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"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."

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Very devastated that my boyfriend looked at gay porn.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we live together. I love him and trust him. Though, I noticed our computer has been running slow. I did an antivirus run and I found a virus on the computer. I wondered where it came from. So, I ...

A.   19 October 2013: It could just be curiosity. It could be because he's gay. Or it could be a symptom of porn addiction. I'll try to explain how porn addiction could be the cause, in case that's what it is (bear in mind thats only one possible explanation): It's ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend can't come through intercourse!

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for about nine months and for the most part I couldn't be happier - he's kind, caring, trustworthy, funny and smart, and I think he's gorgeous. But there's something missing: vaginal Iintercourse is rare and brief. ...

A.   17 August 2013: There could be medical reasons, or psychological ones. It could also be because he's been desensitised due to a lot of masturbation, especially to porn. For considering the last possibility, this is some information about it: http:... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has retrograde jealousy and its getting worse!

Q.   Hello Everyone, I have spent the last week reading everything I could on this website relating to the subject of "Retroactive Jealousy" but I was not able to find much relating to my case (surprisingly, since there is a lot of information here...

A.   14 August 2013: "I cannot say this to her. It is as if I am telling her that shut up or I will throw you out. No, she left her life, her country, everything behind for me. I can not do/think/say that. As long as she wants me, I am hers. I refuse to be a ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has retrograde jealousy and its getting worse!

Q.   Hello Everyone, I have spent the last week reading everything I could on this website relating to the subject of "Retroactive Jealousy" but I was not able to find much relating to my case (surprisingly, since there is a lot of information here...

A.   13 August 2013: I think it's time for some tough love. She needs to understand that by continuing this way she will destroy your relationship. She needs to understand that she has to let go of her irrational beliefs (that you are 'her right' etc) and that only she ... (read in full...)

How do I clear my mind of the man who was with my girl before me?

Q.   I'm with a girl who I love, just before me she had a 4month fling with her work colleague, fair enough, but in the last 4 months we've been together she's thrown a few things in my face without thinking (videos of him and her friends messing around, ...

A.   1 August 2013: "It turns out its lube, I ask when she got it and she lied at first saying last week, then 2 minutes later she said sorry I lied, she had bought it with a vibrator, then after asking some angry questions turns out she used it with him". You r... (read in full...)

My partner is obsessed with affairs and with pretty young girls.

Q.   My partner seems obsessed about watching television programmes all about having affairs, or men getting one over on women. If it was just a couple of times a week it wouldn't be an issue, but its every night. Our SKY is full of recorded films al...

A.   1 July 2013: All men are not like this. Very few are, fortunately.... (read in full...)

I don't want to lose him, but either way I surely will once my B/f finds out about my wild, reckless past. What do I do now?

Q.   When I was at university, I was a little wild. I had quite a few one night stands and had a fling with another girl. I even had a few threesomes, and swapped my boyfriend with a another girl ,who knew what I was like and was open sexual too, for a ...

A.   23 June 2013: Unfortunately if he really loves you he's more likely to have a negative reaction. It would be because he loves you that he might find it hard to deal with. If he doesn't love you he won't care. But he does deserve to know, at least 'in general'... (read in full...)

Curious about my wife's sexual past

Q.   My wife and I have been together 9 years, and had the whole "how many people have you ******" conversation many years ago. Ever since then, I, like many husbands, still wonder "is that her real number, or is she holding some back?" The history she ...

A.   17 June 2013: This is a pandora's box. The more you dig, the worse it gets. There is no good information you can find out about this subject, only details that will haunt you. Thinking about this subject will only torture you, then make you jealous and insecure, ... (read in full...)

After years of pornography I have no desire to date

Q.   I was addicted to porn and masturbation for years. I decided to stop doing engaging my habits and I am happy that I have succeeded. The problem is that I have no interest in girls or relationships anymore. Before I was too afraid to try and date, ...

A.   11 June 2013: I suggest reading the website It deals with this in great detail including how to get past the issues that can occur after heavy long term porn use.... (read in full...)

Doesn't anyone date anymore?

Q.   I just became single again after 3 years relationship. Started going out and meeting lots of guys. We exchange phone numbers, then they call or text. Never with an invitation for a date. It's ussualy a little after we met: did you get home alright? ...

A.   11 June 2013: I guess this explains why girls have been so delighted when I asked them on a date. Sounds like guys that do will be very popular. Sad to hear that so many men are being uninterestingly sleazy, but I'm sure it's not all of us.... (read in full...)

Is it really that boring to play board games with girls?

