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... Send smeedle a private message | | | smeedle's profile:Im nearly 44 and feel at times like 20 then 60, life has been a mixed bag for me, ups and downs as we all have, I have been a bad girl and a good girl, I have had my heart broken and broken hearts as we all have. I have spent my life working with people with problems these include domestic violence, offenders, drugs and alcohol, mental health and learning disabilities and teenage mums. I have a 17 year old son and have never been married, by choice I hasten to add!! I am fiesty and passionate, loving and deep, happy and sad. I live in Ruthin in North Wales and have a 17.3hh Horse called Max and 4 cats. I love where I live and will never leave wales again, it feels like my spiritual home. |
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He forced me to have sex with him and I feel such a wreck about that. But I love him and don't want to break up with him!
Q. Well I have a boyfriend And I have been with him for 1 week. And The other Night , I was at his house and He kinda pressured me to have Sex with Him. Im 14 years old and I wasnt ready but He Forced me to do it. I dont feel right now and Im emotional ...
A. 4 May 2008: You need to not see him again and you need to tell a teacher, parent or someone else you can trust.
What he did was very very wrong and it is against the law to force someone into sex, let alone someone your age, how old is he?
You will need som... (read in full...)
What do you do after two break-ups and someone you love wants to try a third time?
Q. what do you do when someone you love a lot breaks up with you twice to be with someone else and then wants to get back together?...
A. 4 May 2008: You tell them to go to hell, they had there chance twice and still mucked it up, tell them its over and dont look back, why would you want to be with someone who uses you in such an appalling way.
You love her/him but they dont really love you or t... (read in full...)
Is her love just a lie?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 4 years I have never loved anyone more. When we first saw each other it was an instant attraction, something you would read about in a fantasy. She was already in a relationship with someone and had a child wi...
A. 4 May 2008: OH dear, time for you to wake up and see this cheating woman for what and who she is.
You met her amid lies, cheating and unfaithfullness and yet you expected her to change these traits for you, well she hasnt and never will.
You ask if she love... (read in full...)
I had a sex-only relationship but now I want more. I'm lost. What should I do?
Q. I have a sex only relationship wit this guy. I got the idea he didn't wanna be all serious so I told him we can just call each other for those reasons. Before I didn't wanna go to the movies or dinner wit him cause I just go out an relationship now ...
A. 4 May 2008: I agree with the other agony aunts, just tell him.
He can only say yes/no but at least then you will know and if its a yes, well great you already know him intimatly so go and get to know all of him.
But be careful, if you have decided that it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want sex?
Q. I know he loves me as he shows me in other ways. But getting him to kiss or have sex is very difficult. Ive tried lots of different things but nothing really works. He loves me I know that. HE said that sex was important in a relationship at the ...
A. 4 May 2008: Maybe he has a sexual problem, did he have sex with you in the beginning and what was it like, did he manage an errection, did he manage to cum or did he go soft, take forever to cum or not cum at all.
Kissing oftern leads to sex or an expe... (read in full...)
He says he loves me very much but I got told that he cheated on me the night when my bestfriend died!
Q. I need major help. I have been with my Boyfriend For 4 years. And well a few weeks ago I lost my bestfriend. He died by drowing. "theres a Reason for this". The day b4 he died he told my bf"Treat her right, She's a good Girl". He laughed. And well ...
A. 4 May 2008: Ok, reality check comming up, this bloke is a bully he is not in love with you at all, he is just using you and keeping you dangling.
Did I read it right that he drugged you, if so run away from him fast this man is dangerouse and nasty and a lot ... (read in full...)
He's flirting with me, but is he really interested in me?
Q. This guy I really like flirts with me, nothing explicit, just like smiling, staring and winking at me. However, I know he has a girlfriend. Not knowing his current situation with his girlfriend, they maybe on the verge of breaking up for ...
