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| | Frank B Kermit's profile:Frank B. Kermit is a Seduction Relationship Expert. He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, and various principles of seduction to be applied to ongoing loving relationships.
He is the author of many books and audio programs. An advice columnist for 3 Publications: The Oyster Magazine, Tryst Magazine and Tab Magazine. Producer, Host of an internet radio program entitled Frank Talks: Pleasures and Lifestyles.He is available for Personalized Coaching. Over the telephone and in person, couples coaching, bedroom coaching, one on one or group coaching.
Frank B Kermit currently resides in Toronto with his wife Jade
He can be reached through his website WWW.FRANKTALKS.COMwww: www.franktalks.com |
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Should I ditch this engagement? After what she did with this guy?
Q. I need help. I just found out my fiancee cheated on me a little while ago. I don't know if I should marry her or not. I'm real pissed off and upset, but I love her, but this is not acceptable. I'm a believer in that 2 people who are in love and ...
A. 4 November 2009: Unless you are interested in making your relationship an open one, then do NOT marry this girl. You are a fool if you do. Obviously she does not have the same values as you do, and THAT is the reason it will not work out in the long term. It is not ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 3 November 2009: I met my wife through Eharmony. My only advice is to be as honest as you possibly can, and know the difference between "preference" and "absolute deal-breaker".
I hope you find happiness again.
-Frank... (read in full...)
How do I handle my husband and son smoking out of bongs?
Q. I am a 46-year-old businesswoman, who's well-liked in my local community. However, it's my personal life that's troubling - I came home from work one afternoon to find my husband and 16-year-old son smoking bongs together in the living room. ...
A. 1 November 2009: As long as your husband is your son's dealer (he bought it off the internet for him) there is no way for you to enact your influence. IT is also very likely that your husband introduced the drugs to your son.
First, did you know your husband ... (read in full...)
Can he be a virgin at 40 plus???
Q. I've known this guy just under a year- both in our early 40's- we met at work but dont work in same place. We have a few friends in common and others who arent. Since we met we have seen loads of each other - we now see each other every week or so, ...
A. 1 November 2009: Yes, it is VERY possible that he is a virgin. This is very common.
I did a special seminar for adult male virgins such as your friend. He might be an abuse victim, he might be struggling with his sexual orientation, or he might just associat... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 1 November 2009: Why is it hard for men to commit?
Two reasons:
1-Because legally, men have more at risk. The law is such that men suffer more in cases of separation and divorce, and many men have either been burned really bad, destroyed financially, or ... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex to call because it causes her difficulties with her husband, I wonder whys he still calls me?
Q. I have an ex-gf, which we have remain friends for years after we broke up ( yrs ago ) , which it was due because a mutual understanding. one day she calls me to tell me she was getting married, i wished her well and told her i was happy for her. ...
A. 1 October 2009: Unless there was something unfinished between the two of you, then my guess is that she is doing this for the drama. She gets attention from an ex (you), she is doing something forbidden, she might get caught by her husband...it is a safe ... (read in full...)
Has anyone tried Eharmony and does it work?
Q. Just wondering? Has anyone tried Eharmony? Does it work? Or are they just a bunch of guys looking to get laid like plentyoffish?...
A. 30 September 2009: Met my wife through that site.
The site is best for people looking for something serious and long term. Not many younger people there.
Some people lie on there just like any online site. So you always have to be careful.
-Frank Kermit... (read in full...)
Cheaters: how do you know if they have changed?
Q. Do men that cheat ever genuinely change??? if they do how do you know that they changed?...
A. 30 September 2009: You know he changed when the source of the reason he cheated is no more. Was it out of immaturity? Was it an addiction? Was it a particular person? Was it a particular emotional need that was not being met? Whatever the reason that got him to ... (read in full...)
Why does he want me back when he clearly couldnt accept me the way I am?
Q. My ex bf just told me he wants me back, but he is the one who broke up with me in the first place. During out relationship he was always pointing out all the things that he didnt like in me, such as my values and beleiefs and just generally my per...
A. 28 September 2009: It sounds like he is just afraid to be alone, and is using you. Otherwise why would he want to be with someone that clearly he wants to change?
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
Why does he want me back when he clearly couldnt accept me the way I am?
Q. My ex bf just told me he wants me back, but he is the one who broke up with me in the first place. During out relationship he was always pointing out all the things that he didnt like in me, such as my values and beleiefs and just generally my per...
A. 28 September 2009: It sounds like he is just afraid to be alone, and is using you. Otherwise why would he want to be with someone that clearly he wants to change?
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
The day I was going to ask her to marry me she told me she had cheated on me
Q. My gf of 4 yrs went on a all girls trip south and when she came home she told me she hooked up with another guy. She claims they never had sex just made out and did alot of touching. The day she came home I actually had plan to ask her to marry me. ...
