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*enny agony aunt


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Hi All,

Im Kenny and i currently live in the south of england in a place called Colchester.

I stumbled upon this site just over a year ago, and like many of you have had relationship trouble in the past. I got some brilliant advice from Dear Cupid and since then i have been addicted to the site. I went through quite a rough time from my previous relatinship a couple of years ago, but have come back stronger than ever with the help of family and friends. Im not really in that much of a rush to meet anyone at the moment, im a firm believer that we meet our potential perfect partners when we least expect it.

I am a sensitive caring guy and always try to see the good in everything and everyone. From the experience i have gained whether it be relationships or just life in general, it gives me great pleasure to help and pass on information to others.

All the best x

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Is he just looking for fun online?

Q.   I have recently become friendly with a guy who is my plumber. Yes he flirts and admitted that he likes the bigger bust. He has sent me a photo when he was drunk of his body with permisson and we have chatted from time to time and he has said that ...

A.   3 May 2019: To many alarm bells ringing with this guy im sorry to say. I would advise blocking contact with this guy, and find yourself a new plumber while your at it. trade's persons should not be using their proffesions to crack on with people, its just wron... (read in full...)

I'd like to be more than friend's ... and am debating whether to send a fb request

Q.   So I’m wondering when it’s appropriate to add someone on Facebook. I’ve had a crush on a girl for a while but I haven’t really got the guts to talk to her, we’ve spoken briefly but it’s in her work and I think it’s inappropriate to flirt with ...

A.   13 April 2019: I would refrain from adding her on social media just yet until you have got to know her a bit better. Getting to know someone is gradual process, talk to her and be friendly and find out abit more about her each time. After a while you will kno... (read in full...)

I broke up with my violent boyfriend, he wants the ring back but I paid for it!

Q.   I have just broken up with my boyfriend of twenty years due to his violent behaviour. the thing is he says he wants the ring he bought me back which is expensive but I feel like in all fairness I have paid for the ring as I gave the cost of the ring ...

A.   21 February 2019: I think it is selfish of him to want it back, espessially in light of what he has put you through over the years. Cut all contact with with, delete him off of everything and move on with your life, and keep the ring. If he keeps persuing you and ... (read in full...)

He's not as into me as I am into him. What now?

Q.   i probably know what i should do but id still like some advice. I have been 'dating' a guy for 4 month we dont always get to see each other every week due to work and other commitments. We spend time at each others places but we had a massive talk ...

A.   7 February 2019: I know its hard because you have feelings for him, but you have to forget about him and move on. He has already said that he does not see a future with you, that alone should be enough for you to leave this relationship. The longer you stick around ... (read in full...)

Should I send my crush a Valentine’s card?

Q.   hey everyone, i consider myself a shy-ish person and so talking about any of my crushes is a bit difficult for me. no one has ever known who i've liked or do like. i am trying to open up. anyways, there's someone i like currently, let's ...

A.   7 February 2019: I would just take the bull by the horns and send J a valentines card, go for it, what have you got to lose. Your school is already doing a project led by students to send valentines cards around so its not like you will be the only one doing it. ... (read in full...)

Why does he act this way?

Q.   There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...

A.   27 January 2019: I agree with the other posts, possible he has got a girlfriend. I would advise to stop pursuing him and just concentrate on your job. Getting involved with someone that you work with is never really a good idea. Its all ok while things are goin... (read in full...)

I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 years because he wouldn't commit but now I'm feeling very down

Q.   I’m feeling really lonely and fed up since splitting from my boyfriend 6 weeks ago. We were together for 8 years. Basically I split from him because I know he will never commit to me and I got tired of waiting. In the end I felt like i’d fallen ...

A.   18 January 2019: I know its hard, no break up is ever easy. You need to stop checking your phone and feeling disappointed that he has not contacted you. I would advise blocking him and move on with your life. I know it does not feel like it now but things will get ... (read in full...)