A. 26 April 2008: Flirting is good fun, to flirt or to be flirted at is in the main harmless and makes us feel special.
But if he has a partner and is flirting with you then its not good as there is potential for harm to someone be it you or the partner.
Now h... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I find it very relaxing to watch porn?
Q. Is it normal that i find it very relaxing to watch porn?...
A. 26 April 2008: It is normal as LJ001 said, but I would not say its that relaxing, stimulating maybe!!
When watching porn becomes a problem is when you cannot relax without watching it, or you watch a lot of it regularily, it stops you wanting or needing a girl... (read in full...)
I am 18 and he is 27 and we're in love. Could problems arise with this age difference between us?
Q. Hello all, I recently got involved with a man a fair bit older than I. We both new that it was probably not a good idea, but we just fell in love. I am 18 and he is 27. He is very kind and polite, he does not rush me in anything. Are there proble...
A. 26 April 2008: Well the problems that may occur will be with your friends, his will be older and yours will be younger, you may not be able to get into clubs that he and his mates go too and both families may have some reservations.
Im 45 and I look for part... (read in full...)
What will he think of my new hairdo?
Q. I feel great!! Went to the hairdresser and got a new hairdo. I've always cut my hair in the past but just decided I wanted something different after all these years with the same look. Also, it's distracting me in a nice way from obsessing with my a...
A. 26 April 2008: He will think you look as fab as you do or he is blind lol... (read in full...)
I'm finding it impossible to move on given I mentally lived the dream!
Q. I got back in touch with my 'first love' after 26 years. She is divorced and I'm unhappily married. We had a wonderful time together and I decided that I'd leave my wife, however, a family tragedy occured and then I was taken very ill. To cut a ...
A. 25 April 2008: Im not even going to try and guess what she meant by Major, but I do agree with you, you are living in a dream and that has to stop, you have to wake up.
Dreaming is nice and it is cosy and reality is far far away but im about to shake you awak... (read in full...)
I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm depressed with a broken heart!
Q. ive been going out with this boy for 5 months, everthing was goin AMAZING untill i fell pregnant, he wanted me too hav an abortion so i am in the process of an abortion, but the thing is hes recently dumped me. things started getting difficul...
A. 25 April 2008: You dont get him back, its simple.
He is unable to cope with the grown up responsibility that he has had sex and you have between you made a baby.
He is immature and it will be years before he catches up with your maturity.
Having an abortion wil... (read in full...)
My boyfriend left me for another girl when I was 7 months pregnant-now he's back and I can't cope!
Q. My boyfriend left me for another girl when i was 7 months pregnant, because she was "kinky". He came back before the baby was born and has been with me since the birth. But I cant seem to let what he did go, and its destroying the relationship.And I ...
A. 25 April 2008: Ditch this dirty love rat, he is just not worth the heartach you have had and are likely to get again.
He let you down badly at a time you needed his love, strength and support and then when he was bored with his "kinky" lady he turned to you, mayb... (read in full...)
Is my relationship over?
Q. is my relationship over. my boyfriend went to sea for three months. in that time i got no letters a few email and a few minutes of phone calls. hes back and says things were weird to start with. i get no thanks for the tings i do for him. i ...
A. 25 April 2008: Right well if its not over it damn well needs to be, ditch this user, the term "our of sight, out of mind" springs to mind here.
he uses you ruthlessly when he is home, but when he is away its "what girlfriend"!!
Maybe when away it is difficul... (read in full...)
What is guys' opinion about women with kids?
Q. does having a child turn a guy off? im 20 and have a 3yr old daughter. me and her dad broke up last year. do guys not like women wiv kids...
A. 25 April 2008: Some men dont like women with children as they think they will have a ready made family, some other guys kid to bring up, were others dont like the fact that the woman will always put her child before the bloke, having a child is restrictive and you ... (read in full...)
I didnt do anything,,,but try to be there?
Q. so i waz going out with this guy, and we were really close..like almost the same, and loved bieng around each other...but we lost it because he began talking to someone else. Now hes being completly mean to me????...
