How can I break this impass on marital strife?
Q. I've been with my wife for 12 years. We've been going through a bit of a tough patch lately, but I don't think it's something that we can't work our way through. Now, please don't think that I am claiming to be perfect - I have problems that I need ...
A. 28 June 2017: I think one of the problems in a relationship is often it is easier to see the issues with the other person, rather than yourself. I can tell that you and your wife are different people. She seems like she might be quite socially awkward and pref... (read in full...)
We had sex nothing came of it but how do I act around him now?
Q. About six months ago, I had sex with one of my close friends. It was pretty obvious that we both liked each other but nothing ever came from it. A couple weeks ago, we started talking again and we spent the night with each other a few times but ...
A. 28 June 2017: It sounds like you are both interested in each other. However at the moment what you have is a very casual relationship and you both need to decide where you want this to go. You are dancing around the real questions about how much you like one... (read in full...)
He wants to record us having oral sex and then send it to a friend?
Q. Been seeing a guy right, everything was great.. Until he asked me a few days ago to let him record himself giving me "oral" in the not so usual place..to send to his guy friend! Is this relationship between them normal? Do guys do this with their ...
A. 28 June 2017: No, no, no, definitely do not agree to this! You are clearly uncomfortable with the idea and that is why you have come to dearcupid to talk about the issue - this kind of behaviour is not normal! If this guy respected you he would not expect y... (read in full...)
Breaking up is hard to do, how do I know if I made the right decision?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. We had been together for nearly 2 years, everything up until a few months ago was great, I'm not really sure what happened but recently we've been having communication problems and i wasn't sure things could ...
A. 3 March 2016: Hi there! I feel very suited to answer this question and I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and have been for almost two years (two years in April) so I feel like I can help you out :) Personally, I think you know when a relationship is over.... (read in full...)
He lied about his drug use in the past, but then was upset that I needed time to deal with my anger about his lying. Shouldn't we take some time to calm down when we are angry?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, having a little problem in my relationship and I always find the advice here helpful. Recently I found out that my boyfriend used to do drugs. When we were going out, he did not tell me about his drug history. I specifically ...
A. 2 March 2016: Hi there! I can understand why you are hurt over why your boyfriend lied to you, but think of it this way - you said you wouldn't have got involved whatsoever with someone who did drugs, and he could probably sense this too. And he thought,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't call me every morning!
Q. My bf doesn't call me ever morning... I m the only who cals him remind him about me...?? What should I do ...
A. 3 February 2016: He might not realise that you want him to call you every morning - when it comes to boyfriends, they often don't realise this.
Just tell him you'd like him to call yo in the morning and if he doesn't want to do that, then either accept that you won'... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend trust me?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now.We communicate well with each other and always have fun together. However, whenever I talk about my friends (which are mostly male) he'll start to get jealous. I bring up a simple topic like ...
A. 3 February 2016: You're right. He doesn't trust you. But that's not your problem, it's his! He's clearly insecure and feels threatened by almost every guy you speak to, but don't feel like this is your fault. Guys who need to continuously check up on their girlfrie... (read in full...)
He said he wanted to try again and put effort into the relationship but the last 2 days things have felt funny
Q. So, I got a text and DM (direct message) from a guy last Sunday or Monday asking for another chance because we talked and dated before but we rushed into it last time. This time I told him I wanted to take it slower and I would have to build his ...
A. 2 February 2016: I think the thing you need to ask yourself is what do you want from this relationship? Because you said at the beginning of your post that you 'rushed' things last time, but now you're saying that you don't like that he isn't giving you maybe as... (read in full...)
How do I dump my online match?
Q. I matched with a guy on Tinder and we started talking. He was really nice and our personalities clicked. But when we met in person there was no sexual attraction. Also, the fact that he's 31 and has never had a relationship longer than 1 month kinda ...
A. 29 January 2016: It's fine for you to not be into this guy, but I think you have to tell him!
Like Honeypie said, it's kind of in bad taste to just sort of ignore someone until they leave you alone (I've actually had this happen to me once and it was so emba... (read in full...)
I think I might have texted myself deep in the friend zone!
Q. I was out of state for new years' and I met this guy. We hit it off, exchanged numbers, but then i had to return home before we could hang out again. We texted sporadically at first, but for 2 weeks now we've texted every single day for hours on ...
A. 29 January 2016: Okay so I definitely don't think you've shot yourself in the foot so far! But what I would say is, you've just met this guy and things are flirty and fun (the nudes, the talking about sexual preferences etc) so to him he's probably thinking, yeah ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my boyfriend's gaming female friend
Q. My bf follows a lot of cosplayers/models on social media. A lot of the time, he usually has a picture of one set as his phone or computer background, which he changes pretty regularly. This never really bothered me until now. One of the things he...
