How does one differentiate between a crush and real love?
Q. Hello :) I read some of the questions posted here and they've left me wondering... What is the difference between a small crush, fancying someone, infatuation and being in love? I know that with each one feelings run deeper. But how exactly do y...
A. 17 November 2009: This is a good question! - Unfortunately not many people really know the answer to this - or there would be a lot less divorces in the world! - They think they are in love when it was only a crush, they think they have a crush when really it was ... (read in full...)
My mum made me have an abortion but now I can't stop thinking about the baby I gave up.
Q. Im 14 years old, 15 in march. This February i had an abortion, my mom made me have an a abortion as i was too young to keep the baby, but i was too scared to tell my mom that i wanted to keep the baby. All i do now is think about what if i kept i...
A. 1 November 2009: This is very difficult - I agree - neither your mum nor any other person should make you have an abortion if you do not agree or are not ready for one. But equally you were very young and daft to be having sex which is also wrong!
All you can do n... (read in full...)
Does it matter if the girl is taller and older than you?
Q. Hi.. I am in love with a girl who is ten months elder than me. Most probably, she is taller than me.. I am 166 cm, where she is 173 cm.. Keeping this barrier in mind, I didn't propose her yet.. I met her before two months and we are working together ...
A. 24 October 2009: Ten months older?!!! - Are you for real? - I know women who are TEN YEARS older than their men and still going strong - so ten months is nothing - I mean basically you are virtually the SAME AGE!! As for 7cm - I am about 6 or 7cm taller than my m... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he is 26. Is this bad?
Q. right well im 15 .. and ive been going out with this lad who is 26 ... but ive been with him for nearly a year .. and where so happy .. he treats me like a princess and buys me what i want and loves me loads ... and evryone says im a very mature 15 ...
A. 22 October 2009: Then if its nothing sexual - you have nothing to worry about! - Good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he is 26. Is this bad?
Q. right well im 15 .. and ive been going out with this lad who is 26 ... but ive been with him for nearly a year .. and where so happy .. he treats me like a princess and buys me what i want and loves me loads ... and evryone says im a very mature 15 ...
A. 21 October 2009: Hi! - I would be VERY careful here! - I know a guy who was 29 and dating a 15 year old girl. They had sex and he ended up going to jail for it because her parents prosecuted!!
In reality - men who are well in their 20's and are dating young te... (read in full...)
How do I get over the tattoo he has dedicated to his ex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about four years now. Our relationship is not bad. I just can't seem to get over the fact that he has a tatoo dedicated to his ex on his stomach. Its her name and her eyes. It drives me crazy. I wish I could do ...
A. 19 October 2009: Hi! - I have the EXACT same problem!! - My man has his ex's name tattooed across his stomach in BIG letters! - It doesn't bother me too much - but even if he were to remove it - it would leave a massive scar as the writing is SO big!! - So like you ... (read in full...)
Why should I save my virginity when other people don't?
Q. Why should I save my virginity when others people don't ? and why would I wait for the right girls in case the right girl could be a loose one as well. I can't see any points of waiting for me. even my ex-girlfriend when she was with me she siad she...
A. 16 October 2009: Do it for yourself! - Not for anyone else!! Unfortunately though life isn't like a romantic fairytale!And virgins don't necessarily find virgins! Like you - I stayed a virgin for a long time but when I decided to loose it - it was to a guy wh... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring me?
Q. I like this guy a lot. We had sex about a week ago which was my first time and now he's ignoring me. When I call he doesn't answer when I text he doesn't text back. If he does he says he's working. I really don't know since he use to do it before he ...
A. 27 September 2009: This is a classic case of a man sweet-talking a woman into bed and once he has - he loses interest!
It sounds like you've been had - and hopefully you are now wise enough to realise NEVER have sex with a man until you know you are in a steady rela... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has just disappeared! It's been a week now, how long should I wait before moving on?
Q. My girlfriend has dropped off the map for a week now and i have sent online messages, texts, and left voice messages, but she did not respond to any of them what so ever. I did however get a response from her cousin that said that she had left the...
A. 9 September 2009: I used to have the same problem with my guy - one minute he would phone all the time - and the next I would be waiting 2 weeks!! - The longest I had to wait was 3 weeks - but usually there is some underlying reason!!
The question you need to ask y... (read in full...)
How does it make you feel when Valentine's Day comes around and you're still without that special someone?
Q. This question is for the single women of the dearcupid community, any age also k. K, so ladies, let me ask this to you, being single is hard sumtimes I know, but what goes on in your mind when your wishing you had someone to hold you in the early ...
