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*ucy.whittaker agony aunt

*ucy.whittaker

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*ucy.whittaker's profile:

Hey everyone,

My name is Lucy and I’m 25. I work part time and am a part time student, in the final year of my degree. I will be training as a teacher next year. I'm with a fantastic 30 year old guy and have been for six years. We have lived together for nearly 3 years.

I’m here to give occasional advice, and to ask the odd question myself.

Lucy XxX

Just found out that I'm 5 weeks pregnant. That father is a man who lies and cheats. Can you help me with options advice please?

Q.   I have just found out that i am 5 weeks pregnant. It came as a bit of a shock as i had broken up with my ex due to the fact that he had turned up at my house with a love bite on his neck! He told me that he was play fighting with his friend a...

A.   3 June 2014: It would be a good idea to speak it through with a professional. I would recommend speaking to someone at Marie Stopes International, they are exceptionally professional and can explain all of your options to you confidentially. I (very) recently ... (read in full...)

Without my glasses I didn't realise she was much older. How do I extricate myself tactfully?

Q.   Dear all, I do not know how I have found myself in this situation... I met this woman at salsa and discovered we work for the same organization. She was kinda pretty and interesting, so I kept in touch with her. We had lunch at the park 5 days ...

A.   8 August 2013: You actually sound quite sweet. I suggest you wait it out and find someone you are interested in. It would be unfair to both you to peruse it any further. Just cool off with her, and find someone your own age to wiggle your salsa hips at :P Lucy ... (read in full...)

It upsets me when my Bf will not reply to my texts. Why does this wind me up?

Q.   How can I feel better when my boyfriend doesn't reply to my text messages? I know, I know, there's stuff that's way more important. Last night we had a long text conversation (which was lovely), then a couple of hours later I sent him a messa...

A.   12 October 2012: It worried me at first when I got together with my boyfriend. He would leave hours between texts and rarely engage in conversations via text, but I mentioned that he was useless at replying to me and he just said he forgets. He'll read something and ... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend but how do we get the spark back? I felt that spark with another guy and was tempted.

Q.   Hi there, I've not written anything here in a while - I've not needed to! I've been in a happy and stable relationship for two and a half years. However I've had something playing on my mind and I need to get it out. My other half went to Can...

A.   12 October 2012: The guys was very single and very interested. But you are both right, it wasn't him personally, just the feeling of being wanted in a really physical way. It's difficult to get that with someone who has seen you in all your most off-putting ... (read in full...)

Should I quit work and return to Uni? In a LTR which may be affected by the decision.

Q.   This isn't really a relationship problem but I would be very grateful for any advice offered. Basically I suspended my uni studies last year due to personal problems and I'm torn between going back or not. I'm worried if I do go back the same thing ...

A.   11 October 2012: I was in your exact same position this time two years ago. I left Uni and after a little while thought about going back. For me, I decided not to. Purely because I wasn't ready. When it comes to Uni there is no rush to get a degree. You can go back ... (read in full...)

Contraceptive implants

Q.   Hey Everyone, So this question is directed at any woman who has/had a Contraceptive implant. I'm interested in getting one, and have read up a little about them but would like to hear a review from someone who has really had one. Thanks! ...

A.   25 February 2011: Thanks guys! I went to the doctor today, but apparently it's become very popular recently and there is only one doctor trained to do it, so there's a waiting list which I'm now on. She gave me the injection to tide me over because I didn't want to ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend at uni 200 miles away and I rarely see him...

Q.   My boyfriend moved to uni, 200 miles from me.. ever since his been down ther ive always asked him to come down or ill go down to him.. its been 5months since he left and in that time ive only seen him twice... ive spoken to him about this and h...

A.   23 February 2011: Hi Luna, I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment, so my advice to you will go against what I believe for myself, but by the sound of it this isn't working for either of you. The problem with going away to University is it changes ... (read in full...)

Porn video sent to me, how will g/f react?

Q.   ive been with my girlfriend for over 1 year and 6 months and she wanted me to give up p*rn after we first had intercourse which i understand but i failed about 4 times breaking her heart which made me relise what a twat ive been about it and for ...

A.   17 February 2011: There have been a handful of questions like this on here this morning, and to all of them I say the same thing. Porn is a totally natural thing. There is nothing wrong with looking at it. Unfortunately it's a fact that a lot of women don't ... (read in full...)

Circumcision :- to do or, not to do. That is the question

Q.   well here goes I am an non-circumcised male and love making has never been a problem but i recently happened to be with a girl who does not get wet well enough, is a virgin as far as penetration is concerned and has real tight vaginal walls, tried ...

