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I'm angry that my partner returned the iPhone he found to its owner

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2015) 17 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

What would you do if you found a I phone?

My partner found one by his car and it belonged to a woman because it had a case with flowers on to protect it and a photo of her and her fella.

My partner said to see if she rang for her phone and if she did he would return it if she didnt he said, see what happens, i told him he should of left it were he found it if he didnt want to keep it.

He kepted checking the phone to see why she hadnt rang for it. If she hadnt i was thinking i would keep it myself. Eventually she rang, well her fella did and arranged to get the phone as we were staying in a hotel for the night and he would meet my partner downstairs at the hotel. They had gone the cinema and only realise when they came out she had lost it.

My partner seemed really happy that they got intouch and you think it was his phone that had been lost. this caused me to argue about him giving it back because i said not everyone is nice in this world and if it was my phone or his i bet no one would return it to us and they would keep it and i said he shouldn't be so nice and to get hard.

I dont know if my partner was happy that they got in touch about the phone because he was hoping to see the girl who it belonged to because she was pretty and thinking he was her knight in shining armour and it did annoy me his behaviour.

So what should of been a nice night away in a hotel turned into a horrible night all because he found the phone and we both have different opinions about what should of been done with it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

If you ever lose your own Iphone, come back here and re-read your question whilst you're waiting (hoping) to see if whoever finds it is nice enough to return it to you...?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

If I was your boyfriend and at any time in the future I noticed that you'd forgotten / left your phone at mine, I'd be half inclined to play a practical joke on you and pretend to you that I'd sold it on ebay just to see if you could defend your attitude if the boot was on the other foot!

Tell me, would you congratulate him for doing that if it were YOUR phone? -Or be ANGRY at him if instead he returned it to you??

I cannot fathom to comprehend how you defend your stand point?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 November 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI so agree with everyone else here. doing nice things for strangers is just NICE.

and IMO the Karma bus is a slow moving bus that when you drive it is a nice ride and when it runs you over hurts badly.

Why in the world are you so insecure as to think this was about him wanting to see a pretty girl. What if the phone belonged to a man... would it make a difference?

sadly YOU are the one who RUINED the night at a hotel not your kind boyfriend.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2015):

Denizen agony auntI think all the answers here have just given you a reality check. Don't be mean spirited. It doesn't pay in the end. It may be true that life makes each of us the way we are. I'm sorry if life has dealt you some bad hands.

There are a lot of good people out there and you won't have to look far to find them. In fact you seem to be going out with one. :-)

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (30 November 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntWhat would I do if I found an I phone?

I would do as your boyfriend did, try and return it, or hand in to nearest police station. Your boyfriend is an honest man, I believe most people are honest and would try and return it.

If I had lost my phone I would hope the person finding it was honest and not like you ......... be happy there are decent people still in this world and your boyfriend is one of them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

I'm sorry you don't sound like a very nice person :/ I've lost my phone before and the person who found it went out of their way to get it back to me. They rang my mother who was the first text in my inbox and then drove to my mothers house to give it her.

I've lost my purse in a shop before and the person who found it gave it to one of the cashiers with all of my money in it. I've also gone to a self service checkout in the past and somebody had left £10 behind and I handed it back in.

The majority of people I know do just what your boyfriend did. I would do it and if my boyfriend found something I'd be ashamed of him if he kept it.

If you think he wanted to give it back in order to flirt then you seem like an EXTREMELY jealous person. Sorry for sounding harsh but I'm really confused why him doing something nice would cause an argument and I hope if you ever find something in the future you don't just feel entitled to keep it.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 November 2015):

CindyCares agony auntYou can't be serious, can you ?.....

Not all people are nice, true, but it's also true that not all people are avid,entitled and dishonest either .

In fact, most people would have done just what your bf did , or else brought the Iphone to a police station or the city lost-and-found office .

Actually, some guys would have given back the lost item to its owner AND also ditched you in the process , disgusted by your grasping attitude. So, all in all you cannot complain.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

Oh no you need an emotional overhaul because it is clearly way overdue.

All of your reactions have come from the school of hard knocks and you are just plain used to rejection.

