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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Latest articles:

Just Two

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...

A little humility goes a long way

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...

1234567891011Next > [54 pages, 2122 answers]

I don’t know how to move on! Advice?

Q.   I still love him and can’t move on.? We broke up after almost 2 years because I tolerated his abusive behaviour, emotionally and verbally. I broke up because I couldn’t take the nasty words and he said he wished I died. A week later he texts me...

A.   18 July 2018: Sweetheart you may have just had the luckiest escape of your life. There is nothing and I mean nothing worse than being with someone who abuses you. Abusers make you feel small, worthless, useless, unloved, unlovable and then you start questioning ... (read in full...)

Everyone tells us moving in together after 2 months of dating is too soon!

Q.   What's the consensus for knowing when you're ready to move in with someone? My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a little over 2 months, but we see each other every day (we work at the same company), spend hours/weekends at a time togeth...

A.   16 July 2018: The only thing that 'bothers' me just a little is that you are co-workers. More than the two months thing. You see each other every single day. I know you're not even remotely thinking of it not working out but God forbid something goes wrong and ... (read in full...)

After years of neglect, my teeth need dental care! Is this how I go about it?

Q.   Hi guys... I think this is more for support as well as advice. I've been on before about this topic but a new angle this time. So I've now got a boyfriend and one major issue I had was I hate my teeth. It's because of years of neglect ...

A.   13 July 2018: Yes OP, this IS the first step. Even if the dentist says, wow that's bad, so what? Logically tell me, so what? He/she will still do your dental work! They don't know your, they will be know you beyond just being another patient and you will soon be ... (read in full...)

Are we all THAT replaceable?

Q.   Dear friends, I hope you are all well! I would like to have your advice today on a sensitive situation I am facing. I broke up with my ex of 6 months. She was a beautiful girl and it is clear she has and had lots of success. For some rea...

A.   13 July 2018: You're not replaceable to anyone who truly loves you and cannot imagine a life without you. You're also not replaceable to someone who's extremely dependent on you, emotionally or otherwise. My husband's parents don't really get along with eac... (read in full...)

Why couldn’t he understand that I needed his emotional support that day?

Q.   Monday was a sad day for me. I lost my job and broke up with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. Although I'm not too worried about being able to find another job, it still is not a happy event to be let go... I called my boyfriend and he sounded shocked ...

A.   13 July 2018: Well there you have it then. He's not made any effort to give you what you want the most... His time. And guess what, it woudn't have changed in the future either because he doesn't see it as a problem and doesn't even want to understand why it ... (read in full...)

Why couldn’t he understand that I needed his emotional support that day?

Q.   Monday was a sad day for me. I lost my job and broke up with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. Although I'm not too worried about being able to find another job, it still is not a happy event to be let go... I called my boyfriend and he sounded shocked ...

A.   12 July 2018: Whatever happens is for the best OP. You'll find a much better job and in this moment of adversity, you saw the true face of your ex boyfriend. "A friend in need is a friend indeed" is something that we were taught as kids and you can see for ... (read in full...)

She only wants to be friends but acts like we are more?

Q.   This is a complicated issue that has really affected me mentally. I've been friends with this girl since secondary school and we have always been pretty close, we got closer as we moved up to college and since becoming close friends and spen...

A.   6 July 2018: Oh please OP, no one is as naive as this girl is pretending to be. I don't believe that people need to be told what boundaries are... It's something that you just know. Inherently. In this case, the girl in question is plain and simple playing ... (read in full...)

My ex has I have slept together too many times!

Q.   My ex and I go to the same college. We see each other a lot considering we have many of the same friends. We broke up two months ago because I was stressed out a lot, and he was too about school and things happening with his family. But rece...

A.   4 July 2018: I think it's a bit of everything. You're bored, you're still not over him, seeing him reminds you of the time that you had together and the fact that you've been lovers in the past makes you comfortable which is why you end up sleeping with him over ... (read in full...)