A. 25 April 2008: His loss, hold your head up high and move on, if he is that shallow that he thought there was better than you out there then let him go. You move on to better things.... (read in full...)
How do I know if she had sex with him before we married?
Q. sir actaually i got married six months before.before to marriege my fiance told me one day that she was a relationship with a boy and they were only best friends not more then that.now their relation is broke up. i was not having any problem on this ...
A. 25 April 2008: Truth, well you probably never will know if she had sex with this person before she married you.
you could ask her to be honest with you but what if she does tell you the truth and it is that she had great sex with this bloke, what will that do to y... (read in full...)
How can I be friends with her again?
Q. my friend found out I lied. She rejected me. Its been 2 months but she still will only barely say hi. I'm ripping apart Inside I need her friendship. Its really hard to talk because she avoids me. She's intelligent and doesnt does not want to be in ...
A. 25 April 2008: Reading between the lines it sounds like you were either her friend then boyfriend or you wanted to be.
What ever has happened it is always hard to loose a close friend and to do it in such a way is to close a door tight.
You could try and write to... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have a fantasy about being watched while having sex?
Q. I have these fantasies of another man and\or woman watching me and my boyfriend making love, is this nonsense or is this a turn on for you as well?...
A. 25 April 2008: At some stage in our sexual life this has probably crossed most peoples minds, we start out on our sexual journey just getting straight sex as oftern as possible, then we slow down a bit and relax more, we may go steady or marry, we then start to ... (read in full...)
I want to be perfect, I want to feel secure!
Q. I hate myself because: I'm clingy, moody, jealous, insecure, competitive, selfish, I don't trust people, I'm depressive, I'm weak, I have a very bad problem with anger, and because I feel ugly all the time, and not good enough. I have good qua...
A. 25 April 2008: Well im afraid im going to tell you what deep down you already know and im sure lots of people have told you before:-
No one is perfect
No one can be liked or loved all the time
No one totally loves themselves.
So what is wrong with you, well y... (read in full...)
How long does it take an ex to come back to you?
Q. Hi, Have you ever been dumped and then your Ex can back? If so, how many weeks\months did they come back? Did you use any tactics or behave in a certain way for this to happen, such as No contact etc Any experiences appreciated thx...
A. 23 April 2008: You broke up for a reason, if the problem is still there then you should not even think of getting back together.
Yes ex`s do come back but there is no time scale to this and yes there is a chance that she will realise what she has lost and want... (read in full...)
I'm living with a married man and I'm pregnant! He may be sleeping with his wife.
Q. i need advise well frist let me tell you a little about the situation, i met this man at frist i really didnt know how old he was, im 20 and hes 35, he is now my boyfriend we have know eachother for about 4 months now and well i dont ev...
A. 23 April 2008: Well you said it, it is one of lifes lessons and not an easy one to learn.
He is more than likely sleeping with her, he is defensive and this is a sure sign, trying to push the guilt onto you.
You are in love with him so not strong were he is conce... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my nervousness when I talk to girls?
Q. I'm 19 year old guy, i have real trouble asking girls out or even making a move and talking to them. I'm not insecure about my looks, i'm kinda nervous about akward silences or something, how can i get over it?...
A. 23 April 2008: Being a bloke is sometimes difficult as even in this day and age, women like the man to ask them out.
Awkward silences will happen with anyone and at anytime, so dont worry about them.
If you fancy a girl then try and get her on her own and say ... (read in full...)
This older man goes hot and cold on me! Now he's interested!
Q. I am 22 and know this man who is 10 years older than me. We got to know each other through work. He was friendly toward me so I became fond of him. We got on well outside work too until last Christmas when he started going out with a woman. They ...
A. 23 April 2008: Sounds like you have moved on, he didnt want you at christmas and so you got over him and that is that.
He now is alone and wants you again, dont be tempted he is just filling a gap.
