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I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 July 2016: and my list of Great Articles written by others needs an addition and here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 31 January 2016: and similar to the one with 70 replies is this great contribution with 50 replies on ideas suggested and some implemented to improve the site over the years.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html
Great t... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 24 January 2016: This Article is Gold and deserves to be sitting alongside the other star articles, even though it is not an article. But with 70 plus responses I think it qualifies as an article on what you would like to see developed on the dearcupid site. Histo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster.
Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
Am I fit for marriage? My anxiety over my penis size is worrying me. Don't want my bride disappointed in me.
Q. Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, Im from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl who is 26 in 2 months. From the date of my engagement im worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.2 to 5.5 inch. When i measure from...
A. 20 May 2015: Being FIT to be married is about far more things that are way more important then penis size.
As has been explained to you - your penis size is NORMAL. Any fretting about the completely NORMAL size of your penis is just demonstrating that you appe... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 9 May 2015: Hi
Thank you for raising depression. My thoughts were earlier that you might be depressed - hence my earlier suggestion to concentrate on building your own self esteem.
After all, how do you imagine you can love another and receive their love if ... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 9 May 2015: It is NEVER too late. Your own experiences are unique to you.
Here is a site about stronger marriages:
http://strongermarriage.org/htm/married/family-relationships-in-later-life
It even has a great section on preparing for dating:
http://stro... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 8 May 2015: When talking finances/money I would not trust anything the bully sister has to say. She was able to buy a new car. She is driven to work two jobs. and yet she lives a rent free existence. Gee she's really sewn up everyone.
Better be certain she'... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 8 May 2015: The sister has 'issues' a Shopaholic, a bully, and cannot manage her finances. I bet she has no friends either. Seven years is long enough to get out of debt. In fact more than enough time. So I am going to add selfish into the mix as well for his ... (read in full...)
Our three-year anniversary is a week from now and I need some ideas!
Q. I need some ideas for a 3 year anniversary date and possibly a gift I could make for my girlfriend. I spoil her endlessly year round because she is my princess and when things like anniversaries come up I like to come up with more memorable dates ...
A. 8 May 2015: Buy a quality looking blank notebook.
On the opening page you can title it with something special, such as 'Why I love (her name) ' OR 'Journal of loved dedicated to (her name) '
Then write something special on each page. Some pages can be jus... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 7 May 2015: You are worth far more than this. The treatment he is allowing to occur, to you, is utterly unacceptable. He is far too tied to his mother and sister. Sounds like his sister C O N T R O L S all she touches. He is possibly intimidated by his sister. ... (read in full...)
I think my Father is making a huge mistake! There is red flag after red flag with her!
Q. My Father is making a huge mistake. My Mom died over 12yrs ago and my Father has remained single for the most part. He is now in his 70's and met a woman 30 yrs younger. She is actually only a few months younger than my oldest brother. I ...
A. 7 May 2015: There is no fool like an old fool and I am very sorry to say that your father is being manipulated by this woman. Of course she does not want to meet you as you will see how she manipulates your father. Yes it is a major red flag that she is aski... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about hanging out with a group of female friends. Do I dump him or not?
Q. My boyfriend lied and told me he had to work all day and he ended up instead going to a beer festival thing with a group of female friends he has . Should I dump him for lying ? I don't understand why he didn't tell me or why I was not invited ? His ...
A. 7 May 2015: Hi,
Not sure how long the two of you have been dating. But this is not a good sign that he could not be open and transparent with you.
Does he see you as too ''ladylike'' to attend the beer festival?
Anyway I look at it I don't think he's entirel... (read in full...)
My partner is a full time carer for her mum. How will this affect our life together?
Q. my girlfriend now cares for her mum full time. Her Mum has lupus and other health problems. she lives close by and has a one bedroom flat and her mum is in a one bedroom flat that is warden controlled. thing is though my partner is her full time ca...
A. 6 May 2015: Right now your friend feels energetic and feels she can cover everything. But you are rightly concerned that this commitment may negatively affect your relationship with her.
You are right, because it will impact on what you have going with her... (read in full...)
Should my Mom and I continue to share the same boyfriend?
Q. My mom A fell pregnant at 15 and dropped out of school. She later completed her matric and qualified as a nurse. While my mother was studying my grandparents cared for me. My mother did not neglect me but regretted that she could not give me all ...
