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*arbo

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My partner will not admit that she uses a vibrator and its making me feel inadquate

Q.   I've recently discovered that my partner if 6 years is secretly using a vibrator when she thinks I'm asleep. This has been ongoing now for 5 months and every time I ask her she becomes very angry and denial sets in. We have a very open relationship ...

A.   26 June 2017: Offer to do the vibrator on her yourself. There is a great way for you to make her feel good. You don't have to have her admit anything. Let all that go and move on with pleasing her with the vibrator yourself. ... (read in full...)

Am I foolish to forgive my girlfriend for cheating?

Q.   In January I found out that I'd been offered a promotion at work. A fantastic opportunity to change my life, but it involved 6 months living abroad. My girlfriend of 4 years didn't want me to go initially, but after talking things through she agreed ...

A.   25 June 2017: Her excuse for having sex behind your back is not lame but outright repugnant. Imagine your life with her so whenever she has sex with someone you are to be blamed. This is not a question of you being stupid but a question why are you even ... (read in full...)

What goes through a man's head when he sees his wife having sex with another man?

Q.   To make it short my husband and I are into guys joining us for sex . But husband has always joined for sex until recently when at a party when a black guy paid attention to me more than normal. So at husbands request I invited him home for a ...

A.   18 June 2017: To someone who finds such sex despicable, it is not up to me nor is it possible to guess what your husband thinks. You should ask him... (read in full...)

Scared my marriage is failing because of him

Q.   Hi everyone! Could do with some advice please as I am scared for my marriage. I have been married for 2 years, together 6. I have a 6 month old and 2 step children and the lovely husband. Everyone dotes on my daughter and she is our everythi...

A.   12 June 2017: Have you tried getting other people who are close to him to influence him about your predicament? I get it that he pays not attention to you and that you tried getting that to him which failed, but try to get others to explain the situation and ... (read in full...)

I'm married and have fallen for a married friend. Do I pursue this?

Q.   I am 29 years old. Im maried in 2010 with 2 kids (3 and 5). I met my wife when i was 15 and have been with her ever since. I have never cheated on her or even talked to another woman inappropriately. But the other day we were hanging out with some ...

A.   12 June 2017: "I dont want to hurt any one. Especially my children" So how could an affair with another married woman not hurt children? How do you imagine that affair with her will not hurt 3 other people: her, her husband and your wife? Some maturity... (read in full...)

Struggling with intense feelings for a married colleague

Q.   I'm married with one child and I'm infatuated with a male colleague that's also married. Although we work together in the same team, we aren't in the same city so don't have to see each other every day but we do tend to have some form of daily ...

A.   11 June 2017: You are just infatuated and wish your husband did things this guy did. You know there is no future with your flirt guy so seek ways to end it. In fact, he probably knows there is no future with you but he may keep it going for opportunity to have ... (read in full...)

He has ED, should I stay with him?

Q.   I am planning to settle down with this guy as I really want kids (I've wanted them for years) and I'd like someone to help bring them up. I've been dating for a few months and found out that he has erectile dysfunction. I am not in love with him...

A.   29 May 2017: You say you are not in love with him. He has ED so he can't even fulfill the sexual part. So why be romantically involved with a person who fulfills none of the basic romantic criteria. He maybe a nice guy but if that is the criteria for a romance ... (read in full...)

I pretty much hate my husband and need to find a way to get out of my marriage

Q.   I apologize upfront because this will be a long one. Im just going to get things out there as i think about them so hopefully it will make some sense. Im Looking for a little advice and I'm not sure where to turn. I've been married for 12 years and ...

A.   29 May 2017: 3 times per week of drinking leaves you with 4 days of not drinking of which 2 are spent either sobering up or dealing with post drinking anger. So basically, your relationship is based on only 2 days per eeek of some decent interaction. Put another ... (read in full...)

Advise needed about my husband's therapist!

Q.   Hi all, I'm really confused and would appreciate your help. My husband's therapist wants me to LIE to my husband and I'm not comfortable with it. My husband has been in therapy for almost 10 years. The last shrink changed our lives 8 mont...

A.   24 May 2017: I would definitively change the therapist. Irrespective of his reason, the therapist obviously does not have enough time to know his patient and attend to his needs. This isn't just about writing a prescription although many psychiatrists reduce ... (read in full...)

He's engaged and 13 years older than me. Could things work out?

Q.   How many years apart is too many? The man I love is 13 years older than me, I believe it's one sided, but I'm just curious on what people believe. He's also engaged, could this possibly work out for me at all?...

