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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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He ghosted and came back... what now?
Q. I posted a couple weeks ago. I dated someone for three months. The first two months were great. He was affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I) and reached out daily. We met 1-2x a week. However everything changed last month and I ...
A. 5 July 2016: Oh, just delete and block him and delete all his friends. You're 30-35, you don't need to succumb to peer pressure any longer!
I think I replied to your first post on this guy, where I suggested you give him more time. You have, he's not inte... (read in full...)
Freedom to interact with others curtailed due to family rules. Why can't people leave things alone?
Q. Every social media I get is ruined for me! I used to be on live journal a long time ago, when I was 16. i tried to use it when no one was looking but when my dad backdated the computer, he saw it and browsed but only came up with my username. I...
A. 5 July 2016: So move back into the apartment that is legally yours to live in, kick out the freeloaders and get a responsible roommate or two.
It's amazing you found a company that would rent to you under the age of 21, I think many places prefer older tena... (read in full...)
Freedom to interact with others curtailed due to family rules. Why can't people leave things alone?
Q. Every social media I get is ruined for me! I used to be on live journal a long time ago, when I was 16. i tried to use it when no one was looking but when my dad backdated the computer, he saw it and browsed but only came up with my username. I...
A. 5 July 2016: So move back into the apartment that is legally yours to live in, kick out the freeloaders and get a responsible roommate or two.
It's amazing you found a company that would rent to you under the age of 21, I think many places prefer older tena... (read in full...)
How long do I give him to decide?
Q. Hi , I decided to bite the bullet and ask my friend out , there is some chemistry between us and he has told me he does like me in that way . he said he would think about it . How long would you give someone to think ? i dont expect him to get back ...
A. 5 July 2016: I did the same thing you did, almost 25 years ago. Now I'm only a few months from a 20+ wedding anniversary.
If you know him well then give him the time he will need to decide if he wants to embark on a life-changing date. If you really don't unde... (read in full...)
All I've met is harsh judgement. But I need advice and some support on what to do in my situation. Help, please?
Q. OK first of all please don't judge me on this but I got with my boyfriend while he was still married, he is now separated from his wife and with me. I guess he had fell out of love by the time he met me. There is 20 years difference between ...
A. 5 July 2016: I'll provide links as a start. Please contact the organization in your country; if that country isn't on the list then let us know which country you are in!
https://www.womensaid.org.uk
http://www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk
http://ww... (read in full...)
All I've met is harsh judgement. But I need advice and some support on what to do in my situation. Help, please?
Q. OK first of all please don't judge me on this but I got with my boyfriend while he was still married, he is now separated from his wife and with me. I guess he had fell out of love by the time he met me. There is 20 years difference between ...
A. 5 July 2016: What country are you in? So at the very least we can guide you toward the women's' aid organizations that help women who are being isolated, controlled and abused. Because that is what is happening here. If you are feeling this scared, isolated and ... (read in full...)
What kind of man is he? And what kind of relationship can I expect with him?
Q. Hello I have been chatting with a man I met on a business website we have been chating for 20 days, from the first few days when he added me on Facebook he said that he liked me but he felt he was too old for me which is 20 year difference, but I ...
A. 5 July 2016: Why are you sending arousing love notes to a man you met 20 days ago on a business website?... (read in full...)
Another guy has spoilt our friendship
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and I'm concerned that she isn't into me anymore like she used to be. We used to talk, have a laugh and things seem to have changed. A man who I'm not friends with anymore and who I'm not keen on is now friends ...
A. 1 July 2016: I'm going to assume that the no and no answer is in response to my questions. So you don't need a reminder about workplace friendships and you are not on the autism spectrum, so that means that you are completely able to understand that what you're ... (read in full...)
Another guy has spoilt our friendship
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and I'm concerned that she isn't into me anymore like she used to be. We used to talk, have a laugh and things seem to have changed. A man who I'm not friends with anymore and who I'm not keen on is now friends ...
A. 30 June 2016: OP, are you on the Autism spectrum? I ask because the construct of the question suggests that you aren't familiar with some commonplace social norms.
Do you need the specific explanation about workplace friendships?... (read in full...)
Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?
Q. Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...
A. 26 June 2016: Lots of answers on the same question 2 years ago: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-women-at-night-clubs-dress-provocatively.html
... (read in full...)
Is it Okay to ghost in this situation? I feel that he's lost interest in me.
Q. I've been dating someone for three months now. The first two months were great, he was very affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I). He reached out daily and I reciprocated. We met twice a week. However this month he's been busy w...
A. 25 June 2016: If you are ready to end the relationship after 4 days of “contact” then by all means, do so.
Edit:
“no contact”
... (read in full...)
Will a man in a sexless, long term marriage eventually have sex with another woman?
