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*andman

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a 30-something male who likes to have fun and talk about all things interesting.

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Why do I break condoms?

Q.   Why is it that I break condoms regularly. It happens about 20% of the time which is very often considering I'm very sexually active. It's very concerning to me as usual hookups that are supposed to be pleasurable end up in paranoia and fear of ...

A.   24 September 2013: It's possible that during the opening of the package, you may be tearing the condom during the process. Remember to be more careful when opening the package. Long, jagged fingernails can certainly be a culprit (it was for me). Make sure you... (read in full...)

He is having sex with a few different girls and I'm not sure what he wants. Or if I even want him. What do you think I should do?

Q.   I have been knowing this guy for 3 weeks we were texting before we actually went on a date and before that he told me that he doesn't want a gf. So we went on a date and everything went well obviously I'm different from other girls for him plus he ...

A.   14 September 2012: Listen, he's enjoying having as many women as he can. Listen to Daniel, he's not serious with ANY of your girls. The most, and I mean this with respect, any of are doing are giving him orgasms, that's it. If you're looking for a relation... (read in full...)

Men only: How should I act with this guy. I want a casual sexual relationship

Q.   Hi all, I need some advice from men who will know or should know the answer! Basically, I'm not the best at relationships, I don't know how to act and I manage to ruin things in the early stages. Basically, two Fridays ago I went out clubb...

A.   12 June 2012: I remember sitting in a friends room watching television, just hanging out. A commercial for a movie or tv show or something came on in which the premise was two of the characters had a FWB relationship (this was back in 1995). The commercial went ... (read in full...)

I've never had an orgasm with my boyfriend and I cant keep faking it forever!

Q.   Hey there ladies and gents. I am completely in love with my boyfriend. I'm 18, he's now 20. We've been dating for almost 2 years now. Physically he is very handsome, tall, and somewhat fit. Emotionally he is super sweet, a little sarcastic, loving, ...

A.   11 June 2012: Continuing to fake it won't get you anywhere. You need to learn what you like first before explaining to your partner how best to please you. I'm sure (or hope) there are some things he does that feels really good. Tell him that. But also, te... (read in full...)

Should I slow down my FWB relationship?

Q.   Okay... I manage to get myself into a tough situation here. About 7 months ago I began seeing this guy and it turn into a friends with benefits relationship, mainly because we had both just gotten out of relationships and neither one of us wanted ...

A.   6 June 2012: It could work. But this is also why I advise people against the whole FWB thing. In more cases than not, one or both of the parties start having feelings and if the opposing partner doesn't share those feelings then it can be hurtful.   But i... (read in full...)

Was I wrong for letting my 17 year old daughter sleep in the same bed as her male best friend?

Q.   I let my daughter's male best friend sleep in her bed with her - am I a bad mother? My daughter and her best friend are 17 and I completely trust my daughter's trust in him. I know she wouldn't do anything because she's too insecure for anything ...

A.   6 June 2012: Thinking something didn't or won't happen versus KNOWING something didn't or won't happen are two very different happenings.   It doesn't make you a bad mother, but I do question your judgement. Young adults like your daughter and her male best fri... (read in full...)

What STDS can you get from culliningus?

Q.   What STD's can a guy get from giving oral sex to a girl? 3 girls, unprotected and then unprotected sex with me. How likely is HIV? One girl was sexually active, the other two, (here's the kicker), he doesn't know... ...

A.   6 June 2012: To answer your question, there many STD's a person can contract from oral sex; Herpes, Syphillis, Hep B and A, and Gonorrhea.   These infections can invade the givers mouth and throat and can therefore be transmitted to the new receiving partner.... (read in full...)

Can't get my bf to cum when I give him Oral

Q.   i need help! i recently gave my boyfriend oral for the first time and i couldn't get him to cum! i asked him what i could do and he just said don't worry its not your fault. and i said well why couldnt i? what was different? and he just said it ...

A.   6 June 2012: This is a good question and I'll try to help you. First, it is important to know that some men have difficulty reaching orgasm from oral sex. It's nothing that the woman is or isn't doing, it's just how that particular guy "works". For those gu... (read in full...)

Why do I always get sick after sex?

Q.   I fall sick everytime immediatly after sex.what is the cause please.can anyone be of help...

A.   3 June 2012: You haven't given us much information to help you with! When you say sick, what exactly do you mean? Headaches, stomach aches, back aches, etc. WHAT? Also, does it happen after you masturbate? But even IF you told us here, I'm not sure we ... (read in full...)

How common is female ejaculation?

Q.   Really interested in how common it is for women to ejaculate? I have never been a 'squirter' and I know guys definitely love it from posts I have seen online. Starting to feel now that I have a problem. I don't always orgasm with a guy either, ha...

