A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm about to qualify as a hairdresser and my bf if expects me to cut his families hair for free otherwise he says it will be awkward? He has a large family and I've spent nearly a year and half working for apprenticeship wage. Am I right to be annoyed? How do I handle this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (13 October 2019):
 For him to suggest that is inconceivable to me. This is your craft, your career, your livelihood... Why should you pass up on earning what is yours to keep just because HE is related to them. I don't think that family members should get free services. I really don't. Even if they were your family members, my answer would be the same. Especially if you have a craft that is dependent on how much you make. He should instead be more considerate by trying to help secure their business, at full price, for you so as to help you out once you qualify. It can sometimes be difficult to start out and I'm the type of person that would take my last to help support a friends business. I would never ask someone to do something for me for free, whether we're close or not. So, you shouldn't cut the entire family's hair for free. Not at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2019): He's hasn't put a ring on your finger, he's just a boyfriend, so they aren't your family, they are his. You're not obligated to owe anyone favours. This is your lively hood, and you can't make a living by giving things out for free. Just because you're a hairdresser it doesn't automatically mean freebies, just because you know someone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2019): Just blame the licensing agency in your state, and tell your boyfriend and his family members that they do not permit you to do haircuts for free. Maybe if you have a scapegoat the relationships will not be as awkward after telling them "no way!" to working for free.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2019): Gosh OP, you sure do have a generous boyfriend! The problem is that he wants to be generous with what is not his to give, namely your time and skills! If you and your boyfriend are really close, and long term, it might be a nice gesture, to give his mom. ONE FREE cut. Thereafter a discount. If you were a landscaper, should you landscape the yards of everyone in his family? If you were an attorney, must you give free legal advise, to every member of his family? If you owned a McDonalds franchise, should every member of his family eat for free, at your expense? Your boyfriend seems to have the entitlement mentality that is creeping into America. I too, am American, and the American way is Free Enterprise! A hard days work, for a hard days pay! Just remember, you get what you Pay For! Best Wishes in you enterprise! I know that you will do well, because all sensible folks like to be well groomed!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 June 2019):
 Do the members of his family give you their professional services for free?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2019): He isn't valuing that this is your job, your time and your worth. Would he go to work for free?
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (24 June 2019):
 It all depends on how well they tip. you know it is fun to have friends and family. And when you hang out your shingle it is great for a relative to pop in to be your first customer, and to support you in your new endeavor.
I've never received a free haircut from a licenced professional. I have exchanged a favor or two with some talented individuals whose licence has expired. (they felt they couldn't charge)
I know that my advice is kind of backwards. But it is their attitude that needs adjustment, not yours.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2019): I would either decline, or offer a "discount" to cut hair at their house. That way, you don't have to pay the salon a portion of your pay and make the same amount of money or even more. Win-win.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2019): Simple. Give them bad haircuts and they will stop coming to you.
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (23 June 2019):
 This is your JOB, it isn’t a hobby. You earn a living from this so it’s absolutely outrageous for him to even suggest you do this for free. Even HE isn’t entitled to free haircuts. I wouldn’t even dream of expecting a service for free from one of my friends just because I know them, your BFs attitude is cheeky beyond belief.
I’d tell him straight that there will be NO free haircuts. My barber takes around 45-50 minutes to cut my hair and style my beard. To be expected to do that for free for his family is insane. Tell him where to get off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2019): Easy solution. Barter for favors! I'll do you a favor once in awhile; and give you a free haircut, but you owe me a big favor!
Get some little IOU tokens and put them in a jar. When they want a free haircut, give them a token and a cut. Keep a little journal, and cash-in on your favors. You won't see them very often.
My dad used to say: "If you want to get rid of friend or distance an enemy...lend them money!" Same goes for exchanging favors.
If that puts a bitter taste in their mouths, no free haircuts. You do it to make a living, not to fill your chair with nonpaying moochers!
Don't blow it out of proportion. You can refuse, or suggest they make appointments like everyone else.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 June 2019):
 It's one thing for him to suggest this but it would be very cheap of them to even expect that they get free haircuts just because they know you through him! How do they even think that this is fair?
Tell him that the most you can you is give them a discount but nothing beyond that. Do consider what this tells you about him and his family though.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 June 2019):
 I am tempted suggesting you to be evil and give these relatives the worst, nost unbecoming haircut you can think of so, I bet you will see that, once you have scalped amd defiled the first two or so…. there will be no more pressure for free haircuts :)
But, no. Please don't do that. I am joking.
I think you should handle this with simplicity and honesty. Tell your boyfriend that you trained to become a professional hairdresser so you are going to cut hair for a living, not as a passtime; you just can't afford to invest that much time ( since you say they are many persons ) on non-paying clients, plus it would not even be right, nor professional, toward your paying clients who aren't lucky enough to be born your bf's second cousins.
At most you can consider giving these people a little discount, or else , on a special occasion, like your bf's mom's birthday, give her some free service as a treat. But of course no, obviously you can't commit to take care of the whole family for free, because you are going to set up a business, not a charity.
Awkward ? No, it won't be awkward . I am sure that there are other hairstylist in the area, and these relatives are free to patronize THEM, you will not bat a lid if they do nor hold any grudge. So, no awkwardness either way.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 June 2019):
 "Sorry, Honey, but hairdressers don't work for free, even for family. Nobody works for free and I can't afford to either."
If you want, you can offer discounted rates for their FIRST haircut for you or ONE free hair cut per person in his IMMEDIATE family (parents and siblings), but it's still HIS family, not yours.
Out of curiosity, what kind of boyfriend is he if he expects his girlfriend to work for his family for free?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 June 2019):
 You say no,
DID his family PAY for you to become a hairdresser?
What you can do is OFFER a "discount" for family but then ONLY cut their hair outside of the salon.
YOU DO NOT owe his family free haircuts, that is ridiculous.
It won't be awkward more than ONCE when you say no, I can't cut everyone's hair for free.
They will simply STOP asking when they know they can't get it for free.
IF your BF have an issue with this... HE can become a hairdresser and CUT his family's hair.
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