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Latest articles:

HOW YOU CAN FIND LOVE AGAIN

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1 June 2017: GET out there..It might be terrifying,but you need to broaden your social horizons.Go on line,join a club or go to a speed-dating night You will not find love in your living room.REVAMP your image;Ask a good friend to appraise your style.Do you need ...

CatFish, and tips to keep you safe

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10 May 2017: CatFish,has nothing to do with either Cats or Fish.As you will probably know ..CATFISH....is a person male/female who will put a fake profile on dating sites....and will contact many people or maybe just one and have a relationship be it ...

Nora B, Sharing thoughts on observations about life and struggle

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22 October 2016: In this day and age when trains stations are crammed with people,coming and going,roadways are congested with traffic. Meeting deadlines maybe at the cost of ones job. Emotions have taken a backseat,love and friendship are something to be ...

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Help for an "avoidant attachment style"

Q.   Dear Friends,Dear Community, I would like to have your advice today on a situation I am in. I am having feelings for a girl but the relationship is difficult because I have what is called an "avoidant attachment style". Which means I...

A.   7 June 2018: Well you have taken the first step in mailing here for help So would you consider...having a open chat with your girlfriend.....and explain the situation to her....that way she will know that you are not pushing her way and you both can come to a ... (read in full...)

We never go anywhere and my boyfriend even sleeps in the spare room.

Q.   Hi everyone I’m in a relationship now for 4 and a half years the problem is it’s so boring we never go anywhere together it’s the same routine everyday I try to get him to come places with me but he’s never interested we have only been out a handful ...

A.   4 June 2018: What a pure waste of 4.5 years....Dump him like now...and start living your life.Find some guy that is fully alive and appreciates and knows how to respect,love a girlfriend.In the meantime treat yourself to new hair style/make-up/buy some fashion ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my wife things are broken even though love is still there?

Q.   Hi everyone. I've come to you all for advice before and recieved a mixture of abuse, passive aggression and sexism. I ask you please to respond as if yuo are the shriks you claim to be! Me and my wife have been together 14 years. We have no kids ...

A.   3 June 2018: What Aunts and Uncles are offering on this site is a caring,coming from their life experience of the University of life[with respect to other Added degrees they may have].Taking the time to give the best advise/opinion they have on a particular ... (read in full...)

I think my boyfriend is stingy, what should I do?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for 8 months now and he doesn't get me anything, he doesn't buy me gifts, he doesn't give me money when am in need,and whenever I complain to him about it he always complain that he doesn't have money but yet he always ...

A.   1 June 2018: A relationship is a two way situation.Yes i understand you would be delighted if he gave you a small token of his love.The question now is...do you give him a little gift ?.Because it works both ways.However it is Most important that you......supply ... (read in full...)

I cant get the "cloud 9" feeling!

Q.   hello dear aunts! Don't want to go too long or detailed about this. I'm going to cut it short. I 'm seeing someone who is great. He is known to be an honest and decent guy. I've known him as a friend for a long time but we started seeing e...

A.   27 May 2018: I quiet understand how you feel,after such dreadful treatment from your ex-boyfriend....You have been badly wounded.....after those 5 years...and the wounds of hurt are still healing,and it it no wonder that you expect the same thing to happen ... (read in full...)

Please help me get me over my obsession with my ex

Q.   I dated a guy a few months ago and we mutually ended things because we wanted different things. Now I find we text quite a lot, he’s always giving out compliments, but I don’t know when he’ll reply etc. I know I’ve fallen in the trap of craving ...

A.   26 May 2018: They say in a relationship[even a short one] there is always one person more involved then the other.In this case it is you....Yes you have a hard choice to make..and Only you can Let go..of this obsessive loop...i understand it will be and is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has naked pictures on his phone, am I not pretty enough anymore?

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend about 5 yrs , and I recently he got cought having naked pictures on his phone , he was showing me a picture that he took and by accident ly I saw those , he said that his friend send those to him , so I said would u like ...

A.   26 May 2018: As we become older....i think women in general question are they still attractive....and the answer is a Positive Yes.I can understand why you could question this..after those photos on your boyfriends phone.However would you consider having a chat ... (read in full...)

I'm 25 my girlfriend is 67, its time we went public with the Age Gap.

Q.   This question is about being true to myself in front of my family and friends. I seem like a normal 25 year old guy. I graduated from college 3 years ago. I have a good job. I don't smoke. Don't drink. I go to church when I can. On occasion, I date ...

A.   20 March 2018: They do not say ....Love is blind and marraige is an Eye Opener for nothing . THINK .. .Your idea of an older woman is wonderful and romantic.But have you thought about ..having children...well in this situation this .is...a No ... (read in full...)

