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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Latest articles:

Just Two

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...

A little humility goes a long way

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...

1234567891011Next > [56 pages, 2185 answers]

How do I overcome my fear of commitment?

Q.   I have been dating my bf for 6 years. He sleeps over at my apartment every night and has a bunch of stuff here, but we live apart. He has been trying to get me to move in for at least three years now, but it is a mental block for me. Almost everyone ...

A.   22 January 2019: Has he ever given you any reasons to be suspicious of him or to doubt his intentions in any way? If not then you must realise that your paranoia will eventually drive your boyfriend away. There are no guarantees in life OP. No one can assure you of ... (read in full...)

I’m going to see my ex, is this a good idea?

Q.   My ex and I broke up a year ago due to him moving, and me being in uni still for the next year. Fast forward a year later, and we reconnected and are still in love with each other. I got a great job here in my city after I graduate in a few months ...

A.   21 January 2019: He's your ex for a reason and in the past for a reason. Let him just be there. You're meeting him, you'll end up having sex, you'll reminisce, the weekend will fly by, you'll come back to your life, feel like shit for stirring old memories... (read in full...)

Is he completely dense? Should we just give up trying to tell him he’s making the biggest mistake of his life?

Q.   Hi guys so firstly this us a follow on from a post at Christmas- thank you all for your excellent advice The situation was a mutual good friend had got himself involved with a girl we all knew was bad news- disrespected him, took money and gene...

A.   21 January 2019: But here's the thing OP. You think you're not interfering but your friend thinks otherwise. He's not dense, he's not stupid, he's just a fool in love. He things the girl can do no wrong and she's probably programmed him to think that you guys are ... (read in full...)

My partner's behaviour towards me has been very questionable ever since he lost his job. What's going on here?

Q.   This is a little uncomfortable to write, I'm not sure if I'm the problem or not. I've been in a relationship for 2 years and up until about 8 months ago it was really care free, relaxed, and just a joy really. Now, however, it's... I don't ...

A.   19 January 2019: OP I'm going to start by telling you to break up with this man immediately because I don't think there is any way of making this relationship work. This is his way of dealing with set-backs? He's an insecure, whiny, cruel asshole who is jealous of ... (read in full...)

Should I delay IVF-treamtment, in order to get married in my dream dress?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married in 6 months. We have been trying for a baby for close to 2 years now. Last year, we underwent a fertility check as we didn't manage to get pregnant. Turns out he's got low sperm quality and I have ...

A.   7 January 2019: Keep trying to get pregnant because you say the marriage is 6 months from now. Assuming you get pregnant in a month or two, you'll be four months pregnant at the time of your wedding and you might still fit into your dream dress. I didnt start to ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this overwhelming friend?

Q.   Hello there, I have this male friend in class. He liked me from the very beginning. Sweet guy but tries too hard to impress, is shallow in his approach to falling in love (may be due to lack of experience). I know for a fact he's smitten from att...

A.   5 January 2019: So far you've been doing everything right. You seem like a mature, level headed young lady. Good for you OP! Now as regards the guy, you've made yourself clear but he's not getting the message so you need to make yourself a little more clear. Tell... (read in full...)

A stranger offered herself to me to help me lose my virginity. Do I accept?

Q.   I will be 20 very soon and am still a virgin. I have tried to date probably more than a hundred women and have always been rejected. I have contemplated visiting an escort but don't want to lose my dignity doing so. Out of a whim I posted an ad o...

A.   3 January 2019: So it's a no win situation? You wanted someone to answer your ad even if you put it out there on a whim. You went ahead to meet the woman who answered it and she was attractive beyond your expectations. So now what do you actually want? Given th... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   29 December 2018: You're going to need every bit of luck that comes your way now that you've decided to go ahead with this. You sound well-meaning but immature. I don't think you're paying heed to anything that the aunts are trying to tell you and you're having a ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   28 December 2018: To be honest, I too would be very skeptical if my brother brought home a girlfriend like yours. What do you want your family to say OP? How exactly do you want them to behave? You can't possibly think they'd chat about the weather! Look you can'... (read in full...)

He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!

Q.   Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...

A.   28 December 2018: He's going to back off? When? Does he have a date set for it? The truth is, it's not going to get better. Right now it's his annoying but tolerable nervous energy but once things get serious, it might just turn to an angry and abusive rela... (read in full...)

My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do

Q.   I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...

A.   24 December 2018: In my culture there's a saying that goes, you can wake someone who's sleeping but you can't ever awaken someone who's pretending to sleep. Your friend knows exactly what is happening and chooses to go along with it. It's his choice. Why are you ... (read in full...)

The gossip has taken all the good that I do and turned me into nothing.

