A
male
age
51-59,
*ysphoric
writes:What is everyone's opinion on this? Since I'm back in the dating world, I have to say that it's a real cesspool out there. Everyone seems a bit jaded, and women put up these walls and hurdles that you have to jump through in order crack their code so to speak. On the other hand, some others are too eager to spread their legs for some much needed hookup attention. I understand that we all have to be cautious out there, and we do have certain characteristics that appeal to us, but for crying out loud, it has become a quagmire! You have to conform to all these games to survive in the dating world, kind of like a sink or swim scenario. Nobody relaxes anymore wanting to get the know someone on an emotional level. Everything is so superficial and highly dynamic, with distractions and other options hovering over you like a vulture.....Those who are involved in the dating scene have more options than ever and everyone has one foot out the door it seems. Falling in love or being in love with someone is something that comes and goes in a relationship, but I don't think people give themselves that opportunity anymore. Expediency and looking for the bigger and better thing seems to be the norm as opposed to just letting it all go and taking an emotional leap of faith. I get hit on a lot by women, and some of them are a lot younger than I am. However, what really makes me want to vomit is when you find out that some of these women barter sex on a quid pro quo level, thereby selling themselves short which makes them less appealing. Boundaries are sinking to a new low just for the sake of having someone.I was talking to someone the other day about the myriad of love ballads that used to dominate airwaves in the 1980's, and they seemed more emotionally driven. Nowadays, pop songs glorify the hookup culture and instant gratification. Is this just a sign of the times?What do you all think? Are we reverting back to a pre Age of Enlightenment era mentality? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2016): I think aunty honesty's advice is spot-on. I took time off myself to get my head together shortly after my partner of 28 years passed-away. I too found myself looking for similarities in my dating prospects; and feeling guilty if I dated people too much different from how and who he was. I wanted him back so badly; I even searched for similar looks and personality traits. Then it dawned on me, that I would never get over the grief of his loss until I let him go altogether. I had a brief period of celibacy (I'm not recommending this) only because I was turning down dates; and guys were really into me. I just couldn't get my head and heart into it. Sex was confusing and weird with other people. I felt guilty for liking them, it was like cheating on his memory.
I do understand you, but I love the advice given by aunty honesty; because it was the final conclusion for me. Just making friends, enjoying myself, until my grief had totally subsided. You never stop loving them; you just learn to get used to their absence, my dear friend.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 March 2016):
 I think what you must remember is that your ex girlfriend is in your past for a reason. If you are trying to look for a replacement for her in your life well then no I don't think that will work. No other girl is going to be your ex, and comparing them will only leave you feeling miserable and even more alone.
I think you need to give yourself time to get over your ex. Establish what it was that went wrong between you both, accept that it is over. Then take sometime out on your own. No dates, no hook ups. Just you alone to get your head around being single again. Allow yourself the chance to get your ex out of your mind.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dysphoric +, writes (11 March 2016):
Dysphoric is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiseOwlEPart of my dilemmas has to do with the fact that women have always sought me out and approached me through mutual friends and acquaintances. I never had to do all that much work in that department the last ten years of my life.I have great social skills and a great sense of humor according to my peers. A lot of single women in my circle of friends have tacitly thrown out a bait so to speak since they know that I'm single again, but I'm just not attracted to them.Flirting and charming women has always been part of my DNA; however, I want something more serious and similar to what I had with my ex girlfriend. My impetuous nature has clouded my rational thinking because I'm comparing a lot of prospects to the relationship I had with my ex. That's part of the problem right there..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2016): Dating is not a chore. It's recreational-interaction between couples, and a form of entertainment. If chemistry develops; nature will take its course, and a romantic connection will ensue.
Seeking too many specifics and setting a goal to find someone within a time-span turns the whole thing into a business venture. Thus there is no fun in it; and you're too busy evaluating your romantic prospects like you're interviewing a candidate for employment. This is not intentional; it's where your personal-life, maturity, and professional-life have melded. You may not get everything rolled into one; but you should not depend on your imagination to form the perfect person for you. That should be done by actually interacting with a woman in real-time. Allowing things to progress in an unpredictable and natural way. That's how love happens my friend. You don't make a mold, and wait for someone to fit into it perfectly. That's narcissistic as hell!
