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| | Susan Strict's profile:I live in the UK with my long-term partner and my three children aged 10, 12 and 21. I'm no youngster, obviously, but I think it would be fair to say that I've been more than a little wild in my time, even though I have now been pretty much settled for nearly 30 years.
I find relationships fascinating, particularly the sexual side of them. The psychology of sexual likes and dislikes is a subject that I have studied in depth for years and I still feel that I'm only scratching the surface of it. I am a writer, among other things, with a number of published books - NOT heavy academic stuff; in fact they are nearly all erotic fiction (what most people would call a little "kinky") strictly for broadminded adults! Great fun to write, and with the most wonderful feedback from some of the readers. Definitely not to everyone's tastes though, and some less broadminded readers would be shocked.
What else makes me tick? Fast cars; fishing; shooting; men - even though I'm strictly monogamous these days I still have an over-active imagination; reading; chess; cooking - particularly if I've grown it, caught it or shot it.
And most of all, I love people.
Well, that's a summary of me. Feel free to send me messages, anyone.
Susan |
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Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 9 May 2008: Actually, I should add that it's normal if they have always been like that. If one has become larger and wasn't previously larger, then you need to consult a doctor to make sure it's not something nasty.... (read in full...)
We're trying to conceive but he can't ejaculate! What can I do?
Q. Hi, I hope some of you will be able to help. This is probably going to be long but I need advice real bad. I don't know what else to do! OKay, so my partner has difficulty ejaculating for some reason. But the sex is good, at least I think so, so i...
A. 9 May 2008: Does he do it all right if you... I can't think of a polite way of putting it... if you give him a handjob?
The answer to that will tell you if it's a medical problem.
If it's not a medical problem, then you need to be a little more inventive -... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 9 May 2008: Yes. Or vice versa.... (read in full...)
I have EXTREMELY bad PMS symptoms, what can I do to reduce their effect before they sabotage my relationship and my own personal well being??
Q. Okay so I have EXTREMELY bad PMS symptoms. I get just about everything known to womankind of this nature. Two weeks before I start my period, my skin breaks out terribly, my stomach cramps, my back aches, I get fatigued, crave junk really ...
A. 9 May 2008: I'm 100% in agreement with Tisha on this one - in fact I know about Cymbalta because one of my friends was taking it. You really need to talk to the doctor urgently about why it was prescribed and whether it is appropriate to your particular ... (read in full...)
My daughter is 19, unmarried and pregnant. Any pointers?
Q. My daughter is 19 and lives with her bf. I was against that decision, but she's grown. Now, she tells me that she is pregnant, I don't know how to handle the situation without alienating her. I don't approve because she is not married. It's not what ...
A. 9 May 2008: Yes, I can give you pointers from the point of view of a parent.
Your children will find their own way in life - which won't necessarily coincide with your views, your ambitions for them, or even your own morality. They won't be clones of you. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because our sex life is virtually non existent?
Q. Hi i'm thinking of leaving my wife, i like her in many ways but our sex life is virtually non exsistance. I've met a wonderful woman aged 18 who is beautiful and works as a model. The sex is absolutely fantastic. Do think there is a chance for us, ...
A. 9 May 2008: Yes. I think you should leave your wife. I think she deserves to be given the opportunity to find someone else.
If a relationship isn't working, then there's no point in going on with it. And evidently you've either tried to put it right an... (read in full...)
Come on aunts and uncles stop dodging your resposibilities....
Q. I often hear the phrase 'it's not for me to judge'. If no one offers a judgement then how is right and wrong determined in society? Someone batters an old woman, 'it's not for me to judge'....Someone molests a child, 'it's not for me to judge'. Isn...
A. 9 May 2008: Right and wrong is determined by law.
Nearly everything else is a shade of grey that is determined by individual circumstances, individual morality, practicality, opinion and circumstance.
And that's what we do here. We weigh the circumstance... (read in full...)
Can someone shed some light on my secret fantasy?
Q. okay I am hoping someone can shed some light on my secret fantasy. I am not normally turned on by other women, and have a boyfriend, but sometimes certain women really turn me on (if they are attractive and have the right personality). ...
A. 9 May 2008: Don't do it.
NOT because there's anything wrong with you wanting to experiment with another woman, but simply because it's cheating on your boyfriend exactly the same as if you decided to experiment with another man.
Three-way relationships ra... (read in full...)
My husband's penis is abusing him!
Q. Got your attention didn't it? This is sort of strange question. My husband has a pretty low sex drive, he does not suffer from sexual dysfunction, his drive is just naturally low. When he gets sick though he gets erect a lot, I mean a lot and s...
A. 6 May 2008: Increased body temperature causes dilation of the blood vessels - i.e. they get larger, and therefore blood flows more easily. That might account for more frequent than normal erections that are sparked off by the mind being less distracted than ... (read in full...)
