to leave. There is no staying together and living separately in this case. End it.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is a great guy and good looking but I'm not sure that I fancy him

Q.   Hi, I have a problem with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do about it. We've been together for 3 months and I absolutely love him - he's kind, attentive, loyal and loving and we get on really well. He's become my best friend. The pr...

A.   8 February 2018: PS. As a reply to the anon poster who said it's a catch 22 situation: it't not. Yes, there are fights in passionate relationships. But how do you imagine you will not turn into a bitch yourself if you get fed up and constantly annoyed by your ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is a great guy and good looking but I'm not sure that I fancy him

Q.   Hi, I have a problem with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do about it. We've been together for 3 months and I absolutely love him - he's kind, attentive, loyal and loving and we get on really well. He's become my best friend. The pr...

A.   8 February 2018: .. You say you love him? Uh-oh, you don't. Nothing wrong with not loving him, you're not obligated to love him just because he's good looking and he likes you. Doesn't mean you HAVE to like him back. He's just not your cup of tea. And there's ... (read in full...)

Is my friend jealous?

Q.   Hey aunts! Can someone explain what’s wrong with my friend? We met in high school and we became really close. She always had boyfriends but I was always the single friend. So as time went on she got into a two year relationship while I got my 1st b...

A.   8 February 2018: I'm going to write what I believe is her point of view, or what could be her thoughts. Just a wild guess. You post cheesy love poems on facebook? To just push everyones face into it and show off? Yeah, that's really over sharing and would ma... (read in full...)

How can I deal with racist comments?

Q.   How can I deal with racist people ? I am a European ( originally born in chech) and came here at 3. I have been in the states for 27 Years my life has been shaped here - I love this county and never want to love. I can not identify with people and ...

A.   4 February 2018: You know what, people are ignorant. That's why they say these stupid things. Don't take it to heart, because it has nothing to do with you. It only says something about their level of intellect. Really. They haven't traveled abroad, they don't know ... (read in full...)

Do we ever stop dreaming about our ex boyfriends?

Q.   Why can’t I stop having dreams of my ex boyfriend? It’s been two years since we broke up and with a good reason. Why can’t I just forget about him like I have with my other bfs? Is it because I dated him the longest? ...

A.   17 January 2018: Is it daydreaming or night time dreaming? If by night: it means you have unresolved issues with yourself that came to surface in association with your ex. If daytime dreaming: means you want a relationship and you think of him as hes the latest one ... (read in full...)

I'm getting married soon so why am I thinking of this other guy?

Q.   Hello, a few days ago i went to a family wedding with my fiancee. Everyone had a great time and got on well, it was brilliant! Only problem is, my cousin brought a friend with him who i now cant stop thinking about. We found we had a lot in com...

A.   17 January 2018: Look, humans arent wired to be with just one lifetime partner. You will still find others attractive and interesting. No matter how great things are at home. To get married and staying faithful is a choice you make. Not just something you do by ... (read in full...)

I want marriage and children, is he wasting my time?

Q.   So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years we both have crazy work schedules so I suggested that we get a place together somewhere located centrally Between both of our apartments.In my mind it’s the perfect solution so we can spend more ...

A.   15 January 2018: He is wasting your time. But you should have talked to him about the future, marriage/kids from early on. Like, when you were just dating. Some say it's too early, but people in general tend to know what sort of relationship they are aiming at. ... (read in full...)

Is there a way to make up for our different dimensions?

Q.   I had my eye on a guy at work for quite some time. He’s my age, works out a lot - has a great smile and easy way about him that I liked. But most of all, we have great chemistry. In fact there’s always been some sexual tension between us. A ...

A.   14 January 2018: Didn't see your update. Seriously, you want to try a relationship? I would not recommend it. It'd be one thing if you had feelings for him and then discovered his size. By then you'd have worked out whether you were in a relationship or not, you'd ... (read in full...)

Is there a way to make up for our different dimensions?

Q.   I had my eye on a guy at work for quite some time. He’s my age, works out a lot - has a great smile and easy way about him that I liked. But most of all, we have great chemistry. In fact there’s always been some sexual tension between us. A ...

A.   14 January 2018: This was a booty call to you. Nothing else. If you wanted a serious relationship with him, you wouldn't have started it off by jumping straight to bed. You had a nice flirt and you wanted sex. People, as a rule, do the things they want. Action ... (read in full...)

How do we reconcile our differences over children?

Q.   Dear Cupid. So I’m sitting here in tears (currently hormonal) because my partner of 3 years has just told me during a conversation about cars and the future, and me wanting children in 2/3 years time as i’ll be 27-28...(I’m currently 24, 25...

A.   12 January 2018: At his age, a lot of men dont want kids. If you want them now, or you want a relationship first and then a few years later kids, then find someone else. If he doesnt know now, there is no guarantee he will know later on. Find an older, more mature ... (read in full...)

Some advice on circumsision please

Q.   I'm nearly 26 years old and uncircumcised. In my country, only a certain religious group practice this. But now I hear it can be done as a medical procedure and it is beneficial for hygeine and is actually recommended by WHO. Am I too old to do it ...