A. 27 January 2016: To me this does sound a bit suspicious, giving her money? How close are they? Have they been friends for a long time, and would this make sense? I've never met anyone over the internet who I would be willing to actually give money to, even if I was ... (read in full...)
She lied to me. Should I feel betrayed? First she claimed to be a virgin. Later she said otherwise..
Q. Dear all Basically my girlfriend of about 9 months has always told me she is a virgin. that when we have sex it will be her first time. However, she has recently told me that she has had sex with more than 1 previous boyfriend, but said that...
A. 25 January 2016: To be honest, I know some people wouldn't agree with me, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. OF COURSE, it does suck to be lied to, and you have every right to feel betrayed by her. But what I'm saying is I know lots of friends who have... (read in full...)
Is this the person she will always be? She hit me
Q. My girlfriend and I were studying together in an empty classroom when she decided she was cold and wanted to do jumping jacks to warm up but said it would be too embarrassing. I said: it's not embarrassing and nobody is here but me so who cares. I...
A. 25 January 2016: Hmm she doesn't sound too good a partner for you.
She's definitely needy and immature, hitting you because you rolled your eyes? That's what I used to do to my brothers when I was 8.
And the fact that she started crying when you got angry also sho... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he has too much invested in me. What does this mean?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We were talking the other day. Some what if's type of conversation. I asked him if he would ever leave me or leave me for someone else and he said he has everything he wants and needs fr...
A. 25 January 2016: I think he means emotionally he has too much invested in you. He's been with you for a long time and couldn't leave you is basically what he is saying.
I would just say don't worry about it, he was just assuring you basically that he wouldn't leav... (read in full...)
It happened once, why cant it happen again?
Q. Hello. So every weekend, I go over to my partner's house and we do it. Recently I had my first "orgasm"-- well that's what he said happened. A bunch of stuff just gushed out and I pushed him out of me. That new feeling happened so quick it was hard ...
A. 25 January 2016: What was the liquid like that came out? If it was watery then that can be discharged by some women during sex, so that's pretty normal, especially when climaxing.
As for why the sensation fades, are you sure you don't reach orgasm in those inst... (read in full...)
Does my ex boyfriend want me back or is he just playing games?
Q. So my ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he believed I deserved better and he needed to get his life together. However, according to his friends I was clingy and had trust issues, which weren't fully true. He wasn't being fully ...
A. 6 January 2016: This guy is definitely playing games! He probably expected that after the breakup you would be the one texting and calling him all the time trying to win him back. However, you took none of his BS and stayed away, attempting to move on. Don't let... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to touch my breasts. Is this wrong?
Q. okay so hi, my boyfriend and i have been dating for like 4 months now, we are in our teens. anyway, we love each other very much, i wanted to ask if it would be wrong to let him touch my breasts and not just like on top of the shirt, actually ...
A. 3 January 2016: How old are you? The info says 13-15, if you're 13 I think you may be a bit too young!
I didn't do this with any boy until I was 16, which was okay, but at 13 I think you are vulnerable to be manipulated.
Much like the anonymous writer posted, ... (read in full...)
I have trust issues but my boyfriend won't fight for me!
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because of my anxiety and trust issue problems. It's all spiralled out of control.. We've been together for 2 years and lived together until this morning when he told me to pack my bags and leave! I have trust issues ...
A. 3 January 2016: Personally I think if you're boyfriend couldn't be with you purely because of your anxiety and trust issues he would have ended the relationship way before when he has. 2 years is a long time and I think that if it was that much of a deal to him he ... (read in full...)
Are we just friens after spending the night together?
Q. Me and this guy became friends a few months ago. Neither of us have ever showed interest in being more than friends verbally. He has made statements explicitly saying we are just friends. However lately when we hang out we end up cuddling, spending ...
A. 3 January 2016: To me it sounds like you're both playing with the idea of being more than just friends. When you first met each other maybe the attraction wasn't initially there which is why he asserted that you were just friends so many times, but now he's got to ... (read in full...)
I think I could come to terms with my boyfriend cheating on me if only he would be honest
Q. I have been with my partner for a year now. Our relationship is perfect all but one thing. I think he cheated on me. Inside I know he did but he keeps denying it. Me and him went out one night to a rave and he had taken drugs, he disappeared an...
A. 1 January 2016: If it were down to me, I'd just leave him. You two together do not seem like a healthy couple. You encourage each other to do drugs and go to raves (I assume illegal raves). I'm not judging you, everyone has their own demons (I definitely do) but I ... (read in full...)
I'm hiding from my parents that I have been dating a boy for a year
Q. Helloooo, I came here to seek for some advice.. And I hope nobody judges me about what I'm about to tell you all. I'm turning 17 at the end of this month and well I've had a boyfriend since I was 15. I'm still with this boy and he's been really...