I found out my fiancé lied about his education. Now what?

Q.   My fiancé and I were recently engaged. We have been together for two years. He moved here from out of state shortly before we met. He told me and has always said that he graduated from University A. According to him he attended University B for ...

A.   3 July 2018: Ask him immediately. You should know why he lied to you and he better have a good answer! He's going to great lengths to cover up his lies by changing his resume each time but then that's the thing with lies... One lie leads to another and before ... (read in full...)

I cheated and want to fix my relationship, but how?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, since I was 23. He is a wonderful person. I love him, he loves me, and we've always worked so well together. We've never had any problems beyond whose turn it is to do the dishes. ...

A.   3 July 2018: You don't love your boyfriend, I'm pretty sure you have a narcissistic personality, and you cheated knowing damn well that it would lead to sex because that's exactly what you wanted and you went for it. I think right now you should break up... (read in full...)

Is it for sure that I will get a green card?

Q.   I got a divorce 3 years ago because my husband was emotionally and physically abusive. I have a 4 year old daughter, and i always do my best to sacrifice the best for her. I live in the middle east, and i always have to go to Texas, USA for months ...

A.   28 June 2018: As the male anonymous uncle pointed out, it's difficult now because Trump is very particular about immigration from Islamic nations - what with the travel ban and everything- and what you're planning might be an uphill task. Speak to someone who ... (read in full...)

Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone?

Q.   I plan to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to let him know until I delete all our photos together from his phone. Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone? I never wanted to take pictures with him in the first place because I ...

A.   26 June 2018: I'm the only one who's going to go against the majority I guess. I'm not proud to say that I did this once. The guy in question was a jerk and although the photos were not questionable in the least, I still didn't want him to have them. By the end ... (read in full...)

I ask women I sleep with about their opinion on abortion because I don't want kids. How do I know the girl I'm seeing is on the same page?

Q.   So I met a wonderful girl online and we hit it off really well. We kissed on the first date, had lunch on the second, and ended up sleeping with each other on the third when she invited me over to her apartment for pizza and a movie. We used ...

A.   22 June 2018: I somehow find this to be very strange. Do you have any idea what an abortion entails for the woman? If you don't want kids that strongly, get a vasectomy or use condoms every single time or just abstain. Or else be prepared to pay child support ... (read in full...)

I'm worried he still has feelings for his ex.

Q.   Is he really over his Ex? Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years now and I thought we was both the happiest we could be. Last night he went to show me something on social media and his ex girlfriend was at the very top of his search bar I...

A.   18 June 2018: Yes, it looks like he's not over her. I'm sorry OP, this must be awful for you but it certainly looks like he's still hung up on her. The question is, what do you want to do now?... (read in full...)

Should I give both of us another chance? Or not bother?

Q.   Hi everyone. I have this ex who i was with 2 years ago. We met and everything was great so much that we moved together in 3 months so we could be closer, he lived in another city. From that moment on he gradually changed and was becoming cold, ...

A.   16 June 2018: Trust your instincts because if you feel that nothing has changed then it hasn't. You know at some level that it's going to end in a disaster yet again. You know what they say...fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. ... (read in full...)

My friend is upset with me and I am not sure what to do to mend our relationship!

Q.   Four months back one of my high school friend got married. We have been friends from last 12 years. She is a very nice lady but she was there for me in my hard times. we always had back of each other. She married her boyfriend even though she was ...

A.   16 June 2018: Don't do anything because you haven't said anything wrong. Friendship is a two-way street but right now the way she's going, it's all about her. She's old enough to realise her mistake and if she doesn't then too bad. The more you apologize, the now ... (read in full...)

All couples argue..But where do we draw a line?

Q.   My dear other half thinks his verbal abuse is just an arguement and it would be if I would agree to that. But I know there is more to it than that and it destroys me as the pattern repeats with increasing frequency. He cant see that its not a c...