A.   12 January 2018: It is not beneficial for hygiene. Youve lived with foreskin all these years now. So far, have you had any troubles because of it? No? Then dont do it. Removing foreskin will make you lose sensitivity and any operation includes a risk of infection or ... (read in full...)

I'm addicted to cheating

Q.   Well my life is the biggest mess ever im in two relationships one long distance and one local. Yet i keep dating other guys and girls i just cant seem to stop cheating. What is wrong with me ? I have been abused alot by men i dont know if that has ...

A.   12 January 2018: What do you mean by "abused"? If you could give more info, it would be helpful. ... (read in full...)

My partner wants to move back to his home country but I'm not sure if I'll fit in

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years. He's from the Czech Republic and I'm from the UK, where we both live together and rent a flat. I have visited the Czech Republic three times now (accompanying him to see his family), althoug...

A.   11 January 2018: Lots of czeck people speak english. Not to worry. ... (read in full...)

The conversation will revolve around babies, should I suck it up and go?

Q.   I am a happily married 37 yo childfree woman. Next sunday two friends of my hubby - invited us to lunch. His pals are both married, so we’re talking about lunch with two couples. One couple has a three year old very lively boy and another has just...

A.   11 January 2018: Why cant he go alone? ... (read in full...)

His email to his brother hurts more than his affair

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...

A.   11 January 2018: He doesnt love you. When you love someone, you dont treat them like crap. ... (read in full...)

My husband raised a boy as his own, but now he is 19 I don't want him included in our family!

Q.   Hi Just need a bit of advice...my husband met a woman who already had a child 17 years ago. My husband then helped bring him up, however when this child become 13/14 he came into a lot of trouble and trouble has followed him since. Oliver no...

A.   7 January 2018: Can you tell us how the baby is taking any harm in this? You mention twice that you need to protect the baby, but I don't see in your description how the baby is at all influenced or in harms way here. It sounds more like you simply do not like this ... (read in full...)

My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking

Q.   We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...

A.   4 January 2018: Yes, it is true from your wife that she does it for tanning. And yes, it is also true that other men stare. I think you should discuss it with her again, but without accusation. Do not suggest she lies. Instead speak from your heart. Other me... (read in full...)

I'm attracted to his personality and not so much to his looks. Can a relationship work like this?

Q.   Hi Everyone! Can a relationship work on personality attraction alone l? I’ve met the most amazing guy I’ve quite possibly ever encountered before. We met in the gym where he works, I did NOT find him atttactive at all when I first met him. The...

A.   1 January 2018: Can a relationship work workout that huge physical response? No. But in your case, is this really a matter of not being attracted, or him just being somewhat outside of the norm for what you typically find attractive? I am going to be blun... (read in full...)

Can this violent, abusive relationship be saved?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over two years now. We have a house together and before we moved in, we had a great time. However when we moved in, he kept throwing parties and his friends would strip naked and jump into our bed, be ...

A.   30 December 2017: Nope, time to leave. This is a shitty person, you don't want to be with this type of man, trust me. Get out of there while you can. ... (read in full...)

How do I fix a bad first impression and make him look at me again?

Q.   Afew months ago there was a personal trainer who kept looking at me and watching me from afar; I'd look over to him and he never smiled nor turned away. It was quite intimidating so I looked away and didn't pay too much attention. His actually ...

A.   30 December 2017: Just say hi to him next time you walk by, without stopping, and without doing anything special. Just a quick hi when passing by. Maybe a smile. Nothing big. It'll get things started again. Because the ball is on your side of the field now, that's ... (read in full...)

Worried my girlfriend will cheat while out of town on NYE.

Q.   My girlfriend of seven years is going to spend New Years Eve with a friend of hers who lives in another state. This is the first NYE we will spend apart since we've gotten together. My girlfriend (and her friend, who has been her best friend ...

A.   29 December 2017: If she wanted to cheat she wouldn't need to go to NY to do it. If she wanted an affair, it'd be much more probable that she would have one at home, and not in a city where she barely goes to visit. Not that this would comfort you, just pointing... (read in full...)

How do I tell my mum that we're back together?

Q.   I've been through a bit of a messy break-up in the last 6 months. Naturally I turned to my mum for advice/someone to cry to. I've told her a lot of the problems me and my bf had been having, and how he'd been treating me. As far as she's concerned, ...

A.   29 December 2017: Firstly, never get back together with an ex. There is a reason you broke up, and as long as that reason is still there, you will break up again. Second, dont go tell people all about troubles in a relationship, simply because of this. They will, of ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to be near me when I am sick.

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for past 2 years and it's going on good and we meet on weekends and stay together on weekend. One thing that concerns me, not sure if I should be, he doesn't want to meet and around me whenever I'm sick, he says he doesn...

A.   22 December 2017: I would dump him. Ever heard of "in sickness and health"? I want to be taken care of when sick. I do the same in return. Omg imagine if you lived together /started a family. He would evacuate the house each time someone got sick and leave you alone ... (read in full...)