I said No to a motorcycle trip with himbecause of his bad driving habits, and now he's mad at me!!
Q. My boyfriend just bought another huge motorcycle. He wants to tour around the country on road trips. We are having a big debate about whether I will go with him or not. I am not afraid of riding on bikes but I am terrified of his poor driving ...
A. 5 May 2008: Try to talk him out of it, out of going. Not until he has done the safety course and someone shows him the dangers.
No you're not being irrational. Like most, he has no idea what everyone else will go through if something happens to him on that ... (read in full...)
Can someone please help me...Am I depressed??
Q. I just really need some advice, i guess sometimes it's more helpful hearing advice from people i do not personally know. I'm not sure, but i think I am depressed. I know a doctor can only disgnose someone with depression, but how can one actually...
A. 4 May 2008: I don't think counselling is right for everyone. I don't think prayer is right for everyone.
I think that in the end your answers and the strength to move forward has to come from within you, and although counselling, friends or relative... (read in full...)
I'm not cheating but my boyfriend thinks I am.
Q. I need help, FAST! My boyfriend found 3 messages i'd sent a guy i slept with before.(TOTALLY INNOCENT) He was a colleage, and i HAD to text him regarding work, even though i know i was totally in the wrong for doing it behind my boyfriend's back. ...
A. 4 May 2008: All you can do is to apologise and do your best to explain everything.
My guess is that the trust issue will be far more of a concern to him than the drunken violence. It may be a little odd, and my advice to any girl whose boyfriend had been vio... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian/ bi or just curious?
Q. i am a 21 year old married female. I have been marries for 6 years and have lately found myself attracted to weman. I have found myself masterbating watching lesbian porn, and i feel horrible about it because i will do it about 5 times in 1 day. I ...
A. 3 May 2008: No. You should not go with a woman to find out if you are lesbian or bi. That's being unfaithful exactly the same as a woman sleeping with a man other than her husband or a man sleeping with a woman other than his wife. There's absolutely no ... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with my penis?!?
Q. I am 17 years old and I have some questions about my penis. First of all, my penis is 6" and 5" in girth, is that good for my age and will it get any bigger. Second of all,when hard, it curves slightly to the left and I can bend it over to m...
A. 3 May 2008: No it won't grow any more (probably).
The bend in it? Not a problem as far as I know.
Errm... I know it's an odd question, but can anyone explain why we seem to have had loads and loads of questions about male appendages that bend to the LEFT... (read in full...)
Surely I'm not the only one who's dug the biggest hole she could dig and now cant see a way out?
Q. hi. i am in a realtionship and have been with him 12 yrs. and through this 12 yrs i have had cancer and nearly lost my 3 month old son. etc..he hs stood by me through thick and thin. we have not had an easy time. my partner loves me very much. but i ...
A. 3 May 2008: Yes, you have dug a hole for yourself. It's easy to say and harder to do, but now you know you are in such a hole then for goodness sake stop digging.
Make your choices. Decide who is most important to you. Going on the way you are sounds t... (read in full...)
When did everyone stop masturbating? Or do you still do it?
Q. Hi, just for curiosity, when did everyone stop masturbating? Or do you still do it? I am 36 but stopped when i was about 20ish. Also, when did everyone start. Males and females should answer...
A. 3 May 2008: About ten minutes ago.... (read in full...)
Should I give my teacher the poem I wrote about him?
Q. im deliberating over sending my teacher a poem i have written about him? shall i just go ahead and give it him because i really really want him to know? i dont understand how this site works but please could someone give me advice! ...
A. 3 May 2008: If it's a love poem, then it may save both you and him much embarrassment if you don't give it to him.
On the other hand if it's a poem about how well he teaches, then go right ahead.... (read in full...)
He doesn't fancy me so why is doing all this flirty sex stuff?
Q. there is this lad.; who is about 8 years older than me, we have been m8z for quite a few years. wen we first met i had a huge crush on him, which he found out about. but then got over it. recently, over the past year he has been relaly flirty over ...
A. 3 May 2008: This is fairly standard behaviour for many young (-ish) men at a party IF they think they can get away with it. If you didn't like it, you really should have told him to stop doing it.
He clearly finds you attractive and desirable, but that doe... (read in full...)
Should your bf keep pics of a hot girl from the past on his phone?
Q. After a few years with a boyfriend---if a friend sends him a picture of some hot girl--like from the internet or something to his phone, isn't it rude and a little disrespectful of the boyfriend to KEEP that picture or video in his phone? Afte...
A. 3 May 2008: I don't think you are out of line asking him to remove it from his phone. Yes it's quite pleasant and not unreasonable to keep pictures of people you used to know, whether or not you had a relationship with them, but storing on them a phone seems ... (read in full...)
Is online sexual innuendo considered cheating?