A.   3 June 2012: You have a lot of questions in this post - I'll try to be as helpful as I can. How common is female ejaculation? Short answer: I don't know - but I don't think it's very common. Yes, some men like to be with women who ejaculate because it's a h... (read in full...)

Would a FWB work for me? I only miss the physical part of a relationship

Q.   Right everyone seems to think I'm scared of being alone because I've had two serious relationships by the time in 17, but the thing is I love being single But when I am single I miss having someone to hug kiss and have sex with so do you think if ...

A.   3 June 2012: To answer your question - simply wanting a FWB doesn't make a you "bad" person. There is nothing wrong with having a strong sexual desire and seeking to obtain sexual partners. However, FWB isn't as glamorous as TV or the movies may depict. ... (read in full...)

After hooking up with my ex, now FWB he doesn't respond back!

Q.   I know this is going to sound petty but I'm pretty upset so it means alot to me :) My ex and I ( dated 6 mos) recently ended things but care fir each other and decided to stay friends. Well, then we realized seeing each other would lead to mo...

A.   1 June 2012: Move on. The relationship is over. Find a man that wants to be with you. I understand you care for him but unless you guys are willing to start dating again, you should refrain from having sex with him. By staying his FWB, you can potentially ... (read in full...)

Can I get a STD infection from having sex with 3 clean guys?

Q.   I had sex with three guys unprotected the past 3 days drunk. I know they're all clean since I know all of them. My question is even though they're clean, can I contract a std from bodily fluid with 3 different guys in a short period of time. or some ...

A.   1 June 2012: The answer to your question, no. You cannot contract an STD from anyone who does not have one if you have unprotected sex with them. But unfortunately, you don't know for sure if these men do or do not have STD's - you only "know" them, not their ... (read in full...)

My family feel that if my 27 year old boyfriend is having sex with me, then he should pay for ALL my expenses! And the poor guy does enough already!

Q.   Ive been dating my boyfriend almost a year, im 19, he's 27 he also lives 3 hours away but visits every weekend. He pays for 99% of everything when we're together the hotels, dinner, movies, concerts etc. I havent worked in about 5 months i cant ...

A.   1 June 2012: I understand your concerns and they are valid. However, I think the point your mother is trying to make is that your boyfriend, if he truly cares about you, would do more for you other than the things he does when he comes to town. Knowi... (read in full...)

My wife says I'm a worthless man because I cheated. She cheated first!

Q.   My wife keeps calling me a worthless man. I work two jobs to support three kids plus my wife and I feel she is being ungrateful. My wife cheated and I cheated after to get revenge, she has been calling me this ever since. She also says I have don't ...

A.   1 June 2012: It sounds like some marital counseling is in order for you two. She cheated on you, so to get revenge you cheated on her. It all sounds (please excuse my directness) a bit immature. There seem to be some issues the two of you need to work out in o... (read in full...)

I recently lost my virginity, when will sex stop hurting?

Q.   hi i just lost my virginty a few days ago , but it pained alot ,and couldnt even let him enter me fully . i am soo confused is this normal? how long does it take for me not to feel any pain ? and when will i get something out of it ,and i never bl...

A.   31 May 2012: Yes this is normal. How long does it take to not feel ANY pain? That depends on many things. Those things being; do you (or did you) have an hymen? What type of hymen did you have (which will determine how much tearing needs to occur)? Did he ... (read in full...)

Do some women like rough sex?

Q.   Few days back I was watching a adult movie with my wife. There was a rape scene. After the movie my wife wanted to rewind and see the scene again and she saw that again. How come a Rape which is supposed to be a disgusting act can be stimulating. Ok ...

A.   31 May 2012: The simple answer: yes. There are plenty of women who find rough sex very stimulating. There are also plenty of women who find it repulsive and disgusting. There's no telling why someone, in this case your wife, would like something like thi... (read in full...)

What is the "deep-stick" position?

Q.   I met a girl on an dating club and her profile states that she loves the deepstick position and I don't have an idea of how this position looks like or how it works and I don't want to ask her. I need to know before we get to it. ...

A.   31 May 2012: CindyCares is exactly right. In the future though, you can do a quick search on the Internet. I could point you to a site that has information on many sexual position but I don't remember the TOS for this site - so ill refrain. Hope th... (read in full...)

I don't think I've had an Orgasm yet. But what can I do about my more urgent problem? During and after sex? Help!

Q.   I am a 21 yo girl and do not think i have ever had the big O. When my boyfriend goes down on me i often always have the sensation of peeing when i do not have to or have nothing to pee out. However, I have a had an accident or two when the "pee...

A.   31 May 2012: Try masturbating (if you don't) to orgasm to learn what the sensations are for you. Being alone will help you find out how your body acts and reacts to sexual stimulation. This should help you relax when with your partner to allow him to bring you ... (read in full...)

I can only relax for sex if I've had a few drinks. Am I alone in this?

