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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Latest articles:

Just Two

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...

A little humility goes a long way

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...

1234567891011Next > [56 pages, 2201 answers]

He broke up with me and now I'm pregnant

Q.   Hello all! I’m in a tough situation.. So last week my boyfriend broke up with me because of pressure from his family. Here’s the gist of it: We started dating a year and half ago. I’m bi-racial, half black and half Hispanic. He’s Indian. When we ...

A.   18 April 2019: You need to tell him OP, the sooner the better. Be prepared though that there a great likelihood that he's going to come out of this unscratched because his family will most likely want to have nothing to do with the baby. They will also look at ... (read in full...)

One night stand why didn't he call back

Q.   To make a long story short, I had sex with a guy from my office last week and he bailed right after. I noticed he had been staring at me over the last several weeks, but we were never introduced. At a late office party at a hotel last week (where I ...

A.   17 April 2019: It could be a lot of things. Maybe it was all too much for him, maybe be felt guilty, maybe it just didn't do anything for him, maybe he thought he could get into trouble for sleeping with someone from his place of work or maybe he just isn't into ... (read in full...)

I have neve wanted children, husband is being pressured to adopt his orphaned nephew

Q.   My husband and I are both 29 and child free by choice. His sister and her husband, both 40, passed away in a car accident two months ago. They left behind a 9 year old who is currently living with my husband's parents. Long story short, his paren...

A.   13 April 2019: The previous answer is very hurtful and please don't get guilt tripped into believing that you're wrong. You are absolutely entitled to your opinions, your desires, your likes and dislikes. No one has the right to tell you that you "suck". I'm ... (read in full...)

I'm anxious about wanting a baby soon because of how my life has been but my boyfriend is in no hurry. What do I do?

Q.   I am about to turn 26 and I'm freaking out about my age. Technically I know I'm still very young, but I'm scared about having kids too late. This is getting concerning for my boyfriend, and I'm trying not to bring the topic up too often now. My m...

A.   11 April 2019:  I've seen that when it comes to the important decisions in life, like marriage, work and children, unless both partners are on the same page, it is very difficult to make it work. I think first things first, you need to sit him down and tell him ... (read in full...)

Father-to-be thinks his life is now over - will he change?

Q.   My finance and I are expecting our first child very soon. We have been together for 10 years and previously had a miscarriage which was very hard. Through out my pregnancy, he only goes through phases where he is interested in it. I get no add...

A.   9 April 2019: You're having a child out of wedlock with a man who's less than interested. Will he bolt when the going gets tough? Possibly. Can you demand that he become more involved and interested? No. There's not much here for you OP than hope that he help... (read in full...)

I trust him, of course I do, I just don't understand his actions.

Q.   I’ve been with my partner for almost six years and we’re currently expecting our first baby, due in July. For a while now he’s been taking his phone everywhere with him, even if he is just going to the toilet/puts the bins out/make a cup of tea, he ...

A.   27 March 2019: OP, when you say "I trust him" far too many times, you're not telling that to us; you're saying it to yourself. Do you really trust him? Because if you did then you wouldn't be asking this question here. You're going to have a baby together... (read in full...)

Isn’t it weird for a man to have pictures like these on his phone?

Q.   I chatted online to someone who seemed really lovely. He told me that he was very needy, I am done with needy men but I thought I shall give him a chance. We met, he was lovely but he talked too much which irritating me, while he was showing m...

A.   13 March 2019: Omg you still have to consider? Cut him off immediately with no explanation whatsoever because he isn't worth any of it. Please run for the hills... immediately! ... (read in full...)

I’m shy and don’t like to upset anyone, so how do I let the one friend with a crush on me down, whilst keeping our friendship?

Q.   Hi everyone I've found myself in a tough situation recently and feel I need some advice. Firstly I think its important to understand a few things about me. I'm quite shy, I find it hard to express my interest in someone directly and I also reall...

A.   22 February 2019: Yes to everything uncle Wise Owle says!! To add to his answer, you're not just shy, but lazy and non confrontational as well. You don't want any awkward encounters with anyone, you don't want to say no, you don't even want to say yes. You just... (read in full...)

My cheating ex dotes on his new girlfriend

Q.   So I found out my partner was cheating on me November last year and I ditched him (yay) Our 2 year relationship was pretty rocky throughout and so I absolutely know in my head that I have done the right thing by leaving him. My gripe though...

A.   3 February 2019: Someone once told me that you know you're over your ex when you are absolutely indifferent to them. You don't have any feelings of affection for them and neither do you have any feelings of hatred or extreme dislike. When you hear their name, you ... (read in full...)