A.   14 June 2018: Arguments should be healthy and shouldn't be made just to prove a point. It's good to hear both perspectives but it should be dignified. No name calling, no bringing up the past, no being petty and no dragging it out beyond the conversation. ... (read in full...)

I had a dream that my husband's best friend kissed me, and now I need help clearing my head

Q.   Dear Cupid, I've been married for three years and just found out I have a child on the way. I have a very loving and kind husband who bends over backwards for me. I love him dearly. Now, DH has a best friend that I've met only a handful of times. T...

A.   13 June 2018: Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't have a crush on someone! Don't be so hard on yourself and stop blaming yourself. You know nothing is going to come out of this, you know you're not looking for an affair and neither is he. Hey i... (read in full...)

How do you know if you're meant to be together forever?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years, lived together for almost 3 years of that. He's my best friend and we've spoken openly about marriage and kids. Anyway, my question is, how do you know if you're really meant to be together fore...

A.   12 June 2018: It's not bad that you're questioning the relationship because it just goes to show that there's always room for improvement. You know OP, I have always been a very firm believer in travelling, seeing the world, experiencing other cultures... (read in full...)

She has a guy friend stay over!

Q.   I am dating someone and have been for 4 or 5 months now. She is having a guy friend stay over, which makes me uncomfortable on a level of respect. I have stayed at another girls place with a previous gf and was told by family that this shouldn't of ...

A.   11 June 2018: Why can't he stay in a hotel? What does she have to say in her defence when you ask her this? ... (read in full...)

How should I handle finding these texts?

Q.   Some back story: My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. Aside from a few normal bumps and turns in the road, our relationship has been quite a breeze. We started off in a very unconventional way, though. I actually had a fling ...

A.   8 June 2018: In situations where you're questioning the relationship, ask yourself where you see yourself long-term. Do you think you could go on to marry this guy? Have kids with him? Trust him to give you a safe and happy home? If yes then look at mend... (read in full...)

Am I rushing things, I've never had a long distance relationship before.

Q.   So I’m in an unfamiliar dating situation and looking for advice (apologies for the long story below!) Back in January, I matched with a guy on a dating app. He was from my hometown and we had mutual friends, but we’d never come across each othe...

A.   3 June 2018: Ok so here's my take on it. If he were as into you or into the budding/potential relationship that you two have, he would have scheduled time to be with you rather than with his friends. You are far more emotionally invested into this than h... (read in full...)

How to deal with breakups when you suffer from anxiety

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for several years. We love each other very much but probably aren't the best match for each other. I would like to consider breaking up, but I have anxiety and it makes everything difficult 10x harder. I'm scared of ...

A.   1 June 2018:  You need to do what's right for you and if being with this guy is not right then you have to let him go. Just because you are an anxious person doesn't mean that you drag on and on in the relationship even though you know its not working out. ... (read in full...)

Been dating for 4 years but an old flame has returned, and so have the feelings.

Q.   Hi everyone, I've got a serious relationship problem I really need some help with! I have been with my boyfriend for four years. He's caring, kind, affectionate and I really do love him. However, our relationship lacks passion and we have little s...

A.   1 June 2018: I'm not going to repeat what the others have rightly said but I'm just going to ask you a very simple question. Do you see yourself being with this boyfriend in the next 5-10 or even 15 years? Do you see yourself getting married to him, having kids ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's ex wants to meet him for coffee!

Q.   My boyfriend asked me if I would be okay if he met his ex for coffee. His ex reached out to him wanting to catch up while she is in town for some official business. My boyfriend's ex ended their relationship a year ago and is currently seeing ...

A.   30 May 2018: I'm surprised that he even felt the need to ask you! I don't think you can see what's going on here but either way you'll end up being the bad guy. If you say yes and he goes and then comes and tells you whatever they "caught up" about and you ... (read in full...)

Should I lie and say the baby is his?