Q.   hi, i'm a 21 year old woman who sufferers with severe anxiety disorder and as a result, my sex drive seems to be zero. i find it incredibly hard to relax as a result of this and can only seem to relax enough in the bedroom if i've has a few drinks. ...

A.   17 April 2011: For starters, is your severe anxiety disorder a diagnosis given to you by a licensed therapist? And if so, are you take medications for your anxiety? If you are, the medications could be a reason your are suffering with a low sex drive. It is... (read in full...)

My marriage is on a downward spiral.

Q.   My marriage is on a downward spiral. I just want him to love me like he used to. I know he is capable. But I am not sure with my life at an all time low how to get his time and love. I need him so much, my mom is dieing and i feel alone and scared. ...

A.   17 April 2011: Share your fears and anxieties about your relationship with your husband and let him know that you desperately want to fix what is broken in your relationship. Offer to attend counseling together so that you to can talk about what is causing the ... (read in full...)

What does it mean when a guy asks you out late at night?

Q.   If a guy asks you out around 10pm what does that really mean? Why so late?...

A.   17 April 2011: It all depends. Where is he asking you out to? Are you going for dinner and then he takes you back home where you separate for the evening? Is he touchy-feely when you see him this late? I ask because it could genuinely be that he wants to... (read in full...)

How can you be good in bed and without your guy thinking you've been around the block with many men?

Q.   My boyfriend have been asking me questions lately that makes me feel really bad. Well everyone knows most guys like a freak in the bed they can still take home to momma. Well I consider myself that. There was onne guys I was with in the past that ...

A.   27 March 2011: So before answering your question, let me start by saying that sex IS a learned behavior and action. While the drive for sex is innate, we don't KNOW how to have sex until we actually start DOING it! That being said, you HAD to have some exp... (read in full...)

I have constant orgasms!

Q.   I have constant orgasms! They happen when I'm out shopping, hanging out, during class, or even just riding on the subway. When they happen, I usually excuse myself and relieve myself in the restroom. But sometimes I can't! I once sat through a job ...

A.   18 March 2011: It sounds like PGAD, or Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. There isn't much to be said about the disorder, other than doctors know what it is. There are some treatments of the symptoms through pharmacologic methods such as antidepr... (read in full...)

Am I a lesbian because I like masturbating more than sex?

Q.   hey guys,i enjoy mastabation more than sex,i have never reached orgasm during sex,when mastabating it only take me few minutes 2 reach orgasm is it normal,am i a lesbian??...

A.   18 March 2011: In short, no, you are not a lesbian. Many women find that it is more difficult to reach orgasm through penetrative sex rather than manual manipulation (masturbation). You seem to have found that you can reach orgasm easier this way also. ... (read in full...)

My b/f got his "friend" pregnant -- how do I draw the line on how much visitation?

Q.   Hi All - My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 1/2 years. When we began dating he was not completely honest with me and was still seeing other people during the first few months of our relationship (it was not completely exclusive) which ...

A.   15 January 2011: That's a tough situation and you have reason to have all those feelings. It may take some time before you can begin to truly accept the situation as it is, but over time, and if you really want to stay with your BF, you'll have to find your inner ... (read in full...)

My knees get weak every time I see my teacher with his shirt off!

Q.   Help! Im really falling for a teacher in my school, im not in his class any more but i still see him at my atheltics club and most of the time hes topless, i get butterflies in my stomach everytime i see him and i get nervous around him, he smiles ...

A.   5 December 2010: The best way to begin moving on is to find a young man near you age that has qualities you like. Then you will be able to focus your attention on the young man and not your teacher. There isn't anything inherently wrong with liking your teacher,... (read in full...)

My clitoris is bigger than other parts. Is this normal?

Q.   Hey guys this is abit embarrasing hence annon, but is it natural for my clitoris to be larger than the other parts of my private parts? Is it bad and do men find it unattractive?...

A.   22 November 2010: Natural? Normal? We are all made differently - so it's only natural and normal that your clitoris looks differently than others. Some women have larger clitorises and other women have smaller clitorises. But as long as they have a clitoris... (read in full...)

How do I face them after our drunken threesome?

Q.   I feel so sad guilty and ashamed. Yesterday my hubby and me went out for drinks after work, we were having so much fun that we didn't want to call it a night so we went home and continue drinking and my best friend tagged along we were having a ...

A.   20 November 2010: It sounds like the first thing you need to do is forgive yourself. You made a mistake that you regret - okay. But don't continue to dwell on the issue. Focus on your marriage and keeping the bond between you and your husband strong. There... (read in full...)

I am now in my 20s, and I still get petrified at the thought of getting pregnant...!

Q.   I have a question about sex, I am now in my 20s, and I still get petrified at the thought of getting pregnant and i know how my body works and i keep track of my cycle and all, but recently me and my bf of 2 years had sex without a condom for the ...

