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*ittynora

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12Next > [2 pages, 58 answers]

Why would my co-worker buy me coffee and a muffin?

Q.   Today one of my coworkers that I'm friendly with surprised me with coffee and muffin from a fast food place. I normally get to work an hour early because parking spaces are scarce--first come first serve. When I arrived, he came to my window and...

A.   30 January 2017: I honestly think it was just an act of Kindness. Its sad times when a co worker cannot buy someone a coffee without there being alterior motive. I mean a bloke cant even tell a woman her air looks nice these days without people thinking he wants ... (read in full...)

She has helped me a lot through some difficult times. Would it be acceptable to send her flowers as a thank you?

Q.   I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years. We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has...

A.   24 January 2017: Oh for goodness sake, people really do think too much these days. just send her the flowers, she knows you and the difficult times you have had. Why should she take it the wrong way. Just send em.... (read in full...)

My mother's judgmental, cruel and poisons my relationships!

Q.   So this is about my mother and her opinion about my relationships. I am a 30 year old guy and I've had a few long and short time rekationships where I introduced my gfs to my mother. Most of the time they got along well - when we visited, my mom ...

A.   16 January 2017: If you only knew the emotion this has stirred up in me. Your story has brought so many memories back for me. Although I love her dearly mother mother was just the same. Every boyfriend I had she split us up. I was engaged and she made me give him up ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has been secretive about his female friend in the past and now she's invited herself to stay with him for a week. How do I handle this?

Q.   I [21F] am in a relationship with my boyfriend [24M] (Mike, for future reference) for a year and a half, but our problem started about 6 months in. We met on the university both studying physics so it was easy for me to become a part of his college ...

A.   14 January 2017: You are not paranoid or irrational far far from it you have handled this situation in such a adult and calm manner. You must have the patience of a saint. Okay I have lots of male friends, when you are friends with someone you should automatic... (read in full...)

He told me "nothing happened" when he went for a massage and I don't whether to believe him or not. What do you think?

Q.   My partner went to one only ones I been with him for 12 years have 4 daughters and the youngest one is only 3 months old I noticed with our sexual relationship I will have sex with him 3 times a week with my choosing and normally it's all the time...

A.   12 January 2017: Did he take his underwear off at the massage parlour? If so I do not see the reason for anyone to need to take their underwear off, especially of he is having problems with his back. Do you know which parlour it was? can you find out anything abo... (read in full...)

Should I be concerned ? He came home from his class, wearing cologne

Q.   My boyfriend is a self defense instructor at our gym. He teaches an hour class one evening each week voluntarily. I noticed this evening that he came home from his class, wearing cologne. This is the first time that I have ever noticed him wea...

A.   12 January 2017: You know the media the internet etc all give us "signs to look out for when your partner/hubby/wife is cheating", Signs such as dressing differently, behaving differently, wearing cologne when they don't usually wear cologne. Then people wonder why ... (read in full...)

His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?

Q.   How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...

A.   10 January 2017: I am with "Fatherly Advice" who had hit the nail on the head. I think it was lovely to be honest and perhaps he was too nervous. My husband on our 3rd date stood me out side this hotel and said "This is where we are getting married" Me, "Get ... (read in full...)

The sex is good but I want more!

Q.   I'll get straight to the point: I'm not happy with my sex life. I'e been with my husband for 15 years, we're married for 4. we are happy in our realtionship- though there are always things to work on. He works a lot, which is fine. He is caring and ...

A.   10 January 2017: Honestly I think you should consider your husbands needs here, you say he works a lot perhaps he does not feel like more sex. He also helps you with the housework, my husband does too that's why I realise I am so lucky, you are lucky. He is car... (read in full...)

He's asked for another separation because it's hard for him that I don't trust him!

Q.   I been with my husband for 15 years. About 6 years ago we briefly seperated because he started talking and texting with this girl from work. He said that it was nothing but deep inside me always screamed that it was something. We got back together ...

A.   9 January 2017: I always say that you know deep down when something is wrong, you can feel it and you cant explain why. If my husband stayed up all night talking to some woman I would be upset. Don't get me wrong I have got male friends on social media and I talk ... (read in full...)

My crazy abusive ex got a job where I work.

Q.   I was in a emotionally abusive relationship for years. I finally had the strength to get away. For years, the cycle was that she would do something horrific to me, and then break up with me. We would proceed not to speak for a while until she ...

