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*arbo

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How do I deal with a guy who is insecure that I had sexual experiences before him?

Q.   How do I deal with a guy who is insecure that I had sexual experiences before him? Is that even normal for a guy to feel? Early in our relationship, he was disappointed that I wasn't a virgin. Then he was weirded out when he found out that he wasn't ...

A.   12 February 2017: Why does he need to know the details of the past? If past is past, why not just leave it there and not talk about it? Have him to agree not to ask and you promise not to tell. Agree only to talk about you two. ... (read in full...)

Our arguments often lead to physical altercations!

Q.   ive been in this relationship for about five months now and things are definitely not the way i thought they would be. I care deeply about this man but the communication is limited. We get into arguments which some end in physical altercations. Both ...

A.   12 February 2017: Most definitively, you must dump him. Perhaps leave a little note that you are leaving him because he is physically abusive, but simply disappear and go no contact with him. He may try to sweet talk you if you reply back. Also, once you leave, be mi ... (read in full...)

I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   9 February 2017:  Everyone has sexual boundaries, those which they will never do and those which they expect that others won't do them. So is with you, and it is understandable that you have that criteria. Sure, everyone has a past, but that does not mean that ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's sexual past troubles me, What should I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months and we both are in love and have talked about a future. we both talked about pasts as well and got on the subject of sex. i was disgusted when she told me on how many people she slept with and...

A.   9 February 2017: Look, you will get lot of flack over this for variety of reasons: that everyone has a past, that you are not to judge, that you have double standards on gender ... etc. None of that addresses the fact of the matter which is that you have disgust for ... (read in full...)

I'm torn between two guys. I'm wondering, what should I do?

Q.   Hello anyone out there willing to give me advice. I seem to have gotten myself into a significant amount of a problem. I'm torn between two guys. One my High school sweetheart Man1 whom I went out with for around 4 and a half years. We'd always a...

A.   8 February 2017: Man2 actually seems to be a presumptuous control freak who always demands to know where you are in order to disprove his presumptions. I don't see that "quality" in Man1. ... (read in full...)

If I was happy, I wouldn't have had cybersex with the guy online. Anyone got advice? Should I tell my bf about what I did?

Q.   I became friends with this guy online. The conversations started off as topics about forums (met on a forum so) memes, YouTube, just general Internet stuff really. However, it slowly got a little flirtatious, and last night, I was drinking and we ...

A.   6 February 2017: Your friend's advice is good advice. Go no contact with your cyber-sex guy, block him and if must, delete app. Then no more cyber sex with anyone in the future. Reason why you had cyber sex is because it felt good. Not everything that feels go... (read in full...)

I'm worried I could catch herpes from her if we become intimate!

Q.   Hello,am in a dilemma. I met someone. It's like we are on the same page. Over at her house the other night, going great, a little kissing hugging, watching a movie, and pizza... Then she started crying. She had to tell me something. I thought ...

A.   6 February 2017: If this was me, I would drop this. You met only twice and not much of a bond has been established except for attraction. Maybe sad that she will get dumped, but life is that way as things we do in the past catch up to us. So I would cut my losses ... (read in full...)

Slept with my best friend, My boyfriend is hurt, help?

Q.   My best friend Michael and I always hang out on his bed and play video games, watch movies, listen to music, do work, or just talk. Last night we were just watching tv and taking about past senerios and we hit some that are sensitive to me and I ...

A.   6 February 2017: I am very surprised that both men are blaming themselves when it is you who did the cheating. It is very hard to comprehend how can a victim blame himself for the actions of the perpetrator. You cannot undo cheating. You cheated and it is up to... (read in full...)

Coming out for both of us is out of the question. Should I try to make both relationships work concurrently?

Q.   I am married with two children but in love with my bestfriend who is a girl My husband is not aware that i am bisexual...but he suspects...and knows that my best friend is weird..but he is the most understanding and loving man..i love him and wan...

A.   5 February 2017: What you are actually asking is whether it is OK for you to come out to your husband only and see if he will approve of you to have a love affair with your girlfriend but at the sane time not dump you. So basically, you want a polyamorous marriage. ... (read in full...)

What can I do about my OCD and paranoia?

Q.   I wanted to ask for some advice as I have been in counseling and been offered medications which both don't work. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was young and have sought medication/ therapy for it but lately I feel like I am going crazy- I'm always ...

A.   4 February 2017: Tell you doctor that the medication does not work. There are many other meds to treat your symptoms and you may have to try several before you find the right one that works for you. For some, counseling does not work but it can't hurt other then the ... (read in full...)

How can I get him back? Or has the damage been done?