How can I help my sister who has spiralled into depression?

Q.   My sister had faced reality and spiraled into depression. I urged her to seek therapy (not just because of this last episode), but in the meantime she needs support. How can I help her more? Some time ago she had a month long fling with a guy...

A.   20 March 2018: First of all by being there for her is a great help...knowing she is not alone to deal with this hurt.When man/woman falls in love a this level....reason.. goes out the window....keep talking to her in a gentle way without to much pressure......it ... (read in full...)

I need advice on stepping back gently from a friend!

Q.   So i have a friend who ive known since i was 9 we are now 40. We do not live near each other about a 2 hour drive away. Its not that i do not want her in my life as she is a nice person and we are there for each other. She has lots of issues (...

A.   19 March 2018: As you stated...you need to stand back from your friend.I understand your situation and the history with your friend, so it is difficult for you.Yes you do need to step back from your friend....not alone for yourself...but also for your frie... (read in full...)

How do you kill all hope after a breakup?

Q.   My ex and I were together over a year,. And broke up 2 weeks ago. We spent 8 months face to face, and nearly a year apart. He told me the distance was a big factor, but that he also felt 'unsure' about our compatability and wanted to think. I told ...

A.   1 January 2018: For a long distance relationship to try and work,takes extra love and understanding on both sides.This is not the situation with you...You are the person that cares the most,and he is just talking about not being sure of his feelings for you and the ... (read in full...)

Parents can't believe I don't want children

Q.   Hello aunts I was at my family holiday dinner and I said that I don’t want to have kids to my family and they looked at me like a deer in the headlights. My parents are miserable (arranged marriage). I was born in a communist country but I came here ...

A.   27 December 2017: First of all let me say,that not everyone wants to get married and have children.There are many single men and single women..living quiet happy lives and do not feel the need to get married.So if this is your choice it is quiet Normal for you.Nobody ... (read in full...)

Does he want me?

Q.   Hi I am 29 yr old female in a relationship with a guy who is actually my junior and is 3 years younger than me. (Well he told me about his age once we get into relationship) I told him then to stop as I was always having this issue of age but he s...

A.   17 December 2017:  Love is difficult at the best of times,and there has to be give and take on both sides.However this relationship seems to have started on rocky ground and a lot of problems to deal with.The death of his mum would be a major sad issue in his life ... (read in full...)

Should I own up to my size?

Q.   I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...

A.   17 December 2017: A loving relationship is what is important here,the sharing and understanding of each other.Making love is not measured my the size of a man penis.As your only in the relationship a month,give it a little more time to develope and use your gut ... (read in full...)

My wife wants an open relationship, I don't

Q.   My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....

A.   17 December 2017: She may love you ...but she is not in-love with you.The relationship is over.Do not waste time on a person who Only loves herself.Move on..Move out,she is not worth another thought.Give yourself Time and Space to heal and start afresh.After all ... (read in full...)

He wanted to end "whatever this is" and be just friends but he's acting like a jerk now

Q.   Hi, i really need some advice About 2 years ago, I met this guy thru a my best friend. The 3 of us became best friends but he liked me and I never seen him like that. Until 8 months ago I saw him more of a friend. The first move was made by him,...

A.   16 December 2017: As you stated your boyfriend is acting like a Jerk.He is a user and has no real feeling for you...and would only use you for sex.So Block him at all levels and have nothing to do with him again.Remember you will be treated...the way you allow people ... (read in full...)

How can I start finding healthy men to date?

Q.   So I recently moved to Dallas from Houston after my partner and I of 7 years separated. I'm still in love with him. I feel that ever since I had to let him go he has done better for himself. I believe that I was enabling him in so many ways. I also ...

A.   1 December 2017: Wait and give yourself time to heal,as you stated you are still in love with your soon to be ex-husband.On this level you are not in any mind set to start another relationship.It is never wise to hook up on random date,and can prove to be just a one ... (read in full...)

He believes lies people say about me!

Q.   I've been with my bf for 6 months now , a few weeks in to our relationship we were having a nice day out when some girl accused me of being a prostitute and since then people have said horrible stuff about me when my bf has been with me and despite ...

A.   22 November 2017: In a relationship there must be trust on both sides,this is a very upsetting situation for you.However would you consider having a long calm chat with your boyfriend saying how untrue this is and that you are really hurt that he does not believe ... (read in full...)

Help me find my way out of these abusive traps

Q.   I am in a 16-year-relationship that became sexless and violent, abusive. I was thrown out the house in middle of night. I left and he wants me back. While away I met another man who I fell in love with and been seeing for a year this man seems quite ...

