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Why should you listen to my advice: If I give you it, it means I probably have experience with the situation/problem you're having
Location: Oxford - UK
Currently: Single
Profile updated: 25th of July 2008.
I'm Andy. I'm a loving, caring, romantic guy.. yet, that didn't avoid my first taste of a broken heart.
I was in a long distance relationship (240 miles) for over two years. I met my girlfriend originally in December 2004 over the webiste Habbo Hotel, she found me purely because she liked my hair. We ended up talking every night over MSN. By April, she revealed that she liked me, and very soon after, I decided I felt the same way.
On the 10th of July 2005, we met in her home town. I remember getting off the train, and she was stood right down the other end of the platform, and ran towards me at full speed. At first sight of her with my own eye, I felt a large thump right in the center of my chest. I threw my bags down, and she dove into my arms for the first time. Later that day, after 3 hours of being crowded by her sister and mum, we got our first minutes alone, and kissed for the first time. In my case, it was my first kiss ever. It was magic.
We met up on 13 different occaisions, including a couple of camping trips alone together. Then just before Easter 2007, she came along on a family holiday to Cuba which I hoped would be one of many happy times I could give to her, this was the only thing I wanted to make her; Happy, and I would have gone to absolutely any extent to give her that... But I was unaware that everything was about to change.
On the 25th of June, just over 2 weeks before the anniversary of the day that we met on that wonderful Summers day at the train station, 5 weeks before we were scheduled to meet up again; She rang me up in floods of tears and told me that she thought we should end things. I was completely devastated, and in some ways, that devastation remains. She told me her decision came due to the fact that she didn't think we would have as much time to meet up when she went to University, and that things were hard enough as they were. Also, we had argued over stupid things a little more regularly, but I didn't think it was any thing worse than what all couples encounter. I hadn't fallen out of love with her, but she now expected me to do so and become just a friend.
We seemed to have something wonderful going. I was so sure that we were proving everybody who first doubted us wrong. Instead of talking every night, we have gone back and forth from talking to not talking. Anytime I spoke to her, after a few days I would start to miss her. Her father passed away on the 8th of December 2007. SInce then I told her that I would try and support her like a friend should during that time of sadness, but it didn't take long for me to start avoiding her again. I felt bad for it. She wanted to be my friend, and I wanted to be more than her friend. I was crushed by what she had put me through. We haven't spoken for about 3 months. I still don't know if I'm happy about that. I still miss talking to her, but now I'm determined to move on and find somebody better to share my life with, if only for a little while. Maybe once I have achieved this, or once I have completely lost my feelings for her, I'll be able to be her friend again.
Time will tell, and time heals all wounds. |
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| Latest articles: The Last Laugh... Is it really on me? ;)
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hi, it's Andy00. I just thought I would share something with all of you. As you all know, I went through a horrible case of heartbreak 10 months ago, after my distance relationship was cut off by the girl I love (it still hurts to this day). But h...
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2008: Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 February 2008: Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
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My BF doesn't work and is immature, the new guy is a drug dealer. Who do I choose?
Q. ok i got a problem...ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and i love him to death, but he dont work he is kinda immatuire and we fight about stupid things...well i met this other guy he is so sweet to me he is all i think about he does everything ...
A. 30 June 2008: It's clear that you find major faults with both guys. So why should you choose between the two? You have two low-life's in your life currently. Why not wait for a guy who shares the same qualities of BOTH guys, AND has a (legal) occupation?
Don't... (read in full...)
My brother and his girlfriend had a baby. I want one so much...
Q. ok my brother and his girl just had a baby and i love her dearly and i want one but you see im only 13 and they live far away so i dont get to see her that much and i really want one what should i do ...
A. 30 June 2008: Given your age, it's understandable why you feel the way you do. But you must remember that you are not the one that has to look after the baby every hour of every day. You're just the young aunt. All you have to do is hold and play with it for as ... (read in full...)
I've missed coursework deadlines and now I'm worried my overall grade may suffer. How can I calm myself down??
Q. Hello all. This may not be a relationship question, but I could really use your advice. All of my college assignments must be handed in by Monday afternoon. I have been a good student. I've put a lot of effort into my work over the past 2 years...
