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*taceily

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How would you react to her suspicious behaviour?

Q.   Ok I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible. A few weeks back my girlfriend sent me a nude pic of herself in the shower on WhatsApp messenger, though I appreciated the pic, I told her I don't really like using whatsapp because I ...

A.   3 November 2014: When you confront someone with proof contrary to what they have told you and they flip out, they are lying. My initial reaction from everything else you had mentioned was that she is shady and not being truthful. When you confronted her about ... (read in full...)

Ex wants me back but is still somewhat emotionally unavailable. What gives??

Q.   I was with my ex for about 4 years. We broke up around 4 months ago due to constant fighting. I was nagging and complaining about not being treated very well and as a result he'd push me farther away. The more I tried to work things out, the worse ...

A.   29 October 2014: All I can say is this is who he is. You are trying to make him into something he is not. He doesn't open up or communicate the way you do. By giving this another go you will be repeating the same things all over again. You simply are incompatible. I ... (read in full...)

Should I stay away from her until she's officially divorced? Right now she's separated.

Q.   So, this is a new one for me... There is this girl that I got acquainted with recently. We really hit it off well and have a lot in common. We do seem to connect well on an emotional level and she says that I bring out the best in her and stir ...

A.   28 October 2014: To be overly cautious I will first bring to light the option that she could possibly not be 100% honest. I'm not saying she is lying, I am just saying to be mindful that it happens. Two men that I know got involved with women who were 'separated' ... (read in full...)

My Dad has told me he's disowning me for spending the night with my Bf. Feel incredibly hurt. What can I do?

Q.   I'm sorry if this post is lengthy and/or complicated. I'm 19 years old, and ever since I turned 18, I've been having more and more issues with my dad. My parents are divorced, and are very different from each other. My dad is very overprotecti...

A.   28 October 2014: My father is like your father, and Chi Girl's father. He is extremely controlling, paranoid, abusive, diagnosed with bipolar disorder I believe but no longer takes medicine. Growing up he controlled all of us, I have 3 sisters. Everywhere we went, ... (read in full...)

I resent her, and feel bad about not forgiving her, this time. Is it time to break up with her?

Q.   On Wednesday night I found out my girlfriend had been actively looking for someone on a dating site, after logging into the account I seen she was flirting/dirty talking with this other person, I confronted her the second I found it. We've been...

A.   28 October 2014: I have a feeling you think you NEED to give her another chance because it has been a long relationship and she has begged and promised change and seems to really want to be with you... You seem to be someone who easily feels guilt. Which she plays ... (read in full...)

My ex was friendly but then he sent me a really nasty email and deleted me. Was this the work of his girlfriend?

Q.   Slightly confused tonight. My ex and I broke up about 8months ago and we both have new partners. We kept in touch, but hardly spoke really - when he did speak to me he would try and get me to meet him or would he would speak about how much he ...

A.   26 October 2014: It sounds like it was his girlfriend putting him up to it. If I had to guess, I'd say he mentions you a fair amount or she found some old messages mentioning how he missed sex with you. This made her worry about you and so to prove he feels nothing ... (read in full...)

Should he still be friends with her on Facebook?

Q.   I just found out my boyfriend is friends on Facebook with a girl he had a one night stand with while we were split up for a period last year. It probably shouldn't be a big deal but she just commented on his status and it really bothered me. It gave ...

A.   25 October 2014: I don't find it appropriate to be friends with a woman he had a one night stand with during your break. However, he may not think anything of it or may not realize her being a 'friend' is a big deal since it's just Facebook. I think you should tell ... (read in full...)

Is it shallow to want to break up with someone because they lack intelligence?

Q.   It's is shallow to want to break up with someone because they lack intelligence? I'm having a hard time being in this relationship because my boyfriend's lack of intelligence and common sense. His decision making is poor, and his mental capacity is ...

A.   22 October 2014: You aren't shallow. You aren't compatible with him. You can't date someone who disgusts you and embarrasses you. You have a high level of contempt for him as well and talk very badly about him. You ask if it makes you shallow to feel this way? It ... (read in full...)

Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?

Q.   Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...

A.   21 October 2014: Yeah just as I predicted. He would start telling small half truths but not letting out the whole truth, thinking this would make you start to believe he is honest. And the 'truths' he is telling you are small and meaningless so you won't be too mad. ... (read in full...)

Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?

Q.   Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...

A.   19 October 2014: You want to believe what is he saying, even though it makes no sense at all logically. You are trying to convince your brain that it's true so you won't have to face you are with a liar and you need to leave. Obviously you are scared of losing him ... (read in full...)

He's odd because he's very hot and cold one minute really likes me, the next behaving like an idiot!

