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I made a joke. I'm now wondering about my boyfriend's response.

Q.   I told my boyfriend to look for a girl to marry as a joke and he told me he would after tomorrow, since tomorrow is his birthday. He said he prefers a blonde chick, and i am a brunette. I feel upset that he said that. Would anyone else be?...

A.   13 March 2018: Suppose I was a guy absolutely not interested in getting married now but my GF throws a “joke” to look for a wife. Joke is little irksome because she knows I’m not interested and she pokes. So I brush it off, sure I’ll start tomorrow, but then I ... (read in full...)

I pushed him away, do I still have a chance?

Q.   I met a really great guy in January but pushed him away with my insecurities. We live 2 hours apart but he always called/texted/facetimed me first. Two weeks into us getting to know each other I saw that some girl commented on a Facebook picture. He ...

A.   11 March 2018: You met him in January of 2018 but accusing him of stuff that he did in October of 2017. You never knew the guy in October, so how do you expand your boundary to be the judge and jury on matters you never have been involved in. This is alarming not ... (read in full...)

I can’t shake the things he told me! Am I being unreasonable and paranoid or is he lying?

Q.   So from a very young age of around 13 I was always strongly attracted to my teacher he was a lot older than me but there was just something. Fast forward 7 years and we start speaking every day problem is he’s married. At first we talked very ...

A.   24 February 2018: I’ll assume that you are 25, and that means that you have so much of life ahead to structure and set up. When you turn 51, do you want to be like him, a miserable predicament? Of course not. So just go no contact with this guy. You don’t need him in ... (read in full...)

He said he doesn't see it working out and doesn't want to waste my time

Q.   I went on a couple dates with a really nice guy. Our chemistry was great and he's got a winning sense of humor that I just really appreciate. Everything was on track and we scheduled a third. This date wasn't awesome. I guess I was having a rough da...

A.   23 February 2018: If I was you, I’d definitively go out with him on these additional dates and use the opportunity to probe him why he thinks he’d be wasting your time. The way you stated it, it may mean that you are looking for a quick marriage with skipping the ... (read in full...)

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

Q.   I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...

A.   20 February 2018: There is such thing as love on first sight, or total clarity in guy’s mind that the woman is the one he wants to settle with. Your guy is of that age. However, love is patient and not pushy so let’s suppose he is genuine... he should know not to ... (read in full...)

Should I pursue him or let it go? Help?

Q.   So I met on a  weekend trip with friends and met a guy. Our connection was amazing. My friends and I noticed he kept staring at me and then we eventually started talking. Our connection was pretty deep. Then things turned sexual.  Im living here in ...

A.   5 February 2018: He likes you. The issue is which way. Sexually obviously, so I would minimize all that, particularly sending pictures like that. You want to pursue him, sure, to find out if there is any future with him, and if so what kind. His age suggests that he ... (read in full...)

My fiancee wants to remain friends with her ex fwb

Q.   Dear aunts and uncles. I'm bothered my fiancee is still in contact with an EXFWB on Facebook. She told me about him about a year ago, she wanted me to meet him. They were FWB for about a year and a half and ended that relationship about 3 years ag...

A.   4 February 2018: This depends on whom you ask. As for me, I’d call off the engagement, dump her and move on. She can then have her guy who was banging her and with whom she wants “to catch up”. She’ll have all the time in the world. Notwithstanding that I’d never ... (read in full...)

My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?

Q.   I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...

A.   25 January 2018: I would actually run this by a civil right lawyer to see if you have an actionable situation. This guy abuses his power and I bet you are not a first woman who was his victim. ... (read in full...)

Married and seriously falling for my doctor

Q.   I am head over heels for my surgeon. I have been seeing him for about 4-5 months and my feelings keep getting stronger. There was only one time when I thought he might be interested. He told me I had a nice smile and put his hand on my thigh. Since ...

A.   23 January 2018: How is you texting him going to fix your marriage? How is you being so fixated on having an affair going to fix your marriage? How can cheating on your husband bring tranquility to your marriage? It is all about your marriage and not about that ... (read in full...)

He's abusive and I need to get out

Q.   I'm going through a really difficult period in my life and don't know what to do. How to restart and go on... I'm 41 and have been with my husband for 15 years, no kids. Good times and bad. Well now things have gotten pretty bad. The good times y...

