Can you have an STD if you're a virgin?
Q. Is it possible to have an STD when you're a virgin? Beside crabs and scabies and such. Just curious......
A. 24 July 2008: No. Obviously you can't. If you don't have sex, then any disease you catch hasn't been sexually transmitted.
BUT you can get numerous diseases from close contact with another person that aren't sexually transmitted. AND some diseases that ARE... (read in full...)
I want to look more feminine for my boyfriend (but I HATE pink). Any advice?
Q. Hi. I want to look more feminine for my boyfriend but I don't know how. I'm 22 so i should know but I don't. Usually I wear jeans and t shirts sometimes a skirt but I look really fat and horrible and don't feel at all girly. I'm a size 14/16 and ...
A. 21 July 2008: Do you want to look "girly", or do you want to excite him? Because for most men (well, for me anyway!) it's not the same thing at all.
"Girly" is soft colours and loose, flowing clothes that suggest but don't show or reveal. Nice, but not a th... (read in full...)
People were worried about me. Now I'm geting worried myself. Do I need a psychiatrist?
Q. This is going to sound wierd, but people are concerned about my mental health and to be honest, so am I. I am VERY paranoid, if something happens I DO take it the wrong way every time, so that it ends up like things are against me.I panic easily, ...
A. 20 July 2008: No, I don't think you have anything wrong mentally, and I don't think you need a psychiatrist. You need a good long talk with one of your parents or with a teacher.
You're in the 13-15 age group, right? Well, you write intelligently, accurate... (read in full...)
What do I do about the left over food I keep throwing in my neighbor's yard?
Q. i have a problem with throwing things in my neighbors yard...not actual litter, but things like hamburger rolls, half eaten peaches etc...i got in the habit of doing this in the beginning of the summer and now I'm afraid my neighbors are gonna get ...
A. 20 July 2008: I can't believe the irresponsible answers (or the moderators that let them through...).
Right. Serious answer. It's a fairly anti-social activity, isn't it? They are going to know it's you anyway. So arm yourself with rubbish sack and (if the ... (read in full...)
He asked if I would wear a strap on and take him from behind?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 8 months now. We were fine at first but now.... He has started asking really difficult sexual favours from me. He recently asked me if i would wear and strap on and take him from behind?!?! I didnt know what ...
A. 17 July 2008: If you're not happy with it, then tell him you're not happy with it. Tell him doing anything like that makes you feel uncomfortable. If he can't understand that and accept it, then he's not the right man for you.
But don't misunderstand him. An... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by standing by my values and principles?
Q. I am a person who stands by their values and principles. Yet so many others my age seem to be having sex and on the pill, dressing slutily (think I may have just made up a word there!), drinking to the point of vomiting and passing out, partying all ...
A. 17 July 2008: Absolutely right to hold to your values, principles and beliefs. No one, and I do mean NO ONE has any right to tell you how to behave in any way whatsoever (as long as whatever you do doesn't have a detrimental impact on other people - and of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stares at other women... should I be worried?
Q. My fiance and I are preparing to get married next year. We live together and are very much in love. The thing that bothers me is that whenever we are driving places together... he stares so much at other women. He stares into cars, women walking ...
A. 17 July 2008: If it bothers you, tell him it bothers you.
Some people get really annoyed by it, and for others it doesn't bother them at all.
I do it - look at women. My wife just takes the p***. "There's a nice woman for you," she points out with a big g... (read in full...)
I embraced Christianity, but I still have the urge to be a swinger. Can anyone help me?
Q. Wow this is scary, but I just thought it would be easier then going to a counselor or something. Before I gave my heart to Christ, my very beautiful and yes sexy wife and I played around with the thoughts of swinging. After we be came Christian we ...
A. 17 July 2008: Swinging, or threesomes, don't work for most people - although a few do manage that sort of lifestyle along with a lasting relationship. Too often they think it sounds exciting and it ends up damaging the relationship.
As I see it, the whole po... (read in full...)