A.   30 October 2010: You should always be worried when engaging in intercourse without some sort of protection against pregnancy. The basic biological point to sex is pregnancy - so yes, you have reason to be worried. However, the chances of pregnancy are decrease... (read in full...)

Do you think men can change or do you think cheaters will always be cheaters?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 8 1/2 years and have been living together for 8 years. I moved out real young at the age of 17. Everything was going with well with he and I until and we talked about having kids and a couple of months later I was ...

A.   4 August 2010: Before I answer your question there is something else that needs to be discussed. You state that you haven't forgiven him - and that you will never forgive him. If you will never forgive him, then why are you still with him? You aren't doing ... (read in full...)

Why can't some guys just be honest? Is it so difficult?

Q.   I was seeing a guy as FWB (friend with benefits) for 2 years and it was all going well, i had my suspicions he was not single but never really pulled him up on it as i was too busy living and looking for a long term relationship of my own, anyway we ...

A.   1 August 2010: It is very important to have honesty in a relationship so I can understand why you are having anxiety over this issue. I think it's a safe bet to say that he is probably seeing another woman or many women. But I question what the real problem... (read in full...)

Does penis size determine if a woman will stay in the relationship?

Q.   Is penis size a major deciding factor on if a women will stay in the relationship, or leave?...

A.   25 July 2010: Absolutely not. Penis size has nothing to do with the strength of a relationship nor will it be the glue to bond a broken one. I can attest to that. During an open and honest conversation my ex wife told me (when our relationship began to turn ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to get this wet?

Q.   i get really wet and i wont even be in a sexual situation!!! (i mean wet to the point it drips down my leg) is this normal?...

A.   23 July 2010: Getting really wet when in sexual situations is normal. However, when not in those situations (or thinking about sex) it does seem a bit much that you are dripping so much. My best advice is to bring up the subject next time you see your doctor. ... (read in full...)

No one wants me, and no one seems to think I'm good enough!

Q.   I don't know what to do anymore, no one wants me, when it comes to age I'm either too old or too young and when it comes to my personality I'm too kind or too nice or too caring, when it comes to sex I'm not experianced or not confident enough :( ...

A.   14 July 2010: Someone wants you. Actually, there are lots of people who would want you - you just haven't found them yet. You are a young man with many great years ahead of you. Don't try to rush into something you might regret later. You WILL find a woman ... (read in full...)

Should I confront him about the Viagra?

Q.   Hi, I am a 20 year old female. I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months now. He is absolutely wonderful and I love him. Our sex life also has been good but there were couple times he had some trouble performing. A few days ago, I found pre...

A.   11 July 2010: Well... The question that comes to my mind is how old is your boyfriend? The reason I ask is because if he is your age (18-21) then I would be greatly concerned that he takes Viagra and NEEDS to take it. Wanting to take it is another ballgame... (read in full...)

I just had a baby with my boyfriend, but caught him making sexual advances towards my best friend!

Q.   I'm currently in a very annoying and awkward situation. My boyfriend of 3 yrs, whom I have an infant with, and my best friend of 3 yrs were caught red-handed, by me, this morning making sexual advances at one another in my freakin garage!! I saw ...

A.   11 July 2010: I'm sorry this happened to you - but now is the time to be stronger than ever. Your bestfriend showed you just how much of a friend she really is. Your boyfriend showed you just how much of a boyfriend he is. You don't need either of them. W... (read in full...)

Interested? Or just sex?

Q.   Ok how can i tell that a guy is really intersted in me or just want to have sex?...

A.   5 July 2010: By not giving him sex and seeing if he remains interested. Set rules. If you're looking for a long term relationship and not just another romp in the sack, let the guy know up front. Most people who are looking for casual hook-ups will flee whe... (read in full...)

Bestfriends with benefits?

Q.   Ok, so I'm in a very confusing situation with my bestfriend. We have been really good friends for about three years. In the beginning of our friendship he liked me and I liked him but he had a girlfriend and we didn't tell eachother about our ...

A.   19 April 2010: Well... Sex with your friend may not necessarily ruin your friendship - but why risk it? It will definitely change the landscape of your friendship. Sex isn't just some casual handshake - there are strong emotions and feeling tied into sex. Th... (read in full...)

What is my sexual orientation?

Q.   i'm 16 and really confused of my sexual orientation. when it comes to porn/sex i definitely like straight. i hate watching gay anal and also lesbian sex. when it comes to dating, marraige, life partners; i DEFINITELY want a girl. BUT this is the ...

A.   4 January 2010: Sexual orientation has more to do with who you identify your sexual partners to be. Pornography is not a good foundation to base sexual orientation on. In pornography, you are watching both male and female actors engage in sexual intercou... (read in full...)

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