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Frank Kermit, MA is an Expert Relationship and Dating Coach. He is a Best Selling Author, educator, and regular media correspondent.

He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, to be applied to ongoing loving relationships. In 2011, Frank completed an Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling and in 2014 completed a certificate in Hypnotherapy.

Frank Kermit has a newsletters that the public can sign up for:

http://www.franktalks.com/newsletter/ (upcoming media spots)

and when you sign up, you get a 400+ page ebook for free (a collection of 100 of Frank's best articles)

Frank answers public questions on dearcupid.org when and IF he has the time. Please understand that Frank makes a professional living through his Date Coaching, and therefore his private paying clients must come first. Frank does not answer private questions received on dearcupid.org unless you want to hire him for some private one on one coaching via skype or over the phone. You can learn more about Frank's Coaching services at www.franktalks.com/

Latest articles:

Off Limits Dating

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18 September 2013: Is Someone Off Limits for Dating? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Mastering the art of dating requires a number of skills such as being socially calibrated, effective communication and knowing what you want. One of the areas that comes up for ...

How to Deal with a Toxic Person

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18 September 2013: The Best Way To Deal With Toxic People By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Toxic people are defined in this article as people who lack the capacity to reason, or people have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you. In t...

A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce

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31 August 2013: A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships One of the ironies of couples counseling that I often find myself doing is taking the couple through the pre-marital coaching process when they may already be...

A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

31 August 2013: A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...

The Wedding Speech

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26 July 2013: The Wedding Speech Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the dresses and suits, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that...

Sexually Incompatible Couples

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19 July 2013: Sexually Incompatible Couples Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. However, couples who love each other dearly and connect on so many levels, but whom are sexually incompatible tend to find that sex can be at the core of a numb...

Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2

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28 June 2013: Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2 Separation does not automatically lead to divorce unless you let it. It is up to you and your partner to put in the work so that it does not happen. In the event you are the only one trying to work on yourself and ...

Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2

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22 June 2013: Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2 One of the most damaging actions an individual can take is to start dating someone new when going through a separation with their serious long term partner (spouse, common-law partner or a defacto-union). When I use ...

The Frank Break Up Formula

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14 June 2013: The Frank Break Up Formula By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the ...

The Frank Romance Formula part 3 of 3

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8 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 3 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...

The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 of 3

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3 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...

The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 May 2013: The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...

The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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27 April 2013: The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Sometimes life will slap you down when it has a lesson to teach you. For some people, the slap may be a light swat, and for others the slap has to be a severe smack down. ...

Dating With Disabilities

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5 April 2013: Dating With Disabilities by Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly all...

Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen

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21 March 2013: Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Rejection is the worst best thing that can ever happen to you. Managing rejection is a necessary part in managing your love life. Over the course of your ...

Things they do not tell you about having kids

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 March 2013: Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...

When Friendship Is Meaningless

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8 March 2013: Friendship Is Meaningless Stop Hanging Out With Friends Who Sexually Reject You By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Friendship is meaningless. There I said it. Now before you shoot one of your nasty emails to the editor, actually read this colum...

Who Cares What People Think? Depends...

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 March 2013: How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...

Learn How to Choose the Right Fights!

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21 February 2013: Pick And Choose Your Fights By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Fighting in relationships is normal. The issue is not whether you fight. The issue is HOW a couple fights. Do they talk out their disagreements? Do they wait until they are alon...

Starting Over After V-day?

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14 February 2013: Starting Over? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Valentine’s day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to...

A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best

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6 February 2013: A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best By Frank Kermit, Relationships At my weekly relationship workshop last Saturday I issued one of my famous “Frankisms” that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying...

Asking Hard Questions

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1 February 2013: Asking Hard Questions By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships When trying to decide if you should be committed to someone, moving in with someone, getting engaged, and getting married, each new transition brings about the unpleasant task of askin...

Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix

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24 January 2013: Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix By Frank Kermit, Relationships If you ever had sex with someone that is about to get married, and have been invited to the wedding, do not go. This is especially true if the spouse-to-be feels uncomfortable havi...

Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy

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16 January 2013: Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Couples who are experiencing a transition in the status of their relationship may sometimes look to explore new ways of redefining their sex lives b...

Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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13 December 2012: Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships As the holiday season approaches, invitations begin to swarm in for get-togethers from family, friends and even office parties. It is a time of people coming together, and in some ca...

Couples in Transition

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29 November 2012: Couples in Transition By Frank Kermit, Relationships When a couple is going through a change in the status of their relationship they are a couple in transition. This includes couples that are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy, from no...

Your Home Is Your Seduction

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15 November 2012: Your Home Is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit, Relationships Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaur...

The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey

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6 November 2012: The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey By Frank Kermit, Relationships The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing ...

What Love Masks by Frank Kermit

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2012: What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...

The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work: An Article About EFT and Weight Loss

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2 November 2012: The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work An Article About EFT and Weight Loss I have a confession. I used to daydream about food. You know that point in the day when someone catches you; your head in your hands, that dreamy look on your face? If so...

Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type?

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1 November 2012: Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type? By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all have our “type”. By “type” I am referring to that type of person each of us is madly attracted too. Each of us has our preference of what we like, what turns us on, ...

Is there such a thing as Happily Single?

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19 October 2012: Is there such a thing as Happily Single? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Is being single really that bad? After all, when a person considers the amount of pain that a relationship or casual dating can cause, it may seem that just skipping the w...

Be Thankful For a Broken Heart

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11 October 2012: Be Thankful For A Broken Heart By Frank Kermit, Relationships Ok, I hate this. I really hate this part of the process. However, it is a necessary part of the process, and if I am expected to help encourage others to do it, first I have to demo...

Stop Talking About Your Ex On Dates!

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5 October 2012: Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex By Frank Kermit, Relationships So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This...

Dating in Social Circles

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29 September 2012: Dating In Social Circles By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dating can be tricky. Does the other person like you the way you think he or she might? Do you really like that person enough to get more serious, or do you want to keep it more casual a...

Frank Guide to Speed Dating

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21 September 2012: Frank Guide To Speed Dating By Frank Kermit, Relationships Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking companies, business conv...

Relationship Goal Setting

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 September 2012: Relationship Goal Setting By Frank Kermit, Relationships Setting goals in most areas of your life can be challenging. When it comes to relationships, there are even more challenges. Whereas in other areas of your life such as education, emplo...

Battling The Savior Complex in Relationships

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6 September 2012: Battling The Savior Complex By Frank Kermit, Relationships As children, many of us grew up on stories about the hero that saves a person, and in the process, earned the undying love and loyalty of the person saved so that the hero and that saved ...

Get Out Of Your Own Way!

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30 August 2012: Get Out Of Your Own Way By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest obstacles that a person can have as an obstruction on their path of finding happiness, peace and healing for their love life, is themselves. Although most people wou...

Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow

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26 August 2012: Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow By Frank Kermit, Relationships Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships. The bes...

Are You A Partner Or A Liability?

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

17 August 2012: Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...

The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships

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9 August 2012: The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. ...

Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss.

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20 July 2012: Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss By Frank Kermit, Relationships Are you too nice when it comes to relationships? Do you walk on eggshells because you do not want to upset your partner? Are you reluctant to enforce your bounda...

Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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12 July 2012: Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...

Understanding Emotional Needs

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

4 July 2012: Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...

Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date

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29 June 2012: Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date By Frank Kermit, Relationships When you are on a date, and the person you are getting to know says or does something that triggers a well-honed instinct that you need to stop dating that person, you hav...

The Art of Storytelling on a Date

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25 June 2012: Art of Storytelling: Make or Break A Relationship Happy Ending By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the challenges that people face when they go on dates is that they may not factor in that others will not understand what they are trying ...

Swinger Beginner Advice

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25 June 2012: Swinger Beginners: Keep it Out of the Work Place By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dear Frank, My husband and I recently returned from a business trip/vacation where a few of my husband's co-workers also brought their wives. We really hit it o...

When your Ex becomes a symbol and you can't get over it

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13 June 2012: When Your Ex Becomes A Symbol Relationship Symbolism of Why You Are Still Hooked By Frank Kermit, Relationships We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. ...

