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*eanutButter agony aunt


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I am a lady in my 30's with 3 children and a few pets. I have experienced many a different awkward situation in my life and I have a lot of advice to give! Don't be afraid to ask! :)

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Guests are constantly criticizing my home, is this a new trend?

Q.   I have realised that one of the things that drives me crazy is people who come into my home and criticise it saying things like: 'This isnt a home..this is a house!" And always telling me how great their place will be or my place would be if they...

A.   24 August 2017: Some people are so rude these days - especially with the internet and Facebook, people are busy shouting their opinions online and all over the place and now in real life instead of remembering that things they say can hurt someone's feelings and ... (read in full...)

Was she hinting that she wants me?

Q.   My female friend sugguested that I masturbated then openly admitted she does it. Was she hinting that she wants me or am I misreading the situation? Basically I was saying I was having trouble sleeping and she was like why don't you go masturbat...

A.   29 September 2016: I agree with Aunt Honesty. This girl is probably just open about herself and had no issues with suggesting it to you as for some people it is absolutely perfectly normal in every way - including talking about it. I wouldn't read too much into it. I ... (read in full...)

She showed me her nude pictures. Does this mean she likes me?

Q.   A little about us, we are both 21, study at the same university and are very close to each other. We study together, eat together, hang out it the same group most of the time. Last week we were doing an assignment at her place. Actually there w...

A.   29 September 2016: Unfortunately I don't think she is interested in you, but I think she likes the attention. I don't think she has any qualms about her body and is in a great place with her confidence and probably got a kick out of seeing you seeing her photos and ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend just broke up with me and I am devastated

Q.   My boyfriend of less than a year just broke up with me. I am 31. I feel so alone and devastated. He was everything you could want in a guy except he suffered from depression. He couldn't seem to get himself in the mainframe to love someone else. He ...

A.   29 September 2016: Breaking up with someone is always devastating, even when it isn't a good break up, perfect relationship or if you saw it coming. The bottom line here is that you did nothing wrong and this is behaviour that he has exhibited in the past and ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is moving into a house with a guy she once cheated with. I'm not happy about this!

Q.   Hi, My girlfriend recently moved out into a student house. I've been with her for a few months but shes moving into a house with the boy who she cheated on her boyfriend with previously. He has no respect for boyfriends and always tries to hit on ...

A.   29 September 2016: I would seriously just let her do what she wants and just stop communicating with her. She clearly thinks she can have her cake (and eat it) so let her have the cake and see if it still tastes any good when you're not around. Maybe she will come to ... (read in full...)

Is this legitimate suspicion or paranoia?

Q.   As I venture more and more into the gay world (possibly the same in the straight world), I recognise that I have this unique skill in winning over guys and making friends easily. This gives me a great power, in that im not afraid to put myself out ...

A.   29 September 2016: You are probably giving it way too much thought and, in a way, just doubting yourself as a friend rather than doubting the friend themselves. You feel like you might not be enough to be a friend and that all the friend wants is access to other ... (read in full...)

Should I act now? I don't want things to go too far, but I like my tutor and I think he likes me. What should I do...?

Q.   I'm a 24 year old girl who just started college 6 months ago. For the last 3 months I've been getting help from a tutor in a class that I had trouble keeping up in. The tutors at my college are students that have shown excellence in their past mon...

A.   29 September 2016: You should never act on instinct when it comes to a tutor/student relationship. I would back off and leave well alone. Who knows, later down the line when you're no longer a student, anything is possible - for now, though, you might be causing ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has always been rather shady. Is this a red flag?

Q.   I would like some advice on whether the following scenario would raise a red flag: Today I was driving home from work, on the phone with my boyfriend. Suddenly he said he had to take a call, so I was like OK, call me back. When I got home 40mins l...

A.   29 September 2016: If your man admitted to having a sideline account it would be very coincidental if someone else was calling him with their sideline account, too - unless there was something going on. I think it must be that his sideline account was alerting him to ... (read in full...)

Do all men stare at other women? Is it natural?

Q.   Hi I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years we are happy we live together and never argue there's just one problem his interest in other women I know all men look but he stares for ages I have told him many times how this upsets me but he ...

A.   18 October 2015: Yes, it is natural, and women do it to, to men. However, the fact that you've expressed to him that it makes you uncomfortable and he's doing it still, and for long periods of time, is hurtful to you and he should have a gentle nudge and an "oi" ... (read in full...)

I'm frustrated and tired of being the one to always initiate sex

Q.   hi everyone hope you can help. me and my boyfriend have been together a very long time now, we are very much in love and happy.. however! we seem to never ever have sex and when we do it doesnt last very long and its usually rubbish and then...