Q. Is online sexual innuendo considered cheating? I ask this because earlier i saw my boyfriend and a girl using sexual innuendo and it made me feel very uncomfortable, he said it was just for laughs and it means nothing to him, but im still not ver...
A. 3 May 2008: If you're not happy with it then you tell him and if he has the slightest respect for you then he will stop.
Some people do this regularly on the Internet - you only have to read the forums here to see what I mean. Generally it doesn't mean any... (read in full...)
I don't think my friend is in love with me but he wants sex. What should I do?
Q. im 14 and i hav a freind with benifits whos also 14 (hes my Xboyfreind). we have been seeing eachother for about 5 months and i hav already givin him oral sex. My freinds and family all say that he doesnt deserve me and that i can do better and at ...
A. 3 May 2008: Sex is much, much better if it happens between people who genuinely love each other.
That's not a "moral" comment - it's simply a fact. It's a far better experience with someone you love and who loves you. Vague "feelings" are not enough. ... (read in full...)
Why do so many teenage girls have a thing for their male teachers?
Q. Why do so many teenage girls on this site have a thing for their male teachers? There are so many posts from teenage girls who say they are in love with their male teachers. Some of these teachers are 20 or more years older than these girls, so it ...
A. 3 May 2008: I agree absolutely with "hlskitten" - and I see that we've just had a question here from a teenage boy in love with his female teacher.
I think it's rather bizarre, because there's absolutely no doubt that when I was in my teens and early twenties... (read in full...)
Why would he take a condom with him if he didn't expect to have sex?
Q. My boyfriend went away to Seattle then to california to see his friend 2 weeks ago and he got back monday. When i went over last night i went to get the toothpaste out of his bag where he keeps all the toothpaste etc which he had taken with him, ...
A. 2 May 2008: It's odd, but so many men seem to do that. My partner used to always have one in his bag and I know he never used it because it was there for years and years with the wrapper getting tattier and tattier.
I did ask him. He blushed bright r... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend?
Q. is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend- or have a crush on them? by the way i am a girl and my best friend is a girl. help!...
A. 2 May 2008: You can fall in love with almost anyone at almost any age, and it's not wrong.
The real question is whether you should show your love, and that's more difficult to answer.
Love can be shown in many ways, and true friendship is one of them. Fr... (read in full...)
Can someone please help me...Am I depressed??
Q. I just really need some advice, i guess sometimes it's more helpful hearing advice from people i do not personally know. I'm not sure, but i think I am depressed. I know a doctor can only disgnose someone with depression, but how can one actually...
A. 2 May 2008: You may be depressed, but it doesn't sound like you have depression. It doesn't hurt to go and talk it through with a doctor. They are the experts and they can go through it all with you and that may help.
Losing someone close makes many peo... (read in full...)
Will he expect me to sleep with him? We've been sex texting and I sent him a raunchy picture of myself...
Q. I have been sex texting (quite explicit) a guy and sent him a raunchy picture of myself. He is taking me out for dinner next week. Do you think he will be expecting me to sleep with him as I've sent him these raunchy messages? I have already been ...
A. 2 May 2008: He'll certainly be hoping you will sleep with him. If you aren't likely to want to do that, then you HAVE to tell him that before you meet him. He'll probably still be hoping, but if you have made it clear it's not going to happen then he knows ... (read in full...)
Is he not interested, or is this a normal 'guy' thing?
Q. Hello,, My boyfriend doesn't seem to remember much of what i say to him. I find i have to repeat things I've said before. Could this mean he's not interested in things i say? Or is this a normal guy thing? thanks....
A. 2 May 2008: Men rarely listen :( It's perfectly normal. And however often you say "are you listening to me?" and he assures you that he is, half the time he won't remember what you've said five minutes later.
I'm sure there are exceptions, and somewher... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 2 May 2008: I would have thought he would have been far less calm about it if he were really "up to something". Take it slowly and gently, and don't get stressed unless/until you know for sure there is a problem. As it stands, you don't have any real reason ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 1 May 2008: It may not be nearly as bad as you think. There MIGHT be a problem, but equally there might not. People register on "dating" sites - particularly the smuttier ones, if you know what I mean, for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to be painted nude. Is this normal?
Q. Hi my wife would like to have a nude painting done of her and is quite turned on by that fact that people will see it. is this normal or what...
A. 1 May 2008: It's fine, but I think she really ought to consider whether or not you would be happy about it.
One of our neighbours, a very "respectable" and quite prim and proper lady, regularly posed nude as an artists' model for over fifty years right in... (read in full...)
Sex - What on earth does a girl do on top?
Q. I am 32 and this has bothered me ever since I first had sex at 17. What on earth do i do on top??? When i build up the courage to try it, i get up there and there I am sat on top of my husband thinking what the heck do I do now!!! And I want to ...