Ally Vs Enemy: Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men

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9 June 2012: Is She His Ally or His Enemy? Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men By Frank Kermit, Relationships The best way I know how to teach people about the emotional needs of men is to break it down to absolute fundamentals. If people can und...

Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 June 2012: Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...

Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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23 May 2012: Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...

Finding The Meaning Of Your Life And Relationships

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15 May 2012: The Meaning of your Relationships Starts With The Meaning Of Your Life By Frank Kermit, Relationships Contemplate your death. No seriously. In order to make meanings of your relationships past, present and those you will have in the futur...

The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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10 May 2012: The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...

Moving To The Next Level: Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 May 2012: Moving To The Next Level Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to promote someone up the hierarchy of commitment that has not really earned it. I...

Beware Your Friends when it comes to love

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15 April 2012: Beware Your Friends They May Not Want You To Be Loved By Frank Kermit, Relationships Mistakes Singles Make # 6… Seeking the approval of friends that influences your love life choices. Love may come and go, but a friendship can last a lifetim...

Are Relationships Worth The Risk?

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8 April 2012: Relationships = Risk But is it really worth it? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Given that there is so much risk in getting involved in relationships, or having sex for that matter, is it at all worth it to even bother? After all, a broken hear...

Tattoos and Relationships

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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24 March 2012: Beware The L-I-N-K Of (L)ove and (INK) By Frank Kermit, Relationships While at a coffee shop a few weeks ago, I met a tattoo artist. He had his son’s name tattooed on his hand, and being the ever-inquisitive one, I asked him about his profession...

Open Relationships and Infidelity

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17 March 2012: Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...

What is a Relationship?

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10 March 2012: What is a Relationship? Is best defined by what it’s NOT By Frank Kermit, Relationships Over the years, I have been asked a number of times “What is a Relationship?” This is a harder question to answer than most people think. In my experience,...

Engaged! Now what?

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19 February 2012: Pre Marital Disclosure What you don’t know, you must know By Frank Kermit, Relationships Valentines day has come and gone. Some relationships have started. Some relationships have ended, and some relationships have proceeded to the next le...

Making Monogamy Work

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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5 February 2012: Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...

Single Parent Dating, Not Just a Single Issue

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 February 2012: Single Parent Dating – More Than Just A Single Issue By Frank Kermit At least 40% of marriages end in divorce. Depending on the study you read, the percentage can be higher. Even though the break down of families continues, the drive that ma...

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My fiance risked our relationship for one night of fun

Q.   I am engaged to be married on the 24th. Last weekend my bf had his bachelor party weekend in New York . I couple of his buddies were egging him on to hook up with a random girl. They ended up inviting a group of girls back to their hotel were he ...

A.   5 September 2016: It depends. This is a matter of compatible sexual values. It is good he stopped before it lead to sex and that reflects that he has morals. On the other hand, curious if he is still going to stay friends with the same people that encoura... (read in full...)

We are thinking marriage but I have concerns. Is my boyfriend gay or bi curious?

Q.   Hi, A little back story... My BF and I have been together for 3 years and 1/2, living together for 1 year. He's very loving, have great morals and have alwayst treated me amazingly and we have a average sex life. But we are really freaky, ...

A.   5 September 2016: Ask yourself this one question: If he were gay/bi/curious/fetish/exploring/queer/undecided etc...if he confirmed your suspicions, WOULD YOU STILL MARRY HIM? IF the answer is YES, then marry him and when he is comfortable enough to accept him... (read in full...)

I'm talking to my ex and feeling guilty about it but can't seem to stop myself

Q.   When I was 15, I had an abortion. To this day I still remember everything about those few weeks while it all happened, from finding out to having it done. I still cry on the day which I had worked out would have been my due date and I still wonder ...

A.   5 September 2016: It sounds like you have been punishing yourself all this time. It is time to forgive yourself and find closure in all of this. If your current fiance does not know the details of your past, best to discuss it with him so he knows. Also let him know... (read in full...)

My ex has expressed interest in one of my best friends and it bothers me

Q.   okay so i was with a guy for almost 2 years and it was really serious and whatnot we've been split up for about a year now but as we're in the same friendship group we still socialise with eachother. I was then told that he has feelings for one of ...

