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*earo

Trinidad and Tobago  (Male   XML/RSS

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Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.

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Am I being over sensitive about this guy who keeps cancelling on me?

Q.   Hey guys, I need a little advice on weather or not I handled something correctly.. So a few months ago I was working for a company and I became friends with my manager's younger brother who had just started working there the week I left. I left ...

A.   5 December 2017: Don't blame yourself for someone being immature and a liar towards you. ... (read in full...)

My ex isn't apologetic about his behavior and its starting to turn me off

Q.   I broke things off with him because he kept gaslighting me. Anytime I wanted to talk to him about something he’d call me a drama queen, sensitive, emotional. I got so drained trying to salvage things. The last straw was when he told me to shut up as ...

A.   5 December 2017: The relationship is ended so he doesn't owe you anything nor do you owe him anything. He is young so I doubt he will come to understand the errors of his ways. You need someone more mature in your life and you deserve to be happy. Someone should not ... (read in full...)

How do I save this friendship

Q.   My best friend and I had a fallout and we both missed each other and agreed to figure out our differences but I don't think she understands that I hate to be lectured. I do not want to sound pompous or like I know everything, because I don't,...

A.   5 November 2017: If you are indeed friends, then just tell her how you feel and explain what she is doing wrong and what you need from her. ... (read in full...)

He wants to propose and I'm just not ready!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years. Recently, he has been hinting A LOT that he wants to proposed. He also keeps asking me to find time for him to see my mom.. I know he wants to ask her. Any girl would be super happy... and I am happy... ...

A.   3 November 2017: I don't think you need an excuse to not get married. If you don't want to get married then just tell him, and explain to him how you prefer having your space at this stage in your life. That may not be what he wants to hear and he might get upse... (read in full...)

Should I tell my dad's new wife he's cheating on her?

Q.   my dad is a horrible person and a big cheater. i recently caught my dad out cheating on his new wife. No mistake about it-it was a sad site. my dad has moved on and he has his own family--and his new wife has tried hard to be nice to us--even...

A.   3 November 2017: If you tell her without proof, she might be manipulated again because all he has to say is that "it wasn't me". If you do tell her, keep in mind that she may also not believe you. If you do tell her, at least explain everything you told us here... ... (read in full...)

Why is my LDR boyfriend testing me this way?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years now and for the last two years of our relationship, he had to move for his job. He’s about 13 hours away from me now. He and I see each other as much as we can, despite the distance. The ...

A.   3 November 2017: Honestly, 2 years of LDR is taxing on both people. You both will eventually lose grip on reality and the rulebook sometimes gets thrown out the window. This one specific incident seems like the ongoing strain the relationship and someone is looking ... (read in full...)

How do I save this friendship

Q.   My best friend and I had a fallout and we both missed each other and agreed to figure out our differences but I don't think she understands that I hate to be lectured. I do not want to sound pompous or like I know everything, because I don't,...

A.   3 November 2017: I suppose she isn't a good listener or is overwhelmed by your venting. You know her as well, and it is possible she just isn't that type of person to listen to that amount of venting. She cannot be someone else and the same goes for you. Do you both ... (read in full...)

He cheated. Should I?

Q.   I’m married 20 yrs to my 1st love. We have 3 kids (14, 10 and 6). I found out 5 yrs ago my husband was cheating on me for a few years. I confronted him with evidence found in his emails and texts, pics of escorts and hotel records. He confessed ...

A.   3 November 2017: If you are going to cheat, at least do it with someone who isn't related at all to the family. This makes no sense and you are way in over your head. Revenge cheating is not an excuse. If you are unhappy then why don't you just get a divorce? ... (read in full...)

Friend sponges off everyone. How do I deal with her?

Q.   Hi, I have a friend who's used to living off other people. She's funny, smart and she still takes money from her parents (she's 39 years old!), "borrows" money and promises to pay back at some point. Goes out for drinks, meals and almost never...

A.   3 November 2017: I guess she has a problem but if someone constantly does this, why does her friends constantly give in anyway? Makes no sense to me, just tell her no, she won't die. She is a good friend because she needs you. And you like feeling needed. You are ... (read in full...)

I'm dating someone who has a twin brother and when the brothers and the sister-in-law get together, they make me feel very left out

Q.   I have been dating an identical twin for the last 4 years. We have been doing well except when it comes to spending time with his brother and his sister in law. When we are all together, I am always to one that is left out. I always get left out of ...

