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*aring Aunty A agony aunt

*aring Aunty A

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*aring Aunty A's profile:

Dear Cupid is truly an exceptional advice-giving website

Its Aunts and Uncles are caring and wise

I hope to be as sage with my advice as they are

Here I will try my best

As I endeavour to be A Caring Aunty from Australia

Cheers – CAA :)

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I found out the man I'm dating is married

Q.   Am dating married man but on the first he didn't tell that is married,I found it by mi self.I feel like leave him but he is caring man every woman need,He says that he loves even he took me to his home but wife unknowing that am co,What can I do?...

A.   25 June 2017: He is NOT a caring man nor what every woman needs! What sort of woman are you talking about who says she needs this type of man... a (married) man who openly deceives his wife, by bring home the mistress to be!? Can you not think what the r... (read in full...)

Am I foolish to forgive my girlfriend for cheating?

Q.   In January I found out that I'd been offered a promotion at work. A fantastic opportunity to change my life, but it involved 6 months living abroad. My girlfriend of 4 years didn't want me to go initially, but after talking things through she agreed ...

A.   25 June 2017: We all get lonely at one point or another, but resorting to sex with your best friend for companionship reasons etc. is a low blow from both of them! Sex with a stranger could have been less devastating? But your best friend categorically jumped at ... (read in full...)

Why did he give up his trip with the boys?

Q.   My boyfriend turned down a golf trip with the guys next weekend. It's out of town and they go every year. He said it's because he knows I worry and he doesn't want to upset me. In the past I have given him grief. Many of the guys go to strip club...

A.   19 June 2017: Personally that's not what I call a golfing trip, it maybe for your husband but it seems an excuse for some of his friends to play up on their partners once a year... and as much as you trust your husband, you also worry that he may eventually be ... (read in full...)

Should I commit to moving? Worried about his cheating in past and about leaving my family

Q.   Hi! I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a little over two years. He is 27 and I'm 21, so naturally he has more experience than I do. 6 months into our relationship, he confessed that he had cheated on me, so we broke up...

A.   10 June 2017: It's sweet that he wants you to come be with him, but neither of you are settled and there's that sting of having been cheated on still burning inside your head. It stings for a reason and will continue to sting because it’s not meant to be ignored. ... (read in full...)

Living together is making me broke

Q.   My question is about sharing expenses as a couple. I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years, and we enjoy each other's company. We've been living together for 5 months, which has resulted in my expenses more than doubling. We both work and we ...

A.   9 June 2017: So she couldn't see or adapt to what was fair and reasonable and decided to end things instead. Well doesn't that just show you her true colours with any man she meets? Consider yourself fortunate to be rid of her and please remember not to get a... (read in full...)

What advice can you offer for brides living in same home as their inlaws?

Q.   My husband to be is a very simple minded guy. He hates critics, conflicts,and complaints. He tries to keep the peace by keep his patience( which i appreciate highly) or sometimes avoiding from it. We are going to marry in several months and we ar...

A.   5 June 2017: You are both acting like 2 dependent children on his parents for financial reasons. I wager accommodation in China is expensive and or difficult to come by so you are economising until there’s enough money to move out on your own? Meanw... (read in full...)

Living together is making me broke

Q.   My question is about sharing expenses as a couple. I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years, and we enjoy each other's company. We've been living together for 5 months, which has resulted in my expenses more than doubling. We both work and we ...

A.   3 June 2017: She sure worked her magic thighs around you didn't she? This is pure manipulation and emotional blackmail at work! There is no “acting more as a couple” with someone so self entitled they’d rather see you go broke than pay and be responsi... (read in full...)

Am I selfish for wanting some intimacy?

Q.   My Fiancee and I have been together for a few years now and at first we had a fantastic sex life but now we are down to having sex maybe once every couple of months if that. And even then she doesn't seem to be interested so neither of us enjoy it. ...