A.   19 May 2017: There is nothing for you to work out. He is committing to someone else and not you, so what's in it for you. Nothing. He maybe stringing you along in various ways by playing your emotions but that is for his benefit. Eventually, after wasting ... (read in full...)

Do I call this married man?

Q.   I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...

A.   19 April 2017: The reason why your guy is a married man is to stay married with his wife, which means he hasn't chosen to be married with you nor does he plan. Perhaps you are vulnerable or susceptible to authority of an older man, but if he had problems with his ... (read in full...)

What do women look for in a man for a boyfriend?

Q.   What do women really look for in a man for a boyfriend?...

A.   11 April 2017: Women want to be adored, desired and shown attention, and having a great career, money and personality always helps and can offset lack of any good looks. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants me to indulge in an MMF threesome with his best friend

Q.   My boyfriend of a year recently asked me if I would be into a MMF threesome with one of his best friends, although his words were "tag team". He revealed it was one of his fantasy's, and asked me if I would be into it. At the time I said I don't ...

A.   15 March 2017: This is not a common fantasy for a man. Only a small subset of men want to see their woman "banged" by another man. Guys with this fetish are referred as "cuckolds" because no man typically should allow what's dear to him to be used by anothe guy. ... (read in full...)

Is this normal? I have never been so happy about ending a relationship.

Q.   Hello. I have a very short question for those who have enough knowledge about star signs(if you don't you may google info). Short story: I am a capricorn female (21) my boyfriend (now ex) is a Pisces (23). Our relationship was full of drama bu...

A.   12 March 2017: It is normal. It happened to me with my first GF. I was regretting the fact that I have ever met her. Finally when she stopped calling me I felt relief as though my life has come to be normal. So enjoy your feeling ... and astrology most likely has ... (read in full...)

Does a man call a woman a bad word because of how he sees her physically?

Q.   Do men call women wh..res because they think they are ugly ? Is it because it's thought a woman is not attractive enough to be appealing enough for a man to want to date and marry that she would have to sell herself sexually in order to survive ...

A.   11 March 2017: In the "urban" setting the word bitch is assigned to a female nearly by default implying stubborn verbal nastieness with which a man can never either get a word in or get any reasoned settlement. By contrast, word whore is assigned to a female w... (read in full...)

Porn related little white lie - should I let it go?

Q.   Should I bring it up or let it go? My husband is very busy running three businesses. He gets very stressed with it. Sometimes he masturbates to porn to relieve tension - I know all this, it's not every day or all the time. Sometimes I use his ...

A.   10 March 2017: Some men feel that the porn usage is either too much or inappropriate in other ways so they delete history as way to start clean. It's an internal way of staying away from something that addictive. Your man could be this type. Knowing that he may ... (read in full...)

Does he have a sexual addiction to anal? The business card has raised questions for me. Should I ask him?

Q.   Hey Guys, From some time in my 3 years of ”Inconsistent” Relationship with my bf, we had sex once a week (we could not do it more ”due to schedules and his medical studies”) Besides not having much sex, he also happened to have, well I could de...

A.   8 March 2017: Rule 1: never have sexual that you don't want to nor enjoy. Sex has to please both people or it shouldn't happen. That anal sex should have never happened the second time, let alone few others. He might have an addiction or may not, but one othe... (read in full...)

I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend that I cheated or not

Q.   Okay so I went out one night at the start of my relationship and I barely remember anything. I'd gone out with a few friends and end up in a club on my own. I got speaking to a guy and he walked me part way home. He ended up giving me his number but ...

A.   6 March 2017: Why don't you first determine for sure whether you kissed or not. Then determine if drunken kissing constitutes cheating in your relationship? Then determine what threshold of cheating constitutes a break up? Frankly, lot of women use the "drunk" ... (read in full...)

I was cheating and my husband found out.

Q.   Im a 28 year old female whos been having an intense sexual affair with another man for the past three years..my husband recently found out about us and told me to stop or else..I stopped seeing this other man, hoping my relationship with my husband ...

A.   1 March 2017: If your situation was any good, you would not be here asking for advice. You know that. Second, when you said that you can't get your lover out of your mind, you answered your own question as to what to do. It is obvious that your husband ... (read in full...)

Does anyone know of a "safe" or reasonably safe natural remedy that a man in his senior years could use as a stimulate?

Q.   I am 87 years old. Periodically what testosterone I have,kicks in with a vengeance and I long for sex. Or even succeeding at masturbation. My main problem is ED. I have been tempted to try Viagra or Cialis but they are not effective for me. Some of...

A.   27 February 2017: Natural things that could get you harder are all the ones that increase nitric oxide to the penis the way Viagra does. These natural things are arginine, Citrulline, Tribulus, tongakat Ali, yohimbine,DHEA, pycnogenol... there maybe other things but ... (read in full...)

