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*arrot2000

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Husband cheated, I asked him to leave, but his parents live with us

Q.   im constantly finding text messages from girls and my husband sending them to girls last night he got home at 3 am and he had a message telling her it was nice meeting you beutiful i cant wait to see you again sat. i dont have a girlfriend or ...

A.   23 January 2011: I'd make an "anonymous" call to the police and have them come to your house and pick him up on the outstanding warrant. ... (read in full...)

Husband cheated, I asked him to leave, but his parents live with us

Q.   im constantly finding text messages from girls and my husband sending them to girls last night he got home at 3 am and he had a message telling her it was nice meeting you beutiful i cant wait to see you again sat. i dont have a girlfriend or ...

A.   17 January 2011: If he won't leave, can you leave? Do you have family/friends you can go to?... (read in full...)

What is the price to pay for an affair when there are children involved?

Q.   I have been married for 20 years. A month ago i found out that my husband is having an affair with my best friend. My friend stood there and let me confide in her while she was having an affair with my husband, in fact she was treated like family by ...

A.   19 December 2010: baddogbj, in your country are women given the same leeway to have extramarital affairs as long as they are discrete? Would any man in China tolerate a wife who has had a lover for 15 or 20 years, so long as the husband is clearly number 1 in terms ... (read in full...)

After 10 years of faithfullness he evicted me and divorced me

Q.   At 34 i became divorced form my husband (MAJOR ISSUES and we had a friendly divorce) I had two children age 5 and 7. A year later I met the MAN OF MY DREAMS..a gift rom God. Although the man was divorced and 18 years older. He acted young and fu...

A.   5 December 2010: Don't worry. the 32 year old is going to drop his ass as soon as she finds out how broke he is. I hope you're getting spousal support.... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he understand?

Q.   I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years and known him for longer than that! We were also business partners and the best of friends suring our relationship. He cheated, I forgave him, then I found out he kept cheating on and off for 3 years! ...

A.   30 November 2010: You can't imagine life without him and that's precisely why he's been cheating on you for three years. To him, your upset is just unnecessary noise because he's not going to stop and he knows you're not going to leave him. Really, you've given him ... (read in full...)

Thinking of leaving my family for another woman.

Q.   Should I do it? Here's the background: I'm a married man, 40 years old, with 2 kids. Had an affair with a 52 year old woman. Fell in love. We broke it off because the wife was getting suspicious and the other woman was very concerned about ...

A.   30 November 2010: Perhaps no progress has been made in your counseling because you're still in contact with the other woman. Your efforts at working on your marriage have been half-hearted at best because your attention has been elsewhere. You owe it to your kid... (read in full...)

I want my lover's wife to know about us

Q.   hi i would like to know how to get y lover's wife to find out about our affair without her knowing it is me he's having the affair with. I don't want him to know either. the reason is the more unhappy he is at home the more time he coes to me. ...

A.   28 September 2010: For the record, an affair does not encourage one to LEAVE a marriage, it encourages them to STAY. An affair makes it more tolerable for them at home. They have happiness, intimacy, laughter, etc. on the outside (you) which makes them able to go home ... (read in full...)

Daughter is having an affair/baby with a married man...

Q.   Hello. My 24 year old daughter is having an affair with a 30 year old married man. It has been going on, correspondence/physical since the end of 2008. Before he was deployed to Iraq, she got pregnant and soon will be giving birth to his son. She ...

A.   16 September 2010: Just to add my $.02, while it's important to be as supportive of your daughter as possible when this mess falls apart--and it will fall apart--sometimes the most loving thing you can do as a parent is allow your children to fall on their asses. Your ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to move past this and have a happy marriage?

Q.   Does marriage get better with age and has anyone sucessfully survived a cheating spouse? I am 24 years old and have been married since I was 21. My husband and I have a child that is 2. My husband was a Marine and he had an affair while he was out ...

A.   16 September 2010: A mistake is a one-night stand; this man carried on with another woman for a while, took photos with this woman, ignored his wife and kid while he had fun, and lied when confronted with the truth. I think your husband and some of the other posters ... (read in full...)

Guys: How beautiful would a girl have to be for you to cheat with her?

Q.   They say that a guy may not purposely go out to find someone to cheat with, but that if someone latches on to THEM, they would be willing to cheat. Guys, how beautiful would a girl have to be in order to get you to cheat on your significant other ...

A.   14 September 2010: I'm pretty damned cute and my ex cheated on my with a girl who had a beard. Actually, she had a goatee. Rarely is infidelity purely about looks.... (read in full...)

