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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I won't bore you with too many details. Just want to know if you think it is appropriate for your spouse/partner to ask you about the details of your therapy sessions? I was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. I have begun counselling recently because my issues are affecting my well being and my relationship. I have trouble trusting my partner. After every session my partner asks me how it went, what we talked about, what I said, what the therapist said. And I understand he's interested in my well being but should I be telling him everything that went on? I feel like even though he's my partner, it's like an invasion of privacy. Does he have the right to know? Should I tell him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SadMan76  +, writes (21 August 2019):
As many others have said: no.
Your partner should respect your privacy and not ask too much even. But he/she should listen if you feel like talking about it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 August 2019):
 No, of course not.
I think it's fine to tell him you have nothing to share with him, yet. And it's fine to say that you are working on yourself and that you feel that happens between the therapist and yourself.
At some point your therapist MIGHT want you to talk to yur partner about things, then it's up to you to start that conversation.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 August 2019):
 No, he doesn't. Obviously. Communication betwwen patient and therapist is " privileged communication " . An interaction between two parties in which even the law recognizes a private, protected relationship. Whatever is communicated between the parties remains confidential, nobody can force its disclosure.
As a matter of fact, even if you should agree to share the contents of your therapy sessions, with yor husband or with anybody else, I would ask first your therapist's opinion, if it's ok for you talking about your sessions with third parties, because there are cases where this can be downright detrimental to your progress and healing.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 August 2019):
 Simple answer: no.
Complicated answer: if he’s part of the reason you are in therapy, then HELL NO.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (20 August 2019):
You should only tell him what you are comfortable telling him. He has no right to know anything else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2019): I have concerns that you don't feel close enough to confide in your partner, does your therapist know this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2019): No he does not . Share what you like . Don’t share what you don’t feel comfortable with . Ultimately he needs fo base his decisions on the relationship around the entirety of how you two communicate and get along and if he can’t accept that therapy is a confidential space then maybe talk to your therapist about him nagging you for details. Possibly he can attend one session and the therapist can talk to him about why it’s so important he not harass you and they can get to the bottom of his need to know
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A
female
reader, Beets +, writes (19 August 2019):
 What happens in therapy should stay in therapy. If he wants to know what is said, how about if he finds a couples counselor, and you two go together. Then he can be a part of it all. You, however, are in individual counseling, and you are working on you. That should be enough for him. He does not need the details. I can see this coming back to bite you in the future.
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A
male
reader, Boris Grushenko  +, writes (19 August 2019):
 No.
He has no right to know. An obligation - or even a habit you've taken up yourself - to tell what is being said in a therapy session is potentially harmful for your progress. The therapist's office should be a safe environment and anything that is said there should be confined within those walls. Only then will you have the opportunity to speak, think and feel freely. The freedom you'll experience with your therapist is essential for your healing.
Then again, we don't know about your partner and your relationship. Probably his questions are inspired by a geniune compassion and interest in your well-being. Honestly, your question is a tough one. I can relate to the feeling you wnat to tell something on one hand and the need to keep the thoughts and feelings you have regarding your treatment to yourself on the other. I myself have felt guilty too for keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself, yet knowing things were too hard to discuss with my parner.
I think the suggestion to explain it is hard to speak about your issues is valuable. If you feel uncomfortable with this, know this is something you can also discuss with your therapist.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (19 August 2019):
 He can ask what he likes but it is your choice now much or how little you choose to tell him.
In fairness, he does have a vested interest in your treatment if your issues are affecting your relationship. However, this does not give him any "rights" to know about your treatment.
Maybe he feels he is being supportive by asking and discussing with you?
If you don't feel comfortable sharing ANYTHING, then tell him. If you feel comfortable sharing certain things but not others, tell him. You don't need to make a big issue of this; you can simply say something like "This is all still very new to me and I am not sure how I feel about it all. I appreciate you showing an interest in what is going on, and I am very grateful for your support, but I am not at a stage where I can share much with you yet." And just leave it at that.
Good luck. Hope the therapy helps.
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