A. 28 September 2009: Only if she agrees to stop drinking and not take trips with her friends that encouraged such behaviors. And then actually see her doing such things before you even propose.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents or hide it longer?
Q. over the last few years i have had several crushes consisting of both sexes. I struggled alot with coming to terms with it and have now accepted myself as bisexual. However admitting it to myself is alot easier than admitting it to anyine else. I ...
A. 27 September 2009: For starters I did an interview with a bisexual woman on her sexual orientation and you can listen to it for free at
http://www.franktalks.com/radio
Look for the interview with Nancy LeClerc. There might be information there that you can rel... (read in full...)
Why can't women have young lovers?
Q. I am an attractive 40 year old woman currently in a relationship with a 24 year old strapping young jock. We initially hit it off as friends while playing on a co-ed softball team together. Then went out with a group and ours eyes met and have been ...
A. 26 September 2009: Woman can have young lovers. Some woman however just can not give themselves what they want. Maybe it is an issue of if you feel you deserve it?
In terms of how society regards older women and younger men, the issue is that most people feel com... (read in full...)
Am a lover? Or his mother?
Q. I am sittin here angry....why becoz I have a Man (boy) in my house that thinks he is my boyfriend. However, we have as often a nun and a monk....and he does not work, I cook, I clean, I do it all...as he sits and watches, doing his thing....we use ...
A. 26 September 2009: A woman can either play one of two roles in any man's life:
mother or lover.
She can not be both.
A man sees woman as either one of two roles in his life:
Ally or enemy.
The conflict here is that a woman resents being his mother, when she wan... (read in full...)
I get turned on when my g/f talks about her past sexual encounters
Q. I am 39 and my gf is 38 and I don't know if I am a freak or got some serious problems but I get turned on when my girlfriend tells me about her past sexual encounters. It is something that I have been dealing with for awhile and I just dont know ...
A. 26 September 2009: The answer will be found in the book: Sperm Wars.
Basically, you are channeling what most experience as sexually jealousy, and using that energy to fuel your own orgasm.
Based on the premise that when a man senses his female lover might have... (read in full...)
Visit my son in jail? Or write a letter telling him how his behavior is affecting the family?
Q. My son ended up in jail, after several probation charges with shoplifting and others, to support his drug habits. Now it is the 10 th year of this struggle. We tried to help him,many many times. Right now ,I'm hesitating if I should visit him in j...
A. 25 September 2009: Visit him once to tell him what you need to tell him to get closure.
I would not write letters because other inmates often have access to the letters and return addresses. Not safe.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
Torn between 2 girls, part of me wants them both but know I can't do that!
Q. Hello all, I'm really in need of some impartial advice. I am 24 and I have been going out with a girl for over 3 and a half years now. Due to our locations and the hours we work we have only been able to see eachother once a week for the whole time ...
A. 23 September 2009: Sounds like she was in it for the drama. She wanted what she thought she could not have (because of the other girl). As soon as you became available, you became "too attainable" for the level of drama she was looking for.
-Frank Kermit
http://ww... (read in full...)
Seriously guys, why can't I get girls to show any interest in me? Please help me Cupid!
Q. Hi there, I'm writing to ask your advice on a problem that has remained unsolved for me since I was about 17. I'm 30 now! It's a pretty straightforward problem: I can't get a girlfrind, girls just don't seem to be interested in me. See? I told ...
A. 17 September 2009: In everything you said, you never talked about anything that would be on an emotional level. You are very straight forward, but I did not gather anything about you that describes your passions. You tell me what you do...but I want to hear WHY you ... (read in full...)
Torn between 2 girls, part of me wants them both but know I can't do that!
Q. Hello all, I'm really in need of some impartial advice. I am 24 and I have been going out with a girl for over 3 and a half years now. Due to our locations and the hours we work we have only been able to see eachother once a week for the whole time ...
A. 17 September 2009: Yes you can date two women at that same time. Best be honest about it though. Until you find someone that you would want to build a life with, and have tested her for that level of commitment, it is best to date as many people as possible to make ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? Why do guys always put me in the "friend zone"?
Q. Okay so I feel ridiculous for saying this out loud because Men do not validate you and your life but I feel like something must be wrong with me. I don't think I'm that cute or pretty (I mean I might have an ok face but I don't really like my body) ...
A. 17 September 2009: Do you only seek out men that are too shy to make the first move?
Do you ask out the men you like, or just wait for them to make the first move?
Have you ever rejected a man's advances?
Do you have a reputation of rejected men's advances?... (read in full...)
Should I tell her husband she was cheating on him?
Q. ok, so I was seeing a girl who lied to me...I later found out she was married. Apparently the husband was away overseas; she has gotten back together with him and has cut off all communication with me. My question is should I email/ tell the ...