Q.   Dear readers, I'm a little confused about the situation I encountered a few days ago. I really like to play games that require some deep thought, including both traditional card games (no gambling though) and more recent tarding card games. So w...

A.   2 June 2013: I play board games a lot, our group is an equal mix of men and women and everyone is equally into it and equally good at it. It's nonsense that women aren't into board games. In fact, when I tell women about playing board games they tend to be ... (read in full...)

Suspicious email to husband--he denies he's signed up. Can I believe him?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have a problem. I just got married. I h ave been with my man for a long time. I was looking through his emails and came acroos a email from XXXXbook [mod note: actual site name removed, it is not facebook]. I wouldve just deleted ...

A.   30 May 2013: Is is normal for you to be looking through his emails? Most couples would regard that as a breach of privacy and trust. Did you have a reason to e doing it?... (read in full...)

Why do guys pay flirty, promiscuous girls so much attention?

Q.   Do guys usually like the flirty and promiscuous type of girls? I need some advice because I hate to say I'm a little jealous of this girl I know who gets so much attention from my guy friends and just a lot of guys in general. She sleeps around wi...

A.   23 May 2013: "She sleeps around with them and is always flirting with all of them and gives out so much sexual attention to guys and obviously guys love that. She seems to just be perfect honestly." That's really not my idea of a perfect woman, or the idea of ... (read in full...)

How do you stop being jealous?

Q.   How do you stop being jealous???? I have never been that jealous of other woman when I have been with boyfriends but in my last relationship my ex boyfriend had a few close female friends and aqaintences and I was very jealous and can't work out why ...

A.   21 May 2013: I suggest reading this book: The Dangerous Passion, Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex, by David Buss. It's more a popular science book than a self-help book, but you'll understand why we experience the emotion and how it's trigger... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he has no desire for sex because of arguments we've had in the past

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years. In the beginning we were very sexual. Now, every time I get near him and touch him intimately, he jerks. He says he does not have the desire for sex. He has issues with finishing. I have my own issues, ...

A.   17 May 2013: It could be lots of things, he could be upset with you over something a long time ago and unable to let it go. This is just a hunch but one thing in could be is porn. Don't shoot me for saying this but the symptoms of having trouble finishin... (read in full...)

How do I get over my girlfriend's past?

Q.   My girlfriend (20) and I (19) go to the same college, and have been together for the past couple months. It's been, for the most part, an excellent relationship. We care for each other a great deal; heck, I think I'm in love with her. And, for the ...

A.   16 May 2013: Search for the term 'retroactive jealousy' on this site: you'll find many other people who have had the same problem and much advice on how to deal with it. If you have any other questions after reading that ask here again.... (read in full...)

Do you think I have any right to be angry? Or was I to blame for being naive?

Q.   Well I was dating a guy for a month. It was a LDR and on the third date, I had to spend the night at his, due to distance. The date did not go too well, we had a bit of a falliing out but made up. In the night, he said he would prepare the spare ro...

A.   16 May 2013: You could have insisted the spare bed was made up. You let it slide and got into bed with him. That was your choice. Don't blame him for it. The fact that you were arguing on your third date and you're really angry with him now suggests that he ... (read in full...)

For my porn-addicted boyfriend, will me not having sex with him make him distant or just horny?

Q.   hello, this might sound childish but i really need to make my boyfriendd want me more, i really need to tease him, but will me not having sex with him (we r sexual active) make him distant or just horny. see the thing is he watches porn and i hate ...

A.   15 May 2013: In my experience men (and perhaps boys) start wanting to avoid using porn when they realise it damages their sexual functioning. Men want to be good lovers, when they know porn makes them worse lovers they'll think about cutting down or quitting.... (read in full...)

Wife of many years slept with another man while we were dating and now dealing with it.....

Q.   Hey guys, hopefully you can help. My wife and I met in University and when on a date. I then went home for spring break and we spoke every night for hours on end. During these conversations we discussed how many people we had been with, past ...

A.   12 May 2013: "She said that it was a mistake but in the same breath she is telling me to get over it." She's right. Be glad she's said it was a mistake. She could say that it wasn't. But you do need to get over it. Otherwise it's just going to hang ... (read in full...)

Does the number of people you sleep with have any effect on you later in life?

Q.   I am just wondering if the number of people you sleep with has any psychological or emotional effect on you later. I am not talking 3 or 4 partners. I mean, like, say 50 partners. My best bud is dating seriously a girl who has slept around qui...

A.   6 May 2013: " But I wonder if someone like can become a suitable marriage partner?" Yes someone like that can be a very suitable marriage partner. And a person with three previous partners can make a very unsuitable marriage partner. It depends on the p... (read in full...)

