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*meedle agony aunt


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*meedle's profile:

51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.

I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.

I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help.

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How do I get him to start talking to me or add me on social media so he can discover how much we have in common without outting myself to anyone?

Q.   First of all lemme explain a few things before I ask I've always liked men and women (bisexual) but always tend to lean on the straight side rather than gay, I actually always said I would never be with a man. However one particular guy has chan...

A.   25 July 2015: Slow down cowboy, time to take stock here. You like him but he has not shown any interest in you, you are bisexual and he is gay so its a good chance that he doesn't even realise you are interested in men let alone him. you are already picturin... (read in full...)

Is he trying to say that he loves me?

Q.   Hello, a guy talks to me alot, he flirts alot and compliments me very much. He asked me 3 times in every while for my number but i accepted to give him my number at the third time. Once i was talking to him he said that 'im a talkative person', and ...

A.   25 July 2015: This guy is playing with you, he likes the flirting, he likes the chasing, he likes someone to agony aunt him when he is low and tell him he is loved, what he is missing is a shrink not you. Stay away, he is a very troubled person and I think he... (read in full...)

I long for this other guy, but he has a Gf now. How do I accept this situation?

Q.   Hi, I was seeing this guy whilst I was on a break with my boyfriend, I had a real bad relationship with my boyfriend so things ended! I started seeing this other guy and I have never felt so happy we liked the same things he made me smile and happ...

A.   25 July 2015: ok, here it is, just what you don't want to hear - move on, it just isn't on his agenda right now and it may never be so don't waste your life waiting for someone who has someone else and may never want you again. If he wanted you, he would ha... (read in full...)

Is it normal to like lesbian porn?

Q.   Is it normal that I am a straight girl but enjoy lesbian porn?...

A.   25 July 2015:  Rest assured that you are normal, we don't just like one thing and often something we wouldn't expect to be turned on with actually does turn us on, and your no different its just your admitting to what a lot of people like but wouldn't admit to.. ... (read in full...)

Did I cut him off too quickly?

Q.   Ok so i was dating i had met a guy online. We had been dating for around two weeks and from the first we clicked instantly. We had gotten along so well that we were speaking everyday throughout the day he had told his family and friends about me and ...

A.   25 July 2015: Simple answer is - you did the right thing, time to accept what you have done and move on. Your gut (and mine after reading what you wrote) told you he was cheating and you acted on it, which was right so all is good as you don't want someone in y... (read in full...)

I worry my girlfriend will lose interest in me

Q.   Me and this amazing girl have been dating for about 8 months now. We do Love each other very much. But to be honest I feel very inferior to her, and I haven't told her. She's a musician and going to college for commercial music...Which actually I ...

A.   25 July 2015: What will be will be, you maybe right and she may find another guy but you equally maybe wrong and she will stay with you. Your feelings for each other are obviously deep but you are both young and you have not been with each other too long so all ... (read in full...)

I should have listened to my mum's warning about this man

Q.   I have let my Mum down by my actions the past while. I met a older man at work, he was always helping me and being friendly. The man has a wife so I always thought he seen me as just work-mate. After working there a while I had saved up enough ...

A.   25 July 2015: Ok time to get this into perspective, this bloke knew what he was doing when he offered to help you, he had an agenda and he was just waiting for the right time to make the move. He cannot send you a bill as he offered to help, he didn't give you ... (read in full...)

Is my mother an alcoholic and if so what can I do about it?

Q.   For at least the past ten years now my mom has been drinking every night. I grew up thinking it was normal (and maybe it is) to have three or sometimes more drinks a night. However, now i'm worried about it. Even when she is sick with the flu she ...

A.   25 July 2015: Sounds like she does have a problem with alcohol, drinking so much every night will be having an effect on her body but it does sound like she could be having some other issues maybe menopause. If she has not been to see a doctor then she need... (read in full...)

I love him but he shuts down when I mention sex!

Q.   I'm not really sure who to turn to so I guess I came here. I'm 21 years old and I have been married a year and a few months, but I have been with my husband a year before. So about 2 1/2 years together total. When we first got together we just...

A.   27 July 2009: Well this is a hard one, You are obviously struggling and that is making you depresses, you are going around in circles and getting nowhere. Sounds like you had a very active and varied sex life befin the beginning then as time went on it just dwin... (read in full...)

Since having kids my wife is never in the mood for sex

Q.   ever since we had a kid three years ago my wife is never in the mood for sex what can i do...

A.   24 July 2009: I can add no advice to the fantasic advice given by chevara and the last anonymous post as they are just from the heart and if either of them were my partners and id gone off sex then I would listen to them so take there lead and nothing ventured ... (read in full...)