A.   30 October 2017: He can't force you to have common interests because that isn't how it works. If the rest of the relationship is fine then just try to bond with your existing friends or meet some new ones. You don't have to try to fit in but go ahead and do ... (read in full...)

My past has led me to hate sex, relationships and even the human touch

Q.   I hate sex, masturbation, porn and sex toys. I even despise human touch and being social, including relationships. I'm very happy being single being alone by myself, but my family and therapist pressures me to date and socialize, which angers ...

A.   30 October 2017: Those are some very bad series of events. There are people who suffer from severe anxiety and have your symptoms without any bad experiences in their past, so you can imagine their pain! It must have been hard getting to this point. If you don't ... (read in full...)

Hard to love a man's children like my own.

Q.   I've been dating a man for 7 months. I have no children, he has 2 daughters ages 9 and 7. He doesn't see them very often (once a week) on the weekends. I have spent almost every weekend with him and when he gets them. They are great kids don't get ...

A.   26 September 2017: Deal breaker, you will want kids and he does not. Run far away and worry about yourself, life is way too short. ... (read in full...)

One minute he says he's not going anywhere, the next he is avoiding discussing feelings!

Q.   I'm not sure what to think about this situation anymore. I have a male friend who told me that he'd like to be romantically involved with me, however we agreed to wait until my divorce is finalized. We have been close friends otherwise. He told me ...

A.   16 August 2017: If you suggested to see each other as friends. You both also agreed to hold off until your divorce is finalized. I don't think it is a fun thing for someone to continue discussing feelings or pursue if the other is still married. Keeping in mind ... (read in full...)

His ex girlfriends stuff is still a his place!

Q.   I have been dating my bf for almost a couple months. He was w/his ex for a long time and still has her stuff tho its been awhile since they broke up. Her stuff is still there and I want it gone, I don't want her to have any hold on him. He has ...

A.   13 August 2017: If she is spiteful, then isn't the best thing would be to NOT contact her? If it is just stuff then I do not see the importance of returning it. While it is possible for people to still be hung on their exes, you should not force an issue. S... (read in full...)

He seems a lovely guy but could I be missing something?

Q.   I have been communicating steadily with a man I met online now for around 6 months, but we have been also interacting on message boards now for more like 8 months. Things have progressed to us both being seriously interested in seeing if we could ...

A.   10 August 2017: I think you are right to be skeptical but you are at the limits to what you can learn about someone from online. Many of the questions you have can only be answered with physical contact/meeting in person/dating. I'm sure he has had things in his ... (read in full...)

I've set boundaries on how much "help" I give my boyfriend and he doesn't like it!

Q.   Am I a hypocrite? Am I mean? I know for a fact I'm confused. My bf and I were recently laid off and have 60 days to find a new job. I've already updated my res and applied to 6 places. I have even looked for jobs my bf could apply to and hav...

A.   10 August 2017: Hi, He sounds like a young guy and prolly has gotten used to the idea of getting help when he needs it. If he is not young physically then I'm saying he is young mentally. I do not think there is anything wrong in that, but clearly this isn't wh... (read in full...)

His ex girlfriends stuff is still a his place!

Q.   I have been dating my bf for almost a couple months. He was w/his ex for a long time and still has her stuff tho its been awhile since they broke up. Her stuff is still there and I want it gone, I don't want her to have any hold on him. He has ...

A.   10 August 2017: Can you clarify the "stuff" in question? ... (read in full...)

Can a true relationship be achieved without the affection and the touchy part?

Q.   our sex life has slowly deteriorated. He blames it on my weight gain but many people including male friends and family have advised me that the weight is not the problem. He won't see a doctor cause he blames it on me, however he is 11 years olde...

A.   17 March 2017: Trust, love and communication is very important in a healthy relationship. Marriage is about something more, and involves moving up in life together, better or worse becoming better people. If you both can not move beyond suck issues, then I w... (read in full...)

If he wants to remain friends, I'm going to need a sincere apology!

Q.   I recently broke it off with a guy I was dating because he wasn't ready for commitment. It hurt a lot but I'm mostly over it now. There was a deep connection and we could potentially be really good friends if the bad feelings can be resolved....

A.   28 February 2017: He is a big boy, I'm sure he wont explode into pieces if he can't have his way for once. You can't heal him because he's just a young guy, mostly likely not thinking straight. Just move on and let it be. Odds are, he is just using you and your ... (read in full...)

I worry I am being led down the garden path again!