A.   3 May 2017: So how much weight has she put on that we're actually talking about? As that'll curve a woman's self-esteem, desire and attractiveness. Nobody produces happy hormones by eating poorly etc. as it slows every component down for that person to do or ... (read in full...)

I've been with my boyfriend 2.5 years and never had sex. I think he's in love with his ex

Q.   Hi. I am 56years old and my boyfriend is 55. I have been with him for 2 1/2years. Lived with him for 14 months out of that time. He has never made love to me although he says he loves me. I also found out, reading his own words that right before ...

A.   30 April 2017: You may have to ask yourself why you're in this relationship and what keeps you there when there's no significant intimacy? Evidently his attention is drawn elsewhere while you supply him with... company, cooking and cleaning? This doesn't sound ... (read in full...)

My husband lies about watching porn and masturbating

Q.   My husband lies about watching porn and masturbating. I know he does this to avoid an argument, and I don't really mind his porn usage - I just don't want him to be lying to me. However we had a massive argument a couple of weeks ago - it came up...

A.   20 April 2017: This has nothing to do with you being insecure or a bit controlling as that's him pointing the finger at you to avoid addressing the issue. He knows he’s pushed the limit of you tolerating his porn and wrist usage. As you know when a person i... (read in full...)

He pressured me for sex, even started undressing me. But disappeared when I revealed my status as a virgin!

Q.   I went for a few dates with a guy. He was very insitent about sex but everytime I refused him he was ok and still wanted more dates with me. He tried to get me at his place after our very first date and at our second too, but i refused. However we ...

A.   18 April 2017: Sweetie he and this type of male who pressure girls have no respect, but one intention in mind. All he wanted was to swirl his penis inside you and call it a day. He utterly played you and played you even more because you're not an easy hook-up ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with a fiance who makes me feel stupid?

Q.   Hi how do I deal with a fiance who makes me feel thick and cannot do things properly this morning I was putting the washing machine on I was just about to put the powder in the drawer he walked over and took it off me and said he would do it i told ...

A.   17 April 2017: I think he feels frustrated and worried with how you do things and takes over to prevent unnecessary breakages or extra work, extra expense. Problem with that is you don't learn to do things better or perhaps properly? If you know you are a clumsy... (read in full...)

I waited 3 years to tell my LDR boyfriend that I have 2 children and now he's unsure of how he feels

Q.   I've been in a 3 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I'll admit I've been wrong in never disclosing to him that I've been married, divorced, and have two teenage children. I'm also 42 yrs old while he's only 33 yrs old. I've trav...

A.   16 April 2017: I understand your nondisclosure impart (lying as others have mentioned), but LRD or not everyone has a history, previous life and present existence... yet from what I gather he did not think to ask you these basic relationship questions either, if ... (read in full...)

I love my husband but don't know how long I can keep carrying everything on my back!

Q.   Not sure if this is really a question or just needing to vent but I could use some advice. I'm just feeling very worthless in my marriage. I feel like he's always mad at me and my kids and nothing we do is ever good enough. Like I go shopping after ...

A.   15 April 2017: Role reversal never sits well with most men as they're usually the breadwinner and leave the ever important nurturing to his spouse. Sure enough it's still a team effort in any marriage when times are tested... the true colours of who we really ... (read in full...)

Money is tight. Lots of financial pressure. How do I get him to see that he doesn't have enough money to attend the car race ?

Q.   Been with my fiance for 3 years. Currently We are BROKE. Had to cancel wedding (was meant to be next month) can't even elope cause we have no money for that. I had celebrant asking when we are putting deposit down and my fiance said "we need to ...

A.   15 April 2017: I don’t see him as having any priorities if he takes food from the family table and spends that money on a week-end away for himself. As much as we all need a break to recharge our batteries, the trouble with having financial issues such as yours... (read in full...)

Should I write another letter to my ex?

Q.   We were together for 2 years. He was very special to me. He was my first everything. Our breakup happened in very complicated situation , i went through a miscarriage. I thought he was not giving me the support i needed . He thought i was very ...