Q.   Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...

A.   28 May 2018: Please tell him the truth so you can live in peace knowing that you did the right thing. You can't keep up a lie like this forever. What will you do when the baby looks nothing like him? When there's a medical emergency and then things stumble ... (read in full...)

My fiancé is acting different during sex! Is this normal?

Q.   I am 29 and a fitness instructor and fiance he is 32 and is a financial analyst. We have a good sex life just til now. Foreplay he was never that much into it but it would still happen. Lately, foreplay is non-existent. Lately, there has be...

A.   26 May 2018: How are things with him otherwise? I don't really get a "nice guy" vibe about this man from reading about him. Is he whiney in general? I almost feel like he's pushing you away and giving you reasons to leave him. ... (read in full...)

Should I ask for the money again or just let it go and block her?

Q.   Hi everyone. I know this lady for few years and I can’t call her my friend but we hangout for a coffee sometimes. I find her cheap, not that she is not spending but just her attitude towards money. 2 months ago she was asking to attend an event ...

A.   18 May 2018: I don't think you should let it go. It's your money, ask her, hunt her down, don't take no for an answer till you get it. Once you do, THEN block her. I think she's just one of those cheap people who think they can get away with not paying. Send... (read in full...)

I wish he would look at me and see I'm drowning, instead of calling me lazy, or belittling my parenting, cooking, whatever.

Q.   I have a laundry list of concerns that I have really no one to turn to with. So I moved across the country to be with my bf and so our family could be together. 2 and a half yrs and 2 babies later, I'm unhappy. It hurts to admit. I have a roof ove...

A.   16 May 2018: Where will you go if you leave? Shouldn't you have thought of this before having your third child with the "controlling, verbally abusive, emotionally stunted brat". Having one accidental pregnancy is understandable to an extent but you went on to ... (read in full...)

How should we take this strange comments from a male boss?

Q.   Apologies that this a job-related rather than relationship-related question. Our male boss at work has made a few comments lately to female employees that I find a bit questionable, but I would like a second opinion on what these remarks say abou...

A.   15 May 2018: First comment- it was/is absolutely none of his business why she doesn't wear her hair down. Creepy and unnecessary comment. Trying to come across as over familiar. Second- let's put the comment aside, I don't really understand who goes home bet... (read in full...)

He ended our friendship because I loved him as a friend only. He sent me a message yesterday after 3 months. Do I reply?

Q.   Me and my ex guy friend have been friends for years. He started to have feelings for me and he did confess to me that he wants to be more than friends. However, i don't see us being together and i dont share the same feelings with him. I rejected ...

A.   15 May 2018: Ego? For what? You said you weren't interested and he respected that and wanted time to heal. He was a good friend for years, he never bothered you when you rejected him and he hasn't been anything but a gentleman till now. Maybe he feels that he's ... (read in full...)

Why his sudden change in behaviour?

Q.   I met a guy through mutual friends age took my number . We had an amazing first long conversation on call followed by a couple of video calls sessions . There were no romantic talks but we were planning to meet up. I agree he is busy but he used to ...

A.   13 May 2018: Don't do anything. You've put your cards on the table and he's not interested. You're obviously not going to grovel and ask him why he isn't calling. Look there's no such thing as too busy. If a guy likes you then he will do anything and I mean a... (read in full...)

Our teenager's actions are causing problems in our marriage

Q.   I guess what we are experiencing with our 15 year old son is not much different than what every parent of teenagers has been since eternity, but it is still stomping us, and leaving utterly frustrated. Our son has stopped being interested in ...

A.   6 May 2018: The title of this post is misleading... It's more about the problems with your son than with your marriage. Anyway. Who amongst the two of you- your wife or you- is closer to your son? That person needs to talk to him when the time is righ... (read in full...)

Partner of 5 years lied about a 'friendship and now I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion

Q.   Hi agony aunts and uncles. I've been a long time reader and love seeing your advice and views. I never once dreamed I'd be writing in and asking for advice. So where to begin. It's currently 2.30 am where I am and this has just happened in the ...