He knows I like him but went on a date with someone else. Is that a sure sign he doesn't care for me like I do for him?

Q.   Hi, So there's this guy that I work with who I have a crush on. He knows i like him actually but i dont know how he feels. Anyway we talk a lot at work and have started talking outside of work too. Well he told me today how he went on a date this...

A.   28 November 2018: How does he know how you feel?. Have you actually told him personally that you have feeling's for him?. If you have then honestly that changes everything. Knowing your feelings towards him i think that was wrong to tell you about about a date he h... (read in full...)

I married the man I was having an affair with and I am struggling with trust issues, and feeling anxious and worried everyday he will cheat on me.

Q.   My husband left his former wife to marry me. I know that it does not usually end up this way and that we are in the minority but we fell in love. We have been together almost 5 years. He dissolved his marriage after 3 years of our being together and ...

A.   26 November 2018: If there is no trust in a relationship then you might as well call it doomed. I would say that trust is one of the biggest contributing factors that make a relationship work. You don't trust him, and the reason you don't trust him is because you ... (read in full...)

"Hello my friend" Who would you send that text to?

Q.   Who would be the type of person you would send a text to starting with the words 'Hello my friend'. Would you send it to an old friend, a general acquaintance, a customer or another person....

A.   26 November 2018: Personally i would not really use this terminology. But i guess you could send it to various people really, maybe a old friend that you have not seen in years. Maybe someone you worked with for years but is now retired. ... (read in full...)

The guy I'm dating isn't feeling well I don't want to overwhelm him

Q.   I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks. It’s been going very well other than the past month he’s not felt good. He never gets sick, and when he does it’s for a few days. He has been to the doctor 3 times and it has not seemed to help. He’s obviously ...

A.   26 November 2018: I think you have done the right thing showing him you care, i guess there is nothing more off puting than being under the weather and someone keep calling or texting because you haven't replied to them. I think some token gestures just to let him ... (read in full...)

I’m crazy in love with my best friend!

Q.   Ok so here’s the thing, I’m like crazy in love with my best friend right but I don’t know if he likes or loves me back and I don’t want to ruin the friendship and I don’t think I can stop loving him what should I do?...

A.   25 November 2018: I would play it cool and don't rush into anything too soon, like declaring your feelings, if you do you could jeopardise your best friend relationship. Just keep doing what you are doing, being best friends, keep being natural, normal. If there are ... (read in full...)

Should I ask her to wear leather to bed to spice things up?

Q.   Hi, this is quite a awkward question but I wondered if anyone else has had something similar. I want to spice up me and my girlfriends sex life. I have a bit of a fetish for girls in leather boots and gloves. My girlfriend is by far not someone ...

A.   25 November 2018: i don't think its that bad, its only a pair of leather boots, and a pair of gloves,nothing to outrageous is it. Maybe the key to this is how and when you ask, timing is key here, like if you asked her while you were both sitting down to brea... (read in full...)

What could be going on with this guy?

Q.   So last year I was meeting this guy for a while (about 2 months) and to my shock he told me that he was going to prison. He had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd something to do with drugs and he got sentenced. We agreed to not talk whilst he’s ...

A.   23 November 2018: I can only imagine that this guy has not had the easiest of times over the last 14 months and needs some space and time to get himself back together. I think at this point the last thing he needs is someome on his case that he has not responded to ... (read in full...)

Any chance an ex might reach out after 5 months?

Q.   Sorry for the long post, I am hoping that by writing all this down it will be a bit cathartic and you guys might be able to give me a bit of a support. Basically back at the beginning of January I met a slightly older woman and we kind of hit it o...

A.   23 November 2018: I think deleting and blocking her from social media, then abit down the line trying to get in contact again, think you should have left it there rather than endure more turmoil. As i said, i think you did the right thing in not replying to her, and ... (read in full...)

Any chance an ex might reach out after 5 months?

