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30 December 2012: “How do you know someone is right for you”? If most of us knew how to answer this question, you would tend to think there would be less questions posted to this site. Answering this question successfully does depend on a large degree of self-a...
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I want my ex to regret treating me badly. I want him to know I am happy
Q. My bf and I were on and off so many times. He cheated on me twice and while he studied abroad I found out that he kissed some other girl. I forgave him and gave him a lot of chances. We were in a long distance relationship before I broke up with ...
A. 17 May 2013: I would keep him out of your life and carry on along the road you are traveling. You are healing, on the road to recovery, yet you are trying to find a way to insinuate him back into your life, even if consciously you think this is to rub his nose ... (read in full...)
I want to know how my friend feels but am worried about ruining our relationship
Q. I met this boy nearly two years ago at a political meeting, and as soon as he walked into the room I knew that I liked him. It was instantaneous. Since then, my feels have increased ten fold. We've become pretty good friends, and I really don't w...
A. 10 May 2013: Well everything you say here suggests he does feel the same way but then again you want him too, so anything you say would leave that impression. Somebody has to take the plunge here and since you are the person we are talking too it might as well ... (read in full...)
Why am I dreaming about the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with??
Q. So, mad question....i keep dreaming of the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with??? im nice to her in the dreams...here's my story we have been together 4 years now i have 3 kids 2 are his my eldest from a sperm donor (lol) hugs my partner took on we ...
A. 28 April 2013: I agree with the previous poster to a degree, dreams are often are irrational but that is because they are the product of the subconscious mind which isnt fettered by the rules of rationality and is less conditioned than the conscious mind, ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his anger?
Q. I have a boyfriend... we have been dating for lets say 4 years. In the last 3 years everything was perfect but lately as we have gone to college....i am facing a lot of problems because of him. he keeps yelling at me when he is angry with some one ...
A. 28 April 2013: I would say the first thing is that you shouldnt have to deal with his anger, he needs too because it is crossing a line. We all have a rant and rave, hell I do it with my friend nearly every day about work, but the difference is i never turn it ... (read in full...)
Could she still have feelings for me? Or has she moved on? Or is that she does not hold grudges?
Q. I saw my ex on Thursday night and it was strange because things ended very badly with us, I was an idiot and was reckless the way I did it. I know I acted very insensitively after too so I didn't help the situation. So of course I expected her to w...
A. 27 April 2013: I'd say its most likely she has moved on and decided she wants to be your friend. From what you are saying you obviously did something to deserve her anger but id say the fact she has let go of that indicates she has also let go of you. I dont think ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him his snapping and shouting is hurting me?
Q. Hi , My partner and I have been together for four years. We both have full time jobs and we work all the time ( I often work when I get home from work and at weekends too when I need to- to be honest I enjoy working). Lately he has been sna...
A. 7 April 2013: I am sure you are neither delusional nor an idiot and the problems you list are real, the problem is your boyfriend knows all this too, that he has you trapped, you have nowhere to go etc and he is using that to his advantage, he is using it to ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him his snapping and shouting is hurting me?
Q. Hi , My partner and I have been together for four years. We both have full time jobs and we work all the time ( I often work when I get home from work and at weekends too when I need to- to be honest I enjoy working). Lately he has been sna...
A. 7 April 2013: I, like the two other posters, think the problem is not with you but definitely with him and this relationship. He seems extremely controlling and draining to me, and he puts nothing back, leaving you in the position you are in. I think you need to ... (read in full...)
How can I get this boring clingy guy to leave me alone? I'm not interested in him.
Q. I need help. This friend of mine will not leave me alone. I think he's obsessed with me. He asked me out but I turned him down because he is just not my type and to be honest he's boring and clingy. Since then everything I have said that I'm doin...
A. 31 March 2013: I think you have to be firm but fair here. You need to define some boundaries. It seems likely he is rebounding which is the good news because it wont last hopefully. Id say something like what he says is really sweet and thank you but tell him you ... (read in full...)
Despite my boyfriend's assurances, I'm afraid he will leave me and the baby
Q. Hi everyone, I would like some advice pls. I've been dating a wonderful guy for 15months whom im due to have a baby with. Hes 18 and me - 19. We began dating in our last year of secondary school.. had our ups and downs but I do feel like hes the ...
A. 30 March 2013: It seems possible that your insecurities are caused by him saying your the one for him but him not wanting to get married. That would give you an obvious reason to doubt him because one position obviously conflicts with the other. However, I think ... (read in full...)
How do I shut off my feelings?
Q. I find myself getting attached to a girl. I've never felt this way, literally. She is so unique and different from any other girl or person I've ever met. She is so kind and makes me curious to know more about her. She is the most wonderful person ...