Q.   Im really confused I hope someone helps. A few years ago I've met a guy and I've actually lost my virginity to him. he meant a lot to me and things were going great however I was afraid of commitment and I thought negatively so my thoughts were th...

A.   28 February 2017: Be careful how you approach this situation because your curiosity could stem from your own dishonesty in the past. You weren't honest with him in the past and even though you have re-connected with him, I doubt you told him why. Enjoy your random ... (read in full...)

I am worried my boyfriend's new job means the end of our relationship.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 months. I'm very happy with him. He is consistently supportive and thoughtful and treats me so kindly and respectfully. He recently got a new job and it started today. His previous job didn't have ...

A.   28 February 2017: You need to focus on your own life and find something to do besides waiting on a text message. Confidence comes from within and he can't build that confidence for you. Find a job and if you already have one then find a hobby. If you already have ... (read in full...)

His family want us to marry, mine don't!

Q.   Dear Aunts and Uncles, I 'was' dating this guy for a little over two years. We have both met each other's families and all was well until last December when his family started asking him to get married. Now the problem is I am in my early 20s ...

A.   28 February 2017: Love and trust are very important things to a good relationship. A sense of purpose and financial stability are needed for a marriage. Marriage should never the focus, but rather sharing a similar life plan. Unfortunately, we all have a hard tim... (read in full...)

What should I do? He told me that he "fell out of love" with me like a month ago and now it's too late?

Q.   Me and my fight friend have been friends for almost 2 years, 10 months ago he told me he wanted to date. When he first told me he liked me I was really nervous and not ready. I was young, immature, I had a lot of things going on in my life such as ...

A.   28 February 2017: Move on, he doesn't want to be with you. He tried for a long time but the ship sailed. Take his word for it: he doesnt wan't to be with you.... (read in full...)

How can I stop comparing myself to everyone else? How can I become Assertive and less insecure?

Q.   I'm single woman in my early thirties that on the outside most people would say (kind-generous -attractive- nice). My problem is - I'm very insecure ( I worked and work so much on outer appearance ) that I lack self confidence. I can't say no (...

A.   26 February 2017: I think with therapy you have to keep trying and also trying to find the right therapist. It is a complex issue, and perhaps not easily resolved. A part of moving forward in life is just accepting that doing "new" and "better" will always s... (read in full...)

How can I talk to them about this? What can I do about my boyfriend and my best friend? He hangs out with her when I'm not present

Q.   My best friend and I are very different people and we get on really well, even though I no longer see her very often. We have been friends for years. A year ago I helped her get close to a guy she liked who I liked at the same time. Things did...

A.   19 February 2017: Firstly, you don't have to pursue this guy. If he is not giving you the attention you deserve you can bounce. You aren't committed to him. He should be making time for you, and that is given. Secondly, this may seem weird at first, but these so... (read in full...)

What would be a good first gift, post breakup, to offer as a token of friendship?

Q.   Hi everyone, I would like to get my ex girlfriend a gift that is received as a token of friendship, or more specifically, as a gesture that I'm ready to foster one. She has already explicitly stated interest in doing so. This comes after se...

A.   5 February 2017: You don't have to give her a gift to prove something to her. You would only make her feel weird. It's not like you give gifts to your guy friends, so don't make things even weirder between the two of you. ... (read in full...)

Should I bring this up for discussion? It feels like he does not trust me anymore.

Q.   My husband and I separated nearly a year ago due to my infidelity. We recently reconciled and moved back in together. I missed him so much and have grown up a lot over the separation. Although I couldn't be happier that we are getting a second c...

A.   5 February 2017: It might be just a growing sexual preference on his part. You changed, and he has as well. What was his response when you asked him?... (read in full...)

He decided to take up on my offer on not using condoms. Why was he so willing to do this?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for a while and whenever we have sex, we always use protection. But there was this one time that we didn't because we both didn't want to. After that time we used a condom every time. We were talking about our sex li...

A.   5 February 2017: If you are willing to have sex without protection, then surely you should be able to ask him about his change of mind. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...

A.   23 January 2017: This is indeed a cultural thing as the other Aunts have mentioned. I will add based on what you wrote, your boyfriend will not go against his parents, else it would have happened already. If you chose to be in this relationship then this is how i... (read in full...)

I want people's opinions on friendships with the opposite sex

Q.   My friends and I were having a discussion the other day about opposite sex friendships and dating. I was curious about the different perspectives of opposite sex friendships. My guy friends argued that a woman with a lot of guy friends is unaware ...