A.   17 February 2011: There's a very simple solution to your problem. Use lubrication. Sorted. Lucy XxX (Personally, circumcision freaks me out. Leave it the way it is. You really want someone taking a knife to your manhood?! Good Luck)... (read in full...)

How can I find out if boyfriend is watching porn?

Q.   Other than the history, how can you find out if porn is being viewed on the internet? or webcams being viewed? boyfriend vows that he hasn't been watching it anymore, but how can I be sure? He lives with me and uses my computers, I have thought ...

A.   17 February 2011: Why do you have a problem with him watching porn in the first place? It's a very natural and normal thing for both women and men to do. Unless his attitude to porn is one of addiction, where he cannot go a day without watching it then it should be ... (read in full...)

While separated, my wife got more action than me and it makes me mad!

Q.   my wife and i got back togather after a year i had sex only once. she had sex with two guys the first one she says she kick off the other guy she was in a relationship with and had sex many times but says she was not in to it or didn't like it. she ...

A.   17 February 2011: You should do neither. In my opinion in the time which you were separated you have no say over what she did and who she saw. It makes no difference if those men were better than you, or if she got more than you. Your attitude sounds very possessive ... (read in full...)

It's been 9 months, but I'm not yet over the ex!

Q.   I'm only 17, and last year, in May; my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me, and it completely destroyed me; he was the one whom I lost it too and completely fell in love with, even though there was some abuse in the relationship I just blamed ...

A.   11 February 2011: Hey Honey, The sad truth is you will never be really over him, not in the way you'd like to be or think you should be. You will always feel sad when you see him. But the feeling does fade with time and eventually it won't hurt as much. And when... (read in full...)

What is it with guys and texting?!

Q.   Hi fellow aunts and uncles :) I was just hoping you could offer me some advice... What is it about guys and texting!? So there's this guy I saw the other day for drinks with friends, about the fourth time we've met (we've kissed previous...

A.   11 February 2011: Hey Love, Men are USELESS at texting, and it's something we, as women, always need to bare in mind. He texted you first, so he's clearly into you. Next time he texts, because he will, just don't reply for a few hours. Let him see how it feels, b... (read in full...)

How could he say he love me and go straight to someone else?

Q.   I was 16 he was 19. He got a new girlfriend straight away. People tell me that im heaps prettier and shes really anoying and not supportive. I was happy because i hoped he would come back to me but its been like 2 monhs since they have been ...

A.   11 February 2011: Hey love, I'd say just move on. He's in a new relationship now, and it doesn't matter if you are prettier or nicer or a better girlfriend than her - he's not going to come back. And I know it's hard to accept that when you still have feelings... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of 11 years begs me for more threesomes!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years, we have awesome sex and have gotten kinky over the past 3 years! He discovered that I am into women and we have introduced a few into are bedroom with us. I normally perform with her and then he performs ...

A.   11 February 2011: Hey, Oh dear, sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a pickle. Getting a third party involved in your relationship is always a problematic thing to do if you don't keep the situation very well under control. I would sit down and talk to ... (read in full...)

Was this more than a friendship hug?

Q.   I met my co-worker by coincidence. He tapped me on the shoulder. He put his hand out to shake his hand. Then, we looked eye and eye and reached his arm over for a half hug with a gentle squueze. I patted him on the back. Since then, I can't get over ...

A.   11 February 2011: Hey, I really wouldn't take it to mean so much. It's nice that you have a friend at work, but he has a wife and kids and a hug does NOT mean he's in love with you. This wasn't an indication that he likes you any more than as a friend, and I wo... (read in full...)

Want to change my birth control

Q.   hi all. i want to get rid of my iud because of painful side effects. i would like to get the essure procedure which is permanent. my boyfriend of 4+ years doesnt want me to get the procedure but i dont understand why. we have had numerous talk...

A.   11 February 2011: Hey, Sounds like he hopes that you'll change your mind one day about kids. Are you really sure this is what you want? How can you be sure that one day in the future you may feel differently about children and then regret having the procedure do... (read in full...)

Love and bills.

Q.   Hello, I'm in a relationship with a man who loves me and knows about my past. However, I have big financial woes (he knows about that too). I've almost 30 thousand dollars of debt in credit cards and personal loans. I'm embarrassed by i...

A.   27 December 2010: I don't know how the system works in the US, but I would say go to a Citizens Advice Bureau and find some representation. People there can help you to negotiate a payment scheme with your creditors and help you devise a realistic budget. There is ... (read in full...)

I do all the housework and he refuses to contribute or help.

Q.   I don't know what to do. I am in a relationship with a guy who is a year younger than me. He moved in with me three months ago (after online dating for two--I know it was a little soon...) I'm starting to get second thoughts about continuing a ...