I found men's boxers next to my hot tub!

Q.   I have a hot tub in the back of the house. The yard is not fenced and there is open space behind where people often walk. Last night I found a pair of men's boxers that are not mine laying on the ground next to the tub. My wife of 19 years said ...

A.   21 December 2017: Really. Are you naive? Yes, someone helped themselves to a skinny dipping in your pool, and your wife was not invited. Get a fence or an alarm, or next you will find someone did more than just take a bath there. ... (read in full...)

Should I own up to my size?

Q.   I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...

A.   17 December 2017: I would prefer a guy to let things go by the flow and enjoy himself. Girls dont need or want a large penis. We want a great kisser and someone who is passionate in bed. Someone who enjoys making us feel good. That's what makes someone a great lover. ... (read in full...)

Should I own up to my size?

Q.   I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...

A.   17 December 2017: I would prefer a guy to let things go by the flow and enjoy himself. Girls dont need or want a large penis. We want a great kisser and someone who is passionate in bed. Someone who enjoys making us feel... (read in full...)

I have a health problem that makes me feel unworthy of a man's love

Q.   What really makes us worthy of love? I have been losing hair since teenage years and my hair density has gradually declined (not bald yet). With treatment, I have stopped the hair loss to some extent and seeing some new hair growth. But, fig...

A.   15 December 2017: A woman carries her pride in her hair. It is no wonder you feel the way you do with hairloss. For majority of women, their hair is their pride, their femininity, their self esteem. There is a reason why cutting a womans hair was seen as a terrible ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is being brutally honest and I can't cope with it.

Q.   Been dating for a year and it's the BEST relationship I've ever been in. However, he's starting to be brutally honest and I'm not liking it. I've told him how I felt, even cried and I try to avoid certain topics just because where it can lead to. He ...

A.   15 December 2017: Being in an honest relationship means you don't lie. So that means you can not ask him things unless you are prepared to hear the truthful answer. But, being honest does not mean you deliberately say hurtful things without being asked. That is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is being brutally honest and I can't cope with it.

Q.   Been dating for a year and it's the BEST relationship I've ever been in. However, he's starting to be brutally honest and I'm not liking it. I've told him how I felt, even cried and I try to avoid certain topics just because where it can lead to. He ...

A.   15 December 2017: Being in an honest relationship means you don't lie. So that means you can not ask him things unless you are prepared to hear the truthful answer. But, being honest does not mean you deliberately say hurtful things without being asked. That is ... (read in full...)

He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.

Q.   I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...

A.   15 December 2017: This man is not for you. I know you don't want to hear this, but I believe you should end this relationship. There is no need to argue further over this. This is an incompatibility issue. You are who you are, he is who he is. Neither is wrong. But ... (read in full...)

My female friend said she had an "inappropriate" dream about me. What could it be?

Q.   A friend of the opposite gender brought something up. We were talking about dreams, all sorts of dreams, and then she said 'I had a dream about you recently'. I asked what the dream was about and then after a long pause she responded with 'it's ...

A.   15 December 2017: Do you really need to ask? It was sexual. But don't take it as a sign she wants a relationship. Sex in a dream does not mean you want sex in real life with this person. It is just a dream that means she is exploring herself and who she is, comparing ... (read in full...)

Is this my motherhood talking or would I have changed my mind as I grew older anyway?

Q.   I have a daughter who will soon become a teenager. (they grow up sooo fast!). My sister commented that we'll soon have some dating-drama in the house. Which made me think of my teenage and young adult years. What would I do as a mother if my dau...

A.   15 December 2017: I get what you mean, I often have these "thought games" myself and ask myself what I would have done had I been my own mother in this and that circumstance. What I always conclude with, after giving it thought, is that you can not even generalize. ... (read in full...)

How do I control something that is so compulsive in my nature?

Q.   I dunno if this is the right place to ask this question but here goes... I'm a motorcyclist and I'm impulsive and crave the thrill of speed.I had another accident today... This must be my fifth and it looks like I have completely torn my rotator ...

A.   10 December 2017: Driving a motorcycle is not instinctive. You're doing it because, to be honest, you aren't mature enough yet to understand consequences. How else can you explain that you end up in accidents and then you "forget" about it after just two weeks. It's ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my wife to work on her weight problem and not just moan about it

Q.   How can I encourage my Mrs to lose weight. We have been married 6 yrs, she was gorgeous slim when we met. Over the years I have told her she is getting big and she should try and maintain shape before it gets out of control. Her response is that she ...

A.   6 December 2017: *precisely, not precipice (autospell)... (read in full...)

How do I tell my wife to work on her weight problem and not just moan about it

Q.   How can I encourage my Mrs to lose weight. We have been married 6 yrs, she was gorgeous slim when we met. Over the years I have told her she is getting big and she should try and maintain shape before it gets out of control. Her response is that she ...

A.   6 December 2017: I get your issue. I was in a similar situation myself once. Although in my case, my then boyfriend was already fat when we started dating. And I don't mean that in an offensive way, just objectively he was fat. And he was becoming bigger. But the ... (read in full...)

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