Q. I have a question and I am curious about what the opinions are out there. If a man is in a long term relationship or marriage and his wife was no longer willing to have sex (ie. she never did like it to begin with, she no longer likes it) with h...
A. 25 June 2016: "I have an issue with how much you would really love your spouse if you went out and had sex with someone else. I am old school I guess. I can’t see love existing in such cases.”
Ah, well, it’s a good thing you aren’t having an affair with a marr... (read in full...)
Is it Okay to ghost in this situation? I feel that he's lost interest in me.
Q. I've been dating someone for three months now. The first two months were great, he was very affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I). He reached out daily and I reciprocated. We met twice a week. However this month he's been busy w...
A. 25 June 2016: At three months, you are still in the early stages of dating.
From some of the words you use in your post, a lot of what has been happening between you is online.
“He planned thoughtful dates.” That seems nice unless he’s just working off a “thoug... (read in full...)
Will a man in a sexless, long term marriage eventually have sex with another woman?
Q. I have a question and I am curious about what the opinions are out there. If a man is in a long term relationship or marriage and his wife was no longer willing to have sex (ie. she never did like it to begin with, she no longer likes it) with h...
A. 24 June 2016: "If a man [shouldn’t you use “husband” just as a matter of form?] is in a long term relationship or marriage and his wife was no longer willing to have sex (ie. she never did like it to begin with, she no longer likes it) with him OR she was unable ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!
Q. I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...
A. 24 June 2016: If you look around for fat fetish sites, you’ll see that guys with a fat fetish are well, rather common. It’s not new territory at all.
That being said, if you look around for men who put their beloved’s health and well-being ahead of their peni... (read in full...)
Can they really expect more hours without overtime pay?
Q. Hello, I moved to the US few months ago and I'm working in financie field and have an exempt full time position. I was hired for 40 hours work per week but my supervisor stating that we all must put some extra hours every week. I do come early ...
A. 20 June 2016: Read your employment contract. I found you a link which could help you determine your rights in your specific state and situation.
https://www.dol.gov/whd/america2.htm
... (read in full...)
Why is she watching porn instead of having sex with me?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3 years now and we're both still young..(19 and 20) too young in my opinion to lose interest in sex with one another but now it only happens like every other month or so. She lies about watching porn but her ...
A. 17 June 2016: You’ve been together for 3 years, which does sound significant; however, this means you chose her when you were 16 years old... and perhaps not the best judge of how to choose a lifetime partner. Yes, some people do stay with their teenage ... (read in full...)
Discouraged from reaching out. How can I tell if my entrepreneur man is still interested?
Q. I wanted to repost with better details. I’ve been dating a successful entrepreneur, early 30s, for about 2.5 months. He’s been traveling about half the time we’ve been together. During the first half of dating (traveling or not), he was very ...
A. 17 June 2016: Translation help from an old lady.
During the first half of dating (traveling or not), he was very affectionate
= he was trying to put his best foot forward
and chatty. During the first two weeks we hung out the two entire weekends (which ... (read in full...)
Crush on shy girl at work. Should I issue invitations to attend my birthday and include her?
Q. Next year will be my birthday. I've made friends at work and won people over, when I first started working at a factory where I live I didn't think I would. As at school I was completely friendless and had no one I could rely on. Does this soun...
A. 17 June 2016: Why wait a year until your birthday? Find something else to celebrate in July, or tell people you are throwing a party “just because.”
I’m guessing you have something going on, like social anxiety or possibly Aspergers, that is keeping you from maki... (read in full...)
He says he's not attracted to her but only one quality of hers; should I be worried?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend has been drifting emotionally because the thrill of the chase is gone for him. I then found out that to compensate for the thrill being gone, he had started being attracted to someone else (someone he hasn't ...
A. 11 June 2016: If your boyfriend can't sustain a mutually fulfilling relationship as a grown up then let him go. Eventually he may wise up on the "chase" thing but there is no reason you should stick around hoping for his "enlightenment."
Life is far too shor... (read in full...)
I like my ex-best friend's ex!
Q. There's this guy I like. Him and one of my best friends used to go out. He broke up with her because he said it wasn't going well for them in the last 6 months. He told me that during those last 6 months he had developed feelings for me. She cheated ...
A. 11 June 2016: Is it a bad thing? Well, I would apply the reverse IIHTY test. If it happened to you.... Would you be delighted and happy? Would you think it was a good thing or a bad thing?... (read in full...)
Is another woman the cause?
Q. ok so my partner and i are have hit a really bad spot. He left my apartment in a mood with now reason a few days ago i don't even know why the night before we had a really great night and so much fun together then at 6am he was leaving saying he ...
A. 11 June 2016: He's moody, broke up with no reason, has told you he's found someone else...
You chose him to be your partner. Why? How long had you been dating? What were the arguments about?