We had an affair, left our marriages, but now she is considering going back to her husband!

Q.   A bit of a long story but the background is important. I was a happily married man (so I thought) until I met somebody else last year. She was also happily married (her words). Anyway, we had an affair and tried to end it by walking away but we ...

A.   13 September 2010: Slim Shady nailed it; this lady is hedging her bets and making sure she won't end up without a man. She's telling you she hasn't given her husband a commitment, but chances are he's not ready to take her back. Until they reconcile,she keeps you ... (read in full...)

G/f lied to me and was used as a sex toy for 2 years

Q.   When I met my girlfriend, she told me she hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years. While "technically," this was true, it turns out she had had a "casual relationship" with a man for two years. And she continued having sex with him for a short time even ...

A.   11 September 2010: I agree with Q; why don't you post the details of your sexual history here for comparison? That way the ladies of DC can use your past to judge whether or not you're marriage material.... (read in full...)

Married man in love with a another woman

Q.   I’ve been married for 25 yrs I am 52 and my wife is 50 we have 2 children 18 and 21. My spouse is a great mom and friend and I love her very deeply as a friend and the mother of my children, nothing else. We have no chemistry in the bedroom ...

A.   11 September 2010: You're throwing away 25 years over 7 months of hot sex. You're in a hurry to run off and start a new life for yourself, but you honestly haven't earned the right to do that yet. You blame your wife for your marital issues (she's bad in bed, she has ... (read in full...)

I cheated on my girlfriend and am racked with guilt!

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 7 years and in the last 18 months have found myself falling apart inside. I had an affair last year and the guilt and the nature of the person I had it with has destroyed my confidence. I like being with my ...

A.   10 September 2010: I think you're attributing your feelings to guilt over cheating when the real issue is that you are feeling paralyzed by your indecisiveness about whether or not to end your relationship. The fact that you cheated may indicate that although you and ... (read in full...)

If you saw a 46 year old man and a 17 year old girl holding hands or kissing in public how would you react??

Q.   My first love is 46, we've been seeing each other for a year now and we're both complete opposites but get on so well. We've cried together laughed together and he waited 4 months before we had sex.  If you didn't know anything about the people...

A.   5 September 2010: The fact that you pursued him and he responded is even sadder on his part. Deep down, you know there's something wrong with this picture. If it wasn't, you'd tell your parents. ... (read in full...)

We were on a break! but he can't forgive me.

Q.   i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. However last year we split up for 3months he split up with me because we kept arguing as i was abit overprotective. i begged and begged him back he told me no every time said he can never get back, even ...

A.   4 September 2010: Break up with this guy once and for all. You can't win with him. He seems really immature and likes to play headgames.... (read in full...)

Cheating husband says he wants me back, but still with his mistress!

Q.   Ok, i will try not to keep this too long but its quite a story. two months ago,with a 2 month old baby and 4 year old son, i discovered my husband had been texting and chatting online to an 18 year old girl who works for him. when confronted, he ...

A.   4 September 2010: He's more worried about hurting her than hurting you and your kids; he sounds like a real winner (not). Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words, and your husband's actions show that the only person he truly cares about his himself and his comfort. ... (read in full...)

If you saw a 46 year old man and a 17 year old girl holding hands or kissing in public how would you react??

Q.   My first love is 46, we've been seeing each other for a year now and we're both complete opposites but get on so well. We've cried together laughed together and he waited 4 months before we had sex.  If you didn't know anything about the people...

A.   4 September 2010: My father was 30 years older than my mother and their relationship worked--for him. He got a young, attractive, financially dependent and impressionable wife. In exchange, she got a mature, financially stable man who expected her to act like a ... (read in full...)

How can I help her make friends?

Q.   I know this isn't a love or relationship question but I love my 5 year old sister more than anything and I'm worried! She's sweet, funny, intelligent and has the kindest heart. She started kindergarden last week and all seemed fine, she loves school ...

A.   4 September 2010: How sweet! I'm glad things went well and I'm sure your little sister will have a wonderful school year.... (read in full...)

If you saw a 46 year old man and a 17 year old girl holding hands or kissing in public how would you react??

Q.   My first love is 46, we've been seeing each other for a year now and we're both complete opposites but get on so well. We've cried together laughed together and he waited 4 months before we had sex.  If you didn't know anything about the people...

A.   4 September 2010: I'd think he was exploiting you and that you probably had a low self-esteem or daddy issues. As far as the relationship working, I'd worry about your lack of life experience and that you were getting in over your head. If you think this relation... (read in full...)