I like your fella for returning the phone,bless him...I would return it too.

It saves the phone owner so much stress about personal numbers and details and photos being lost in that great abyss of unknown stuff made public,so yes of course he was her knight in shining armour for all of two minutes of phone-handover time.

The non skool of knocks reaction would to be happy and proud of having this wonderful boyfriend, a mini hero in a macro world..and for you to tell him how happy you are to have found a decent man out of a world of skanking ratsasses.

But I am also touched by your honesty of how you would have liked to keep the phone for yourself and how such a small thing became such a big issue and ruined the weekend.

You may find you are not a good match for each other.

You might be looking for a bonnie and Clyde kind of us-against the world type thing.

The skool of hard knocks tends to leave its marks and some are painfully visible.

You probably would prefer to go in a blaze of flames while he is thinking it would be nice to just snuggle under the duvet quietly.

In real life pretty women don't actually link with nice men and hotel managers don't help out smart sassy prostitutes..no,they throw them out,back on their familiar asses where no one gives a damn.

So if you are going to earbash him and cause drama over a bleeding I phone and ruin a good weekend I think you will be back on your pretty ass wondering why it was such a disaster.

The problem is that you are like two different metals that can mix and match but never have the durability that you would alone.

Your strengths are hidden behind a mask of different experiences and you aren't even having fun together because of it.

Its not a crime to come from the skool of hard knocks..its just an injustice because different rules apply .

Naughty but nice should be your new nickname for a week.

Sorry to drop it on you like that..but in the eyes of d good lord your views count too..and you are just as valuable a person as the next.

I am sure your value is more than a million iPads or I phones.

You have real human value and will make a great person.

You just got a bit redeyed too quick.

He isn't after phone girl..that's also pretty woman type hype!

But he probably is having a rethink because you embarrassed him about your lack of phone returning etiquette.

But in your defence may I say that I was very glad to get to the end and found out that it wasn't one of those stories where the smiling phone returnee didn't get the crap beat out of him,his mobile and car keys nicked along with the motor that was found two days later abondened in another state with blood on the dashboard and a gun slipped down d back of d seat and him turning up in a wheel chair with total amnesia and a surprised and expectant "he survived" crew standing nearby blaming you for it all.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

Oh no you need an emotional overhaul because it is clearly way overdue.

All of your reactions have come from the school of hard knocks and you are just plain used to rejection.

I like your fella for returning the phone,bless him...I would return it too.

It saves the phone owner so much stress about personal numbers and details and photos being lost in that great abyss of unknown stuff made public,so yes of course he was her knight in shining armour for all of two minutes of phone-handover time.

The non skool of knocks reaction would to be happy and proud of having this wonderful boyfriend, a mini hero in a macro world..and for you to tell him how happy you are to have found a decent man out of a world of skanking ratsasses.

But I am also touched by your honesty of how you would have liked to keep the phone for yourself and how such a small thing became such a big issue and ruined the weekend.

You may find you are not a good match for each other.

You might be looking for a bonnie and Clyde kind of us-against the world type thing.

The skool of hard knocks tends to leave its marks and some are painfully visible.

You probably would prefer to go in a blaze of flames while he is thinking it would be nice to just snuggle under the duvet quietly.

In real life pretty women don't actually link with nice men and hotel managers don't help out smart sassy prostitutes..no,they throw them out,back on their familiar asses where no one gives a damn.

So if you are going to earbash him and cause drama over a bleeding I phone and ruin a good weekend I think you will be back on your pretty ass wondering why it was such a disaster.

The problem is that you are like two different metals that can mix and match but never have the durability that you would alone.

Your strengths are hidden behind a mask of different experiences and you aren't even having fun together because of it.

Its not a crime to come from the skool of hard knocks..its just an injustice because different rules apply .

Naughty but nice should be your new nickname for a week.

Sorry to drop it on you like that..but in the eyes of d good lord your views count too..and you are just as valuable a person as the next.

I am sure your value is more than a million iPads or I phones.

You have real human value and will make a great person.

You just got a bit redeyed too quick.

He isn't after phone girl..that's also pretty woman type hype!