Not sure being friends is such a good idea but if that is what ... (read in full...)
He deleted me after he found out I was his next door neighbor! Do I just leave him alone?
Q. dear cupid, i really like my next door neighbour and i have done for nearly a year now, last sunday i spoke to him for the first time on msn but he didnt know it was me and we were speaking for 4 hours and we swapped numbers then when he found out ...
A. 23 April 2008: My heart goes out to you, you like this guy and until he knew who you were, he seemed to like you.
It maybe the age thing, it maybe because you live so close and he does not want his buisness to be so public, he may not want his family to know who ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to have sex with someone who could be paralyzed from the waist down?!
Q. okayy. my boyfriend went to the doctor like 2 days ago. They said a disk in his back was out of place and if he plays any sports or messes up his back in anyway he will become paralyzed (sp?)from the waist down. when he told me that i tryed to ...
A. 23 April 2008: Ok, first off this is his life, I can understand why he has gone to the game, he is still in the acceptance stage and so is kicking back and refusing to think about the if`s, but`s and mayby`s. He is young and so thinks he is infalable.
You cann... (read in full...)
How do I turn down a guy I've been having an affair with? I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Q. I had an affair with this guy and have managed to get over him. I haven't told him about this and he's still expecting some intimacy. How do I turn him down without hurting his feelings?...
A. 23 April 2008: Wish you had said which one of you was married as this makes the difference.
Which ever way it is, it sounds like you will have to tell him bluntly it is over and suffer the consequenses.
If you are the married one then you have to expect some kin... (read in full...)
What size penis does it take to satisfy a girl?
Q. what size of penis can satisfy a Girl.? Mine is 4.5 Inches on full erection......
A. 23 April 2008: Well there is a saying "its not what you have its how you use it!!" to an extent this is true. I think that its not about how big or small you are its how you and your partner feel about each other.
Until recently i didnt realise just how impo... (read in full...)
I think she likes him back and I get jealous! I'm planning on asking her out though.
Q. I work with a girl and I really like her. She's finishing work in a few weeks though I've worked with her for about 8 months. When we started to get to know one another, she was really friendly and chatty. I would compliment her and she would ...
A. 23 April 2008: Right well its now or never time, you do right asking her for a drink, you need the answers and you need them fast.
She is maybe giving off mixed signals or maybe you are reading mixed things, its hard to know as im sure you are finding with... (read in full...)
Am I too young to be bisexual?
Q. Heya, im 12 years old. I just wanted to know... Am i too young to decide to be bi-sexual? Because i like watching lesbian porn and, i know it semi-normal at my age to feel like this but as i said, do you guys think im too young to decide to be bi? ...
A. 23 April 2008: Good grief, you are too young to be watching this type of stuff let alone deciding on your sexuality.
Slow down, just be yourself without questions like that, plenty of time to think about your sexual prefferences when you are older, who knows what... (read in full...)
Was this sex? I'm a virgin and I'm not sure what to think of this or how to move past it!
Q. I am a guy 24 yrs old and not had sex as yet.I had a aunty in relation whom I am open with. I share every problem with her .I went to a party a wedding in her relation. I was tense those days regarding my job and regarding my girlfriend. i told her...
A. 23 April 2008: Hiya
Well can see how you have become confussed, but like the previouse two replies you have definatly not had sex, she was obviously turned on by you and the drink, she wanted to arouse you and so played with you, you went to sleep and she did too,... (read in full...)
Very self conscious about my big breats. Any natural method for breast reduction?
Q. Hi, I feel really self concious about my boobs, I'm 15 and I'm size 34DD. Is this too big?? Iv tried eating less and exercising more to loose some weight off them and haven't really lost anything only 6 pounds... Should I get a Brea...
A. 24 December 2007: Hi Sweetheart,
Good god, you are perfect, you have what lots of women pay good money for and i bet you are beautiful, i bet your bloke thinks you are the sexiest girl he has ever met.