A. 6 May 2015: How will you handle things when one of you starts to feel jealous of the other or one of you wants him exclusively?
Your Mother coveted what you had and felt envious. What she did next was that she over-stepped the boundaries too far, by asking t... (read in full...)
Help needed for a lonely stoner couple desperate to change
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have lived together for 3. I moved away from my hometown to live with him in a little village in the countryside. Up until last year we were in a terrible place, both miserable chronic weed addicts ...
A. 5 May 2015: First of all be very proud of yourself. You are recognizing a problem and you are indicating that you want to do something about it. That takes strength.
You have the great and extensive resources of TalkToFrank in the UK.
Here are some links t... (read in full...)
Have a crush but I don't know if he's gay, what do I do?
Q. ok so i am 13 and i have a major crush on a guy im bi-sexual. i have a girlfriend but i really like him he is so hot but theres a problem, we dont know each other too well and i have 1 period with him in which we are across the room from each other! ...
A. 3 May 2015: Once a secret is shared it is no longer a secret. You don't know him well enough to be able to trust his reaction; plus he may not be as sure as you about his orientation.
Since you are not too keen on your likes and orientation being spread arou... (read in full...)
Am I fit for marriage? My anxiety over my penis size is worrying me. Don't want my bride disappointed in me.
Q. Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, Im from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl who is 26 in 2 months. From the date of my engagement im worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.2 to 5.5 inch. When i measure from...
A. 3 May 2015: Any male has a high chance of getting a girl pregnant, regardless of the size (whatever size) of his penis.
Glad the answers allowed you to feel less anxious.
According to the livescience web page: "In fact, the average male will produce roug... (read in full...)
Am I fit for marriage? My anxiety over my penis size is worrying me. Don't want my bride disappointed in me.
Q. Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, Im from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl who is 26 in 2 months. From the date of my engagement im worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.2 to 5.5 inch. When i measure from...
A. 2 May 2015: You sound utterly normal. There are woman who are terrified that their husband's penis will be too large.
Rather than focus on the penis focus on how much effort you will put into foreplay and relaxing your wife.
Some men erroneously think the peni... (read in full...)
Why do women expect men to be mind readers?
Q. Why do women expect men to be mind readers? My wife has been grousing around lately. She finally erupted, "Just once I'd like to come home and find you made the salad for dinner!" "You want a salad? Call/text/e-mail and it's yours!...
A. 29 April 2015: What a beautiful question.
Not everyone feels this way.
Though you are correct that a lot of ladys DO expect this level of mind reading and that is not fair. It causes great resentment and can result in the guy choosing to stop buying any present.... (read in full...)
Is this verbal abuse? Are we just not right for each other?
Q. I am on the fence about the man I have been in a relationship with for 2 years. I don’t know whether I am wanting to get out of the relationship too soon or if am avoiding the warning signs of what could be verbal abuse. Background Sto...
A. 28 April 2015: you think he is bad now? Once he realizes that you are leaving then you will see real fury.
That is why you do NOT tell him you are leaving.
Currently you are his verbal punching bag, the payer of the rent, the maker of the meals, the victim h... (read in full...)
Yes, there's depression (being medicated). And the desire to be more positive. So how do I get a more positive outlook?
Q. How do I get a more positive outlook on life? I am twenty years old and I am struggling with severe depression. I currently work in administration with no hopes of furthering my career as my job contract ends here soon, and before that I have alw...
A. 28 April 2015: I have seen and supported family with depression. I have seen how hard it is to see anything positive amongst all the sights, smells, sounds, loved ones, and everything positive surrounding them.
Because depression is a horrible illness. A person... (read in full...)
Yes, there's depression (being medicated). And the desire to be more positive. So how do I get a more positive outlook?
Q. How do I get a more positive outlook on life? I am twenty years old and I am struggling with severe depression. I currently work in administration with no hopes of furthering my career as my job contract ends here soon, and before that I have alw...
A. 27 April 2015: First and foremost I suggest that you make an appointment with your doctor to advise your doctor that the medication is not working. Some tweaking of the medication is often needed after a while. And is likely to result in some small improvements to ... (read in full...)