A.   9 October 2015: He might have a low sex drive and need actual medical help with a medical condition. It is possible he is also depressed or stressed, both of which are reasons that people can go off of sex. Boredom is an issue, too, if the guy is usually into it ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong or illegal to pursue a relationship with a teacher at my child's school?

Q.   Please can some one help me. I have fallen in love with a teacher who works at the school my children attend,and i was wondering is there a law that States a teacher cannot have a relationship with a parent? He has feelings for me too but he is sc...

A.   9 October 2015: It isn't illegal, I don't think, but it might be a little unethical. If you are in a relationship with this person already, then I would ask him about his school rules, and if you are not, then cross that bridge when you come to it. ... (read in full...)

Should I be feeling guilty? She got offended because I WANTED to use a condom

Q.   I really am losing faith in humanity. Here goes: I’m 26, and a mature(ish) student at University. I recently got with a girl who I’d had my eye on for some time. We’d been hanging about in the same group of friends for several months and would fl...

A.   20 May 2015: Don't feel guilty, feel PROUD! If more people thought about safer sex then there would be so many less unwanted pregnancies, STD's and more! I think she got hurt because she maybe had an alterior motive, and if she didn't, she's stupid and... (read in full...)

I don't think I can do a long distance relationship with a man who has a kid

Q.   I have been dating a guy for two years with a kid. Recently, he's graduated from college. We've been discussing moving in together for a while over the Summer. He wants to take a year off from school but lately he's been talking about going to grad ...

A.   19 May 2015: It sounds like this relationship is already at an impass without the thought of distance coming in to play. It sounds like you're looking for reasons why it won't ad because you are doubtful, you will never make it work. Every relation... (read in full...)

Lovey dovey stage over already?! 

Q.   My boyfriend and me are very loving but yet lately I've been feeling like all we ever do is the same stuff over and over again. We always end up sitting in the car quietly. He doesn't seem to want to be romantic with me anymore and its only been 6 ...

A.   18 April 2015: Best thing you can do is to talk to him and tell him how you feel - he might be feeling the same way! It could just be a phase and you might be seeing problems where there aren't any! The lovey dovey stuff does fizzle out in most relationshi... (read in full...)

Getting back to dating: who does the chasing in a relationship today? Man? Or women? Either or both?

Q.   Who should do the chasing in a relationship? Man or woman? If the man initially did a lot of chasing is it ok for the woman to chase too or would that put a guy off? I have just got back into dating after a 4 year break and I tend to think th...

A.   18 April 2015: Life is too short to worry about chasing or not chasing - if you like someone enough, you chase them and get their attention, ask them out etc - the worst that can happen is that they say no! I am a woman and I never knew HOT to persue people I... (read in full...)

Why would that girl and Mr. Admin talk about me a year after I left the site?

Q.   I'm interested to know your points of view on this. Here's a little history: About two years ago, I joined a chat site where people go on to chat about movies. The admin of the site and I clicked immediately and within a few days, he made m...

A.   18 April 2015: I agree with the last poster that life is too short. People have the right to feel how they want about you and it is none of your business (in a good way, I'm not being mean) and so the best thing you can do is to let them get on with their on... (read in full...)

What's the hype with men liking big butts?

Q.   What's the hype with men liking big butts? Something I've noticed the past year or so is that a lot of men seem to be butt men. They like the 'Kim Kardashian' type butt, the big, round butt. Even the majority of my sister and I's male friends hav...

A.   18 April 2015: Don't buy into the hype. Most men who like you, like you for what you have, not what the world says they like! You are perfect as you are, to the right person! ... (read in full...)

My husband is as cold as ice between the sheets, but I love him and want us to be happy. Was I naive?

Q.   Hello all, I'll get right to it. I am married and my husband is cold as ice between the sheets. I've tried some different things to spice it up, but to no avail. He says he's just not the romantic type, but we barely have sex anymore. It's ju...

A.   18 April 2015: Some men do not want to have sex as much as others, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, or you, or anything really, but if it is biothering you then it might simply come down to your incompatibility, If he knows how you feel and ... (read in full...)

My husband feels entitled to make all the financial decisions.

Q.   My husband and I have an ongoing issue with finances to the point that we actually split for a while . He earns a good income and I have up my job to support him in the businesss He makes all financial decisions often without my knowledge . I am pla...

A.   3 April 2015: When you are in a relationship that has only 1 person controlling the money, it feels as though they have all the control, period, which is not good for a relationship at all, which I think you realize. If talking it out doesn't work for you, the... (read in full...)

Boyfriend keeps kicking me out and I am Pregnant

Q.   I'm in need of some advice. I don't know what's going on with my life. I'm only 21 And Ive been with a older guy for the past 2 years and a half.. He has always had the control of the situation because I moved from my home town to all over with him. ...