I take it that you're quite focused and no-nonsense; although you described yourself as a more jovial personality-type. Not if we have to judge by the posts you've written. They are full of frustration and cynicism, just as lawncare and Tisha1 also seem to be picking up. I'm not the only one.
I've been in your shoes, and I had to re-calibrate my attitude and approach. I too have reasonably good looks, I am told. I too earn a good living for myself. However; I try not to categorize or pigeonhole groups of people based on my own unsuccessful attempts to find exactly what I want, when I wanted it. If you do that, you'll become so embittered and convinced everyone is so alike; you'll be even worse than those you've criticized.
Romance and falling in-love hasn't changed at all. It only happens when there is the right match. However; it can't happen unless you have the right attitude to be receptive to it. Frustration shuts-down all those receptors that normally would allow you to be open-minded. So anyone who deviates from your stiff list of criteria; they may get quickly eliminated. Before you can truly enjoy those positive traits that are sometimes reserved; until they are certain YOU yourself are exactly the kind of man they're looking for. It's what you project that may be getting in your way my friend. I'm a man of logic. I don't write this stuff without thought and consideration. Nor do I have time to waste, unless I want to help.
Perhaps I'll get no rebuttal as others have; because I'm gay and you can't relate to me; but it's no different for same-sex dating and relationships. Human nature is the essence of all emotional connections between human beings.
Sometimes you have to introspect to determine why you can't seem to find exactly that special person you've tried so hard to find. You may have overlooked "the one" a thousand times; because you have a prototype already preconceived in your mind, and no living creature has ever lived up to it.
Trust me, I'm not asking for a rebuttal or acknowledgement. I'm simply offering my own observations, wisdom, and experience. I relate to your posts to some degree.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 March 2016):
 Oprah’s talk show has been off network television for 5 years now. Just FYI.
Obviously you have a certain standard in a romantic partner. Now that you’ve gathered data on the various apps and dating sites, you can eliminate those that present less-than-satisfactory candidates for your approval.
Perhaps your ton of friends and the gym gang would be a better resource for you in finding the woman of your dreams? Let them know what kind of woman you hope to date.
This question does present a rather cynical tone and there’s a bit of a hint of anger in there as well. You might want to have a look at that if you’re hoping to attract a sweet and affectionate girl-next-door type.
Well, good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, Dysphoric +, writes (9 March 2016):
Dysphoric is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Lawncare.............You apparently didn't understand the context of my post. I was merely asking if unbridled romantic love is becoming a thing of the past in this day and age of instant on line gratification. That's all.Trust me. I have nothing against great sex, and even on the first date if the opportunity presents itself with someone you share great chemistry with. You're talking to a guy who has slept with way too many women and always had it easy in that department. As far as exuding sense of anger while dating?...You're psychoanalysis and reading between the lines of my post is dead wrong. I am known as the class clown and charmer/player amongst my peers - I get a lot of game if and when I want.The point I'm trying to make is that people in general seem more jaded in this fast paced electronic dating world. The art of carrying on a deep, meaningful conversation has become a lost art. People lose interest really fast and they're always out for the bigger and better deal.
...............................
A
female
reader, pindrop  +, writes (8 March 2016):
 Its a tricky one. I myself have become jaded of the whole online thing. I do not think many people have serious intentions. It creates a certain mentality, a bit like shopping around then when you see something that looks better you drop the item you have and go onto the next. People hold out more for something perfect, when there is no such thing as we know. Grass is greener syndrome and all that! Peoples values have certainly changed. People have a need to fill a void in their life, are looking for instant gratification with little effort and input. Some things take work, finding love is not easy, I believe love finds you anyway. I am not on sites anymore and leaving things to happen naturally in the real world.
...............................
