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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Latest articles:

Just Two

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...

A little humility goes a long way

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...

1234567891011Next > [57 pages, 2220 answers]

My boyfriend expects me to cut his family's hair for free since I will soon be a hairdresser

Q.   I'm about to qualify as a hairdresser and my bf if expects me to cut his families hair for free otherwise he says it will be awkward? He has a large family and I've spent nearly a year and half working for apprenticeship wage. Am I right to be ...

A.   23 June 2019: It's one thing for him to suggest this but it would be very cheap of them to even expect that they get free haircuts just because they know you through him! How do they even think that this is fair? Tell him that the most you can you is give them... (read in full...)

Why does a man with a perfect girlfriend still feel the need to have sex with someone else?

Q.   I'd like to know WHY a man can have sex with two women at the same time? I don't mean a threesome. But having two sexual relationships concurrently. One of the relationships is with a woman he's been with for 6 years and he supposedly loves...

A.   22 June 2019: Some people are just not happy or satisfied with stability and monogamy, strange as it sounds. There's nothing wrong with the perfect woman and that's precisely why she's been chosen as the girlfriend. He just needs the extra something on the side ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my boyfriend's best friend!

Q.   I just need some advice on a situation I am overwhelmed by. im not sure how common this situation is , I don't want to be judged I just need some help. so the situation is this. I have been with my boyfriend for four years, our relationship has...

A.   20 June 2019: Nowhere have you mentioned if you feel the the best friend also fancies you and I'm sure you'd know it instinctively. So I'm guessing he doesn't and just treats you like his friend's girlfriend, maybe even like a sister, which is why he's so ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with post-breakup loneliness?

Q.   My ex-fiance and I were together for three years. I was very upset and lost shortly after the breakup. However, as soon as I moved out a few days later, I was neutral/happy. The pressure had been lifted and this neutral/lighthearted feeling lasted ...

A.   13 June 2019: Why don't you spend some time here on Dear Cupid, OP? Believe me, this is a wonderful place to be in and a very productive way to spend time. I came here many years ago when I was going through a bad relationship and I just found this to be such a ... (read in full...)

My fiance's boss seems to be crossing normal professional limits. How can she draw the line without antagonizing him?

Q.   Hello. I have a situation. My fiance (gf of 7 years, 2 years LDR) got a new job in a multinational company a month ago which was a dream come true for her. Her job profile, work culture, everything is perfect. Here's where the problem arises. Firs...

A.   3 June 2019: I was thinking of the same thing.. Why doesn't she stop? Why does she agree to go to coffee shops and dinners with him? Are you telling me that her job could be in danger if she doesn't do these favours? Look OP, you're girlfriend is playing ... (read in full...)

I'm married and am infatuated with a man who is also in a relationship

Q.   I am a married woman and I have developed an infatuation with another man. He is in a relationship too. I don’t know a great deal about him but I know he too fancies me. He has made it clear and has asked me out. I have never been unfaithful ...

A.   30 May 2019: Aah no, have no delusions, he has zero respect for you and if you sleep with him, it'll be negative. A married woman looking to have an affair is already on a very slippery slope. Ever think why men never leave their wives for them? Because in their ... (read in full...)

Seeing my ex at works makes it hard for me to make a decision about my job future. Do I follow my heart or my head?

Q.   I've posted on here a few times about a relationship I had with my colleague that went south to say the least! We currently only speak with each other about work (barely even that). I basically see him and see red! I didn't behave well after the ...

A.   30 May 2019: I can think of two options. First, as most of the aunts say and which should be the more logical one is that you shouldn't let the asshole bother you. The thing is OP I don't think you're over the break-up yet because if you were then you woul... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is very casual about his daughters' privacy and I find it very very odd

Q.   Ive been seeing a guy who's super awesome. We're both single parents of two girls each. They stay the night frequently. My girls are 9 and 13, his are 9 and 11. Despite having lived in an all girl house for the last 5 years or so, my daughters and ...

A.   21 May 2019: This is beyond creepy. A father sniffing his daughters dirty underwear and checking for odour is definitely not normal under any stretch of imagination. I'm sorry but I'd be on the way out. Keep in mind that you have two daughters as well and... (read in full...)

We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?

Q.   When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...

A.   18 May 2019: Do you realise that you would be cheating on your children as well and not just on your husband? How do you think you're going to face everyone after you come back home from your love-making session? Are you going to casually serve breakfast to them ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is very casual about his daughters' privacy and I find it very very odd

Q.   Ive been seeing a guy who's super awesome. We're both single parents of two girls each. They stay the night frequently. My girls are 9 and 13, his are 9 and 11. Despite having lived in an all girl house for the last 5 years or so, my daughters and ...

A.   18 May 2019: When I first read the question, my instant thought was it's certainly not normal and it if you ask me, it's downright creepy and strange. There are some things that are just understood and that needn't be spelt out and this issue of privacy of one ... (read in full...)