A.   21 January 2018: I think that the ADHD is only one of the symptoms of his behavior. If he is throwing things, he likely also has Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Compulsive behavior often is another symptom with these two, however all 3 of these are often behaviors ... (read in full...)

Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...

A.   20 January 2018: If I was you, I’d treat this as a hostage situation in which he held onto your valuable and you have to dance around until you meet him again. So I’d meet up with him in some visible place, sweet-talk him into handing the ring into your hand, and ... (read in full...)

Should I be open to casual sex to gain experience?

Q.   I am a 25 yr old male with a problem in dating/sex I cant figure out. I am finishing medical school this year. I put in a lot of work/long hours to get where I am. I go to the gym try new hobbies etc. I was shy in high school,got better in...

A.   17 January 2018: You being educated, you’d appreciate this significant statistic which says that the more partners people have been with, less happy they are with whomever they end up with. The converse is that less people you’ve been with, happier will you be with ... (read in full...)

Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...

A.   17 January 2018: You shouldn’t spend time figuring out what happened. None of this is your fault nor your problem. For all we know, his GF was onto him that he was cheating behind her back. Or could be anything else, but whatever it is, it isn’t you. Nor should you ... (read in full...)

Is my diet likely to work?

Q.   Hey there folks. I am an unfit teen who is grossly over weight. I have heard about the apple a day thing. Does that work? I do excise Monday-Friday for about 40 mins. My mother has bad very bad eating habits, which I have grown up with and she'll ...

A.   17 January 2018: Eating apples is good but eating only apples is not good because you are depriving your body of other nutrients. So if you are eating one apple a day, you are on a crash diet, which can appear to slim you down fast but the starvation is ... (read in full...)

I'm getting married soon so why am I thinking of this other guy?

Q.   Hello, a few days ago i went to a family wedding with my fiancee. Everyone had a great time and got on well, it was brilliant! Only problem is, my cousin brought a friend with him who i now cant stop thinking about. We found we had a lot in com...

A.   16 January 2018: How long did it take you to build the relationship with your current man? Do you think you can replace him instantaneously on account that you met a guy once? Is this “met once” dude someone who can replace the man you got on the spot? Of course ... (read in full...)

How can I help him with his terrible snoring?

Q.   Dear Cupid. I need advice on how I can help my partner with his snoring! My partner and I have been together for just over three years. In the first year, year and a half my partner barely snored, we had a great bedtime routine. Fast for...

A.   14 January 2018: Has he gained weight in last year? Weight gain often causes this because air passages through the body are suddenly narrower while organs are looser and therefore spread. Loosing weight often fixes this. ... (read in full...)

Should I let her get satsfaction with another?

Q.   I’m seriously considering giving my wife permission to cheat on me; because I love her. Let me explain... I’m a 36yr old happily married man, married to a wonderful 30yr old woman with whom I have 3 children. We’ve been married for 5 years and ...

A.   12 January 2018: I think you have imaginary sexual problems. You wrongly believe that it is your size even though she told you twice that she prefers you the way you are. She told you, point blank, “it’s ok, even though it’s small, it’s perfect for me.” and then she ... (read in full...)

We met online a week ago and already love each other

Q.   I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...

A.   6 January 2018: You should deliberately give it some time to test your feelings over a longer period of time of courtship. Is it possible to feel that way and know that the person is the one on a first meeting? Sure it is, but that does not require immediate ... (read in full...)

My husband just can't stop grilling me about my ex and it's getting out of control now

Q.   Hi. I am 26 and just got married. I have known him from my school time. And we dated for 1 year untill we got married. He was always curious to know details about my past relationships. I had a boyfriend before him and it lasted for 3 years. My ...

A.   2 January 2018: I wouldn't break up this marriage. It's still new and this is its first test. Plus, both of you haven't don't anything to fix this situation. So far, the annoyance is escalating and both of you may ruin the marriage over nothing. Your husband ... (read in full...)

No sex in 3 years! Is he gay? Am I just a cover?

Q.   i've been seeing this guy for three years now I only see him on a Saturday till sunday, some times not even that we haven't had any sexual relationship yet sleep in the same bed , he said he don't think about sex ever , yet I found Viagra an durex ...

A.   1 January 2018: I'm assuming that your guy is in the same age bracket as you, and if so, he may have erectile dysfunction or some other hormonal imbalance such that he feels no desire for sex. I know men in this age bracket who are ED, tried Viagra but despise it ... (read in full...)

