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*i_the_tree

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How do I know if I'm having an orgasm during sex? And why is it so difficult for my boyfriend to give me a clitoral orgasm?

Q.   Hey! This is a really kind of an intimate question. But I was wondering what female orgasms feel like? I'm sexually active with my boyfriend of 1 year. Masturbating by myself, I find I experience this very intense kind of orgasm that cons...

A.   12 June 2014: I think it's just a case of keep experimenting. maybe have him stimulate you orally, and use a toy for penetration? or the opposite? It may take some time, but you know what you like when you masturbate, try and re create what you do to climax when ... (read in full...)

I went into my boyfriend's mail and closed down all of his online dating accounts!

Q.   So my boyfriend of one year has always had dating profiles since he was 13. (He is 21 now). He likes to talk to people though he's never met up with anyone from online since he just simply doesn't believe that something like love could come from ...

A.   11 June 2014: I think you need to come clean and tell him that you closed all his dating website accounts. He may very well be mad, but you did it whilst upset and under the influence of drugs. You need to be able to trust him when he says that he doesn't ever ... (read in full...)

Should I consider breaking up, or am I worrying about nothing?

Q.   I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend for a year. We've had overall a really good relationship, but now I've been having some doubts about whether we're right for each other. I'm posting this question to seek an outside perspective - are these ...

A.   7 June 2014: Think of it this way, you've been with him for nearly a year. Can you see yourself still with him in another 'nearly a year's? I'm in a similar situation, and I think this is an interesting way of looking at your relationship. If you can't see ... (read in full...)

My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online and now her parents are offering to pay for his ticket so he can meet her! I'm scared that he'll never come back!

Q.   Hi Looking for some advice! My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online 4 yrs ago! They have been chatting on fb and Skype since and now he wants to go to America to meet her! Apparently her parents will pay for his ticket!! I have t...

A.   1 June 2014: It's natural to feel worry when it comes to your children, especially being a single mother. However, he is getting to the age where he will want to go and have new experiences. Plenty go to uni, some take a gap year after A-levels. It is important ... (read in full...)

I like my friend's ex but don't want to lose the friendship

Q.   hi everyone so basically i think im starting to like one of my best friends ex's. they have been apart about 4/5 months now but they are both really good friends and me and her have been friends for about a year or so now. However, the oth...

A.   26 May 2014: I guess it can't hurt to let him know that you like her. Just make sure he knows that it's not gonna go any further. He may surprise you and be cool about it, saying that you should date her. Just be honest with him, he'll appreciate it.... (read in full...)

My ex's mum messaged me and I'm not sure if or how I should respond!

Q.   Today my ex's mother has facebook messaged me. It is the first time I have heard from her, and I was relatively close to his family, so am not sure whether to respond or how. The message was nice, she was sorry to hear about us breaking up, she ...

A.   7 May 2014: I don't see anything wrong with it. If his mum wants to contact you then she is well within the rights to do so. My ex's mum messages me occasionally, we don't really talk that much, it's pretty much small talk. If you respect her and got on well ... (read in full...)

He always wants sex

Q.   Okay, so my boyfriend won't stop trying to have sex, we can never stay in a just watch a dvd, he always trys it on, and I tell him no but he will carry on until he gets it, should I say something? Thanks ...

A.   6 May 2014: You tell him to pack it in, or you'll leave him. Simple. No means no...... (read in full...)

Is this age difference morally wrong?

Q.   Big question. Is it morally wrong to date a guy this young? I'm 22 almost 23, seeing a guy who is 17 almost 18. (We live in Texas so he's legal age of consent). He is wonderful to me, spends all his time with me, shows public displays of affection ...

A.   5 May 2014: To Mark1978 - There is a massive variation on defining the exact time that someone becomes an 'adult'. We know very little about this ladies boyfriend, just because he is 17 does that make him naive and immature? When I was 17, i went through ... (read in full...)

My ex and I made each other miserable, but we had a spark I don't feel with my current boyfriend!

Q.   I was completely in love with someone a while back. Person B. It was the first time I had ever fallen for someone, and It was insanely intense. One thing lead to another and we ended it. While we were a rather passionate couple, we made eachothe...

A.   27 March 2014: OP, I have asked a similar question on here regarding this matter, maybe you would like to read it... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-genuinely-thought-i-was-over-my-ex.html I only have a couple of answers, but they both tell me pretty m... (read in full...)

I'm so worried I could not sleep .........

Q.   What is happening? I've still not heard from him:( I'm worried? I spoke to my boyfriend saturday afternoon and he said he was going to take a nap he will ring me when he wakes up. He didn't ring me in the evening, I tried to call him but I ...