A. 1 January 2016: You should tell your parents, but maybe don't tell them everything.
Definitely don't tell them you have had sex with your boyfriend, and don't tell them you've been hiding this from them for so long.
Maybe say it's been going on for a couple o... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stopped speaking and I don't know why
Q. Hi everyone. I dont know what to say to my boyfriend he hasnt spoken to me all week, We've been together 6 months ,we dont live together and had no problems before he went silent on me. Ive asked him if theres a problem but he hasnt replied. I didnt ...
A. 1 January 2016: Your boyfriends behaviour is strange, but I just have one question for you? I don't want to seem like I'm assuming anything, tell me if I'm completely wrong! But has he any reason to be angry at you? E.g. flirtatious messages to other men on your ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt and feel disrespected because of the way my husband kept looking at a woman all night
Q. Went out new years eve to a hotel party. The hotel asked when we booked a while back if we minded sitting with other people, we said thats ok as we were by ourselves just hubby and me. Found that we were sitting with other couples and there ...
A. 1 January 2016: No offence to the other guy who posted his opinion about you trying to seduce your husband and bring his attention back to you in order to win the 'contest' but to me that is a load of BS.
If I was out with my boyfriend and he spent the whole nigh... (read in full...)
Is my trainer at my group fitness class flirting with me?
Q. I am not sure if a trainer at my group fitness class is flirting with me. He calls me out several times teasing me in front of the class about my technique. One class it was so bad and obvious I guess, that a couple of the guys in the class fe...
A. 31 December 2015: Yes he is interested in you. The approach he is taking, however, to show his interest, is far from desirable. He's being a bit of an idiot, you know the old "if a boy is mean to you he likes you" thing you heard when you were little and a boy teased ... (read in full...)
Would it be vindictive to tell the wife that her husband is having an affair with my mother?
Q. This may seem like I'm being vindictive so I'd like to explain a bit of history behind my query... My mother is a toxic woman- my sister and I were mentally and physically abused by her as children leading us both to suffer with anxiety issues. ...
A. 30 December 2015: Unfortunately it's not your secret to tell and it is clear you're not just doing this for the sake of the man's wife and child so no, I don't think you should tell her, you don't have the right. Sorry.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 30 December 2015: Thanks for all the replies everyone. I won't be seeing his brother now for at least 4 months so I'm just going to see what happens and not make any moves myself, unless I'm forced to. Thanks for all the help, I'll keep you all updated :)... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 30 December 2015: Again thanks to Abella and Songw1ter for the replies! So songw1ter, what do you think I should too? If he has changed?
And Abella, the thing is things have been pretty rocky recently with me and my BF. I caught him talking/flirting with another girl... (read in full...)
My boyfriend breaks up then texts me, wants to have sex and then blows me off!
Q. So my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me almost a month ago because he believed a relationship was not his best interest and I deserved better but still wanted us to be friends. It was a very emotional break up for the both of us. However, ...
A. 30 December 2015: In the relationship, who would you say 'wore the pants'? Like was he more in control or you? To me it sounds like this guy loved having you around to remind him how awesome he was that someone was interested in him. He probably took you for granted ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 29 December 2015: Thanks to Abella and songwr1ter for your thoughts! His brother doesn't have a GF no and I see what you mean Abella about how he could be doing something really sinister. I just don't know whether he could be so horrible. I know he was before but I ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 29 December 2015: To the anon, I told my boyfriend about the whole embarrassing undressing scenario and he laughed and said that it was just like he had seen me in a bikini so it wasn't that weird, I think he was trying to stop me feeling so embarrassed though. I ... (read in full...)
I trust him but I don't trust his really attractive female friend
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship and although we've not been together for very long i love him,but i feel myself getting jealous of other girls already. It all started when he told me about his "good friend", that's like a sister to him. At the time i d...
A. 29 December 2015: I would tell him about how you feel. He'll understand if you don't accuse him of anything but just say that it makes you uncomfortable with how friendly they are.
To be honest, I doubt that she is after your boyfriend or anything like that beca... (read in full...)
Where do I stand in this? FWB but I get no respect and he insults me.
Q. Im a first year student who has got into a friends with benefits relationship with a guy who doesn't respect me. We had drunken sex in the first couple of weeks of university a few times, we then didn't see each other for a while but now it has s...
A. 29 December 2015: This guy sounds horrible! Definitely end whatever it is you have with him and find someone who is way better for you! I'm a first year student too so we both know how many other nice guys there are who would love to spend time with you, it seems ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 29 December 2015: Thanks for the answer Denizen! So you think that he is purposefully showing an interest in me? And not just being friendly? I am attracted to him but I don't think I could act on it and do that to my current boyfriend. I'm so confused.... (read in full...)
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