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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 28 March 2016: An Easter basket to me is something an adult gives to a child, so to me its not romantic. I expect it would be seen more as a paternal gesture.
Of course if the basket had things like lingerie and jewelry that would indicate a different inte... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 22 March 2016: Ah well, at least you know you let her know that she was important to your creative process!
LIfe is so annoying.... it doesn’t follow the plans you’ve laid down for yourself. It’s quite saucy at ignoring your most heartfelt wishes and it’s down... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 20 March 2016: It sounds like a really awful relationship that was based on mutual misunderstandings and failed expectations.
He wanted you to do X Y and Z. You wanted him to accept A B and C.
Nothing about this was going to end well.
What do you hope to get ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 17 March 2016: Male anon, it’s unreasonable of her boyfriend to carry on about this after one year of dating. Either accept it or move on. Continuing to bully her and argue about it is NOT reasonable. So yeah, she kissed another boy faster than she kissed him. So? ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 17 March 2016: I think that text sounds fine. Obviously you know her well enough to have her phone number. Good luck with everything!
... (read in full...)
He never initiates! Is he into me?
Q. I've been dating a great guy for two months. He texts me every day and is very sweet. We have gone out on some dates but usually only on weekends. I mentioned wanting to spend a bit more time with him more than once a week and he thought that was ...
A. 17 March 2016: Why not give it another couple of months and see how things develop? One of the things that an oldie but goodie dating book (A Fine Romance by Judith Sills PhD) taught me was not to take things personally. My suggestion would be to read that book ... (read in full...)
How do we win her mother round?
Q. my girlfriend and I have gotten together recently, but we've had feelings for each other for a while. we're 16, and it's her first relationship, but we're both certain we have real feelings. my parents couldn't be more happy for us, and really like ...
A. 16 March 2016: Her mother might just need some time to adjust. Even parents of heterosexual teenagers find it hard to accept that their precious offspring are now considered ‘of age’ and able to enter into relationships.....
There are some resources out there for ... (read in full...)
Should he already know that he should be contributing or is he taking me for a ride (using me)?
Q. My boyfriend hasn't got much money but he got a full time job a few months ago. He had been waiting to be paid but the company was waiting for all the paperwork to go through first so when he eventually got paid it would be in a lump sum (back dated ...
A. 16 March 2016: Have you talked with him about this?
Or said, “I’m cooking tonight but only have enough for myself as it’s leftovers.”
“I can’t afford to pay for your meals and mine every time. I’m happy to pay my share but can’t always pay for you.
“If you w... (read in full...)
He never initiates! Is he into me?
Q. I've been dating a great guy for two months. He texts me every day and is very sweet. We have gone out on some dates but usually only on weekends. I mentioned wanting to spend a bit more time with him more than once a week and he thought that was ...
A. 16 March 2016: If you want a guy who initiates dates and plans then this one might not be the one for you. You do say he’s sweet and use the words “great guy” to describe him, so there’s something about him that appeals to you.
I’m a little surprised that he’s... (read in full...)
I want to ask him to hangout platonically without pressure of being a date. How do I go about it?
Q. There's this guy at my work who just got hired 3 months ago. Initially, We hardly talked to each other and I was indifferent towards him. This all changed few weeks later when I ran into him in stairway-the first thing he asked was if I go to the ...
A. 16 March 2016: “I’m so ready for a cup of coffee/tea/a drink/snack after work before the gym. I’m going to head to XYZ coffee/tea/bar/cafe at about Q o’clock before I head to the gym at Nth street. If you are going too, I’ll look for you!
“Here’s my number if you ... (read in full...)
Can I do anything to help? My dad is in a very controlling relationship. And I don't know what to do.
Q. He's been with her for 15 years. I was 20 when they met, so I was off in college and on my own after that doing my own thing so I never had much interaction with them except when I'd come to visit periodically on short visits. Like for a weekend a ...
A. 16 March 2016: I’d continue doing your own thing. Sorry you’ve hit a personal rough patch but obviously he feels his obligation is to her. You don’t sound like you’ve been very close to him all these years, perhaps mutual choice, perhaps because you don’t anything ... (read in full...)
Does Online Dating work for men?
Q. So I have been trying to make sense of this... Does online dating really work for men? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent ...
A. 16 March 2016: What I got out of the blog post was that the profile picture does matter. Go get some professional candid portraits done by a quality photographer to enhance chances of getting to stage 2 in online dating. You’re basically interviewing for a job and ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend's ex just will not let go. Shall I attend the wedding we're both invited to, or stay away?
Q. My boyfriend is taking me to a wedding and his ex, who is Very much clearly still in love with him, will be there. Should I go to this wedding? I don't want to end up causing a scene. FYI, my boyfriend has told her to move on and that they won...