Has anyone with PCOS succeeded in getting pregnant?

Q.   I have PCOS and thanks to that I never get a period. Me and my boyfriend want a baby. I started metformin a month ago and have been taking 2000mg for 2 weeks now. Has anyone succeeded in conceiving? I really really want a baby now. Any...

A.   30 April 2013: I know several women with PCOS who got pregnant without too much trouble when using medication.... (read in full...)

I just want to be friends! Guys how do I turn you off FOREVER!; without gaining 100lb, sacrificing looks, nor getting really hairy?

Q.   I'm studying computer engineering so it's ALL GUYS and I'm not a hermit or anything, so I try to make friends. And I LIKE having friends I can talk to about nerdy things like Linux and UNIX, I mean, most other people don't get it. But the guys A...

A.   13 April 2013: Wear a t-shirt that says: Error 403 - Access denied. Other than that there's nothing you can do about it other than make it very clear it's not going to happen. Or you could get a boyfriend and then mention him frequently. I won't comment on... (read in full...)

Does Giving up porn give you ED

Q.   My boyfriend's sex drive has decreased. It's been at over a month since we've had good sex. The rest of the time he looses his erection, or doesn't get one. It's been quite frustrating for me, and I've told him that it makes me feel like something ...

A.   12 April 2013: Yes it frequently does. It's called 'flatlining' and happens to the majority of men who were heavy users of porn and then quit. It can last anything from a few days to six months or more depending on the severity of their porn use, age (younger guys ... (read in full...)

Will I be labeled as a liar? I didn't tell the truth about how many sexual partners I have had

Q.   Hello, I'm writing because I'm in a bit of a situation. I was in a relationship for 7 years from the age of 15 and completely adored the guy. On reflection, he was rather manipulative, unsupprotive and didn't really care about me. This was a...

A.   10 April 2013: He'll be more worried that you actually slept with 20 or 200 guys before him than with 2. Two is a very low number, and the circumstances as you describe them make total sense. I don't think you have anything to fear from telling him the truth.... (read in full...)

Before I grew up I did wild stuff; he wants a threesome

Q.   So I was telling my boyfriend of 7 months about my semi-wild past. I've had one night stands and threesoms before, even hooked up with a hand full of girls. Those days are gone, I've grown up and gained self respect for myself. He, on the other ...

A.   6 April 2013: The problem is he may not be able to look at you the same again. Having told him about your wild past he's not going to forget it, nor is he going to feel good about it. Having said that you're doing the right thing: giving in to his requests... (read in full...)

I have issues with my girlfriend's past

Q.   Ladies, Kindly please help. I am a Virgin, She had 2 past relations. Just recently, my girlfriend told me about her past two relations: 1) She never planned to marry them nor was serious with them. It was just for fun. 2) Initially, she had tho...

A.   2 April 2013: Her story is very normal for a woman. There's nothing in your story that should make you doubt she'd make a good long term partner. Since this is making you sick: if you want to stay with her then you need to find a way to stop thinking about he... (read in full...)

I am a virgin, girlfriend is not. I am afraid I can't measure up.

Q.   I just met this girl 4 months ago and things couldn't have been better. We hit everything off perfectly. But I'll get directly to the issue. Eventually I brought up topic of previous sexual history and I asked to be honest. I'm 21 years old, only ...

A.   29 March 2013: "Part of me wants to just forget it and just have fun with her but at the same time I can't help but think that I won't compare because of how vitally important experience and penis size is to women." You're not going to get over that by staying ... (read in full...)

Dealing with my wife's past...need help

Q.   I’ve been married for 6 months now and I have been with my wife for 1 ½ years. We are both Christians, but we met while we were in our previous marriages. I found out early in the relationship that she had an affair about 9 years earlier with a ...

A.   29 March 2013: "I picture her spreading her legs for him, her on top of him riding him, and him behind her, and her making noises. I imagine her loving being screwed by him." Read that again. There is your primary problem. By picturing her like this and imaginin... (read in full...)

My husband jacks off with other men!

Q.   My husband jacks off with other men I just found out he has been doing this for years. I'm shocked to find this out. Even more shocking, are all the sites where married men communicate and set up times to jack off together. He says he will sto...

A.   26 March 2013: No idea if it is gay or not. But there are men who do this that believe they are not gay. Here's some examples of how men describe it: I would certainly interpret this a... (read in full...)

Is it reasonable for me to tell my wife to stop kissing other men on the lips?

