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*evont agony aunt


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1234Next > [4 pages, 118 answers]

Is serial grumpiness a warning sign or just a stress reliever?

Q.   This is probably going to be a long one. Past: Was with my teenage sweetheart. Dated at 15, engaged at 20, moved abroad for originally 2 years...he failed at his exams and so i said i'd stay 1 more year since he had to study alot and he was ok wi...

A.   16 May 2018: I think you want to end it, or else you wouldn't be here. He clearly isn't right for you and he shouldn't take his pain or stress or anything out on you. You've got a lot going for you - well educated, good job, probably lots more, kick this one... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to stop paying for porn before we move in together.

Q.   I'm not sure if I am being extremely jealous or whether I am right to feel this way.. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are even looking at apartments together however there are a few things that really bother me. First of all ...

A.   11 April 2018: He's not going to stop. His behaviour isn't normal for someone in a monogamous relationship and you're not being controlling. Asking him to stop is completely reasonable but he is not going to, otherwise he would have already. Unfortun... (read in full...)

She's boring and bland and I need to cut her loose but how do I let her down without hurting her feelings?

Q.   Hello everyone, I've recently been speaking to a girl that I got speaking to through social media. I just randomly messaged her one day and things took off and we've now been speaking for roughly two months. We went on a date after about 10 d...

A.   20 August 2017: I think ending it is the right thing to do. If there's no spark then there's no spark, move on and don't drag it out. Two months IS a fair chance, it's not like you went on one date and then kicked her out of bed with no taxi fare. End it now before ... (read in full...)

He says the sex is better with me but he still keeps his girlfriend. Do I wait around or end things?

Q.   Back in January I met this guy on Tinder. We started off talking every single day just clicking really well and having great conversations. After we met one or two times we had a conversation and he said that he wasn't looking for a relationship and ...

A.   20 August 2017: I agree with the sentiment of the other posts. He doesn't want a relationship from you, he wants sex. He's also definitely, categorically, not your friend. If there was any chance of a you being together, he would be dating you and he never... (read in full...)

I've been snooping and finding messages my boyfriend has sent to people on Craigslist

Q.   Hi everyone My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years dating for 3. This summer we moved to a new town for his work. He really hated the job but had to do it to move up. One week, our sex life was amazing, he was tired but came h...

A.   20 August 2017: Whether he gets a job or not, it is likely he will continue to seek other women on craigslist. I think he's checked out of the relationship. He won't end it because he's comfortable - he can do what he wants with virtually no consequence other th... (read in full...)

Why is this former FWB guy contacting me?

Q.   Why would a guy clearly delete my number and then pop up asking for it again? Hi, so I'm currently 18 and last year me and my guyfriend of nearly two years had sex. He took my virginity and we had sex a few times but as friends. I know, I should'v...

A.   11 August 2017: Firstly, I think losing your virginity with a friend is one of the best ways to lose your virginity. Don't be so hard on yourself about that. Secondly... he wants more sex. That's why he's in touch. ... (read in full...)

When its good its great but right now its bad.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend now for roughly four months. It's long distance so things have gotten intense pretty quickly! We were planning to move in together but I felt it was too soon so I told him how I felt. Since then things have not been ...

A.   10 August 2017: Four months into a relationship is still the honeymoon period in my books and if things aren't great now, they aren't going to get better. Saying something mean and then trying to backtrack by saying it was a joke is unacceptable behaviou... (read in full...)

What to do with my cheating friend?

Q.   One of my girlfriends whom I have been friend for a year has had the tendency to sleep with men that are taken or take men from our circle - example one of our other gfs liked this guy at the bar and started talking to him- apparently he also liked ...

A.   10 August 2017: I don't think you'd be able to stop her, but talk to her if you want to. I too have a friend who goes after men in relationships and the reason is because it makes her feel safe. If they reject her, it doesn't matter, because OF COURSE they wer... (read in full...)

Married co-worker I'm having an affair with is now ignoring me

Q.   Im a married woman who has been having a fling if you call it that with a married co-worker. Now that weve slept together hes been ignoring my texts yet still speaks to me in work like nothing has happened.( a week ago) Im so confused by this. Im ...

A.   10 August 2017: Stop texting him and don't text him back if he contacts you. He's keeping his distance because he doesn't want a full blown, long term affair, he just wants sex every now and again. He does not want anything from you other than sex, so he is purpo... (read in full...)

My LDR girlfriend gets obsessive when I am with my family or friends

Q.   So long story short ive been in this relationship and it started off perfectly fine until she got obsessively clingy. Everytime i go out with my parents/friends/family and I'm too busy to respond (I should include this is a long distance ...

A.   2 July 2017: There is a hard truth you must face: this is an emotionally abusive relationship. Someone threatening to kill themselves to try and get their way is emotional blackmail and isn't acceptable behaviour. Have you talked to her about this? Have you... (read in full...)