I feel double betrayed by my husband

Q.   I am 25 years old, my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we have 3 children together, ages 4, 3 and 1. My husband walked out on the kids and me the day i was discharged from the hospital with our newborn babygirl (12 months ago) and he ...

A.   4 September 2010: You were able to make it on your own with him gone for 8 months, so you really don't need him. Can you leave and stay with your family? If his temper is as bad as you say it is, you need to leave this situation as a matter of safety. Get another ... (read in full...)

He doesn't love me enough to leave his children

Q.   If your married lover says that he doesn't love you enough to walk out on his children,does that mean he never will?...

A.   4 September 2010: No, he will never walk out on his children. He's already told you this; what are you not understanding? ... (read in full...)

If you saw a 46 year old man and a 17 year old girl holding hands or kissing in public how would you react??

Q.   My first love is 46, we've been seeing each other for a year now and we're both complete opposites but get on so well. We've cried together laughed together and he waited 4 months before we had sex.  If you didn't know anything about the people...

A.   4 September 2010: I'd wonder what kind of parents would allow their teenage daughter to be with a man this old. ... (read in full...)

How can I help her make friends?

Q.   I know this isn't a love or relationship question but I love my 5 year old sister more than anything and I'm worried! She's sweet, funny, intelligent and has the kindest heart. She started kindergarden last week and all seemed fine, she loves school ...

A.   1 September 2010: It's only been a week; she'll be fine!I think having lunch with her sounds like a great idea; other kids will probably want to sit with you as well and this might help make it easier for her to start making friends. Maybe you can get her involved in ... (read in full...)

We had an affair, left our marriages, but now she is considering going back to her husband!

Q.   A bit of a long story but the background is important. I was a happily married man (so I thought) until I met somebody else last year. She was also happily married (her words). Anyway, we had an affair and tried to end it by walking away but we ...

A.   28 August 2010: Because you're the second man she has left her husband for I don't think things bode well for you. Sounds like your lady uses affairs as a way to deal with problems in her marriage and leaves him as a kind of 'wake-up call'. He's willing to take her ... (read in full...)

I hate my boyfriend, I'm lonely and sad..

Q.   I need a lot of help with something. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we have lived together for most of that time. 2 months into the relationship he started calling me curse names and yelling at me constantly. When he ...

A.   25 August 2010: The solution is really simple: if you hate him, leave him! Sweetie, you don't live in Afghanistan. You live in the U.S. and you don't have to put up with any man's abuse. Pack your shit and roll out!... (read in full...)

Does it sound like this married man wants to be with me, despite all the upset that has gone on?

Q.   I've been involved with a married man for over 2 years, he calls and txts me 3-4 times every day. I'm seperated from my husband due to abusive relationship. My estranged husband has confronted this married man multiple times and has also informed ...

A.   25 August 2010: He hasn't dumped you yet, but he hasn't dumped his wife either. The first time your husband confronted him, your married man had an opportunity to come clean and leave his wife but he didn't. Multiple confrontations later, he's still with his wife. ... (read in full...)

It bothers me that my friend changed her name when she got married

Q.   My friend at work got married in private three months ago, and took her husband's name. It was a couple of weeks before we (her friends) found out. It was all so sudden. We all had to get used to her having a completely different last name, but I...

A.   24 August 2010: I know you don't have a crush on me, but I plan to keep my maiden name if it makes you feel better!... (read in full...)

My baby's father left because of my mom!

Q.   I need some advice. I'm a 22 year old with a 4 month old son. I recently split up with the father of 3 years (we split up 5 times within those years) but we kept trying at our relationship because the only problem we had was my family didn't like ...

A.   23 August 2010: No, you don't let him walk out of your life. His excuse sounds like a cop-out. He's a father and you don't walk away from a relationship because of snide comments; he has a duty to provide a stable family for his son and shouldn't allow anything ... (read in full...)

Separated from wife, she wants to tell me about her sexual escapes and I don't want to hear about them!

Q.   My wife and I are separated and going to a therapist. I want to stay married but thought the best way to deal with the anguish my wife caused me (she cheated, among other things) was to move out. Since then, things have improved somewhat in some ...

A.   22 August 2010: If your wife is into kinky sex and asking for details, I don't think it will hurt her at all. You're obviously hurt by the details of her encounters and want her to be hurt by the thought of you with other women, but that's not the case. She's not ... (read in full...)

Short affair with my doctor has left me broken hearted

Q.   I am so heart broken. I have been seeing a plastic surgeon for over 12 years, a man that, from the moment I met I fell in love with. He is married and his children that are grown now. I have no children, however, I to am married. Our relat...