Q.   I dont understand guys! I've been doing a bit of online dating, met a guy we went out for a drink, we got on really well but i didnt fancy him at all. He text me a few days later and asked me out on a second date which i agreed to, just to make...

A.   18 October 2014: You say you don't understand. It seems to make perfect sense to me. You weren't keen on him in the beginning. You brushed him off multiple times and then ultimately said you wanted to see other people. So he did. Now you are keen on him but he isn't ... (read in full...)

Can people be in long term stable relationships that they don't realize are wrong for them until a particular passion comes about with someone else?

Q.   Without dragging out too many details, I joined an outdoor activity club over a year ago and met a guy on a weekend away with it, at the time we were both in relationships but after I got home he messaged me just general chit chat and it has ...

A.   18 October 2014: To answer your question, yes. I think people can be in long term relationships and then meet someone else they click better with. However, they would then leave their current partner. This guy has had over a year of knowing you and he still hasn't ... (read in full...)

As an adult do you discuss your sex life with your parents?

Q.   As adults, do you discuss any of the details of your sex life with either (or both) of your parents? Is it normal for a parent to want to know about your sex life? I am 23 years old. I recently started dating a new guy exclusively a few weeks ago,...

A.   16 October 2014: Does your mom have any female friends? It seems like she is desperate for a girlfriend to talk to in my opinion. Maybe she thinks sex discussions are the best way to feel close and like real girlfriends with you. To answer your question, I don't ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be so indecisive when considering ending a relationship?

Q.   Hello all. I'm in the process of trying decide whether I can be happy in my current relationship. When I think about ending things and not being together all I can think about is how amazing he is. When I think about staying in the relation...

A.   16 October 2014: I think this is normal. When ending a relationship, you tend to look back and focus on the good stuff only and see everything through rose colored glasses. You remember the good times and the good things about the person. But when you decide to ... (read in full...)

Why is he contacting me again?

Q.   I met my ex on a dating site about a year ago....we dated for about 4 months and broke up at the beginning of this year because he kept doting over another woman and I became tired of hearing about her. Since then, I have seen him back on the same...

A.   16 October 2014: It seems like he is trying to get in touch with you again in a cutesy way. I don't think this means he likes or dislikes you, not something so serious and defined as that. I think he wants to talk, possibly go out sometime, and he thought messaging ... (read in full...)

I'm very hurt by this comment he made! What does he mean? Is this a brush-off?

Q.   I met my online friend last week which was amazing after being friends for a year. We hit it off and ther was a real connection both of us very attracted to the other. He has messaged me everyday since and we both miss each other so much already....

A.   15 October 2014: He wasn't getting replies from you in a timely matter in his mind. He is very into you. When he wasn't getting replies back from you he started to worry, then he realized how into you he is. Which probably scares the crap out of him. "I hope in ... (read in full...)

I've lost my sex drive and I'm starting to resent him

Q.   My sex drive has completely disappeared but my boyfriend still initiates sex every time I see him. I usually end up having sex (or at least using my mouth or hands) because I feel so awful for not wanting to, but I'm really starting to resent it. I ...

A.   13 October 2014: It will be a tough discussion but one you need to have. You need to sit down and tell him how you feel, all of it. You need to discuss resentment, tell him you feel badly when you turn him down so you are forcing sex. I think the resentment comes ... (read in full...)

This dream has me feeling so hurt! Why would I dream this?

Q.   hi. i had a dream that my boyfriend wants to sleep with his ex girlfriend while in relationship with me.we have been together for about 6 years now. he tells me in the dream that it will be healthy for our relationship to explore in that way and he ...

A.   10 October 2014: Dreams don't have some ominious meaning, it doesn't predict the future or mean anything like this will ever happen. Dreams are whatever is on your mind, your fears and your subconscious. Do you fear he still has feelings for his ex? Are you having ... (read in full...)

I don't think I am that much in love with him. Is it key to a happy marriage to be absolutely in love with your future spouse?

Q.   The story of my life is that never ever a man who I was in love with and adored was in love with me back. Every time something starts and I feel incredibly in love, after awhile an interest in me fades. My boyfriend is a very nice man. He has...

A.   10 October 2014: It sounds like you are justifying staying with him. It also sounds like you are scared and trying to convince yourself that this could be right or love. You seem scared of the alternative, like he is probably the best there is and so leaving him ... (read in full...)

I don't think I am that much in love with him. Is it key to a happy marriage to be absolutely in love with your future spouse?

Q.   The story of my life is that never ever a man who I was in love with and adored was in love with me back. Every time something starts and I feel incredibly in love, after awhile an interest in me fades. My boyfriend is a very nice man. He has...

A.   9 October 2014: The story of your life is identical to my own. I had some passionate relationships, real true love, and they lost interest while I was head over heels still. I met my husband and he loved me. He continued to love me. I never felt that same passion ... (read in full...)