A. 17 August 2009: Why is this question coming up in August?? - Its funny, throughout my life, I have rarely dated anyone on or around Valentines day! - So I often have had you're feelings of being lonesome!! - However, once Valentine's day has been and gone you tend... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me. Will he ever change?
Q. My boyfriend is always broke! We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. I am a recent grad with BS, he doesn't even have a GED. I'm 24, he's 25, but he's been financially dependent on me and it's draining my savings. He's a g...
A. 30 June 2009: Hi - I'm in a similar situation to you - only I don't live with my fella!
My boyfriend is currently out of work but is keen to get a job only he is fussy as to where to work. He depends on me for hand outs, clothes etc - which I don't mind givi... (read in full...)
Is it okay too have sex with a girl you don't really like, when you like someone else?
Q. is it okay too have sex with a girl you dont really like when you like someone else ?...
A. 27 May 2009: Ha! - I like Kelly's answer - full of depth!! - But she is right! - Only have sex with someone you want to become involved with because you can bet the other person will have/or soon will develop feelings for you - so don't mess em around unless t... (read in full...)
If he wants anal then go gay!
Q. What is up with guys wanting to try Anal!! I am tired of every single guy i have dated wanting to try it. I am a girl I have a vag... If he wants anal go gay!!... Please explain how a guy sticking his dick in a butt hole with poop coming out of be ...
A. 14 May 2009: I agree! Why are people so brainwashed by what they see in magazines and on porno channels?!! - I suppose these people think that everyone has a perfect bronzed body and are beautifully made up like in the porno vids too while having sex!!! ... (read in full...)
Am I too short to be loved...???
Q. Hi Will women notice a good looking but only 5'8" guy? Will they find him handsome? Or is it too short for them?... I cant stop thinking about my height for months. I'm almost 20 so i wont grow up anymore, and ive never had a gf before, n...
A. 10 May 2009: Hi - 5ft 8 is a decent enough height for a man! - Don't worry!!
- Most women are less than that height anyway - so they wouldn't see it as a problem.
I myself am seeing a man who is about an inch or so smaller than me (and I'm only 5ft 5!) - bu... (read in full...)
Head over heels in love with a guy who doesn't love me back
Q. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I've tried eveything possible but i can't help it, i am totally head over heels in love with this guy that clearly doesn't love me back. He could make me the happiest girl in the world if only he loved ...
A. 7 May 2009: Like you - I am head over heels in love with a guy that I know is using me too - but more for money than sex!
- I don't know what it is with these men - but "treat em mean keep em keen" obviously seems to work!!
- One day we will get our sight ba... (read in full...)
We passed 100,000 questions published on DearCupid
Q. Today is another milestone in DearCupid history: Over 100,000 questions (100,020 as I write this) have been published! Wow. Thanks to the aunts, the moderators and everyone who shares their problem. As always any ideas on how to improve the s...
A. 7 May 2009: Grrreat!!... (read in full...)
We're both married, how do I get him to leave his wife for me?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for about 1 year and the thing is hes married and before you start to judge me please just hear me out! i really love him. and he loves me too! anyways i am just the type of person that believes that if you want something ...
A. 27 April 2009: I must firstly say that I DO NOT believe in affairs with married partners - but why do people always say the husband will never leave the wife?? Statistics show that 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce which means that 50% of husbands/wives must lea... (read in full...)
Glad he's a good dad, but was I the rebound girl?
Q. I can't help but to feel jealous when my boyfriend talks about his baby mother. He tells me he can't stand her and they will never be together again. He will never mess with a younger girl again; But he says he loves her cause she takes care of ...
A. 14 April 2009: Hi! - I am in the same situation as you! - I'm with a guy who has a child to a woman who he says he doesn't get along with and is always arguing with him!
The trouble is there will always be that bond and even when guys say they aren't in love wit... (read in full...)
He cheats and lies...I WANT HIM
Q. I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE! god some1 help me please i found out my bf cheated on me with his ex gf,then he sed hes bi,now he fanceys my best guy m8 and yet im still here cryin and begging him to take me back.i love him so much i just want 2 screa...
A. 3 April 2009: Firstly, If you seem too desperate for him - you will chase him even further away!!
Men who treat women badly seem to hold onto their women for some unknown reason!! - I,(like you) am/was seeing a guy who is totally unreliable and a user - but I lo... (read in full...)
He's going to marry someone else. I can't stop crying.
Q. Can't stop crying... I'm feeling so low today. I keep thinking about my ex and his girlfriend. I'm thinking about how happy they are, I'm seeing them in bed. They've just come back from holiday, so I'm seeing them holding hands. Kissing, lying ...