A. 17 September 2009: If she is willing to lie to you and dump you, has it occurred to you that she would likely be willing to lie about you in order to protect her marriage?
For example, she might accuse you of raping her if she feels you would threaten her marriage... (read in full...)
Woman like bad boys??
Q. Hi. I was wondering about all the myths out there about women love a "bad boy" or a "jerk." Can this possibly be true over someone who is down to earth and nice instead of cocky and rude?...
A. 15 September 2009: Because jerks address women's emotional needs in indirect ways, where as nice guys only address her emotional needs partially and actually violate some of her key emotional needs that keep him "just a friend" instead of her lover.
At the heart of... (read in full...)
Flirting with me and yet found out she has a boyfriend
Q. okay. i am a 30 year old male. a few months ago i started going to the library to study for school a few days per week. this went on for a while. while i was going, a girl that works there started being really friendly with me. i could tell she was ...
A. 14 September 2009: First mistake you made is that you told your friend about your interaction with her. This means that if she actually was open to seeing you, she might not bother now, because you were not discreet (protect her reputation) and did not approach her ... (read in full...)
I am 25, a virgin and never kissed a girl. I am considering going to a hooker, is this a good idea?
Q. Well, i'm 25 and I have never had sex, even I have never kissed a woman. So I have alrady decided to pay a hooker. I'm very exited about that, but at the same time scared. Am I doing something good or at the contrary? All the time I was expecting ...
A. 13 September 2009: I did a special seminar for adult male virgins such as yourself. My advice is NOT to pay for it for your first time. It may satisfy the physical hunger, but it will never satisfy the emotional hunger.
The negative repercussions include using es... (read in full...)
I don't like sex, it's despicable, what do you think?
Q. I don't like sex, I never have and I don't think I ever will. I'm not asexual, I'm anti-sexual. For me, sex has a negative impact on a relationship not a positive. I think as a man, if you have a sexual relationships with a women they ...
A. 12 September 2009: Well, there are only two things that I can see here.
1-You are a virgin with no experience, and are making conclusions that are rooted in what you THINK is going to happen, not what has happened. (I have worked with alot of adult male virgins,... (read in full...)
I had a terrible accident 4 years ago and my girlfriend has looked after me, but now I find out she has been talking to a guy behind my back
Q. Hi‚ I,ve been in this relationship for 9 yrs and we live together. I was in an accident 4 yrs ago, I almost lost my life. She's been helping me with everything because I'm in a wheelchair, I have to learn to walk again but she been there for me. ...
A. 12 September 2009: She sounds exhausted.
Since you are at home, have you considered starting a home business through the computer, so that she does not have to work two jobs?
The kids (12 and 14) are in school right?
I wonder, when you both moved into the new ... (read in full...)
I'm 35 and she is 21, would people care about the age difference?
Q. I'm 35 and just signed my divorce papers to finalize my divorce. We were separated for almost a year and I found myself becoming friends with my neighbors. I was physically attracted to the one girl from the day I met her and she was the same. Since ...
A. 12 September 2009: Look, there will always be people that think you two should not be together. There will never be any union of two people that doesn't have other people against it for reasons such as age, jealousy, attractiveness, money, etc....
If you want to ... (read in full...)
Confessions of a Sexless Union, what do I do from here?
Q. My boyfriend hasn't had the desire to have sex with me in 2.5 years. I don't believe he's cheating on me, he's just gone off sex and affection. He's incredibly depressed about his station in life yet seemingly has no desire to better his position. ...
A. 12 September 2009: Your boyfriend is very depressed, and that is why he is not interested in bettering his situation. This is not an intellectual debate. He knows he could do something, he has simply lost the desire to do anything (including sex with you).
Talk ... (read in full...)
Why do men and women make it so hard to build a relationship together?
Q. Ok so this is really a question for men who have been through the same thing and women who have told a guy this and what it really meant for them. I'm in love with this girl for quite some time now. She is my best friend. so much so that I dont ...
A. 12 September 2009: One more thing...
having pre-qualifiers is important (I don't want to make it sound like they aren't) because the act of sex can end in a pregnancy.
When joining genes (or the potential for it), people have a right to be picky and have c... (read in full...)
My gay ex-boss wants to watch a movie together before the re-hire...
Q. I have an ex-boss who is considering hiring me again. He is gay and kinda tries to hang out all the time. He suggested he is renting a movie and we should watch it at my place before we get into the job thing. I'm scared but I need this job and ...
A. 12 September 2009: Unless you intend to date your boss, do not go. Let him know that you want to maintain a professional relationship since you will or may be in a position to work with him.
You don't want him to mistreat you? If that kind of abuse is even pos... (read in full...)
