| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello and thank youMy husband was very charming, and loving before we got married. After our marriage things changed. It seems he doesn't like compromising and feels he can still act single. He talks to exes( no children involved) he goes to the bars. Hes argumentative and puts me down. Calls me brainless, stupid, idiot. The newest insult was old woman. I have never disrespected him. He has a quick temper and if I try to tell him my feelings he doesnt listen. He acts very superior. If I have something that bothers me he tells me not to bring it to him. I ask him who I am supposed to bring it to when the issue om having is with him ? It's very hard to communicate with him when I feel dismissed. When he argues he tells me I give him a headache, I'm problematic. I dont understand how he can continually blame me for having feelings and wanting to discuss things that bother me. He also brings in my race. I'm white, hes black. He tells me he would never tolerate this from a black woman but he tolerates it from a white woman because he understands whites are stupid. Things like this really hurt. He doesn't apologize for this behavior either. Any advice would be appreciated
View related questions:
puts me down Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SadMan76  +, writes (14 August 2019):
People will always try to push you as far as you will go. Only you decide where your line is.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (2 August 2019):
 Your husband is saying it as it is. You ARE brainless, stupid and an idiot - for putting up with being treated in this way. He thinks he can treat you any way he wishes and you will just put up with it, because that is what you have done so far.
He basically lured you in with an act. Then, once he had you hooked, he knew he no longer had to try.
Time to prove him wrong, sister. What are you waiting for? Show him you are not as stupid and brainless as he assumes.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 August 2019):
 And for what reason are you staying?
Is advice really necessary here?
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (1 August 2019):
 I think I would let your "frog" hop hop hop away...and in the future be more careful of what frogs you kiss hoping they will turn into princes. This man is disrespectful and uses you and will continue to belittle you as long as you allow him to do so. Sometimes we just have to know when to throw in the towel, OP. Throw it in and then throw it away. You'll be happier!
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (1 August 2019):
 This reminds me of the famous line from the Musical, Into the Woods.
"I was raised to be 'charming', not faithful."
Charming is not the best Prince.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2019): Yes wise owl I'm a legitimate poster. I can post issues I'm having here freely.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 August 2019):
 Is this your Nigerian husband who is draining your back accounts and continues to insult and belittle you? You’ve written about him before.
He’s not going to change, you can’t change him, he’s not actually Prince Charming, he’s a bait and switch con artist who is trying to verbally abuse you into being his cash cow.
Divorce is really your only option.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2019): I sense some race-baiting here; and will assume (with some high-suspicion) you're a legitimate poster.
If all this is happening, how much are you going to take?
Get a divorce!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 August 2019):
 Time for divorce, OP
He isn't going to change. He was NEVER a "Prince Charming" he just played a role to reel you in. What you see NOW is who he is. His "authentic" self.
You can either continue with this despicable man or decide that YOU deserve better.
This isn't about race as much as it's about DISRESPECT, LACK of love, support and compassion.
What is there left here for you to stay for?
You STILL have your whole rest of your life ahead of you, would you CHOSE to spend it with someone who seems to resent you and think you inferior?
...............................
|
