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... Send smeedle a private message | | | smeedle's profile:Well im 45 and feel some days like 25 and others like 75 have a horse, cats and a 19 yr old son. Have a lovely bloke who every day makes me smile. Live in North Wales but born in Merseyside. Manage supported living schemes in North Wales. life has not always been as good as it is now and like everyone ive had my fair share of ups and mostly downs. poor childhood, cheated on, single mum, redundancy etc so feel able to answer honestly and with experience some of the questions posted. |
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I love him but he shuts down when I mention sex!
Q. I'm not really sure who to turn to so I guess I came here. I'm 21 years old and I have been married a year and a few months, but I have been with my husband a year before. So about 2 1/2 years together total. When we first got together we just...
A. 27 July 2009: Well this is a hard one, You are obviously struggling and that is making you depresses, you are going around in circles and getting nowhere.
Sounds like you had a very active and varied sex life befin the beginning then as time went on it just dwin... (read in full...)
Since having kids my wife is never in the mood for sex
Q. ever since we had a kid three years ago my wife is never in the mood for sex what can i do...
A. 24 July 2009: I can add no advice to the fantasic advice given by chevara and the last anonymous post as they are just from the heart and if either of them were my partners and id gone off sex then I would listen to them so take there lead and nothing ventured ... (read in full...)
She stopped answering her other line calls from me, what could this mean?
Q. what does it mean when a women you known for a long time say a year ...stops answering your calls or when she is talking to someone esle doesnt stop what she is doing and pick up call waiting and let you know she is on the other line ...and w...
A. 24 July 2009: She is telling you she does not want calls from you, so stop calling its that simple.
Take the hint its big enough... (read in full...)
He says he is willing to take a lie detector to prove he didnt cheat on me with a man!
Q. Hi everyone I am a transwoman and I ve been dating this guy for 1year 6 months in at first things were like a fairytale I couldnt get enough of him. Things started to change he didnt have a job,a car or a place anyways I was willing to work with him ...
A. 24 July 2009: HI,
Well you know what you heard and it was not about weed, so you need to be telling him that he shapes up and sorts his life out, job, money into the house and sees no more of this friend or he ships out and that is that.
Take a good hard loo... (read in full...)
How do I tell my ex that I have an STD when he wont even talk to me?
Q. I found out that i have a std after my boyfriend and me broke up. I don't think i got it from him. I think i caught it from someone before we got together. We've had unprotected sex 3 times. Now were not on talking terms. I wanna tell him bc i know ...
A. 24 July 2009: Well if possible you need to text him to tell him you have some bad news that he needs to hear and can he meet with you.
Yes telling him will be unpleasant but so is passing this on to any new partner he has.
You are doing the right thing by telli... (read in full...)
Want to have sex with my boyfriend but worried about how my 'stubble' down there looks!
Q. right, me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a month now and we both have decided we want to have sex. But i'm a virgin and i'm really nervous but i've also told my boyfriend this. The problem is, he keeps asking me if i shave, and i do, ...
A. 23 July 2009: You can abstain from sex as you are too young and yes im too old to comment but you did ask.
Sex should not be after a month, wait and see how you get on, you dont know each other, he may have had other sexual partners, he may have an STI, you may ... (read in full...)
I feel addicted to sex... How much is too much?
Q. my boyfriend and i have sex constantly. Its my wanting to most of the time. But he doesn't want to sometimes because he says we have sex every day. I'm just always in the mood when it comes to him. Am i addicted to sex? I feel like i need it ...
A. 23 July 2009: depends on the couple, with some people once a month or once a year is normal but with some hourly is normal, who is to say.
We are all different with different partners... (read in full...)
To treat my husband: spend a lot on a day, or pick something that won't break the bank?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months now and I wanted to do something special for him. He works really hard and finds it hard to chill out so I thought of either taking him to a day spa or just for a massage at a good salon in my ...
A. 23 July 2009: give up the idea of a spa, massage etc. Its his relaxing time and his treat, so ask him what he would like, quad biking, rallying and paintballing are all fun, yuck to the massage... (read in full...)
17 and only find men over 40 attractive
Q. As you have probably seen from my last post I am in love with my teacher. But I only seem to be attracted to older men, I dont know why. I have never felt any affection to boys my age. Im 17 years old, im quite friendly to one guy who kissed me th...
A. 23 July 2009: oh dear, well all I can say as a woman in her 40`s is that for me a man in his 30`s would be nice but a man in his 70`s would not, so think about this scenario, you are in love with a man of 50 and you are 16, he does it for you now but soon he will ... (read in full...)