I don't want my g/f to go to the same college as me. It will ruin me making new friends and having my independence

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years of my life. This september I hope to go to university to study law. My girlfriend wasn't planning to go to university until 2 days ago when she moaned at me for not wanting to be with her through university ...

A.   16 June 2017: Do you want to end the relationship all together? If yes, just be honest with her and end it. If no, still be honest, but be careful with you words. Be firm and say what you've said to us that you want to grow and be your own person, and there is... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wanted to use an old tube of lubricant during sex but I got upset because he's used it with previous partners. Am I being silly?

Q.   Hi Everyone, So I have a bit of an awkward question, but genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting and too embarrassed too ask friends/family. So my boyfriend of 1 year has had a tube of lubricant in his drawer for a while, I noticed it a whil...

A.   16 June 2017: It's hard to think about your partner with someone else (unless that is your thing!), and the lube made you think of him with other people. Perfectly reasonable to be a bit upset by it. Pop it in the bin and get some more. I don't think you have... (read in full...)

Why do men act the way they do ? Not replying? Changing plans at last minute?

Q.   Im hoping a few men will reply to this. I want to know why men do and say things the way they do . If a woman asks a basic question like how you doing fancy meeting up next week ? and the man has seen the message but doesnt reply and its been 5 d...

A.   26 July 2016: Definitely agree with the other responses. Why do men act like that? Because they're just not that into you. It is fairly easy to ignore someone via text rather than outright say "I'm not into you and don't want to meet up with you". To ma... (read in full...)

Will I come to regret my contented life?

Q.   Dear Aunts, I would like to know if my current situation is normal. A few years back I was in love and I had decided to marry her, but I couldn't go through with it since her parents were opposed to it (We were of different religions). I...

A.   8 July 2016: If you are happy right now, stay as you are. You might find that in a few years you are motivated to go to university and/or change career - then it will be easier and much better than if you force yourself to do it now. Or, you might find tha... (read in full...)

I felt we were connection but she has gone quiet.

Q.   Hey guys! I've been dating a girl for 2 weeks or so now and been on about 6 dates with her, we are meant to be going out tomorrow. She's gone abit quiet- less messages/ calls, I really do like her and feel like we are already connecting. I'm ...

A.   26 June 2016: You already know where you stand, she likes you enough to have seen you six times in 14 days and has answered all your texts and calls. If you don't want to come across as heavy, don't ask her. If she's happy with how its going she will continue... (read in full...)

Has he agreed to see where things lead?

Q.   I had been seeing a separated man for 2 months. He has been separated for 18 months. He has been very open and honest with me about his difficult divorce he is in the process of. From the start he told me he wasn't sure how much he had to give ...

A.   26 June 2016: I agree with everyone else. He does not want a relationship with you and has explicitly told you this. He has agreed to keep seeing you because he's attracted to you and likes having sex available with virtually no obligation towards you. Only ... (read in full...)

I'm not crazy .... am I?

Q.   Hey everyone, I will keep this short and sweet (I am looking for a volume of answers to gauge what is deemed as acceptable by all) About six weeks ago I started chatting to a girl on Tinder, lovely bloody thing she is... We live 350kms apart, sh...

A.   26 June 2016: The main issue for me here is that she hasn't met the other man before. If they were long standing friends that met up regularly and they were going to share a TWIN room, I could probably accept it. But to meet someone for the first time and plan to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!

Q.   I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...

A.   24 June 2016: I'm no expert on fat fetishes, but from what I understand, one of the main parts of it is enjoying the actual process of weight gain and watching someone overeat, not just being attracted to people that are fat. My point is, you could put on 300lb ... (read in full...)

My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!

Q.   At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...

A.   7 May 2016: Wow. I think he is definitely in the wrong here. I could maybe understand if it was his grandmother's ring and that's why he wanted you to have it, but it wasn't. It is not just a second hand ring, it is a ring he chose for another woman that she ... (read in full...)

I'm so overwhelmed by how I feel about him that I feel I'd ignore any red flags

Q.   I met what I believe is the one online a month ago. I know realistically it’s too soon to confirm what anything is but, what I feel overwhelms me so much so that I don’t want to mess it up. My dating history is that I’ve been single for 6 years ...

A.   10 January 2016: Wheeler has given excellent advice and I agree with everything he has written. I think that this is very early days though, two dates, despite talking on the phone, is really soon to be thinking like this. Try not to worry so much, this early... (read in full...)

Is he with me or his family? I can't decide.

Q.   I know a lot of people are going to probably tell me to leave this guy, but really I'm just wondering if there is any way that a break up could be avoidable. Even if a break up is the best thing, I'm more curious to see what the running up options ...

