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*een Through It agony aunt

*een Through It

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*een Through It's profile:

I live int he US and am here for various reasons. I yet to post a issue of my own, but find it interested to read what others are going though. It is a form of therapy and helps keep me grounded into what I want for my life. by writing it, it helps me stay connected to my thoughts.

I am in the process of getting a divorce and am lucky it is not nearly as bad as what most people are going though. I have one child who I love dearly and am committed to being the father she needs and wants. This time in my life has been very emotional on many levels. I have learned a lot about myself and where I have come. It's not easy and for the first time I really can feel what stress is. I am very lucky because I have great people in my life. Family, friends and a daughter that can melt my heart. My goal and what I believe for this divorce is to never forget who I am and to develop the best relationship with my ex to maintain security for our daughter.

My background for helping people here is just by giving any advice I can give based on my own experience. I have been though plenty of situations where I have thought deep and hard about my actions and what I have experienced. I have been given lots of advice. Some good and some bad. I believe in "it's easier said then done" and try to stay objective knowing I am not in their shoes. I hope I can be of any help to anyone in need of it.

Sleep deprived boyfriend has money for everything except an engagement ring. Should I cut my losses?

Q.   My boyfriend is sleep deprived. He gets about 4 hours of sleep per night. It's almost like a badge of honor for him that he works nights. He often talks about "day" people who get up in the morning, go to work and come home and eat dinner like ...

A.   13 March 2013: WOW he sounds like a lot of fun!!! I am sure at the beginning of your relationship he must of had the time and money to get you more interested in him as well as there is something about him today that warms your heart. Though he seems like a l... (read in full...)

I love a married woman who wont leave her life to be with me

Q.   I am in love with a married woman. I love her so much and she also. She is married about 9 year and have daughter of 8 year. But now i want to quit from this situation because i have got so much pain in this relation. She love me but not want to be w...

A.   12 March 2013: This is the part of what you stated you really did not consider. Your heart is now invested into something that is not available. She is struggling as much as you are if not more. With a unsatisfied marriage and a 8 year old daughter, she is ... (read in full...)

I cheated on my wife but now she is getting close to a male friend

Q.   ] Okay. So i kind of messed up. I had cheated on my wife 2 years ago. She got pregnant within a month of us meeting. I cheated on her when she was 6 months pregnant, again right before the birth and when our son was 2 months old but it was all with...

A.   9 March 2013: Don't turn your back to professional help because it didn't work out for your friends. There are plenty of cases that it does work out. You just have to want it to work. Same with her, and by taking that step you will be showing you are ready to... (read in full...)

I overhear people saying 'why is she with him' because I'm just an average guy whereas she is beautiful inside and out, should I ask my girlfriend what she saw in me?

Q.   I have been dating this beautiful girl for abt a year now!she's nice,kinda,a well educated woman she's working at a hospital..she's beautiful not only on the outside but also the inside and that's what attracted me to her! But the only thing that ...

A.   8 March 2013: Well that sucks, and sorry these people are jealous enough to judge you. Obviously she sees you for who you are and has a deeper connection then anyone of these shallow people. There must be something very special about you that makes her connect ... (read in full...)

My bf of 3 years said that he doesn't see us as a couple and he just wants to have fun until he meets "the one"!

Q.   Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years never talks about our future together, whenever i brought it up, he chnages the topic or says future is never certain. Yesterday i made him talk about our future, now he says he doesnt see us as a couple and he ju...

A.   8 March 2013: Most likely he doesn't want to be challenged with the questions about the future. Most men don't and miss the boat. Then again woman like to push hard and the relationship takes and awkward turn. It's was very deceiving of him to say what he did. ... (read in full...)

I cheated on my wife but now she is getting close to a male friend

Q.   ] Okay. So i kind of messed up. I had cheated on my wife 2 years ago. She got pregnant within a month of us meeting. I cheated on her when she was 6 months pregnant, again right before the birth and when our son was 2 months old but it was all with...

A.   8 March 2013: From what I am understanding it sounds as if you guys had a shotgun wedding after you had your son. You both are really young never got a chance to let your relationship grow to what it should be for a healthy start. I'm guessing you cheated for ... (read in full...)

How do I stay away from this married man???

Q.   Hello. I am involved in an emotional affair with a married guy. We haven't had sex or anything like that. But the attraction and chemistry between us is strong. We work together and used to speak more but recently because of the chemistry he has...

A.   8 March 2013: Sorry to hear about your marriage. It's a shame it went down that road and I understand why that would have led you into the arms of another man. Not that it's the right thing to do, but we make decisions and not think of the consequences all the ... (read in full...)

She says she can tell lies about other guys as she is not my wife!