I found men's boxers next to my hot tub!

Q.   I have a hot tub in the back of the house. The yard is not fenced and there is open space behind where people often walk. Last night I found a pair of men's boxers that are not mine laying on the ground next to the tub. My wife of 19 years said ...

A.   21 December 2017: Did you question your teenage kids? What did they say?... (read in full...)

My wife wants an open relationship, I don't

Q.   My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....

A.   16 December 2017: She will get her "open" relationship one way or another. Whether you agree or not she will do it. So start thinking of what you will get because she does not care what you want. She does not care if you love her. Start loving yourself. If you don't ... (read in full...)

I need help to control his binge drinking

Q.   I need some advice. My husband has a problem with binge drinking. He can't stop at a couple and will just keep on drinking to he passes out. We don't really drink at home so it's only a problem if he goes out for drinks with friends. He normally ...

A.   9 December 2017: Your husband is a drunk. Perhaps functioning but still a drunk. I've had experience with such drunks. They would refrain from alcohol for days than weekend comes and they start downing until a blackout. Then they deny they have an alcohol problem ... (read in full...)

I feel guilty I cheated on my boyfriend with his boss

Q.   I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years and I’m beyond happy with him. The other night, we were fighting and I ended up leaving our apartment and just going for a drive when I stopped at the gas station and saw his ...

A.   8 December 2017: So imagine your BF talking to his boss, and the boss brims in satisfaction that he banged his GF. This being a close circuit, at some point, that creepy boss will dump subtle hints that he has had his woman and all of this will be exposed... while ... (read in full...)

My husband is having an affair with a woman half his age and lies about it!

Q.   Married 19 years my husband 54 is having an affair with a girl who is 27 he sits with her in different areas of the city and goes to her house when we go to church he knows that I know and continues to lie about everything what should I do?...

A.   8 December 2017: Examine your finances, see if you can survive on your own, if so get a lawyer and divorce him. ... (read in full...)

Mental health problem blighting my life

Q.   I wanted to come in here because I feel I need to ask for advice/feedback after some therapy had not worked. I have OCD and excessive rumination. I worry to the point where I feel I am handicapped from my thoughts. For example this incident jus...

A.   3 December 2017: Before accepting to take meds for this, I'd suggest you research this issue and see how much of the diagnosis and help you can do yourself. Mental health is a complicated issue and many times patients know better than the doctors, not just symptoms ... (read in full...)

Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair?

Q.   Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair? I know many would use harsh and negative remarks on such question. I did no Contact and he reached out and I caved in. I am thinking of telling his wife so that I can move on for good forever...

A.   28 November 2017: You said you caved in, so why don't you figure out what made you cave in so that the second time you go no contact you don't cave in. Perhaps he knows that you would cave in so he contacted you. Plus, even if you tell his wife, he maybe able to ... (read in full...)

Can we get back to normal after swinging?

Q.   Do you think there’s any hope of a relationship going back to normal after swinging? My husband and I have tried it - yes we had a lot of fun - but the lifestyle isn’t for me. When I tell him I want to stop we fight because he doesn’t want to stop. ...

A.   28 November 2017: You aren't selfish because being a swinger is not an necessity in life nor a moral obligation but raising kids is a necessity and a moral obligation. He can always stop what isn't necessary and if he does not want to then it's him who is selfish: he ... (read in full...)

Can we get back to normal after swinging?

Q.   Do you think there’s any hope of a relationship going back to normal after swinging? My husband and I have tried it - yes we had a lot of fun - but the lifestyle isn’t for me. When I tell him I want to stop we fight because he doesn’t want to stop. ...

A.   28 November 2017: I'd do number 2 and make him choose: sex with others or family. What will happen is impossible to tell but at least you have given it a shot at changing things. It could lead to number 3 but it does not have to. The kids younhave are as much his as ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my son that his girlfriend is cheating on him?

Q.   My sons girlfriend is cheating on him??? Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I ...

A.   26 November 2017: She has been cheating for 5 out of 9 years that they have been together. That's over 60% of the time. Most of their relationship is a scam and not real. This relationship needs to be dismantled. So go to your son and show him evidence now. Why would ... (read in full...)

Any advice on Dear Cupid burn-out?