A.   3 April 2015: honestly, this is not a secure, safe or loving relationship and you need to get out. Whatever you do, do not go back to this guy - you are stronger than you think and you have so much life to live, without this man in the picture. Whether you have ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend keeps kicking me out and I am Pregnant

Q.   I'm in need of some advice. I don't know what's going on with my life. I'm only 21 And Ive been with a older guy for the past 2 years and a half.. He has always had the control of the situation because I moved from my home town to all over with him. ...

A.   3 April 2015: honestly, this is not a secure, safe or loving relationship and you need to get out. Whatever you do, do not go back to this guy - you are stronger than you think and you have so much life to live, without this man in the picture. Whether you have ... (read in full...)

My aspergers boyfriend wont have sex with me.

Q.   Hi, I am seeking help as I am dating an aspergers male virgin. I have researched various articles and I am trying to understand it more. I have grown up around aspergers/autism as majority of males in my family have it, however dating is different. ...

A.   27 March 2015: Honestly, it might not be the aspergers causing it, it has only been 3 months and he may just need to go a bit slower!... (read in full...)

I do still love my Gf. Yet I'm having feelings for another. Should I talk about this to my Gf?

Q.   I am in a relationship of 5 years and I'm in my final year of university so I am away from my girlfriend weeks at a time. Recently we have been arguing more frequently and we both recognise the spark is going out and so are currently trying to ignit...

A.   27 March 2015: Instead of talking to your gf about this girl you like, you should talk to her about the relationship in general. dont mae it worse for her with the other girl, but see if your relationship has anwhere else to go. It seems you are ready to move on.... (read in full...)

(Long distance relationship) My girlfriend is being distant towards me. Why?

Q.   Hi all, I have been dating my girlfriend and we are having a long distance relationship. We have been dating over a year plus and we've already made plans together, such as me moving over to live with her soon. We used to text and video chat...

A.   21 March 2015: I was in a long distance (4k miles) relationship for years and there wasn't a day went by where i wasn't excited to talk to my pattner. We are now married and togethet 9 years so ther eis hope but you need some communication and honesty. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend read my texts in front of me without my permission. Why did he do this?

Q.   I was with my BF of two years the other day and he saw that I received a few texts. The battery died on my phone and as soon as it recharged he saw I had three texts waiting to be read. He seemed very interested in my texts from the moment he sa...

A.   21 March 2015: It is fine for couples for reading eachothers texts but in this manner it is total BS honestly. I would talk to him about it. I am married for 9 years and will read my husbnd's texts cause he haets to deal with people and I will let him read mine ... (read in full...)

I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!

Q.   We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...

A.   21 March 2015: Honestly, he might well just be in contact for the kds, my husband frequently deletes text from his ex - not to hide them, but cause he hates to see her on his phone! He doesn't even keep her in his phone under her name he dispises her so much. It ... (read in full...)

I'm confused about my feelings for my ex-FWB!

Q.   A couple of years ago I had a friends with benefits. It lasted around 2 years, and as far as I was concerned nobody caught feelings. I was doing all the chasing. I think I may have been too easy for him, at the time. It ended due to me seeing a new ...

A.   8 March 2015: You broke it off to be with the new guy and now you're harder to chase and he probably likes the chase like any red blooded man and is probably just giving his ego a boost seeing you and feeling better about the fact you broke it off by knowing the ... (read in full...)

What do I tell my young daughter about her father?

Q.   My 2yr old daughter has said to me today wheres daddy after watching all programs that involve a daddy in it, I kinda just brushed it off ?? She's never been in contact with her dad and he doesn't want anything to do with her, my problem is I now...

A.   8 March 2015: At 2 years old it is hard for a child to understand anything with clarity and so you could tell her how much she is loved and that daddy is off on an adventure. When she is a little older, and able to take it all in, you can revisit the question and ... (read in full...)

How do I fight to keep this woman in my life?

Q.   She was married to her second husband for 18 years. She loved him deeply. She is a sensitive woman whom loves with all her heart. During their union, she had a rare liver disease and underwent 2 liver transplants. The first was rejected. Afterwards, ...

A.   31 January 2015: I agree on encouraging her to seek out councelling, sometimes talking things out with an unbias third party is just the medicine anyone needs to start to heal. She deserves to be happy and it is hard to snap out of a sad mindset with so much hurt ... (read in full...)

Do all romatic relationships end in breakup eventually? If we lived long enough could we tolerate our partner for eighty years? What happens over time that causes the breakup? Is it inevitable?

Q.   After two long-term relationship failed, im beginning to wonder am I at all the cause. Im lesbian for starters, and I connect really well with females. Obviously somewhere I lost connection. My first relationship was 3 years... it ended bc my ex ...

A.   31 January 2015: IT doesn't matter if you are bi, gay, straight or anything else in-between, there are so many reasons why relationships fail and you may well go through several in your lifetime and never really know why they didn't work out. Sometimes people are ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want sex anymore, and I want it more than ever. What do I do?