A. 14 June 2008: I did eventually get to sleep last night. These answers were a nice thing to wake up to. If I had time maybe I'd go to a remedy store, but I'm short of it as you know. Still, a very good suggestion.
I will just have to wait and see what happens ... (read in full...)
The Last Laugh... Is it really on me? ;)
Q. Hi, it's Andy00. I just thought I would share something with all of you. As you all know, I went through a horrible case of heartbreak 10 months ago, after my distance relationship was cut off by the girl I love (it still hurts to this day). But h...
A. 23 April 2008: Just wanted to thank you all for your kind comments. It makes me proud that people are enjoying my work :)... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: New feature, "watched questions" list
Q. I've added a new feature that lets you add questions to your "watched questions" page. It's just an easy way to make a list of questions that interest you and that you want to keep track of. It's easy to remove items from the list or clear it. ...
A. 18 April 2008: Just had a look it Andrew. Seems like a good feature. This site is getting better and better! :)... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 15 April 2008: "I know what your going through"
...I'm better now. Lol! It was 4 months ago. But in all seriousness, I will keep your advice in mind for the future. Cheers!... (read in full...)
He says he can 'never get close enough to me' while cuddling, is this a bad thing?
Q. i was led in bed with my boyfriend yesterday morning and we were cuddling. He then asked me to lay on top of him so he could use me as a blanket (its a joke we have between us) and so we were cuddling like that and he then said to me ... "i dont k...
A. 11 April 2008: Good thing, surely! I once said something very similar when with somebody I loved while we were cuddling. It was actually quite physical. We kept pushing our bodies closer together (at this stage, we had agreed that we wouldn't have sex so soon in ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Over half a million visitors in March!
Q. I'm pleased to say that according to Google Analytics, March 08 was the busiest month ever for Dear Cupid! We had 519,747 unique visitors (i.e. people!) visit the site from 1st March 08 to 31st March 08 inclusive. Over HALF A MILLION people.... ...
A. 4 April 2008: Excellent statistic. Congratz!... (read in full...)
Here's a question for the men... can you ever see yourselves settling down with just ONE woman???
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months, and it's become a bit serious in the past 2 or 3. We see each other every night and make love all the time. We have said "I love you" and he's even starting talking about me being "the one"- like the one ...
A. 30 March 2008: I'm sorry to say this, but the man is a fool. What he said, to you especially, was horrible. He's shown you signs that he believes that all men cheat, and that of course includes him. Whether those are his beliefs or not, it isn't true, but I think ... (read in full...)
I need a boyfriend and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hey I am 13 and I have never had a boyfriend. I don't know what to do. Please help me....
A. 25 March 2008: Ahhh, wishing for partnership. I know that feeling!
I was like you. Perhaps even a little older than you when I first felt like that. At 15 certainly I would have given anything to have been in a relationship. I had never been in one. I didn't h... (read in full...)
What's 'cowgirl' please?
Q. Hi, Just a quick question.....What's cowgirl position? Is it like "French carriage to Lyon" due to the bumpy road which lead from Paris to Lyon. Anyway......I dare say I've just realised that I've become old...........thank you all. ...
A. 25 March 2008: Uncle Phil is quite right. "Cowgirl" is when the woman is on top, facing the man, and on her knees. There is also "Reverse Cowgirl" which is the same thing, only the woman faces the other way.... (read in full...)
Do you think he's gross to like me?
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl, well I'm almost 14. Recently since I've been on msn, someone added me on their list. I accepted them because I might know the person. I asked them who they were. He said his name and that he was 26. I told him I was 13. Don't ...
A. 25 March 2008: Personally, I do. If you were older, say, if you were say; 22 and this guy was 35 maybe this would be acceptable, but given that you're only 13 and he's double your age, this guy should be avoided. Be friends with him online by all means, but I urge ... (read in full...)
Why do guys break up with their girlfriends once they are comfortable?
Q. hello guys. I have always wondered why men always break up with their girlfriends once they get settled into a relationship. I'd like guys view on this....