Loosing weight is not good as it may make your breasts smaller ... (read in full...)
There are times when I think I'm too clingy, and not because of jealosy. I just love him very much. What can I do?
Q. i am 19 years old i'm in a relationship.i love my boyfriend very much i believe he's the one.we've been together about 9 months in march it would be a year!there is times where i think i'm too clingy.i'm not jealouse it's just that i love him very ...
A. 24 December 2007: Hiya.
So why do you think that you are too clingy, you feel you are in love with him and that is good, he may not be the one but at the moment and possibly forever he is "the one" so what is it that you do that makes you clingy?
Does he have a l... (read in full...)
Loved but abused?
Q. Hi. Please can someone help? I have been with my partner for nearly a year now. I am his first love and his first proper girlfriend. I also live with him and his mum. (She is hardly ever there though) He is a friend of my younger brother (my b.fd...
A. 2 September 2007: get rid off this man now. Let me tell you this is not love and never will be. How have you got yourself to this stage? Can you remember before you were in this situation......because I am sure you were actually happier and would not have accepted ... (read in full...)
Are we there yet?
Q. I am 24 , is there anything wrong with me asking out a girl who is 17 We see each other once a week on friday at work and various other places We get on well but I feel its time to ask her out. I don't want to make her think I am a creep thoug...
A. 2 September 2007: Hi love, well let me tell you that if you want to date this girl then you really need to do something about it and ask her out, either buy her a drink and chat to her after work, telling her that you would like to see more of her, it does not matter ... (read in full...)
He says the spark is gone. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and i are going through a hard time right now because he says the spark has gone..We've been together for 2 years now and we're great, we have the same sense of humor and have awesome chemistry but right now its just awkward..We are ...
A. 2 September 2007: Let this man go and move on, he your relationship is clearly over and it is time for you to move on and let each other find other people, if you are meant to be together then you will be.
... (read in full...)
We're on the verge of breaking up. My girlfriend has said she's not happy. Can I still fix this?
Q. I think i might be on the verge of a breakup. my girlfriend recently told me that she is very unhappy about some things and the she is reconsidering the relationship. weve been together for two years and i love her more than anything in the world. ...
A. 31 August 2007: Maybe you can fix it but if the issues are old ones and they are due to your behaviour or you, well maybe you should have fixed them when they first came to light.
Sounds like you need to do as much thinking as she is, and then you both need to sit ... (read in full...)
Was getting back with my ex, Now I'm panicking cuz he's not txt and his phone's off???
Q. was going out with my bf for a year. we broke up and i never made a secret of how i wanted to get back together. last weekend he said he felt the same and would like to get together soon, my prob is im a worrier really badly and haven't heard from...
A. 31 August 2007: Relax, it maybe his batterie, no credit etc.
I am like you and I too worry, it is an insecurity issue that for 30 years I have been battling with, you need to look on the brighter side, he would not have said it if he did not mean it.
Does he have ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and the 22 year old guy I met online wants to meet me!
Q. I met this boy over a chat room started talking but the problem is hes 22 im only 14 i know hes not an old man or anything becasue he sent me a picture with my name on i told him first that i thought he was a fake but now i know hes not. He wants ...
A. 31 August 2007: Don`t do it, he is not a boy he is a man and there is a big age difference, a bloke his age should not be looking for girls 14yrs.
Just because his pic looks real it still may not be, I work with sex offenders and they can make pictures look real... (read in full...)
Things started to go bad after he found out I was working as a prostitute...
Q. Hi.. I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and we were also engaged....He found out that i was working as a prostitute and he was so angry and after some time he said he forgave me..Everything seemed like it was fine and we even went awa...
A. 31 August 2007: Oh dear, you are in a relationship that is not ever going to be equal or work. He is treating you badly now and is in effect treating you like a prostitute, you are there for sex with him when and if he wants it and to pay you he compliments you and ... (read in full...)
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