A.   9 January 2017: WiseOwl as usual has given excellent advice. Its a horrible position for you to be in especially after all you have been through, I hope she leaves you alone. Be strong hold your head up high and any trouble like wiseowl said go straight to HR and ... (read in full...)

Is he being a bit too selfish or not?

Q.   Hi, my boyfriend (45) and me (34) live in two different (European) states. We have been on an LDR since last Sept.(when we first got to know each other). Then we struck a “whatsapp relationship” until I flew to him for a week during the New Year ...

A.   9 January 2017: What is he going to be doing for the rest of the week, if you move out there and you only see him on weekends? What is the point of you moving you home and job and states for him who only wants to see you on weekends. How much do you really kn... (read in full...)

Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?

Q.   My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...

A.   9 January 2017: I feel angry right now just reading our question!!!! No you have NOT over reacted. So he cant come and see you because he had a quarrel with his mummy? oh bless. I'm sorry but I think that he is lying to you. If he had an argument with his mum ... (read in full...)

I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my in laws!

Q.   I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my husbands family . He has several family members who beliefs and behaviour are very challenging and they sometimes stay with us as they live interstate . Some are currently or were in the past ...

A.   8 January 2017: Well I am trying to get my head around all this and as a mental health nurse I normally don't have a problem. But crikey there is a lot going on here Also this is NOT a diagnosis So I am going to break it up into manageable parts. One se... (read in full...)

Present employer could jeopardise new employment

Q.   Not a dating/relationship question, but would really appreciate any input from anyone who has any ideas/thoughts on this problem, as it could turn out to be a big problem for me. I have worked for a number of years for a small, family-owned com...

A.   8 January 2017: Please go onto this site ACAS and take a good look around it is really good. It sounds to be as though you are all bieng bullied. The site lists in alphabetical order all the problems you can encounter at work, I have used them and some of my ... (read in full...)

When he said he had a daughter, I started thinking of all the firsts I wouldn't have with him and the trips we couldn't take!

Q.   I am single after being in constant relationships since I was 16. I was with a man from 16 to 21 and when we split up I got with a guy from 21 till I was 22. The past few months have been hard, but I have learnt how to become independent, I have ...

A.   8 January 2017: When I was your age, well, about 21, I met a chap and he had been married and divorced he had a delightful little boy. I adored him but then I love kids so I was quite chuffed that he had a child to be honest. I used to buy him loads of toys and we ... (read in full...)

Am I being over sensitive? or is my reaction understandable?

Q.   Feeling fed up! So I'm about to turn 30 in 2 days time I've spent the last year dreading the time coming I don't know why - I know age is just s number etc however my 2 best friends have been insisting that we must do something to celebrate my ...

A.   8 January 2017: I too dreaded becoming thirty I was so low and depressed about it. I think it was because I had not got any children yet at that time( I had my son at 38). I dreaded my 30th more that my 50th (I'm nearly 53 now). You are at the best time of your ... (read in full...)

Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?

Q.   I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...

A.   8 January 2017: He did compliment you, he called you "My beautiful" etc. The he said that he misses you. have you ever sent him a video like this before? There could be a million and one reasons. He may not have had one sent to him before. He may not agree wi... (read in full...)

I think she's going to dump me because her dog loves me more than her!

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for a little while now, but she has trouble with her dog loving her... I see that the dog loves her, but she thinks the dog loves me more and dosent love her at all. Recently I have been accused of stealing her dog...

A.   7 January 2017: "Like I see its" BRILLIANT answer has said everything I wanted to say ESPECIALLY the bit about if you had children together. I love animals I really do but to be honest I have no patience with some of these "wacko" animal lovers. I think her ... (read in full...)

Suspicious of what's going on at work.

Q.   I would appreciate your opinion on this. I left my previous job for a better opportunity. I work in finance department and my new job hasn't offered any training. So far I'm doing well. Just my manager doesn't realize that I started last month. ...

A.   7 January 2017: You have only been in the job for one month, you say they haven't offered you any training, so I'm guessing that that have not given you a new starter induction either. Your manager should not be talking to ANYONE else about your ability to do th... (read in full...)

I'm worried that his mother will say something mean in Spanish about me!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. So far he's has met my family but for the most part they like him. But I haven't met his mom yet (I met his younger brother and sister). She doesn't speak english well and I'm really anxious about ...

A.   7 January 2017: I agree with Ivyblue. Just be well mannered and polite. try to learn some of the customs and language. This may help www.justlanded.com/english/Spain/Articles/Culture/Social-customs-in-Spain. ... (read in full...)

The phone messages he's been receiving from her do bother me. But how do I raise the issue with my husband?

