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1 June 2017: GET out there..It might be terrifying,but you need to broaden your social horizons.Go on line,join a club or go to a speed-dating night You will not find love in your living room.REVAMP your image;Ask a good friend to appraise your style.Do you need ...

CatFish, and tips to keep you safe

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10 May 2017: CatFish,has nothing to do with either Cats or Fish.As you will probably know a person male/female who will put a fake profile on dating sites....and will contact many people or maybe just one and have a relationship be it ...

Nora B, Sharing thoughts on observations about life and struggle

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22 October 2016: In this day and age when trains stations are crammed with people,coming and going,roadways are congested with traffic. Meeting deadlines maybe at the cost of ones job. Emotions have taken a backseat,love and friendship are something to be ...

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What does my partner's comment mean?

Q.   My partner has told me that he has never been into one night stands and always has relationships with a view to taking them seriously. He has also told me he has never really loved anyone and I'm the love of his life. I told him last night by te...

A.   23 November 2017: In life one will meet...THE ONE SPECIAL LOVE.With regards to your partner...You are the One for him.He may have had different relationships in the past,but he feelings for those relationship were not as strong as his feelings for you.He is a serious ... (read in full...)

He believes lies people say about me!

Q.   I've been with my bf for 6 months now , a few weeks in to our relationship we were having a nice day out when some girl accused me of being a prostitute and since then people have said horrible stuff about me when my bf has been with me and despite ...

A.   22 November 2017: In a relationship there must be trust on both sides,this is a very upsetting situation for you.However would you consider having a long calm chat with your boyfriend saying how untrue this is and that you are really hurt that he does not believe ... (read in full...)

Help me find my way out of these abusive traps

Q.   I am in a 16-year-relationship that became sexless and violent, abusive. I was thrown out the house in middle of night. I left and he wants me back. While away I met another man who I fell in love with and been seeing for a year this man seems quite ...

A.   16 November 2017: Your first relationship as you stated was violent and abusive.Why would you consider going back to this sort of a relationship.? Nobody has the right to be either abusive or violent to another person and when this happens there is no love there at ... (read in full...)

Do I fight to keep her or let her go?

Q.   So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...

A.   13 November 2017: Well with respect to you and your loving feeling towards your ex-girl friend ...its not a case of letting her go as she has broken up with you.She has given you a reason why she has called it of.Would you consider in giving her a little space to ... (read in full...)

How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?

Q.   So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...

A.   12 November 2017: As you did not have or feel the need to have a girlfriend since your college days or as you stated any adult relationship in your life.I am just wondering would you consider maybe going ahead with your special project that are important to ... (read in full...)

I'm torn between the re-appeared ghosting ex and the lovely but dependent new love interest! Which one do I choose?

Q.   I am going through a very tough situation and which is kind of a Love triangle. I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 1 year and I loved her so much . but 6 months back she ditched me for some reason. Everyday we used to go through a lot ...

A.   11 November 2017: There is always a reason why people break up.In your case your girlfriend left and had a relationship with someone else.On the other hand you also had a relationship with someone else.In a relationship there is always One person who loves more than ... (read in full...)

I feel always destined to be different, to be alone, and on the periphery.

Q.   Please can ask your thoughts on something aunts? I'm a lady in my mid 30s, professionally accomplished and financially independent. At work I'm well respected and I get on well with most people. In fact I get on well with lots of people outside...

A.   9 November 2017: Yes i am sure that other people both man and women would experience this situation,so your not on your own.However i know this does not it any easier to hear this..but you are not alone on this level.You have reached out right now by asking for ... (read in full...)

I've always been a people pleaser ... how can I stop?

Q.   I can’t stop worrying about what people will think of me - I have always been a people pleaser and have followed the “rules of life” to the T. I got two degreees and got a corporate jobs followe the path. Lately I have fallen in a financial hardship ...

A.   9 November 2017: Well done you doing working two jobs to sort out your money problems...if more people were like you then the world would be a happier place to live.I know its very difficult,when you are a worrying type to tell you to stop on this ... (read in full...)

Pouting Boyfriend when sex takes a back seat

Q.   For 5 years, I've been with a man, 54yrs, who has treated me like a queen. Always very courteous, has all those "good ol' morals" of our generation. I don't think I would ever find another man like him and I'm not looking. Over these years....the ...

A.   6 November 2017: It seems like you are not on the same wavelenght at any level.So no wonder there is so much misunderstandings on both sides.So as you stated...He is not the One.Just move on ,make a fresh start with someone with whom you are on a wavelenght ... (read in full...)

Can our love be revived?

Q.   I'm a beautiful women and I (have) a sexless marriage. Supposedly my husband isn't cheating. What else can this be. There is no connection anymore. I want him to show me he wants me. We love each other, but our marriage doesn't feel strong. N...