A.   16 November 2017: Your first relationship as you stated was violent and abusive.Why would you consider going back to this sort of a relationship.? Nobody has the right to be either abusive or violent to another person and when this happens there is no love there at ... (read in full...)

Do I fight to keep her or let her go?

Q.   So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...

A.   13 November 2017: Well with respect to you and your loving feeling towards your ex-girl friend ...its not a case of letting her go as she has broken up with you.She has given you a reason why she has called it of.Would you consider in giving her a little space to ... (read in full...)

How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?

Q.   So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...

A.   12 November 2017: As you did not have or feel the need to have a girlfriend since your college days or as you stated any adult relationship in your life.I am just wondering would you consider maybe going ahead with your special project that are important to ... (read in full...)

I'm torn between the re-appeared ghosting ex and the lovely but dependent new love interest! Which one do I choose?

Q.   I am going through a very tough situation and which is kind of a Love triangle. I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 1 year and I loved her so much . but 6 months back she ditched me for some reason. Everyday we used to go through a lot ...

A.   11 November 2017: There is always a reason why people break up.In your case your girlfriend left and had a relationship with someone else.On the other hand you also had a relationship with someone else.In a relationship there is always One person who loves more than ... (read in full...)

I feel always destined to be different, to be alone, and on the periphery.

Q.   Please can ask your thoughts on something aunts? I'm a lady in my mid 30s, professionally accomplished and financially independent. At work I'm well respected and I get on well with most people. In fact I get on well with lots of people outside...

A.   9 November 2017: Yes i am sure that other people both man and women would experience this situation,so your not on your own.However i know this does not it any easier to hear this..but you are not alone on this level.You have reached out right now by asking for ... (read in full...)

I've always been a people pleaser ... how can I stop?

Q.   I can’t stop worrying about what people will think of me - I have always been a people pleaser and have followed the “rules of life” to the T. I got two degreees and got a corporate jobs followe the path. Lately I have fallen in a financial hardship ...

A.   9 November 2017: Well done you doing working two jobs to sort out your money problems...if more people were like you then the world would be a happier place to live.I know its very difficult,when you are a worrying type to tell you to stop worrying...so on this ... (read in full...)

Pouting Boyfriend when sex takes a back seat

Q.   For 5 years, I've been with a man, 54yrs, who has treated me like a queen. Always very courteous, has all those "good ol' morals" of our generation. I don't think I would ever find another man like him and I'm not looking. Over these years....the ...

A.   6 November 2017: It seems like you are not on the same wavelenght at any level.So no wonder there is so much misunderstandings on both sides.So as you stated...He is not the One.Just move on ,make a fresh start with someone with whom you are on a wavelenght ... (read in full...)

Can our love be revived?

Q.   I'm a beautiful women and I (have) a sexless marriage. Supposedly my husband isn't cheating. What else can this be. There is no connection anymore. I want him to show me he wants me. We love each other, but our marriage doesn't feel strong. N...

A.   4 November 2017: They say...you are treated the way you allow people to treat you.In this case it is you husband who seems to be ill-treating you.Would you consider having a long indept chat with your husband,telling him how you feel and also asking him has he ... (read in full...)

Should I give it a week? Am I worrying too much for no good cause?

Q.   I started chatting with this guy online on Thursday. I messaged him first and thankfully the messages have not stopped since and he has been the one to initiate conversation since the first message. I hate over thinking these situations but I...

A.   1 November 2017: While dating sites are one way of making friends or dating,one must be aware that he maybe chatting up..other friends.So give it time,find out all you can about him after all you do not know the guy at all.IT would be wiser to let him ask you ... (read in full...)

I need to give my wife an ultimatum... Get a better job or lose me

Q.   my wife and i are in our mid 20's. we really want to get a house soon but i just dont think its in our budget at all. she has a 4yr degree at a top school and im a laborer. im making $25+/hr with no student loans and shes making $14/hr with $95,...

A.   31 October 2017: Hello O.P.a very kind thank you for your feed back it is much appreciate.How lovely to read of your deep love for your wife.Hopefully her best friend will give her that little push,but also thread with care on this.Right now she has a loving ... (read in full...)

I need to give my wife an ultimatum... Get a better job or lose me

Q.   my wife and i are in our mid 20's. we really want to get a house soon but i just dont think its in our budget at all. she has a 4yr degree at a top school and im a laborer. im making $25+/hr with no student loans and shes making $14/hr with $95,...

A.   30 October 2017: This seems a very stressful situation for you .Yes i see your point that she will not listen to you at all .Because you are thinking of giving her an ultimatum.maybe you might consider first getting some outside help..... a money advisor.a family ... (read in full...)