What is more important for a long term relationship: sexual attraction or comapnionship?

Q.   The last two relationships I was in were with two very different types of people. One was with a guy who flirted with me from the day we met, and who I was strongly attracted to. Once we broke the ice we couldn't keep our hands off each other. The ...

A.   3 February 2019: But why does it have to be one of the other? Why not both? I've been married for a little over 3 years now and we have a two year old. Of course things change, raising a child has its own set of challenges etc but still, we make time for ourselve... (read in full...)

Were my in-laws out of line or did my brother overreact to an innocent question?

Q.   My in-laws have a problem with boundaries and they are kind of are drama queens. My younger brother on the other hand is more of a private person. So my wife and I had a six month old baby. On Christmas Day, we all had our families over (m...

A.   2 February 2019: I think you're brother did overreact but then maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he genuinely doesn't like such questions and finds them too invasive or maybe he just doesn't like these particular people. There could have been a better response ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend's behaviour normal? He's admitted to going really strange sexual things relating to the girl he liked!

Q.   Hello. I’m starting to become a little bit freaked out by my partner. I just wanted to know how “normal” this was. He’s a normal man, hardworking, provides for the family, kind, caring and loving. He hasnt had many girlfriends in the past due to ...

A.   30 January 2019: My advice would have been different had you not been pregnant but now that you are and about to have a baby any time, I think you should just focus on yourself and the baby. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that his too much information policy ... (read in full...)

She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!

Q.   I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...

A.   28 January 2019: OP what you're saying is right in theory, that she's being hypocritical and dishonest. But who doesn't have shades of grey in how they are? Everyone does! You seem to be annoyed and beyond! It almost looks like you have a bit of a complex.... (read in full...)

Does his body language and other actions indicate he’s into me or just being friendly?

Q.   There is a guy in my class this semester in college who decided to sit next to me. The first day of class he introduced himself and we exchanged a few words. I noticed that he was mirroring all the different ways that I sat. Sometimes I would have ...

A.   27 January 2019: I don't know about him OP but your sure are VERY keen on him! Why not ask him out for a cup of coffee? ... (read in full...)

I feel like he likes me but isn’t sure about taking the next step?

Q.   So I’m in a bizarre situation at the moment. I’m 20 years old but I only just had my first kiss with this guy I really like. We met at a party and started messaging every day. I was going overseas so I invited him to a friends party - he didn’t ...

A.   27 January 2019: Afraid of commitment is a nice way of saying that he's not interested because when you meet the right person, there are no fears. It's on the lines of, "it's not you, it's me" and "I need to focus on myself right now". Basically, in plain and simp... (read in full...)

Why does he act this way?

Q.   There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...

A.   27 January 2019: It's a bad idea to date someone at your place of work and moreover, I don't think he's interested. If he was, you'd know, trust me! Don't make things so obvious because you might just become the laughing stock and come across as someone who's not ... (read in full...)

How do I overcome my fear of commitment?

Q.   I have been dating my bf for 6 years. He sleeps over at my apartment every night and has a bunch of stuff here, but we live apart. He has been trying to get me to move in for at least three years now, but it is a mental block for me. Almost everyone ...

A.   22 January 2019: Has he ever given you any reasons to be suspicious of him or to doubt his intentions in any way? If not then you must realise that your paranoia will eventually drive your boyfriend away. There are no guarantees in life OP. No one can assure you of ... (read in full...)

I’m going to see my ex, is this a good idea?

Q.   My ex and I broke up a year ago due to him moving, and me being in uni still for the next year. Fast forward a year later, and we reconnected and are still in love with each other. I got a great job here in my city after I graduate in a few months ...

A.   21 January 2019: He's your ex for a reason and in the past for a reason. Let him just be there. You're meeting him, you'll end up having sex, you'll reminisce, the weekend will fly by, you'll come back to your life, feel like shit for stirring old memories... (read in full...)

Is he completely dense? Should we just give up trying to tell him he’s making the biggest mistake of his life?

Q.   Hi guys so firstly this us a follow on from a post at Christmas- thank you all for your excellent advice The situation was a mutual good friend had got himself involved with a girl we all knew was bad news- disrespected him, took money and gene...

A.   21 January 2019: But here's the thing OP. You think you're not interfering but your friend thinks otherwise. He's not dense, he's not stupid, he's just a fool in love. He things the girl can do no wrong and she's probably programmed him to think that you guys are ... (read in full...)

My partner's behaviour towards me has been very questionable ever since he lost his job. What's going on here?