A.   5 May 2018: If it was nothing then why did he lie to you? Lying means that you're doing something wrong and hence you feel the need to hide it. If it were indeed that harmless then why did he lie? You are absolutely justified in feeling hurt because of the ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure what to think about relationships now my heart is broken.

Q.   Dear friends, I am having a hard time after a break up. I have been 6 months with a very beautiful girl (dark hair, blue eyes). It was the first time really that I dated someone of this type, she was and knew she was beautiful. The relationship...

A.   3 May 2018: Bryson, you really need to calm down and get this idea of "pretty" out of your head. You've idolized her far too much for either your or her own good! Seems to me that you were more in love with the looks then with the person. Beauty is only skin... (read in full...)

My uncle says I remind him of my abusive father

Q.   I feel like ive caused a massive family rift by asking a silly question. Ive had a difficult relationship with my uncle for many of my adult years. He is often very sullen and angry around me. I get short snippy answers to anything i say. He is 48 ...

A.   30 April 2018: Goldie, there's really no reason for you to cry! The man is a sad, pathetic human being...48, perpetually angry, sullen and living with his parents...his resume speaks for itself. He needs someone helpless to vent his frustrations out on and as it ... (read in full...)

What does meeting a soulmate feel like? It that what this is?

Q.   So this may be a bit out there, but here goes... A few weeks ago I was introduced to a guy by a friend who had been talking this guy up to me for months. I was crazy anxious about the whole thing, because I don't like having attention put on me li...

A.   28 April 2018: No, I wouldn't read too much into it. There's no such thing as soulmates. It's nice to romanticize about such things in novels and movies but don't get carried away by all this in real life. If this were a movie then he would have swooped you into ... (read in full...)

My best friend tried to kiss my girlfriend.

Q.   Hey guys. Last night my best friend (of like 8 years) tried to kiss my fiance (of 10 years). We were all out drinking, but I had left early because i was feeling gross. I had no trust issues leaving them. They didn't know i was there, as i had ...

A.   28 April 2018: I would be more concerned about the fact that your girlfriend was drinking for 12 hours. I don't touch alcohol and never have but my God this sounds like a problem! Today it was this guy, tomorrow of could be someone else who tries to take advantage ... (read in full...)

He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50

Q.   my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...

A.   27 April 2018: There's something very weird about the way he's with money. It is almost bizarre that he's nitpicking to such an extent about the maid... And it is beyond disrespectful that he's telling you to either chip in or be the maid yourself! That statement ... (read in full...)

Long time friend wants to be more than friends.

Q.   Hello agony aunts. Im facing some troubles and dealing with my guy friend's behavior towards me. My guy friend is being cold, sarcastic and mean to me in the past few weeks. Okay well let me start with this, he actually loves me, he told me before ...

A.   26 April 2018: I just wanted to add, that the reason he keeps coming back to you despite you wanting to end the friendship is because he doesn't want to let you go, nor can he stay away from you. This is what I meant by obsessive behaviour. He's also seen that ... (read in full...)

Long time friend wants to be more than friends.

Q.   Hello agony aunts. Im facing some troubles and dealing with my guy friend's behavior towards me. My guy friend is being cold, sarcastic and mean to me in the past few weeks. Okay well let me start with this, he actually loves me, he told me before ...

A.   26 April 2018: While you've been friends for a long time, the friendship is effectively over OP. I hope you realise that. It's basically on life support right now and just a matter of time before you pull the plug. This guy is being an ass just because you have... (read in full...)

He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50

Q.   my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...

A.   26 April 2018: Don't move in with him if money is already a factor. He's technically not wrong in saying he wants things split half and then again, no one is forcing you to move in. Just tell him that you can't afford it. He shouldn't pay more just because he ... (read in full...)

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