Why have I started despising my married lover?

Q.   Is it normal for the other woman to start hating or resenting the married man she's been seeing for a while? How does it go from him being able to do no wrong to thinking less of him over time? So, from love to hate? Seems like such a drop in her f...

A.   29 October 2017: There is a narrow borderline between love and hate.So when love cant grow between two people,as is always the case in dating a married man/woman.Yes this makes a lot of sense and who wants to be SECOND-BEST in a relationship.with neither respect or ... (read in full...)

Has my husband gone off me

Q.   Hello I have a problem with my husband never wanting sex anymore we have been together 6 years and married just over a year ago and now have two children together.in the beginning we were sex maniacs and he couldn't get enough of me now he never ...

A.   28 October 2017: This is a difficult situation for you to handle.As you stated with two close pregnancies,and all the work,and even getting used to both of your live changing with the care and cost of two almost babies.First of all is there anyone family/friend that ... (read in full...)

We exchanged numbers but now I'm turned off by him

Q.   I haven't been out in the dating world for a long time. Recently I have been chatting here and there with a guy doing construction at my place of work, seemed like a nice guy, cute, I felt comfortable talking with him. So he asked me for my phone...

A.   14 October 2017: No you are not old at all.This is a disgraceful question for any man to ask a woman.Be very thankful that he did not call.Would you consider joining some clubs i e. a writers group..or maybe you might be interested in study group just as a ... (read in full...)

Does this age gap between us matter?

Q.   I am 27years old and the love of my life d one I wanted to marry is 37years old by age.we both love each other so dearly and he is a man every woman would wanted as a husband because he has d attribute he is loving,caring,calm,hard work and lastly ...

A.   11 October 2017: You sound that you have met the love of your life.No he is Not too old for you.Have a wonderful life with him.In time your family will see how happy you both are,and all will be well.Only once in a lifetime does one experience what you are feeling ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but I feel jealous of the way he treated another woman he liked

Q.   My boyfriend lost his job last year and since I have been with him he has been trying to secure work. I'm not with him for money at all and love him for who he is. By his own admittance he had a good job and he liked a particular woman, she didn't ...

A.   3 October 2017: Thanks for your follow-up it was much appreciated.i understand why you are still feeling narked.Maybe if he started treating you as the Special woman in his life would be a help,and also giving you a gift as New and not being used...as in a second ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but I feel jealous of the way he treated another woman he liked

Q.   My boyfriend lost his job last year and since I have been with him he has been trying to secure work. I'm not with him for money at all and love him for who he is. By his own admittance he had a good job and he liked a particular woman, she didn't ...

A.   28 September 2017: Yes i can understand how you feel.Did you ever hear an old saying....Those who care Remember..well in your case your guy does not remember and is very very careless and taking you for granted..which is unkind and unfair.You are quiet right to ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wanted an open relationship but I can't cope with it.

Q.   I'm struggling with the pain and shock involved in starting an open relationship. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months. Recently we agreed to open the relationship and allow each other to have sex with other people. She's the one wh...

A.   18 September 2017: This is a very painful situation for you to be in,but the good news is you do not have to continue.First of all this girl does not love you or anyone or anybody....just what she wants.....sexual encounters with many men....just lust.You might ... (read in full...)

Should I stay .... or maybe I should go

Q.   Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...

A.   17 September 2017: Re your answers of the 16th.Just ask yourself what is there to love about a guy her treats you in such a disgraceful way.What more do you need.....he has stated pay half the bond to his mum.......OR MOVE OUT.......Ask yourself this question are you ... (read in full...)

Should I stay .... or maybe I should go

Q.   Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...

A.   16 September 2017: I think you have answered your own question.As you stated.Should i stay....Or Should go.Maybe you might consider ....going...and finding someone who appreciates you as a woman and not as a Loan Banker.In your mail there is no mention of ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my husband's business venture

Q.   My husband is starting up a business and is very excited. He dedicated his life to it and we seldom get quality time as a newly married couple. If he is busy with his own job, i can understand. I know certainly what his business is. But this mor...

A.   16 September 2017: This is a difficult situation for you to be in especially as you are not very long married.However i can understand how you are worried after finding out your husband is in debt.First of all there is no point in your husband telling you not to worry ... (read in full...)

What's the future for me as the other woman?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who I love and he loves me. We are very happy however I am "the other woman", even though our relationship is serious and we've been together for like 3 years, because he's cheated on his current/previous ...

A.   3 September 2017: Just ask yourself the question...How could you be in a relationship with this guy...WHEN...you are The Other woman.If you think you are...you must be dreaming.Yes he will cheat on you ...because that is just what he is good at....you are not the ... (read in full...)

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