A. 1 May 2008: Ah.... on top... best place to be. Well, it's my favourite!
First and foremost, being on top lets you concentrate on your own pleasure - which is usually a great turn-on for him too. Be a wild woman! Pressing down onto the hard bone just abo... (read in full...)
It's the same old routine every time. I need more foreplay.
Q. Whenever i have sex with my bf its always the same routine. i toss him off he fingers me i give him head FOR ages! then he jumps on me and we have sex. And ive tried everything i can but i just cant come straight out with it, i just cant ...
A. 1 May 2008: This is so difficult if you find it hard to talk to him about it. As Tisha said, you need to break up the routine so it's different.
I suppose it's out of the question to suggest you tie him to the bed and tell him he's not going to get it until... (read in full...)
My weight is really starting to bother me!
Q. My weight is really starting to bother me, it never has before I'm 5"3 and I weigh 8stone 6/7 pounds. I normally weigh about 8stone 3/4 but as you can see I've only put on a couple of pounds, mostly over Easter when I wasn't exercising regularly. ...
A. 1 May 2008: No one should be talking about you going on a diet unless you are really seriously overweight - and you're not. Quite apart from the risk of anorexia from needless dieting, you run a serious risk of other nasties like gallstones. I know I go on ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but I don't know how to do it.
Q. i work at a pizzaria, and there is this girl who comes in alot to get pizza, well i would love to ask her out or get her number, but shes only in the store for about 2 minutes, and everyone is around so they would definatly hear me ask her out, ...
A. 1 May 2008: What about a note saying nothing more than "You're the most beautiful girl who comes in here" - no name, no phone number. Arouse her interest. Take your time. Be a bit different from anyone else who has ever asked her out.
Then, maybe, next tim... (read in full...)
He's gone grey and I'm embarrassed. How do I talk to him about it?
Q. this may seem a bit like a dumb question but my boyfriend is gray/white at 30 and i'm finding it really a turn off and a bit embarrassing- how can i talk to him about it? because i think he needs to do something. I don't think i'm being unreasonab...
A. 1 May 2008: My partner has lots of grey in his hair, and it hasn't changed much since his mid-twenties just before I met him when it went like that. I think it looks rather distinguished (or is that "extinguished"?)
Seriously, I don't think too many people t... (read in full...)
Do I have a butt fetish here? Anyone else? Does it make me a pervet?
Q. Ladies, do you like it when a guy kisses and licks your butt cheeks? Does it make you sexually aroused? The reason I ask is I love doing this for a woman. I think a woman's butt is the sexiest part of her body, so when I see a woman's bare butt, I ...
A. 1 May 2008: Is there a name for a fetish where you like EVERYTHING? If so, Uncle Phil as got it. Great!!
But to come back to the question, I don't think it even classifies as a "fetish". Fine. No problem. Wonderful. Perfectly acceptable. In fact it'... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend an expert liar, or worse?
Q. I am confused as to what to do with my boyfriend. He genuinelly acts like he cares about me and that he loves me. He says that every one is always saying that they love someone but they don't mean it, but when he says it he means it. He is marr...
A. 30 April 2008: I would be very, very nervous about him and his motives.
He's been through the mill - by which I mean he is equally at home on either side of the law and is undoubtedly experienced at manipulating people. Just his phrases that you quote should t... (read in full...)
My husband will not stop looking at porn. How can I make him understand?
Q. My husband will not stop looking at porn. i have asked him to stop but he does it behind my back. when i catch him he turns the argument around on me. i am a heavy woman and i am trying to lose weight. it hurts me because i believe he thinks i am ...
A. 30 April 2008: Just because he looks at porn it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he doesn't find you attractive.
It makes you feel that he wants something different - something he can see in the porn and can't see in you, and that feels like he is being... (read in full...)
I've been developing some strange sexual fetishes. Will this affect my relationships?
Q. Hi, I am a 24 year old male from England. I am quite a good looking lad and don't really have any problem getting the girls, the only problem is I am confused as to what turns me on at the moment and it is the wrong sort of girls i attract. Si...
A. 30 April 2008: It's fine. It's not an unusual "fetish", but it most definitely is a fetish. That's not to say that it's bad, it's just not something everyone finds interesting - and there will be some people who find it decidedly unpleasant. Lots of people, far ... (read in full...)
How long does it take a girl to climax through fingering?
Q. Hi, im quite young and still a virgin. I recently got a new girlfriend which i love very much but she is very shy and has not done much with any other boy except me. She is quite shy, and i have dry fingered her (over her pants), but she doesnt f...
A. 30 April 2008: In answer to your question, everyone is different. Also, you will get better at touching her in the way she needs to be touched as you learn about her body and how it reacts. We aren't all the same and don't all react in the same way.
If sh... (read in full...)
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