Q.   Hello I am a woman in my late 20's who has been married for 2 years. I have a problem and don't know how to handle it. My husband back when we were first dating over 4 years ago had cheated on me with a woman he was friends with at a drunken par...

A.   5 January 2017: There is a saying here in England Slowly slowly catch a monkey. You could confront him but lets face it if he has been in contact with her he is hardly likely to admit it is he? How come he is in contact with her after 4 years? He may n... (read in full...)

Should I be more angry or just let it go? My wife confessed that she gave oral briefly to a male stripper at a party

Q.   Hi, my wife went to a girls party night recently where we both knew there would be male strippers. I was totally cool with it but she got carried away with the night and ended up giving a few seconds of oral to all but one of the stripper...

A.   5 January 2017: People do get carried away at these events, especially as they have had a drink and can sometimes be egged on by so called mates. I have never quite understood why women want to go and see a male stripper, mind you I have been a nurse for 32 yea... (read in full...)

Do his comments about other women signify insecurity or a potential cheat?

Q.   Hey, My boyfriend is very loving, sweet, complimentary etc but he does this thing that is really starting to grate on me... Basically when we watch films/ tv when a fit women comes on he's VERY vocal about it I.e. "id put it in her" "she's so s...

A.   4 January 2017: I'm sorry but if a fella spoke in front of me like that he would be history. It is childish, common, tacky, disrespectful and vulgar. He sounds like an idiot to be honest. When he does it again I would let him know in no uncertain term what a ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my wife I've been visiting massage parlours?

Q.   I'm a married man in my early 50s with a big secret. I've developed a habit of visiting massage parlours and receiving massages that end with sexual stimulation and orgasm. This started a few months ago and I love the excitement of headin...

A.   4 January 2017: I can understand how you feel. I was in a celibate marriage however the only thing that bothered me about the no-sex was that I wanted children. What did I do? I had an affair and I have been married to that man for 15 years now. I feel ashamed of ... (read in full...)

My married lover wants me to move to his country with our son

Q.   Dear readers, I am in a really complex situation. 8 years ago, I met a man - we were both married at the time. I didn't have any children, because my then husband did not want any, despite my wanting a child desperately. The other person (OP) has ...

A.   3 January 2017: I can totally understand how you feel. My first marriage was celibate and I was desperate for a child. I left him had an affair and a son and remarried again. Its something I will never forgive myself for. I warn you, you may be judged on this s... (read in full...)

Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?

Q.   Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...

A.   3 January 2017: My mother in law does NOT hate me. I also do not have a short fuse.... (read in full...)

I'm 25 and feel like my best years are behind me. Am I going to be ok?

Q.   I'm 26 no job, no degree and have no sexual/relationship experience. I know that I could live to 50 and beyond but it feels like my best years are behind me. I can't help but feel like once you destroy your youth opportunities your life is ...

A.   2 January 2017: I don't want to patronise you I really don't. But I am 53, I did not get married until I was 25 and I was a virgin can you believe that. As for a degree I did not get my degree until I was 50. And like Denizen has said degrees are not everything. I ... (read in full...)

Wedding is booked. But groom has cold feet. He's 40 and is fearful of commitment. What should I do?

Q.   Hi We are due to get married in just a few weeks time. A number of days ago, my fiancee has said to me he has cold feet about the wedding and is overcome with nervousness and fear about the day itself, growing up and getting married. We are ...

A.   2 January 2017: Oh dear your poor thing I really feel for you. I am angry with him though, okay its normal to get cold feet nut Its not right to keep you hanging on. I agree with honeypie be tough with him say you got so long don't contact me etc. How dare he do ... (read in full...)

If you are a parent or a carer of special needs child can you help advise me on any of my questions ? I am not asking for experts, just parents in a similar situation

Q.   My severly disabled son has to go into residential care soon . We don't want this but he is very aggressive and they need to take him in to stabilise him because he is on too many medications and they think he will be better going to school and ...

A.   1 January 2017: Female reader anonoymous thankyou so much for your lovely message. It really does mean a lot to me. Sorry I haven't done the ffedback earlier I have had a heavy cold. I will tell you about my son so you can have an understanding of him. He is 14, he ... (read in full...)

He is clearly lying, but why does he keep doing this? I don't know why??

Q.   I'm so confused!! I was friends with my ex for 3 years and seeing him the last year. The break up was bad as I accused him of seeing someone. He repeatedly denied it but he had lied to me a couple of times previously (just white lies he said...