A. 24 March 2013: The bad news is that you can't shut off your feelings. You don't always have to follow them in the direction they seem to be taking you though. I would say your obviously responding to the positive qualities this girl has, however, she obviously ... (read in full...)
Truly I actually like him a lot. But I blew him off. How can I make amends now?
Q. Two years ago, i was in a serious relationship. At that point, a friend of mine had just gone through a break up and he was quite heart broken. He'd call me up and i guess i was there for him, so he started trying to get a bit close......
A. 24 March 2013: I'd go all in. You have absolutely nothing to lose now. If he doesnt feel the same way, then he doesn't but that has to be better than saying nothing and not knowing if he does or not? Sit down, write your feelings down and send them to him. You... (read in full...)
How do I salvage my relationship?
Q. How do I salvage my relationship? Where to start... I have been a completely idiot and c**t towards my partner who has only been supportive and full of love to me. We've been together for two and a half years and for the majority of that ti...
A. 17 March 2013: I dont think a month is enough to sort this out because it is connected to sorting yourself out. You do need counselling, maybe even medication to deal with the depression, the depression is also linked to the low sex drive so solving that is the ... (read in full...)
My b/f doesn't want to go on facebook and say we are back together or give me his password to it. This troubles me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. A couple of months ago we broke up for about one month, then decided that wasn't the right decision and have gotten back together. Well, there is a problem that has been bothering me a ...
A. 16 March 2013: Right there are two separate issues here. I have no problem with him denying you his password. He does have a right to privacy as other people have said and the fact is that you need to be able to trust him to exercise this right responsibly. If you ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend is hiding something from me? I need advice please!!!
Q. So my boyfriend is a very respectable guy. He has strong morals and he sticks to them. If anyone were to say he was caught with drugs or he cheated on me others would laugh. So am I wrong to be worried that he's cheating on me? Or hiding someth...
A. 10 March 2013: Hmmm it could be a bit of both. Obviously what you have told him has burnt some bridges with you. He may be feeling lonely, like he is going through the motions and seeking the connection he has lost with you with somebody else so he maybe having a... (read in full...)
I'm going crazy here! And truly, what can a girl do to get a man to notice her once in a while?
Q. There is an executive man I work with that is very hot and cold with me. I can tell in his eyes that is attracted to me. He stares - sometimes quick glances, sometimes long ones that go up and down my whole body. His eyes practically bug out of his ...
A. 9 March 2013: Well if your assessment of this guy is right I dont think you "having it together" will put him off. What might put him off is the fact you work for him and he may well be attracted to you but not want the complications that come with having a ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake by cheating and boyfriend met someone. How do I get him back?
Q. Hi all. Two years ago today I was dumped by my ex. We both did things to each other. I accept I made him insecure by constantly flirting with attractive guys when we went out, and by flirting on dating sites (which he always found out about). I did ...
A. 3 March 2013: Hmmmm I think the chances are minimal to be honest. I think there is too much water under the bridge here. I think you need to focus on getting yourself in order. You have had two abusive relationships as a means of self-punishment. You should feel ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is in prison and I think she's developed feelings for another girl in there
Q. So my girlfriend is in prison. She has been locked up for thirteen months. There is this other girl that she has developed and emotional attachment to.My girlfriend says that they are just friends, but there are little things that they do to make me ...
A. 24 February 2013: I think you need to be careful with this one. For example, you say your girlfriend has "developed an emotional attachment" to this other girl. I am emotionally attached to my friends, it doesn't mean anything or that it is something more. ... (read in full...)
Confused about whether or not to end this relationship. The pros and cons are equal.
Q. Recently I have been thinking about ending my relationship but I'm so unsure whether I am making the right decision or not. I love my boyfriend so much, but at the same time he drives me so mad that I don't know if I could be in this relationship ...
A. 23 February 2013: Hmmmm right I think the real answer here is to find the middle ground. Obviously these issues you have with your boyfriend are serious, little niggles that have accumulated and are serious enough for you to be half tempted to look elsewhere, so they ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex so cruel to me?
Q. Why would he do that? I hate him so much:(? My ex bf cheated on me and dumped me so he could sleep around. I was heart broken for over a year. He came back begging to try and I gave him another chance cause I loved him so much. But it didn...
A. 16 February 2013: Hating him is understandable. He deserves to be hated. However, while you carry on hating him you are giving him the control he obviously craves over you, your life and your emotions. I dont think somebody who hates their ex has actually resolved ... (read in full...)
Could it be that my boyfriend still loves his ex? He tells me he's slept with her several times since they broke up
Q. My boyfriend told me that he has slept with his ex several times since they broke up, she is the mother of his children. This has made me feel paranoid that this could happen again or that at least he still fancies her. I hate how this has made me ...