A.   4 November 2017: They are treated the way you allow people to treat you.In this case it is you husband who seems to be ill-treating you.Would you consider having a long indept chat with your husband,telling him how you feel and also asking him has he ... (read in full...)

Should I give it a week? Am I worrying too much for no good cause?

Q.   I started chatting with this guy online on Thursday. I messaged him first and thankfully the messages have not stopped since and he has been the one to initiate conversation since the first message. I hate over thinking these situations but I...

A.   1 November 2017: While dating sites are one way of making friends or dating,one must be aware that he maybe chatting up..other friends.So give it time,find out all you can about him after all you do not know the guy at all.IT would be wiser to let him ask you ... (read in full...)

I need to give my wife an ultimatum... Get a better job or lose me

Q.   my wife and i are in our mid 20's. we really want to get a house soon but i just dont think its in our budget at all. she has a 4yr degree at a top school and im a laborer. im making $25+/hr with no student loans and shes making $14/hr with $95,...

A.   31 October 2017: Hello O.P.a very kind thank you for your feed back it is much appreciate.How lovely to read of your deep love for your wife.Hopefully her best friend will give her that little push,but also thread with care on this.Right now she has a loving ... (read in full...)

I need to give my wife an ultimatum... Get a better job or lose me

Q.   my wife and i are in our mid 20's. we really want to get a house soon but i just dont think its in our budget at all. she has a 4yr degree at a top school and im a laborer. im making $25+/hr with no student loans and shes making $14/hr with $95,...

A.   30 October 2017: This seems a very stressful situation for you .Yes i see your point that she will not listen to you at all .Because you are thinking of giving her an ultimatum.maybe you might consider first getting some outside help..... a money advisor.a family ... (read in full...)

Why have I started despising my married lover?

Q.   Is it normal for the other woman to start hating or resenting the married man she's been seeing for a while? How does it go from him being able to do no wrong to thinking less of him over time? So, from love to hate? Seems like such a drop in her f...

A.   29 October 2017: There is a narrow borderline between love and hate.So when love cant grow between two people,as is always the case in dating a married man/woman.Yes this makes a lot of sense and who wants to be SECOND-BEST in a relationship.with neither respect or ... (read in full...)

Has my husband gone off me

Q.   Hello I have a problem with my husband never wanting sex anymore we have been together 6 years and married just over a year ago and now have two children the beginning we were sex maniacs and he couldn't get enough of me now he never ...

A.   28 October 2017: This is a difficult situation for you to handle.As you stated with two close pregnancies,and all the work,and even getting used to both of your live changing with the care and cost of two almost babies.First of all is there anyone family/friend that ... (read in full...)

We exchanged numbers but now I'm turned off by him

Q.   I haven't been out in the dating world for a long time. Recently I have been chatting here and there with a guy doing construction at my place of work, seemed like a nice guy, cute, I felt comfortable talking with him. So he asked me for my phone...

A.   14 October 2017: No you are not old at all.This is a disgraceful question for any man to ask a woman.Be very thankful that he did not call.Would you consider joining some clubs i e. a writers group..or maybe you might be interested in study group just as a ... (read in full...)

Does this age gap between us matter?

Q.   I am 27years old and the love of my life d one I wanted to marry is 37years old by age.we both love each other so dearly and he is a man every woman would wanted as a husband because he has d attribute he is loving,caring,calm,hard work and lastly ...

A.   11 October 2017: You sound that you have met the love of your life.No he is Not too old for you.Have a wonderful life with him.In time your family will see how happy you both are,and all will be well.Only once in a lifetime does one experience what you are feeling ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but I feel jealous of the way he treated another woman he liked

Q.   My boyfriend lost his job last year and since I have been with him he has been trying to secure work. I'm not with him for money at all and love him for who he is. By his own admittance he had a good job and he liked a particular woman, she didn't ...

A.   3 October 2017: Thanks for your follow-up it was much appreciated.i understand why you are still feeling narked.Maybe if he started treating you as the Special woman in his life would be a help,and also giving you a gift as New and not being in a second ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but I feel jealous of the way he treated another woman he liked

Q.   My boyfriend lost his job last year and since I have been with him he has been trying to secure work. I'm not with him for money at all and love him for who he is. By his own admittance he had a good job and he liked a particular woman, she didn't ...

A.   28 September 2017: Yes i can understand how you feel.Did you ever hear an old saying....Those who care Remember..well in your case your guy does not remember and is very very careless and taking you for granted..which is unkind and unfair.You are quiet right to ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wanted an open relationship but I can't cope with it.

Q.   I'm struggling with the pain and shock involved in starting an open relationship. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months. Recently we agreed to open the relationship and allow each other to have sex with other people. She's the one wh...