A.   30 December 2016: To be honest I think you have been more than patient with this man. He switches his phone off when it suits him and why not tell you he is on holiday. If he is still communicating with you and inviting you out on dates he does not keep well why is ... (read in full...)

I did the most stupid thing I've ever done. How to repair the damage? How can I make it up to him?

Q.   Im an idiot for what i did . Theres 2 guys , one texts a lot and makes a lot of effort through texts the other could make me wait a few days for a reply . the one who texts me a lot i see a future with but he drags his feet wanting to spend ti...

A.   30 December 2016: I think you are being far too hard on yourself. You have only done what lots of people do and that is to try to make someone jealous ( its called the chase). You have not lied really, you do have two blokes interested, some people just need a kick ... (read in full...)

Can you be pregnant with negative test results?

Q.   I had sex with a guy one night in September. I dont really remember what happened but i know we had sex. We used a condom but i am unsure if he secretly slipped it off or of the condom may have failed. It isvDecember now and my stomach looks ...

A.   30 December 2016:  Don't wait a month, you need to be seen as soon as possible. What I would do is ring your doctors surgery, tell them your symptoms and ask for a much earlier appointment if they wont, keep the doctors appointment don't cancel. Then ask/insist to ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for a 69 year old man to have only one topic he wants to talk about, namely his 30 year old divorced daughter. Is it worth continuing this relationship?

Q.   I am 54 years old and met a really nice man who is 15 years my senior. He is divorced and has two daughters one aged 34 and the other in her twenties. On our first date he made a toast to his eldest daughters success in getting a promotion. (i...

A.   29 December 2016: Do you know I feel so wrong for saying this but I am suspicious. I don't think he sees his daughter as much as he would like too. I know you said she has moved back home is there any evidence of this? Is a lot of his talk wishful thinking... (read in full...)

Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?

Q.   Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...

A.   29 December 2016: Thank you female reader anonymous. Whereas yes I was in the wrong for calling this woman an old trout I have been astounded by the replies from people who are supposed to be caring and understanding. I was very frazzled and we try our best. I ... (read in full...)

Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?

Q.   Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...

A.   27 December 2016: Oh for goodness sake of course I have seen a therapist my son is 14 of course we have professional assistance, my son HAS to go into residential care soon, because the school, the transport and his respite care cannot cope with him. Because his ... (read in full...)

Ist it over for us?

Q.   After, my boyfriend came back from school, he wanted to get in touch with me but I wasn't really available because I was writing exams. After the exams, my boyfriend has been ignoring me for one week (after writing the exams), he doesn't reply my...

A.   26 December 2016: I think he is sulking because he has had no attention, as you very sensibly attended to your exams. I would message him one more time and put something like "You said you were not feeling yourself, hope you are okay and not unwell". Then leave it at ... (read in full...)

Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?

Q.   Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...

A.   26 December 2016: NO you are wrong anonymous I felt that she was going to say something about my son NOT call me a name. Thinking about it I COULD have called her a lot worse but I did not. How do you know what sort of CRAP day I had, had? you do not. I offered her ... (read in full...)

Was I right to call this woman a silly old trout over her cashmere jumper?

Q.   Today me my husband and my severly disabled son when into a fish a chip shop restaurant. My son got hold of one of those small squeeezy packets of sauce, (he can grab at people and throw things so we always try to sit well away from people. )We were ...

A.   25 December 2016: Yes you are right Cindy cares I did take my eye of the ball for a few seconds and that’s all it needs I guess. My son is 14 and has the mental age of one, I am usually so good at watching him and preventing danger. I have had to be, me and his d... (read in full...)

I think I may not be the only one he likes

Q.   I'm in love with a guy in my school, that's university.i met him in early September.My problem is, I don't really know whether he likes me just as a friend or more than a friend. Even though he constantly tell me he likes me, holds my hands often, ...

A.   23 December 2016: Maybe you are in love with him, but I agree with the other Aunties that this chap is a player, he wants attention. He also sounds like someone who would cheat. I would keep him at a distance and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could spit. ... (read in full...)

How could she have a three year sexual affair with this guy, and still have sex with me??

Q.   I recently discovered that my wife has been having a sexual affair with a single friend of ours for the past three years, usually when I was at work.... he is single and has had girlfriends in this three year period..She knew this because he came ...

A.   23 December 2016: You asked what a cheating wife experiences. I cheated on my first husband, I am married to the man I cheated with. I left my first husband because for 12 years the marriage was celibate and I was desperate for children. My first husband is now ... (read in full...)

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