A. 12 February 2013: I think a lot hangs on the answer to Oldbag's question. If he slept with her while you were together then I would tend to agree, *however*, if this was before you met then I am less inclined to agree. Frankly, its nobodies place to judge what peo... (read in full...)
I thought the break-up had no effect on me. Except I've changed in ways that scare me. What's happened to me?
Q. I was with my ex for 3 years, we broke up around 4 months ago. I loved him so much, at the time he was everything to me! My best friend, my entire world. We broke up because he moved away, and I think some time before that I had subconsc...
A. 10 February 2013: Hmmmmm well I think the first thing is that your assuming the process of getting over your ex started with when you actually broke up with him which it obviously didnt. You say " I think some time before that I had subconsciously decided it was g... (read in full...)
Can anyone please explain to me how it's possible to be too sweet?
Q. Can anyone please explain to me how it's possible to be too sweet? Last weekend when I went out with a girl I've known a few years, we got a little drunk and totally unexpected she kissed me, I've liked this girl since the moment I met her but be...
A. 9 February 2013: Hmmmmm I think that depends, it depends on what shes actually doing. If she is aggressive, even to the point of being physically or emotionally so, then its only a matter of time before somebody turns and for every action there is a reaction... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to forget that he slept with someone else?
Q. Right i have a question and it is really confusing me. Me and my ex been together a year and a half the first 6 months was great, After this it we broke up got back together broke up got back together, i do suffer from personality disorder so occas...
A. 8 February 2013: I think this guy wants to have his cake and eat it to be honest. He hates the thought of you being with somebody else yet expects you to forgive the fact that he has been with somebody else. I have to be honest. I think your putting alot of effort ... (read in full...)
I cant talk about serious things with my b/f and its making wonder if I should end things
Q. I have been at university since September and after a few weeks I started dating this guy. He's a very sweet loving person and always is there for me but sometimes when I want a serious chat it's like he just can't handle things. I used to class him ...
A. 3 February 2013: "Me and my boyfriend are happy together" well, the retort to that is no you obviously are not, why else after-all would you want to cheat and have "serious doubts" about your relationship? You don't want to break up with him but I think at least ... (read in full...)
My college girlfriend just asked me if her friend could sleep in bed with her because all the beds were taken! I would never ask her such a thing!
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now and things are going really really well. I didn't have any trust issues with her. But, I have been out of the state for a week and will be for a whole week more. She just asked me if ...
A. 3 February 2013: I have a bit of a different perspective on this one in that I have shared a bed with a female friend without anything happening. Having said that, I fully understand where you are coming from and id feel the same BUT she did ask you which to me ... (read in full...)
Date night with boyfriend turned into a lads night out. Should I be upset?
Q. I'd like an outside opinion on this if possible please. My boyfriend and I only see each other once or twice per week max due to our working schedules. We had arranged to go on a date night to the cinema tonight after he finished work. However, he ...
A. 2 February 2013: No I dont think you are wrong to feel upset about this. Obviously I think its right and proper that partners in a relationship maintain a social life of their own however there does have to be a balance here and your bf didnt give your feelings any ... (read in full...)
Should I Risk telling my friend my true feelings for her, or play it safe?
Q. So i have this friend I've known all my life. But we've only become really close this last year or so. I'm afraid I'm developing deeper feelings for her. and she isnt making it easy! She says lots of little compliments,like say I'm cute and stu...
A. 27 January 2013: I had to think about this one an awful lot. Your not wrong, this is a huge risk, it could affect your friendship and it could be a disaster. However, I struggle to imagine how you will move on with this giant 'what if' hanging over your head. The ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is unemployed and taking it out on me. What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend is currently unemployed. He was working, but his contract finished at the end of last year. He was employed on a contract so he knew it was going to end. He has been out of work for a few weeks, and its not the best time to find wor...
A. 26 January 2013: Id say he obviously is depressed and this is the problem, depressed people do tend to take out their aggression on other people, especially those they care about the most. I know you are saying he knew and that should change things but it doesn't.... (read in full...)
At 17 how would guys view me if I chose to have an 'open relationship?' or is it just time breakup with my Bf?
Q. Hi guys. What is the male view of an open relationship? I'm 17 and although I enjoy the company of a 'boyfriend' I'm not ready to become monogamous just to one boy. An open relationship where we have the companionship but freedom sounds perfect t...
A. 26 January 2013: @Poster If you want to end this relationship then the best thing you can do is tell the truth. The stuff about maybe cheating and other guys seems unnecessarily hurtful in my eyes and it seems like you still want to keep this guy as a friend. O... (read in full...)