Q.   Hey Cupids, My questions are about moving on after divorce/separation. I met my beautiful lover earlier this year when he was in an unhappy marriage. We started seeing each other but feelings were serious enough that he left his wife after 7 wee...

A.   24 December 2018: Two things here: first, keep in mind that the "other woman" is always looked down upon, no matter what. The man who was part of the affair gets off relatively easily; it's the woman who has to bear the brunt. It's easier blaming the woman and the ... (read in full...)

My friend has been asking why she can't get a partner. Should I tell her what I think?

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles! My friend recently started asking me seriously (up until now it was purely rhetorical) why she can't find a partner. Should I tell her what I think? It's just an opinion, I'm not a shrink. I'm afraid that she migh...

A.   21 December 2018: Stay out of it OP; she's an adult, she knows what she's doing. No one is that naive. If she's choosing the wrong guys then that is her conscious choice. There's not going to be a lightbulb moment for her if you point out her flaws - instead she will ... (read in full...)

I feel overwhelmed with empathy for older folk

Q.   Has any of you felt ever overwhelmed by empathy towards elderly people who are suffering? Ever since I was a kid, I've been helping out elderly people in my neighborhood without being told to do so. I always felt such a strong sadness whene...

A.   17 December 2018: I have had tremendous empathy for the elderly since I was a child. I was very VERY attached to my grandparents and I think it was a reflection of that. I have always felt this way about old people as well as animals which is why I gave up eating ... (read in full...)

Etiquette on footing the bill

Q.   Hi..My question is unrelated to a relationship but who is supposed to pay, and how often, when at a bar. For example, there's this foreign friend of mine working in my city, who I meet with quite often for a drink or so. Unlike him, I'm not into ...

A.   16 December 2018: Each of you should pay for your drinks. Let him pay for his safe entirely and you pay for yours. ... (read in full...)

I'm not happy with my girlfriend and my crush is now single.

Q.   I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for past year and half. Because of her excessive mood swings, things have become difficult for me. I tried talking to her about this but she says this is how she is. We love each other and try to ...

A.   14 December 2018: Your relationship with your girlfriend has run its course and it's time to end it. Don't approach your crush till it's well and truly over with the current girlfriend. That would be very wrong. Once you're out of this one, take some time and don't ... (read in full...)

I can't get my ex to leave me alone

Q.   So, I was engaged to a guy and we broke up a year ago. So, my ex is military he moved to Germany while I live in the U.S. it was a toxic relationship. When he was in the U.S. him and I we’re together for two years. We broke up and got back together ...

A.   9 December 2018: I second absolutely every single thing that Uncle Wise Owle has said. Call his base, file a complaint and then see what happens. You haven't acted strongly enough and you're also being rather foolish in dealing with him. You don't need to be told ... (read in full...)

My ex sent my nastiest most private messages on social media for all of my friends to see

Q.   Hello. I left an emotionally, verbally and ultimately physically abusive relationship. I will not sugar coat and say I did not lash back out. I hit him back and screamed and cursed back stooping to his level instead of leaving. This went on for 10 ...

A.   6 December 2018: Why are you humiliated and ashamed? It should be him! Whoever he's sending these texts to, if they support him then they're as bad as him! Any rational person would block him and sympathize with YOU! However, I think you should not take this lyin... (read in full...)

Is it possible we "love" each other?

Q.   Hi. I've been married since 1995,and we get along fine, but I met this lady "B" at work in 2004. Without meaning to, we became very close even though she was engaged to someone I knew. Nothing actually happened because she was my boss, but everyone ...

A.   3 December 2018: You haven't said a single word about your wife. I wonder what she would have to say listening to you wax eloquent about another woman? You've practically written an entire essay on this other woman with not so much a word about the lady who's taken ... (read in full...)

Should I ask her out or wait until the divorce is final?

Q.   I am very interested in asking out a woman with whom I have developed a nice freindship, including some flirting. The difficulty is that she recently filed for divorce. Some people say I should wait until it is final...others say go for it. I would ...

A.   3 December 2018: Wait for the divorce and then give it some more time. Don't jump into anything immediately and in a hurry. You have no idea about her emotional state of mind, you have no idea who's going though what, how things will change after the divorce and ... (read in full...)

I feel like I need her permission to leave the relationship. Is she crazy?

Q.   Hi everyone, I need advice about a girl who I think is totally crazy. I am 26 and she is 33. Bit of an age gap but she seemed very nice so i thought i'd give her a chance. I decided now I don't want to be with her but I want to know if I did an...

A.   2 December 2018: You need to be firm and tell her that there is nothing between you and no, you can't even be friends with her. There are no explanations needed. Another call from her and you will you will go to the police. You have had enough and this is nothing ... (read in full...)