Can I take this as a sign of affection that he's into me or do some guys just like to cuddle?
Q. Can I take this as a sign of affection that he's into me or do some guys just like to cuddle? I'm casually seeing this guy and yes we are sleeping together. He likes to cuddle in bed, especially after sex. When I fall asleep he's holding me and when ...
A. 23 July 2009: The fact that he takes the time to cuddle you and not just fall asleep and roll over is a good sign but you are young and take things slow you have the rest of your lives for commitment questions, just get to know each other and enjoy the feeling of ... (read in full...)
If I get pregnant, he says he'll do a runner! What should I do?
Q. i'm 16 and my boyfriend keeps telling me he thinks i'm pregnant. first time was when i felt sick, he said i was pregnant. second was when i started my period a day before, he went mental saying i'm pregnant etc, and loads more sh*t like that. ...
A. 23 July 2009: Cut the crap and bin this waste of space, ... (read in full...)
My BF says if I loved him I would have sex with him
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 39. he said he loves me and if I loved him I would have sex with him. what should i do?...
A. 23 July 2009: ok like the others im gonna say "your 19 not 9" if your a virgin then I apologise now but also like uncle phil im gonna ask, how long has he been grooming you as this is what he has been doing. The way I see it is give in or move on... (read in full...)
Why do good looking guys always get girlfriends?
Q. why is it good looking guys always get girlfriends no matter where there are....
A. 23 July 2009: My bloke got me, and im not exactly a good looking chick, im not fit, sexy or young but he is... (read in full...)
Since having kids my wife is never in the mood for sex
Q. ever since we had a kid three years ago my wife is never in the mood for sex what can i do...
A. 23 July 2009: It is possible that "anonymous" is right, maybe she has used you for kids but hopefully he is wrong and she is just tired and all this will have a happy ending. Your choice, listen to him and be depressed and hate her, see her as a user and your sel... (read in full...)
How can I make my penis bigger without pills?
Q. is there any way to make your dick bigger without pills or nothin that costs alot of money? like naturally really im fourteen and my dick is a litte over five inches hard two inches wide. is that normal size? if not how do you make it bigger? ...
A. 23 July 2009: Sorry but you are normal, that is find size and you are still growing, ive seen grown mens penises that size and they also are normal and give women a lot of fun.
... (read in full...)
Since having kids my wife is never in the mood for sex
Q. ever since we had a kid three years ago my wife is never in the mood for sex what can i do...
A. 23 July 2009: Childbirth and then the looking after kids can do that to you, but 3 years is excessive.
Is she maybe worried about getting pregnant again?
Do yoiu make sure she is not too tired, do you do some chores for her and let her relax then run the bath... (read in full...)
On one hand it is the best relationship I've ever had, on the other hand it is the worst!
Q. he is a great guy, but has a couple of problems. have been with him 15 months he lives with me. we havent been intimate for 10 months, i ask him if he wants to be with me and he says yes but there is no affection. it is like living with a roommate...
A. 23 July 2009: Sounds like he loves you but has a very low sex drive and some form of communication disorder.
Some women will be reading this thinking "great a man that leaves you alone and doesnt pester for sex" whilst others will be thinking what is the good... (read in full...)
Everything was going great until we had sex! What do I do now?
Q. ok i met this guy at work and he was into me and i was too. he was real nice and sweet. until we had sex thats when everything went wrong. he started to treat me bad. until one night he called me when he was drunk. he was telling me he liked me and ...
A. 23 July 2009: Ditch this looser now, he is trouble and not worth the worry.... (read in full...)
Large labia minora....is this a turn off to men?
Q. Hello This is a little bit embarrassing.... I just wondered if anyone could give me HONEST answers as to what they think as i'm too embarrassed to ask anyone I know. I have large labia minora that hang down a little... i am so paranoid about t...
A. 23 July 2009: Bet there is nothing to worry about but you feel there is and I have not seen you so dont know if there is or not so im telling you for peace of mind that you should go onto the web, put in labia and check it out, or log into embarrasing bodies on ... (read in full...)
I do love my fiancé but we keep drifting further and further apart, and to make things worse my ex is back in the picture!
Q. My problem, I've been in a relationship with my fiancé, for 2 years. We fight no more than normal, but when we do fight it's usually me getting completly fed up with the fact that she does nothing, no want or drive to work, she sits around and gets ...
A. 23 July 2009: You live with a lazy freeloading woman, kick her out and hopefully that will sort her out.
The ex is a nice temptation but give your self a break, take some time out (yes I know everyone tells you that)I dont think you know what you want and your... (read in full...)
What do you buy for a 4 year old who has everything?