At 17 how would guys view me if I chose to have an 'open relationship?' or is it just time breakup with my Bf?
Q. Hi guys. What is the male view of an open relationship? I'm 17 and although I enjoy the company of a 'boyfriend' I'm not ready to become monogamous just to one boy. An open relationship where we have the companionship but freedom sounds perfect t...
A. 25 January 2013: You're right. If you really liked your boyfriend you wouldnt want to be with other guys so badly that youd be prepared to sleep with them. Sure, youd still find other guys hot and attractive but somewhere in you there would be a switch that sto... (read in full...)
Three years together, but last few months he's been depressed and pushing me away. How can I help?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years we had a great relationship but the last four months hes been really withdrawn and not speaking to me . i have since found out he had debt of five grand that he's kept secret from me and his ...
A. 25 January 2013: Pushing away the people that they care about is one of the first things that depressed people often do. In their own eyes they are simply not worthy of how the other person feels about them, the love and affection they have earned and therefore part ... (read in full...)
My fiance admitted that he was sexually assaulted as a child. He has been with a man twice. Can I trust him?
Q. i have been dating a man for 9 months now and became engaged a month ago, i found out he has been with a man once or twice and was currently talking sex stuff to multiple people women and men. i adressed him with this and he said he has stopped. i ...
A. 23 January 2013: It's worth saving. Context matters. The reasons people do things matter. I am not defending everything he has done BUT the mitigating circumstances to my mind make him worthy of a second chance. Also, significantly, you have the passwords to his ... (read in full...)
Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 22 January 2013: Hmmmm your problem is you have turned him down twice, therefore not surprising he is at the very least probably perplexed by your sudden keenness. A quiet few days could mean actually preparing for the trip though if it is a business or it could ... (read in full...)
What is the difference between gut feelings and anxiety regarding cheating in a relationship?
Q. Dear all, Can anyone please give advice from experience about the difference between gut feelings and anxiety regarding cheating in a relationship? I've been with my BF for over a year now and I've had a bad feeling about his female work co...
A. 21 January 2013: Got to go with So.....I think the reason you dont want to do this is you also know where its headed, to the end of your relationship, but I think its better for you if this ends with your head held high, having confronted him than if this drags on ... (read in full...)
Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 21 January 2013: @neized, Same difference id say :). @Daisy_Daisy makes a valid point. The two times he has asked you out for a genuine date, you have turned him down, yet when it was at his house you said yes! You cant have your cake and eat it here I am afraid... (read in full...)
Is it creepy to have a relationship with him when he posted online for causal sex?
Q. Met a guy on a dating site, we totally clicked and I really really like him and he feels the same about me. We have so much in common too. Seems great right, but I recently found that he or someone that looks amazing like him, posted pics and ...
A. 21 January 2013: Iam asks a valid question. It seems odd that youd randomly find him on such a site unless you were looking there yourself which I can only assume you were. It seems one of the things you have in common is the websites you visit.
Serio... (read in full...)
What is the difference between gut feelings and anxiety regarding cheating in a relationship?
Q. Dear all, Can anyone please give advice from experience about the difference between gut feelings and anxiety regarding cheating in a relationship? I've been with my BF for over a year now and I've had a bad feeling about his female work co...
A. 20 January 2013: I would go with your gut purely because it is instinctive feeling with a totally rationally grounding. I would say that even if physical cheating hasn't happened (which is possible) then your boyfriend is having an emotional affair with his now ex ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my boyfriend that he doesn't need to bring up his children in every conversation?
Q. I am a horrible person that has hurt ny boyfriend in the past. I have changed however and he can see that. He has kids to another girl that he only gets to.see every known and then. i feel like he still loves this girl no matter how much he tells me ...
A. 20 January 2013: On this one, I have to largely agree with Jannipeg. It sounds to me like you have self-esteem issues (though I am not ruling out the possibility you did do something that was worthy of losing your boyfriends trust). Whether that is/was the catalyst ... (read in full...)
Why can't I keep a friendship going? When I get closer the friendship falls apart.
Q. I seem to have trouble keeping friendships. In the past year alone i have lost two close friends whom i did consider to be bestfriends. I feel like the longer i spend time with a person the farther we drift. I have friends who are not so c...
A. 20 January 2013: You need to put a bit more detail on this one to get a decent answer. What happened with the two ex-friends you mention? I do think you have some self-esteem issues, from the tone of this post ie, you ask is there something wrong with me? You also ... (read in full...)
Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?
Q. Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...
A. 20 January 2013: Hang on, you've met him, made out, but not had sex but still think he could be using you for sex? Can you see the slight logical problem with your position here? On both occasions he could have pushed further, for full sex, and got what he wanted ... (read in full...)
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