A. 22 March 2008: Yes, that is probably true to some extent. Some guys do get bored with relationships, or they don't want to get tied down. Personally, I would love to find myself in a "settled" relationship again, and if I did, I certainly wouldn't be the sort to ... (read in full...)
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
Q. Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
A. 22 March 2008: Oh man! More coincidences: When I woke up this morning and it was snowing! TYPICAL!! It never snows here, and yet, one year to the day, I wake up to a snow shower. Unbelievable.... (read in full...)
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
Q. Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
A. 22 March 2008: Thank-you.
I guess sometimes things simply aren't meant to be. Unfortunately, that won't be much comfort when I go to my empty bed tonight. Atleast I've gotten used to that.... (read in full...)
My first love cheated on me and then dumped me... I'm so clueless!
Q. I really don't know what to do...My ex boyfriend cheated on me 3 times and then dumped me. He was the first guy I have been in love with and it has been 5 months since we broke up and I am still not over him and I constantly think about him, I ...
A. 17 March 2008: My strong advice would be; don't give up on guys. A guy wouldn't be good for you at this specific moment in time, but don't let one bad experience make you give up on guys altogether.
First love or not, I'm afraid he was a bad apple. I understa... (read in full...)
Unique appearance vs. Attracting women
Q. Unique appearance vs. Attracting women. Is this why I can't get a girlfriend? Hi. Most of you by now will have seen my avatar. I have an afro. I like my hair. I feel like it adds more to my character. Unfortunately, I don't feel attr...
A. 16 March 2008: Well, this has given me a slightly more positive outlook. Thank-you.
After all that has been said here, it's reassurance that I will find somebody who will like my hair again. But another girl who I'll love as much as my ex still feels like a w... (read in full...)
He's not affectionate and I love it! I want more and he's pulling away..what can we do?
Q. Hi hope you all can help as I'm feeling pretty down right now. Basically I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months. He is wonderful we have the exact same sense of humour, similar interests, similar tastes, we basically on the outside looking ...
A. 15 March 2008: My ex-girlfriend was the same (Don't think that I'm just saying that to take the spotlight off of unaffectionate guys!). I felt myself showering her with affection all the time, and would rarely get the same thing back. Not even when we spoke on the ... (read in full...)
Unique appearance vs. Attracting women
Q. Unique appearance vs. Attracting women. Is this why I can't get a girlfriend? Hi. Most of you by now will have seen my avatar. I have an afro. I like my hair. I feel like it adds more to my character. Unfortunately, I don't feel attr...
A. 15 March 2008: Another point about why keeping my hair seems almost necessary is that, as a musician in a band, it is good to have something that makes you stand out amongst others. In music, it is very hard to get the attention of the people as there is so much ... (read in full...)
Meeting with my ex's friend for the first time in nearly a year.
Q. Hi everyone. Tomorrow I am going to a university for an interview. This university is located about 50 miles from where I first met my long distance (240 miles) first love at a train station in her home town 3 years ago this summer. She brok...
A. 11 March 2008: It went well, thanks.
After my interview (which went pretty well I think), my dad drove me to where we arranged to meet, and she was already there waiting. After chatting for a little bit, my dad decided we should maybe all go for a drink. I... (read in full...)
Meeting with my ex's friend for the first time in nearly a year.
Q. Hi everyone. Tomorrow I am going to a university for an interview. This university is located about 50 miles from where I first met my long distance (240 miles) first love at a train station in her home town 3 years ago this summer. She brok...
A. 11 March 2008: Well, I'm leaving very soon. Thanks anyway.... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 24 February 2008: R&B, I'm sorry. What you're saying is making a lot more sense now that you have explained it a little more. I'm very thankful that you want to help me through this. I hope you will continue to do so. Take care.... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 23 February 2008: Hi rhythmandblues. I do appreciate the words of encouragement, but I think you have misunderstood me in places, as well as assumed things which are false. "I must find a way to stop her" means that I must find a way to stop MYSELF from ruining my ... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 23 February 2008: Gosh, so many people think I'm a great guy. It's a comfort I must say.
Do you really think I've gotten better in the past 8 months? (it'll be 8 months on monday. She broke up with me on a monday). I've not contacted her for about a week now. Whe... (read in full...)