A.   31 August 2016: It is ok to feel odd about the situation. And I think you are very mature to understand not to get involved if they do date. An ex is an ex for a reason, Keep that in mind. Also, you may think that you would not get involved with people he k... (read in full...)

My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!

Q.   At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...

A.   8 May 2016: If the two of you disagree this much on something that should have easily been dealt with, it is best that the two of you do NOT get married. Never involve your friends into your debates as a couple. It only means trouble. Look at the principl... (read in full...)

How can you know if you are marrying the right person?

Q.   How will someone know and sure about marry someone and live all their life with the others as there maybe unwanted things happen in the future. How will they know that they wont regret? How can people be so sure about other people? Or they just risk ...

A.   8 May 2016: My wife and I decided to get married on our first date. The date was 36 hours long and we decided to get married at hour 26. That was after both of us spent a lot of time (years) working on ourselves to figure out what kind of life we wanted, ... (read in full...)

Why does virtually everyone hate me?

Q.   Why does everyone hate me? I spent my whole life in the closet. All the time as soon as I said a dude was cute someone wanted to hook us up! Or they said I NEEDED a boyfriend "just because". I hated kissing boys! So I tried that and thought bc I...

A.   8 May 2016: It is terrible that you feel stuck in an environment where you feel hated. I think you need to save up some money, move to a new college somewhere else far from your current social circle, or learn a trade and get a job somewhere else far away. ... (read in full...)

Of those who chose to remain married, though unhappy, I ask, did you regret doing so?

Q.   Just want to do a survey to married/divorced folks: Which of you have stayed married despite being unhappy? Do you regret it? How long have you been married? Why were you unhappy? Which of you decided to divorce because you were unhappy? Are...

A.   8 May 2016: It all depends on why Why do you want to stay and Why do you want to leave Most people I have worked with have all mentioned they regret their first divorces, esp when there were children involved. The damage to their children was nev... (read in full...)

I have two women after my love, what do I do?

Q.   this is the story of the first woman who is after me Im 20 and she is in her thirties. I moved in with my cousin in September. Within a couple of months my cousins wife made a move on me when he was at work and her son was up stairs asleep i was ...

A.   8 May 2016: I know it can be hard to resist temptation, but you know you need to stop seeing your cousin's wife. She is married (that alone is enough). She is married to your cousin (again, that is more than enough reason). They took you in when you needed a ... (read in full...)

Is online dating just not worth it? I know not all men are pigs but I sure keep drawing them!

Q.   Is online dating just not worth it? I tried it many years ago but with a friend, thinking we could double date, keep it safe etc. We were not planning on nearly every man pushing for three ways and insisting on "at least" making out with each other ...

A.   27 April 2016: First, you started off with a profile of you with another girl...and you are surprised by people assuming you were a lesbian or bi couple looking for a third? Most people who are single do not "group" date for online dating, in part because tha... (read in full...)

Please help me, it turns out that my boyfriend has a brother, the same man I slept with a few years ago!

Q.   I know a boy for about seven years, and we started dating a few months ago, and last Saturday he decided to introduce me to his family. It turns out that he has a brother, who was never mentioned, and is the same man that I slept a few years ago. I ...

A.   27 April 2016: If you and your bf are getting serious, it is better he hears the truth coming from you, than to find out from his brother or any circle of friends. Something you could try is to ask your bf about how people handle the other person's sexual p... (read in full...)

Threesome gone wrong and I feel so cheated! Help me please...

Q.   I have an issue that I can't get over and I don't know what to do. I have been with my husband for approximately 10 years and he has always been my best friend. We have always joked about a threesome but were never really serious, although secretly ...

A.   20 April 2016: You can save your marriage. The threesome does not have to be the end of it. The issue, as I see it, is that although you both joked about a threesome, the two of you never discussed boundaries and personal rules before attempting it. When it f... (read in full...)

My homosexuality is killing me and left me alone with no options

Q.   So I am posting a big question about my life, I am not sure if it fits with the nature of the contents here but I hope to get an answer! I am 34 years old and I feel that I am 50 years old , gay, middle eastern to Muslim parents, I didn’...

A.   20 April 2016: You have gotten a lot of great advice here, so I will not repeat what was already said. One suggestion I have is to ask if you have considered becoming a student and getting a degree (higher education) to a country that is very accepting of hom... (read in full...)