She stopped answering her other line calls from me, what could this mean?

Q.   what does it mean when a women you known for a long time say a year ...stops answering your calls or when she is talking to someone esle doesnt stop what she is doing and pick up call waiting and let you know she is on the other line ...and w...

A.   24 July 2009: She is telling you she does not want calls from you, so stop calling its that simple. Take the hint its big enough... (read in full...)

He says he is willing to take a lie detector to prove he didnt cheat on me with a man!

Q.   Hi everyone I am a transwoman and I ve been dating this guy for 1year 6 months in at first things were like a fairytale I couldnt get enough of him. Things started to change he didnt have a job,a car or a place anyways I was willing to work with him ...

A.   24 July 2009: HI, Well you know what you heard and it was not about weed, so you need to be telling him that he shapes up and sorts his life out, job, money into the house and sees no more of this friend or he ships out and that is that. Take a good hard loo... (read in full...)

How do I tell my ex that I have an STD when he wont even talk to me?

Q.   I found out that i have a std after my boyfriend and me broke up. I don't think i got it from him. I think i caught it from someone before we got together. We've had unprotected sex 3 times. Now were not on talking terms. I wanna tell him bc i know ...

A.   24 July 2009: Well if possible you need to text him to tell him you have some bad news that he needs to hear and can he meet with you. Yes telling him will be unpleasant but so is passing this on to any new partner he has. You are doing the right thing by telli... (read in full...)

Want to have sex with my boyfriend but worried about how my 'stubble' down there looks!

Q.   right, me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a month now and we both have decided we want to have sex. But i'm a virgin and i'm really nervous but i've also told my boyfriend this. The problem is, he keeps asking me if i shave, and i do, ...

A.   23 July 2009: You can abstain from sex as you are too young and yes im too old to comment but you did ask. Sex should not be after a month, wait and see how you get on, you dont know each other, he may have had other sexual partners, he may have an STI, you may ... (read in full...)

I feel addicted to sex... How much is too much?

Q.   my boyfriend and i have sex constantly. Its my wanting to most of the time. But he doesn't want to sometimes because he says we have sex every day. I'm just always in the mood when it comes to him. Am i addicted to sex? I feel like i need it ...

A.   23 July 2009: depends on the couple, with some people once a month or once a year is normal but with some hourly is normal, who is to say. We are all different with different partners... (read in full...)

To treat my husband: spend a lot on a day, or pick something that won't break the bank?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months now and I wanted to do something special for him. He works really hard and finds it hard to chill out so I thought of either taking him to a day spa or just for a massage at a good salon in my ...

A.   23 July 2009: give up the idea of a spa, massage etc. Its his relaxing time and his treat, so ask him what he would like, quad biking, rallying and paintballing are all fun, yuck to the massage... (read in full...)

17 and only find men over 40 attractive

Q.   As you have probably seen from my last post I am in love with my teacher. But I only seem to be attracted to older men, I dont know why. I have never felt any affection to boys my age. Im 17 years old, im quite friendly to one guy who kissed me th...

A.   23 July 2009: oh dear, well all I can say as a woman in her 40`s is that for me a man in his 30`s would be nice but a man in his 70`s would not, so think about this scenario, you are in love with a man of 50 and you are 16, he does it for you now but soon he will ... (read in full...)

Can I take this as a sign of affection that he's into me or do some guys just like to cuddle?

Q.   Can I take this as a sign of affection that he's into me or do some guys just like to cuddle? I'm casually seeing this guy and yes we are sleeping together. He likes to cuddle in bed, especially after sex. When I fall asleep he's holding me and when ...

A.   23 July 2009: The fact that he takes the time to cuddle you and not just fall asleep and roll over is a good sign but you are young and take things slow you have the rest of your lives for commitment questions, just get to know each other and enjoy the feeling of ... (read in full...)

If I get pregnant, he says he'll do a runner! What should I do?

Q.   i'm 16 and my boyfriend keeps telling me he thinks i'm pregnant. first time was when i felt sick, he said i was pregnant. second was when i started my period a day before, he went mental saying i'm pregnant etc, and loads more sh*t like that. ...

A.   23 July 2009: Cut the crap and bin this waste of space, ... (read in full...)

My BF says if I loved him I would have sex with him

Q.   I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 39. he said he loves me and if I loved him I would have sex with him. what should i do?...

A.   23 July 2009: ok like the others im gonna say "your 19 not 9" if your a virgin then I apologise now but also like uncle phil im gonna ask, how long has he been grooming you as this is what he has been doing. The way I see it is give in or move on... (read in full...)