A.   18 September 2017: This is a very painful situation for you to be in,but the good news is you do not have to continue.First of all this girl does not love you or anyone or anybody....just what she wants.....sexual encounters with many men....just lust.You might ... (read in full...)

Should I stay .... or maybe I should go

Q.   Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...

A.   17 September 2017: Re your answers of the 16th.Just ask yourself what is there to love about a guy her treats you in such a disgraceful way.What more do you need.....he has stated pay half the bond to his mum.......OR MOVE OUT.......Ask yourself this question are you ... (read in full...)

Should I stay .... or maybe I should go

Q.   Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...

A.   16 September 2017: I think you have answered your own question.As you stated.Should i stay....Or Should go.Maybe you might consider ....going...and finding someone who appreciates you as a woman and not as a Loan Banker.In your mail there is no mention of ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my husband's business venture

Q.   My husband is starting up a business and is very excited. He dedicated his life to it and we seldom get quality time as a newly married couple. If he is busy with his own job, i can understand. I know certainly what his business is. But this mor...

A.   16 September 2017: This is a difficult situation for you to be in especially as you are not very long married.However i can understand how you are worried after finding out your husband is in debt.First of all there is no point in your husband telling you not to worry ... (read in full...)

What's the future for me as the other woman?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who I love and he loves me. We are very happy however I am "the other woman", even though our relationship is serious and we've been together for like 3 years, because he's cheated on his current/previous ...

A.   3 September 2017: Just ask yourself the question...How could you be in a relationship with this are The Other woman.If you think you must be dreaming.Yes he will cheat on you ...because that is just what he is good are not the ... (read in full...)

My wife doesn't want sex as often as I do

Q.   What do i do? I am a married man in my late fifties, who has a very healthy normal sex wife, who i love, is healthy and the same age as me can go more a week without showing ANY inte...

A.   2 September 2017: You are a very lucky man to be so healthy,and have a healthy wife.The answer is NO...all women do not lose interest in sex once they hit a certain age.However some people have a higher sex drive than others,so that is just the way they are .Would ... (read in full...)

Is this woman's behaviour a red flag?

Q.   Well been seeing this woman for about seven months,been staying at her house the whole time, I do own my own house, my daughter and granddaughter live there, my house, I don't know what to do we get along good most of the time, but she snaps at...

A.   2 September 2017: Well you sound a reasonable man, and the way she is snapping at you is uncalled for .Her disregard for you and your 2 year old granddaughter re- smoking in the car is a disgrace.However would you consider having an indept chat with her on the ... (read in full...)

Why does my married lover not admit how he feels about me? And keeps changing his words?

Q.   Can anyone here help me to make sense of my married lover's words? Why did he tell me he loves me? Then the next time he says he likes me. Then he says he likes me a lot. Then the next time he says he adores me. And the next time after that, it's...

A.   31 August 2017: He is a cheater,user, using you as a sex object not for love but just for Lust.He will continue like this after he has replaced you not once but many times.My concern is not about him....we know what he is playing at .I am more concerned about You.I ... (read in full...)

Is it ever ok for your boyfriend to insinuate that you're fat? Feeling hurt and ashamed, how do I react?

Q.   Hey guys :-) I was just hoping for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I think of myself as a really good girlfriend to him. When we first got together we were both in very good shape. However over the years we've both put w...

A.   27 August 2017: This is a very hurtful situation for you to be in,and most unfair of your boyfriend.Just because he has lost some weight does not give him the right [1] To hurt you about your weight..if you are healthy and fit and happy the way you are that is your ... (read in full...)

I feel directionless, as if my life is the same thing, over and over.

Q.   This is sort of relationship question. Relationship with oneself. I feel stupid for feeling so low and for needing advice on how to find happiness after 40. I just never thought I'd feel this bad. Age and looks were never the problem for me. I...

A.   22 August 2017: I read your very interesting mail,and i know where you are coming from re your many self questions and i am also smiling..Because in writing this can be for you the first step to a understanding of the new you...Man a being in search of ... (read in full...)

I'm ready to leave, but how do I take my dignity with me?

Q.   Ive been seeing a 34 year old guy for two full months now. He treats me well, takes me out to nice places well until i saw him texting other girls on social me. I caught him once flirting with girls the one time we went shopping together. I told him ...

A.   22 August 2017: It seems for your mail this guy is not ready to settle down and be happy with one girl...or maybe this is just the type he is.Either way it is not good for you.Words used in your mail like...hate..flirting..leave.....these words speak as you feel.By ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is asking for more than I can afford.