I'm dating my married step uncle...help? I need advice on what to do, please?

Q.   Ok hi. Completely new at this. So to get right to the point. I'm dating my step uncle so (my mothers step mums son) so not. Definitely not blood related. He is married (not separated) tho like typical situations (is going to get a device an...

A.   4 November 2015: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sPGqQR0Ahg I answered your question in the above youtube video. I hope you take my advice seriously. You are going down a very unhealthy path and you have so much potential to enter into a future... (read in full...)

What are the ground rules during separation from spouse?

Q.   Just curious, what are the ground rules for separating with a spouse i.e. we need some time apart? Is dating and seeing others ok? Please don't look at this as an excuse but rather a consequence of separation....

A.   25 February 2015: If you are separating as a prelude to divorce, be careful if you date others, and if you do, KEEP IT CASUAL. Do not introduce anyone to your kids (if any). If you are separating as a means to fix your relationship and get back together, then no,... (read in full...)

Pleaseee help me I want to die,my boyfriend of 7 yrs is leaving me because I told him about my past.?

Q.   my boyfriend of 7 yrs has a long sexual history including gangbangs,orgys, etc with 50+ girls. he done drugs. he neve r lied n we go to church and we are very in love. i trust he doesnt hide anything and loves me. we started off as f.buddya ...

A.   13 February 2015: Do NOT get back with him, do NOT chase him. This is a horrible act of emotional manipulation. Stop justifying yourself to him, that is part of the repeating behavior pattern he is trying to install. Walk away from him now. You are dodging a... (read in full...)

A male virgin is not something to proud of.

Q.   Hello I am a young college aged guy who is between universities and degrees. Unlike most men my age and social status, I'm a male virgin who's never even kissed a girl. I've also never even been on a date either. Up until recently, I was morbi...

A.   3 February 2015: Hey Dude, Hang in there. You are not alone. Many men are virgins going into their 20s, 30s 40s and even 50s. I am a dating and relationship coach and work with men in your situation. I have a free newsletter for you that gives you access to th... (read in full...)

A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus

Q.   A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...

A.   1 September 2013: Thank you janniepeg and highmaintainance101. I am curious if we all seem to be thinking the same thing because we are Canadian?... (read in full...)

Would you date a guy with a background like mine?

Q.   Hi, I'm a 26 year old guy and I've never been in a relationship. I'm going to give an explanation as of why. In my teens I was essentially very shy and insecure and so didn't really dare to approach girls that I liked. When I was 19 I started to ...

A.   19 July 2013: Hi There, I have counseled Adult Male Virgins just like you and here is what I can tell you. Yes, there are some women that would be put off by this, however they are in the minority. The majority of people will simply react to this based on how y... (read in full...)

My friend thinks I'm spoiling my husband.

Q.   Dear cupid My friend Debbie moved an hour and a half away a few years ago so we don't get to see each other as often as we use to. Debbie wants me to come and spent a weekend with her but my husband feels like why i cant just go and return ho...

A.   2 July 2013: Is Debbie married? If she were, would she be so quick to demand someone leave their spouse for a weekend getaway? Is Debbie single and wants the two of you to hit the bars and clubs while she tries to get picked up? Would you be OK with your ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend still lives with his parents and I wonder if he'll ever grow up.

Q.   So...I have been dating a guy for going on 2 years. He has lived at home the entire time. He has zero privacy as his bedroom is next to his moms. His dad basically lives in the basement. His dad has a bedroom and living room and bathroom down ...

A.   2 July 2013: Perhaps the questions to ask should be less related to if he is going to change, and more to do with why you would date a man for 2 yrs that has not let you visit his home, is not independent, and will likely not support you with future kids just ... (read in full...)

How do I explain when comments about other women are out of line?

Q.   Gonna get straight to the point. I'm bisexual, I've never actually dated a girl, fooled around in college a little more than i probably shouldve. fast forward some years, and now its me and my fiance, he and I. We have the sort of relationship that ...

A.   2 July 2013: Hi There, Read the article Jealousy and the Abyss. I think it will help you with your jealousy. The issue is not anything he is doing. This is YOUR issue. -Frank... (read in full...)