I personally would be happy to put such a toxic grumpy partner in the r... (read in full...)
How can I get Dad off the phone and talking to me?
Q. My Dad is always on his phone and doesn't listen to me. Whenever he picks up his phone I get really mad but I don't show it. He just makes one phone call after another, he is also always texting. When I have important information to tell him he is ...
A. 11 June 2016: I like suzzzq's idea! I would get a white board or chalk board. When you have important information put it on the board. To double down on the notification process, write a note with what you need to tell him. Note down the date and time and take a ... (read in full...)
Wedding issues. I don't want to over-step any boundaries, but what can I do to help get things started with the planning of these events?
Q. A friend of mine is getting married in November and I was asked to be one of her bridesmaids. Her sister is her maid of honor however her sister seems to be dragging her heels on the planning process for everything. It's almost the middle of Ju...
A. 10 June 2016: Do you talk to the bride often? You must have a direct line to her if you are a bridesmaid. I'd have a casual "catch up" chat with her. "Vanessa, you must be getting excited about the wedding. I'm so happy to be a bridesmaid and I'm so looking ... (read in full...)
Is there a bias to the answers here?
Q. I was wondering why aunts and uncles are more willing to answer questions that are related to below belly button , thresum, Fwb, F buddies, but are less likely to help on some serious questions regarding other issues? Have we gotten some preferences ...
A. 6 June 2016: I think if you look at the threesome & FWB type of question, there are many replies. Why? Because typically the aunts responding are posting many many answers saying "DON'T!"
Serious questions regarding other issues? Sometimes the poster does... (read in full...)
Is my instructor good enough?
Q. I don't know if this is allowed to be discussed on this website but I just wanted other people's opinions. I have had driving lessons for 8 months now, done around 30 hours of driving with my instructor as well as around 30 hours in my own car which ...
A. 6 June 2016: I've had the opportunity to drive in both the US and the UK, I had a very kind male instructor in the UK who taught me the rules of the road in the UK.
Something the US Aunts will not understand is how difficult it is to get a drivers lice... (read in full...)
My introverted daughter is in her 30s and loves animals. She hates her work and hates being single. At 71, what advice can I give her that will help her?
Q. I'm worried about my daughter. Recently she was upset about something and she blurted out that she hated being single. She is in her 30s and a highschool teacher, and she never got married but she always seemed okay with it. Recently, sh...
A. 26 May 2016: A friend of mine changed careers in her 30s, went from business consulting to becoming a veterinarian. Met a guy in her late 30s. Had children via surrogate.
They are doing really well, the children are great, her career is going wonderfully well... (read in full...)
I am about to have sex with my new partner, and don't want to scare him off!
Q. I've been seeing a great guy for some time now and we're about to start having sex. I'm in my late thirties (he's of my age), divorced after 15 years. Almost half of my marriage the sex was... well just going through the motions before becoming...
A. 23 May 2016: Hey, congrats on the new guy! Rather than expecting the worst and planning for that right away, try not to anticipate a negative outcome. Instead, take it one day at a time and be enthusiastic about being with a partner.
Make sure you are clear abou... (read in full...)
Should pull her aside and ask her to refrain from further comments on my body or my weight?
Q. Last year I lost the weight that I gained in winter time. One of my co worker congratulated me and said I look great and not to lose anymore. However, now almost every time I see her she always makes a reference to my weight and tells me that I'm ...
A. 23 May 2016: A few tactics for you to consider:
Write down word for word what she’s said repeatedly on a sheet of paper, put it in an envelope with her name on it and the words “World’s Greatest Psychic” in the return address space.
In another envelope... (read in full...)
What should I do? Is it understandable that I'm hurt that my boyfriend wants to be friends with a woman he cheated with?
Q. Last night my phone was dead and I could not find my charger. So I asked my boyfriend if I could use his phone because I had to call my sister for something important. I'm not the type to snoop but I saw 3 calls in the call log from a woman my...
A. 22 May 2016: There are a lot of questions recently about boyfriends being in touch with their exes. I have compiled a few that should help you decide what to do.
I personally would be done with this particular boyfriend, as he was hiding this “friendship” from... (read in full...)
Do we have a future together? Seems he only texts me when he wants nude pictures of me.
Q. Heya friends.. I've been in a relationship with this person for over 1 year. Over the past few months he's behaving quite rude with me. He texts me only when he wants nudes from me. If at all I refuse to do so, he pleads and begs and will finally...
A. 19 May 2016: *sarcasm font* Gosh, he sounds like a really wonderful boyfriend. *end sarcasm font*
In order to understand him, we need to know more about him and your relationship. How old is he? How did you meet? Tell us about how he treats people when you'... (read in full...)
How should I respond to his hurtful comments during a argument?