Q.   Sorry for the long post, I am hoping that by writing all this down it will be a bit cathartic and you guys might be able to give me a bit of a support. Basically back at the beginning of January I met a slightly older woman and we kind of hit it o...

A.   22 November 2018: I think that the outcome of this is the best scenario that could have happened. Its been five months, so emotional feelings for her should now be dissipating. Im not going to go into the ins and out of what you should or should not have done, to ... (read in full...)

Why did she block me when she said I could contact her?

Q.   a female from school who I knew, bumped into me in the street. I don’t know if this was on purpose or if she was trying to get my attention. anyway we had a coffee and spoke for an hour and just had a catch up. all seemed good, she told me she was ...

A.   22 November 2018: It does seem a little odd, i would not go so far as to say she is damaged. Maybe its a glitch in facebook. Maybe she does not realise its on that setting. Who knows, personally i would good with good old fashioned exchanging phone numbers, you know... (read in full...)

How do I stop thinking that my boyfriend's ex wife was the love of his life even though he says otherwise?

Q.   Hi, probably seems silly but I have an amazing boyfriend who I know loves me and vice versa but many years ago when he was only 20 he met and married someone. He tells me he was young and silly, didn't love her age regrets the years he wasted ...

A.   20 November 2018: I fail to see why you would be thinking about this, and why it affects you so much. He has already said he was young and silly, never loved her, and regrets the years he wasted with her, and she cheated on him. This should be enough for you to cast ... (read in full...)

My insecure girlfriend hacked into my social media to spy on me and I don't feel good about our relationship now

Q.   My girlfriend recently opened up that she has trust issues and that she hacked into my instagram just to spy on me. She felt so because I have more female friends compared to men, but the thing is this has been the case with me since childhood. She ...

A.   20 November 2018: She has got to get over these trust issues, you can't go on like this, espessially with you work and your health being affected. One of the most important thing in a relationship, the thing that binds a couple together is trust. If there is no trus... (read in full...)

He has been texting someone he met in a dating site

Q.   I've been with my Other Half (OH) for 2 years and have really felt as though he is the one. I've trusted him completely and yet the other day, when I silenced an alarm on his phone, I see Facebook messages between him and another woman that he ...

A.   19 November 2018: You have recieved great advice from other people on this, so basically you know in your heart of hearts what you need to do. I would advise ending this relationship sooner rather than later, i feel the longer you leave it the harder it will beco... (read in full...)

Been out a few times but I got Cancelled on, was this the right response?

Q.   As the title said, we've been out a few times already. Hasn't really been much of a spark but it seems like given time it could go somewhere. However this last time I asked her out I was cancelled on, not last minute but still cancelled on ...

A.   19 November 2018: I agree with all the good advice from the other posts, you did the right thing and you certainly not a quitter. You have said do something another time and that fine, as you say the ball is in her court. But you say that you might try again at some... (read in full...)

He watches porn before having sex with me

Q.   Hi I’m in a 5 year relationship I am in a very awkward situation I don’t want sex with my partner anymore over this past year I found out he watches porn before we have sex he’s been sleeping in the spare room for 9 months and I don’t know why he ...

A.   19 November 2018: I think that things need to be sorted out now rather than later, the longer that you leave it the harder it will become. This relationship is not going anywhere, and unless he makes some rather drastic changes, which i don't think he is any time... (read in full...)

My boyfriend throw my things away without even asking me!

Q.   My boyfriend keeps throwing my things away without asking me or, worse, even after I have told him not to. We live in a relatively small flat and don’t have a lot of space so he thinks it’s ok to just throw things away that he thinks are taking up ...

A.   16 November 2018: he sounds like like he has got some form of OCD. I mean the the laundry basket, seriously!!! that is obviously needed to put washing in after a wash, so now you have nothing to put it in, im sorry but that dosen't make any sense atal. As for your... (read in full...)

Was dirty sexual encounter a deal breaker?

Q.   I met this older more top man online. We had a coffee and we decided to play around in his hotel room. He was nice and friendly but no sooner had he lain on the bed than I saw the bedcover smeared with shit from his rear - even though he had at ...