Q.   My boyfriend works a lot, and is often very tired when he gets home from work. He used to want sex every time we spent time together, but since he has moved in with me, he has become apathetic. I am currently unemployed, and I know that is stressing ...

A.   31 January 2015: He may just be very stressed with the weight of the world on his shoulders right now and it just isn't something he thinks about or builds up to through the course of a work day. Maybe suggest taking time to get together and bathe together or eat ... (read in full...)

All the signs are there to say he is cheating!

Q.   My boyfriend is the kinda guy that is usually so nice and understanding and not the typical asshole, even when we're super bad and he knows im upset he tries to make everything better. Takes his blame and even some of mine.. and just complete ...

A.   31 January 2015: I honestly couldn't tell you if he is cheating or not but I think you should consider not chasing him for information or stalking his profiles because it is just going to make you feel worse. IF he is cheating then there is not much you can do about ... (read in full...)

How do I back off in a LDR? How can I encourage him to chase me?

Q.   I am the female, 23, and lately boyfriend, 21, has been acting distant. We've been together for a year. He would text me good morning beautiful and all those things but for the past couple of weeks or so, they are nonexistent. Whenever we te...

A.   31 January 2015: One thing you have to remember in LDR is that he very well might not have any problems but you might be overthinking things so much that you're causing the problems when you do keep asking about it. Is it likely that he is having some kind of moment ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this feeling of confidence or lack of confidence in my body image?

Q.   Does anyone have this re-ocurring feelings and nervousness that they might not actually look the way they appear in picture when they are about to go on a date with someone they met online This is my first date with a wonderful chinese girl i m...

A.   30 July 2014: Honestly, I would stop worrying about how other people see you in photos and in real life and just remember that if they are interested in you, they will love you for who you are no matter what. You can never look fabulous 100% of the time but you ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this feeling of confidence or lack of confidence in my body image?

Q.   Does anyone have this re-ocurring feelings and nervousness that they might not actually look the way they appear in picture when they are about to go on a date with someone they met online This is my first date with a wonderful chinese girl i m...

A.   30 July 2014: Honestly, I would stop worrying about how other people see you in photos and in real life and just remember that if they are interested in you, they will love you for who you are no matter what. You can never look fabulous 100% of the time but you ... (read in full...)

I feel like I need to move on, but I'm not sure how! Help?

Q.   I've got a question and I don't want to be judged I just want some light shed on the situation Basically I was with my ex partner for 5 years we had a son together had a relatively happy relationship. He did after our first year together cheat o...

A.   18 June 2014: I think that this is a classic case of wanting his cake and eating it, too! He doesn't want to commit to you and is making a meal of seeing someone else while he is firmly planted at your house for a week here, there an whenever he seems to feel ... (read in full...)

Shouldn't he be focusing on the time she has left, instea of planning her funeral?

Q.   My mum has terminal cancer and is under palliative care. Recently she's gone downhill and my dad is preparing for her death. He's organising the order of service, timings, list of people to tell, music, food etc ringing people up and having lengthy ...

A.   18 June 2014: I think that it is very practical to plan a funeral in advance, knowing that the end is near - but I agree that it is a little much having the undertaker over when she is in the house an still alive and kicking! I think that some sensitiv... (read in full...)

I'm nervous about seeing my ex again. Should I not go?

Q.   At the beginning of the year, I broke up with my gf of 3.5 years because we weren't compatible for marriage. I haven't seen or spoken with her since. Unfortunately, I'm still very much in love her and I haven't been able to get her off my mind. ...

A.   18 June 2014: Honestly I think you are being a little silly even considering not attending! YOU broke up with HER and so you should lie in that bed you made for yourself. Maybe she won't go, maybe she won't talk to you if she does and you bump into one anot... (read in full...)

Sick and tired of the dating game

Q.   I have had another disappointment in my "dating life" today and this was the last drop... I met this girl 10 days ago and we seemed to hit it off quite well. I asked for her number and 3 days later we met for lunch. There again, we had a good ti...

A.   18 June 2014: I think that you are perhaps trying too hard - just reading your post you sound like a decent person an that is NEVER a bad thing, but please don't change who you are just to find a woman because in the end, who you are underneath it all will ... (read in full...)

Is love possible between a 20 year old male and a 16 year old girl?

Q.   Is love possible with a 20year male and 16year girl? Will girls tend to change after they attain 18years/maturity? Does she still have love with a person whom after falling in love didnt talk to her for a month?...

A.   18 June 2014: It is entirely possible but wholly impractical and I think that you aught to leave well alone. While a 4 year age difference doesn't seem like much if you are 30 an they are 26, there is a whole world of difference between a 16 year old and a 20... (read in full...)

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