Help wanted: extra agony aunts/uncles required
Q. I've been a member of this site for a while now, and from what I've seen here, I can conclude almost every agony aunt/uncle here is a good person: someone who likes to help out, to dish out wisdom by the barrel. I have thoroughly enjoyed adding to ...
A. 17 July 2008: Well said!
I think there are a number of issues with the replies to questions on a site like this, primarily because anyone can post their views and unless a reply is obviously unhelpful, abusive or otherwise detrimental to the asker of the ques... (read in full...)
Would you cheat on a boat with George Clooney?
Q. If you were married and knew it was going to be the end of the world and you were on a boat with George Clooney, would you cheat? What movie star would get you to cheat?...
A. 15 July 2008: No, I think the end of the world isn't really the best time to start cheating.
Although, as Uncle Phil and Daniel Pew said, if Flower Tucci OR Nicole Kidman were to ask VERY nicely, I might seriously consider it...... (read in full...)
Just how risky is the 'pull out' method?
Q. Hi, My partner and I have sex all the time without using protection. I am waiting for my next period to get an implamon though (maybe). I'm also more then aware of the invention of condoms so this is not the advice I am looking for. What I ...
A. 15 July 2008: Very risky. Extremely risky.
In fact, some researchers advise trying pulling out for couples who WANT to get pregnant - which all has something to do with the few sperm that are usually released before ejaculation being more likely to reach th... (read in full...)
How did you meet your partner?
Q. Hi everyone, I've had a lot on my mind today so to lighten the mood I wanted to find out somthing dreamy. You see, every guy I have ever been with I have met after a big night at a party or the pub/club. Im not an alco or anything I just like (well ...
A. 15 July 2008: 1978. A small town in East Germany.
The door burst open.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
The voice was sharp and furious. And English.
I looked round, pausing what I was doing for a moment.
She looked completely... (read in full...)
How can I tell him we need to have more sex if we want to have a baby?
Q. My boyfriend and I would love to have a child somewhere in the near future but we have one problem, we hardly ever have sex. If my period is late he gets all excited but I know that I cant be pregnant because we barely had any sex that month. Take...
A. 15 July 2008: More sex is good, and this is something you may need to work on with him - but it's NOT a case of "more sex gets you pregnant".
In fact, less sex but getting the timing exactly right is far more likely to get you pregnant than more sex - particul... (read in full...)
He probably doesn't like me. Should I tell him how I feel anyway?
Q. Hello. I have a question about the relationship with my friend. I have liked him for over a year now. He's liked me in the past, but he might have moved on. He's not willing to date me, however. Or anyone for that matter. Afraid of commitment maybe? ...
A. 15 July 2008: Is there anything to lose by telling him? What's the worst that's going to happen?
If you don't take the chance then you'll never know for sure how he feels.... (read in full...)
Slept with a few girls but too scared to go to the clinic for a check?
Q. I've slept with a few girls, but too scared to go to clinic what should i do?...
A. 15 July 2008: Just go to the clinic for a check. Nothing to be scared of.
NOT going to the clinic IS something to be scared of.... (read in full...)
Working through it, or break up. Your views please?
Q. I recently read a post on your site, it was from a man whose girlfriend had cheated on him and it was said that after 2 or so years he still hadn’t gotten over it. The advice on this site was if he hasn’t gotten over it in that length of time he ...
A. 14 July 2008: I don't think you need to forgive or forget, but you need to be able to accept that it happened and to work on your relationship without the whole thing being constant suspicion or permanent blame. As you say, you can't dwell on the past forever - ... (read in full...)
I'm being married but he still keeps pictures of his deceased wife in his house...
Q. I'm getting married in August after 3 years of total happiness with my fiance. We have waited until now to move in together and will be moving to a new house with his teenage children. Their mother died 10 years ago and obviously there are photos of ...
A. 14 July 2008: I think you should let him keep the pictures on display. Actually, no: I think you should encourage him to keep her pictures on display.
This isn't a matter of letting the children or the extended family dictate your life, it's a matter of respe... (read in full...)
I'm not worried about this other girl, but does this plan sound good with my ex?