Q. My 4 year old son is soon to graduate from his private nursery school,and as you can imagine its going to be a very emotional event especially for mums and dads but not for his dad as he is very reluctant to take any real interest in his son`s life ...
A. 23 July 2009: Dear god, what ever next, graduation from nursery school!
The world has gone mad, in my day you just went to school and got on with it, he is loved and cared for so should that not be enough, buying kids presents or treating them all the time teac... (read in full...)
I was in danger and could of died, but he couldnt care less because he needed his sleep!
Q. My boyfriend and I had a rocky beginning. I loved him more than anything and it wasn't mutual. I did let him go and it took me dating another for him to realize he loves me. We've been together for five years and I thought everything was fine but ...
A. 23 July 2009: This one is easy, he is telling you he wants sleep more than you, if I had rang anyone and they answered me like that and told me to not be so dependant then I would be answering "fine, I will stand on my own two feet and goodbye and goodnight"
E... (read in full...)
She knew that it would be a short-term relationship, but now she is pregnant
Q. Hi, I have been dating a girl for nearly a year, I'm on holiday in the UK and we both know that I was going back to Aus in the end, I have been completely honest from the start about all that. I leave in 6 weeks, and she just told me she is pregnant ...
A. 23 July 2009: Ok, you have had your lectures and now you have to live with the consequence but I do feel that you will have to sort this out with her before you leave.
How are things between you now and how many months pregnant is she?
She has a son and is n... (read in full...)
Why has my boyfriend started calling me names and being horrible?
Q. hey guys (: ive been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months now, weve generally been really happy together although he is rather prone to mood swings (a couple of times we almost ended the relationship over them). recently we spent a week together...
A. 22 July 2009: Dear god, just finish it with him and get over him, he is not really a nice bloke and is in fact trying to end it with you by being nasty and hurtful, people really do know that what they say hurts.
He wants to antagonise you so you will end it and ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with cocaine?
Q. If someone spends £230 on cocaine a week would you say they have a problem? It started off as trying it on a night out and im spending atleast £230 a week on it, and i mainly do by myself. I dont really have a family to turn to, all i have is fr...
A. 22 July 2009: I manage hostels and have worked with drug and alcohol dependents for years so feel confident in saying yes you do have a problem and its a big and not easily put right one.
You have taken the first step by asking the question on here but im gues... (read in full...)
His performance in bed is so disappointing I'm not sure I want to see him again! Should I tell him?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a very short time, He invited me to his place for a meal the other night. After a few glasses of wine, we ended up in bed. I was very dissapointed in his performance, to say the least. He was too rough, and didnt bother...
A. 22 July 2009: My first instinct is to say, "life is too short" to be with someone who you are not sexually compatable with but reading the other agony aunts/uncles I can see some merit in talking to him about this, but im sure it will at first hurt his feelings ... (read in full...)
She knew that it would be a short-term relationship, but now she is pregnant
Q. Hi, I have been dating a girl for nearly a year, I'm on holiday in the UK and we both know that I was going back to Aus in the end, I have been completely honest from the start about all that. I leave in 6 weeks, and she just told me she is pregnant ...
A. 22 July 2009: Im assuming this was an accidental pregnancy?
Why did you not use contraception, even if she says she is on the pil, that is not foolproof and if she got ill she may be not covered by the pill.
You had sex with her knowing it was a short term rel... (read in full...)
My ex is having crazy mood swings, what's her problem
Q. I work with an ex who cheated on me. I walked away caused no trouble and was hurt. It appears the other man didn't work out. During this time I have made every attempt to be civil and polite with my ex. But what I find is one day she will ...
A. 22 July 2009: got to agree with emilysanswers, and would like to add that working relationships when they end are hell.
She may also have regrets and maybe hormonal.
Stay out of her way, smile even if she doesnt respond and be yourself.... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me or is he just a flirt?
Q. So theres this guy who i've been talking to him for some time now and i always get a vibe that he likes me but, he has a girlfriend... here is the story: I was talking to him for a like month and i was getting a vibe that he liked me. He said he ...
A. 22 July 2009: hiya
Just bite the bullet and ask him out, ask him if he is in a relationship as you notice his status changes, if he is not then ask him out, if he is then wish him luck and move on and stop checking him as he maybe confused enough with a rela... (read in full...)
He tells me he loves me by text but not in person, should I be worried about this?
Q. My boyfriend loves me. He's told me via text. Also when he's drunk. I also know that he wants us to last forever and move in together. But again, he says this through text or when he's drunk. I know he has communiation problems, but why won't he say ...