A
male
reader, lawncare +, writes (8 March 2016):
 Alright fella. Sorry to hear you're having it tough. But I'm going to start by putting you on the back foot and saying that think you're probably being a bit grouchy here and possibly a little slow to catch up to the world.Are we reverting to a pre-age of Englightenment mentality? No, because we're not banning science and literacy or executing false prophets or abandoning perspective in art. Little joke paragraph for you there before the advice section proper.It's a frequent complaint of older men re-entering the dating sphere that the world has changed and there are hoops to jump through. Every older generation laments the one before it. But what are these hoops? Your post is vague. Is it that sexual mores have changed and women have more agency and don't just have to sit there and listen until you decide you want them? You seem to view women as this homogeneous group with the same opinions and ways of behaving. This is misguided. You may meet some people who are seeking sex. There may be some who desire material comfort. But there are those who want intelligence, humour, emotional availability and intimacy. The same diffusion can be said for men, and t'was ever thus, will forever be so!Through your post I sense a great deal of anger. If this level of anger is within you on your dates, then it can be read. People are often perceptive and sense the layers of discomfort that bubble beneath. You might put this down to women being more interested in something 'bigger' but I know plenty of good people who aren't that well off or great looking with fantastic partners - because they're nice, fun, well-presented, and don't ascribe to vague forces the problems that they face.Do people still fall in love these days? I'm happy to report that they do. Yes, the game has changed to a degree where you might have to navigate that people may initially have multiple options and don't consider you their partner after a few dates and sexual encounters.It's my belief that there's a problem with your attitude, rather than society. Sex is important and fun and is thought of as a foundational part of a loving relationship. But you seem to hate sex, or refuse to have it on any terms but your own, and castigate those who refuse to weaponise it. Sex for many isn't intrinsically linked with emotions, rather it is a physical pleasure. Conversely, emotions are difficult to just give away to relative strangers. Why should emotional availability be placed before sexual adventure? Why can't it be the other way around? You don't have to answer me here, these are rhetorical questions.The more I scrolled up to read your post the more I got irritated to be honest. You get hit on and you're complaining. So many people would envy you and you see it as a burden. As a constructive suggestion, why not try a dating site? That way you can explicitly state what you're looking for. You obviously have something to offer or else you'd be barren. Perhaps the filtration systems available to a good dating site might help get rid of people that you don't desire.If my advice seems a bit tetchy then I do apologise and I *do* wish you the best. Also there were loads of songs about hook-ups and material culture in the 80s. Come on, it was the Reagan era!
...............................
A
male
reader, Dysphoric +, writes (8 March 2016):
Dysphoric is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 Yes, I am looking for a long term significant other because I enjoy being in a long term stable relationship. I can get hookups because I have the looks and gift of gab, but that scene turns me off! It was great in my twenties but I'm done with that.I have ventured onto the online dating scene, including some of the apps. What I uncovered is that a lot of people are devoid of meaningful communications skills, and they all fall into the same "wanting to find my soulmate" category. It's rather comical since it they all sound so contrived by parroting things they're supposed to say or paraphrasing something they heard on Oprah. The fact is that a lot of these candidates are actually soulless; they're looking for a soulmate to fix their broken spirit. There are a lot of candidates with unreasonable demands out there. I have a ton of friends and I'm also very active physically, and I participate in group fitness activities three to four times a week. Trust me......I have no problems meeting people, and I often strike up conversations with total strangers. My sense of humor is legendary and I'm very quick witted. I am a good looking guy with money in the bank with very few bills to pay. In other words, I have my $hit together. All I want is a sweet, affectionate, genuine classy and attractive girl next door type with a good career. Someone who can talk and communicate in a relaxed manner. Someone who's intelligent. That's what I'm used to and what I want. I want a woman who takes my breath away!
...............................
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (8 March 2016):
 Hi,
i meant to say the massive "porn" industry within my previous msg.
...............................
A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (8 March 2016):
Hi,
i agree with many of the previous readers comments and even many of yours, however, i have to say, that regardless of everything mentioned, when you take it all back to the very basics, it has much to do with nature vs nurture, social media and the massive pron industry.
We are pretty much, a direct product of our surroundings.
We are first exposed to our primary caregivers, who by norm, protect us and try to guide, steer us in the right direction, however, as we grow up and begin to find ourselves and mix with others on a social level, much of our initial beliefs, values, moral judgements can start to wain, if we are weak enough to allow that to happen, or if we are genuinely apt, to being influenced by others.
I was raised in a strict, yet very loving environment and i was taught many important values by my primary caregivers, so even now, as an independant woman, i still hold onto those values and beliefs, because it was such a huge part of my upbringing and i saw great sense in many of those teachings.
I fell madly in love with my now husband and i unlike many women, got married much later in life and that was simply because i had never met anybody that i truly felt a deep connection with on most levels.
I took my time, i didn't rush, nor did i feel the need and urge to sleep around, although the opportunities presented themselves countless times.
I am quite old fashioned in thought, although i am as modern in every way, as any modern woman and i like to hold onto those old fashioned virtues and i don't need to follow the crowd, so to speak. I never have.