Q.   This is a little uncomfortable to write, I'm not sure if I'm the problem or not. I've been in a relationship for 2 years and up until about 8 months ago it was really care free, relaxed, and just a joy really. Now, however, it's... I don't ...

A.   19 January 2019: OP I'm going to start by telling you to break up with this man immediately because I don't think there is any way of making this relationship work. This is his way of dealing with set-backs? He's an insecure, whiny, cruel asshole who is jealous of ... (read in full...)

Should I delay IVF-treamtment, in order to get married in my dream dress?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married in 6 months. We have been trying for a baby for close to 2 years now. Last year, we underwent a fertility check as we didn't manage to get pregnant. Turns out he's got low sperm quality and I have ...

A.   7 January 2019: Keep trying to get pregnant because you say the marriage is 6 months from now. Assuming you get pregnant in a month or two, you'll be four months pregnant at the time of your wedding and you might still fit into your dream dress. I didnt start to ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this overwhelming friend?

Q.   Hello there, I have this male friend in class. He liked me from the very beginning. Sweet guy but tries too hard to impress, is shallow in his approach to falling in love (may be due to lack of experience). I know for a fact he's smitten from att...

A.   5 January 2019: So far you've been doing everything right. You seem like a mature, level headed young lady. Good for you OP! Now as regards the guy, you've made yourself clear but he's not getting the message so you need to make yourself a little more clear. Tell... (read in full...)

A stranger offered herself to me to help me lose my virginity. Do I accept?

Q.   I will be 20 very soon and am still a virgin. I have tried to date probably more than a hundred women and have always been rejected. I have contemplated visiting an escort but don't want to lose my dignity doing so. Out of a whim I posted an ad o...

A.   3 January 2019: So it's a no win situation? You wanted someone to answer your ad even if you put it out there on a whim. You went ahead to meet the woman who answered it and she was attractive beyond your expectations. So now what do you actually want? Given th... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   29 December 2018: You're going to need every bit of luck that comes your way now that you've decided to go ahead with this. You sound well-meaning but immature. I don't think you're paying heed to anything that the aunts are trying to tell you and you're having a ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   28 December 2018: To be honest, I too would be very skeptical if my brother brought home a girlfriend like yours. What do you want your family to say OP? How exactly do you want them to behave? You can't possibly think they'd chat about the weather! Look you can'... (read in full...)

He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!

Q.   Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...

A.   28 December 2018: He's going to back off? When? Does he have a date set for it? The truth is, it's not going to get better. Right now it's his annoying but tolerable nervous energy but once things get serious, it might just turn to an angry and abusive rela... (read in full...)

My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do

Q.   I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...

A.   24 December 2018: In my culture there's a saying that goes, you can wake someone who's sleeping but you can't ever awaken someone who's pretending to sleep. Your friend knows exactly what is happening and chooses to go along with it. It's his choice. Why are you ... (read in full...)

The gossip has taken all the good that I do and turned me into nothing.

Q.   Hey Cupids, My questions are about moving on after divorce/separation. I met my beautiful lover earlier this year when he was in an unhappy marriage. We started seeing each other but feelings were serious enough that he left his wife after 7 wee...

A.   24 December 2018: Two things here: first, keep in mind that the "other woman" is always looked down upon, no matter what. The man who was part of the affair gets off relatively easily; it's the woman who has to bear the brunt. It's easier blaming the woman and the ... (read in full...)

My friend has been asking why she can't get a partner. Should I tell her what I think?

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles! My friend recently started asking me seriously (up until now it was purely rhetorical) why she can't find a partner. Should I tell her what I think? It's just an opinion, I'm not a shrink. I'm afraid that she migh...

A.   21 December 2018: Stay out of it OP; she's an adult, she knows what she's doing. No one is that naive. If she's choosing the wrong guys then that is her conscious choice. There's not going to be a lightbulb moment for her if you point out her flaws - instead she will ... (read in full...)

I feel overwhelmed with empathy for older folk

Q.   Has any of you felt ever overwhelmed by empathy towards elderly people who are suffering? Ever since I was a kid, I've been helping out elderly people in my neighborhood without being told to do so. I always felt such a strong sadness whene...

A.   17 December 2018: I have had tremendous empathy for the elderly since I was a child. I was very VERY attached to my grandparents and I think it was a reflection of that. I have always felt this way about old people as well as animals which is why I gave up eating ... (read in full...)

Etiquette on footing the bill

Q.   Hi..My question is unrelated to a relationship but who is supposed to pay, and how often, when at a bar. For example, there's this foreign friend of mine working in my city, who I meet with quite often for a drink or so. Unlike him, I'm not into ...