A. 15 March 2016: If you are unable to control yourself, and know that you will cause a scene, well, I’d say, definitely stay home.
Now, that would mean that she “wins” and your absence will allow her to suggest that you are so out of control of your emotions and ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to offer something from my Mom’s estate to my brother’s ex-wife?
Q. Help someone, Thanks you to all who help here. My mom died.three years ago.My sister and I went.through boxes of things that belonged to mom....I have some China which will help me to remember my mom. My brother and his wife split a decade ago....
A. 15 March 2016: Having just gone through clearing out my parents’ house not that long ago, I’ve learned sadly that young people just don’t want old china.
It would have been very helpful had they done a bit more work specifying who got what, but I guess very old ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: I think it might depend on the music too. If, for instance, in a hypothetical situation, there was a great deal of sexual imagery, well, that might be a problem if she feels uncomfortable with being identified with that song. Or if it were about ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: It seems you are working out the upsides and the downsides! Just check the employee handbook to be sure you aren’t crossing any lines or opening yourself up for harassment accusations if you’ve misread the situation.
Good luck!
Oh, and back in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 15 March 2016: He’s annoyed somewhat, or he’s having uncontrollable images playing in his head? Those are two different ends of a spectrum.
So you met him online, chatted for a while, then decided to meet in person.
I think these are your key points about hi... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: Well, there doesn’t seem to be any impediment to telling her she’s been a muse of sorts to you, other than a bit of ego, or your fear of freaking her out. It will be up to you to weigh the pros and cons of telling her. Does the need to let her you ... (read in full...)
He has a new girlfriend, so what does he want from me?
Q. Hello everyone. A little back story, my boyfriend and I have been broken up for about 4 months now. The break up was a lot harder on me than him because he is the one who broke up with me, and told me he didn't feel the same about me anymore. It was ...
A. 14 March 2016: My thought on this “He told me he loves his new girlfriend, but that he will always love me because I was the first girl who treated him good and the first girlfriend who he truly loved.” is to say, well, that’s nice, happy to hear he’ll have fond ... (read in full...)
If I date or have someone else should I tell my ex who is in jail? He wants to know everything!
Q. So my ex is currently in jail has been in there for a year already and looking at 3 to 4 years the most but could be out by the end of this year if his bond gets lowered .. He has been calling me everyday from the jail phone and we been talking ...
A. 14 March 2016: This ex? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/-how-do-i-determine-if-this-guy.html You mention knowing that ex since middle school there but didn’t mention he was in jail. Was he keeping that from you until just now?
Is he keeps making plans then vani... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 14 March 2016: I don’t think you are crazy for wanting to do this.
As for how to tell her this without freaking her out, well, we don’t know anything about her beyond that you are older than she is; or, not to be ageist, you might be younger than she is. Is she ... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 14 March 2016: You and he were not compatible. He obviously has his set of expectations of how a girlfriend is supposed to comport herself and act around him and others and and you obviously have your set of expectations of how a boyfriend is supposed to comport ... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 14 March 2016: Is this the ex again, Stephanie?... (read in full...)
After cheating on me 3 weeks ago, why is my Bf not doing everything to regain my trust?
Q. My boyfriend has cheated on me recently(three weeks ago). I ask him to delete the woman on social media, block her number etc. He did. However, she still pops up in different messengers and such. when i ask to for the passwords to his accounts he ...
A. 14 March 2016: Because he intends to continue to be in contact with her.
A friend of mine is in the midst of a divorce because her husband of over 20 years did the same thing. He didn’t want to deal with the password thing and being transparent because he want... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 14 March 2016: There’s a difference between being a bit sad that you weren’t your girlfriend’s first kiss (at age 18, though? Really?) and having uninterrupted obsessive thoughts or images run through your mind, interrupt your sleeping patterns.
How old is this... (read in full...)
Why ask? What does it mean when a guy asks me 'what does love mean for you? How to reply to that?
Q. What does it mean when a guy asks me 'what does love mean for you?'. He asked me was in the middle of our conversation, and i was pretty much surprised and thought, why would he ask me about a thing like this?...
A. 13 March 2016: If you were talking about bicycle maintenance, and out of the blue, he asked the question “what does love mean for you?”... well, then he’s got something besides bicycles on his mind.
If you were talking about playing tennis, and he was a novi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 11 March 2016: Get out now. While you can.
Your LDR boyfriend has a retroactive jealousy issue. You’ve kissed 4 men and he is creating images in his mind...
You won’t be able to fix this for him; nothing you can say will change this.
He’s not being reasonable. ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong because I don't want my jobless boyfriend moving in with me and depending on me to get him a job?