A.   5 January 2016: If you want to stay with him, you need to accept that his ex is going to be in his AND your lives forever. He has children with her and as a result, while annoying, if he wants to be in touch with her/them 4-5 times a day then you just have to ... (read in full...)

I want a child but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I tell him I'm going off contraception?

Q.   So I've been with my partner for 3 years . I have had the implant in my arm for nearly 6 years . It's only meant to last 3 years ? Is there a specific time limit for this contraception? Me and my partner don't use any other form of protecti...

A.   3 December 2015: This post made my eyes water. You have to tell him. If you are mature enough to have a child, you are mature enough to discuss it with your boyfriend. I am really struggling with why you would even consider this. Good luck to you and to him. ... (read in full...)

Should I insist on her leaving her husband before I move to Germany to be closer to her?

Q.   I have met a German married woman. I am in UK, 57 divorced. She is 44 with 3 children. We met at a party in Germany and she told me her husband no longer has sex with her since 6 years. We talked all night. The past 4 months we talk every day on...

A.   29 November 2015: In a word, yes. It is not fair on you (or her husband or children) if you move to Germany to be with her when she isn't available. Until both her and her husband accept that the relationship is over and either make moves to divorce or live ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has been trying to meet up with another woman

Q.   So, I've been in a relationship with someone for about a year and a half mostly online. Up until recently it has been completely virtual. I went to visit him in the summer and we hit it off eventhough he was a bit....forward. Recently (Septemb...

A.   27 November 2015: Please don't be afraid of ending it with him. Be more afraid of what your life will be like if you stay - the relationship is only going to get worse. The longer you stay, the lower your self esteem will get. He might have a rough life, but as l... (read in full...)

Tips/Advice on moving in with your significant other?

Q.   Any tips you guys can give me about moving in with your significant other? I am going to be moving relatively soon with my bf, and I never have done that before. He has in the past when he was younger. He is 26 and I'm 22. But he told me it wa...

A.   25 November 2015: Firstly, congratulations! My main advice is to talk about bills and how you will split them. When I lived with my ex, paying bills was a big problem in our relationship. When we first moved in together, we were both students so we didn't discus... (read in full...)

I can look past the religious stuff to give it a shot with him, what do I do?

Q.   We got coffee, the next day he said we couldn't be more than friends cause I'm not is religion. We kept hanging out as friends, but he kept flirting and taking me out. Then he came over one night, we watched tv and talked a bunch, eventually he ...

A.   9 November 2015: You might be able to get past the religious stuff, but HE can't. Respect that and move on, and don't put pressure on him to compromise his religion. If he does decided to date you, you would be second to his religion, and that means that he'd pro... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to have deal breakers in relationships?

Q.   My Boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Recently we talked about deal breakers. Both of us agreed cheating is a deal breaker. Then I told him if he ever took drugs at a party it'd be a deal breaker for me. I did not know he used to do ...

A.   9 November 2015: Personally, I don't quite understand your boyfriends point of view. Mostly, because I believe that the only love that is unconditional is the love between family, between a parent and child, brother and sister. Otherwise, love IS conditional. It's ... (read in full...)

In dating, I don't want to be wasting my time if he's not interested! Any suggestions?

Q.   Hi Advice please- I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now and he used to reply straight away and now he waits days and says sorry he's been really busy. I really like him, I assume he likes me and wants to carry on seeing each other, b...

A.   9 November 2015: I would suggest asking him to meet you again, you should be able to judge how into you is in person. If he wants to carry on seeing you he'll be keen to meet up. He might genuinely be busy right now. However, I would say that not replying... (read in full...)

Am I doing the right thing by moving to live with him in his home?

Q.   Dear cupid, I'm 33, boyfriend is 30 and I have been in a long distance relationship for the last 6 months. We spend the weekends together. The travel has become quite difficult and we would like to move the relationship forward and test we work...

A.   30 September 2015: It all sounds good to me! You would move in together at one stage or another in the relationship, and it sounds like you've thought this through. The only risk is finding another job. Personally, I think 6 months is too soon to move in together... (read in full...)

Can we make this work? Is it a healthy or a toxic relationship?

Q.   This relationship has me so confused that I can no longer think straight as the reality of what’s going on. I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago on an online dating website. We are both in our mid 20’s. We met each other after a week and he moved in ...

A.   30 September 2015: You need to end it, but I think you already know that. You're finding it hard to let go, because you love, or loved him. If you decide to stay... He won't change. There is nothing you can do to change him. If he was going to change, he would... (read in full...)

How should I tell my new boyfriend about my breast deformity?

Q.   This is very embarrassing, but I have tuberous breast deformity. It means my breast don't look normal and did not develop properly. My case is severe. You can research it if you are unsure of the condition. My breast are very small and odd tr...