Q.   My boyfriend broke up with me tonight and its my fault. I don't know how to fix this situation . I was with my boyfriend when 2 male friends who have a crush on me wrote me on Facebook. Ive known them since before my current relationship...

A.   22 January 2017: Like others say, his is a lame reason to breaking up ? However, he had a reason why he broke up and perhaps it isn't in your post. Did you two have issues with these two guys before? If there were prior incidences with these men, your weak response ... (read in full...)

My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?

Q.   My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...

A.   22 January 2017: Just because you haven't found a woman it does not mean you should be with your ex. She is an ex for a reason: she abandoned you and it is very telling of her whom she abandoned you for. It says that she makes bad decisions, is unstable and ... (read in full...)

He went out of his way to get my number but never called

Q.   Ok on a friday night at the gym i noticed this guy looking at me and well there was a mutual attraction. He kept looking at me the whole time i was there. I had gone into the hall to take a break and he passed by me as he was leaving and passed b...

A.   20 January 2017: You played it good by acting as nothing happened but so did he, meaning I find it very conspicuous that he would not engage with you at the gym but only away from the gym floor. That leads me to believe that there is another person at the gym floor ... (read in full...)

Married recently. Are these marriage problems happening too soon?

Q.   My husband and I just got married about a month ago, unfortunately we can't live together because neither of us have a job at the moment. Although we are looking. We see each once or twice a month. We text everyday and FaceTime, but now all of s...

A.   18 January 2017: Your problems stem from not being together and having no interaction. Honeypie is right: haven't you thought through the jobs and finances before deciding to marry? Finances are leading cause of divorce. You two need to urgently find a way to b... (read in full...)

Was that a one night stand?

Q.   A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a woman and we were looking to keep it casual. Friends with benefits if you will. Then when we get to my place asked her if she would like to have sex. She said no, and thought I was very attractive and fun, ...

A.   18 January 2017: I do not mean to be rude but rather honest in my my reply to what you post.... I had to think through which words would best describe your questioning of her twice as to if she wants to have sex... I went through such words as awkward, clumsy, ... (read in full...)

Should I continue dating someone who's 15 years older than me?

Q.   Hey guys, My question is should I continue to pursue a relationship with someone who's 15 years older than me? Okay so I am 21 next month , my boyfriend is 35. I did not know he was 35 when we first met because he told me he was 26. He said he k...

A.   17 January 2017: I have a relative who, like you, fell for a 17 year older guy who, like you, lied about his age. They went on to have 2 kids. Things went OK for few years until she found out that he was lied about his marriage status; he was twice married. Sex ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't post us on social media

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been official for about 90 days. I have very few complaints about him- I'm extremely happy. We go out regularly and spend lots of quality time together and go on fun dates. But he has nothing about us posted on social media. ...

A.   17 January 2017: There is a large group of people, me included, who don't post on Facebook, never go on Facebook, despise Facebook and want nothing to do with Facebook. Given that your guy hasn't posted anything on Facebook in 2+ years, he maybe one of these types. ... (read in full...)

If I am talking online to a guy, just talking as friends, with nothing sexual said, BUT is it cheating for me to do this?

Q.   Sometimes I talk to someone on Skype (just text never camera or voice), I came across them on Tumblr and we became friends. He is a guy and we mostly talk about random things, never anything sexual. He knows I have a boyfriend and to be honest h...

A.   16 January 2017: In many guy's mind, the fact that the other dude knows that you have a BF is meaningless because his knowledge of a BF hasn't precluded many men from snatching their GF. You can call it a completion thing, but it's just how lot of men are: they ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with too much of the "wetness"?

Q.   When I have sex I get really wet my ex who was my high school sweetheart used to tease me and say it was like dipping his penis in a bucket of water. We got used to it and would put a towel down to Eli mate clean up. Towards the end of our ...

A.   7 January 2017: From the guy's point of view, it all depends what that wetness is. Consider me: I know of "squirting" but I still have no clue whether it's true, how true and if true what that fluid is: pee or not pee, and if not pee then what? I'm sure most men... (read in full...)

Should I be more angry or just let it go? My wife confessed that she gave oral briefly to a male stripper at a party

Q.   Hi, my wife went to a girls party night recently where we both knew there would be male strippers. I was totally cool with it but she got carried away with the night and ended up giving a few seconds of oral to all but one of the stripper...

A.   6 January 2017: Male Anon who just noted "trickle truth" nailed this one for me. ... (read in full...)

After my past life I can't face his sexual demands

Q.   I am 42 and have been through a lot. I have been rapped when I was younger and beat by my mom and almost every guy I have been with. I need help trying to figure out something. My boyfriend gets mad at me for not wanting to do a 3-some. I ha...