Q. My LDR BF said he wants to move in with me and asked me to find him a job at the company where I work. He has been working as a part time delivery boy for a local restaurant for about a year after I've known him. Then he hurt his toe and said he ...
A. 11 March 2016: Nope! He’s going to have to find his own personal daycare center if his family are fed up enough to ask him to move to a city away from them.
So, what exactly do you see in this guy?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was rude to my old friend, was he unreasonable?
Q. It was my birthday a few months ago and I had invited my sister, her boyfriend, my cousins and some close friends including my school friend from secondary school to celebrate it with me in a restaurant. Hes a guy and I haven't seen him in years. ...
A. 11 March 2016: This is the ex-boyfriend you’re asking about? Or a new boyfriend?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/was-my-ex-right-for-gettigng-upset-with.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-used-to-tell-him-that-we-should.html
http://ww... (read in full...)
She said she didn't want to hang out any more and I'm scared! A part of me wants to make some gestures so she knows how much I care!
Q. So I'll start first by stating that some of my friends and even adults while growing up have asked me again and again if i had ASD (Asperger's Syndrome Disorder) though i never saw any professionals growing up (they say it shows vividly in my ...
A. 10 March 2016: Hi, I thought of this question when I found a link after reading a book called “The Rosie Project.” It’s in the Kindle edition.p /
It’s called the Aspie Quiz, takes about 20 minutes and can be taken anonymously: http... (read in full...)
Could this be called psychological abuse?
Q. Hello. Advice would be really welcome here. In a long distance relationship of over a year. Good times and bad. Currently we had a heated discussion last week which we did not share a view on, and he did what he has done before and totally ignor...
A. 9 March 2016: If you are in an LDR and it’s “good times and bad” in a year? Time to cut him loose. An LDR of a year could and should be the biggest longest honeymoon period ever. You only ever see each other when you are ready, you have plenty of time apart to ... (read in full...)
It's over. Is going no contact the best way forward?
Q. My boyfriend yelled at me. In his words, not yell but was speaking curtly. He used expletives and went on about how he wants nothing to do with me. I am a little unnerved and shocked. Right now, I don't want to have any contact with him. I am tr...
A. 9 March 2016: If you don’t want a future with him, then let him fulfill his most earnest wish, as he put it, that he wants nothing to do with you.
If you share a home or some other expenses then you will need to see a solicitor to make sure your legal rights are ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else's husband said to his wife that she will be a burden on a business trip?
Q. My husband goes on some business trips during the year, but usually in the state we live in. Sometimes, I am able to go with him and he has been okay with that and he enjoys me going along. He will be going on a new business trip on the coa...
A. 9 March 2016: Mine has told me outright that it would be a major inconvenience to have me on certain trips. I’m okay with that because he needs to focus on work, and not on worrying about me. And yes, you might be the most independent woman in the entire world ... (read in full...)
Do people still fall in love these days or is that an outdated concept?
Q. What is everyone's opinion on this? Since I'm back in the dating world, I have to say that it's a real cesspool out there. Everyone seems a bit jaded, and women put up these walls and hurdles that you have to jump through in order crack thei...
A. 9 March 2016: Oprah’s talk show has been off network television for 5 years now. Just FYI.
Obviously you have a certain standard in a romantic partner. Now that you’ve gathered data on the various apps and dating sites, you can eliminate those that present less... (read in full...)
I’m troubled by my boyfriend’s sexual past! Please help.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid community, I've been dating a wonderful guy for about 9 months. But for nearly 6 months, I've been struggling to get over his sexual past. We briefly discussed our sexual pasts in the beginning of the relationship and I mentioned that ...
A. 9 March 2016: Hi rainbowsun, I think if you’ve been struggling to “accept” his past for most of the time you’ve been dating, and you are in your early 30s, then it’s really unlikely that you’ll find a way to a long term relationship with this particular man.
I... (read in full...)
How do I approach my GF weight issue?
Q. In the 3 years we have been together my GF has been slowly letting herself go physically to the point where I no longer find her attractive. When we met in college, she was more physically active on a daily basis but now she has an office job wher...
A. 9 March 2016: I think I’d let her go, gently and quickly. Here’s why.
You’re not attracted to her any more and can’t find a way to assist her in the weight loss department. You’re concerned for her health and wellbeing. And of course you don’t find her sexy any ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend showed up with scratch marks after the weekend. Is this enough evidence to leave him?
Q. Please help. It will be 3 years in June I have been with my boyfriend. Yesterday I noticed a few horizontal scratch marks above his stomach. They were not there on Friday when I last saw him but they were there the following Monday. I did not...