A. 31 March 2009: I know this is from last year - but I would like to say that I am 39 too - and heartbroken from a man who wants his ex! - I think the late 30s is a bad time to have your heart broken!!... (read in full...)
What do I do? I just got my first period!
Q. Please help i'm at home with just my dad and little sister and i just started my PERIOD for the first time what do i do? I don't have any pads or any of that here and i don't feel right going to tell my dad! and my mom is at work...
A. 27 March 2009: To the girl who just got her period! - Hope your mum is back soon and you can tell her all about it!
But like Gina says - just use lots of toilet paper for now!!
Don't panic!!... (read in full...)
Will having anal sex ruin you or stretch you out in "that area"??
Q. Just curious... will having anal sex ruin you or stretch you out in "that area"?? How long does it generally take to work up to being able to actually have anal sex without it hurting so much?...
A. 24 March 2009: Yeah - I agree with the others! - Our body parts all have a specific function and the vagina was made for intercourse NOT the anus - hence the reason why it hurts so much and rips/bleeds etc while having sex!!
If your man is wanting anal sex - go... (read in full...)
Single forever..any guy I fancy always fancies someone else!
Q. being single forever,never had a boyfriend don,t know how to get one,any guy i fancy ,fancies someone else. the only guy i thought like me didn,t,always on my own hopeless with guys.30 years old,i hate dating websites,i am shy,quiet,i play hard to ...
A. 11 March 2009: If you feel you are fat and ugly - try and alter your appearance a bit - even little things can boost your confidence - like going to the hairdressers, getting your nails done etc etc.
The slightest improvement will make you feel better!
Try... (read in full...)
Do men have a forgiving nature?
Q. do guys have forgiven nature or not.guy said i was rotten to him years ago and he still mad me for it.and i said sorry and i didn,t mean to hurt his feelings.but i really didn,t .but i though he was making fun of me,i didn,t even know he liked me ...
A. 4 March 2009: Obviously - you cannot tar men with all the same brush!
- But I must admit, speaking from experience, the only two people I have ever fallen out with and who refuse to speak to me now are ... MEN!! - So yes I think men do hold grudges and some... (read in full...)
Unlike many girls who is crushing on their teachers, I am in my early twenties, what shall I do???
Q. Dear Cupid, This isn't the first time I mention about my obsessive crush on my teacher. Many of you have given me valuable advice, but I still feel powerless to stop myself from sinking into depression. It has been two years since my infatuat...
A. 17 February 2009: Hey - like you say it is normal (and quite harmless) to have a crush on your teacher! - Obviously, you have got it bad seeing you are looking him up on Facebook!
But considering you are in your 20s and are leaving university soon, why don't yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hardly kisses me and is always making excuses for it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a 1 year but we hardly kiss. The weird thing is that when we talk about the things we like doing with each other, he says that he loves kissing my lips because they are so soft. We can go for months without ...
A. 17 February 2009: My man is a bad kisser!! - He isn't reluctant to kiss me - but when he does he barely opens his mouth and I think his eyes are half open too!!
Anyway, I'm so in love with him, that I think a "bad" kiss is better than no kiss so I just accept h... (read in full...)
Why is it soooo hard for guys to express their feelings?
Q. Ok, so this V-Day started off great with my boyfriend! But ended in a disaster. :-( We've been dating for almost a month. We watched a live sports game. Afterwards, he had planned for us to go to a hotel, with jacuzzi, and have a little wine. I j...
A. 16 February 2009: Yes - I went out with a guy who was very moody (whenever I wouldn't give him sex) - but he would never talk about it!! - I think men must think we are mind readers!!... (read in full...)
Is it ok to give a valentine's card to my male teacher?
Q. Is it ok to give a valentine's card to my male teacher? I don't mean it romantically (the card says "You're a cool cat")... it's just that he's always been really nice to me so it's a thank-you. Is that weird at all? Could he take it the wrong way?...
A. 11 February 2009: Maybe - you could just give him the card but on a different day to Valentines Day - then it will seem harmless enough!... (read in full...)
Is "I'm falling for you" close to "I love you"?
Q. My bf said, "I think I'm falling for you." Is that getting close to saying 'I love you.'?? ...
A. 9 February 2009: Yes - near enough!
- Sometimes when I want to say to my man "I love you" but am too shy to say it - I tend to say "I've fallen for you" instead!... (read in full...)
Recently I've been finding it hard to sleep, any ideas?
Q. I am 20 years old and recently ive been finding it hard to "fall asleep" once I am asleep I am fine..I can sleep for 10 to 11 hours if I have to. its just falling asleep thats the problem. i toss and turn and stress out because I have to be up at 7a...