How to deal with a needy friend who’s staying over the Christmas?

Q.   (sorry I've just realized how long this post is) She’s a friend I’ve known all of my life. Our fathers were best friends. She has always been extremely needy and I’ve dealt with it and not always in a good way (meaning that I would often say ...

A.   30 November 2018: The aunts have all given you good advice and it has a common theme. Learn to say no and stop being a pushover. It doesn't make you a bad person for saying no. OP many times in life we make the mistake of thinking that if we assert ourselve... (read in full...)

Heartbreak - What are your best ways of getting over it?

Q.   Hi there, Thank you for choosing my post and taking the time to respond. I ended it with a guy I had been with for two years, after he was abusive and disloyal. Simple question - how do I get over it quickly? I hate heartache so much and he...

A.   28 November 2018: You can get over him if you tell yourself that leaving him was the best thing that you could have done. That this was and is the best gift you've given yourself, that you deserve so much better and that it's better to alone than be someone who isn't ... (read in full...)

He knows I like him but went on a date with someone else. Is that a sure sign he doesn't care for me like I do for him?

Q.   Hi, So there's this guy that I work with who I have a crush on. He knows i like him actually but i dont know how he feels. Anyway we talk a lot at work and have started talking outside of work too. Well he told me today how he went on a date this...

A.   28 November 2018: Sweetie, if he knows how you feel and still isn't asking you out then I'm sorry but he's not interested in you. Guys are simpler than we think. If they like someone then they'll do anything and everything to be with that person. They won't wast... (read in full...)

I want to end the relationship but I'm scared I'm pregnant

Q.   Hi I’m in a relationship for 6 years we have a 3 yr old son lately all I think about is ending the relationship I’m not happy at all he does nothing for our child I do everything in the house I go to work and I look after our son the problem is I’m ...

A.   24 November 2018: I dont understand how and why you're still having sex with this bozo when nothing about him is right! And unprotected sex at that! Take the test, accept responsibility if you're pregnant and if you're not, then look at making your life better. ... (read in full...)

New job but ridiculous ongoing hoops. What should I do?

Q.   So I just started a new job a week ago. I was told my background check wasn’t completely back yet, but to go ahead and start on my scheduled date. Today, I’m called into HR and told that there was a date discrepancy with an employer from 4 years ag...

A.   23 November 2018: Your quitting really depends on a lot of factors. How much does this job pay and how badly do you need it? How fast can you get another job if you quit this one? What if the other one(s) also have this same, long winded process? If you really need... (read in full...)

Any chance an ex might reach out after 5 months?

Q.   Sorry for the long post, I am hoping that by writing all this down it will be a bit cathartic and you guys might be able to give me a bit of a support. Basically back at the beginning of January I met a slightly older woman and we kind of hit it o...

A.   22 November 2018: She actually did you a huge favour and your going to realise that sooner than later. It's ok to feel bad for now but there has to be a point when you stop getting sorry for yourself. Just shake it off, remind yourself the whatever happened was for ... (read in full...)

I'm confused as to why she unfriended me. Did I do something wrong?

Q.   Met a girl in class and I liked her (as a friend). Someone I thought I could get a long with as I enjoyed talking to her. She came across as strong, loud and opinionated but not over the top, I liked this. She has a bf and I have a gf so I figured ...

A.   21 November 2018: Are you sure you liked her just as a friend and nothing more? Because that's an awful lot of thinking for just a friend, or in your case, an acquaintance. I think she got the feeling as well and didn't want any drama. Or as the other aunts have ... (read in full...)

My ex girlfriend wants to be reimbursed for gifts she gave me.

Q.   I have recently broke up with my girlfriend after nine months together, a couple of weeks before we separated she bought me a present but now we're not together she's asking me to give her back the money she spent on that present, I don't think ...

A.   8 November 2018: Give it back. Why do you even want to keep anything from her anymore?... (read in full...)

We are on a break but working on our relationship ... he doesn't understand how his actions affected me.

Q.   7 months ago, my ex and I broke up, mutually. Our relationship was long-term. A few days after our breakup I accidentally read a conversation in his facebook account between him and a female friend. The conversation was very intimate, and almost ...

A.   7 November 2018: Wait I don't understand a lot of things here. How did you "accidentally" read a conversation on Facebook? It means you were snooping. And why does he have to reassure you of anything that he's doing once you have broken up? If you are broken u... (read in full...)

We have fun and the sex is amazing but then why doesn't he fall for me?

Q.   Hey all. I feel like a spoilt brat here, like Verruca Salt when she can't get what she wants. I've completely fallen for a co worker. He works in another office and lives 80 miles away. He lives alone (divorced with a son) as I live with parents ...