I do not enjoy being 30 pounds overweight. How do I come to terms with the fact that the medication I must take is also making it much harder to lose weight?

Q.   A combination of menopause and necessary medication is making it extremely hard for me to lose weight . The medication is actually what caused the weight gain and through working with my dr I did try alternatives but nothing else seemed to work for...

A.   26 February 2017: I would not accept the fact that 30 pounds overweight is a permanent condition. You are of age that hormonal imbalances in both men and women occur. I would go get all of them looked at, not just the amount of say estrogen you have but also what is ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with a guy who is insecure that I had sexual experiences before him?

Q.   How do I deal with a guy who is insecure that I had sexual experiences before him? Is that even normal for a guy to feel? Early in our relationship, he was disappointed that I wasn't a virgin. Then he was weirded out when he found out that he wasn't ...

A.   12 February 2017: Why does he need to know the details of the past? If past is past, why not just leave it there and not talk about it? Have him to agree not to ask and you promise not to tell. Agree only to talk about you two. ... (read in full...)

Our arguments often lead to physical altercations!

Q.   ive been in this relationship for about five months now and things are definitely not the way i thought they would be. I care deeply about this man but the communication is limited. We get into arguments which some end in physical altercations. Both ...

A.   12 February 2017: Most definitively, you must dump him. Perhaps leave a little note that you are leaving him because he is physically abusive, but simply disappear and go no contact with him. He may try to sweet talk you if you reply back. Also, once you leave, be mi ... (read in full...)

I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   9 February 2017:  Everyone has sexual boundaries, those which they will never do and those which they expect that others won't do them. So is with you, and it is understandable that you have that criteria. Sure, everyone has a past, but that does not mean that ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's sexual past troubles me, What should I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months and we both are in love and have talked about a future. we both talked about pasts as well and got on the subject of sex. i was disgusted when she told me on how many people she slept with and...

A.   9 February 2017: Look, you will get lot of flack over this for variety of reasons: that everyone has a past, that you are not to judge, that you have double standards on gender ... etc. None of that addresses the fact of the matter which is that you have disgust for ... (read in full...)

I'm torn between two guys. I'm wondering, what should I do?

Q.   Hello anyone out there willing to give me advice. I seem to have gotten myself into a significant amount of a problem. I'm torn between two guys. One my High school sweetheart Man1 whom I went out with for around 4 and a half years. We'd always a...

A.   8 February 2017: Man2 actually seems to be a presumptuous control freak who always demands to know where you are in order to disprove his presumptions. I don't see that "quality" in Man1. ... (read in full...)

If I was happy, I wouldn't have had cybersex with the guy online. Anyone got advice? Should I tell my bf about what I did?

Q.   I became friends with this guy online. The conversations started off as topics about forums (met on a forum so) memes, YouTube, just general Internet stuff really. However, it slowly got a little flirtatious, and last night, I was drinking and we ...

A.   6 February 2017: Your friend's advice is good advice. Go no contact with your cyber-sex guy, block him and if must, delete app. Then no more cyber sex with anyone in the future. Reason why you had cyber sex is because it felt good. Not everything that feels go... (read in full...)

I'm worried I could catch herpes from her if we become intimate!

Q.   Hello,am in a dilemma. I met someone. It's like we are on the same page. Over at her house the other night, going great, a little kissing hugging, watching a movie, and pizza... Then she started crying. She had to tell me something. I thought ...

A.   6 February 2017: If this was me, I would drop this. You met only twice and not much of a bond has been established except for attraction. Maybe sad that she will get dumped, but life is that way as things we do in the past catch up to us. So I would cut my losses ... (read in full...)

Slept with my best friend, My boyfriend is hurt, help?

Q.   My best friend Michael and I always hang out on his bed and play video games, watch movies, listen to music, do work, or just talk. Last night we were just watching tv and taking about past senerios and we hit some that are sensitive to me and I ...

A.   6 February 2017: I am very surprised that both men are blaming themselves when it is you who did the cheating. It is very hard to comprehend how can a victim blame himself for the actions of the perpetrator. You cannot undo cheating. You cheated and it is up to... (read in full...)

Coming out for both of us is out of the question. Should I try to make both relationships work concurrently?

Q.   I am married with two children but in love with my bestfriend who is a girl My husband is not aware that i am bisexual...but he suspects...and knows that my best friend is weird..but he is the most understanding and loving man..i love him and wan...

A.   5 February 2017: What you are actually asking is whether it is OK for you to come out to your husband only and see if he will approve of you to have a love affair with your girlfriend but at the sane time not dump you. So basically, you want a polyamorous marriage. ... (read in full...)