Why do good looking guys always get girlfriends?

Q.   why is it good looking guys always get girlfriends no matter where there are....

A.   23 July 2009: My bloke got me, and im not exactly a good looking chick, im not fit, sexy or young but he is... (read in full...)

Since having kids my wife is never in the mood for sex

Q.   ever since we had a kid three years ago my wife is never in the mood for sex what can i do...

A.   23 July 2009: It is possible that "anonymous" is right, maybe she has used you for kids but hopefully he is wrong and she is just tired and all this will have a happy ending. Your choice, listen to him and be depressed and hate her, see her as a user and your sel... (read in full...)

How can I make my penis bigger without pills?

Q.   is there any way to make your dick bigger without pills or nothin that costs alot of money? like naturally really im fourteen and my dick is a litte over five inches hard two inches wide. is that normal size? if not how do you make it bigger? ...

A.   23 July 2009: Sorry but you are normal, that is find size and you are still growing, ive seen grown mens penises that size and they also are normal and give women a lot of fun. ... (read in full...)

Since having kids my wife is never in the mood for sex

Q.   ever since we had a kid three years ago my wife is never in the mood for sex what can i do...

A.   23 July 2009: Childbirth and then the looking after kids can do that to you, but 3 years is excessive. Is she maybe worried about getting pregnant again? Do yoiu make sure she is not too tired, do you do some chores for her and let her relax then run the bath... (read in full...)

On one hand it is the best relationship I've ever had, on the other hand it is the worst!

Q.   he is a great guy, but has a couple of problems. have been with him 15 months he lives with me. we havent been intimate for 10 months, i ask him if he wants to be with me and he says yes but there is no affection. it is like living with a roommate...

A.   23 July 2009: Sounds like he loves you but has a very low sex drive and some form of communication disorder. Some women will be reading this thinking "great a man that leaves you alone and doesnt pester for sex" whilst others will be thinking what is the good... (read in full...)

Everything was going great until we had sex! What do I do now?

Q.   ok i met this guy at work and he was into me and i was too. he was real nice and sweet. until we had sex thats when everything went wrong. he started to treat me bad. until one night he called me when he was drunk. he was telling me he liked me and ...

A.   23 July 2009: Ditch this looser now, he is trouble and not worth the worry.... (read in full...)

Large labia this a turn off to men?

Q.   Hello This is a little bit embarrassing.... I just wondered if anyone could give me HONEST answers as to what they think as i'm too embarrassed to ask anyone I know. I have large labia minora that hang down a little... i am so paranoid about t...

A.   23 July 2009: Bet there is nothing to worry about but you feel there is and I have not seen you so dont know if there is or not so im telling you for peace of mind that you should go onto the web, put in labia and check it out, or log into embarrasing bodies on ... (read in full...)

I do love my fiancé but we keep drifting further and further apart, and to make things worse my ex is back in the picture!

Q.   My problem, I've been in a relationship with my fiancé, for 2 years. We fight no more than normal, but when we do fight it's usually me getting completly fed up with the fact that she does nothing, no want or drive to work, she sits around and gets ...

A.   23 July 2009: You live with a lazy freeloading woman, kick her out and hopefully that will sort her out. The ex is a nice temptation but give your self a break, take some time out (yes I know everyone tells you that)I dont think you know what you want and your... (read in full...)

What do you buy for a 4 year old who has everything?

Q.   My 4 year old son is soon to graduate from his private nursery school,and as you can imagine its going to be a very emotional event especially for mums and dads but not for his dad as he is very reluctant to take any real interest in his son`s life ...

A.   23 July 2009: Dear god, what ever next, graduation from nursery school! The world has gone mad, in my day you just went to school and got on with it, he is loved and cared for so should that not be enough, buying kids presents or treating them all the time teac... (read in full...)

I was in danger and could of died, but he couldnt care less because he needed his sleep!

Q.   My boyfriend and I had a rocky beginning. I loved him more than anything and it wasn't mutual. I did let him go and it took me dating another for him to realize he loves me. We've been together for five years and I thought everything was fine but ...

A.   23 July 2009: This one is easy, he is telling you he wants sleep more than you, if I had rang anyone and they answered me like that and told me to not be so dependant then I would be answering "fine, I will stand on my own two feet and goodbye and goodnight" E... (read in full...)

She knew that it would be a short-term relationship, but now she is pregnant

Q.   Hi, I have been dating a girl for nearly a year, I'm on holiday in the UK and we both know that I was going back to Aus in the end, I have been completely honest from the start about all that. I leave in 6 weeks, and she just told me she is pregnant ...