A.   9 September 2015: My girlfriend also has tuberous breasts. I didn't know there was anything 'wrong' until she told me, I just thought they were an unusual shape. I wouldn't go as far as to call them deformed, they are just different. And I adore them regardless! ... (read in full...)

We're not teens. So is not getting 'butterflies' in a relationship a reliable indicator that our relationship will not ''work'', as he seemed to claim?

Q.   I'm not sure how to word this. Almost seven months ago I was with a guy and everything was good, texted all the time, he remembered things I said (so I knew he was actually paying attention) he would be open and share things that I knew were pri...

A.   6 September 2015: I would respect his decision. Five years ago, I would have put getting butterflies about a low down as you could get on a list of things I wanted from a relationship. Then I met a girl who gave me butterflies and I realised what had been missing ... (read in full...)

What message should I send with a bouquet of flowers?

Q.   There's a girl that lives in my village that I like, she's been kind of seeing a player, from what I've heard on the grapevine, he's unreliable and just likes to party. anyway, I'm a pretty romantic kind of a guy, that's just how I am, and I'm ...

A.   6 September 2015: Haha, well we've all been answering like you ARE a stalker... So err... sorry about that! If it were me, I would use the flowers to ask her out, and put a note like 'Dinner on Saturday?' or something daft like 'Happy Tuesday! Thinking of you' ... (read in full...)

How long should I wait before I ask him if he sees any possibility of us having a proper romantic relationship in the future?

Q.   Over the past couple of months I have been out with a guy every week or so - meals, days out. We always have a lot of fun and lots of laughter. About a year before we met, he had come out of a very long relationship. So when we first met we agr...

A.   6 September 2015: I would see how the candle lit dinner goes. That sounds like a date to me and should give you a good idea of where he sees your relationship going. If it's still not clear, you can either just wait it out and see if he talks about dating, ... (read in full...)

What message should I send with a bouquet of flowers?

Q.   There's a girl that lives in my village that I like, she's been kind of seeing a player, from what I've heard on the grapevine, he's unreliable and just likes to party. anyway, I'm a pretty romantic kind of a guy, that's just how I am, and I'm ...

A.   6 September 2015: One of my friends had a bunch of flowers sent to her work by a guy she was seeing, and was absolutely mortified and horribly embarrassed by it. Another friend received some flowers at work from her boyfriend and cried with joy. My point is, you ... (read in full...)

I'm 30 and never been kissed

Q.   I am 30 years old and I have never been kissed or been on a date. I feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed because of that. People my age have families and here I am, wondering what kissing feels like, like a 13 year old child. My question is, should ...

A.   21 July 2015: Firstly, please don't fret or worry about this. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Everyone has different experiences at different ages, there's an average age, but not a normal or right age, to do anything. Personally... ... (read in full...)

Do I love him or just really miss him? Where do I go from here?

Q.   I was very close friends with my co - worker.  We got along so well and everyone could see that. We were always messing around and everybody used to make 'lovebird' comments but I never thought anything of it. My thoughts were that we were friends ...

A.   13 July 2015: You've got to move on. You've not managed it because work reminds you of him. If you don't speak that much and he hasn't really kept in touch, then there's nothing to hold on to. He probably did like you and misses you, but as he had a girlfrie... (read in full...)

She says she loves me and I know she does - she's afraid something is missing

Q.   I have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for 10 months now. I'm in my early 30s, she is in her late 20s. We both live in the same city but for the past 6 months I've been traveling off and on to Asia. I am typically home for about ...

A.   13 July 2015: Maybe she thinks something is missing because it is, you need to talk to her to find out what. I would recommend reading about the five languages of love, it might be that you are expressing your love in different ways, and so she feels somethin... (read in full...)

Am I right to be annoyed by her behaviour with another guy when we were out together?

Q.   Hi guys. I recently went on a first date with a girl. It seemed to go pretty well and we even kissed. We have been texting ever since with relative frequency and a couple of attempts have been made to meet again but for various reasons we...

A.   12 July 2015: I think you are right to be annoyed, I think she was rude. If you see an old friend on a date, you say to your date, 'Hey, this is so-and-so, an old friend I haven't seen in a while' and then you say to the old friend 'Nice to see you so-and-so, ... (read in full...)

What does love feel like? Am I being silly looking for more than what I had with him?

Q.   So I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years and on the face of things we had a really great relationship. He really is lovely. So respectful and trustworthy and generous and kind. He would do anything for anyone and I really do love him. The thing is...

A.   12 July 2015: Don't go back to him. When I was with my ex, I really liked her and we got on well and had fun, I thought we'd probably spend the rest of our lives together... But, like you, sometimes I'd wonder if I was actually IN love with her. When we'd b... (read in full...)

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