I don't want this to happen in real life. But am I normal to have these secret fantasies about my wife?
Q. I have a wife and am happily married but during my own time I'm constantly fantasizing about her having sex with other men, particularly big black men. It turns me on thinking that she is enjoying/ pleased more especially as they have a bigger p...
A. 27 April 2015: Hi
You are utterly normal.
And people who give themselves permission to imagine and explore (in their minds) their fantasy through their minds often make better lovers as they are willing to relax enough to introduce a little fantasy.
... (read in full...)
I am 43 and I would like to have a baby.
Q. I am 43 and would like to have a baby for the first time. I was married for 15 years but didn't try for a baby because my ex husband didn't want one. Since we divorced 5 years ago I hadn't met anyone with whom I could imagine having a child and ...
A. 27 April 2015: Hi,
Before you start trying to have a baby naturally do consult with a gynecologist and explore the possibility of the medical specialists harvesting a few eggs. Because every month you will lose a few more eggs. If natural conception does not occu... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong make up an alternative story for officials about how we met? She is my fiancée and we met via webcam. She was a webcam model.
Q. I met a woman. She was a webcam model. We fell in love, got engaged, and now are planning weddings. She is from Russia, me USA. We applied for fiancé visa and have the interview next week in Moscow. They will also ask us how we met, but we ar...
A. 26 April 2015: Stick to the truth. In any case in order to leave Russia your fiancée will have to supply details of her past employment to the Russian officials, as a requirement before she can leave Russia.
Officials (US and Russian) have heard every possible... (read in full...)
Will my fiance from another country be able to accept my culture? I think he's jealous
Q. Will my overseas born fiance be able to accept my American culture? He is so very loyal and romantic and attentive to me. I'm really in love with him. I think it's a miracle to find love halfway across the planet. I'm in the u.s. and he's from an...
A. 25 April 2015: And if you scroll down in this Free .pdf http://elmaton1.webs.com/cwpp.slq.qld.gov.aubbabook.pdf
you will find, towards the end, Robyn Mann's "chapter 7" where Biderman's chart of Coercion is reproduced.
Biderman's Chart of Coercion is worth pri... (read in full...)
Will my fiance from another country be able to accept my culture? I think he's jealous
Q. Will my overseas born fiance be able to accept my American culture? He is so very loyal and romantic and attentive to me. I'm really in love with him. I think it's a miracle to find love halfway across the planet. I'm in the u.s. and he's from an...
A. 25 April 2015: it matters what country the man comes from for there are aspects that people can focus on and claim that the culture is the same for all people in that culture.
Our prejudices are often formed about different cultures due to what the media ch... (read in full...)
What is the meaning of different ways people greet each in a bowling environment. Is it just for fun or a form of flirting?
Q. What does it mean in a bowling league environment where everyone else is doing high fives (strikes or difficult spares picked up), or fist bumps (spares not made), that most of the times my partner (who started out as a sub and I don't know real ...
A. 23 April 2015: If you submit any follows up here you can clarify the issues that are a real concern to you.
Issues that were not fully explained the first time.
Now that you have posted the first follow up with the revised detail people will respond acco... (read in full...)
What does a nurse feel when she sees a penis - how should boyfriend react
Q. My girlfriend is a nurse practioner student and I’m struggling to get used to a few things. When she exam on the teaching patient and told me about how she palpated the penis it was a bit awkward. Just recently, during her clinicals (sort of ...
A. 22 April 2015: She's your girlfriend and partners when they are happy want to share their happiness with their beloved. She trusted that you would be as excited as her about her progression in the things she is learning.
To her, when examining a patient/... (read in full...)
Sharing and Caring? A time for advice that is empathic, not judgemental? Some notable differences I've noticed that have saddened me. Can this be addressed?
Q. This is not really a question as it is a suggestion for this site that I would like to share. I've been visiting this site on and off periodically for several years. And because my visits here are intermittent and sporadic, I never made my own prof...
A. 21 April 2015: I thought it might be useful to add the Guidelines to this article and dissect each guideline, line by line. Thus I will put my comments in (brackets) at the end of each guideline
DearCupid posting guidelines
DearCupid aims to provide a safe c... (read in full...)
Doing things we shouldn't do, and I feel bad about that. He's been prosecuted and I suffered domestic violence. Will people ever learn to trust us again?.