A.   23 July 2009: Ok, you have had your lectures and now you have to live with the consequence but I do feel that you will have to sort this out with her before you leave. How are things between you now and how many months pregnant is she? She has a son and is n... (read in full...)

Why has my boyfriend started calling me names and being horrible?

Q.   hey guys (: ive been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months now, weve generally been really happy together although he is rather prone to mood swings (a couple of times we almost ended the relationship over them). recently we spent a week together...

A.   22 July 2009: Dear god, just finish it with him and get over him, he is not really a nice bloke and is in fact trying to end it with you by being nasty and hurtful, people really do know that what they say hurts. He wants to antagonise you so you will end it and ... (read in full...)

Do I have a problem with cocaine?

Q.   If someone spends £230 on cocaine a week would you say they have a problem? It started off as trying it on a night out and im spending atleast £230 a week on it, and i mainly do by myself. I dont really have a family to turn to, all i have is fr...

A.   22 July 2009: I manage hostels and have worked with drug and alcohol dependents for years so feel confident in saying yes you do have a problem and its a big and not easily put right one. You have taken the first step by asking the question on here but im gues... (read in full...)

His performance in bed is so disappointing I'm not sure I want to see him again! Should I tell him?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for a very short time, He invited me to his place for a meal the other night. After a few glasses of wine, we ended up in bed. I was very dissapointed in his performance, to say the least. He was too rough, and didnt bother...

A.   22 July 2009: My first instinct is to say, "life is too short" to be with someone who you are not sexually compatable with but reading the other agony aunts/uncles I can see some merit in talking to him about this, but im sure it will at first hurt his feelings ... (read in full...)

She knew that it would be a short-term relationship, but now she is pregnant

Q.   Hi, I have been dating a girl for nearly a year, I'm on holiday in the UK and we both know that I was going back to Aus in the end, I have been completely honest from the start about all that. I leave in 6 weeks, and she just told me she is pregnant ...

A.   22 July 2009: Im assuming this was an accidental pregnancy? Why did you not use contraception, even if she says she is on the pil, that is not foolproof and if she got ill she may be not covered by the pill. You had sex with her knowing it was a short term rel... (read in full...)

My ex is having crazy mood swings, what's her problem

Q.   I work with an ex who cheated on me. I walked away caused no trouble and was hurt. It appears the other man didn't work out. During this time I have made every attempt to be civil and polite with my ex. But what I find is one day she will ...

A.   22 July 2009: got to agree with emilysanswers, and would like to add that working relationships when they end are hell. She may also have regrets and maybe hormonal. Stay out of her way, smile even if she doesnt respond and be yourself.... (read in full...)

Does this guy like me or is he just a flirt?

Q.   So theres this guy who i've been talking to him for some time now and i always get a vibe that he likes me but, he has a girlfriend... here is the story: I was talking to him for a like month and i was getting a vibe that he liked me. He said he ...

A.   22 July 2009: hiya Just bite the bullet and ask him out, ask him if he is in a relationship as you notice his status changes, if he is not then ask him out, if he is then wish him luck and move on and stop checking him as he maybe confused enough with a rela... (read in full...)

He tells me he loves me by text but not in person, should I be worried about this?

Q.   My boyfriend loves me. He's told me via text. Also when he's drunk. I also know that he wants us to last forever and move in together. But again, he says this through text or when he's drunk. I know he has communiation problems, but why won't he say ...

A.   22 July 2009: HI, No need to be freaked out by this, some people really are not good at expressing there feelings face to face or over the phone so do it in cards, letters or in modern day text form. You say he has a communication problem, is this somethin... (read in full...)

I haven't had a period in two months, what could be wrong?

Q.   I haven't had a period in over 2 months. I'm obviously a girl, I haven't had sex. What's going on with me? :/...

A.   9 February 2009: Hiya, are you trying to loose weight or excersising a lot more than normal? Are you stressed? Periods can be late or totally missed for a month or two if you are on a strict diet, under weight, or training really hard, if you are worried or stres... (read in full...)

How do you get over feeling like a fool for trusting someone you shouldn't have?

Q.   How do you get over feeling like a fool for trusting someone you shouldn't have? Or for allowing yourself to be used even though you knew better?...

A.   6 February 2009: Well quick answer is that we are human and so dont listen to the logic of our head. We seem at times to think with our heart and only to listen to that. No one has got to our age and not made mistakes by loving someone who we knew would be wron... (read in full...)

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