Q. Hi, Just wondering if any body has had a partner who would often say hurtful comments during an argument and if so what did you do? My fiance often says things like he doesn't love me, can't see a future with me, doesn't want a child with me...
A. 19 May 2016: "My fiance often says things like he doesn't love me, can't see a future with me, doesn't want a child with me (something he knows i want soon ), that i need to get into the real world, wonders how i cope at work because i am so 'dumb' and plenty ... (read in full...)
Full of doubts about him. Feeling less trusting about him. Am I being too distrustful? Can I trust him?
Q. hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now. i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot. he says i make him happy every time and so on. But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to g...
A. 18 May 2016: Ah, so we have a young teenager keeping really big secrets from her parents. So this guy knows it, no doubt.
I’d say a 20 year old talking online to a 15 year old has a lot to hide from a lot of people, so no, I wouldn’t trust him at all. Not one ... (read in full...)
Full of doubts about him. Feeling less trusting about him. Am I being too distrustful? Can I trust him?
Q. hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now. i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot. he says i make him happy every time and so on. But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to g...
A. 18 May 2016: Do your parents trust him? I’d ask Dad, he’d probably know more about the male mind than anyone! Plus he has the advantage of knowing you.... (read in full...)
Do I lose my virginity to the next girl that comes along or wait for someone I like? Should I pay for it?
Q. Do I lose my virginity to the next girl that comes along or wait for someone I like? Should I pay for it? It makes me feel really bad about myself. I have a lot going on but the fact I've never had intercourse alone makes me feel like less of a ...
A. 18 May 2016: Hi OP, read this great post: http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/05/the-problem-with-male-virginity/
"As with most issues, if we want to change the way that we treat male virgins, especially older ones, then we need to start with ourselves and our ... (read in full...)
I am happy she's happier but what's going on?
Q. I am 6 months in and my girlfriend always has had trouble sleeping, She goes to bed late and has been getting a little better going to bed at 11:00 or 12:00. All of a sudden she started going to bed at 10:00 or 10:30 and she says she's getting nine ...
A. 18 May 2016: How old is your girlfriend? Maybe her parents have restricted use of electronic devices in the evening, so she's able to sleep better. Exercise, eating right, recovering from depression or just recognizing sleep is good for you... she could have ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to screen out women as potential partners due to their past sexual history and how many partners they have had?
Q. I spent a lot of my teens having low self-esteem and have very little dating experience. I had a girlfriend in high school. Still a virgin even though I have done everything else. I used a lot of that time to make sure I have an amazing future and ...
A. 18 May 2016: OP you are stuck in an infinite loop of negativity. "I'm not going to be good at sex because I haven't had it yet! I won't get good at sex until I've had it! Any woman who has had sex will judge me and find me wanting!"
You're overthinking as you'... (read in full...)
Do I try to cancel out the weekend with a friend or ask my boyfriend for money?
Q. Hello, I have this friend I met about a year and a half ago. We're not very close, but we do talk and she invited me to her bachelorette party. The plan was to rent a house for the weekend along the beach and have a girl's weekend. I figur...
A. 13 May 2016: If you’re “not very close” and yet you wound up in the cut of the 10 people invited along to the bachelorette party then she might think you are closer friends than you think you are.
Your boyfriend should not be on the hook for your part of any ... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to meet this older guy and not pass judgement?
Q. I was looking for some insight from some parents on this site, especially of college age kids. I currently live 5 hours away from my home town because I go to school. I work part time at a pub/ eatry. In October I met a really nice older guy who ...
A. 13 May 2016: “How do I get them to not judge his age and just get to know him?”
I would introduce him on Skype or similar video chats.
Here’s the thing: he’s the age he is. He’s 38. There nothing you can do or say to change that.
If you’re this worried abou... (read in full...)
How do I know if my boyfriend fantasized about this other woman when we had sex?
Q. I have what might seem like a weird question. Is it normal for your boyfriend or partner to fantasize about another woman/person while having sex with you? Do people do this sometimes? Or is it just not ever spoken about? I am asking bec...
A. 13 May 2016: Um. Oh dear. You are in your 20s so perhaps this is your first realization that fantasy does play a role in keeping things fresh and fun. How do I phrase this so you don’t freak out.... hm....
So...
Um, yes, it’s perfectly normal for fantasy ... (read in full...)
How will I handle these delicate decisions about inviting and seating guests at our wedding?
Q. I just got engaged yesterday. We had talked about it for a while before hand so I knew it was going to happen... I just didn't know when! Anyhow my fiance and I had just booked a months holiday to California so we were going to secretly elope in ...
A. 10 May 2016: The whole point of an elopement is that you do it without asking anyone’s “permission.” You sneak off and get married without anyone you know there.
So, as your fiance and father have tanked that idea by changing your plan from eloping into a smal... (read in full...)
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