A.   16 December 2018: Each of you should pay for your drinks. Let him pay for his safe entirely and you pay for yours. ... (read in full...)

I'm not happy with my girlfriend and my crush is now single.

Q.   I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for past year and half. Because of her excessive mood swings, things have become difficult for me. I tried talking to her about this but she says this is how she is. We love each other and try to ...

A.   14 December 2018: Your relationship with your girlfriend has run its course and it's time to end it. Don't approach your crush till it's well and truly over with the current girlfriend. That would be very wrong. Once you're out of this one, take some time and don't ... (read in full...)

I can't get my ex to leave me alone

Q.   So, I was engaged to a guy and we broke up a year ago. So, my ex is military he moved to Germany while I live in the U.S. it was a toxic relationship. When he was in the U.S. him and I we’re together for two years. We broke up and got back together ...

A.   9 December 2018: I second absolutely every single thing that Uncle Wise Owle has said. Call his base, file a complaint and then see what happens. You haven't acted strongly enough and you're also being rather foolish in dealing with him. You don't need to be told ... (read in full...)

My ex sent my nastiest most private messages on social media for all of my friends to see

Q.   Hello. I left an emotionally, verbally and ultimately physically abusive relationship. I will not sugar coat and say I did not lash back out. I hit him back and screamed and cursed back stooping to his level instead of leaving. This went on for 10 ...

A.   6 December 2018: Why are you humiliated and ashamed? It should be him! Whoever he's sending these texts to, if they support him then they're as bad as him! Any rational person would block him and sympathize with YOU! However, I think you should not take this lyin... (read in full...)

Is it possible we "love" each other?

Q.   Hi. I've been married since 1995,and we get along fine, but I met this lady "B" at work in 2004. Without meaning to, we became very close even though she was engaged to someone I knew. Nothing actually happened because she was my boss, but everyone ...

A.   3 December 2018: You haven't said a single word about your wife. I wonder what she would have to say listening to you wax eloquent about another woman? You've practically written an entire essay on this other woman with not so much a word about the lady who's taken ... (read in full...)

Should I ask her out or wait until the divorce is final?

Q.   I am very interested in asking out a woman with whom I have developed a nice freindship, including some flirting. The difficulty is that she recently filed for divorce. Some people say I should wait until it is final...others say go for it. I would ...

A.   3 December 2018: Wait for the divorce and then give it some more time. Don't jump into anything immediately and in a hurry. You have no idea about her emotional state of mind, you have no idea who's going though what, how things will change after the divorce and ... (read in full...)

I feel like I need her permission to leave the relationship. Is she crazy?

Q.   Hi everyone, I need advice about a girl who I think is totally crazy. I am 26 and she is 33. Bit of an age gap but she seemed very nice so i thought i'd give her a chance. I decided now I don't want to be with her but I want to know if I did an...

A.   2 December 2018: You need to be firm and tell her that there is nothing between you and no, you can't even be friends with her. There are no explanations needed. Another call from her and you will you will go to the police. You have had enough and this is nothing ... (read in full...)

How to deal with a needy friend who’s staying over the Christmas?

Q.   (sorry I've just realized how long this post is) She’s a friend I’ve known all of my life. Our fathers were best friends. She has always been extremely needy and I’ve dealt with it and not always in a good way (meaning that I would often say ...

A.   30 November 2018: The aunts have all given you good advice and it has a common theme. Learn to say no and stop being a pushover. It doesn't make you a bad person for saying no. OP many times in life we make the mistake of thinking that if we assert ourselve... (read in full...)

Heartbreak - What are your best ways of getting over it?

Q.   Hi there, Thank you for choosing my post and taking the time to respond. I ended it with a guy I had been with for two years, after he was abusive and disloyal. Simple question - how do I get over it quickly? I hate heartache so much and he...

A.   28 November 2018: You can get over him if you tell yourself that leaving him was the best thing that you could have done. That this was and is the best gift you've given yourself, that you deserve so much better and that it's better to alone than be someone who isn't ... (read in full...)

He knows I like him but went on a date with someone else. Is that a sure sign he doesn't care for me like I do for him?

Q.   Hi, So there's this guy that I work with who I have a crush on. He knows i like him actually but i dont know how he feels. Anyway we talk a lot at work and have started talking outside of work too. Well he told me today how he went on a date this...

A.   28 November 2018: Sweetie, if he knows how you feel and still isn't asking you out then I'm sorry but he's not interested in you. Guys are simpler than we think. If they like someone then they'll do anything and everything to be with that person. They won't wast... (read in full...)

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