A.   6 April 2017: Enough is enough, what is done is done... do not torture yourself and him for the past by writing another letter. He will not hate you for life; he has his own demons, guilt for his behaviour to bear. Be that now or later as Karma dictates. Let i... (read in full...)

Worried my husband doesn't think I'm attractive

Q.   Am I wrong to be upset that I don't think my husband finds me physically attractive? I think he married me for reasons other than appearance like that we get on and that we have similar values, wanting a family and same financial goals etc. He often ...

A.   5 April 2017: Put the shoe on the other foot and ask yourself would you rather a husband have similar values, wanting a family and same financial goals etc. like you OR a foolish husband that’s so gorgeous looking yet fights regularly with you? Your husband ... (read in full...)

His sister is so negative, how can we put a stop to this madness?

Q.   i have been with my current boyfriend for 16 yrs. his sister calls from time to time and when she does she always dumps her problems on him, always negative for as long as i have known her, he gives her advise on how to better her life but she ...

A.   5 April 2017: He need not give his sister advice and she need not take it either, because all she wants is a listening ear from her brother whom she evidently misses because he's moved away. If he's the only family she has I understand why she turns to him. ... (read in full...)

Does sex life decline after a few years? She didn't complain initially.

Q.   Does sex life tend to decline after a few years? My girlfriend was virgin when she met me. She used to love sex, was extremely naughty and used to want it more than me. Now few years later she isn't really up for it. She says it not me, she does...

A.   5 April 2017: Goodness gracious; she doesn't move at all!? It's no wonder there's a decline in sex... it's so weird no-one has made her wake-up and realise this is not right!? I know there’s her inexperience and we all go through phases but this does not make a ... (read in full...)

He makes me feel rejected. Can anyone offer me some perspective on this situation?

Q.   Hello aunts. I would really appreciate some advice please. I have been in a relationship for seven months now, and we see each other weekly as we live a little way from each other. In the main we are good together. There is lots of contact betwe...

A.   5 April 2017: My man was not initially the touchy feely type unless it was foreplay. He's a genius in that department so go figure!? Nonetheless you may have to persevere until your man gets the message. Fact is you live apart, see each other weekly which is... (read in full...)

My ex said he wanted us to be together. A week later he said he didn't mean it like that. I'm angry and confused.

Q.   He’s 28, I’m 27. We were together 4 years and he left me 6 months ago. He's now in a relationship an 18 year old. He’s kept in touch with me all the time since our break up (always him initiating). Last week he told me he misses me and that he k...

A.   1 April 2017: He initiates contact with you because he finds his rebound 18 year old GF boring and unfulfilling. There's only so much bimbo a man can take before he starts to reflect what he had. A person comes to realise what that other person meant to them ... (read in full...)

I ratted out my friends for cheating. Did I do the wrong thing?

Q.   I'm in college and recently we had our finals exam for calculus, I studied my absolute hardest and I know I still get didn't enough right answers to pass, after the exam I find out that some of my classmates were using a facebook group chat to share ...

A.   30 March 2017: Those cheating classmates are laughing at all who study hard for their exams. It’s not a nice feeling to discover those giving answers to one another while we answer exams on our own merit. What you did took courage yet you feel guilt about yo... (read in full...)

How can I stop living in the past and stop worrying?

Q.   Hello everyone, how does someone stop living in the past , it seems like my life is a contact worry, I can't escape my own "prison" I always worry about what other people think of me , constant non stop, whether it's a work, at home , with friends...

A.   28 March 2017: If you say "you can't put into practice what you hear" it begs further clarification. Is that because; you can't or won't as there is a difference? “Can’t” implies you have a limitation, or not skilled; “won’t” is by choosing not to do something ... (read in full...)

I feel trapped, I want him to move out but he has no money!

Q.   Dear Cupid My boyfriend is 45 and we have been together for a few years. I am aware that he likes to drink and we have had some arguments about this and I have told him I respect his right to make his own choices but a life which focuses on alcoh...