A.   22 August 2010: It was an affair; what did you think would eventually happen? This man didn't do anything to you life that you didn't allow him to do. You walked into this knowing that he was married and that you were not his first affair; he didn't pull the wool ... (read in full...)

My wife recently gave birth to twins but it's driving me crazy that all I can think of is this other woman!

Q.   Hi everyone I have a really big problem I just can't handle anymore. 5 years ago I got married to a woman, my first and only girlfriend I ever had. I really love her and always have. However about 3 years ago I met a woman I was wildly attra...

A.   22 August 2010: "It's not that I don't want to be with my wife it's just that I have deeper feelings for the woman that I had an affair with." It's easy to fall in love with--or think you're in love with--someone who does not require anything of you. Think ab... (read in full...)

Younger woman messing with my head!

Q.   Ok here is the deal. I am older than this lady, yet I don't feel that way at all on the inside (and people tell me that I look younger than I am, and when I work out alot, I can easily pass for someone in their 20s). Ok, well, we have been friends, ...

A.   21 August 2010: She's telling you as politely as possible that you're too old for her and she's not interested.... (read in full...)

I told my friend's girlfriend about us and now he won't speak to me!

Q.   I have a serious problem... Me and a guy from 10 years ago found each other on facebook.. We reconneted... talk, I ask him if he had a girlfriend he said "NO" talked all kinds of craped about his ex.. Well we went out and hung out all weekend, had ...

A.   21 August 2010: Why do you care if he never speaks to you again? He lied to you and cheated on her. He acts like this is all YOUR fault because he's a punk ass and would have continued playing both of you if the truth hadn't come out. Stop apologizing to him and ... (read in full...)

Husband's co worker is obsessed with him, is he cheating with her?

Q.   My husbands co worker (girl) has been telling me things such as they are planning a weekend together and sexually explicit details between him and her. But he denies that he has ever touched her and we have been dealing with face book remarks and ...

A.   21 August 2010: Your husband doesn't stand up to this woman because while she's lying about some things, she's not lying about everything. His passivity is suspicious and so many things are already not adding up. I know you're doing everything you can to get to the ... (read in full...)

Some tips for entertaining a married older man

Q.   I'm 18, and have been seeing a 42 year old man. He is married with kids. It all started when I spent the whole night working with him on his truck that broke down. He's a mechanic witch is what I would like to be when I'm finnished highschool. A...

A.   17 August 2010: Don't be naive: just because he's sneaking around with you doesn't mean things aren't good at home. A man like this will jump on an opportunity to screw a virginal 18 year old and not give a second thought to how you are feeling. He will string you ... (read in full...)

She can't be pregnant, right?

Q.   alright ppl, here is a story: had unprotected sex, but i am sure that i didnt cum inside, and went to the shower after. Long time ago the chick was pregnant but without her own will. what are the per cent to get her pregnant? if the girl g...

A.   16 August 2010: Dude, it's 2010 and you have internet access; use it to find out how babies are made and how to properly use a condom so you don't end up in this situation again.... (read in full...)

My married man doesn't want to go on holiday together now!

Q.   I have been together with a married man for over 4yrs.We have bad and good times.People have told his wife and always problems but then it sorts out.I love him very very very much.We were to go on holidays but people have again made problems for us ...

A.   16 August 2010: Nothing. He's already made up his mind and he would rather stay home with his wife than go on holiday with you. You're the other woman; what are you not understanding about this situation? You have no rights to a holiday or anything else with this ... (read in full...)

How I can show her I can change and that I can be a different and better person for her?

Q.   I'm admittedly a "recovering habitual cheater". Since I began dating I'm high school, I can not think of a single relationship I've had where I did not betray my partner's trust. About a year and a half ago, I fell in love with someone. ...

A.   16 August 2010: While this last incident of cheating may have changed you, it also changed her and how she feels about you. Only a woman with a low self-esteem would consider giving a two-timer a third shot. The best you can do apologize for treating her unkindly ... (read in full...)

Can I win back her heart before it is too late?

Q.   I've posted before about my divorce from my partner of 20 years. It involved an affair on my part that is now over. However, I'm having severe problems that I am trying to work through and could use some advice. I know how the Aunts feel about ...

A.   15 August 2010: Despite the lies, pain, and the loss of a 20 year relationship, your wife is in a good place right now: let her have this. You broke her heart and you now owe her the freedom to pursue her own joy and follow her own path, even if you are not part ... (read in full...)

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