There are literally millions of men and women who'd hold similar beliefs to me, hence a prospectively wonderful relationship, for many who choose wisely.
To answer your question in short, absolutely, of course people still fall in love.
It's part of the human condition, it's always happened and it always will.
The crucial thing is though, to make sure you are looking in all the right places and not the wrong.
Also, you don't want to be dating very young women, because with all due respect, most are not going to make great marriage material, because they themselves, haven't yet found themselves, as they're still young and most often, not yet fully mentally mature.
When we're young, we're not really thinking about a long term union, certainly not marriage and certainly not in this day and age.
You would really benefit from meeting a nice woman in her late 20s 30s, or early 40s because at these ages, she is still young enough to conceive and she is old enough to know what she wants, plus in her 30s and 40s, she's comfortable in her own skin.
As a mature woman myself, i will tell you, there are a myriad of gorgeous older women out there and more often than not, these are the best female suitors for many men.
I have many female friends, who married 1st, 2nd and a 3rd time around and were still able to conceive in their 40s.
Some required assistance, others didn't.
So long as a woman is healthy and still fertile, there is no reason why she cannot have a baby.
I would suggest that you join a local social group, doing something that you enjoy and meeting new and interesting people that way.
I know many people are against dating sites, however, statistics verify that more people globally, now meet and find their ideal match via dating sites.
With busier lives and less time to get out into the real world, many are compelled to sit within the convenient and private confines of their own home and search the net.
Sure, there are the fakes and the sleazy individuals on those sites, however, you quickly get to see who's who and what's what and you can rule out anybody that you don't feel a connection with, or you can block a person that you feel isn't a great candidate.
When you meet in the flesh, you can see who the person is immediately and it's the old/original way of meeting somebody, however, online dating can really assist you in eliminating people with negative traits/attributes and that's an online advantage that you don't have in real life.
I have had a number of real-life, long term relationships and none of them survived, however, i put myself out there and decided to give love another go and i found my ideal match on a dating site and today we are married, very happy and very much in love.
The world is a complex place and there is evil and negativity all around us, but it's up to us to protect ourselves from any negative influences and people.
There are those who are quite toxic and do not have your best interests at heart, yes and even when it comes to love, so always keep your eyes open and use your gut instinct when choosing.
All the best and let me know how you get on. :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2016): i thought you men created FWB concept and convinced women that its ok?? NO?
there are women out there who dont offer themselves up just for sex. There are women out there who dont do one night stands. Women who are promiscious are minority, i dont know where you meet these women and what places you hang out at.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2016): Careful now! Easy does it. You're dating during the era of high technology and social media addiction. People have lost touch with deep emotion and romance; and much of that stems from growing up in households that never placed much emphasis on the romantic aspects of human connection and relationships. By and large, many folks come from divorced households and never had the benefit of seeing how truly successful relationships work.
Finding sex is easy and gratuitous. All it takes is an app.
People confuse that with finding love. The lines between love and lust is quite blurred in the 21st century. Though related, they are not interchangeable words. You can debate that for hours with some people.
Nowadays, if you get tired of a relationship or marriage, you simply bailout or walk. Often leaving kids behind for a single-mother, or father, to struggle alone. They don't even look back!
I had to chuckle at a lot of what you've written; because when I re-entered the dating world a few years back; I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. To my chagrin, age didn't seem to make much of a difference. People in their 40's, 50's, or 60's were just as loony and out of touch as their younger counterparts. The same games are played. Mixed signals about whether or not there is a romantic connection; outrageous demands and high expectations. Standards set so high a giraffe couldn't reach them on the top rung of a ladder on a fire truck fully-extended. What's more confounding is they don't live-up to their own standards!
These days, looks do outweigh personality; because we've been conditioned to allow our vision to be the only way we determine or judge how attracted we are to another person. Money otherwise compensates for many shortcomings. The lack of hair, a small penis, a beer-gut, and a nasty temper. If you drive a late model Mercedes and have deep pockets, all these things fade-away. You could date a super-model!
So you have to prepare yourself, as if you're going into battle. You can't surrender, only because you're outnumbered by the enemy. You simply change your strategy.