A.   24 March 2014: First of all, you need to calm down. Excessive worry is not going to get you anywhere. You need to think about how else you can get in touch with his family members. What about social media? Ask his friends to attempt to get in touch, emails etc. ... (read in full...)

Can't afford to move, and the lack of privacy at home is driving me crazy

Q.   This is a weird question and probably not the type of question you guys usually get but hopefully somebody can maybe give me their opinion on what I can do. I hope this doesn't sound mean but here it goes. I'm 20 years old and live with my fat...

A.   7 March 2014: Have you thought about moving in with some of your friends? Split the bills/rent between 2 or 3 of you, might make it more manageable. If no friends are able to move in with you, then speak to your father, tell him you feel like you have no priva... (read in full...)

Is it normal for females to ban their partners from watching porn?

Q.   Is it normal for females to ban thier partners from watching porn? My girlfriend of one year does not like it if I watch porn. I was not too bothered because she is very attractive to me and sex is really good long sessions, leaving us both hap...

A.   22 February 2014: I think it's down to personal opinion whether a partner watches porn. I couldn't care less if my boyfriend watched it or not. The only thing I don't necessarily agree with is forbidding your partner to do something. I wouldn't ever forbid my fella... (read in full...)

Does having anal sex make me no longer a virgin?

Q.   I pledged not to lose my virginity until marrige but it has been hard with my kind of personality seeing naked guys and me getting wet. All the thoughts about having sex. I have a guy in my house currently and he has been here for over a week. At ...

A.   22 February 2014: Why don't you just marry this guy then you don't have to worry anymore... seeing as you're already having anal sex with him...... (read in full...)

Are my dating rules really too strict?

Q.   Here it goes again:(. My mother just had a conversation with me that I have too many rules when it comes to guys, and that's why I don't have anyone in my life. Some of my friends agree,I am looking for some opinions here. Though I do ha...

A.   27 November 2013: CaringGuy - hit the nail on the head.... (read in full...)

I have a crush on my teacher, told my friend who told her family. Help!

Q.   I can't tell my friends about anything. I told one of my friends about a crush recently.....she told her entire family. My secrets have gone viral. The trouble is, her family know who I am crushing on....they could tell him ANY MINUTE now! I am so ...

A.   15 September 2013: You need to slap yourself in the face, really hard!! STOP LOOKING HIM UP ONLINE, STOP CONTACTING HIS FRIENDS, HE COULD GET INTO A LOT OF TROUBLE AND LOSE HIS JOB!!!! You will get over this, it's a crush, also i think you need to look into finding ... (read in full...)

My mother thinks I should use birth control but I disagree

Q.   Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. ...

A.   15 September 2013: I think you should be taking a secondary form of contraception. No contraception can guarantee a 100% success rate, so it might be a good idea to have a back up. Plus it will put your mothers mind at rest until you are ready to tell her that you are ... (read in full...)

She's practically perfect, but has two kids to two different dads!

Q.   Iam really struggling with this situation. I have been seeing a woman for the past couple of months. She is amazing just what I have been looking for funny, supportive, kind, affectionate. She's an amazing cook. She educated and a working ...

A.   10 August 2013: I think you need a reality check!!! So what if the kids have different fathers, it's not as though people will stare, comment and gesture because it's obvious that you are not their biological father. People have enough going on in their lives to... (read in full...)

How do I put it and keep it in my head and have it locked up in there, that its really over

Q.   I get that he doesn't want me back now. I know it. I keep telling myself that. I know for a fact that its over. I don't understand why I still keeep coming back to him. Its annoying cause I send him this text brigade, text after text after text ...

A.   25 June 2013: If you want something physical that you can do, then try this. I had a similar period of time, wanting an ex back but knowing it was wrong. Basically, take everything you have that reminds you of him or you as a couple (photos, gifts, jeweller... (read in full...)

Is she being practical or shallow? Dumping me for a rich old man? Can our relationship be saved?

Q.   Yeah, I'm a 25 years old guy working as an architect, ambitious and I love what I do. Always recommended by higher managers, you can say that I make good money compared to a new starter, and receiving better job opportunities from other companie...

A.   27 April 2013: she is being shallow. she is basically about to sleep with the boss to get better pay. she may as well be a prostitute! Tell your girlfriend what you've told us about how she is irreplaceable to you, but not to him. I think you should do your bes... (read in full...)

Life Balance. May I have some tips on how to prioritize between my school life and find time to enjoy my passion of helping others?

Q.   Okay. Well I have been off this site for a while, and I am coming back for a little while as I have been overloaded with work! Basically, I am 16, and I have a little bit of a problem. My GCSE's are comin...

A.   22 April 2013: I suggest striking up an agreement with your friends where you have agreed time slots to fit in friends and school work. The important thing with exam revision is to take regular breaks so as not to overload yourself (I'm preparing for university ... (read in full...)