Q. Modnote: DearCupid does not condone the use of illicit drugs. But you clearly feel bad about using illicit drugs and have promised to stop. Seems that you really do need some advice, despite your past use of illicit substances, when feeling under ...
A. 20 April 2015: it is not going to be easy.
Immerse yourself in www.talktofrank.com/
and do not come up with excuses about how you do not want to / do not like the counsellor or whatever excuse you want to try.
Consider going along to Alcoholics anonymous... (read in full...)
My online girlfriend got married, should I leave her?
Q. Should I leave my online GF of almost 3 years, after finding out she is married just a few months ago? she has 2 children at home,and she can't really talk or email because her husband is around,and we haven't spoke by phone since January,and not a ...
A. 19 April 2015: I guess CMMP may be using the irony font today?
because I'm sure CMMP would not be suggesting you enter into a bigamous marriage ? She is already spoken for.
I think it best that you develop your social networks closer to home. Sadly this... (read in full...)
The perills of looking young
Q. Many people have insecurites or issues with aspects of their looks or personality. Often its the most insignificant details that makes us become the most obssessional. Whether it be our height, figure, complexion, breast size/shape or our weight, ...
A. 19 April 2015: 1.
public speaking training will develop your inner confidence. the first meeting will be a challenge. from then on you will only get better. I am suggesting an organization that is well respected in the field, namely:
http:... (read in full...)
Do I try to convince my boyfriend that he still loves me?
Q. Yesterday my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. It is all rather confusing. But this week I saw a girl had been texting him and he was trying to bring up her self esteem by calling her hot but I saw it as flirtatious. We met up and we made up. ...
A. 18 April 2015: One year together and he's already noticed someone else ?
He is hedging his bets just in case he and the later girl don't work out. do not wait around for him. He is showing you no respect at all.
You should not even consider wasting your time, w... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't treat me the same as my brother
Q. EVER since I can remember my mom has always treated me different from my brother. I'm 19 and he's 21 and we both have daughters now. When I wanted something as a kid I always had to beg but when my brother asked it was so easily given. I've told her ...
A. 16 April 2015: I believe you. You have seen, experienced too many instances over the years to have misjudged the clues.
You would not be the first person to see or experience or hear such evidence.
It is hurtful, and it is not as rare as some people think.
... (read in full...)
Random Girl In Library Was Rude To Me - How Would You Have Reacted?
Q. I walked into my library a few hours ago and sat down at a long study desk (there's a row of chairs where people can sit) next to some random other girl (it's busy today so there aren't many spaces left). I noticed her staring at me the whole time I ...
A. 15 April 2015: hi,
No I would not have said anything.
Maybe she thinks of that area of the Library as ''her'' table? And did not want to share the space with anyone?
This is probably not the first time she's been rude to someone.
Sadly, some disagreea... (read in full...)
A friend of two years, do I let go or keep trying?
Q. Heya all help needed... I've been mates with this boy for 2 years and we have shared so many memories and we were like bro and sis! He decided to stop talking to me and started making up all these excuses on what i have done and we haven't talked i...
A. 15 April 2015: Distance yourself from this immature boy. He is not behaving like a friend. For whatever reason he is behaving badly.
He cannot take away your good memories. Just cherish the good memories and set them aside. He is not that person anymore.
At ... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 14 April 2015: She turned to you when she was upset. She liked your song. Please do not give up on her. If he is controlling then hopefully she will see through him in time.
He does not control the relationship memories you had in the past. If they are arguing ... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 13 April 2015: Excellent sign that she called you. That is great.
you must have felt good about that.
Do you have enough good memories to sustain one message a week or one a fortnight or one a month?
Be consistent.
If she does not say "stop" then continue... (read in full...)
Do girls enjoy having their bodies rubbed with other men in crowded bus?
Q. Before I continue, I want you to know that I am around 19 and an attractive male. People and friends adore me every now and then, I don't have girlfriend though and don't even have female friends. The reason for all that is I am shy and not much ...
A. 13 April 2015: I've finally managed to remove myself from ROFLMAO at Sage Old Guy - thank you for your post. Because SageOldGuy explained how it is, very well.