There are a chosen few hidden in the population (you must extend that reach internationally, of course) who are specifically designed and custom-made to suit your needs and personality-type. My good fellow, it takes perseverance and a powerful sense of humor to survive and enjoy dating. I put emphasis on "dating." It initiates the elimination process that leads to potential mates and matches. You've got to find a way to enjoy it, and abandon your mission to find someone you can nail-down into a commitment. It will come, but not on demand. It's a natural process, which can't be forced.
Like hunting treasure, you must be patient and persistent to find them. Don't seek love, that finds you. Seek compatibility, good character, patience, kindness, and generosity. Look for good traits that offer a foundation to build on. Don't say people no longer have these traits. That isn't true. I found one! I've got those traits myself.
Careful!I caution you. Don't sour on people! Cynicism paints everyone with a broad brush; and you can't see the difference through a jaded perception of people in general. I had to overcome that attitude; because it was fouling up my aura and my own personality. I got a bit too judgy, and even went as far as being celibate. Rejecting dates, because I just didn't want to relive dates of horror that seemed to occur again and again. Freaks like a handsome surgeon who wanted to tie me up, and stick needles in me.
To look at him, you'd swear he was the embodiment of class and charm. He was great conversation and eye-candy. Turned out to be a total weirdo. I pressed on.
Falling in-love is not an outdated concept. It takes patience and a lot of weeding to get to reasonable candidates simply to form a emotional connection. There really isn't anything new under the sun. Human nature hasn't changed that much. There is an element that seems to be dehumanizing the population. Gadgets, immediate gratification, and social media.
Watch a group of people standing in a room at a party. Everyone glaring into their phones. No one really talking to each other, too busy texting others not at the party; or sending Instagram's to show they're at a party. Once they've numbed their brains with drugs and/or alcohol, and injected themselves with artificial courage. That's when they want to interact and carry-on conversation; through incoherent babbling and sleazy pickup lines. Sometimes it's entertaining just standing there in wonder. You have to make the best of it. Not be too deep or serious. Because amongst these hipsters and techno-geeks are real people.
Texting and IM's have replaced face-to-face conversation; and many women go into an emotional tissy if you stop texting them day-in and day-out. Any pause in messaging means there's some kind of rift in the relationship, or you don't love them anymore. Not that you might be sick and tired of stupid emogis and constantly feeding their insecurities with compliments and encouragement that isn't believed. Or, checking-in to account for your whereabouts.
Couple of years after being dumped (that's another story),I was walking around the gardening center at a home improvement outlet. A really handsome stranger stared me down. Came over and asked me where I got a few unusual plants in my cart, which were only a few feet away. I knew it was just to strike-up conversation. Almost two years later, he's still my guy. I wasn't even looking. Sometimes destiny puts us through a lot of stuff and exposes us to a lot of people; because it prepares us for the future. You've got to kiss a few frogs, as they say. You've got to be open-minded. Patience is a must.
Enjoy dating for dating sake, and end the mission to find love. It is the Holy Grail, and it will evade you. You let love find you, and just be open to it. Cynicism will close-off that part of you that is receptive to the right signals; so be less jaded, and see life for what it is.
People still fall in-love, and I'm living proof. If you read some of my articles from the past, it seemed it would never happen. Someone told me I deserved someone better, and dumped me like a hot potato. Not even after a fight!
Someone better found ME. I'm in-love!
Good luck, my friend. Stay positive!
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (8 March 2016):
 We are not reverting back to anything. We are in an age of electronics, media and artificial pleasure and enhancements. There were bitter women and promiscuous women in the 80's. It's just that all of us, no matter how happy or sad we are, are free to broadcast ourselves or show our faces today.
If you are talking about girls who seek sugar daddies. That's because we can't afford college anymore. If you get hit on by a younger women it's probably because they think you can afford luxury things.
The idea of men and women exchanging values to stay together has been there since the beginning of history. The concept of love is introduced when women and men started to have equal status. It is used to encouraged couples to stay together for the sake of our children. Modern life is stressful so people can hardly reap the benefits of marriage.
There is indeed a rise in songs about hookups but luckily we still have Ed Sheeran and Megan Trainor. They are both very sweet.
The need to love would never go away because it's universal. It starts when you have the parent infant bond and as you grow up you would always want to go back and re-experience it. People who have their hearts broken do not know how to look for love in the right way. They might demand it or become obsessed with hoarding it.