Q. Just to start off I have a deep love for my ex and now we're planning to get back together but there's a catch. You see he doesn't have much trust towards women due to what many have done him wroung including myself. So he's been talkin to someo...
A. 12 July 2008: Threeway relationships rarely work, although a very few people do manage them successfully.
The odds of it working are really against it - and being bisexual or all having separate rooms doesn't necessarily help. Unless you have a real love for... (read in full...)
Men, can you recount about your relationships with younger females?
Q. Older men (i.e. 30 and up)...have you ever considered a relationship with a significantly younger female? (I am not asking for petafiles to respond.) Did you pursue the relationship? If so, what convinced you to? If not, what were the rea...
A. 12 July 2008: Yes.
No, I didn't pursue it.
Why not? Because I'm married, and I value my relationship with my wife above anything else.
And no, I have no regrets. The relationship was neither physical nor spoken. It didn't need to be. It was enou... (read in full...)
Every lad thinks I'm ugly and its really getting me down. Will I ever find a boyfriend??
Q. Ok, so Im 15 and every lad I know thinks Im ugly. Even the ones who, themselves never get girlfriends, call me ugly. It really, really gets me down. They dont count my personality or how well we get on for anything. I DO have a nice body and my ...
A. 11 July 2008: What attracts boys most, particularly as they start to mature a bit, is a little complicated - but it's most definitely NOT just about good looks.
I'm sure you don't look half as bad as you seem to think you do. Let's put it bluntly: you're f... (read in full...)
I don't even like him watching television if there's a girl with a short skirt on!!
Q. I have been with my boyfreind for 1 year and 3 months. i often argue with him because i have become so paranoid! he does'nt look at girls but my mind thinks that he is. i don't even like him watching television if theres a girl with a short skir...
A. 11 July 2008: You're going to have to accept it. It's not paranoia, it's fact. Boys, and men, look at girls.
If you find a boy who says he never looks at another girl and enjoys what he sees, then he's lying.
Where you are wrong is to think that it wi... (read in full...)
I hate myself for cheating, but I cannot seem to stop! I need to understand why I am doing this...
Q. Ok, i know people will have little sympathy for me but I cannot stay faithful. My parents died when I was 3 and I was raised by my aunt and uncle who never really had much time for me. They were'nt affectionate and in some ways seemed to resent...
A. 11 July 2008: Nearly everyone is capable of staying faithful, much in the same way that nearly everyone is capable of avoiding anti-social actions like stealing. You write clearly and intelligently, and I don't believe you have some sort of mental disturbance ... (read in full...)
We had a quarrel via the phone and now he switched his mobile off. I am tempted to talk to his mother, help?
Q. Basically ... I was going to meet up with my boyfriend today. 10 minutes before I get on the bus, he calls to tell me that he's not ready, and wants to put it forward by a day. We see each other every 2-3 weeks. I flipped ... kinda, I was probably...
A. 11 July 2008: Are you saying that what you really want to do is to apologise to him for over-reacting?
I'd say that it's quite understandable you were annoyed with him, and you really don't have a lot to apologise for. But I guess that would be a case of "win ... (read in full...)
I have made an appointment to see my doctor but I want some peace of mind until then from any nurses/doctors...
Q. Health question for any nurses/docs-i know its a long shot...Sorry to bother you with this but im getting so paranoid.. I am 25 When i was 3 years old i was diagnosed with an innocent heart murmur-its nothing to worry about and i have led a nor...
A. 10 July 2008: I'm not a nurse. I'm not a doctor. I have a little medical training, although this isn't an area I can really claim expertise. But I know some of the basics.
As I understand it, you say that the ECG picked up a thickening of the heart muscle. ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, and now I'm confused about what to do
Q. I am so confused right now. I have a boyfriend of nearly eight months, and last week I met this guy who is totally cute who likes me back. I bumped into him yesterday and we swapped numbers, we hung out for a bit and then he invited me back to h...
A. 10 July 2008: It's not exactly the affair of the century, is it?
Would I be right in thinking that you feel guilty not because of what you did (which is almost nothing) but because of what you would like to have done?