Why do men and women make it so hard to build a relationship together?
Q. Ok so this is really a question for men who have been through the same thing and women who have told a guy this and what it really meant for them. I'm in love with this girl for quite some time now. She is my best friend. so much so that I dont ...
A. 12 September 2009: In the case of ending up in the friend zone, the answer is that you addressed enough of her emotional needs that she likes you enough as a friend, but you fell neutral on or violated her emotional needs enough such that she does not want to be your ... (read in full...)
Why can't men commit to one woman?
Q. Y is it hard for men to commit.They act as if they are in a realationship but at the same time just not saying it.But if they see the women with someone else than they want to claim her but to a certain point. I was in a three relationship with this ...
A. 12 September 2009: Y is it hard for men to commit?
Two reasons:
1-Because legally, men have more at risk. The law is such that men suffer more in cases of separation and divorce, and many men have either been burned really bad, destroyed financially, or ... (read in full...)
Three way relationships. Help!!!
Q. Me and my Boyfriend have been together for about 5-6 months now and we have been getting on really well untill recently. My boyfriend once lived with his (ex) girlfriend and when they split up she moved out and she is still paying half the mortgage ...
A. 12 September 2009: If she is moving back into her HOME, it is likely that he is still with her, and they are trying to fix their relationship. Until they completely break it off (and that means SELL THE HOUSE), your best course of action is to stay out of it. Why ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one to fantasise about having sex, only clothed?
Q. hi , can you pls tell me whether women will enjoy sex when man is fully clothed.i am a man i like to be fully clothed with woman wearing short skirts and i enjoy very much when she grind,rub her thighs against my thighs which is fully clothed ...
A. 12 September 2009: Is it normal? Well, it is about as normal as most sexual fetishes. You have a fetish for being clothed during sex, and to be dominated by a woman. The being dominated part is common among some men, and the clothing part is the first I have heard ... (read in full...)
Do I sound crazy, or is any of this even remotely legit?
Q. i don't know if i'm just being overly sensitive to my internal paranoias, or not... i have this fear of being killed, more than likely by someone i've already known. it isn't something i feel too often...i can really only think of two people i've ...
A. 12 September 2009: Unless those people have actually given you reason to worry about it, it sounds like you might have mild anxiety. I say this because some of your thoughts of them being ghosts haunting you and such. A constant fear of being attacked can com... (read in full...)
I've only ever had the one partner..and I'm fantasising about other men because of this..!
Q. Im having feelings for another guy, well more like fantasizing what it would be like to be with him and I feel badly because I have a boyfriend whom I've been with for a year and five months, and who I love very much. But he's the only guy I have ...
A. 12 September 2009: So, basically you love your boyfriend, and want to continue seeing him, but would like to experience sex with other people?
Have you looked into the swinger lifestyle? It is not for everyone, but if you move slow, it will allow for you BOTH to ... (read in full...)
Why do they give me their numbers if they don't want me to call?
Q. Hey I have a big problem..whenever I go clubbing and partying I always get numbers from women. On average I get about 3-5 numbers per night but whenever I call them they usually seem to be more than ready to not talk to me. What's going on here and ...
A. 12 September 2009: Just giving you a phone number in a club is no real indication of interest. In many cases they could be intoxicated, or just doing the "polite" thing. Unless you plan to have sex the same night you meet her in a club, take the assumption that it ... (read in full...)
Feeling ignored
Q. Im 37 and my girlfriend is 41. We have been dating for about 5 months and get along fine. However, I have noticed that her home life kind of distracts us from developing a solid relationship. She has two kids 17 and 20 who live with her (i dont have ...
A. 12 September 2009: You are right to be angry. It was your time to be with her, and her family interrupted that. But like you said you are too nice, and my guess is that you never told her what your boundaries are. I doubt you have ever even thought of your ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to my brother about my relationship and make him understand?
Q. I am 17 and am in a relationship with a girl who is older than me with 3 years,my senior brother knows about it but we dont talk about it,we come from a family that is highly religious and having a girlfriend is considered a sin. How can i talk to ...
A. 12 September 2009: Because of your religion, this makes the issue more difficult.
So, let me ask you this.
How would you treat a family member that is doing something that YOU find a sin, but that person feels is justifiable?
Next,
How would you want them... (read in full...)
Is love enough to keep our marriage together?
Q. My husband and i have been married since april 2008. We started talking jan 2008. Our relationship moved extremely fast. We have a baby together she was born april 2009. We have lots of issues and are trying to decide iof we should stay together. ...
A. 12 September 2009: i guess i have a couple questions.
1. is love enough to make this absolutly crazy relationship work.
Nope. Love alone is a great motivator, but it is not enough to make a relationship work. The reason is that you can love someone that is ... (read in full...)
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