What can I do about my OCD and paranoia?

Q.   I wanted to ask for some advice as I have been in counseling and been offered medications which both don't work. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was young and have sought medication/ therapy for it but lately I feel like I am going crazy- I'm always ...

A.   4 February 2017: Tell you doctor that the medication does not work. There are many other meds to treat your symptoms and you may have to try several before you find the right one that works for you. For some, counseling does not work but it can't hurt other then the ... (read in full...)

How can I get him back? Or has the damage been done?

Q.   My boyfriend broke up with me tonight and its my fault. I don't know how to fix this situation . I was with my boyfriend when 2 male friends who have a crush on me wrote me on Facebook. Ive known them since before my current relationship...

A.   22 January 2017: Like others say, his is a lame reason to breaking up ? However, he had a reason why he broke up and perhaps it isn't in your post. Did you two have issues with these two guys before? If there were prior incidences with these men, your weak response ... (read in full...)

My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?

Q.   My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...

A.   22 January 2017: Just because you haven't found a woman it does not mean you should be with your ex. She is an ex for a reason: she abandoned you and it is very telling of her whom she abandoned you for. It says that she makes bad decisions, is unstable and ... (read in full...)

He went out of his way to get my number but never called

Q.   Ok on a friday night at the gym i noticed this guy looking at me and well there was a mutual attraction. He kept looking at me the whole time i was there. I had gone into the hall to take a break and he passed by me as he was leaving and passed b...

A.   20 January 2017: You played it good by acting as nothing happened but so did he, meaning I find it very conspicuous that he would not engage with you at the gym but only away from the gym floor. That leads me to believe that there is another person at the gym floor ... (read in full...)

Married recently. Are these marriage problems happening too soon?

Q.   My husband and I just got married about a month ago, unfortunately we can't live together because neither of us have a job at the moment. Although we are looking. We see each once or twice a month. We text everyday and FaceTime, but now all of s...

A.   18 January 2017: Your problems stem from not being together and having no interaction. Honeypie is right: haven't you thought through the jobs and finances before deciding to marry? Finances are leading cause of divorce. You two need to urgently find a way to b... (read in full...)

Was that a one night stand?

Q.   A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a woman and we were looking to keep it casual. Friends with benefits if you will. Then when we get to my place asked her if she would like to have sex. She said no, and thought I was very attractive and fun, ...

A.   18 January 2017: I do not mean to be rude but rather honest in my my reply to what you post.... I had to think through which words would best describe your questioning of her twice as to if she wants to have sex... I went through such words as awkward, clumsy, ... (read in full...)

Should I continue dating someone who's 15 years older than me?

Q.   Hey guys, My question is should I continue to pursue a relationship with someone who's 15 years older than me? Okay so I am 21 next month , my boyfriend is 35. I did not know he was 35 when we first met because he told me he was 26. He said he k...

A.   17 January 2017: I have a relative who, like you, fell for a 17 year older guy who, like you, lied about his age. They went on to have 2 kids. Things went OK for few years until she found out that he was lied about his marriage status; he was twice married. Sex ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't post us on social media

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been official for about 90 days. I have very few complaints about him- I'm extremely happy. We go out regularly and spend lots of quality time together and go on fun dates. But he has nothing about us posted on social media. ...

A.   17 January 2017: There is a large group of people, me included, who don't post on Facebook, never go on Facebook, despise Facebook and want nothing to do with Facebook. Given that your guy hasn't posted anything on Facebook in 2+ years, he maybe one of these types. ... (read in full...)

If I am talking online to a guy, just talking as friends, with nothing sexual said, BUT is it cheating for me to do this?

Q.   Sometimes I talk to someone on Skype (just text never camera or voice), I came across them on Tumblr and we became friends. He is a guy and we mostly talk about random things, never anything sexual. He knows I have a boyfriend and to be honest h...

A.   16 January 2017: In many guy's mind, the fact that the other dude knows that you have a BF is meaningless because his knowledge of a BF hasn't precluded many men from snatching their GF. You can call it a completion thing, but it's just how lot of men are: they ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with too much of the "wetness"?

Q.   When I have sex I get really wet my ex who was my high school sweetheart used to tease me and say it was like dipping his penis in a bucket of water. We got used to it and would put a towel down to Eli mate clean up. Towards the end of our ...

A.   7 January 2017: From the guy's point of view, it all depends what that wetness is. Consider me: I know of "squirting" but I still have no clue whether it's true, how true and if true what that fluid is: pee or not pee, and if not pee then what? I'm sure most men... (read in full...)

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