A.   27 March 2017: No one person with substance abuse issues gets better with people enabling them! That strangely includes you being afraid for him, thinking he can't pay rent elsewhere. Sometimes if not always; caring for someone with this condition only cripples ... (read in full...)

How should we respond? My husband's ex has threatened to abandon the children on our doorstep, if we don't agree to take them at a time convenient for her.

Q.   We could do with some help solving a problem please. My husband has recently been made redundant(with one week pay) and was offered an opportunity to go on a course to improve his skills and at the end, secure a new job which he was so excited a...

A.   14 March 2017: Clearly the EX is a bytch, I get that! However what would your plan be if this was a freak emergency situation regarding the EX; like a car crash, or perhaps something less dramatic like an operation she had to have (to remove stupidity) and the ... (read in full...)

Why can't she see he is not a good person? Do I just leave her to get on with things? Since she is not listening

Q.   Hello. My good close friend who is 27 has had a rough few years. Her Mother passed away, the Father of her 2 kids left her (he still regularly sees the children) She has begun having a relationship (now 10 months and I have met him once) with someo...

A.   14 March 2017: It baffles me too, yet something tells me she's not too smart, has low self-esteem and makes very poor choices in life if she needs to ask; "if this was OK behaviour" about her BF. It'd be interesting to know how the Father of her 2 kids compares... (read in full...)

His behaviour has broken my trust in people

Q.   Hello everyone. I hope you're doing well this Sunday. I was recently in a 3 year relationship. This whole time I thought I had a sweet, brutally honest, loyal, friend, lover, team mate. Everything came crashing down. Turned out he was not loyal or...

A.   13 March 2017: The guy is an utter COWARD; a 2 faced sneaky liar who hasn’t the guts to speak his mind civilly when there’s something bothering him. Yelling an inch from your face is a sign he treats you with contempt and definitely shows he cannot communicate ... (read in full...)

I'm troubled by my boyfriend's spiteful side

Q.   My boyfriend and I went on holiday recently and we missed our flight as we both got the return flight date wrong. We travel on the bus to the airport to see if we can get another flight. I had a leg injury. Our suitcase fell of the baggage ...

A.   10 March 2017: It's a red flag indeed; you both got the return date wrong yet he's angry at you, you're injured, asked for help and all he gives in return is the silent treatment. I can see it'll be a 'glorious life', an emotional roller-coaster of fits and... (read in full...)

I can't help feeling that I'm his second choice!

Q.   My boyfriend always tells me that he knew from our first date that I was special and a keeper. I recently found out we had our first date, then he went out with another women the next day and had been chasing this women before and after we first...

A.   10 March 2017: This is so tainted it's colour is RED! But you got to laugh at the pathetic excuse he pulled; "his phone must have searched itself" What a flimsy piece of BS that is. I'm sure you where not born yesterday to believe this. Be that it was earl... (read in full...)

I like this guy but he just doesn't have a clue about women

Q.   I am seeing a guy who is into porn and hasn't had much experience with women. It feels like he doesn't know the difference between porn and being with a real women. He's not romantic at all, doesn't make the effort to make me feel special,...

A.   10 March 2017: Of course there's no foreplay, romance or respect... You dished out sex full throttle to a porn addict, in so much "he couldn't keep up with you sexually", and now complain he stares and expects you to service him like in those unrealistic porn ... (read in full...)

He's so unhygienic it's putting me off him, am I being unreasonable?

Q.   I have been dating for over a year. In the early days he was relatively tidy.The guy is increasingly becoming a slob. His whole place is like a teenages bedroom clothes, rushbish, hangers, money etc chucked on the floor, plates piled up in the ...

A.   10 March 2017: So he was relatively tidy in the beginning I wonder what switched him off from cleaning cause it smells like he might be depressed or just moved out from Mommy's home? If there's no legitimate cause, like unemployment or an illness then he's sim... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said my genes were inferior and any flaws would come from me

Q.   Boyfriend of almost two years and I were watching a movie (Harry Potter) and I was jokingly saying that I would name our future son Albus cause he was a bad-ass. My boyfriend said it'd be too much pressure for a kid to live up to. I laughed and ...