A.   16 November 2018: Well i'M not gay, but i guess the same applies to whether you are gay or straight. I think what you have said is really off putting, i mean seriously!!!! Im suprised you even got as far as having sex. I think i would have about turned and walk... (read in full...)

Why is my coworker acting hot and cold?

Q.   There is a male co-worker, "John", that works in another department. When I first started, I thought that he was cute and funny. He seemed kind of shy and wouldn't talk to me when we were alone, only when other people were around. One time he came ...

A.   16 November 2018: sounds to me as if this guy is crushing on you and is scared to talk to you. You have not done anything to upset him, you have not fallen out with him, so i'm guessing the only reason for this behaviour is he fancies you. We have all crushed on some... (read in full...)

I'm 22 and she's 35 should I continue the relationship?

Q.   I met an amazing woman the other day. I've already gone out with her a couple of times and we've even had sex. The only thing is that she's 35 and I'm 22. She also has a 10 year old boy. I've tried to talk myself out of this a million times, but ...

A.   15 November 2018: At the end of the day age is only a number, provided of course it all falls in the legal age of censent bracket. People have made relationships work with age gaps far greater than 13 years. I think if you both get along and a romantic conn... (read in full...)

How can I learn to cook? Should I go to a male friend's house to learn?

Q.   unfortunately I have no idea how to cook and im not sure of how to even start or what to begin with . Im 22 and I think its rather embarrassing that I don't know how to cook , im not over reliant on my parents but I am in terms of meals and I just ...

A.   15 November 2018: There are many places to learn to cook now days, probally the most easy way to obtain a recipe would be online. Think of a dish that you want to know how to make, for instance shephards pie. There are many variations to this dish, but you could ... (read in full...)

Should I go back, I just miss him!

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for a year nearby and I've been apart from him for a year in a long distance relationship since I've been away from him I can't think straight I just miss him and think of him everyday I've never really felt like this and ...

A.   14 November 2018: If you can't sleep, or function well day to day without him, then i think in your heart of hearts you already know what you should do. Good luck... (read in full...)

She lied, is this a red flag or is it too early in the relationship for me too care.

Q.   I went on a date with a girl, it was great and we've been chatting a lot since. She asked to meet me again in a few days. The first date was friday. The second date will be the following tuesday. However, i have found out she has lied to me about...

A.   14 November 2018: Like some of the other posts mention, i'm intrigued by how you know that she even did this. Im guessing you found out on some sort of post on social media. However you found out is besides the point really, you guy's have only had one date, so... (read in full...)

He's extremely possessive and mentally abusive but I still love him. Advice please!!

Q.   Hi. I am new to this so very nervous. I really need some advice about my partner. I have been with him for just over a year and I feel like I can't do anything right. He mentally abuses me constantly..well this is what I'm guessing it is?! He will ...

A.   13 November 2018: I can't see anything changing anytime soon, and i don't think he will ever change either. I thnk that you need to find the courage and leave this relationship, i feel the longer you leave it the harder it will become. I know its a daunting pros... (read in full...)

He literally flipped in 8 hours! Is he blowing me off?

Q.   Is he blowing me off? I've been friends with this guy for years. We talk daily and have recently decided to take things to the next level since we are both finally single at the same time. Plus, he always lived about 6 hours away and now hes only a ...

A.   13 November 2018: Its good that you have decided to take things to the next level. He sounds like he has got a lot on his plate at the moment, having to have a dog put down, combined with family issues. Maybe he is being respectful that it is early on in your ... (read in full...)

I don’t know if I should date my coworker!

Q.   UI think I know the answer to this, but I’m looking for someone to confirm that I’m doing the right thing. I’ve been in my current job for a year, and have sat right next to a man who is around my age. He’s not my normal type physically, but ...