But he probably is having a rethink because you embarrassed him about your lack of phone returning etiquette.

But in your defence may I say that I was very glad to get to the end and found out that it wasn't one of those stories where the smiling phone returnee didn't get the crap beat out of him,his mobile and car keys nicked along with the motor that was found two days later abondened in another state with blood on the dashboard and a gun slipped down d back of d seat and him turning up in a wheel chair with total amnesia and a surprised and expectant "he survived" crew standing nearby blaming you for it all.

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A female reader, Dawnielou United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2015):

Giving the phone back was the right thing to do without question.

I certainly would if I were in that situation and I know many people who would too. I would also be chuffed to bits if someone did that for me as well.

Sorry but your thinking he only gave it back to flirt with this pretty girl makes it sound as though there are serious trust issues elsewhere in the relationship. Be glad you are with someone who is honest.

Also if you keep saying to him he shouldn't have returned it he may well wonder about your lack of honesty and doing the right thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

He felt happy to give the phone back because IT FEELS GOOD to do nice things for other people. Try it out sometime.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (30 November 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntSorry but see it through different eyes.Yes you are correct, not all people are willing to do the right thing by others but the thing is you are with a person that does, be grateful that your partner is of character that restores my faith in humanity. People with a finders keep attitude are selfish because what they see as gain could very well be something of huge consequences and stress for the other person. There is so much personal satisfaction in being able to return someones phone that may hold pictures of a deceased child, parent,partner or pet, been given as a gift, hold confidential work information, proof of harassment in domestic cases, banking details and the list goes on. This is about doing whats right so I don't get the Knight in shining amour rationale it kinda make you sound a bit well...crazy

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (30 November 2015):

mystiquek agony auntCall me innocent or too trusting, but I believe the majority of people would return the phone to the rightful owner. Both my son and I have accidentally left our iphone at a public place and both times they were returned. I was so greatful, I offered the person money for returing it! Most people have a good chunk of their lives in phones now days and its devastating from both a personal and a financial view to lose an iphone!

I've also returned lost wallets, purses, and yes even phones and its rewarding enough just to see how happy the person is to get the phone back.

I'm sorry you feel the way that you do..

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 November 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntI would do my best to make sure it was returned to the owner.

If you think your partner would use returning an iPhone to its rightful owner as a way to flirt with that owner then you have a lethal relationship killing trust problem.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 November 2015):

Honeypie agony auntGiving it back is the RIGHT thing to do. He cold have turned it in to the nearest store or police dept, but he chose a good way to do it in waiting on her to call it.

I'm not really sure why you think he did the wrong thing.

WHAT is so wrong in helping out someone get their phone back? Don't you have a LOAD of crap/private things on YOUR phone that you would like it returned?

Your BE is a nice person. It's nice to know that there ARE some of those people out there who aren't just selfish.

Who cares what the chick who owns it looks like?

*mind-boggled* at your attitude.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (30 November 2015):

MSA agony auntI think it's great that your partner returned the phone. It is the right thing to do. I understand that there are many people out there who would've kept the phone for their own use, but it's wrong. You know it's wrong, they know it's wrong. Everyday you will look at that phone and know you took it from someone. How will that make you feel? I think you should be proud of your partner and admire him for his honesty and integrity.

Last year, while out celebrating my boyfriend's birthday with him, I dropped and lost my iphone too. I was devastated. It wasn't the actual iphone that I wanted back, rather all the precious photos we took that will forever be lost. I imessaged myself pleading with the person who found the phone to please return it. I offered a monetary reward or they can even keep my phone, I just wanted the photos back. We didn't hear back until weeks later when a lady contacted my boyfriend (we left his number to call) and she mailed my phone back to him. I was soooo happy to have those photos back.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015):

I am sorry but I think you are so wrong in many areas here.

Many people would actually return someones property.

I returned many times found wallets with money in it, credit cards and other things.

I was also very happy to see that a person who lost items got his things back. We would not survive as a human race if we were against each other and stole, rubbed and killed each other.

I think you have quite a wild imagination to think that your boyfriend would for some reason seek attention of a stranger that he never saw in his life.

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