A.   6 January 2017: "My boyfriend gets mad at me for not wanting to do a 3-some" You need another boyfriend. This one has ZERO respect for your needs and desires. He lacks empathy for your background and behaves like he is entitled to a 3some or whatever. I bet if y... (read in full...)

Should I be more angry or just let it go? My wife confessed that she gave oral briefly to a male stripper at a party

Q.   Hi, my wife went to a girls party night recently where we both knew there would be male strippers. I was totally cool with it but she got carried away with the night and ended up giving a few seconds of oral to all but one of the stripper...

A.   5 January 2017: I read your post earlier and had to think about how will I put this politely. First, your feelings are yours and if you feel no anger, then whatever your friends say is their opinion. You own your own emotions and are entitled to your actions.... (read in full...)

The phone messages he's been receiving from her do bother me. But how do I raise the issue with my husband?

Q.   Hello I am a woman in my late 20's who has been married for 2 years. I have a problem and don't know how to handle it. My husband back when we were first dating over 4 years ago had cheated on me with a woman he was friends with at a drunken par...

A.   5 January 2017: Tell your husband what you said here: I saw 2 messages from that woman whom you were supposed to be no contact. You said nothing, perhaps not to upset me but fact of the matter is that I am upset. By no contact, I mean sending and receiving. Why are ... (read in full...)

His behavior has me asking if he is bisexual!

Q.   Hey everyone, Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. I met my boyfriend in college almost 3 years ago. We've gotten along great and haven't had any serious issues...until now. I've just recently noticed that his behavior is a little od...

A.   5 January 2017: Wanting anal and the gay roommate does not indicate that he is bi, however him staring at men because they are attractive and wanting MMF so he can get on with the guy aren't things straight men want. Straight men may stare at dudes but for vastly ... (read in full...)

I don't like feeling so alone!

Q.   I need some advice on being lonely. I posted his question once before and would really appreciate some more help pleasseeeee I've been feeling so lonely that I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel that I have nothing to live for. All I do is...

A.   4 January 2017: Loneliness is a feeling and not a fact, so coupled with your other feeling, that you have nothing to live for, as well as compensatory habits such as going into public places... looks to me like an onset of a depression. There are people who choo... (read in full...)

In just 2 days? How can someone do that - fall out of love and become so cold to someone in such a short period of time?

Q.   Hi guys. Glad to be sharing my first post here with you - hopefully you can offer some perspective on what has been an incredibly difficult week... Apologies for how long this is likely to be - I want to make sure that I get as much detail in ...

A.   3 January 2017: Where is her Ex? Who is he? You could have been a ploy for her to get he Ex back, and once she did you no longer mattered. Which means you never mattered to her from the get go. I agree with you, this is a hard one to take, after being led on line ... (read in full...)

Why is he doing this? He tells me its my fault

Q.   My question is me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year. I have been deeply in love with this guy for a long time, we enjoy the same things we have fun together,but recently things have changed for the worse, we no long do things t...

A.   3 January 2017: This sounds to me like a bipolar disorder where manic episodes of anger repeat themselves periodically then is followed by him scrambling to undo the damage. Certain bipolar disorders can have these oscillating episodes of anger where the closest ... (read in full...)

Is my jealousy justified?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...

A.   2 January 2017: To answer your question in the title: No, your jealousy is not justified because everything that you cite about her that bothers you has nothing to do with you. Not one of those acts she did involve you nor were they done by her in view of you, ... (read in full...)

Waiting for a proposal for 3 years and then the ring was not to my taste. Am I worrying about things that matter in this situation?

Q.   Iv been waiting over 3 and a half years for a proposal for a wedding After much nagging about marriage I got a proposal with a 219 pound argos ring when he earns over 20 000 per annum which shows no saving as he bought even this on a per monthly ...

A.   1 January 2017: Perhaps the reason he took so long to propose is that he was wondering how bad will it all turn out. You just proved it with the petty whining over piece of gold. Had your man mattered and had the marriage mattered at all to you then any amount of ... (read in full...)

I like men but sometimes I want to see what it would be like to have a relationship with a woman also.

Q.   I like men alot but I want to see what it would be like to date a woman since I once had a fantasy of my fourth grade teacher years ago in my mind. She had ginger hai I also would look for red haired women in the Internet and would kiss their ...

A.   28 December 2016: Coming out as gay on account of a lesbian fantasy is rather premature. Having fantasies and acting on them are different degrees of personal commitment to sex. Having fantasies isn't real and unreal stuff does not indicate what your real sexual ... (read in full...)