A. 2 February 2009: Unfortunately - you could be becoming an insomniac!
- I have suffered from insomnia for the last 10-15 years and it too started when I was about 20ish.
There are many tips that could help - but the quickest way is a short term sleeping pil... (read in full...)
He says the hugs he gives to other girls are just friendly hugs but I can't help being jealous.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year now but he is always hugging other girls at my school, and when I talk to him about it he say's they're just friendly hugs and don't mean anything, but I can't help feeling jealous? What should I do ?...
A. 1 February 2009: I think your intuitions are correct young lady - I knew a man who was very flirty at work and he used to hug various women - usually the good looking ones! - In the end he ended up having an affair with one of them!
See if your boyfriend hugs any... (read in full...)
Laws on teacher student relationships?
Q. hey :) I just popped on here to ask a simple and maybe somewhat controversial question but I shall discuss it whatever :) If you are 18 and want to pursue things with a teacher what EXACTLY are the laws on this? I understand people will tell me...
A. 1 February 2009: I am a teacher and know that any relationship taking place IN the institution can lead to a sacking ( or even prison if the student is under 16 for obvious reasons).
However, if the student is an adult, (18 or over) and both adult and teacher ... (read in full...)
Irish catholic?????
Q. This guy described himself once as "Irish catholic." obviously, this means he's Irish, but does it mean he's also of the catholic religion? Sorry, this is probably a stupid question....
A. 31 January 2009: Yes this means he is of Irish origin and was born a Catholic. It does not necessarily mean he is still a practising Catholic though (ie going to Church on Sundays and sticking to the commandments). - You would have to ask him to know for sure.... (read in full...)
Why have I never had a "normal" relationship?
Q. Why have I never had a "normal" relationship? In my life I have been involved seriously, with about 3 men - none of which I could class as having a serious normal relationship. The first guy I dated on and off for about 10 years but never let h...
A. 29 January 2009: Thanks - yes deep down I probably do fear commitment! - I also think I wasn't destined to be in a relationship - that is why I go for the unobtainable ones!... (read in full...)
What are the laws on student-teacher relationships?
Q. hey :) I just popped on here to ask a simple and maybe somewhat controversial question but I shall discuss it whatever :) If you are 18 and want to pursue things with a teacher what EXACTLY are the laws on this? I understand people will tell me...
A. 29 January 2009: Hi - I am a teacher and as far as I am aware - any student under the age of 18 ( and definitely one under the age of 16) is considered a child and is considered "out of bounds" for obvious reasons.
However, once an adult (over 18 years), I do not... (read in full...)
I am in love with him but he doesn't respond ..
Q. I was happily married for close to 10 years till I saw my dentist. I haven't been able to sleep or eat after I met him. The way he cupped my face to work on my tooth and his deep eyes - all is making me crazy. He is married and has kids. I know his ...
A. 27 January 2009: If he is not making any responses the chances are, unfortunately, that he may not be interested! Sometimes us mere mortals end up fantasising over professional people in charge of us like doctors, nurses, teachers and dentists too etc - but a ... (read in full...)
Do guys like petite girls?
Q. Do guys like petite girls? Do they think their smallness is cute and delicate? Or does it creep guys out (especially older guys) that they're small like children?...
A. 26 January 2009: I don't know about guys - but from a female point of view I am seeing a guy who is smaller than me - but as a rule I don't usually date small guys because of what you said - they DO look look like small children - especially if they are young! ... (read in full...)
9 months later, I still miss her horribly...
Q. I miss her so much !!! With 25 Jan it's gone be 9 months that we broke up. Omg its so hard to get over and i know that the life's goes on but after every day its get in worst. anyways i just need some advise from someone. I just still coul...
A. 22 January 2009: Heartache is a terrible thing - especially if you didn't meet face to face to discuss ending it!
9 months is a long time to be missing her - maybe try socialising a bit more or listening to some of your favourite music can take your mind off thin... (read in full...)
Sex as a weapon?
Q. Just to let the ladies know, this DOES NOT AMOUNT TO ANYTHING POSITIVE! Yes, women and men can enjoy sex just as much as the other, but men in general 'do' want it more than women and our feelings towards it are different. Men view sex as 'ess...
A. 17 January 2009: I think I read somewhere that:-
"women use sex to get love from a man" and
"men use love to get sex from a woman"
or words to that effect..!... (read in full...)
Girls Girls Girls please help
Q. Question to girls, do you find guys that wear tight pants attractive??? I'm not talking about the super emo tight pants but something that hugs the body at least??? And why do you find it attractive???...
A. 8 January 2009: I think if both men and women have good figures then they look GREAT in tight pants/trousers! - Very sexy!... (read in full...)
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