A.   6 November 2018: It's not a game of chance OP. You can't keep having sex with him hoping that he'll fall for you! If he had to then he would have, by now. You're coming to his door almost wrapped in a ribbon like a gift that he just needs to open while all he need... (read in full...)

He can't say I love you to me but we keep breaking up and getting back together. I don't know what to do

Q.   Okay, this is going to be long and I apologize in advance - I’ll try to summarize as much as possible. Two years ago (August 2016) I started my masters program in a big city. I was on dating apps for fun, mostly, not looking for anything serious...

A.   5 November 2018: Your friends are exhausted, you're exhausted and so am I, a third-party, from just listening about this whiny ex of yours! To love someone is the simplest thing in the world and it doesn't have to be so complex, so complicated, so painful,... (read in full...)

Where do you draw the line on honesty, versus someone indirectly putting another person down?

Q.   Dear Cupid I would really value your opinion now. Where do you draw the line on honesty, versus someone indirectly putting another person down? At what point do you realize that someone is being genuinely helpful, or is just putting you ...

A.   4 November 2018: It's very clear after reading your follow-up...she's jealous of you. She can't bear your accomplishments and reminds you of your flaws because she wants you to feel bad. That's her way of pulling you down. Why are you still tolerating h... (read in full...)

Where do you draw the line on honesty, versus someone indirectly putting another person down?

Q.   Dear Cupid I would really value your opinion now. Where do you draw the line on honesty, versus someone indirectly putting another person down? At what point do you realize that someone is being genuinely helpful, or is just putting you ...

A.   2 November 2018: I do not like people who put others down in the name of honesty and I hate it when people offer unwarranted advice. I believe that unless categorically asked, there should be no "well meaning" words of wisdom on offer to anyone. I have an aunt ... (read in full...)

Do I warn others hes a serious fantasist

Q.   So just over a year ago i met a man on a dating site and we decided to make a go of it. Everything was great for the first couple of month then he sectioned himself. He had told me prior to meeting his mental health issues. So we kind of had a break ...

A.   2 November 2018: I don't think many women would be as foolish on purpose as you were. I would be more worried about yourself, for falling for someone like him for as long as you did, after everything that he told you. I think you're the one that needs help here.... (read in full...)

My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me?

Q.   My married lover travels with his wife up to 3-5 times a year. The longest he is away is a month at a time. It's very difficult for me, even though I've chosen to place myself in this role. I feel resentful and left behind. They are natural ...

A.   31 October 2018: Trust, respect, faith are all lost on him. Why? Because he's a lowlife who's cheating on his wife with you and cheating on you with God knows who. He knows his own flaws far too well and thinks that if he's not be trusted then others are not as w... (read in full...)

We met online I'm 18 he's 34. Is it wrong that I want to be with him?

Q.   I just want opinions. I have known a man for over 3 months now. We met online, we Skype regularly, he's amazing. We talk everyday. He lives 2 hours away from me.The only thing is he is 34 and I am 18. I want to be with him so bad. Is this wro...

A.   27 October 2018: Please stop immediately! You know next to nothing about a man who's sitting behind a computer and for all you know, painting a rosy picture to trap you. If you were my daughter, to say that I would be horrified out of my wits is an understatement. ... (read in full...)

I can't give either of them up but I know I need to in the long term.

Q.   I'm in a relationship with a great man. We have our ups and downs as do any couple but he is undoubtably who I want to be with and we are on the whole very happy. However. I have been having a fling/relationship - call or what you will, with someo...

A.   27 October 2018: The fling guy is an escape for you, a parallel universe. You're intensely attracted to him because what you have with him isn't real. Its almost a fantasy that you've no doubt romanticized no end. You dont live with him, never have, never will. You ... (read in full...)

I went out of my way to make my friend feel special on his birthday but he didn't do anything for me on mine

Q.   It’s really bugging me that I spent my birthday alone. When my best friend has his birthday, I planned dinner, made sure all his friends were there. I personally took them, paid for him etc. We had a great time. Recently it was my bir...

A.   21 October 2018: I think the problem with our generation is that we place our happiness in other people's hands. We don't look at making ourselves happy, we don't look at comforting ourselves, at being our own best friend; we rely on others to do that. You w... (read in full...)

Should I fly 4,000 miles to go see my ex? Would it be cheating?

Q.   So... we’ve broken up for 5 years after an incident and subsequently I moved home to my home country. Contact was lost eventually as we were sick of crying over the phone. Recently, I thought I saw him whilst on vacation and sent him a text. He...

A.   20 October 2018: If you have to ask, then yes. What does your partner have to say about this, by the way? ... (read in full...)

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