I can't get over him, we had sex once but he has a girlfriend

Q.   A year ago I fell in love with someone who had a girlfriend. After months of building sexual tension, we had sex once, after which he told his girlfriend. She told him never to contact me again. For a few months he didn't, then he got back in touch. ...

A.   16 May 2019: You're not in love with him; you're infatuated with him because he has the "you can't have him" factor associated with him. You enjoyed the thrill of the chase, the sexual tension, the butterflies. You're caught in the fantasy of it all and you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's live in grandfather is undermining me with my children. I don't know what to do

Q.   We aren't married but we have two children together. A year ago, his grandfather came to stay with us after he became widowed an needs caring for. We didn't think it was right to put him in a home and he can't really live alone. My grandfather lived ...

A.   15 May 2019: Time to put your foot down OP... Your house, your rules. If grandpa is driving a wedge between you and the kids then it's time for him to be put into his place. I would suggest however that your boyfriend should have a talk with him and not you. Not ... (read in full...)

How do I calm down during foreplay?

Q.   I'm very new to the world of sex, having never been in a relationship before. I now have a girlfriend who is equally as inexperienced. We've never actually had intercourse but I was wondering what people actually do during sex/foreplay when it comes ...

A.   14 May 2019: Amen to everything aunt YouWish said. That way my first thought as well, masturbate and have an orgasm before you meet her so there'll be a lot less pressure on you. And even if you ejaculate when with her, so what? Clean yourself up quickly and ... (read in full...)

Why would a married man who I barely know tell me that he's in love with me?

Q.   Around 5 years ago, I was selected to attend an academic programme in another country. Upon reaching there, I met a guy from my country who was also a participant and we hit it off. There was nothing even remotely romantic... He was married and I ...

A.   10 May 2019: He's unhappy in his marriage and is somehow hoping that you might feel the same way for him. Maybe spending time with you and getting to know you was the most exciting thing that has happened in his boring life and he can't get himself to forget ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but doesn't respond to my texts

Q.   I met a guy on a dating App about a month ago. We hit it off well - he seemed sweet and respectful. We met and there was a lot of sparks and chemistry. We both have complicated relationship statuses - he's divorced with a child from the marriag...

A.   9 May 2019: Look at his background. 2 kids with two different women, and he wasn't even married to one of them. What's he doing on a dating app? Shouldn't someone in his shoes be looking to sort out his life instead of getting yet someone else pregnant? I hone... (read in full...)

I want to hear from you - especially the male ‘aunts’ - if you think he likes me?!?

Q.   I'm really confused and need your help. Sorry, buckle in... it's gonna be a bit long but the details are important. I promise. I started University in August, and my major is really small. There's this really shy/quiet guy in my major, so he's e...

A.   8 May 2019: He's in a relationship, he's cheating on his girlfriend and you're enabling it. But keep in mind that just because he's cheating on her doesn't mean that he likes you. He just likes the attention that he gets from you. ... (read in full...)

He says his affair was my fault. I am emotionally exhausted!

Q.   My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. I got married young (21) and he was 25. I knew at the time that he was a bit insecure but I guess I was young and naïve. The insecurity is getting worse and worse. A couple of years ago, I h...

A.   1 May 2019: The affair was your fault? That statement itself is enough for you to kick his sorry ass to the curb. I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself OP. This marriage holds nothing for you, you're exhausted, cheated upon, you're not allo... (read in full...)

I had sex with another man because its what my husband wanted and now he's mad

Q.   How can I fix my marriage? We are married 5yrs and both age 27. For 2yrs my husbby has had a fantasy for me to fuck a hung man. I have resisted. We have used this as fantasy sex talk. Fri night we went out together to a bar and met friends. Later ...

A.   28 April 2019: All these years at DC and there's still that post once in a while that renders you speechless. Not because of it's shock value but because you think, how on earth could people be THAT stupid? I hope your realise now that your marriage is as good ... (read in full...)

He doesn't seem to want to be my friend after I 'rejected' him, is he playing games?

Q.   Hi everyone! So I became friends with this guy about a year ago, we work in similar types of jobs (not together) and we get on, mostly speaking through mutual friends. He's very different to me, I'm quite a girly girl, and he's quite nerdy, but we ...

A.   24 April 2019: I don't get your point of trying to be friends with him. You didn't want a relationship, he backed off, you've got a new boyfriend and he's not bothering you. So what really is the problem? Let him go and stop contacting him! Even if he IS mad at ... (read in full...)

He broke up with me and now I'm pregnant

Q.   Hello all! I’m in a tough situation.. So last week my boyfriend broke up with me because of pressure from his family. Here’s the gist of it: We started dating a year and half ago. I’m bi-racial, half black and half Hispanic. He’s Indian. When we ...