If you really want to stay with your b... (read in full...)
My girlfriend accused me of domestic abuse. Does she have a point?
Q. My girlfriend and i have not been getting along so well recently. She has recently accused me of domestic abuse which i have denied..... however i looked up the term and am now unsure as to whether my behaviour could be termed as such...... i have ...
A. 10 July 2008: Hey, you have to learn to chill out and accept that no one is perfect in any relationship, and it doesn't do you or her any good at all to behave the way you say you are behaving when your partner does something that you aren't 100% happy about.
... (read in full...)
Are my feelings overriding my common sense? Is it too early for sex after only one month together?
Q. O.k i'm nearly 17 and i've been with my boyfriend almost a month. When we were younger we went out for about eight months but it is only recently that we rekindled our relationship and i have to say the past month he has made me sooooo happy. We h...
A. 9 July 2008: It's not something that anyone can tell you.
The right time is when you both feel it's the right time.
My "gut feeling" is that for a relationship that's going to last it doesn't hurt to wait a little longer. A month is not too long, even t... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and my girlfriend is VERY experienced whereas I worry a lot. What to do in the event we do have oral sex?
Q. Alright,even though some of this may sound wrong,I'm going to be completely honest about everything. I'm 15 years old in 3 months,and I have really low confidence in myself.I have a girlfriend and we've been dating for a month now. She's had seve...
A. 9 July 2008: Do what you feel comfortable doing. If it doesn't feel 100% comfortable, then don't do it or don't let her do it.
For a start you can get any ideas out of your head like those that seem to be worrying you. No, your penis is not too small. ... (read in full...)
He texted me 80 messages, but still, my confidence level is low, does he really like me or what?
Q. And please dnt tell me its in his kiss lol! im having this problem with a guy in work that i really really like we have had many converstaions about the whole situation and he totally knows how much i like him! he has told me that he is totally fl...
A. 9 July 2008: So this poor guy has sent you 80 texts and still you're not sure that he likes you?
Of course he likes you. Right now you're the best thing since sliced bread as far as he's concerned. What do you need? Jam on it too? You're driving him craz... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to act around my parent's friends, any advice?
Q. i am nervous about seeing a show with my parent's friends because I don't know them and never seen them before. I'm nervous because i'm afraid that they might talk bad about me, criticize me, laugh at me. What should I do? Since my parents told me ...
A. 9 July 2008: Firstly, it really doesn't matter what your parents' friends think about you or say about you. We're a funny lot, adults, but as long as you don't start swearing, shouting or doing the most embarrassing things in public then I'm quite sure they ... (read in full...)
I think my gay boss fancies me. Am I imagining it?
Q. Hi I'm a straight man, 21, but I think that my gay boss (24) fancies me. Even though he has said in the past that he doesn't believe in relationships between work collegues I think he's showing signs that suggest otherwise throughout the last few ...
A. 9 July 2008: It doesn't have to be a problem, does it? So he (probably) finds you attractive, just like a million straight bosss find one or more of their female staff attractive. It only becomes a problem if you make it a problem or if he "tries it on" - and ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my cousin, and now my period is three weeks late.
Q. I have a HUGE problem. I have a great steady boyfriend of almost 4 months, and I'm pretty sure I love him. The problem is, one night i got really, really drunk (my first time drinking). I've always had a thing for my cousin who is a few years older ...
A. 8 July 2008: Yes you have a problem. With a bit of luck your period is late because you're stressed, and not because you are pregnant. Go get a pregnancy test before you start panicking.
If the pregnancy test is positive, I would recommend talking to your ... (read in full...)
The top of my penis hurts when I touch it. Am I normal?
Q. Im 14 years old. And worried if masturbating every day is a problem, aslo whilest my foreskin is back the top of my penis hurts when i touch it. is this normal?? ...
A. 8 July 2008: The top of your penis is very sensitive, and yes it's not unusual for it to hurt a little if you touch it. It will become less sensitive as you get older - the thin membrane of skin that when you're young tends to stick to your finger when you ... (read in full...)