A.   27 December 2010: This man really doesn't sound like a good egg. If I were you I would tell him to shape up or get out. If nothing changes then he's got to go - don't let him take you for granted. It sounds like you work really hard to support yourself and your son. ... (read in full...)

Merry Christmas, with an off-color queston!

Q.   This is NOT a relationship question. At least not yet :-). I'm just on a playful mood at the time, taking a break from work, and one of those weird and funny thoughts that give you the goosebumps came to my mind. I want to wish everyone a Merry ...

A.   21 December 2010: Merry Christmas Everyone! @Danielepew, Somehow I don't think so! Can't imagine creating static 'down there' would have very good consequences... @Cerberus That is HILARIOUS! Don't think you're going to able to get her back for that one! Luc... (read in full...)

Does "love at first sight" really exist?

Q.   Is there really such a thing as "love at first sight" or should it be "attraction at first sight" - I think the first has happened to me. ...

A.   21 December 2010: I believe in it, even if it is a little naïve. Sometimes you can just sense that someone is special. Obviously you have to get to know them to find out if that first instinct is right, but I believe that if you both feel that instant connection then ... (read in full...)

He jokingly told me to get an abortion!

Q.   Hello, I need some little help here. First of all, me and my boyfriend are together for about 2 years and we love each other very much. We haven't had sex yet, but we're about to (both virgins). One of my greatest fears is "what if the c...

A.   19 December 2010: Hey Honey, Everyone here seems to be responding very negatively to your decision to have sex with your boyfriend. In my opinion this is a very unhealthy and unkind way to respond. It is a very beautiful and positive thing for a couple to feel rea... (read in full...)

A rose for my rose...

Q.   I'm in a Long distance relationsip (1 year and 5 days, 123 miles away) I've seen her 3 times, I gave her a rose when we met the 3rd time, We're going to meet up every 2 weeks from next year, is it over the top to give her a rose EVERY time I see ...

A.   14 December 2010: Heya, While that's a pretty cute idea, you're right, it might be a little over the top. I'd save the roses for special occasions, such as anniversaries and birthdays. Might also turn out to be pretty expensive after a while. Maybe you could br... (read in full...)

How old do you have to be before age doesn't matter?

Q.   How old do you have to be before age doesnt matter? Im 22years old and i really like a girl who is only 17, 5years is a big difference at this age i think, although she doesnt act or look 17, i feel as though we are the same age but i know when we ...

A.   21 January 2010: Hey, I went out with a 23 year old guy when I was 17, and although it didn't work out it was nothing to do with his age. Knew him through work and the age difference was something we never really noticed, other than that he could drive me around p... (read in full...)

Why are jealous men viewed as being unhealthy?

Q.   Why do many women beleive that men being jealous or protective is unhealthy? Why do many women seem to take sides with a woman even if she is a bitch or has wronged a man? It is realy starting to piss me off that men are veiwed as assholes all the ...

A.   7 January 2010: It depends on the extent of jealousy or protectiveness. For example, a man who wants to look after the woman he loves, to protect her from being hurt is the way it should be. A man who wants to control, or tries to control the actions of the woman ... (read in full...)

Please Help! How can I take the relationship back to being casual?

Q.   Hi All, I split up with my ex of 3 years 3 months ago. Got into a relationship with a new guy, who is really nice and stuff, but it's moved really fast and I'm not ready for anything too heavy or serious. How do I take it back to being just fun w...

A.   6 January 2010: That would be a good thing to do, were I not an absolute Atheist and if he weren't totally aware of that fact. I have been sleeping with him since we got together, he stayed at my place for about 2 weeks worth of the month. It's good, but he's like ... (read in full...)

My wife and I just don't seem to be on the same page...

Q.   My wife says she has never done anything to jepordize our marriage but i feel hurt all the time by her behavior. I tell her how i feel but she denies ever doing anything inappropriate and says it it something i have made up in my mind. Any sugge...

A.   6 January 2010: Hey, For anyone to be able to answer this you're going to have to tell us what this 'behaviour' is. What exactly is it she's doing/saying to upset you? Lucy... (read in full...)

I am in love with my teacher and I don't want to give up on this idea, what should I do?

Q.   i am in love with my maths teacher, he was my form tutor when i was year 7 and im 13 and in year 9 now. he knows how i feel cuz one of my mates told him (which i hav forgiven her for now). he is so gorgeous and he seems to treat me more caringly ...

A.   3 January 2010: Much as you might like not to give up on it, you really should. The whole thing with 'teasing' your english teacher is extremely childish and you and your friends should be ashamed of doing it, you should all grow up and respect her as your senior. ... (read in full...)