Q.   Dear Aunts, I have been visiting my boyfriend for a week now so today im leaving ive decided to take him out for lunch. He just told me that it would be better if i buy him grocery. Im a student I don't have that kind of money. All i wanted was to ...

A.   22 August 2017: As a thank you to your boyfriend ..the lunch you offered for cooking for you when you were visiting him...was very kind on your more is needed.His request for groceries ...was OUTRAGEES ON HIS PART.Just say can do as i am ... (read in full...)

My ex wants to chat again. Is he just trying to keep all of his options open?

Q.   I was seeing this guy three years ago and the relationship was very rocky. Eventually we split, he met someone else but we stayed in contact. We spoke last month and admitted there was still something between us. He says his relationship is ending ...

A.   21 August 2017: This guy does not know if he is coming or going and seems to suit himself no matter who will be hurt.If he had real feelings for you he would not have gone into another relationship...which is not working out.He has the cheek to ask you to wait ... (read in full...)

My very best friend is cheating on her partner! Do I tell him?

Q.   Please help. She is my very bestfriend for 17 Years. WE See really good with each other. I care for her. I know her very much and everything what she do is open to me. Thats how she trust me. My Problem is, i visited Her 2 months ago. Thats ...

A.   20 August 2017: I would 2nd the advise that WiseOwlE has given you.However i would say that you are Her friend and she trusts you.While the whole situation is sad from an outsiders view[which is you]no one knows what the man in questions knows.So it is not really ... (read in full...)

How do I talk to him aboug where we stand?

Q.   I've been dating a lovely man for 23 months and no sex. He says he has libido problems but does nothing about it. We have good times when we are together and he phones me every night to discuss his work. I know that I'm more attracted to him, ...

A.   17 August 2017: One can love at any age.and no mater what age we are we need love and know that we are loved in return.However your friend seems to be happy just to be friends and maybe has no desire for anything else with you or with anyone else.As you stated you ... (read in full...)

Married but falling for someone across the world

Q.   I'm married with 3 children. A few weeks ago, I met a wonderful man in a pub in Edinburgh. He's Australian and was on a cricket tour. We instantly connected and got on do well I found myself being attracted to him. We shared a kiss at the end of the ...

A.   16 August 2017: Did you often hear the old saying...Hills are greener far away but as you and i know that is not the case.So STOP right now and think of your husband and children their love for you and yours for them.This is new its fun,its different..but remember ... (read in full...)

How do I curb his frantic sex?

Q.   I currently started dating this new guy and everything is going great only problem is that he is insatiable. We have only been on two dates and we have spent both nights together however the first night we just made out and I spent the night th...

A.   16 August 2017: I think you have already answered your question..when you stated cannot handle it.This man seems to have a very high sex drive as some people do.However the choice is yours [1] Have an indept with him on this level and tell him how you ... (read in full...)

Things were perfect then he began to change. Should I break up with him?

Q.   My relationship was perfect with my boyfriend.and then things began to change..he doesnt go down on me when we have sex and making excuses saying the odour coming from my vagina smells terible when we have sex and thats the reason he cant.and ...

A.   12 August 2017: This situation is very sad and hurtful for you,and anyone,that would hurt you like that is not worth being with.The thing is he really has a problem with himself and does not seem very happy.It would be nice if were to meet someone who would ... (read in full...)

Why wasn't the fact that he was married and a baby on the way enough to stop him from cheating?

Q.   I just found out that my husband cheated on me. Him and I are "newlyweds" we married in may 2017 and his affair happened from February to early May 2017. He is in the army and he used to be based only 3 hours away from our hometown. He would visit ...

A.   31 July 2017: This is a very sad situation for you,and i would understand that you are feeling down and unhappy and the fact that you are expecting a baby.Now first and foremost no way are you to blame for any of this.This was his wrong behaviour and will also ... (read in full...)

Some advice please on my first date

Q.   I'm going on a first date soon with a boy I really like. We went to elementary school together and recently reconnected on a dating app. I haven't ever been in a long-term relationship, and all the dates I've gone on in the past few years were ...

A.   27 July 2017: How lovely for you on your first date,there is no need at all to be concerned.Wear something pretty and just be yourself and chat away and ask questions.If the truth be known your guy is a little anxious to make a good impression on you. remember it ... (read in full...)

He blows hot and cold. Should I tell him I like him?

Q.   I really want to tell this guy how he makes me feel but I'm scared I'll scare him off because he is sometimes hot and cold with me... When we talk we connect although he asks me things about myself, when I ask him he doesn't reply, he continuous...

A.   27 July 2017: Might not be a good idea,he might feel pressure and as you stated might scare him off.However 3 ways of looking at this are.[1] Maybe he does not know yet how he feels about you.[2]Perhaps he just wants a friend.[3]Maybe he is trying to decide is it ... (read in full...)

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