I regard it as creepy. I was in a very large crowd one day. It really was standing room only. Th... (read in full...)
Do I try to convince my boyfriend that he still loves me?
Q. Yesterday my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. It is all rather confusing. But this week I saw a girl had been texting him and he was trying to bring up her self esteem by calling her hot but I saw it as flirtatious. We met up and we made up. ...
A. 12 April 2015: I have to agree that messaging a girl to tell her that she's ''hot'' is an opening bid in his quest for her.
Sadly i feel that he's come to the point where he feels he's climbed the mountain with you, and once he reached that point he scanned the ... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 12 April 2015: Hi
Not so good for you, sadly. That is a brush off.
However you do say that you do have qualities that surpass him.
The only thing is to stay a gentleman with her. Anything that looks like you are withdrawing from her will make the other g... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 12 April 2015: hi
if she is not yet responding?
of course she does have a right to not respond.
you cannot make her respond.
but you can remain hopeful and courteous.
let's see how she reacts to a light and sweet short note (the .pdf) before I say more.
... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 12 April 2015: Do not get a third party to do it for you. That will ruin the connection completely.
Do you have her email?
Then write the letter in your own handwriting. sign it.
Scan it as a .pdf
Attach it to an email.
Her email ONLY.
Then send her a cover... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 April 2015: Well I just realized that GeeGee255 's article is so good that I have recommended it twice. That's what happens to really good articles. They are enduring. Wise advice is worth sharing with others.
And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 12 April 2015: Hi,
OK, trust your gut on this one.
Definitely do some test runs.
Definitely write out something and re-read it the next day. Sleep on it. Then decide.
And so perhaps test the water with something charming that was special and made her very ha... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 11 April 2015: Think about writing her a beautiful letter (or poem if you are especially gifted).
Create it yourself - don't get a slick professional writer to do it for you.
Write from the heart.
But include nothing that would be too much, if read by her gran... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 11 April 2015: As a Post script you can remind her that you were a youth when this relationship started but you are now a man. That you can improve even further.
But still remain respectful of the fact that she has advised that she does have feelings for the othe... (read in full...)
I know I was a fool for ignoring her back then, but is it really too late?
Q. i was in a relationship(long distance) for 3 yrs everything was fine and then there came a hard time for me..i really didn't had any idea how to cope with the things that were going around..but it started to affect my relationship also, i barely ...
A. 11 April 2015: You are still relatively young and you sound very sincere. Her family no doubt knew that she suffered from your carelessness in not keeping her informed.
I am answering this question while keeping in mind your culture. I know that in Indian c... (read in full...)
Sharing and Caring? A time for advice that is empathic, not judgemental? Some notable differences I've noticed that have saddened me. Can this be addressed?
Q. This is not really a question as it is a suggestion for this site that I would like to share. I've been visiting this site on and off periodically for several years. And because my visits here are intermittent and sporadic, I never made my own prof...
A. 9 April 2015: You did not single out any Aunt nor Uncle which was diplomatic of you.
You enjoyed using Dear Cupid as a site and you know that many have benefited. I am sure that dearcupid.org also benefits from you thinking things through so thoughtf... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 30 March 2015: We all mature a little more along the ways.
The joys of discovery do change a little along the way.
But YES you can find love and joy again in your 20, 30s,40, 50s and so on.
At 20 you are no long an uneasy 15 year old.
At 30 you have learnt more... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 28 March 2015: First and foremost I would like to see you embrace liking and valuing you.
Because you certainly DO deserve better than to put up with a cheating girlfriend.
And NO it is never too late. I once lived next to a lovely man who emigrated fr... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 24 February 2015: Looking much younger than your chronological age. What a great article
One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
The perills of looking young
Q. Many people have insecurites or issues with aspects of their looks or personality. Often its the most insignificant details that makes us become the most obssessional. Whether it be our height, figure, complexion, breast size/shape or our weight, ...
A. 23 February 2015: Great article. Liked it very much. Well thought out content and it's true, true, true.
I am about to cite two examples of people I have worked with who have faced these challenges and have gone on to greater things.
The first is ''E'' who is ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2014: Always on the lookout for new good articles to group together in this archive of great articles on dearCupid.org. It makes it easier to find the articles so that I can recommend the articles to others .
Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame.
It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