Q.   I know I'm not the most active poster here and I'm not hoping that anyone would recognize me but I'm just gonna post this here for a message and maybe some advice. I'm thinking of leaving DearCupid for some time, all this posts about cheating...

A.   22 November 2017: Well, I hear what you say because you read someone's post and think why can't they see how their original stupid action has snowballed into this. And it's hard to moralize on people these days but had they followed basic morals, human and sexual, ... (read in full...)

My world has come crashing down because my wife just told me that the daughter we've been raising is not mine but from her affair after the marriage!

Q.   My wife and i have been married for 3 years, 6 months ago she told me something that rocked my core. the daughter i have been raising is not mine. she had an affair 2 years ago. the reason she cheated was that she was a virgin when we got married ...

A.   20 November 2017: Frankly, her excuse for cheating is bogus. And not only that, but callous as well because she lied deliberately about the baby. Very cruel and premeditated. Anyway, you should not cheat. It does nothing. It solves nothing. It's like getting ... (read in full...)

I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.

Q.   I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...

A.   19 November 2017: To be honest, if this was single me on the receiving end of the nude picture, I'd think that what I have is an easy, effortless sex so I would pursue it without any expectation of anything more. I would also tend to think that you may have done this ... (read in full...)

How do I tell him his breath smells?

Q.   I am seeing the most amazing person I have ever met, but I have a problem. His breath always smells and I have no idea how to bring this sensitive subject up without hurting his feelings. I did not notice it at first, but recently I have become ...

A.   18 November 2017: Sometimes people don't even know they have this condition especially if it's some stomach issue like gastritis. If bad teeth, such issues are often noticed by the patient. So I'd be straight forward and ask if he knows about his breath and help him ... (read in full...)

How to deal with a more sexually experienced partner?

Q.   I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. I'm not particularly handsome either and I am obese. I will be visiting an escort in a few weeks to lose my virginity. Finally I'll get to feel what intimacy is like. However I've b...

A.   17 November 2017: Having more sex partners could, in many instances, mean that you are less good. You shouldn't worry about how many she has had. That means nothing because lot of them could have been duds and a waste. Focus on her and seek to please her, and your ... (read in full...)

How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?

Q.   After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...

A.   11 November 2017: Im not claiming that I know her motives but here are some that I know of that cheating wives used. One is that they love to be desired by men so that thrill of being desired (or her ability to make him desire her) is what may have motivate... (read in full...)

What does his taste in porn say about what he's actually fantasizing about?

Q.   Would love some male opinions on a porn question.... My husband watches "cheating wife" porn. The "subject" confuses me. Is it a fantasy about cheating with another married woman, or a fantasy about his wife (me) cheating with someone, ie: cuc...

A.   10 November 2017: "Cheating wife" is the second most popular porn category according to some major studies. It is wide ranging category that includes wife cheating with a woman or another man. Since there is more than 2 people, there is a wide range of characters ... (read in full...)

I have feelings for a recently married woman.

Q.   I recently realized i have feelings for a woman who has not long been married, it is at the point that i can't think of anything else, i'm not sure if she has picked up on this by my body language, i am dying to tell her how i feel but..i can't ...

A.   9 November 2017: Certain things, after certain events, become off limits. This is one of them. That woman is off limits for you no matter what you feel. Instead of telling her I'd suggest working on yourself to get her off your mind. ... (read in full...)

There is no intimacy in our marriage .... is my wife having an affair?

Q.   I have been married for 15 years. Beginning of marriage the sex life was great. Then all of sudden I had to wear a condom didn't want me to orgasm inside her. The kissing stopped was only just a peck on the cheek or lips. Once a month she has dinner ...

A.   8 November 2017: I don't see any evidence of her cheating. Have you asked why she is cold? How well do you two communicate & express feelings? Have you tried to make her open up and express her self? Have you two talked about rekindling the old spirit of flirting... (read in full...)

My husband is flat out lying to me!

Q.   Is it ok to snoop if i am being lied to? My husband keeps telling me that his 'penis is broken'. We havent had sex in two months or so. Hes massively stressed out. The thing is that in the last two weeks i have given him two blowjobs and we have act...

A.   5 November 2017: Broken penis is a very serious medical condition which cannot linger for very long. Bruised penis, from masturbating, happens. Is he lying? Probably. Instead of being angry at him, I think you should find out why he prefers fantasy over a real t... (read in full...)

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