My controlling Aunt wants us to change the date of our wedding. How can I deal with her reaction?

Q.   Recent events have upset me and dare say ruined my wedding ...Please read... My aunt (my dad’s sister) has always been a bit controlling. I remember when I was a child she'd always have tantrums and cause arguments if things didn't go her wa...

A.   21 April 2013: Personally, i would send her a box full of toys with a note saying "now don't go throwing these out of your pram, but I would rather you be in Florida on my wedding day" Some people are so narrow minded it amazes me! There are plenty of people i... (read in full...)

How do I get out of this? I lied and told my friends I wasn't back together with my ex

Q.   Hi Sorry in advance for the long story ... I was with my boyfriend for 5 years when we broke up, it was a mutual break up but when breaking up he did tell me he had been seeing someone else, i was obviously upset, hated him etc, i ofcourse...

A.   27 March 2013: Tough, you have to tell them! If they're true friends then they'll realise you have both grown up and have sorted out your differences. If you lose them, then you know that they aren't really your friends. I had a similar situation. My friends ... (read in full...)

Are online conception date calendars accurate?

Q.   Conception date. Are online conception date calendars accurate? I want to be sure. Can anyone help pls. I had a dating scan and a due date of 26th Sept 2013. With this info i got a conception date of somewhere between 31 Dec - 2nd Jan 2013. Would th...

A.   22 March 2013: I think you should speak to your doctor, they will be able to give you the most accurate information :) Congratulations by the way!... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is ignoring me because I wanted an early night!

Q.   My bf seems to be angry with me and i haven't seen or spoken to him for about 2 days. A few smaller things happened prior but it seems to be because i didn't want him to come back with me to my place on the weekend. It was late, i was extremely ...

A.   18 March 2013: Sounds very childish! I wouldn't even bother reasoning with him. You've apologized on numerous occasions now, don't apologize any more. If i were you, i would play him at his own game, see how he likes it!! But that's just me. If you don't wa... (read in full...)

Should I talk to him about our cuddling while we slept in the same bed?

Q.   I have a friend that I have known for 3 years we almost dated once, but chose to be friends and its made our friendship pretty strong. The other night I was visiting him at his house and he told me I could sleep over if I want. I made the choice to ...

A.   18 March 2013: He sounds like a decent enough friend, just talk to him about it. If he did it in his sleep then he may not be aware that he did it! If it wasn't intentional, then make a bit of a joke out of it, but if he's embarrassed by it, then be prepared to ... (read in full...)

How to accept my gay boyfriend's son

Q.   My "100% gay" boyfriend used to be in a relationship with a woman and had a son with her. How can i accept this child? It's testing me apart that now WE can never have that first child experience. What do i do? And please don't say "get over...

A.   5 March 2013: Why can you never have that experience? Surely in the future you could adopt or have a surrogate mother??? The world won't end because your boyfriend already has a son?? It's not the childs fault is it? So why should the child be punish because ... (read in full...)

Arguments over dinner ingredients resulting in mom not talking to me.

Q.   Hi there, I'm having problems with my mom, she often shout t me for things sometimes I see why others are not so clear. One of the more recent occasions she asked me to vacuum the dining room which I did along with cooking lunch and washing up a...

A.   24 February 2013: The only way to find out why she was so mad is to just ask her... (read in full...)

I Proposed to My Pregnant Girlfriend, She Accepted!

Q.   hi Aunts ahd Uncles... im the man who orginally posted about my pregnant girlfriend. the title was she posts everything on facebook. you all wanted me to come back and prove you wrong. well guess what? my baby BOY is due in june, i proposed to her ...

A.   21 February 2013: Rude much? I am always grateful for the advice i get on here, even if it's something that i don't want to hear. Fingers crossed the baby isn't of another ethnicity, otherwise we'll be hearing from you again... All the best and congratulat... (read in full...)

How do you go about being a stepmother?

Q.   Hello everyone, for the past year I have been in a discreet relationship with a divorced father. We are serious about each other and have decided that it is time to be open about our relationship. I have never met his children, but based on how ...

A.   18 February 2013: There are alot of factors involved. We can't tell you exactly what to do to become a good step mother. How old is he? How old are the children? How long has he been divorced? Do the children still see their mother? I think if the children are... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is so jealous its absolutely crazy!

Q.   Hi!!! Please some one help me. I'm engaged to my girlfriend of 3 years. She's soo jealous it's not even funny. We have had our issues in the past mainly because she's goes crazy when I look at girls. Or a movie with a sex scene in it...not a porno...

A.   14 February 2013: Woah! She sounds all kinds of crazy!!! You need to tell her that you would never cheat on her, but you can't go out wearing a blindfold incase you accidently look at another girl!! She needs a reality check, she is being really unreasonable and... (read in full...)