Husband slept with gorgeous coworker. Is it unreasonable to ask him to find another job?

Q.   My husband had an affair with a gorgeous female co-worker. He felt guilty and admitted everything to me. I am devastated but would like to work on rebuilding our marriage. Am I being unreasonable for asking him to find another job? They see ea...

A.   23 June 2013: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/re-establishing-trust-in-a-relationship-article.html Wrote this article on re establishing trust in a relationship. Perhaps it may be some support to you. -Frank... (read in full...)

Husband slept with gorgeous coworker. Is it unreasonable to ask him to find another job?

Q.   My husband had an affair with a gorgeous female co-worker. He felt guilty and admitted everything to me. I am devastated but would like to work on rebuilding our marriage. Am I being unreasonable for asking him to find another job? They see ea...

A.   23 June 2013: Hi There, Trust is very hard to re-establish once it has been broken. Part of what you will have to go through together is to figure out the root cause of the affair. Usually an affair is a symptom of something else going on within the couple. ... (read in full...)

The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future

Q.   The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...

A.   28 May 2013: Hi Relationship Chef, Quasimodo is a fictional character in a novel. Therefore it is not history you are siting as a basis of supporting your argument. In a perfect world, you are right, it would be simpler to see the inside of a person. I a... (read in full...)

Is it normal for ex wives/husbands going on vacation together normal?

Q.   I am on my third marriage/my wife also her third. My wife is going on vacation with her grown kids, grandchildren and with her ex husband from her first marriage. The ex is bringing his girlfriend also. I just find it strange that she would want to ...

A.   26 May 2013: Seems to me that she is not going on vacation with her ex, per se. She is going on a vacation with her kids and grandkids and that means their father will be there as well. Marrying her does not mean you take her away from her family. You married ... (read in full...)

Depressed after break-up, how do I move on?

Q.   Hey all, My boyfriend and I of 2 years recently broke up and I just feel so depressed and lonely. The only friends I had were his friends and now that we broke up I've really lost everyone and I feel so alone. He seems to be so happy and everything ...

A.   8 April 2013: Going through a break up can be one of the hardest experiences in the world. It is not pleasant, but it can help make your future relationships better if you can shift your focus to being happy for the experience, and looking at what you learned in ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to cheat if our sex life has sunk to the point of nothing? And possible ED that he will not seek help for.

Q.   Is it wrong to cheat if your sexlife with your partner is zero? My partner is 43 and I 37. He doesn't have a high sex drive and over the past 6 months we have only been intimate twice. When we are intimate he completely focuses on himself and u...

A.   8 April 2013: It is never OK to cheat. If your needs are not being met, talk to your partner about how serious this is for you, and see if you can work something out. Maybe you may want to explore using sex toys together, or try some form of non-monogamy. T... (read in full...)

I want a FWB relationship that is exclusive with him

Q.   I have a friends with 'some' benefits type of relationship going with a very hot n sexy guy. He's the hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on, and he makes me wanna just be free and not hold back in any way, or I might regret it. However, becau...

A.   30 March 2013: Hi There, It is unethical of you to ask a FWB to be exclusive as the nature of a FWB is so that both of you can continue to seek out a soul mate. Here is some further information about managing a FWB situation that you may find useful. http:... (read in full...)

Is my Bf bi-sexual or gay? He says he's shared oral sex with guys. Do I seem to have a closed mind?

Q.   My boyfriend of 3 months recently told me that has fooled around with men before. He hasn't had sex with them, just oral. I wasn't ok with this when he told me and I am having a really hard time with it. A lot of people tell me that if a guys e...

A.   29 January 2013: There is a difference between being open minded, and inviting something into your life. I am open minded about other people who want to have certain kinds of animals as pets, but that does not mean that I have to invite those kinds of animals ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend refuses or is incapable of loving me

Q.   I love my boyfriend, But he doesn't know. He doesn't believe in being in love or falling in love, he actually hates the phrase "Falling in love", he doesn't think its real. We say all the time we like each other. But its killing me because I love ...

A.   24 January 2013: The real question to be asking yourself, is why you would make someone like him your boyfriend. Once you figure that out, you will not end up in this situation again. -Frank... (read in full...)