Why do long term relationships end?
Q. Hello, Andy00 here. First, I want to suggest that nobody here answer this question if they think that they will just be opening up old wounds. Most of you know that my long distance relationship (2 years) disbanded (she dumped me) almost...
A. 22 February 2008: I should explain, because I think some of you... Danielepew atleast, misunderstand me. "I have since been with somebody new, but only for a very short time". This is because we broke up. It only lasted 3 weeks.
To everyone who calls me a thinker,... (read in full...)
I can't get the fact that she went to a 'naked party' out of my head.
Q. I'm having a real problem getting my girlfriend's past out of my head. I know there have been some other questions like this on the board, but nothing that really matches. Basically, I've been dating a wonderful woman for three months. She's am...
A. 21 February 2008: I sort of know what you mean, but there is a key difference between you and myself: You're still with her!! A few months or so after my ex broke up with me, I found out she had played strip poker with a bunch of people (guys included) within WEEKS ... (read in full...)
I need to become more organized! Does anybody have any organization tips?
Q. Can somebody please tell me how I can get better organized?? I'm in for a terrible evening. My parents are always telling me that I need to get much better at organizing myself, and tonight I may have messed up big time! Tomorrow I'm suppose to g...
A. 20 February 2008: Well folks, I got a miracle!
On the way to the Uni, I finally received a call from them, and from there they told me that it would still be possible for me to audition. So everything went to plan in the end, I just need to get myself better o... (read in full...)
It's all sex and no foreplay, but I don't know how to ask for more!
Q. Don't get me wrong, I love having sex with my long term boyfriend, it's just simply amazing, but we end up having it every day. We usually have it for about 2 or 3 hours as well, so not only do I get tired but my lower region does too. Also, he thin...
A. 19 February 2008: You say you can't bring yourself to tell him, but don't you think you will have wished you told him, after he gets you pregnant? I'm not saying he will, but in not telling him, you are taking a risk!
Think of the benefits in telling him! There ar... (read in full...)
My ex may have a new guy, and I fear they slept together yesterday. How can I stop torturing myself??
Q. Since I found out my ex has met somebody new, I just can't get her out of my head... AGAIN!! We hadn't spoken for a long time, but about a week ago, we got back into the habit of talking to eachother again. We had done this before, but last...
A. 17 February 2008: The way you offer advice "Dr" is just appalling. There are plenty of ways for you to make your point, but you choose the one that makes you sound the most like... See? I could have said ANYTHING under the sun just then, but I'm not gonna because I'd ... (read in full...)
My ex may have a new guy, and I fear they slept together yesterday. How can I stop torturing myself??
Q. Since I found out my ex has met somebody new, I just can't get her out of my head... AGAIN!! We hadn't spoken for a long time, but about a week ago, we got back into the habit of talking to eachother again. We had done this before, but last...
A. 17 February 2008: Does everybody think that she is just trying to mess with me? She seems genuine to me, and I wouldn't think that she would try and cause me any pain. I believe her intentions are good, but doesn't realize that she is causing me pain. Please tell me ... (read in full...)
My ex may have a new guy, and I fear they slept together yesterday. How can I stop torturing myself??
Q. Since I found out my ex has met somebody new, I just can't get her out of my head... AGAIN!! We hadn't spoken for a long time, but about a week ago, we got back into the habit of talking to eachother again. We had done this before, but last...
A. 16 February 2008: What is your problem Dr Vendetta?? You know little about this situation and offer me no advice at all! You just tell me stuff that I don't want to hear regardless of whether it's true or not. How could you do that?? :(
Thank you to those who have... (read in full...)
Site News: We hit another milestone :-)
Q. For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...
A. 13 February 2008: Oh, well in that case, that's great news! :)... (read in full...)
Site News: We hit another milestone :-)
Q. For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...
A. 13 February 2008: That's a big improvement, Andrew, Congratulations. So, do you think the site has improved? I'll admit that the moderation idea has allowed questions and answers to be delivered much more quickly. The only thing I think hasn't improved in that... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged or married... but I suspect my bf will propose soon. Afraid of hurting him!