A.   12 December 2016: A general rule of thumb is that men and women can't be friends due to attraction. Women seem to be generally unaware of this and feel quite offended when told that most guys are like this. Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule but ... (read in full...)

Does anyone have tips on how to be positive?

Q.   I have been going to therapy for a while and the last couple of months it's been a sting of awful evens that have made I guess have a wake up call- from my doctors main issue is that I look at everything in a negative way- life love career - ...

A.   12 December 2016: Your doctor is not lying. I think a straight forward way to be happy would be to do things that make the world happier / a better place. Use your time to help some charities, learn some new craft skills to help your excessive amount of time (wood ... (read in full...)

Feelings for my late husband's brother

Q.   Hey, I am in a messy situation and not sure what to do at this point. I would like to make it less complicated, and I have no clue how to proceed. My husband passed away almost over a year ago from an accident. I was fortunate enough to be lov...

A.   9 December 2016: Such a tricky situation. Firstly, I think you should move out, there is no reason to stay with your in-law other than for convenience. Secondly, how are the two of you going to "take it slow" if you both live together? That is why you are "see... (read in full...)

How should I approach this issue? I feel that my wife is ashamed of me

Q.   I have been married to my wife since 2001 (15 years now). One thing that has always bothered me is how while I introduce her to all of my friends I only get to meet some of hers. She is a lot more social than I am and has a lot larger social ci...

A.   4 December 2016: You should express interest in your wife's outings. I am trying to read parts where you showed interest in her work and her outings but I don't see any of that. I mostly read instances of "expecting" to be introduced. Why do you want to be ... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty that I seen someone else while we were broken up?

Q.   I am currently in a loving relationship with someone who I've been with for 3 years and we are now talking about marriage. However, in that three years, we've broken up twice... once for 3 weeks the other for 3 months, both my choice because I...

A.   28 November 2016: The wrong part was perhaps jumping into a relationship with a divorced guy. I think he would need time to adjust to being single and the same would go for you as well. Of course, very little is wrong is testing the waters and maybe you both knew ... (read in full...)

Why does she call me daddy?

Q.   I have a friend who is from South East Asia. She is 4 years older and I'm 25. I've known her for like 2 years now. She's always had this name that she calls me, I guess it's in her native language because I don't understand it. Recently thoug...

A.   23 November 2016: I guess she did have daddy issues (or some sort of issues) and perhaps you seem like a role model figure in her otherwise crazy life. If she wants to really know why, she can see professional help. In your situation, there isn't much else you can do ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my uncaring in-laws over the holidays?

Q.   Just to spare you the medical details: A few weeks ago, out of nowhere my elderly mom had to be hospitalized for a medical emergency. After 5 days she was released to a nursing home, but on Hospice. She Can no longer walk nor hold a conversation, ...

A.   23 November 2016: I may not know all the details but I believe you should not go to your in-laws place. I think if you are hurting a lot (understandably so) you should not put yourself in a situation where you have to hide your sorrow, anger and hurt. It would be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to work on our relationship he just wants to please himself

Q.   Hello so i have a question i have been with my highschool sweet heart for 20 years things have not been good lately i have tried talking to him about how im feeling and maybe how we can fix our relationship but he says everything is fine with him ...

A.   20 November 2016: It is hard to give you specific advise about the problems in the relationship because you have not mentioned them, or explain the reasons that has led to where you are now. Communication can be difficult when you want to convey issues. For exam... (read in full...)

Ex took my past and threw it in my face. Does he have the right to do that?

Q.   I don't really like to talk about my past because I've done things that I'm not proud of. I spent a few years in counseling. I had a drinking problem and an anger problem. It all stemmed from an assault i experienced, as well as being in an abusive ...

A.   20 November 2016: A lot of people react very badly to one's past. Some girls get very suspicious in their relationship and some men become extremely insecure. When partners learn about each other's past, it feels like it was just done yesterday, even though the event ... (read in full...)

Will watching X-rated movies affect my married life?

Q.   hey I am indulged in bad sex activities like watching X movies and doing all that stuff …… I want to know will it affect my married life if I continue to do so. please help me...

A.   14 November 2016: If your wife also does bad activities, how would you feel?... (read in full...)

I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends

Q.   Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...

A.   12 November 2016: Get off social media if you can not control your clicks. Try to focus on the relationship instead of digging around in other people's fake business. ... (read in full...)

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