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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Thanks for your advice My husband does things that I find someone concerning. He is from Africa and he spends large amounts of money on prayer and eats food with God only knows what is in it. When I tell him to pray without giving these people money he gets offended. He has been doing this more lately. His mom calls and says he needs to get prayers because she sees bad things happening to him. So he runs out gives a bunch of money to a prophet (apparently)and says he has to be careful because of voodoo. Where I come from this sounds like scams (sorry to offend anyone) but I dont think you have to give large amounts of money to someone and eat weird food to get saved! Am I over reacting ? How do i discuss this without further offending him ?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (13 October 2019):
 Where about in Africa is he from? I'm from South Africa and this is super odd to me. I know loads of central and northern African countries have these so called 'prophets' that scam people out of their hard earned money. There are even some mega churches that do that on an even grander scale. That's odd. I agree with Tisha-1 that there is no way to bring this across without offending him. I'm Christian and believe in the Trinity (Father, son and Holy spirit). I don't believe that what's happening here is of proper Christian practice. I'm not judging, I'm just saying. Of all the denominations I have come into contact with, the stuff that you describe doesn't fit the description of either one. I'm just saying that I'm a believer and know loads of other people who also believe in their own way but I haven't heard something so odd.
To him though, he wholeheartedly believes what he has been raised to believe. You must understand that just as you have your set of values, he has his own (although peculiar) set of values. So telling him that what he knows seems dodgy will definitely upset him. He seems pretty attached to his mom too so it will upset her too. Who knows how far it will spiral? I think he's being led by false prophets and that's very dangerous that he has no doubt in his mind whatsoever about it. He will be willing to give any and everything to this cause. That's the dangerous part. If it were a genuine situation, devotion would be a good thing. Since it's so strange, it could end up being a major problem in both of your lives.
What you describe isn't Christianity.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2019): It's definitely a scam, and many scam-artists pose as evangelist to bilk money out of people promising to break spells, exorcise demons, and deflect witchcraft.
IT'S ALL FAKE! Your husband is foolish and wasting his/your money. No one is offended by this but the devil himself!
The problem is voodoo and shamanism is deeply rooted in the African-culture; and getting some people to believe in true Christianity void of mixing "divination" and other forms of spiritualism is almost impossible. They have to find true deliverance through Jesus Christ.
You might have to find yourself a real minister of the gospel; who has to explain to your husband that money can't buy deliverance, or divine protection. Food has nothing to do with anything. That's ritualism and all part of the voodoo culture.
He has been brainwashed and conditioned all his life. His fear is being used against him. His mother is the culprit behind this foolishness; and unfortunately, she may have more influence over him than you do.
Why be afraid of offending him when he's throwing away his hard-earned money behind garbage? The fact money is involved is all the evidence you need to see that this has nothing to do with God. You have to get someone who is a leader in a true church to minister to your husband; because his mother may be a practitioner of dark-arts and exploiting his fears.
It's not unusual for parents and relatives to practice their spiritualism and divination on their own children and family. It's how they manipulate and control them.
You don't indicate what country you're from; or if you're residing in Africa. If this was an online-romance you found on the internet; you're probably in the middle of a scam. They are common in Nigeria, Sierra Leone, Lome, and other places throughout the continent. They marry you, and they're all set. Divorce and deportation is your best remedy.
When you can't reason with people, you have to be prepared to take drastic-measures. You don't want to "offend" him??? Then it is unlikely offering you our advice will be very effective; until you reach a point you can't take it anymore. Like going broke!
If you don't share the same faith; then take action for your own protection. May God be with you!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (25 July 2019):
 I don't really understand his religious beliefs, and we have no Idea what you believe (if you are a believer.
Money and special diets are all ove judeo-christian beliefs. Abraham gave 1/10 th of his substantial fortune to the high priest Melchizedek. As an example.
To me the religious observations you describe don't seem all that unusual.
Belief is usually hard for non-believers to accept. Where are you on this?
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (25 July 2019):
 Hi op,
There was a news report recently about African so called churches scamming people out of money like crazy.
First of all...What does GOD need your money for???
Your husband had been brain washed into being a stupid follower. GOD does not do stupid.
The only way to get to GOD is through faith in his son...NOT by believing in so called Earthly Prophets.
No human can see the future...so how can his mother see the bad things happening to him?? Is it really his other asking for the money??
You cannot believe in GOD and believe in Voodoo. If GOD is the protector of all evil, what does he need Voodoo for??
You cannot worship GOD and evil at the same time. Because GOD hate evil, and Evil hates GOD.
Your husband obviously does not read the Bible, and if he does, he has zero understanding of it.
Show your husband these...
Jeremiah 23:16
The Lord Almighty said to the people of Jerusalem, “Do not listen to what the prophets say; they are filling you with false hopes. They tell you what they have imagined and not what I have said.
Ezekiel 22:28
The prophets have hidden these sins like workers covering a wall with whitewash. They see false visions and make false predictions. They claim to speak the word of the Sovereign Lord, but I, the Lord, have not spoken to them.
Matthew 24:24
For false Messiahs and false prophets will appear; they will perform great miracles and wonders in order to deceive even God's chosen people, if possible.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 July 2019):
 You are afraid of offending him, but is he equally afraid of offending you? Or is this a cultural impasse that needs outside mediation?
Why did you marry him? Did you work through the cultural differences first or are were you convinced by him that all would be solved by love?
I think I’ve seem several posts by you about this intercultural long-distance marriage. I think you are trying to manage the symptoms of a major mid-match, rather than doing the surgery needed to cut the ties that bind you to a needy, angry, insulting individual who does not view you as an equal partner in life.
There is no way to discuss something without offending him if he’s decided he’s going to be offended no matter what you say.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 July 2019):
 I don't think you really can (explain your point of view without offending him and his beliefs).
You two have different belief systems.
Does it sound like a scam to those who don't believe in voodoo? Yes. For those who DO, however, it's part of their faith and belief system.
Spending all this money on payers does it affect your day to day lives? Your finances, your saving?
If so, maybe that is a better approach to take? To talk about how these costs for prayers means you can't pay rent or afford insurance (or whatever).
Did you not know about your husband's belief system BEFORE you married? If so, why not? And if you did, did you think marrying you would mean his whole faith and belief system would or should change?
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A
female
reader, KeW  +, writes (25 July 2019):
 Hello OP,
To each their own with beliefs - many people do good things for others with or without religion and without much money, whereas other religious leaders are millionaires and still ask for donations.
If it’s his money, leave him to it, unless it interferes with him paying his share of your joint expenses. If your finances are in a joint account, you need to separate your finances immediately.
What does he think he needs to be “saved” from?
Was this extreme belief system present when you married him? If so, did you not wonder if you were compatible with such different ideas of faith?
Best of luck!
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