Q. I havn't been with my bf for very long now, but I love him and he's great. The thing is he tends to be more serious about the relationship that me...Don't get me wrong I am committed and everything, but I'm not planning my enitre future with him ...
A. 13 February 2008: Best of luck! Glad I could help. Let me know what happens :)... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged or married... but I suspect my bf will propose soon. Afraid of hurting him!
Q. I havn't been with my bf for very long now, but I love him and he's great. The thing is he tends to be more serious about the relationship that me...Don't get me wrong I am committed and everything, but I'm not planning my enitre future with him ...
A. 12 February 2008: Hmmm. If you're suspicious, the time to act is now!! Especially if you think he will do it on Valentines day. I guess you have to ask yourself; which would be worse?: A) You sit him down, talk about your relationship and give him a hint that while ... (read in full...)
Will she like the gift even though she dislikes Valentine's Day?
Q. Hi. last week i bought my girlfriend a valentines teddy bear and the other day she said to me that she doesn't like valentines day. I really want to give her the gift but i'm not sure how she will react when i give it to her. Personally i think she ...
A. 12 February 2008: I think you've done exactly as I would have done. It's a lovely gesture. Even if she doesn't believe in the day itself, I'm sure she will have nothing but warm feelings of you after you give your gift to her. When you present her with it, simply ... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 12 February 2008: I'd like to thank both of you or your support.
anon e mouse, I will look back at your article it I need something to put things into perspective for me, and eyeswideopen, I just want to thank you for your continued support. It's something you have... (read in full...)
Back in contact with my ex for the 3rd time. I don't want to cut contact with her again, but I DO want to move on. What can I do?
Q. Hello. I'm trying to be friends with my ex-girlfriend. This is the 3rd time that I have tried to keep contact with her, because every other time I tried I've ended up avoiding her, because I've been too upset. We spoke properly for the first ti...
A. 10 February 2008: Thanks for the answer. I'd like you to message me. Maybe we can get some of this stuff off both our chests, so please message me if you're interested.... (read in full...)
Back in contact with my ex for the 3rd time. I don't want to cut contact with her again, but I DO want to move on. What can I do?
Q. Hello. I'm trying to be friends with my ex-girlfriend. This is the 3rd time that I have tried to keep contact with her, because every other time I tried I've ended up avoiding her, because I've been too upset. We spoke properly for the first ti...
A. 10 February 2008: Hmmm, well, I told her how I felt a couple of months ago. Nothing has really changed since then, only I'm now open to the idea of meeting somebody new. Before when I asked her what the chances were of us having something in the future her answer was ... (read in full...)
Will my ex-girlfriend come back to me?
Q. Will my ex girlfriend come back to me? She told me that she was not in love with me and was over me. She started talking to this guy in her dorm. I love her and i did beg for her to come back. But i think that is why she told me she was not in l...
A. 3 February 2008: You're at the first stage, my friend; Denial. It's normal. You're thinking this is only a temporary thing, because she has other things on her mind. She hasn't just said that she wants to break up, she has told you that she doesn't love you anymore. ... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 20 December 2007: Well, that's it. It's over. I've done it.
It was okay apparently. I know I messed up a few times, but my mistakes were more instrumental than vocal. I've yet to watch the tape back, but I'll judge it for myself, and maybe upload it for all of y... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 20 December 2007: Thanks for the continued advice, but I'm freaking out just now. It's nearly 20 minutes to 3am, and I can't sleep because (guess what!) I'M COUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY!! What the hell is going on? I've felt way better today, and the night has brought me ... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi everyone, so tomorrow is the night!
I've felt my voice returning quite rapidly over these past couple of days. I'm hoping it will be fine for my performance tomorrow! Not completely healed, but in decent enough condition. I still can't hit cert... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 17 December 2007: Richard, no offense, but it's a bit late for that, don't you think? lol. We perform in 2 days, and we have no practice sessions left. It's do or die, I'm afraid.... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 17 December 2007: I'd just like to thank everybody for the advice. I have taken to sipping from a jar of Honey occasionally (which feels about as disgusting as it sounds) and that's helping. I'm also taking cough syrup and nurofen, along with having about a pack of ... (read in full...)
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