A.   10 March 2017: Typical Slytherin BF; only they would make insensitive remarks like that about your genes being inferior... Remember Hermione Granger of muggle descent; she was thought inferior by a certain Slytherin character for not being born pure-blood. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend charged me for work he did for me. Should he have after everything I have done for him?

Q.   I have been dating a guy for almost a year. He is going to massage school and has jobs here and there. He lives with a family member. I have helped him lots of times with homework. I recently bought a new car and gave him my old car, because he ...

A.   7 March 2017: Romeo needs to understand and be taught what it means to RECIPROCATE a kindness! Sounds like he's been spoiled by you? Girl you're a very generous giving person from what you write... This of course has pit falls in being taken for granted ... (read in full...)

I know I can't get involved but how do I deal with my feelings?

Q.   I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or ...

A.   5 March 2017: Stop the dang PRESS... Husband looks after his own children when the wife goes off to work! What will these men whinge about next to get a pretty colleagues attention? Girl this guy is or maybe coming on to you, sucking you in, bitching about lo... (read in full...)

She has no idea her ex cheated on her often! Should I tell her?

Q.   I'm in a very very sticky situation. I have 2 very close friends. 1 who is male the other is female. Both of the 2 used to date for over 4 years, they had just recently broke up about 9 months ago and I was always very close with the male. He was ...

A.   5 March 2017: I think you've grown a conscience too late... it comes AFTER her 'best friends' have done things with her ex, when they were together! While this sleazy cheating act was being done behind her back, the group kept silent. I don't know what typ... (read in full...)

Hard for me to sort out my feelings

Q.   I'm in a difficult situation. I went out with my ex on and off for 15 months. He is very stubborn, and we hardly saw or spoke to each other. I have been friends with someone that he knows for a while. They aren't very close friends, but have known ...

A.   4 March 2017: You could be sending mixed messages to the EX especially when you've seen him off and on in the last 15 months. Even though the EX is frustrating and stubborn, he's been filling a void in your life? To me it's about loneliness, not letting ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend never thinks I am beautiful!

Q.   My boyfriend of 2 yrs never thinks I am beautiful. But I feel I do look good. And he says that you always need to love a person who will be with you no matter what you look like. He does fantasise about actress but he never cheats on me..I am just ...

A.   4 March 2017: I don't quite understand what he's saying... but if you find yourself beautiful then that's all that matters to keeping your self-esteem. If he compares you to actress and says things like why don't you fix your make-up, and hair like her, the... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I are in a good place, but his mother doesn't me!

Q.   Hi all. It might be a long one so I'm really sorry. I'll set te scene a little bit. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. We are saving for a house but are both currently living with our parents. A while back (probably 6 months ago) we had ...

A.   4 March 2017: Please understand his Mother probably turns you away because she doesn't want the petty arguments disrupting her household. Although when you had that initial big fight 6 months ago, he still could have come to the door, gone for a walk with you and ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend being truthful about his parents?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for a little over three years now. He's currently in his forties. We broke up last year for about a month because he and I talked about getting married but then when we actually started trying to pick a date he told me ...

A.   4 March 2017: Girl the issue isn't about his parents, your lack of passion or not doing it (sex) enough... he sucked you in with having more sex because he was missing it (sex and you) during the breakup. The man has one BS excuse after another; delay tactics ... (read in full...)

Did this guy actually love her? Or did he just want to have sex with her, despite her telling him that she was not ready for sex ?

Q.   Hi.i know someone whose boyfriend broke up with her cause she could not have sex with him. Before she accepted to date him she told him and he accepted. Along the line he started really talking about it saying he thought she will let him have sex...

A.   3 March 2017: He's a user! If your friend doesn't have sex with him, he wants to be allowed to have sex with other girls. This is not dating, being in a relationship or love... it's being used as his toilet. Your friend would do well to flush him into the sewe... (read in full...)

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