A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and he's 20 and we met online. Before you say I'm a naive stupid teenager I've thought this through oh too many times. It turns out we actually live very close (like same town close). I know he wasn't lying about where he lived because I asked him first and there's no way he could've known where I lived before that. So anyway, we've messaged, had video chats, I've seen pictures that are clearly him from the video chats, and obviously heard his voice too. I know it's definitely him. We've been talking about meeting up, and I've made it very clear that meeting up means meeting up and not hooking up. He says ok. Just to clarify I'd meet him at a mutual location near the both of us but not close enough for him to know where I lived or anything. Public of course. Personally I don't see anything wrong with the fact that he is 20, I've seen much larger age gaps. I'm mature for my age (and I'm not just saying that) and the guys my age simply lack that maturity. Would it be so wrong to just meet with him in a mutual public location in the day time?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 November 2015):
 You've asking us because you haven't told your parents about him. Does that mean you know you are on thin ice there?
During one of the video chats, I'd say "hang on brb," go get your mom and bring her into the room and introduce her to him.
If you can't do that then you need to wait until you can. Only after you've introduced him to your parents via video chat should you even think about meeting up with him in person.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (16 November 2015):
I don't know this fellow's motivations but I'll give you my $0.02 assuming he is decent.
If you do meet him, perhaps do so at a shopping center or some other highly public place. Go with a friend, and tell him that you are meeting that friend at the center at a set time (say, an hour after you are to meet with him). Your friend can hang out at the center and keep on eye on you while you two talk. At the set time, say goodbye and go meet your friend at a specific store. After you leave that store, keep your eye out for him in case he is following you. If he his, head for the center's security or business office.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (16 November 2015):
 honeypie: has giving you some very good advice for your safety and well being. as you know people can pretend to be one thing on a computer and be off color in life. it would be wise to meet in a public place in a good part of town. more so let someone a parent know your intentions were and when you will be meeting him,a time you will be back home, give them his name. "personally i don't see anything wrong with the fact that he is 20" i met my wife when i was 20, and my wife was 16. so to say i don't see anything wrong with the age gap either. but you need to look beyond the age and look at his maturity . more so look at his character how he treats you , your parents, his parents, people in public. take it slow getting to know him, and seeing each other for who you really are.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 November 2015):
 I think you should ask your mom and dad what they think.
You may BE a mature 16 year old, he MAY be an immature 20 year old. So you may (the two of you) be on the same maturity level, but that doesn't mean you understand his motivations for trying to date/meet up with a 16 year old girl.
And if you DO go to met him, have someone DROP you off, and then have them pick you up too, like the library, coffeehouse, cafe. Make it a "shirt" date - like an hour or so. DON'T go anywhere with him. DON'T accept an offer to drive you home, go home with him or go for a walk. Basically DON'T go anywhere with him. Meeting up... is one thing. Going places with him? Not smart. If you feel he is being honest and himself, maybe meet him again, IN a public place.
You don't know him from Adam. You can't verify that what he has told you is the truth.
And yes, if he is just a little computer savvy he could have found out where you live. People have no idea how easy that is with just a little snooping online. People (specially "you young folks") post WAY to much info online without batting an eyelash, thinking it's safe.
I'm speak as a mom here - I have a 15 (and a half) year old daughter, and honestly I would not be all that keen on a 20 year old sniffing around. 4 years age difference might not SEEM like a big gap, but at your age it CAN be.
Be smart. Talk to you parents. If you feel you can't do that.. then should you even be talking to him online?
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