A. 8 March 2016: And just to add, he’s not ever going to be able to make you feel safe, because he’s married to someone else. That’s not his job.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend showed up with scratch marks after the weekend. Is this enough evidence to leave him?
Q. Please help. It will be 3 years in June I have been with my boyfriend. Yesterday I noticed a few horizontal scratch marks above his stomach. They were not there on Friday when I last saw him but they were there the following Monday. I did not...
A. 8 March 2016: Hi OP, I remember you, I’m sure you remember some of my previous posts on your questions.
I guess he didn’t move in with you, as you’d reported in a previous post? He’s still living with his wife, I think.
Sigh.
You seem to rely a great deal o... (read in full...)
Do people still fall in love these days or is that an outdated concept?
Q. What is everyone's opinion on this? Since I'm back in the dating world, I have to say that it's a real cesspool out there. Everyone seems a bit jaded, and women put up these walls and hurdles that you have to jump through in order crack thei...
A. 7 March 2016: Are you looking for a long term girlfriend who could be your next wife (assuming you just ended a marriage)? How are you meeting women now? Through friends? Free dating apps? Paid membership based matchmaking services online? You're obvious... (read in full...)
Would you ever be friends with an ex bf/gf who 'broke your heart' ?
Q. Would you ever be friends with an ex bf/gf who 'broke your heart' ? I was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy who I was really in love with and saw myself marrying one day. We talked about marriage and kids in the future, it was a pretty ser...
A. 6 March 2016: "I'm fine. Moved on. Suggest you do same." Optional add-on: "Will decide on my own terms and in my own time what, if any, contact I'll have with you. So at this point, suggest you get on with your own life and leave me alone to do the same."
Then ... (read in full...)
Is making me go home after our third date a red flag?
Q. Ladies,reconnected with a old girlfriend from four years ago, three dates, second date, amazing sex, but she wouldn't let me stay the night,third date great time out dancing, went to her condo, brought Chinese, watched a good movie,one thirty,had ...
A. 6 March 2016: First of all, one red flag is that neither of you agree on the reason for the breakup: "four years ago, she says ,I broke her heart,I think she broke up with me" If you can't remember and she can't remember, how do you know you have moved past ... (read in full...)
Is this guy into me? Flirting when a simple email would do?
Q. So this guy, seem to get my attention and make small conversation with me any given opportunity he can. Example, at the end of a lecture he pull me to the side to ask a tiny question and make conversation. He has done this on several occasions, and ...
A. 4 March 2016: Is this guy your teacher, by any chance? And I'm sorry to hear that your LDR didn't work out, you must be sad over the end of the relationship. Perhaps this crush thing is part of a rebound?... (read in full...)
My sister has sucked all the blood out of me and I don't know what to do!
Q. Dear all, I know this is not a love related question so maybe not relevant to most readers but I have serious family issues! My sister is sucking the blood out of me. All she ever did was ask, ask, ask. When she was a student, she did not want...
A. 4 March 2016: I agree with the Citizen's Advice suggestion.
Another one is from the NHS website: If you want to talk to someone right away, the mental health helpline page has a list of organisations you can call for immediate assistance. These are helplines with... (read in full...)
People think I'm a lesbian!
Q. I'm straight and i am attracted to men, although everyone think that I'm a lesbian. I'm really stylish, and my style is a bit different and odd, i do wear makeup and my hair is very short . I enjoy whatever guys do enjoy, basically im a tomboy. Most ...
A. 4 March 2016: Well, I think an excellent approach to answering your question of "is it my looks or my personality" is to ask those people who admitted they thought you were a lesbian the question.
"Hey, when you first met me, you thought I was a lesbian. I've... (read in full...)
Why why do girls dump guys who treat a girl like an angel?
Q. I wonder why ladies, I never hear a woman, talk about them dumping a nice guy, on here. I here all the time,How they get hurt, by the guy who treated them bad. It does happen all the time, a guy treats a woman fantastic. Then a woman, breaks t...
A. 4 March 2016: It is rather interesting that often the men who self-identify as "nice" seem to struggle so much with grasping the nuances of women's selection criteria. I think it's the Goldilocks problem. You know: this bed is too hard, this bed is too soft, this ... (read in full...)
She said she didn't want to hang out any more and I'm scared! A part of me wants to make some gestures so she knows how much I care!
Q. So I'll start first by stating that some of my friends and even adults while growing up have asked me again and again if i had ASD (Asperger's Syndrome Disorder) though i never saw any professionals growing up (they say it shows vividly in my ...
A. 22 February 2016: You've known her a little over a month. You are moving way too fast.
You may need the comfort of knowing exactly where you stand but that's your issue, not hers.
Have a look at this website that offers a 'test' that might alert you to Asperger... (read in full...)
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