Hollywood ex: Do? or don't?

Q.   Hi All, So my boyfriend has been sort of hinting that he'd like me to get strip the carpet downstairs, but I'm a little unsure about it. Ladies, have you done it before? Would you recommend it? Does it hurt as much as I think it might? Any ot...

A.   23 December 2009: Hi All, Thanks so much for your opinions! I decided to bite the bullet and go for it! Hurt alot less than i'd braced myself for, although that may have been the 3 large glasses of pinot grigio which were kindly suggested :) Now just got to wait... (read in full...)

My best friend had revealed he's in love with me, but I don't feel the same!!

Q.   Hi All, One of my best friends has revealed he has stronger feelings for me than as friends, but I don't feel the same... Can we stay friends? Please read it all, as there are details that change circumstances in what i've written. Thanks!...

A.   22 December 2009: Thanks Griffo, that was helpful, I think I'll leave talking to him until when we get home to Wales, then if he talks to me I'll sit him down and explain what happened and how I feel. Sounds like a good plan. LazyGuy, yes, my life is a bit of a mes... (read in full...)

Do girls like red headed guys?

Q.   Hi im 20 year old guy,and im a natural red head, my question is do girls like red headed guys or do they find them a turn off?...

A.   22 December 2009: Some of the most beautiful people I know are natural redheads. There's an absolutely stunning guy in my Lectures who has the most delicious quite long red hair. However, some of the least attractive people I know are ginger, which is really ... (read in full...)

Hollywood ex: Do? or don't?

Q.   Hi All, So my boyfriend has been sort of hinting that he'd like me to get strip the carpet downstairs, but I'm a little unsure about it. Ladies, have you done it before? Would you recommend it? Does it hurt as much as I think it might? Any ot...

A.   21 December 2009: Just as a note, the title should have read: Hollywood Wax, not 'Hollywood Ex' and writing 'get' was a typo. Thanks!!... (read in full...)

Is it a good idea to be single when you go to University? Or can relationships work whilst you are at Uni?

Q.   Hey. I'm currently in my last year of school and hoping to go to uni next year, which is all good. But there's something that got me thinking... Loads of people are saying that you should be single when you go to uni. Apparently if you're in a rel...

A.   21 December 2009: Hey honey, I started at Uni this year. Gave up a place at Sussex to go to Bangor because my boyfriend was going there. We'd been together for 3 years. 4 weeks in he left me for another girl. We were strong and happy before Uni but when we got ther... (read in full...)

Kissing (and sleeping) Cousins, what if the family finds out?

Q.   Me and my second cousin are 17 we fell in love in secret, slept together in secret i also found out i was pregnant but we had a miscarriage, our family would go crazy at us he said he dosent care as long as he's with me but i cant help but be very ...

A.   13 December 2009: Hey, Sorry to be one of the least supportive people to answer, as everyone else seems to think this is a normal thing to do? But personally, I think being in a relationship with a member of your family is just wrong. I am sorry that you lost a b... (read in full...)

I have heard rumours my 15 yo boyfriend is gay, and I am a girl!

Q.   Hey, im 14 and my boyfriends 15. i'm worried about his sexuality and i'm not sure if its just rumors starting to sink in or if he really is. don't get me wrong he is really sweet and very funny but sometimes he sends off signals. when we first ...

A.   13 December 2009: Hey, I think that you shouldn't worry too much about it, rumours are hurtful and childish, and if you can rise above them then it shows a real strength of character. You're still young, and at 14/15 a lot of people are still working out who they... (read in full...)

I don't know if I should start dating a new guy when I am still not over the last guy

Q.   Should I go dating with a guy I have feelings for when I am still not over the pain and hurt from the last relationship? I have feelings for this guy but I am really afraid to fall in love again because of the betrayal from my previous relationship ...

A.   13 December 2009: Hey, I was sort of in your position about 3 weeks ago. My ex and I split after 3 years in September and I was in pieces, and I'm still very hurt about it all. However, I met Ben and we really really clicked and he makes me happy. The way I handle... (read in full...)

My life is one sad tale....

Q.   Hey aunts.I'm a 14 year old guy and turning 15 in a few days. My life is so complicated but yet too simple at the same time. I don't know what to do. Everything pretty much sucks for me. I never get anything easy. Everything bad always has to happen ...

A.   14 November 2009: Hey honey, Don't listen to this 'clinically depressed' stuff, there's nothing abnormal or unhealthy about what you're feeling. You're 14 years old, it's the worst age to be. BUT don't despair, it's all up from here :) We all go through times wh... (read in full...)

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