How can I get through this bitter breakup? I don't know how to cope.

Q.   I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years and things are disturbingly bitter, so much so that I don't know how to get over this whole experience. I had to break it off, I didn't trust him at all and I felt taken for granted. We are currentl...

A.   24 January 2013: You focus on what you know you want long term, and take this as a learning experience. Now, you are aware of what some red flags are for you, and what you will and will not accept, as well as, maybe learn at what point to get out of a relationship ... (read in full...)

I can't commit to someone else because I'm in love with a married man

Q.   I have been in contact with a married man with two older children since 2009 . We chatted for about 6 months before i let him in my life. We got serious and within 3 weeks his wife found out . He called if off. I was gutted , he would avoid me at ...

A.   24 January 2013: Just something for you to consider... it is not being attached to a married man that is stopping you from intimacy with someone emotionally available... it is your fear of intimacy that saddles you with settling for a married man. Once you... (read in full...)

Unexpected death of an acquaintance has got me thinking--whats the point?

Q.   I've just found out that a colleague of mine with whom I used to work a some 4 years ago had a mortal car accident this morning while he was driving to work: the road was icy, he lost control of his car and crashed against a tree- he died. We wer...

A.   24 January 2013: Consider this a wake up call...welcome to the uncertainty of life. The meaning of your life is what you assign to it. If you decide it means nothing, then it means nothing. If you decide that you have a calling of some kind to fulfill, then you... (read in full...)

Is a man wearing a women's swimsuit really a 'sexual offense' especially as the man did it drunk at a party?

Q.   I have recently found out my 24-year-old daughter is dating a convicted sex offender, she had inadvertently mentioned it when talking about her new boyfriend (he's 32). I feel sick and disgusted but at the sametime am powerless to stop her. She...

A.   24 January 2013: I think you need to speak to a family lawyer about this, or get some legal research done by a legal clinic (like law students at a law school, who can do the research). That will answer your question if it is possible. It always depends on the c... (read in full...)

What Love Masks by Frank Kermit

Q.   What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...

A.   3 November 2012: Hi Mandy, To my knowledge, this site also accepts articles written by members for submission. See the menu above for the menu icon "Articles" that is highlighted. I have been posting articles for quite some time now, and you are the first to compl... (read in full...)

Should I quit work and return to Uni? In a LTR which may be affected by the decision.

Q.   This isn't really a relationship problem but I would be very grateful for any advice offered. Basically I suspended my uni studies last year due to personal problems and I'm torn between going back or not. I'm worried if I do go back the same thing ...

A.   11 October 2012: I can tell you based on my experience, anyone that does not return to university in their youth, rarely gets the chance to do it later in life. It has nothing to do with how interested the person is in the education, or how much they need it or ... (read in full...)

My fiance is joining the Army. She has cheated on me before and I'm scared she will again.

Q.   So I'm not really sure how to go about this question so ill do the best I can I'm 20 years old Me and my fiance have been together for 3 years...I'm disabled and I'm basically her stay at home cleaning man...recently she has decided to join ...

A.   15 September 2012: Hi There, If you have this level of mistrust in her, then you should not be engaged and not plan to marry her. -Frank... (read in full...)

Troubled relationship with my FWB

Q.   Hi everyone I know there is a lot of questions asked about this but I really need some advice my friends with benefits if you could call it that have been sleeping together for nearly 3 years now last week I asked him if he had been sleeping with ...

A.   15 September 2012: Hi There, FWB (Friends-With-Benefits) was never meant to be exclusive. Trying to impose commitment based relationship rules on a FWB causes a lot of unreasonable expectations. If you ever engage in FWB situations again, please check out my art... (read in full...)

How to find the courage to break up after nine years together?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for nine years. We have a nice house together, lots of shared friends, we get on well and life is generally ok. He's sweet, generous and affectionate. Everyone likes him. So do I. We got together after lots of short-lived ...

A.   17 August 2012: Well, if you have zero intention of wanting to be in a relationship, you are just using someone you like because you refuse to deal with the unpleasant feelings that come with making grown up decisions. In this way, perhaps you need to consider... (read in full...)

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