A.   18 April 2019: You need to tell him OP, the sooner the better. Be prepared though that there a great likelihood that he's going to come out of this unscratched because his family will most likely want to have nothing to do with the baby. They will also look at ... (read in full...)

One night stand why didn't he call back

Q.   To make a long story short, I had sex with a guy from my office last week and he bailed right after. I noticed he had been staring at me over the last several weeks, but we were never introduced. At a late office party at a hotel last week (where I ...

A.   17 April 2019: It could be a lot of things. Maybe it was all too much for him, maybe be felt guilty, maybe it just didn't do anything for him, maybe he thought he could get into trouble for sleeping with someone from his place of work or maybe he just isn't into ... (read in full...)

I have neve wanted children, husband is being pressured to adopt his orphaned nephew

Q.   My husband and I are both 29 and child free by choice. His sister and her husband, both 40, passed away in a car accident two months ago. They left behind a 9 year old who is currently living with my husband's parents. Long story short, his paren...

A.   13 April 2019: The previous answer is very hurtful and please don't get guilt tripped into believing that you're wrong. You are absolutely entitled to your opinions, your desires, your likes and dislikes. No one has the right to tell you that you "suck". I'm ... (read in full...)

I'm anxious about wanting a baby soon because of how my life has been but my boyfriend is in no hurry. What do I do?

Q.   I am about to turn 26 and I'm freaking out about my age. Technically I know I'm still very young, but I'm scared about having kids too late. This is getting concerning for my boyfriend, and I'm trying not to bring the topic up too often now. My m...

A.   11 April 2019:  I've seen that when it comes to the important decisions in life, like marriage, work and children, unless both partners are on the same page, it is very difficult to make it work. I think first things first, you need to sit him down and tell him ... (read in full...)

Father-to-be thinks his life is now over - will he change?

Q.   My finance and I are expecting our first child very soon. We have been together for 10 years and previously had a miscarriage which was very hard. Through out my pregnancy, he only goes through phases where he is interested in it. I get no add...

A.   9 April 2019: You're having a child out of wedlock with a man who's less than interested. Will he bolt when the going gets tough? Possibly. Can you demand that he become more involved and interested? No. There's not much here for you OP than hope that he help... (read in full...)

I trust him, of course I do, I just don't understand his actions.

Q.   I’ve been with my partner for almost six years and we’re currently expecting our first baby, due in July. For a while now he’s been taking his phone everywhere with him, even if he is just going to the toilet/puts the bins out/make a cup of tea, he ...

A.   27 March 2019: OP, when you say "I trust him" far too many times, you're not telling that to us; you're saying it to yourself. Do you really trust him? Because if you did then you wouldn't be asking this question here. You're going to have a baby together... (read in full...)

Isn’t it weird for a man to have pictures like these on his phone?

Q.   I chatted online to someone who seemed really lovely. He told me that he was very needy, I am done with needy men but I thought I shall give him a chance. We met, he was lovely but he talked too much which irritating me, while he was showing m...

A.   13 March 2019: Omg you still have to consider? Cut him off immediately with no explanation whatsoever because he isn't worth any of it. Please run for the hills... immediately! ... (read in full...)

I’m shy and don’t like to upset anyone, so how do I let the one friend with a crush on me down, whilst keeping our friendship?

Q.   Hi everyone I've found myself in a tough situation recently and feel I need some advice. Firstly I think its important to understand a few things about me. I'm quite shy, I find it hard to express my interest in someone directly and I also reall...

A.   22 February 2019: Yes to everything uncle Wise Owle says!! To add to his answer, you're not just shy, but lazy and non confrontational as well. You don't want any awkward encounters with anyone, you don't want to say no, you don't even want to say yes. You just... (read in full...)

My cheating ex dotes on his new girlfriend

Q.   So I found out my partner was cheating on me November last year and I ditched him (yay) Our 2 year relationship was pretty rocky throughout and so I absolutely know in my head that I have done the right thing by leaving him. My gripe though...

A.   3 February 2019: Someone once told me that you know you're over your ex when you are absolutely indifferent to them. You don't have any feelings of affection for them and neither do you have any feelings of hatred or extreme dislike. When you hear their name, you ... (read in full...)

What is more important for a long term relationship: sexual attraction or comapnionship?

Q.   The last two relationships I was in were with two very different types of people. One was with a guy who flirted with me from the day we met, and who I was strongly attracted to. Once we broke the ice we couldn't keep our hands off each other. The ...

A.   3 February 2019: But why does it have to be one of the other? Why not both? I've been married for a little over 3 years now and we have a two year old. Of course things change, raising a child has its own set of challenges etc but still, we make time for ourselve... (read in full...)

Were my in-laws out of line or did my brother overreact to an innocent question?