Q.   I really do not like it when other men kiss my wife on the lips. These are friends - just 2 or so. They do it as a greeting, when, for example, we first meet up for the night, and then again when we say good bye. I am fairly certain it has nothing ...

A.   24 March 2013: I'm European and I can assure you that's not the 'European way'. We will kiss each other on the cheek sometimes, and lightly at that. I wouldn't be ok with it. I don't see why you should either. ... (read in full...)

Why am I still hurting from getting fingered a week later

Q.   I am 16 yr old sophomore and my senior boyfriend who is 18. We really hadn't done anything else but make out. Until this year, last week was spring break and we went to the beach and we had talked about doing more than kissing but I ha no idea it ...

A.   22 March 2013: It sounds like you are being very passive and just 'letting things happen'. Sex is a partnership between two people: if you just lay there and wait to find out what he's going to do you're going to end up with more pain and feeling dissatisfied at ... (read in full...)

My husband looks at she-male porn. Do straight men do this?

Q.   My husband looks at shemale porn, but says he is not gay. The shemale's are cleary men with breast.what do you think? Are there any straight men that like to look at shemale porn? ...

A.   17 March 2013: Yes some straight men do look at shemale (or gay) porn. Over time heavy porn users can get desensitised to the porn they look at, so they escalate, looking at more and more extreme porn. At some point straight porn is no longer 'enough' somehow,... (read in full...)

Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?

Q.   I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...

A.   17 March 2013: He could be using a lot of porn. Have you asked him?... (read in full...)

Do I tell my girlfriend about my past?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and it has been going great. I work in a different state but travel often to see her and will be seeing her in a month. In one of our recent conversations a topic i am not comfortable with ...

A.   15 March 2013: In a sense you can't tell her the truth because you don't know how many. So it's about how you describe your past. She's asking so she wants to know. You shouldn't lie, so you need to either say 'i don't believe in sharing that information... (read in full...)

Should I sue my US wife for defamation from Pakistan?

Q.   8 Months ago, I got married to a US citizen in Pakistan. While Spouse visa petition was in final stage. We picked up a fight and now she wants divorce. If she doesn't come to Pakistan and I don't go to US, me and my family will face embarrassing ...

A.   15 March 2013: "I know it's a legal matter in some way but I can't afford attorney as they don't give you advice without being paid. "I want to sue her in the US court not in Pakistan." You'll need money to sue her in a US court. You'll need plenty since you... (read in full...)

Husband watches man to man porn. Is he still solely hetrosexual? Or is he more likely gay?

Q.   I am married. In the every first year of our marriage I discovered a CD hidden by my husband. But on that porn were relations between men to men. I was so innocent about it. I talked to my husband and he asked, with tearful eyes, forgiveness ...

A.   14 March 2013: It's quite common for men who have watched porn a long time and got addicted to escalate to porn that does not match their sexual orientation (eg gay or transexual porn). Here is some detailed information about this: http://w... (read in full...)

Should I sue my US wife for defamation from Pakistan?

Q.   8 Months ago, I got married to a US citizen in Pakistan. While Spouse visa petition was in final stage. We picked up a fight and now she wants divorce. If she doesn't come to Pakistan and I don't go to US, me and my family will face embarrassing ...

A.   14 March 2013: The problem you have is that a Pakistani court might understand your embarrassment, but has no jurisdiction in the USA. Meaning that if you sue her in Pakistan that result carries no weight in America. Meanwhile an American court will not accept y... (read in full...)

Any home remedies for my skin irritation?

Q.   Hi this is not relationship related,but I would love to here agony aunts remedy to my skin problem My skin has been very irritated lately,its become really dry and I have these red boils.and none of these market beaUty products help,my skin reacts b...

A.   5 March 2013: I recommend trying Dream Cream by Lush cosmetics. It's as handmade and almost entirely natural ingredients, and is great for sensitive irritated skin. ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   5 March 2013: Tisha that presentation is by Gary Wilson, the creator of the website, which is by far the best single resource on the effect of porn that I've found. Life-changing for plenty of men who read it since they then try and quit ... (read in full...)

Men: Would you date a woman who won't give oral sex?

Q.   I do not like giving blow jobs at all. I could live my life quite happily never having to do it again because for me its not really a pleasant thing even if my partner enjoys it. I'd rather him miss out than endure my gag reflex telling me how ...

A.   4 March 2013: I'd mind yes. But you can do it without your gag reflex kicking in. There's many ways to make it enjoyable without having to put it more than just a little bit in your mouth. It's not porn either' as others have said. It just feels very good.... (read in full...)

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