I don't want to be a fool for taking my ex back but I don't want to abandon him either! I don't know what to do

Q.   My ex and I split from 3 years together because I found out he cheated on me over a year ago (several times) and has been inappropriately messaging other girls ever since. We've been talking since we split, and even hoped to be able to patch things ...

A.   12 February 2013: I used to be in the exact same situation. Falling for all the bullshit over and over again, only to be be hurt weeks after getting back together with the ex. He used to moan too that he had problems, if i had a pound for everytime i screamed... (read in full...)

My friend went out with him and said he was horrible. But then she asked if I'd like his number. Should I be insulted?

Q.   My friend was hooked up with this guy and went on a date with him and it was horrible according to her. I sat and listened for hours as she told me everything horrible about it. At the end of this she asked if i would like to have his number b...

A.   12 February 2013: I don't think you should be insulted. They obviously don't click. She may have had a horrible date with him, but is that necessarily all his fault??? Maybe she should take some blame as to why it was so bad. Point is, IF you went out with hi... (read in full...)

I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?

Q.   This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...

A.   8 February 2013: Give him a gift voucher for a store he likes, that way he can get whatever he likes in there. Maybe make a collage of of two of you, with photos, phrases and little quotes that sum you two up as a more sentimental present. Also, please ask him ... (read in full...)

My supposed friends are spreading rumors about me and a teacher. How do I stop this?

Q.   Im not the type of person to get bullied, i rarely ever do, i can't handle rumors properely, especially if their big ones. These two girls that are supposed to be my 'friends' spread a rumor saying that i like a teacher, and that i've been doing ...

A.   3 February 2013: When they ask you the question again, your reply will always be 'grow up' that way you are not rising to their bullying. The longer you don't react to their bullying, they quicker they will get bored and try it on someone else. The others are right ... (read in full...)

Should I talk to his ex gf? I feel that he is hiding stuff from me?

Q.   My boyfriend who I'v been dating for a few months now seems to be hiding a lot of things,and I think the only woman who would know him inside out would be his ex girlfriend they dated 6 years,is it ok if I talked to her?I know her since we went to ...

A.   1 February 2013: Don't drag the past up! That's what will do the most damage!! If you think he's keeping things from you, then ask him if there is anything he would like to tell you. If he says nothing, then tell him that you don't like someone who is dishonest in a ... (read in full...)

My grandaughter has been taken into care and it looks like neither me or my daughter can have her! What can I do?

Q.   Last year my 6 month old granddaughter got taken into foster care because of a suspected broken rib. Her dad was charged with assault and neglect and my daughter was charged with neglect though I am not sure what is going to happen with the both of ...

A.   28 January 2013: Try and see if you can get supervised access to your grandaughter if you can, at least that way you get to build a relationship with her. Over time, your daughter can arrange for supervised access too. Social services are very particular about wh... (read in full...)

I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?

Q.   I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...

A.   27 January 2013: I have a man like that, except for the female friends, but i know most of his female friends. To be perfectly honest, I think it's slightly unreasonable to dictate how many female friends a guy has. Actually, dictate how many friends he has at a... (read in full...)

Can I make my breasts perky?

Q.   I'm 16 years old, and I hate, hate, hate my boobs. They're cone-shaped and point downward. I'm 36B, and I'm completely healthy. I'm terrified when boyfriends ask to see them. In the past, I've had guy friends accidentally see them, and all th...

A.   23 January 2013: I wouldn't worry about them now, you're still young. Your breasts will change size and shape when you start having children, but don't use that as an excuse to get pregnant!!!! My breasts are quite small i reckon, 34B/36A, however my mum was exac... (read in full...)

Is it normal to still feel some pain whenever I see photos of her and her ex together?

Q.   Hello, I have a girlfriend and she has an ex. During our time of being together, I have already gotten over her relationship with her ex. Now here's my question: Is it normal to still feel some pain whenever I see photos of her and her ex toget...

A.   23 January 2013: Yes, this is very normal, but as you said, you have accepted her past so in time these feelings will go away. Where did you see these pictures? If they are in plain sight then maybe ask her to put them away somewhere so you can't see them. Good ... (read in full...)

Sly nasty Rude obnoxious co-worker who is friends with boss at the top. What's the best way to endure and survive this sneaky bully?

Q.   Please, please give me some advice as I'm at the end of my tether!! Last year at work I had the misfortune of sitting next to a really rude, snappy and belittling colleague.. At first we got on ok but as the months went past her attitude towards...

A.   20 December 2012: Surely your work has a policy on bullying in the workplace? If you're not sure, ask someone who may know where it is! Your manager has a duty to ensure that all employees feel safe, happy and secure in their jobs. your manager is within breach of ... (read in full...)

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