Should I walk away from the impending wedding or just give him another chance? My life is a total mess!

Q.   My fiance and I been arguing a lot lately. We normally argue over the same things over and over again. Such as bills, wedding preps, punctuality and etc. Yesterday, he started to argue with me over my whatapp last seen and accuses me of ch...

A.   3 September 2014: I agree with intrigued3000. I had the same red flags before I got married. I had the sinking feeling I wasn't doing the right thing. We actually got along okay, it was just a feeling that wasn't quite right. I couldn't back out (I thought) because ... (read in full...)

Should I believe him? My heart is saying I'm not ready to give up on us

Q.   My world is in bits. My heart has been ripped out of my chest and my whole body aches. I can't believe I'm here writing this. I found out Thursday my childhood sweetheart (5 years together) and the man I love to pieces has been cheating. He h...

A.   1 September 2014: I really recommend this book for you- I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum. I think it's clear you want to give it a chance. This book helps you to do that. It helps y... (read in full...)

Is it normal that my Bf wants to watch porn when he's getting oral? Leaves me feeling hurt.

Q.   Sorry the Q is a bit long but I need to give you all the details, I really need your help!!! My boyfriend and I have an almost perfect sex life. Last night we came back very drunk from the club and started playing around for fun in order to have...

A.   1 September 2014: I feel terrible for your poor boyfriend. He was having a hard time finishing and so he suggested porn which he thought you were okay with because you had said so. Then he gets reamed for it. As chi girl said, he will have a hard time opening up to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to be a lone traveler!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating about two years now. He has a son with another woman unplanned. I've always known he's wanted to travel the world at some point and I never thought much of it as its something I'd like to do at some point too, not ...

A.   26 August 2014: To play the devil's advocate, it could be that he is going through a rough time lately and is thinking of how nice a life with no responsibilities would be. I don't think it has to mean he is planning to jump ship or that he hates his life even. I ... (read in full...)

Ex was on the verge of cheating and blames me for his indiscretion!

Q.   Hi Aunties and Uncles, I was in a relationship with a man for almost 2 years. I recently broke it off with him because he was texting another women. Nothing horribly inappropriate, but eventually he admitted he was attracted to her and started ...

A.   26 August 2014: I agree with the other aunts completely. As for why he did this, I may have an answer. My ex husband was a lot like this. He could do no wrong ever, his ego wouldn't allow it. One time he was caught in a lie and immediately made it my fault he lied. ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for an aged man to like Barely Legal Porn

Q.   My husband is 56 and his porn preference is the Barely Legal porn. He also likes to have us watch it when we make love. I don't want to be a prude or sound like I come from the Victorian era, but is it normal for a man of that age to want to look ...

A.   24 August 2014: Your husband, not boyfriend. My apologies. ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for an aged man to like Barely Legal Porn

Q.   My husband is 56 and his porn preference is the Barely Legal porn. He also likes to have us watch it when we make love. I don't want to be a prude or sound like I come from the Victorian era, but is it normal for a man of that age to want to look ...

A.   24 August 2014: I have a hard time ever saying what's normal... What I can say is I have never dated a guy who was into younger girls. It must be a thing since it is in porn, but to the point of your boyfriend needing to watch it to have sex and actually looking at ... (read in full...)

How should I tell this woman that the man she loves isn't who he says that he is?

Q.   I am in total shock. I was dating a really wonderful, fun man for 10 months, who was doing important research in the medical field. We saw each other about once a week, and rarely on weekends, as he was always working on grants and papers, trying to ...

A.   22 August 2014: I can't fully answer #1. From the cheating cases that I have seen, they are missing something in their current relationship and the side relationship is fulfilling that missing need. But not enough to leave their current relationship- comfort and ... (read in full...)

I really like him but I don't want to text him again because I don't want to look desperate!

Q.   I saw this guy on my brothers engagement cause he was the photographer. He knew that day I was his sister and he is a really nice guy. He became my friend on Facebook after that but we never spoken. After 2 years he became friends on instagram and I ...

A.   18 August 2014: He did say to text him when a good time for you would be, maybe he is waiting to hear back. Regardless of the reasoning just go for it and text him first. You like the guy, take the initiative. It doesn't make you desperate to be upfront with your ... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend wont pay back money I lent him!

Q.   I recently asked my ex to payback some money he owes me. It's not much (150 dollars) but still, I think it is only fair he pays me back. I know he is strapped on cash and I am doing much better financially, but I don't understand how someone could ...

A.   18 August 2014: Why is he ignoring you? Because he does not intend to pay you back and in his mind ignoring you will eventually make you shut up and go away. He doesn't care what he owes you. And I'm sure you are more upset by his actions regarding the situation ... (read in full...)