Q.   My in-laws have a problem with boundaries and they are kind of are drama queens. My younger brother on the other hand is more of a private person. So my wife and I had a six month old baby. On Christmas Day, we all had our families over (m...

A.   2 February 2019: I think you're brother did overreact but then maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he genuinely doesn't like such questions and finds them too invasive or maybe he just doesn't like these particular people. There could have been a better response ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend's behaviour normal? He's admitted to going really strange sexual things relating to the girl he liked!

Q.   Hello. I’m starting to become a little bit freaked out by my partner. I just wanted to know how “normal” this was. He’s a normal man, hardworking, provides for the family, kind, caring and loving. He hasnt had many girlfriends in the past due to ...

A.   30 January 2019: My advice would have been different had you not been pregnant but now that you are and about to have a baby any time, I think you should just focus on yourself and the baby. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that his too much information policy ... (read in full...)

She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!

Q.   I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...

A.   28 January 2019: OP what you're saying is right in theory, that she's being hypocritical and dishonest. But who doesn't have shades of grey in how they are? Everyone does! You seem to be annoyed and beyond! It almost looks like you have a bit of a complex.... (read in full...)

Does his body language and other actions indicate he’s into me or just being friendly?

Q.   There is a guy in my class this semester in college who decided to sit next to me. The first day of class he introduced himself and we exchanged a few words. I noticed that he was mirroring all the different ways that I sat. Sometimes I would have ...

A.   27 January 2019: I don't know about him OP but your sure are VERY keen on him! Why not ask him out for a cup of coffee? ... (read in full...)

I feel like he likes me but isn’t sure about taking the next step?

Q.   So I’m in a bizarre situation at the moment. I’m 20 years old but I only just had my first kiss with this guy I really like. We met at a party and started messaging every day. I was going overseas so I invited him to a friends party - he didn’t ...

A.   27 January 2019: Afraid of commitment is a nice way of saying that he's not interested because when you meet the right person, there are no fears. It's on the lines of, "it's not you, it's me" and "I need to focus on myself right now". Basically, in plain and simp... (read in full...)

Why does he act this way?

Q.   There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...

A.   27 January 2019: It's a bad idea to date someone at your place of work and moreover, I don't think he's interested. If he was, you'd know, trust me! Don't make things so obvious because you might just become the laughing stock and come across as someone who's not ... (read in full...)

How do I overcome my fear of commitment?

Q.   I have been dating my bf for 6 years. He sleeps over at my apartment every night and has a bunch of stuff here, but we live apart. He has been trying to get me to move in for at least three years now, but it is a mental block for me. Almost everyone ...

A.   22 January 2019: Has he ever given you any reasons to be suspicious of him or to doubt his intentions in any way? If not then you must realise that your paranoia will eventually drive your boyfriend away. There are no guarantees in life OP. No one can assure you of ... (read in full...)

I’m going to see my ex, is this a good idea?

Q.   My ex and I broke up a year ago due to him moving, and me being in uni still for the next year. Fast forward a year later, and we reconnected and are still in love with each other. I got a great job here in my city after I graduate in a few months ...

A.   21 January 2019: He's your ex for a reason and in the past for a reason. Let him just be there. You're meeting him, you'll end up having sex, you'll reminisce, the weekend will fly by, you'll come back to your life, feel like shit for stirring old memories... (read in full...)

Is he completely dense? Should we just give up trying to tell him he’s making the biggest mistake of his life?

Q.   Hi guys so firstly this us a follow on from a post at Christmas- thank you all for your excellent advice The situation was a mutual good friend had got himself involved with a girl we all knew was bad news- disrespected him, took money and gene...

A.   21 January 2019: But here's the thing OP. You think you're not interfering but your friend thinks otherwise. He's not dense, he's not stupid, he's just a fool in love. He things the girl can do no wrong and she's probably programmed him to think that you guys are ... (read in full...)

My partner's behaviour towards me has been very questionable ever since he lost his job. What's going on here?

Q.   This is a little uncomfortable to write, I'm not sure if I'm the problem or not. I've been in a relationship for 2 years and up until about 8 months ago it was really care free, relaxed, and just a joy really. Now, however, it's... I don't ...

A.   19 January 2019: OP I'm going to start by telling you to break up with this man immediately because I don't think there is any way of making this relationship work. This is his way of dealing with set-backs? He's an insecure, whiny, cruel asshole who is jealous of ... (read in full...)

Should I delay IVF-treamtment, in order to get married in my dream dress?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married in 6 months. We have been trying for a baby for close to 2 years now. Last year, we underwent a fertility check as we didn't manage to get pregnant. Turns out he's got low sperm quality and I have ...

A.   7 January 2019: Keep trying to get pregnant because you say the marriage is 6 months from now. Assuming you get pregnant in a month or two, you'll be four months pregnant at the time of your wedding and you might still fit into your dream dress. I didnt start to ... (read in full...)

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