He's Always So NIce. How Do I show Him I Care?
Q. I'm completely in love with this guy I know. We barely speak at school, but we have really intimate chats on MSN. When I saw him today, we just locked eyes. I get completely tongue-tied around him and stop speaking to my friends. He always seems ...
A. 8 July 2008: Oh yes I know exactly where you're coming from on this one. It's SO much easier to talk online than to talk face-to-face.
If he talks to you intimately online then yes he probably likes you. He's probably just as tongue-tied as you are when it'... (read in full...)
Computer Trouble, Or Is He Ignoring Me?
Q. I met a man on my holiday and we said we would stay friends. At first5 he ansawered my e mails but now he isnt so I can take it as a brush off. However If I sent e mails and they werent getting to him would it come back as undeliverable or not ...
A. 8 July 2008: Mails can get "lost in the system".
If he, or his Internet Service Provider, or his company techies if it's a business mail address/mail server, have an over-enthusiastic anti-spam filter, which is quite common these days with the amount of spam ... (read in full...)
She doesn't seem to be able to have an orgasm since she went through the menopause. What can I do?
Q. I am 49 and my new girlfriend is 49. We are both very athletic. She has gone through menopause, and now cannot reach an orgasm. What can I do? I have tried everything that I know. she wants to make sure that I am satisfied, but I want to take care ...
A. 7 July 2008: Try reading this article. It might help.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/sex-after-menopause-difficulties-delights.html... (read in full...)
Do men expect you to sleep with them right away even if you don't fancy them??
Q. Its a pity becasue although I am not spring chicxken I am told I am attractive and lots of married men seem to like me BUt why cannot I find someone who really likes me? I worked with some women once who said if you dont behave more in line of ...
A. 7 July 2008: No you most definitely don't have to sleep with a man right away.
Nor does any man worth bothering about EXPECT you to sleep with him right away. He probably HOPES you will, because that's how most of us are, but expecting it is another matter a... (read in full...)
Confused, I have a girlfriend, but attracted to certain guys, am I gay?
Q. Today I was at a friends house for his pool party, we were messing around and jumping in the pool and stuff and he dived, and his swim trunks came off. Then I jumped in after him(w/ goggles) and then everybody else. Nobody payed any attention to it ...
A. 7 July 2008: For most people, sexuality doesn't settle properly until late teens. Some know for certain much earlier, and for some they still aren't completely sure which way they want to go until very much later. Either way it's not a problem and there's no ... (read in full...)
Me and my cousin are flirting a lot. I want to have sex with her...
Q. okay i am 15 and my cousin is 14 and every time we're together i can't stop thinking about her and we always flirt every time we're together like at our family cottage me her and my sister slept in the top floor of our bunkhouse and me and her were ...
A. 6 July 2008: I just checked this out. Scrazy is absolutely right. The age of consent in Canada was 14, but was raised to 16 in a new law that took effect from 28th February THIS year. However, there are some exclusions to the new law, that might mean it'... (read in full...)
I'm scared my friend's boyfriend will ruin our friendship
Q. My best friend has this boyfriend, I am happy for her and she deserves to have a boyfriend who is devoted and wont treat her like trash, but it seems that she way more concerned about impressin him than spending time with me and our little group, ...
A. 6 July 2008: No, Winker.
If a friend’s friendship with her boyfriend offends, feeling friendly with a boyfriend or even a boyfriend’s friend will offend too. To recommend to befriend a boyfriend to intend to amend… well, to what end? Extend to your friend t... (read in full...)
Me and my cousin are flirting a lot. I want to have sex with her...
Q. okay i am 15 and my cousin is 14 and every time we're together i can't stop thinking about her and we always flirt every time we're together like at our family cottage me her and my sister slept in the top floor of our bunkhouse and me and her were ...
A. 6 July 2008: You've had some fairly forceful answers, so I hope I can put it into perspective a little.
Falling in love with your cousin isn't wrong, or dirty, or nasty or anything like that. In the UK you could marry your cousin if you wanted, although... (read in full...)
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