I don't insist that real love has to be forever but if the opportunity is there we should not ignore it. There are indeed many people on dating websites without knowing the meaning of seeking love. Many of them are angry and just expect the right person to change the world for them. The variety, the ease of access to people can be deceptive because it's not representing how many people are actually ready for love. When you are online, people can write things and be whoever they want, they can hide beneath an exterior of competence so you may waste a lot of time as you see the real them through time. That's a side effect of being able to be in touch with people easily. Although some are bad at writing profiles so you just know right away that they are bitter. In a way that's better for you because you can just avoid them quickly.
Also if you are jaded from a past relationship, you may still be negative and you attract people on the same wavelength. Don't depend on others to make your world bright again. If you have something positive to offer then the women who are ready to receive will find her way to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (8 March 2016):
 Rise of promiscuity is statistically correlated with myriad of things: rise in poverty, rise in godlessness, rise in moral decay, rise in anonymity or ability to become anonymous... And conversely, decline in real income, decline in job security, decline in quality of food... But one thing that promiscuity for sure results in is a huge divorce rate. Studies after studies show that the less sexual partners human has in a lifetime, less chance of divorce. People with 7 sex partners, for example, face upwards of 90% odds of being divorced, hence miserable in their live life. People with 2 or less partners face only 10% odds of divorce.
Conclusion of all this is obvious: abstaining from sex is not only healthy for the genitalia but also healthy for the relationship.
So you make many good points, I just wish to supply the statistics. As for which way all this is going to end up...?
There are people who believe that all of that promiscuity is good and that promoting it frees a human being from constraints of morality. Others look at the actual numbers and ultimately note that every society with high public acceptance of promiscuity is facing a sharply declining population, that is, in essence dying. Europe is rife with that.
Irrespective of this bad diagnosis, one needs to be optimistic that somewhere, there is a lovely heart awaiting a right person to fall in love with. Without that hopeful fantasy lot of the stuff we do as humans is as meaningless as the hook up sex people do these days.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 March 2016):
Are you looking for a long term girlfriend who could be your next wife (assuming you just ended a marriage)? How are you meeting women now? Through friends? Free dating apps? Paid membership based matchmaking services online?You're obviously frustrated trying to meet suitable dating candidates, so where are you looking, how are you putting yourself out there and what is your desired outcome?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 March 2016):
 Yes, I do think it's the age of ridiculous "political" correctness, personal entitlement and instant gratification.
Unfortunately.
Think about you can buy JUST about anything with a few click on your phone or computer. You want sex? BAM! there is your assortment of websites where women AND men offer themselves up for casual sex. Or if you have the money, websites where you BUY those "services". And of course the porn, the porn everywhere.
Think "dating" apps like Tindr. You swipe a person left or right. Whether you want to F them or not basically. Without knowing ANYTHING about them. Some even meet up have sex and never talk again. For me that seems subhuman.
Think about manners and social interactions today. It's over text and Facebook. It's FML, LOL, TTFN - not REAL face to face conversations. People are more concerned about Angry birds than being polite to the check out person.
It's sad.
But with that said, I DO think it's still possible to met someone who will be a good match for you. It might mean "wade" through a few more dates and taking it WAY slower.
If whatever dating site or where ever you have picked up partners before doesn't WORK, try something new. Don't sell yourself short.
Maybe don't go for the younger girls as well. Go for women you ACTUALLY have something in common with. After all it doesn't seem like a younger women isn't working out for you.
And as far as being jaded... well, honey.. you sound a bit jaded too. So try not to judge other's so hard.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 March 2016):
I guess every-bodies opinion is going to be different on this topic. I know quite a lot of girls that love going out at the weekend just purely for sex with random men, they are looked upon as sluts and easy. Yet most young men are out looking for the same thing and they are getting patted on the back almost like they have achieved something if they pool.
I have met men in there early 20s who are waiting for the right girl and who are just not in to having a one night stand as it does not mean anything to them, yet they are frowned upon and people think there is something wrong with them because they have never had sex. Same if it is a girl.
Yes I see that more and more people are out wanting a one night stand, or a fling, even people who are in relationships or even married. There are more and more people wanting to invite others in to the bed so that they can explore there sexuality and try new things. But I do also believe that there are plenty of traditional women and men out there who are waiting to find love and who are not just giving themselves to the next person that comes along. I think the big thing is the location off where we meet these people. A lot of people out in clubs just want a hook up. Where as if we join a social club or take up a new hobby it gives us a chance to really get to know somebody as a person and not a sexual object.
...............................
|