A. 22 July 2009: HI,
No need to be freaked out by this, some people really are not good at expressing there feelings face to face or over the phone so do it in cards, letters or in modern day text form.
You say he has a communication problem, is this somethin... (read in full...)
I haven't had a period in two months, what could be wrong?
Q. I haven't had a period in over 2 months. I'm obviously a girl, I haven't had sex. What's going on with me? :/...
A. 9 February 2009: Hiya, are you trying to loose weight or excersising a lot more than normal?
Are you stressed?
Periods can be late or totally missed for a month or two if you are on a strict diet, under weight, or training really hard, if you are worried or stres... (read in full...)
How do you get over feeling like a fool for trusting someone you shouldn't have?
Q. How do you get over feeling like a fool for trusting someone you shouldn't have? Or for allowing yourself to be used even though you knew better?...
A. 6 February 2009: Well quick answer is that we are human and so dont listen to the logic of our head. We seem at times to think with our heart and only to listen to that.
No one has got to our age and not made mistakes by loving someone who we knew would be wron... (read in full...)
Why are woman naturally jealous?
Q. Why are we women naturally jealous? Men are naturally visual, so they naturally have a "wandering eye". Why do we have to be jealous then? I'm not saying "all women" or "all men", but most. I know I get jealous as much as I rationally know ...
A. 5 February 2009: Human nature is a mysteriouse thing and we we never fully understand it.
Im a very jealouse person and much as I try to stop the feelings they will always be there, so now I tell any partners about my jealousy and happily the love of my life does... (read in full...)
Does my b/f still like his ex?
Q. I've been bestfriends with this boy then we went out for one day b/c he kissed his ex . I forgave him but we went bak to being friends . we went out again in November but his ex was making it miserable for me and they kissed again . Now we go...
A. 5 February 2009: Yes, Yes and more yes, he does still like her and he aint gonna give her up so you need to see this and make a decision, either put up with her still in his life or ditch him and tell them you hope they will be very happy together but there aint ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my ex?
Q. i love my ex very much and i havent give up on him. i didnt want to break up with him but i had to. it has just beenn a month and he's telling me he realllyyy likes this girl. and he says he's very happy with her and she understands him more. he ...
A. 5 February 2009: Time to move on, some people can stay friends with there ex and im still friends with one of mine, but its clear that this is not the case for you, you love him still and the hurt is raw.
He thinks you have moved on emotionally like he has, some... (read in full...)
She refused me. Should we stay friends?
Q. Should i remain friend to a girl who refused to be my girlfriend and how?...
A. 28 January 2009: We all need friends and so why not, it maybe hard if you really fancy her but if she dont fancy you back then surely a friendship is better than nothing.
Yes its hard to be mates but you cannot make someone fancy you and you could have fun toge... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't want me to have any female friends.
Q. Written here before many times. My gf has broken up with me many times. We keep getting back togethre. During the last break up, which lasted a month, I met new friends thorugh some old friends. When my gf and I are together she is very jealous. I ...
A. 28 January 2009: Read what you have wrote and think if you were me how would you reply.
You have said that she will probably break up with you once again anyhow so my advice on this occasion is to go with your friends and live with any consequence.
Your partner ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my gfs low sex drive??
Q. dear cupid, My,girlfreind has a really low sex drive, she has been like this ever since i met her and now its starting to hurt me because i want her to feel the same way sexually about me as i do her. When we have sex its always me coming on to ...
A. 28 January 2009: I feel sad for both of you, sex within a relationship is the best and worse thing as it causes ups and downs with couples.
Very rarely do we find a partner with the same sex drive as ourselves and this can turn what should be fantastic into a war ... (read in full...)
I love him, but staying with him would make me a home wrecker. What should I do?
Q. o dear god you are going to think that i am a right ho but im not honest. i had the most amazing sex this is what happend. i work wid the guy ok and he asked me if i wanted to go for lunch and i said ok not thinking anything of it den he drove us...
A. 28 January 2009: Im sorry to tell you this but this boss/ cheating man has just abused his power as your boss, he has fancied you and took you, he promised you the earth and made you feel special, he can do that as he is the boss, has the title and the money, you ... (read in full...)
I fell in love over MSN but he doesn't return my feelings.
Q. i fell in love wiv some guy over msn (i didnt know him but i couldnt help it) and when i told him i loved him he sed he loved me to. he likes it when i flirt wiv him but a few days later he told me to stop thinking of him in tht way and, like i sed ...
A. 28 January 2009: How old is this boy/man?
Is he still having any contact with you?
Problems with relationships that are just internet ones are that they are not at the whole thing, you can be someone yoiu would like to be and they can be the same, you can loose yo... (read in full...)
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