Q.   i have been dating since 2 years. my girlfriend wants us to be engaged and then married. i have found her to be on dating sites many times and text messenging guys on different phone numbers. she always told lies about it, but now said that it is ...

A.   7 March 2013: Marriage is a huge step and I suggest marry for the right reasons. This does not qualify as right. Why would being married make her satisfied? Does she think everything completely changes the day after the wedding? Well a bit of reality, It doesn't. ... (read in full...)

How do I stay away from this married man???

Q.   Hello. I am involved in an emotional affair with a married guy. We haven't had sex or anything like that. But the attraction and chemistry between us is strong. We work together and used to speak more but recently because of the chemistry he has...

A.   7 March 2013: Thanks for opening up and sharing more about past in detail. Did your husband become more abusive to you by finding out your affair with the other man? After reading your story, it seems like you fall for married men, because there is somethi... (read in full...)

I know he knows how to kiss, so why just a peck?

Q.   Had my first kiss with someone who I've been flirting with for weeks, but it was a peck! He had tried to kiss me on a previous occasion, but I didn't realise and it was awkward, and we didn't kiss, so I told him that I liked him and wanted to kiss ...

A.   6 March 2013: HAHA, WOW that sucks. Well you have to show this man what a real kiss is. And by doing that.... I say kiss him like you want to be kissed. You'll then find out if there is connection between you two. I understand people can be nervous, but you ... (read in full...)

How do I stay away from this married man???

Q.   Hello. I am involved in an emotional affair with a married guy. We haven't had sex or anything like that. But the attraction and chemistry between us is strong. We work together and used to speak more but recently because of the chemistry he has...

A.   6 March 2013: Obviously there is part of you that likes the attention you are getting from him even if he is unavailable. Being attracted to someone you work with (especially someone who is married) is very tough. Once you cross that line it becomes extremely ... (read in full...)

My wife doesn't like sex, won't let me have someone else. I'm at my rope's end!

Q.   Me and my wife have been married for 5 years now, she was 30 and I was 25. She wanted to wait until we were married to have sex, for religious reasons. I was ok with this because I always try to be a gentleman. I was her first boyfriend, and there ...

A.   3 March 2013: This is an interesting situation and it is unfortunate your relationship is at this serious crossroads. From what I am reading she has some issues and maybe religion has played too big a part in her life. It is resulting in possibly loosing her ... (read in full...)

I am married. But I still have a crush on this guy from the past. Can I get over my crush? Or what should I do?

Q.   I’m a married woman with two children. My husband is good but not so romantic. He loves me, but he does not show me that he loves me. When I was in school I was proposed to by a boy who self-harmed himself. I loved him secretly but I was suspecte...

A.   1 March 2013: I agree with Dirtball. I don't know this man, but don't believe he understands what he wants. I have a feeling he really enjoys you feeding his ego. Men really like that. Hell, I like that... but when it comes down to it saying things like, I s... (read in full...)

Did I taint my husband's image? He is cross that I confronted the married woman who's been sending him love texts

Q.   I received love texts in my hubby's phone which were replies to a married woman's txts. The last one states that 'soon we shall be together darling' When i asked him he denied and said he has no affair with this particular woman. We decided to bl...

A.   28 February 2013: Was there a particular woman he is having an affair with? It;s true people can become very strange, but I feel in older to become that way, he must have led something for her to believe. The real issue here is. Is he happily married? If not, what is ... (read in full...)

Is he bored with me? I caught him yanking off in bed next to me!

Q.   I have been in a relationship with a man who was married for over 20 years. The last 7 years it was a sexless marriage. We happen to have sex very often but there are times where I find porn on his phone and have caught him a few times masturbati...

A.   28 February 2013: To "A Happy Place" I don't believe porn (for me) creates dissatisfaction. Making love is not just "You lay Down, I get on top and lets wrap this thing up in a minute so I can watch my show." It's much deeper then that and needs a bit of creativity ... (read in full...)

Porn Addicts - how to spot one in 13 ways

Q.   Here are a few ways you can spot a porn addict. I've had it happen to myself. 1. They pick on your appearance, they try to change your appearance. "Can you not wear your hair like that tomorrow?" "Why don't you wear fake tan?" 2. They think r...

A.   28 February 2013: Phew!, I am glad I am not a porn adict. ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if my BF is telling the truth or not? What lengths will some men go to, to tell lies?

Q.   How can you tell if your boyfriend is tellin the truth whether a "friend" is just a friend orwhether he has slept with her. He denies anything happened that hey were just friends. I somehow believe him, just want to know to what lenths will you ...

A.   26 February 2013: No one will be able to tell you other then him, and most likely he won't tell you. I always believe a way to tell is in their actions and how they look at you. When you are in love and your relationship is not polluted with infidelity, it's at it's ... (read in full...)

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