How can I help my autistic brother have a normal life?

Q.   I would like some advice on what to do when you're autistic, aware of the way you differ from other 'normal' people, but still want to have a normal life that involves getting a job and a partner? I am asking on behalf of my brother because ...

A.   28 December 2016: Look for ways to help him be independent. Autistic people are really good at a specific skill so look to get him into some sort of a program where he would do and fix stuff, some sort of a practical skill like heating and cooling, computer repair ... (read in full...)

Is it my fault I can't make a man love me?

Q.   There are numerous books titled, "Make any man fall in love with you," or "Make any man want you" with things explaining how to make it happen. I haven't ever tried the advice from these books on anyone yet. These books make it seem like making...

A.   18 December 2016: Those type of books are total bunk. They are claims on popular (mis)belief that we can make anyone love us back. In reality, it is rather the opposite. Beating yourself for something he did not do does not make sense. Instead, reflect on the men ... (read in full...)

I'm comparing myself to his beautiful ex and feel like I don't measure up!

Q.   I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 4 years and I have yet to find any flaws in his looks or personality. In being up front, this is a question based out of my own insecurities and not from something he has done or said. He w...

A.   17 December 2016: "I'd like to hear from men on this one- do you look up your old girlfriends/wives and think "wow she looks amazing, I really missed out"? Are there reminants of your feelings that surface after you see her or bump into her?" Short answer is NO. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wont have sex because he is anxious about unwanted pregnancies

Q.   Hey there! So Ive been with my boyfriend for a year(to keep people anonymous we can call him bob) and I wasn't a virgin when I met him, but he was when we started dating. We've had sex more than a few times but he admitted to me some months ago...

A.   15 December 2016: You shouldn't feel guilty that you want sex, not guilty that you fantasize about it and if you don't want to loose your man then be sure you don't cheat. On the other hand, there are other ways he could sexually please you that does not involve ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says our sex life is boring for him, he wants things I don’t!

Q.   My boyfriend says our sex life is boring for him. We have been together for less than a year and he is my first boyfriend. He says he is bored with what we do. He wants anal, bondage, toys, and other stuff, I don't even know... The thing is I don...

A.   13 December 2016: Never do sex that you aren't comfortable with. If you don't want to do it, be sure you don't and tell him that clearly... and do not worry about that you hurt his feelings or what have you. Sex is for mutual enjoyment, and if he does not accept that ... (read in full...)

Is casual sex possible without emotion?

Q.   Is sex without emotions possible? I have only had two relations ships one long term since I was 20-26 and another one short brief 7 months ago- I grew up in a strict orthodox background that was never open to sex outside of marriage or being ...

A.   7 December 2016: For some people, it is possible. Some people view sex as just another activity, alike jogging or drinking coffee, so the stigma they attach to it could me minimal or perhaps about details of the act that wasn't as pleasing, as in insufficient amount ... (read in full...)

'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'

Q.   Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...

A.   5 December 2016: You should never engage in sexual acts which you are uncomfortable with. Doing sexual acts for sake of conforming to "society" of a clique or "out of love" is not something that should be done. If you are uncomfortable with doing the 3-some then ... (read in full...)

I think I deserve a straight answer

Q.   I asked this girl out recently who I actually thought liked me back, given all the flirting, but as soon as I asked if she wanted to go out, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I have to think about it, can I get back to you?” W...

A.   27 November 2016: I don't think that you "deserve" a clear yes or no but I agree with you that it would be nice particularly that she was flirting. It is somewhat irritating to see a girl exert so much fake flirtatious efforts for no ultimate aim. Be that as it ma... (read in full...)

I've planned a very elaborate threesome with my bf and another girl, but could still do with some advice..

Q.   Hi all. The live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are very solid, trust each other completely, with little to no jealousy whatsoever, and we have a great sex life. So after about 6 months of discussion, we've finally decided to ...

A.   25 November 2016: I wish to address your question number 3, but from the man's perspective. There was a time when I was open to the idea of a 3-some with my woman. We were together for a long time, loved each other, and 3-some porn as in FFM used to get me off o... (read in full...)

What does my best friend want from me? He is married but keeps asking for a secret relationship

Q.   He is married for 7 months. And he wants me to be in secret relationship with him. We are close friends since very long time and back in our college days we used to like each other not genuinely but just like crush on each other. We got so ...

A.   24 November 2016: I think you know what he is up to: he wants to have a wife and a FWB on the side and thinks he can convince you to be his mistress. Frankly, I see no friendship between you and him but just a giant sexual game where he is stirring up stuff. ... (read in full...)

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