Should I give him an ultimatum or just end this situation?

Q.   Long story short...been dating a guy for over 6 months..we used to get together about twice a week but then a month or 2 ago there was a big misunderstanding that made me back off of him for a month. But now we're back to dating, but now we've only ...

A.   17 August 2014: Just have a talk with him. He may not think you want something serious, he may not want something serious. You won't know until you talk to him. Be upfront and honest. Tell him you would like to have an official relationship with him and ask where ... (read in full...)

I haven't had a real relationship since leaving my abusive ex-husband, and after learning I have genital herpes I'm wondering if I should ever try for one at all

Q.   Two and a half years ago I left an almost decade long relationship/marriage to a morbidly jealous psychologically abusive man - he always accused me of cheating, but I never did. I stayed too long, and left at the last minute, before he could suck ...

A.   17 August 2014: Do what feels right for you. You can't plan everything. Just live your life and do what you want to do and what makes you feel comfortable. If you are happy alone right now then be alone. If you are still content alone 5 years from now. That's your ... (read in full...)

Why does he lie about stuff just to get away from me?

Q.   Boyfriend and I have been together a year and 6 months and we live together. How ever every time we fight, or I'm depressed or upset and cry and freak out on him he makes excuses to not be around me. Like today we have been fighting all weekend ...

A.   17 August 2014: You are crying and yelling at him so he wants to leave. I hate to tell you but most boyfriends wouldn't sit and comfort you through that, most would run the other direction. It isn't right of him to lie but you have to put yourself in his shoes. He ... (read in full...)

I want to explore this new girl but don't want to lose something I already have

Q.   Hello readers. I hope you can give me some insight in the hope that I would understand my feelings and know what to do. Firstly I have a gf, been together for 1.5yrs. I don't know if I love her or if I am emotionally attached. She says she loves m...

A.   15 August 2014: I agree with the other posters. I'll add, you are young. You have been with this girl for over a year and can't say you love her. It is doubtful you will end up marrying this girl as you are both young and not sure about love. Why waste any time? Go ... (read in full...)

I did not just expect him to pay for his share only! Is this a sign of cheapness?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for a month and a half. This past weekend we went on a mini weekend trip with another couple. The other couple had bought all the food for the trip and paid for the accommodations and at the end they were going to let us ...

A.   15 August 2014: This guy would not be the one for me. I married a man like this, everything equal and split down the middle. I am traditional and old fashioned, I don't feel I should pay equally for everything. That's not everyone's style and that's fine, but ... (read in full...)

How do I feel more comfortable with my penis size?

Q.   This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lol One issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I fee...

A.   14 August 2014: How to be happy with yourself? Accept and embrace your body. Everyone has something about their body that they don't like. Our "flaws" are much worse in our head, we are our toughest critics. For instance I had a problem with my smaller chest. Very ... (read in full...)

Why do people give mixed signals? I think it's cruel!

Q.   Dear agony aunts/uncles. I'm having a problem with my "love life" at the moment. I've been single for the past few months and meeting people out, having one night stands and I've met a lot of creeps and weirdos online who ended up harassing me. ...

A.   12 August 2014: I agree that he is not giving mixed signals and this is his preferred way to have sex. He said he doesn't want a relationship, so he has actually been quite upfront and honest. I have to add though, I think it's a terrible idea to continue to meet ... (read in full...)

I love her, but she cheated?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and had a casual romantic relationship for several months before that. All in all we have been involved for about a year. Before we became officially a couple, there was a guy that constantly flirted ...

A.   7 August 2014: I think if there is even a possibility to forgive someone for cheating they need to truly be sorry. I don't believe she is sorry at all. Why? Because she isn't telling you the whole story. She won't give a clear answer on your questions about the ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend going to Vegas. Help!

Q.   My 30 year old boyfriend of 6 months was invited by his best friend (he is in a 3 year relationship and looking to get married soon) to Vegas. He asked me how I felt about it, and although it didn't make me happy I told him as long as he doesn't go ...

A.   7 August 2014: No, you aren't the only one who would be bothered by this. But your boyfriend wants to go and you can't stop him. I don't mean he can't stay home, I mean you shouldn't stop him. We don't ever want to feel like we can't do something or we are missing ... (read in full...)

I don't want to block him because he is a nice person but I'm freaking out now because he will take my rejection very badly, how do I handle this?

Q.   I have been chatting to a man online for a few months now, he seemed ok and I would offer him advice as he had mental problems...he has a borderline personality so I did google the illness and realised that people who suffer from that tend to act on ...

A.   7 August 2014: Well if you think he will freak out then you will need to let him down easy rather than be upfront like I would normally suggest. Tell him this is going too fast for you and you want to slow it down, you aren't sure what you want right now. Then ... (read in full...)

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