A.   13 November 2018: I agree with the other posts. Dating a co-worker is not the best idea. I guess its ok when things are going good, but should things take a turn for the worse it can be a most unpleasant situation. Not only for the both of you having to see each ... (read in full...)

I'm ok with my sexless relationship but my friends think it's weird

Q.   Hi there , I have been with my partner a year and a half yet in all that time we have only had sex 10 times we cuddle kiss hold hands but nothing more he was honest from the start and said he wasn't very sexual, this is ok with me however my friends ...

A.   31 March 2017: I agree with the other posts. If you are both happy then that's all that matters. It is quite a delicate subject that should be only between a couple. I feel things like this should not be discussed with friends.... (read in full...)

Feeling low in my life and I have no friends to share my problems or to spend time with..

Q.   Everyone always says it hard to keep in touch with friends from school. And they are right.. I left school with a group of 6-10 friends... and now I hardly talk to any of them. We all parted different ways to live our own lives in the direction we...

A.   31 March 2017: I think that's normal really- I lost contact with a lot of people I went to school with, although I am still in contact with a couple of friends its not that often we see each other. I think that after you have finished school you tend to meet peop... (read in full...)

I gave a guy my phone number but I'm not really interested in him. What should I do?

Q.   I went out on Monday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys whom I didn't know asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at al...

A.   21 August 2013: No i would not ignore him, maybe meet for a coffee with him as this would be a good chance to say to him that you only see him as a friend and nothing else, if you get it out in the open early on he will know where he stands and will not build up ... (read in full...)

If a girl at work or serving at a shop that I frequent tells me "I am so bored", would you think that is a signal of interest?

Q.   If a girl at work or serving at a shop that I frequent tells me "I am so bored", would you think that is a signal of interest? I have had one or two telling me they are bored, and we should get together, to take away the boredom. I realise the la...

A.   21 August 2013: i hear alot of girls at my work saying they are bored, so i would say it does not mean an awful lot. However if they are saying to you we should get together to take away the boredom then you can take this as a sign of interest. Bit like saying do ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my classmate! Should I ask her out on a date then confess my feelings? Or text her my feelings right after exams?

Q.   I need help... I think I've fallen in love with my classmate after a texting her a month ago. At first, everything started fine and normal, I always treated her as a classmate and friend. But my feelings builds up when we texting each other more ...

A.   17 August 2013: It sounds like you really like her, I can relate to the feelings you are having. I think the worst thing you can do is to rush things and risk scaring her off. A couple of months ago I met a girl in a class that I do, one day after we got chatting. ... (read in full...)

I'm freaked out by my boyfriend telling me he loves me after one week together. Should I take a break from him?

Q.   ok I have recently acquired a new boyfriend, he's really sweet and nerdy like me but we have only been going out a week and have only actually met up about five times. and then today he told me he loved me! I didn't respond I just said "see you ...

A.   15 August 2013: I think that saying i love you after just one week is somewhat early, and a little keen to be honest. It sounds like you are not ready for a relationship right now so i feel your best option is just to be brutally honest and tell him how you feel. ... (read in full...)

How do you know if you're really over someone and not just trying to replace them with someone else?

Q.   Hey there, my boyfriend broke up with me one month ago, leaving me here to spend the whole summer alone or - even worse - with my parents. Now, here's the situation: this October I'm gonna start university, and - as many friends of mine told me ...

A.   15 August 2013: Depending on how long the pair of you were together and how serious the relationship was, maybe a month, maybe two to be completely free of your previous relationship. Of course no two situations are the same and everyone heals or gets over things ... (read in full...)

Why am I so jealous all of a sudden?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am loved a lot by the man I am with. He would never cheat or hit me. We love each other to death and have been together for a long time now. Knowing that he won't cheat I always get so scared and jealous when he is around other gir...

A.   15 August 2013: He has been with you all this time, you both love each other very much, and you say he is not the cheating type. It sounds like he is a really nice guy and he only has eyes for you. You have got to accept that no matter who we are we all have a ... (read in full...)

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